Work Text:
one day, completely out of the blue, there was a knock on the door to manfred von karma's office.
"come in," said manfred von karma. he said this in a somewhat frustrated and exasperated tone of voice, because he'd had a very long day of work, and was not too keen on speaking to visitors.
"hello, manfred," said gregory edgeworth.
manfred von karma was very surprised that it was gregory edgeworth who had come to see him. he blinked, and clumsily removed his reading glasses, that he had been using to read a document. then he coughed. then he glanced around, and finally, looked straight at gregory edgeworth's hat, because it was close enough to gregory edgeworth's eyes that he probably would not notice that manfred von karma was not making direct eye contact.
"hello, gregory," said manfred von karma. "what are you doing here. i thought you also had work to do all the time."
"actually, today has been quite slow," responded gregory edgeworth.
"oh," said manfred von karma.
"the reason i am here," said gregory edgeworth, because he knew that the next thing manfred von karma was going to ask was the reason he was there, "is that while i was sitting in at my desk, aimlessly sorting through papers, an idea occurred to me."
manfred von karma felt a twinge of envy. whenever he was sitting at his desk, aimlessly sorting through papers, all he could think about was the papers.
"the idea was," gregory edgeworth continued, "that we should go on a family outing tonight."
"but we did not discuss this beforehand," said manfred von karma. "it is too soon to be making rash changes to our schedules."
"i know, manfred. i just thought that it might be a fun change of pace," said gregory edgeworth.
manfred von karma did not think that any change of pace sounded very fun at all.
he sighed. "where did you want to go."
gregory edgeworth smiled, making manfred von karma's heart skip a beat, because a genuine smile from gregory edgeworth was quite possibly the most beautiful thing in the world to him.
"i thought we could, perhaps, go rollerskating?" said gregory edgeworth, with an audible question mark at the end of his sentence.
rollerskating.
manfred von karma had, quite obviously, never been rollerskating before.
"i have never been rollerskating before," said manfred von karma.
"it would be good to try at least once," replied gregory edgeworth, logically. "besides, tonight is dollar night. each person gets to go rollerskating for only a dollar."
manfred von karma blinked.
"is this true," he said.
"well, a dollar, plus three for skate rental," admitted gregory edgeworth. "but that is much less than it would cost on other days."
manfred von karma considered his options. he could go along with gregory edgeworth's strange idea, and perhaps have an enjoyable experience for a reduced price. or, he could pass up on this opportunity, missing his chance at a bargain, and go at a later time, when he'd had more of a chance to prepare.
his brows furrowed, and he glanced back up at gregory edgeworth, who was standing in the doorway with a serene and hopeful smile on his irritatingly attractive face.
"fine. we will go rollerskating," said manfred von karma.
gregory edgeworth beamed.
that evening, the von karma-edgeworth family piled into gregory edgeworth's car and drove off in the direction of the skating rink. however, when they arrived at the location that the gps indicated, the sign had no mention of rollerskating whatsoever.
"that is odd," said gregory edgeworth.
"perhaps it says something on the building itself?" said miles.
they all peered at the side of the building. it was not very flashy at all. just a plain white wall, with a large lcd display (which is a redundant phrase, but for clarity's sake, we will use it anyway) over the main door.
"it doesn't say anything," said franziska von karma. "are you certain that this is the right place."
"it is where the gps is telling me to go," said gregory edgeworth.
"perhaps we should drive around and see if it is a nearby building," said miles. "the system could be malfunctioning."
everyone agreed that the gps sometimes did some very strange and inexplicable things, and that it was entirely possible that it could be telling them the wrong place.
as they were pulling out of the driveway, gregory edgeworth said, "wait. look at the back of the sign and see if it says anything different."
"why would it say anything different," said manfred von karma. "wouldn't they want to tell people coming from both sides what their establishment is about."
"i know it seems far-fetched," said gregory edgeworth. "i merely wish to be absolutely certain."
franziska von karma, manfred von karma and miles all turned around as best they could to see the other side of the sign.
"'bowling, parties, and-- roller rink'," read franziska von karma.
"oh," said manfred von karma.
they entered the building single file. the entrance consisted of a fairly large, empty-looking room, with trophies displayed on one wall and someone behind a counter at the other side. flyers for different rollerskating events were scattered across the front and back walls.
"four adults, please," said gregory edgeworth, to the ticket person. they were handed their tickets, and the door to the rink opened.
immediately, manfred von karma was bombarded with a horrible light-sound-smell combination. the noise of children screaming and around fifty people all talking over one another accosted his ears, and the sweaty scent of those same fifty people rolling around at high speeds threatened to overwhelm him. the lights would have been fine on their own, but combined with everything else, they only compounded his desire to run out of the building as soon as possible.
he clenched his teeth and emitted a steady, quiet screeching noise not dissimilar to that of a boiling kettle.
"let's go and get our rollerskates," said gregory edgeworth, loudly. manfred von karma followed him, still screeching softly, and franziska von karma and miles trailed behind manfred von karma.
after they had all gotten their rollerskates on, and were failing miserably at keeping their balance, they half-rolled, half-stumbled over to the carpeted entrance to the rink. franziska von karma declared that she would go first, despite gregory edgeworth suggesting that they all practice on carpet for a while before making the transition to hardwood. miles trailed after her, probably concerned for her safety. gregory edgeworth and manfred von karma were left on their own yet again.
manfred von karma tugged on gregory edgeworth's sleeve.
