Chapter Text
Winter season seemed to be following Mingi. Since the last summer had heated up in South Korea, there had always been agendas that required him to visit countries that were covered in snow. And now, when it was winter season in Korea, there was almost no productive reason for him to travel outside the continent–to avoid the ongoing season in this country.
Of course, technology has advanced. For the matter of the stinging cold, he could warm himself up at home–or in the studio and homes of close relatives–all day, all night, or for as long as he wanted. But when he had to go out like this was what the August-born man didn't like.
A black shoulder bag with light brown fur trim was slung over Mingi's shoulder. He took careful steps with his thick winter-booted feet on the slippery snow-covered road. He headed towards the silver Genesis G90, a car he almost failed to find due to the snow covering almost everything on the road. Even with the help of this vehicle's call-back alarm, his senses found it difficult to detect the location of his private car from the front door of this hospital.
Once inside the car, Mingi immediately took off his black beanie. He rolled down the window to clean his beanie of snowflakes—before it melted and soaked his hat—then closed the window again. After taking off his gloves, he tidied his now all-black short hair. He lifted the small lever behind the steering wheel to turn on the windshield wiper to clean the front glass from the pile of snow.
Indeed, Mingi only had to dealt with the cold outside for a brief moments. But still, there were still many unpleasant things about this season that he had to face.
Diverting his mind from the inevitable difficulties, Mingi faced another thing that he also hoped could be avoided.
From his sling bag, Mingi opened the document’s envelope. It was some paper and a smaller envelope. The content was a black and white photographic paper with a significant object in the middle.
Mingi kept staring attentively at every white spot on its black background. As if the significant object in the middle could dissolve into the surrounding white, leaving empty black in the middle. As if he hadn't witnessed the small movements of the graphic snaps of that object directly on the monitor screen earlier.
Mingi didn't want to believe in all the earlier conversations with the Doctor.
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FLASHBACK
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“All the complaints you mentioned are symptoms of pregnancy. Plus, if it's positive on several test packs like that, Congratulations, Mr. Song! You are officially pregnant.” behind the glass panel, the female doctor stated clearly and cheerfully, smiling sincerely at the end of the sentence.
“W-what?” Mingi was surprised and felt unfamiliar with the previous statement. It was as if this was the first time he had come to a clinic like this, with no idea of what would happen.
“Based on your data and the results of the assessment, the pregnancy is estimated to be more than 12 weeks old. To be certain of the age and check the health of the fetus, it's best to have an ultrasound scan now.”
Mingi shook his head, cutting off the doctor's sentence. “No, I mean... Isn't this impossible? Two yea—Four years ago, my husband and I had tried but failed after two years... At that time, nothing was wrong, and the results were still...”
As Mingi explained, the Doctor just watched carefully and nodded in understanding at each sentence.
Until Mingi ran out of words, she confirmed. “Indeed, things like that can happen. There are many cases where couples are finally blessed with offspring after they have stopped trying so hard.”
“It's better to just have an ultrasound scan straight away. You'll see the living proof yourself, Mr. Song” the Doctor added.
Mingi was anxious as he held his white T-shirt above his abdomen. Lying on the examination bed, as his body was asked to turn sideways while the square device slid over his transparent gel-coated belly, he hoped an hour would pass with nil results. On the contrary, in less than 20 minutes, the doctor cheerfully notified him.
Mingi could hardly believe his eyes when he saw the shape of a baby on the black-and-white monitor screen.
Just how far has that thing grown?
The doctor diligently explained each part and completeness of the object's body on the monitor to Mingi. She kept congratulating him on the health and normality of the fetus. And what did the doctor say? 14 weeks?! Oh…
Perhaps other parents with Mingi's place should feel grateful. However, he could not hold back his gloominess. So much so that the doctor noticed it when they faced each other again at the consultation table.
“This may feel hard, especially for the one who conceives the child like you do, Mr. Song. But it would be better to tell your husband about this first.” After speaking gently, the doctor pointed to the tissue box in front of Mingi with her palm.
Mingi gripped the edge of his knitted cardigan anxiously, then swallowed his saliva.
