Work Text:
It's a late night at G Man Media HQ.
Matthew feels like he's about to drown in paperwork, but at least he has his newly appointed secretary there to help.
His newly appointed secretary whose name he does not know.
Which is horrible. he should really just build up the courage to ask. But that's scary.
He glances at you, before quickly refocusing on his computer screen. He thinks he's been doing a pretty decent job of chipping away at his pile of documents, but the need to look at you keeps interrupting his workflow. He feels a little creepy, but he can't help it. It's the first time he's seen you so.... unguarded. It's only been a few days since you became his personal secretary, but since then you've spent most of your time together, helping him get adjusted to his new CEO position. and yet you always kept a distance, an aloof professionality. It's not that you've ever been rude, in fact you've been incredibly nice, always wearing a helpful smile, but it feels...sterile. He doesn't think he's seen you make a single genuine expression since the day you first met.
Now, however, with your laptop screen illuminating your face in his dark office, you look almost painfully human. You'd been working for hours, too tired to notice your own flat expression. The artificial light paints your face a sickly color, highlighting dark circles and old acne scars. Matthew is aware it's not a flattering look, but finds himself captivated anyway.
He wonders what you're like outside work. Are you cheerful and bubbly? Or are you too drained from your job? Do you have a lot of friends? Do you go partying on the weekends? Or do you stay inside, maybe do some some kind of hobby? Do you have hobbies?? Maybe you have a pet cat? What kind of music do you like? Are your eyes as beautiful in the sunlight as they are in this moment? wait no that's weird-
He carefully glances at you. still complaining engrossed in your work. He should probably be doing the same, but no matter how hard he tries to read his emails his eyes just won't stop drooping. He glances at the clock. Bad idea. It's way too late. All his motivation floods out of him in big wave and he lets out a frustrated groan, hits the computer power button, and starts spinning around in his spinny chair.
Matthew might've continued his dismayed spinning for eternity if he wasn't interrupted by a loud, ugly laugh, even accompanied by some snorting.
Matthew stares at you and you immediately freeze up. He's not entirely sure how to process the warm feeling spreading through his chest, but you clearly take his stunned silence as a bad sign.
"I'm so sorry sir, so sorry. I- I didn't mean to, I'm just really tired and it just slipped out-, I didn't mean to laugh at you-" Matthew snaps out of his stupor and desperately tries thinking of a way of calming you down
"No no no, it's fine! It's completely fine! I just haven't heard you laugh before, I was a bit surprised. Please don't apologize!" you stare back at him, calming down a bit but still visibly flustered. He can practically feel your embarrassment from across the desk. A silence overtakes the room. eventually, you start to settle back into your exhausted haze. Then, of course, Matthew has to ruin the silence.
"is that uh" Matthew lets out what might approximately be described as a cough, maybe, if you were half deaf perhaps "how you normally laugh?"
You're immediately on high alert again and he feels the same embarrassment flood him. He raises his hands in front of himself like that might somehow help the situation. "Sorry sorry, that was weird, wasn't it? That was completely weird and inappropriate and unprofessional and rude-"
You've started eyeing the door and he feels like the weight of the whole G Man Media office building has suddenly landed on him, instantly turning him into fleshy pulp. "sorry I just...I was trying to get to know you better?" and also I think your laugh is unbelievably endearing and I'd really really love to hear it more often. he keeps that part to himself.
Your eyes are locked on the door and there's an uncomfortable silence. for a moment Matthew thinks you're going to make a run for it, but instead, you croak out a reply.
"Why would you want to get to know me." You chew your lip as your eyes snap back to him, voice flat and blunt. Matthew is surprised at the uncharacteristically rude tone. It's nothing like your normal artificial smiles and 'Yes Sirs'. You really shouldn't talk to your boss like that. But Matthew kind of likes it. Well, Other than the part where you look like you're about to get eaten by a wolf.
Matthew starts lowering his hands, sensing that they're probably making him look incredibly stupid "I mean I spend most of the day with you, it feels sorta weird not knowing anything about you. Plus... I'm kind of lonely. I mean Because of being a CEO. I'm definitely not normally lonely. Definitely" Matthew deeply resents how his voice peaks at the lie but continues on "I'm not used to having this much...power, I guess. I've never ordered anyone around like this before! Well, other than my demon Hipster chicks but that's different. I've never been in a position of actual power! It's way too stressful!"
