Chapter Text
SIMON
Once I get on the subway, I take out my list – my mental list – of everything I love about The Tower Room. It’s a trick I learned from Destiny.1 She says you have to go into the club with a positive attitude, that money won’t follow negative energy.
So this is my pre-work routine: Catch the J train.2 Press play on my pump-up playlist (today, it starts with an old Black Keys song that I’m thinking about adding to my stage routine). And then I review my good things list, one thing at a time, trying to get into the money-magnet mindset. (Amethyst1 would say that takes more than positive thinking – but it’s better than nothing, right? She also says I should listen to affirmations, but every time I try, I feel ridiculous instead of empowered or sexy or whatever. So Bowie and Skynyrd it is.)
▶️ The Black Keys, "Tighten Up" Spotify, YouTube
No. 1–Chicken wings
I think they might be the best chicken wings I’ve ever had in my life. The outside is crisp – almost crunchy – but it gives way to chicken that’s so juicy, it practically melts in your mouth. I have no idea what’s in the sauce, but Amethyst thinks they must use fresh garlic.
When I order them, I always say I’m going to stop before my mouth goes numb, but I never do. These chicken wings own me. I’ve even considered going in on days that I don’t have to work, because I’m just craving them so much.
Nothing else that comes out of the kitchen even comes close to matching them. (Although I guess I can’t speak for the kale salad – I haven’t bothered with that – but the combination of words in the name doesn’t sound promising.)
No. 2–Amethyst
Amethyst is my best friend at The Tower Room – and she’s the one who first convinced me to get on the pole.
I started off working the door. I’m strong, and I’m tough. Bouncer, at a club, that’s the kind of job for a guy like me in this city. I usually worked the late shift, closing shift. The shitty shift, the one that no one else wanted. I’d call cabs to make sure customers got home safe. Broke up a fight once or twice.
Anyway, Amethyst is usually messing around on one of the poles at the end of the night, practicing tricks that aren’t ready for an audience yet. I was sitting at the bar one night, eating a chicken wing, when she called my name.
“Simon!” she yelled. “You should get on the pole!”
“Me?” I pointed at myself like, who, me? This Simon? “I’d probably break it.”
“You will not,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “You probably weigh the same as I do.”
(I do, actually. Weigh the same as Amethyst. Amethyst is stunning – soft and round all over, with smooth brown skin. She’s one of the top earners at the Tower.)
The first time I got up there, I was just doing pull-ups, basically. But it was fun – hanging out in the club at the end of the night with Amethyst, prancing around and learning new moves while she waited for Shep to pick her up.
No. 3–The stage
To be honest, 90 percent of this job is flirting with girls, and I’ve never been the best at that. Some nights I don’t really feel like talking to anyone. But a guy doing pole tricks all night isn’t going to make rent. (I’ve seen Amethyst do it, though – make rent in one night onstage. It was like she’d enchanted those guys…)
I wish I could do that. Once Amethyst got me up there, I was addicted. Being in the air is such a rush – like what I imagine it’d be like to fly. I feel like I’ll never run out of energy when I’m up there. And it’s really nice to hear people cheering for you…
I mean, I’m not the best dancer – I’m not going to win any competitions or anything. Not that I’d enter a fucking pole dancing competition.
Twilight1 does, though. Apparently he holds some kind of title. I heard him telling Destiny in the dressing room. Probably trying to get in her pants.
No. 4–My shoes
You have to understand. I’ve never been the tallest guy in the room. I mean, most people would call me tall, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be one of those guys who tower over six feet…
Amethyst let me try on a pair of her shoes once, early on, and I couldn’t get over how powerful they made me feel. I ordered a pair of my own as soon as I got home.
The Twilight Tease has a good three inches on me, but not when I’m wearing my Pleasers. And he always dances barefoot. He’s such a snob about it, too. I bet he can’t even walk in heels.
(And have I mentioned that he’s British? What’s a British guy doing working in a Brooklyn strip club? Shouldn’t he be filing someone’s taxes or something “sensible” like that?)
No. 5–The dressing room
I felt kind of weird about this one at first. In the beginning, I’d just change in the men’s room. But then Davy chewed me out one day for leaving glitter all over the sinks, and Destiny overheard and told me I should just get ready with everyone else in the dressing room.
It’s a magical place. All those girls transforming before they go out on stage, like something out of a fairy tale. Plus, everyone orders a lot of takeout between stage sets, and they never finish their french fries.
Maybe they should make a separate dressing room now that there’s two of us guys. But then I’d have to share with the Twilight Tease. It would be just me and him, awkwardly moving around the room avoiding eye contact and trying not to bump elbows while he does his eyeliner and I put lashes on. (I never thought I’d wear fake eyelashes. I don’t have to. But Destiny tried them on me one night, and she decided I should never perform without them. “Your real eyelashes are kind of stubby,” she’d said. “Besides, men should be held up to the same beauty standards as the rest of us.”)
No. 6–Davy
Davy is kind of an asshole, actually. But he did give me a chance. (Two chances, actually – first as the door guy, then a chance to audition – a chance to perform.)
I’d been in the city for three weeks, just crashing on my old college roommate’s couch. I’d been applying everywhere I could think of for a job, but I didn’t really have a resume. Or skills. I was on the verge of catching a Greyhound back to Chattanooga.
Then Gareth told me about The Tower Room.
“I DJ there Saturday nights,” he said. “I think they’re looking for a door guy, for during the week.”
They were.