“Doctor... When is the best time if I want to... uh… if I don't want this baby?” Mingi still asked, although he already knew that 14 weeks meant a lot had developed—including the central nervous system of the poor little thing.
The doctor looked concerned. “Mr. Song, you may want to discuss this with the father of this child first.”
“Of course, he's my husband! I just don't... I...”
The doctor nodded in understanding. “Sorry to have offended you. Once again, sorry if I'm being presumptuous. However, please keep in mind that a blessing like this does not come to just any parents that easily. Moreover, you are more than just capable of raising your child, Mr. Song. Both physically and in other factors.”
Of course. With the information about his income, Mingi looked very competent to be a parent. With an empty stare, he got up from his seat, then turned and headed to the door.
“Mr. Song!” The doctor got up from her position and stopped Mingi. “Please reconsider when your mind is calm.” She handed out brochures about pregnancy—which contents had not been explained yet—along with a thick pocket-sized paper. “If you need someone to talk to, maybe this acquaintance of mine can help.”
Mingi took a quick look at the business card with some kind of foundation logo on it, before putting it in his jeans pocket.
“Thank you for your advice, Doctor.” Mingi hurried out of the room.
“Please take care of your health, Mr. Song.”
FLASHBACK END
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One of the main reasons why Yunho and Mingi chose to get officially married was none other than Mingi's potential to get pregnant. If they had offspring, they needed to get married to ensure their future child's identity.
Not many men have the potential like Mingi. Even those blessed with characteristics allowing for pregnancy do not all succeed in conceiving, even though their wombs have often been fertilized.
Knowing that fact, the two young couples were unrelenting in that possibility. The first two years of their marriage were focused on trying to have offspring together. However, after trying quite far with all conventional methods, they began to let go of that hope.
It seemed that intensive efforts involving a lot of modern medical technology were too expensive for them. It would be better if the funds were channeled as additional business capital and investment assets. They thought, what's the point of having children if they are not financially secure?
Sadly, the abandoned hope seemed to take away the closeness of the emotional bond between them too. Even so, they agreed to stay together in the ark of marriage. Ironically, that choice tended to be for the business empire they had built together, in addition to the close harmony between the two families and colleagues.
Even worse, amid togetherness full of detachment, about a year after the failed attempt, the couples had agreed to an 'agreement' that was contrary to the loyalty that should have been in marriage. It was Yunho who proposed it and its arrangement, while Mingi was the one who most clearly showed his hatred of it. And the meeting point between the two added to the coldness of their relationship.
It all changed a little when Yunho paved the way for them to reconnect. In Mingi's eyes, it was ridiculous indeed. Yunho who initiated the agreement, was also the one who softened Mingi's heart to stop it. Though in his heart, Mingi didn't mind about it. Anyway, he also got pleasure from it.
Even so, the defunct agreement was just like the top of iceberg. There was still a huge undiscovered base that someday could wreck the ship that crossed the unseen thing. Namely the root cause of the crack in their relationship that Mingi didn't know. Even when facing disappointment over the fruitlessness of their efforts to produce offspring, Mingi could be sure they were honest with each other about their feelings and plans for the future. So, it didn't seem to be because of that.
The uncertainty of that reason made Mingi doubt the sustainability of their current harmony. So, when getting full attention from Yunho again—both in bed and in small matters outside of work–Mingi just enjoyed it. Secretly with the readiness that one day he would lose it again. Even so, he felt quite happy.
At the age of not yet thirty, Mingi had little to worry about financially. His relationship with his family was also good enough. He was able to enjoy delicious meals almost every day in his quite luxurious house, or any five-star restaurant. Not to forget his husband whom he now considered his 'official lover' with no shortcomings–given, the removal of hope for guaranteed loyalty.
Previously, Mingi didn't worry if he was no longer wanted and couldn't stand the situation. Outside of his business associated with Yunho, he had built a career in music.
In anticipating being emotionally neglected again, Mingi had prepared reasons and apologies to their family and the closest one who had been supportive of their marriage. He just needed to heal and make himself happy again, right?
Mingi had endured the pain of feeling neglected by the person he loved, with resilience. He was used to doing this. Facing everything for himself. But in fact, destiny now said otherwise. Life seemed to want to show its power in creating storms that could bring Mingi down.
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