Your body had gradually been relaxing throughout his explanation, and it'd even stopped angling towards the door "Huh, I guess that makes sense- wait, you're demon hipster what?"
Matthew blinks. "my demon hipster chicks? They're part of my mystical magic powerset. They shoot fireballs and stuff."
You look at him incredulously, but at least you'd forgotten to be intimidated by him. He gives an awkward little smile "I'd summon them but right now they're resting. I'll make sure to introduce you to the girls another time ". You nod slowly, processing the new information.
"fireballs, huh..."
You curiously look Matthew over, seemingly re-assessing him "Look, I'm sorry if this is rude, but I've been wanting to ask this for ages. what even made you join a league of evil exes? "
suddenly he felt like eyeing the exit "Well uh, what made you join G Man Media?" A small, barely noticeable smirk graces your face and you lean forward onto the desk. The desk that's the only thing separating you two. "what is this, a job interview? I asked first "
There's a bossy undercurrent to your tone that makes Matthews's stomach do little flips "Well what if I want to ask you stuff as well?"
"Fine, we'll take turns. First question: why'd you join a league of evil exes? Were you all dating the same person or was it just a general evil exes league? If the same person, what were they like? I'm guessing really hot. What does a league of evil exes even do?"
Matthew scrunched his nose up "That is definitely more than one question"
You shrug but don't retract any of the questions.
"I um, I guess I wanted to get back with Ramona? Or at least ruin her chances of happiness with her new guy"
You make a barely concealed face of intense judgment and Matthew suddenly gets very very self-conscious.
"I'm evil okay! it's what I do! And Ramona...she left a very big impression on me. She was my first girlfriend and she completely pulverized my heart. The anger from our breakup really helped me embrace my true evil self during high school. Anyway, one day I saw this embarrassing Craigslist rant about her, Gideon clearly wrote it during a bender, and next thing I knew I was part of a whole league. Our main purpose was to beat up her new boyfriend and stop them from dating, and hopefully maybe possibly end up with her instead of the scumbag. I punched him to death, then I nearly punched Gideon to death, and now the league's mostly dissolved and I've won Gideon's whole empire. No Ramona though" Matthew finished off his explanation with a little shrug.
Your eyebrows go up and you let out a low whistle "damn, I guess I'm glad my ex would rather choke than get back with me" You let out a small laugh, but it's clearly strained.
"Alright, my turn now. Why would your ex rather choke? uh, if you're comfortable talking about it" Maybe not the most sensitive question, but Matthew felt like being a nosey bitch. You make a pained expression but don't protest the question.
"I mean, our relationship was such a trainwreck I'd be surprised if she could even look at my face without gagging. to begin with, we just generally had different outlooks on life. she was a Business Management major, I was doing Business Administration-"
"Wait aren't those the exact same thing-"
"-She was clingy, craved attention like it was air. I was too busy meeting academic expectations to give it to her, but for some reason that just made her even more attached. I'd try to study, she'd try to hang out or make out or whatever, I'd make fun of her for wanting to actually spend time with the person she was dating, she'd get mad. repeat cycle But somehow we managed to make it a full year, and then we moved in together, that's when it hit a boiling point. Bickering stopped being a quirky thing we did before making out, it just started being our daily existence. we both hated it." You pause, looking like you wished for nothing more than to curl into a ball "She hated my cigs. I hated how she nagged. The day before a big exam she told me off for smoking inside the flat, I called her a clingy attention whore and some other stuff I really shouldn't have. She packed all her stuff and left. The end."
Matthew cringes back into his seat "That's...wow. I'm really sorry for bringing it up"
You shrug "Eh, it all happened a few years ago now and I've come to terms with what a massive jerkwod I was. I've tried going out a few times since, but nothing I'd call actually dating. Kinda funny,I was too busy in high school, I was too busy in college, and now I'm still too busy to maintain a relationship. I guess some things just never change"
Matthew doesn't really have anything to contribute so he just nods awkwardly. You don't seem to mind
"So, since we're sharing uncomfortable romance histories, how'd you and this Ramona get together?"