"what is it, manfred?" gregory edgeworth asked, voice still raised.
"i am having my doubts about this being a fun outing," said manfred von karma.
"what," said gregory edgeworth.
"it is just that, everything here is horrible. why would anyone make a place like this. i cannot stand being here and i want to leave," said manfred von karma.
"what," said gregory edgeworth.
"i want to leave," said manfred von karma, emphasizing his words.
"what," said gregory edgeworth.
manfred von karma began to realize what was going on.
"let's talk somewhere quieter," said manfred von karma.
"what," said gregory edgeworth.
after manfred von karma had pulled gregory edgeworth into the bathroom, which, ironically enough, smelled somewhat more agreeable than the rest of the building, he took a deep breath and faced his partner. sadly, he had not brought his hat, so manfred von karma stared at his eyebrows instead.
"this place is horrifyingly overstimulating and i want to get out," said manfred von karma.
gregory edgeworth sighed. "i understand completely," he said. "i am very sorry for not looking into what it would be like. my memories of roller rinks were so nice that it seems i forgot how overwhelming they might be to a person sensitive to these kinds of things."
"it is fine," said manfred von karma.
"the dilemma here is that i can hardly ask miles and franziska to leave now, when we have only just arrived," said gregory edgeworth. "we could turn in our skates, and sit outside while they have fun, if that would be all right with you?"
manfred von karma smiled and nodded. once again, gregory edgeworth had come up with an entirely logical solution to the problem.
they did as gregory edgeworth had suggested, and chose a spot on the curb to sit. the night sky looked very peaceful, and manfred von karma could barely hear the sounds that had been so loud before. he took a very deep breath.
gregory edgeworth put a hand on manfred von karma's shoulder.
"i am still very sorry about all this," he said.
"no, it is okay," said manfred von karma. "i agreed to come, after all. it was nice to get out, even if it did not turn out like i had hoped."
gregory edgeworth nodded.
they sat on the curb for a while. manfred von karma felt very calm, and relaxed. eventually, he came to a resolution.
"gregory," he said.
"yes?" said gregory edgeworth.
"i would like to go back inside," said manfred von karma.
gregory edgeworth looked very worried. "are you sure," he said. "i do not want you to feel bad."
"i will be fine," said manfred von karma. "i have taken some time to prepare myself. now i know what to expect, and i am determined to try this at least once."
gregory edgeworth understood, and together, they went back into the building.
once they were inside, manfred von karma looked over to the rink and easily picked out franziska von karma, doing her very best to race against miles. they were both laughing. franziska von karma seemed to have the hang of moving around without using the wall for support, and manfred von karma felt very proud of her.
they got their rollerskates back, and after they had practiced skating short lengths on the carpet, they decided that it was time to kick things up a notch. it was time to join their children, and dozens of strangers, on the rink. they held hands and stepped down onto the floor.
"whoa," said gregory edgeworth, trying to keep his balance.
"'whoa' is certainly right," said manfred von karma.
"i am not sure i will be able to do this," said gregory edgeworth. "i am having enough trouble simply standing up as it is."
"nonsense," said manfred von karma. "we will learn to rollerskate together."
manfred von karma tried to keep his feet moving in parallel lines, before discovering that if he kept them in a 'v' shape, he could push off on one foot and keep himself going. he told gregory edgeworth this, and they both slowly made their way around the edge of the room, relying on each other for balance. halfway around the edge, manfred von karma felt very much overheated, and gregory edgeworth said that he should have taken his jacket off before skating.
"i know that now, obviously," said manfred von karma.
"let's get back to where we started. then we can put your jacket with all the others," gregory edgeworth said.
eventually, and with a moderate amount of effort, they managed to get out of the rink, and over to the row of hooks where the jackets were. manfred von karma took off his jacket, and felt much better.
"aren't you going to take off your cravat, as well," said gregory edgeworth.
"who do you think i am," said manfred von karma.
they could not go back on the rink for a few minutes after that, because it was announced that there was a limbo contest. all the children, and some adults, formed a line behind the limbo stick. franziska decided to enter, but did not win, which made her feel somewhat bummed, but gregory edgeworth bought her a slushy and a grilled cheese sandwich for her efforts.
at the end of the day, only one of the group seemed to have actually gained any significant skill at rollerskating. gregory edgeworth, especially, was still as terrible at skating as when he had started out.
"it is because you are old," said manfred von karma.
"manfred, you are fifteen years older than i am," said gregory edgeworth.
"actually, time is an illusion," said manfred von karma.
they all had a very good night's rest after their adventure. manfred von karma would probably never go back to that particular skating rink, but he felt that it had been a good thing to try, after a fair amount of preparation. gregory edgeworth was very glad that his family had gone on a journey with him, and felt that their bonds had been strengthened. franziska von karma made fun of miles for falling down after attempting a fistbump and high-five combination, of the sort that one might see teenagers do, for about three weeks afterwards.
the end