Chapter Text
“How many times do I have to tell you this Zach? I’m not doing it anymore. I’m done.”
“So you’re gonna be in Florida for like four days over Thanksgiving and you won’t see me at all? Come on Frankie, we always find time to be together when you’re in town.” Zach whined. “I miss you.”
“I don’t want to sneak around anymore. You wanna go out on a date with me? Fine. I’ll take you to a romantic dinner in Boca, hold your hand over the table, and make googly eyes at you over candlelight and an expensive bottle of wine. But if you want to come to my house at some ungodly hour, making sure no one sees you, just so you can get laid, well, I’m not playing that game anymore.”
Frankie was laying on his bed in Los Angeles, his arm thrown over his face, sighing in frustration. He was over it. It had been like this with Zach for over a year. They weren’t in any type of committed relationship. They did their own thing most of the time but when and if they were in the same town they always hooked up. Their physical chemistry was off the charts and they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.
Truth is that had always been the case. In the Big Brother house, they rolled around on beds and sofas together, held hands in front of their housemates, scratched each others’ backs till they fell asleep, entangled their legs and surreptitiously pushed their bodies together under blankets and comforters hidden from the cameras. In jury they were inseparable from the moment Frankie walked in, sharing their first real kiss alone in a bed together where they held each other, caressed, and made out all night long.
And then suddenly they were in the real world with no more cameras, but something far worse as far as Zach was concerned. The whole world it seemed wanted to know just what Zankie was.
Zach was overwhelmed by both his popularity and all the questions about Zankie, not to mention his family and friends' confusion about his behavior with Frankie over the summer. He was scared and firmly implanted deep in the closet. Of course he was straight, he assured everyone. He would do anything to win a half a million dollars. You know, Frankie was really touchy feely. Any girls who want to go to Germany should DM their applications.
But truthfully he couldn’t wait to see Frankie for the first time. Their Starbucks date ended with Frankie giving Zach the most amazing blowjob he’d ever had in the back seat of the car in an isolated corner of a parking lot. When Zach’s parents wouldn’t let him go to Orlando later that week, Zach was devastated and Frankie was pissed. Seeing Frankie’s posts with that douchebag Michael confirmed that he had found companionship elsewhere which left Zach distraught. But everything was good by the end of October and they finally had sex for the first time on Zankieween.
The next month was Frankie’s Rock of Ages opening night, and Frankie was all over Zach the moment they were back at his apartment. But instead of pushing him away with all those people around, Zach enthusiastically kissed him back and held him tight. There was an implicit understanding that while Zach was very openly NOT straight in front of Frankie’s friends and their Big Brother friends, the nature of their relationship was private and not to be shared with fans or even with the people in Zach’s life in Florida. Besides, it was casual. It was sex. It was an insane attraction that the boys just enjoyed when they were together and tried not to worry about defining when they were apart.
And that was their pattern. When they could work it out, they would find a way to see each other. Sometimes their fans knew about it, more often than not they didn’t. The chemistry that manifested on the feeds was real. When they were together, they were inextricably drawn to each other. But when they were apart, they did their own thing.
It had actually worked pretty well for Frankie. He was busy. His career was his top priority and he was taking every opportunity he possibly could to keep building it. Zach on the other hand seemed to burn every single bridge he came to, making misstep after misstep, sometimes of his own volition but often because of choices influenced by his family, friends and “management.” It was hard to watch, and much of his and the Zankie fandom soon turned on him.
And so here they were, a year plus later. Zach was feeling desperate and despondent at Frankie’s refusal to see him. Yeah sure, Frankie didn’t owe him anything but – fuck – he was going to be in Florida for almost a week. Why wouldn’t he take part of at least one day if not more to see Zach? Suddenly he was angry. Bordering on enraged.
“You just want me to throw my life into shambles by coming out so you don’t have to be ashamed of fucking a closeted guy. It’s all about you!” Zach shouted.
“What are you TALKING about?” Frankie replied angrily.
“What if I did come out Frankie? Than what?”
“Well…” Frankie replied, “Then you could you live your truth for a fucking change. And we wouldn’t have to worry so much about people seeing us together or knowing that we are more than just friends. We could date publicly.”
“We could date publicly?” Zach replied. “You make me sound like some dude you met on Tinder. Or I guess it’s grindr isn’t it? Just some guy to date and to fuck. But openly so you don’t have to be ashamed of being with me. That’s all it would be, right?”
“Well… I mean, Zach you live in Florida. I travel all over the country and the world. I usually don’t stay in one place for more than a few days. I’m busy. I’m working harder than I ever have in my life. So am I going to be able to settle into some quiet domestic routine? No of course not.”
“Okay,” Zach countered. “So let me get this straight. You won’t see me anymore because I’m not out publicly. You’ve given me an ultimatum to come out or that’s it. But if and when I do come out, we will be exactly as we are now – friends with benefits. Except everyone will know about it.
“So basically you want me to throw my life into a complete upheaval and face the wrath of my family who can’t deal with me not being straight, my friends most of whom are fucking homophobes, and the fans who will never let me hear the end of it that I’ve been lying to them all these months. But hey – YOU’LL be able to fuck me openly now – you know, when you can work me into your busy busy schedule.”
Frankie was silent. He hadn’t thought of it that way. But what did Zach expect? Did he think Frankie was going to move to Florida and teach dance or something while he and Zach had a little romance? That type of life wasn’t in the cards for Frankie Grande, at least not now and maybe not ever.
“Look Zach,” Frankie said calmly, “Come out or don’t – that’s up to you. I’m just saying that if you’re out, then we can see each other openly when we’re in the same town; we won’t have to hide and we’ll just have fun. The truth is I can’t really promise more than that. It’s how my life is right now.”
“Okay.” Zach replied sarcastically. “Well thanks for letting me know exactly how your life is. I appreciate your honesty. The thing is I actually have been thinking about coming out because I’m kind of in love with you and it is just too hard to pretend to be dating girls and to keep insisting that you and I are just close friends. But while you and I might be the same sexually, we apparently don’t want the same thing at all. I want a relationship. I want to be in love and be loved. Maybe I’ll try to meet someone here who wants what I want.”
"So wait,” said Frankie confusedly, “You’re just gonna keep dating south Florida girls and hope that you can actually be happy with one of them even if you’re not into women?"
“No of course not.” Zach replied. “I’m gay. I need to face it and stop running away from it. You know what? I think I am going to come out to my family sometime before Thanksgiving. I will tell some of my close friends too but that’s it at this point. I don’t think I need to post it on Twitter or anything. And then I’m going to date men. I am going to actively look to meet and date men.”
“No you’re not,” Frankie laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Zach retorted. “I’ve never been more fucking serious in my life. But don’t worry Frankie, I probably won’t fall in love right away, just get some more experience with men. So hey, if you’re in town and want to take me out for that fancy dinner then hook up, maybe we can do that. But no pressure. I know how busy and driven you are. So you do you. Goodbye Frankie. Happy Thanksgiving.”
Frankie stared at his phone in disbelief. What had just happened? Would Zach really come out? And start dating men? Other men besides him? Knowing Zach was with women, even seeing him pretend to be in an actual romance with Bruna never bothered Frankie. He knew it was all for show and he actually found it sort of amusing because Zach clearly had no game with women. But Zach as an out gay man, meeting men online or in bars and dating them? Having sex with them? Frankie didn’t know how he felt about that but it wasn’t great, that’s for sure.