Matthew was seriously regretting this evening.
"Well...it all started in seventh grade..."
Matthew proceeds to explain his first-ever relationship. His and Ramona's first meeting, their defeat of The Jocks, the eventual fallout, and his move far far away. He feels like just a few days earlier he would've waxed some sort of poetic about how her cheap cigarettes smelled or the color of her hair, but ever since the Scott incident some of the lingering feelings have...well, stopped lingering. Still, it's painfully nostalgic. He finishes his story with a pathetic little sigh and looks at his secretary. You have an unreadable expression on your face
"So, wait, is this Romana girl white?" Matthew nods, a bit confused
"And half the reason she even dated you was... Because you were the only non-white kid in the area? That's super messed up. Like no offense but why would you want to get back together with someone who was essentially only dating you 'cause it was edgy to date a brown kid back in middle school?"
Matthew shifts uncomfortably. He is really really not enjoying this conversation.
"I- it wasn't like that. That wasn't the only reason she-she also needed my mystical powers-... I mean it still suck, like really suck, being spat out like old gum, but we were just kids you know? And being the only brown kid in the whole town was...not amazing. So maybe I did got a bit too overzealous about a pretty girl choosing me over all the buff white guys. She was just-"
Matthew finds himself suddenly very interested in not meeting your eyes "...She was just so cool, and I always felt like the reason she left me was cause I wasn't. I guess getting back with her felt like some kind of end goal, a way to prove myself somehow. That being a non-white non-jock wasn't some kind of death sentence. "
When he finally looks at you again, you're chewing your lip.
"...Mr. Patel. that fucking sucks. I'm sorry she did that to you. You deserve to be with someone who actually likes you, who isn't just using you for your mystical powers or because they want to be edgy" Matthew is taken aback. he's not really sure how to feel. anger at being pitied? relief someone acknowledging how much she hurt him? for now he decides to go with the latter.
"Thank you-" he winces, remembering he still has no clue what your name is "...Thank you"
"mhm," you nod, acknowledging his words, before moving on with the conversation like Matthew hadn't just spilled his guts out in front of you "So, any more invasive questions you want to ask me?"
Matthew's mind goes blank. He briefly considers just asking for your name but decides he's not quite ready to embarrass himself like that "...uhh, you smoke?"
"Nah, I quit after Khin Yu dumped me" You bite your bottom lip again, somewhat reluctantly adding "...A lot of my relatives smoked indoors growing up, so it felt normal. reminded me of home. I started pretty young to deal with academic pressure. Pa wanted me to have a good future, Ma was copying the way her parents raised her, it was all very stressful"
You cross your arms over yourself. Matthew nods a bit, surprised to hear himself saying "I was the middle kid growing up so my parents were more focused on my sibling's grades than mine, but I saw how hard it was on my brother and sister"
"Middle child? Rough. But yeah, as much as smoking helped with stress it really upset Khin Yu; she hated the smell, said it reminded her of her deadbeat dad. It wasn't the main reason for the breakup but it was a big enough contributing factor that I decided smoking just wasn't worth wrecking my relationships" You don't quite look upset, but there's something far away in your expression. In a lapse of self-control, Matthew stretches out his foot and bumps it against your ankle. You startle a bit, but thankfully don't look uncomfortable. In fact, you flash him a private little smile. He feels like he might melt on the spot.
The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a while, until finally you break it.
"Right, I'm getting kinda sick of the serious questions but I have got to know the answer to this one. What made you turn evil?"
Mathew blinks.
"huh? Puberty I guess? I don't know, I used mine and Ramona's breakup as additional fuel but it wasn't the reason I was evil. it's just my passion."
You snort loudly, looking much less embarrassed than you had earlier this evening "What, no tragic backstory? Seriously? You were just born emo?"
"Hey! Me being emo has nothing to do with being evil!"
