Chapter Text
Hindsight is 20/20. Kurt had never appreciated the bitter irony of that statement more than he did now as he sat on a Greyhound bus with all of his worldly possessions shoved into a nondescript green duffel bag with a fake ID in his pocket, five thousand dollars to his name and his infant daughter asleep in her carrier on the seat next to him. Kurt was bone tired but too afraid to sleep so he could do nothing but look at his daughter, fight back the tears and hope that he could run far enough and fast enough that Sebastian would never be able to find them. Kurt instinctively reached out and ran his fingertips across his daughter's cheek. Nicollette was the most important thing that Kurt had taken with him when he'd fled. She was the reason for his flight to begin with and the only thing he couldn't-wouldn't-leave behind. He had left everyone and everything else, including Kurt Hummel-Smythe behind. He had left the penthouse apartment he'd spent months decorating. He had left his small design house and his part job writing a column for Vogue. He had left New York, the city he'd been dreaming of living in since he was twelve. He had left his wardrobe and his books, his sketches and his studio, his friends and his family, because all of it belonged to Kurt Hummel-Smythe and he simply couldn't be Kurt Hummel-Smythe anymore.
A single tear tracked its way down Kurt's cheek and he dashed it away. Kurt, husband to Sebastian Smythe, son of Burt Hummel, stepson to Carole, stepbrother to Finn, best friend to Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones was now ghost, a memory. Kurt didn't exist anymore. He would never hug his father or Carole again. He would never again fly to LA to go shopping with Mercedes or have another movie night with Rachel and Finn. He would never again fall asleep with his head pillowed in Blaine's lap as they watched old reruns of bad reality television shows. He would never go to another New Directions or Warblers reunion party. Life as he'd known it was over.
The phone call to his father to say goodbye had nearly broken his resolve. To hear his dad break down and know that he was the one causing him pain and that it was his poor choices and bad decision making that was forcing Burt to say goodbye to his son and his grandchild had nearly broken Kurt. Having his father's blessing hadn't made the guilt or the shame any easier to bear. He'd given his father messages to pass on to the rest of his friends and family and hung up swearing that he'd find a safe way every year on the anniversary of his parents first date to let Burt know that he and his granddaughter were ok.
Kurt was alone for the first time in his life and he was terrified. He'd been lonely before but he'd never been truly alone. He'd always had his father. Then he'd had the guys at the shop and later on Mercedes, Rachel and Glee, Cheerios and Coach Sylvester, Carole and Finn, Blaine and then Sebastian.
Sebastian. Sebastian had come into Kurt's life, equal parts arrogance and intelligence and changed it in ways Kurt never could have imagined when he sat across from him in the Lima Bean trading insults and fighting over Blaine. They'd gone from bitter rivals to best friends in the span of a year. After Kurt and Blaine's break up his relationship with Sebastian made one more turn and they went from friends to lovers. By the time they'd been living together for a year Kurt had been so in love that when Sebastian explained to him exactly what the "family business" was that he was expected to take over someday, Kurt hadn't cared.
Kurt had told himself that it was "someday" was way off in the distant, hazy future and they didn't need to worry about it. They were kids and they were in love and that was all that mattered. Kurt had convinced himself that Sebastian Smythe former Dalton Academy Warbler and current NYU student and Sebastian Smythe future mob boss were two different people. He'd believed Sebastian when he'd promised him that his familial obligations would never touch their life, that he'd never give Kurt a reason to be afraid and that he'd keep him safe. Kurt had believed, he'd believed so completely that he'd lied by omission to his friends and family, keeping Sebastian's secret.
But all dreams must come to an end and during their senior year in college the bottom had dropped out. Sebastian's father had been indicted on RICO Violations and Racketeering charges and after a lengthy trial that ended in him being found not guilty, Alexander Smythe had been gunned down on the courthouse steps.
The "truth" had come flooding out then. Stories about the Smythe family and their connections to the Mafia swirled and suddenly Kurt was fielding concerned calls from family and friends, being interviewed by federal, state and local police and stalked by tabloid media.
He'd never wavered once. He'd given the performance of a lifetime and recited verbatim the lines that Sebastian had taught him to say in the event they had ever found themselves in that situation. He'd lied to his family and friends. He'd lied to the police and the FBI. He'd played his part perfectly and Sebastian had rewarded his love and loyalty with an engagement ring and the promise of forever.
A year later he and Sebastian were married and Sebastian had taken over his father's territory. Sebastian kept every promise he'd made Kurt for three years. He put up the capitol for Kurt to begin his own design house which resulted in Kurt landing a guest editor position at Vogue. They moved into a gorgeous penthouse on the Upper East Side. They went out to dinner and to parties, to Broadway shows and gallery openings, to the finest five star restaurants and tiny hidden cafe's. Kurt was living a dream and he learned to ignore the reality of the body guards and bullet proof glass. He learned to live with the split second of fear whenever Sebastian left for "business trips" or went to "important meetings". He allowed himself to believe that Sebastian being mobster wouldn't impact their happily ever after and then Rachel had gotten pregnant and Kurt had been practically assaulted by the desire to be a parent. Sebastian had balked initially, not wanting to raise a child in the same environment he'd grown up in but Kurt had eventually convinced him that it would be fine, that they would be amazing parents and that he had faith in Sebastian.
