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Wylan was in his own little world. It was something he always did when he broke down, he made himself as small as possible in some dark corner, and as tears ran down his face, his mind would drift off. With his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms crossed atop his knees, he kept his face buried in the fabric of his jacket sleeves as he pulled his knees closer in an attempt to shield his broken heart.
Stupid. So, so stupid.
And he was. Jesper was probably above deck chatting away with Kuwei or getting debriefed by Kaz. With a start, Wylan realized he missed the meeting he was supposed to get Jesper for, and he would have to ask Nina or Kaz about it later.
You're such a burden. If you weren't here, Jesper and Kuwei could've been together long before the kiss. But no, he's stuck in a relationship with someone as useless as you. No wonder he cheated.
"Shut up..." Wylan whispered to himself, scooting further into the corner.
What, you can't handle the truth? You're dad was right about you, you're a defective, worthless, loathsome bother who can't take care of himself.
"No...n-no, I'm n-not..." Wylan mumbled, his fingernails digging into the sides of his arms.
Yes you are, and this whole world would be better if you just died. You should have let Migson and Prior choke you on that ship, then you wouldn't have ruined Jesper's life.
"Th-That's not true...I-I didn't r-ruin his life...?" Wylan muttered, drawing his knees impossibly closer to him.
Of course you did, you ruin everything. Relationships, lives, even things you touch. I bet everyone would be happy if you just killed yourse-
"Wy, love?"
Oh look, you're going insane now. Jesper wouldn't be here, he doesn't want to be near a meaningless and stupid person like you.
"Wy? Can you hear me?"
So pathetic. You have to imagine someone to comfort you, you can't even do it on your own? Laughable.
"Wylan?!"
He's not here you idio-
Two warms hands on his shaking shoulders snapped him out of it and Wylan flinched at the touch, immediately shoving the person- Jesper-away. With his arms no longer crossed atop his knees, Wylan looked up at Jesper in time to see the hurt expression flash across his face before concern settled in instead.
"Wy, you had me worried for a bit..." Jesper murmured, his hands now tapping on his knees as he sat about a foot away from Wylan.
Wylan just stared at him through red puffy eyes, his face a poker face he had learned from Kaz, before speaking. "Okay...what are you doing here?"
"Well, I...I wanted to check up on you?" The way Jesper phrased it made it seem like more of a question than a sure answer, and when Wylan voiced that thought, Jesper sheepishly smiled and apologized.
Shaking his head slightly at the apology- he may be upset but he won't let Jesper blame himself for something he did accidentally- Wylan brought his arms closer to himself and wrapped them around his knees, which were still pulled up to his chest.
"So, uh, why are you crying...?" Jesper asked, as though it wasn't blatantly obvious.
Wylan gave him an incredulous and semi-angry look before spitting out, "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I walked in on my boyfriend as he was kissing someone else, thus proving to me that I was right: I'll never be enough for him, no matter how hard I try! On top of that, I just spent Ghezen knows how long having an emotional breakdown as a voice in my head called me a pathetic burden who can't do something a seven-year-old can do, which is true by the way, as well as telling me my father was right about how no one would ever love me and that I deserved the way he treated me! All the while I'm missing a meeting, which Kaz will probably murder me for, because I can't pull myslef together! And the cause of all this?! Seeing the man I'm fucking in love with cheating on me! So, sorry for crying, you can go on your merry way back to Kuwei now."
When Wylan finished his rant, he was tired. He just wanted to go above deck and fall into the first hammock he saw, go to sleep, and never wake up again.
Before he could go try and do that, however, strong arms pulled him into a hug. As much as he wanted to fight the arms off him and escape the hug, he was exhausted and the hug felt so safe, so he instead melted into the embrace and blinked the new tears out of his eyes.
"Wy, I am so sorry. I never meant to cheat on you, I swear, I had just gotten into a tiff with my Da and didn't notice that it wasn't you. I swear on every Saint out there, cheating wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry. I love you too, sunshine." Jesper explained as he held Wylan close, one hand cupping Wylan's back while the other cradled his head and ran fingers through his hair.
Upon hearing Jesper's explanation, Wylan started bawling again, shattering into millions of pieces. This time, though, Jesper was there to put him back together, the sharp edges of Wylan's broken pieces not affecting him in the slightest. Jesper tightened his hold on Wylan, which helped ground Wylan, who let Jesper be his rock. He copied Jesper's breathing, calming himself down enough to say, "I'm not happy you couldn't tell us apart, b-but I do forgive you. I...I thought you d-didn't want me a-anymore."
"Oh, Wy, no...no, love, I will always want and need you." Jesper was quick to reassure him, which Wylan appreciated, and Wylan hummed to show his understanding.
The two stayed like that for some time, comfortable in the position, until Nina found them and summarized what had happened during the meeting.