You raised your hands in mock defense "Pfft, okay sorry! My bad for assuming being evil had anything to do with the eyeliner! Wait-"
You suddenly lean closer "What was your job before this? Being evil obviously didn't pay the bills. Did you work at Hot Topic? I bet you worked at Hot Topic "
You have an annoyingly smug grin on your face. Matthew thinks it suits you. Unfortunately, he can only return a pained winced "...no. they kept rejecting my applications. Also, I was banned from every Hot Topic in the state after I tried to pull a mass heist in sophomore year. before the CEO thing I was uh, I was a telephone sales representative"
You have to bury your face in your hands to smother your giggles "oh my god, seriously?" Despite his deep embarrassment, your laughter is infectious and he starts to join in.
Once you've both calmed down, you rest your head on the desk, nestled in your arms "So what was telemarketing like-"
"Fucking Miserable"
Matthew slaps a hand over his mouth. the sudden surge of emotion had made his Indian accent slip out. for a moment all the memories of his middle school bullies flash through his mind, but when he looks at you he's relieved to see you're just waiting for him to continue. so he does.
The conversation flows easily and you chat for what feels like hours.
°°°
"Woah, you were a theatre major?" You're both packing up your stuff. At some point, the clock hit 1 AM and neither of you really feel like sleeping in the office. Matthew puts his newly fitted black suit jacket back on (he doesn't even remember taking it off) "Yeah, I actually did a one-man show for my final year. I can show you the recording sometimes?"
You grin "I'd love that Mr. Patel"
Matthew nearly trips on air. You've called him that plenty of times before, it's your go-to, but for some reason, this time makes his heart do flips. you continue on, not noticing anything amiss "I actually did theatre tech in high school. My parents never really got it, but I liked the problem-solving aspect, and once I'd been there long enough I got to start bossing people around, which was great"
Matthew raised his eyebrows "Bossing people around?"
You scratched your head awkwardly "Yeah, I guess I like giving orders, having control, y'know all that jazz"
Matthew deeply resented his brain for supplying him with mental images that were definitely inappropriate to have about his secretary, but he powered on "So uh, if you're into theatre what's your favorite Musical?"
"Hmm? Oh, I've never actually seen one" You'd both started making your way to the elevator at the end of the hall, but Matthew stopped dead in his tracks "The drama teacher really hated them so we only did normal plays, and I mostly left theatre behind after high school. Didn't have the time or the money- hey is something wrong? Why'd you stop-"
Matthew grabs your shoulders and starts shaking "You've never seen a musical? Never? Not even The Sound of Music?" The shock and horror on Matthews's face is visceral and you're more than a little alarmed
"Uh, no sir, I haven't" Matthew lets your shoulders go with a pained wail "This can't be!"
"Dude, er, Mr. Patel, if it bothers you that much why don't you just buy me a ticket for one" Your tone is clearly teasing but Matthew takes it deadly seriously. He strikes a dramatic pose, finger pointing towards the ceiling "You're right! That's a spectacular idea! There's a small independent theatre production of The Rocky Horror Show happening tomorrow evening, and you're going with me! "
You barely have time to process Matthews's declaration before he's shepherding you to the elevator, not even paying attention to how his hand rests on the small of your back.
"heh? Wait seriously? Together?? Like, like a d-" you cut yourself off, making strangled-sounding noises in the back of your throat.
A few moments later you're standing at the doors to the building, both deep in thought, Neither quite ready to leave, when Matthew suddenly breaks the silence, "So, this is going to sound awful, but I never actually learned your name. I feel like I should know your name."
You look up at him, still somewhat dazed "Huh? What? you don't know my name?"
You look...confused, disbelieving, but not necessarily angry. Matthew gives a nervous little shrug. "Why didn't you just check my employee file? I know you have it"
Matthew feels sweat trickle down the back of his neck
"It...it didn't occur to me"
"Oh my god"
you drag your hand over your face. Matthew begins to feel icy tendrils of panic curling around his gut, but the sound of giggles seeping through your fingers snaps him out of it.
And then, and then, though it's a bit hard to hear through your laughter, you tell him your name.
He thinks he might combust on the spot.
You remove the hands from your face and grin at him. He opens his mouth, he doesn't even know what he's planning to say when suddenly there's a loud ping. You dig out your phone and squint at the screen. "oh it's Bill from finance. He's bitching about some movie going over budget in the first two days of production"
Matthew starts reaching for the exit door "Really? What's the movie?"