I’m still sleeping on Gareth and Rhys’ couch, but I’m paying them rent now…and soon I’ll have enough saved up to get my own place.
And that’s all thanks to Davy and his club. It’s not one of those cheesy midtown strip clubs, the ones all the Wall Street guys go to. (I mean, we do get some of that – Brooklyn is still New York City – but it’s newer money. Crypto guys. They’re always trying to pay with ethereum, or whatever the fuck it’s called.) (Destiny just laughs at them and points at the ATM.)
The club’s not actually in a tower – it doesn’t even have a tower – it’s two floors of an old, converted warehouse. Davy took some artistic license with the name, I guess.
There’s a lot of different-looking dancers – there’s Destiny, of course, thin as a twig and blonde as a Barbie – but Amethyst is a lot bigger than Destiny, and has kind of a punk-rock style, and she makes at least as much money (if not more). And then there are the parties, which are becoming legendary: there are themes, and strict dress codes, and supposedly once there was a feast that used naked models’ bodies as platters.
And, well, the customers all seem pretty straight to me, but I guess Davy sees an opportunity to expand there, too. At least that’s what Amethyst says, and she’s usually right.
No. 7–Ebb
Ebb is the house mom, and the nicest person at The Tower Room. She keeps an eye on all the girls and makes sure they have what they need. (She calls us her flock.)
I first met her when I worked the door, but we didn’t get a chance to talk much. Now that I’m a dancer, I sometimes come in early just to chat with her in the dressing room. (Okay, yes, fine, also for chicken wings.)
She’s been working at The Tower Room since Davy opened it seven years ago. I guess they’ve known each other since they were young. I don’t think they ever dated or anything – I can’t imagine Davy dating anyone, anyway – but sometimes she’ll tell me about how the two of them used to stay out all night in the 90s, going to basement bars in Alphabet City that don’t exist anymore, hearing bands play before anyone else had even heard of them. I love her stories. They remind me of old movies I used to watch with my mom as a kid, like Desperately Seeking Susan. My mom always wanted to move to the big city, but she never got a chance…I guess I’m trying to live her dream for her. (Although I’m not sure her dream would have included working at a strip club.)
Anyway, Ebb was a dancer, too, back in those days. She says she’s too old for it now, although I don’t think she’s that old. Maybe she just means that shaking your ass for tips night after night isn’t something that anyone wants to do forever. (Amethyst is already starting to talk about her plans for her career after dancing, and she’s only 25, a year younger than me.) (That is, if she was telling me her real age…who knows.)
Ebb’s a great listener, too. Although when I complained to her about Twilight, she just laughed and told me not to worry about him. That she’s sure he’s harmless. Easy for her to say – he’s not her rival.
No. 8–Destiny
Amethyst is the reason I started dancing, but Destiny is one who convinced me to audition for a job as a dancer. I was trying to rescue her, actually. She was chatting with a couple (why do so many of these guys bring their girlfriends with them to the club? Who could avoid comparing themselves with these fantasy women? Even I get self-conscious when I see how pretty Twilight looks with his eyeliner and everything. It makes me feel like I’ll never be good-looking enough.)
Anyway, Destiny was talking up this guy, and his girlfriend was sitting there looking pissed. I was heading out after my door shift, but then I saw them, and Destiny looked like she could really use some back-up. So I stopped by and gave the girlfriend a big smile and an “anything we can do to make your night better, sweetheart?” Turns out she just wanted attention – no wonder. I asked her about her job, her boyfriend bought a round of drinks, and then I ended up looking at pictures of their dog on her phone for twenty minutes. Destiny convinced them to get a VIP room – the one with the spinning pole – as long as I came along, too. We were all a little drunk at that point, and the girlfriend decided she wanted to try to climb the pole. She couldn’t even get her feet off the ground, so she made her boyfriend try, and then Destiny made me try. They were all shocked that I actually knew some moves. I guess Destiny was impressed at how I charmed the girlfriend, too, because when we got out of the room she went on and on about how my talents were wasted working the door. The next day, she made me audition for Davy before my shift.
After that, Destiny and I became good friends. We even went out for drinks a couple times. She’s gorgeous – she’s probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in real life, even without her stage makeup. She has the longest, perfectly straight blonde hair cascading down her back. People turn and look at her on the street, even when she’s just in sweatpants. You feel blessed just being in her presence. Which makes her an amazing stripper, obviously – she barely has to do anything, guys just hand her money with big hearts in their eyes.
When we first started hanging out, I thought I was falling in love with her. I thought I might have found my destiny. (After a while, I figured out that every man who comes in here thinks that.)
It was the night I’d had two too many shots of tequila; I was feeling brave. I laughed at one of her jokes, held eye contact, and leaned in to kiss her.
She literally held her hand up to my face to stop me. (I’ve seen her use that move on a lot of guys by now.) “Simon, I don’t date,” she said. (All the girls still call me by my real name, the ones who knew me back when I still ran the door.)
“No?” I said.
“No.”
“How can someone as gorgeous as you not date?”
“It’s not a requirement.” She tucked a bit of hair behind her ear and gazed at me. “I can do whatever I want. And I just don’t have much interest in romantic relationships.”
I still didn’t get it. “I don’t get it.”
“It’s hard when you know people just like you for your body or the way that you look or whatever.” She took a sip of her drink. “You must know how that is.”
I really don’t.
At first I thought she was trying to let me down easy, but I’ve been working at the club for six months now, and I’ve never seen her with a guy who’s not a client.
Until the Twilight Tease.