He and Sebastian discussed their options for months before deciding on surrogacy. Kurt had insisted Sebastian be the child's biological father-he'd hoped having a biological connection would ease any lingering doubts Sebastian might have. When the procedure had taken, they had been overjoyed. When Nicollette had been born Sebastian had given him a platinum necklace with all three of their initials engraved onto a Gordian knot. Kurt had honestly thought his life was perfect and then a few months later he had walked into their home to hear Sebastian ordering a hit on their accountant, a man Kurt considered a friend. A man they had just had over for dinner. A man whose wife Kurt had just thrown a baby shower for.
A man who, it turned out, had been an undercover cop.
Kurt had been shocked but retreated back into his fantasy world and pretended he didn't know and that he hadn't heard his husband on the on the phone coldly ordering the execution of another human being as casually as he ordered Thai food for dinner.
Kurt's denial had worked until the day the day Kristoff's body was found.
Kristoff's teeth had been crudely removed and his tongue cut out. His hands had been cut off, both eyes were gouged out and he had more broken bones than intact ones. The body had been in such a state that there had been no choice but to have a closed casket funeral. Kurt's illusions about how dangerous Sebastian was and how deadly he could be had been ripped away as he'd sat in the front row staring at a gleaming black box , watching Sebastian-ever the performer- feign grief so believably that something cold and heavy twisted low in Kurt's stomach.
After embracing the widow and offering his condolences with so much sincerity that even Kurt found it convincing, Sebastian had kept Kurt from exiting the graveyard, instructing him to wait a few moments until the widow's limousine had cleared the curve up ahead. Kurt had opened his mouth to ask why when suddenly there had been a loud boom, a flash of light on the road up ahead and a rumble had gone through the ground.
By the time Kurt had dared to look down the road, Mallory's limo and the two cars that had been directly behind it had been fully engulfed in flames. Kurt had fainted when he'd realized that Sebastian was only pretending to be as surprised and horrified as everyone else. He'd woken up at home, cocooned in luxurious bedding, with Sebastian holding his hand and Blaine sitting anxiously in a chair by his side.
"You frightened us love," Sebastian said, gently kissing Kurt on the forehead.
"I frightened you," Kurt repeated hysterically. "You…you…she was pregnant, Bas! There were people in that car with her! How could you? Oh my…the baby…how? How could you?"
Sebastian's grip on Kurt's hand tightened uncomfortably. "You are so naïve. Haven't you figured out that she was a cop too? You realize that they were trying to lock me up, put me in a cage like an animal and take away everything my father worked for? Is that what you want, Kurt? Do you want to see me in a cage, do you want to lose our home, our life? Do you want our daughter to grow up without me? Do you?"
Tears spilled down Kurt's cheek as he shook his head miserably.
"I didn't think so. Now lie back and rest, we'll talk about this later."
They hadn't talked. Kurt had tried time and again to convince Sebastian to let his brother Christian take over and "retire" but Sebastian had shut him down every time, often refusing to even discuss his business with Kurt. After a particularly vicious argument Kurt had run away, taking Nicollette and checking into the Regency under an alias.
Sebastian had him dragged back in less than an hour. Kurt had gone up to the bedroom, hoping that perhaps giving Sebastian time to cool down would curtail any potential fallout from his impulsive flight. He hadn't planned on staying gone; he'd just wanted to do something to force Sebastian's hand and make him talk to him.
Kurt found out just how close to the edge his leaving had pushed his husband when Sebastian had returned and he'd overheard him raging in the living room as Wesley and Jeff tried to calm him down.
"He left me, Wes. He broke his promises, left me and tried to take my kid. If it were anyone else we wouldn't even be talking right now. He betrayed me and you know, you know Wes, what I do to people who betray me."
Bile had risen in Kurt's throat as he'd realized exactly what Sebastian meant, what Sebastian did to those who betrayed him. He'd given a small sob and retreated back into the bedroom, for the first time truly afraid of the man he'd married.
Kurt had spent the next few weeks carefully planning his escape. He hadn't been allowed out without guards so he'd vigilantly observed their schedule and figured out there were roughly ten minutes every afternoon when the shift change was happening that he wasn't covered. He'd then stolen a small amount of cash from the wall safe in the bedroom and used a disposable cell phone he'd snuck into his cart at the grocery store to call a friend of his that used to scalp tickets in the theater district and knew some shady characters. He'd met with Thomas under the guise of going to see a play but had actually been giving the other man payment on a fake ID, social security cards and phony birth certificates for himself and Nicollette. Three days later Thomas had "dropped by" with baby gifts and Kurt's new identity hidden in a teddy bear.
Kurt's heart had been in his throat when he'd decided to leave. Sebastian had left for a business trip and hadn't been due back for another two days. Kurt knew Sebastian wouldn't be calling to check on him until nine that night and he'd hoped no one would discover he was missing until then. He'd told Azimio and Rory that he wasn't feeling well, was getting Nicollete, going to bed and under no circumstances was he to be disturbed. Kurt had then gone up to his room and waited for the shift change. Once he heard the usual chatter from the change over, he'd grabbed his hidden duffle bag from inside his hope chest, gathered Nicollette and snuck down the back staircase. Once he'd made it into the kitchen and out the door without being seen he took the service elevator down to the parking garage and reached the bus stop across the street just before the bus was ready to pull out.
Staring out the window he sighed heavily. Kurt knew that he had taken a massive chance and that if Sebastian ever caught up with him there would be hell to pay. Nicollette stirred, a soft whine escaping her lips as if she were protesting the negative thoughts. "You're worth it, little one," Kurt whispered, as he shushed her. "I know I messed this up but I promise I'll fix it. I won't let you suffer for my mistakes. I'll be the best daddy ever and give you the best life I can. I'll keep you safe from harm. I'll keep you safe from Bas."