You squints at your phone "Uh, something called Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life? That's kinda a weird name-"
You jump at the sound of Matthew Patel smashing his head into the door
"Um, Sorry, Sorry. Could you send me a copy of the script? Please" his voice sounds like someone holding him at gunpoint but you nod anyway. carefully, you reach around Matthew and open the door "Sure thing Mr. Patel, just please don't get a concussion"
His gaze flicks at you nervously "Actually, if it's alright, could you just call me Matthew?"
°°°
Fuck fuck fuck. it's the next day and you're at your desk. You've been desperately trying to get some work done, any work done, but your mind just keeps replaying last night's events. You'd suspect you hallucinated the whole thing in some kind of exhausted fever dream if you hadn't received an email from Mr Patel- from Matthew Patel with the ticket and show information for a production of The Rocky Horror Show. Tonight. What are you even going to wear?? Or do you just wear your office clothes?? Ugh!
In an attempt to distract yourself, you try to organize your schedule for the next few days. unfortunately, that mostly involves organizing Matthew Patel's schedule, so you're back at square one.
Matthew...Matthwew..ughhhhh. it felt so weird just calling him Matthew, your brain still kept auto-correcting to Matthew Patel or Sir or Boss or anything else. But he'd asked you to call him Matthew, so you'd get there eventually. He'd asked you to call him that. And that made you feel....you liked how that made feel.
You just...You still aren't fully sure why he's trying so hard to get to know you. Maybe you should be creeped out. If Gideon had tried to do this you'd definitely be creeped out, especially after seeing his room of cryogenically frozen exes that one time, but with Matthew Patel you're just...you're definitely very insecure, but also giddy. Excited even. Maybe eating some food will calm you down.
You're just about to go take your lunch break when none other than Matthew Patel himself slams open the door. "Matth-?"
"Have you read the script?!?" You try not to stumble as he grabs your arm and starts dragging you to... you're not actually sure where he's dragging you to "huh? What? The Scotch whatever one?"
"It's liable! Disgraceful liable!" Matthews's head looks like it's going to blow right off his shoulders "It's about what would've happened if Scott beat me! Beat me!! I won that fight fair and square! I punched that creep to death! Did you know he was dating a high schooler? At the same time as Ramona!? We need to shut this down immediately!"
A sudden, embarrassing swell of fondness rolls over you. Guess you're not getting your lunch break. "I'll tell the helicopter pilot to prepare for Toronto immediately"
°°°
"Scott Pilgrim is...alive... he's alive." You've both just stepped out of the helicopter after arriving back to New York. It was still light out when you'd started your flight back from Canada, but now it was completely dark. Matthew Patel is somewhat dazed and you're finishing up an email to Stephen Stills and Knives Chau, confirming their meeting with Matthew Patel.
"Yeah, that was really unexpected. Hey by the way, when you said your ex was hot, I didn't realize you meant hot hot" Matthew Patel gives you the saddest, wettest pout you've ever seen on a man and you don't even bother smothering your laughter "Don't worry, I'm not planning on becoming the newest member of the evil exes club"
"League" he's trying his best to look put upon, but you can see he's fighting a grin.
You pocket your phone and lean over to him, hoping the fake bravado hides your anxiety "Soooo, any plans tonight boss?"
He looks confused for a moment before the light bulb goes off in his head
"Oh my god. Rocky Horror" He scrambles for his phone, nearly dropping it a few times times but eventually succeeding in turning the electronic on.
"We have, uhhh, okay we still have time before the show starts. You can't go to your first musical in your work clothes, so if we hurry we should have time to swing by your place and get you a change of clothes. What's your address? I'll send it to the driver- that's if you want to change. It's totally okay if you just go in your uniform - um, that's if you still want to go see the show - with me- um, it's totally okay if you don't -" he's rambling, which seems extremely embarrassing for him, and running his hands through his long, kinda greasy hair. You don't even try to deny how cute you find it.
"Brooklyn. I live in Brooklyn"
In a surge of unexpected confidence you grab his hand, causing him to freeze in place .
"And yeah, I'd love to go watch Rocky Horror with you Matthew"