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Ronan had been watching Adam, of course he had, he found him fascinating. Adam was sitting at a desk beside Gansey studying when Blue arrived, marching into Monmouth as though she owned the place. She beelined for Gansey, barely casting a glance in Ronan’s direction as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s shoulders, brushing the top of Adam’s arm in the process. Adam stiffened at the unexpected touch. He shuffled over in his chair a little, creating space between himself and Blue and Granny. He took a quiet, deep breath, shaking his head the tiniest amount. Ronan could practically hear the dressing down Adam was giving himself in his head at the reaction he’d had. Ronan watched him stare at the textbook in front of him, knowing full well that none of the information was going in.
“Parrish?” Adam’s head immediately turned at the sound of Ronan’s voice. “Come pick up the pizza with me.” For a second, Adam debated turning down the offer but he knew Gansey and Blue hadn’t seen each other for a few days and we probably desperate to spend ten minutes making out now that it wasn’t going to end in their demise.
“You alright?” Ronan asked as they jogged down the stairs. Adam sent him a false smile.
“Course.”
The pizza wasn’t ready. Ronan leant against the BMW looking up to the cloudless blue sky. Adam stood beside him, a few inches separating them. Slowly, Adam let his head rest on Ronan’s shoulder. The breath of his sigh tumbled down Ronan’s arm.
“Still alright?” Ronan asked. Adam didn’t answer. One of the takeout employees stuck their head out of the door and waved at Ronan. Adam lifted his head up and allowed Ronan to collect the pizza.
The pizza was consumed in the blink of an eye. Ronan couldn’t help noticing Adam tense anytime his exposed skin brushed against someone else.
“Want to head into my room?” He asked Adam.
“Sure.” Adam smiled, Blue hooted and began to tease them.
“No hanky panky while we’re in the next room.” She laughed.
“I’ll make sure to be extra loud, just for you.” Ronan smirked. He enjoyed the cringe his words had evoked, even if Blue had started it.
“Don’t ask me again,” Adam said as Ronan clicked the door shut. Ronan held his hands up.
“Wasn’t going to, I know the answer.” He replied. Adam rolled his eyes and dropped himself onto the bed, shuffling over to the far side. “Can I sit too?” Adam nodded and Ronan softly sat on the opposite edge of the bed.
“This is fucking stupid.” Adam huffed, pulling his knees up to his chest. “It’s Blue, and Gansey…and you.” His hands went into his hair.
“What do you need?”
“To not be fucked up in the head.” Adam snapped, mumbling an apology half a breath later. Ronan shuffled a little closer to Adam.
“This okay?” He checked, Adam nodded his head slowly. A squawk made both boys jump as Chainsaw flew in through the open window. She circled the room before landing on Adam’s knee. He stroked the top of her head softly with one finger.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be touched, it just makes me want to pull my skin off eighty-five percent of the time. In fact, I’d really like a hug, but today, I just don’t think I can.” Adam’s eyes became watery until he blinked the tears away. Ronan cleared his throat.
“I looked up some stuff on the internet, and some people find it easier if there’s a barrier between them and the person they’re touching, y’know like fabric or something. Do you think that could help?”
“You looked it up? But we’ve never talked about it before.” Adam was surprised. A feint blush coloured Ronan’s pale Irish cheeks for a second.
“I’m not completely dense, Parrish.” His remark had no bite.
“God, that’s so gay.” Adam let out a laugh that pulled at Ronan’s heart. Ronan moved to push him but thought better of it at the last minute. He grabbed a blanket from the end of the bed and laid down. He covered one half of his body with the blanket. Adam watched him.
“Ronan, its twenty five degrees in here, you can’t be covered in a blanket, you’ll melt.”
“Bitch, do you want a hug or not? If you lay on me, you can control, if and when you get up or move away.”
Adam took in the sight of his boyfriend. Black ripped skinny jeans, black vest top, tattoo peaking over his shoulder, cold yet somehow soft eyes and a blue fleece blanket covering one side of him, just to see whether Adam could stand to be touched by someone long enough to enjoy a hug. Slowly, he lowered himself and rested his head on Ronan’s shoulder. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t make him entirely uncomfortable. Instead feint unease hovered in his belly like the very first hints of anxiety. It was only a few minutes until Adam shifted himself over onto a pillow instead, Ronan screwed the blanket into a ball and tossed it to the end of the bed.
“Thank you.” Adam smiled.
“Anytime.”Ronan promised