Chapter Text
Spyro and Sparx charged at the portal and the rush of weightlessness enveloped them. Going through a portal was always an unusual experience, but there was no better way of getting around the Dragon Realms.
A sudden bout of turbulence in the portal's magic sent the two of them spiraling. It wasn't unheard of for a portal's connection to fluctuate in strength, but it was never a fun experience. This was unusual though. To Spyro, it felt like he was being pulled by an unknown and external force.
“Woah! Hold on buddy!” shouted Spyro as they plummeted through the empty space.
A few frightening moments passed, and then they were through the other side and skidding onto solid ground.
Spyro shook himself off and stood.
“Woah! Rough landing,” he muttered.
He noticed a couple figures standing around them.
“Hi! Which way's to the... beach?” he asked them.
The two strangers peered at him with a mixture of fascination and bewilderment. One of them looked like a spotted cat and the woman looked like some sort of goat creature. Neither of them responded to his question.
“Hey, stop staring. Haven't you guys ever seen a dragon before?”
“Pffft. You're a dragon?” asked the feline.
“You got a problem with that, pussy cat?” asked Spyro in a challenging tone while he and Sparx glared at the strangers.
It looked like the pussy cat was about to fire off a retort, when suddenly a ball of flame whizzed past Spyro's head and slammed into the portal he had just exited through. The blast sent him rolling over the dirt and grass.
When the sky stopped spinning, he heard a new voice. It sounded annoying and whiny.
“You brought a dragon to Avalar? I HATE dragons!”
Avalar? Never heard of that, but it sure isn't Dragon Shores, thought Spyro to himself as he rose to his feet again.
Turning, Spyro saw a little runty creature riding on the back of a huge green lizard. It was an awful-looking fat thing. There was a blue lizard nearby as well. It looked kind of like a dragon but with wings even smaller than Spyro's. The little guy who was the source of the whiny voice was waving a glowing scepter.
Before he could do anything with the scepter, a fairy appeared and rushed over in a flurry of wings to snatch it from the runt's grasp. Spyro smirked as the small man began to throw a tantrum.
With the scepter out of the way, the runt ordered a hasty retreat of his minions. Good for them.
“Who was that jerk?” scoffed Spyro.
“That was Ripto,” explained the woman. “I don't have time to explain though. Take this magic guide book to Avalar. It will help you begin to understand our worlds. For now though, I have to follow Ripto and see what he's up to. I'll meet you in Summer Forest.”
She and the feline ran off in the direction that the “Ripto” runt had fled.
“Hey! Wait a minute!” yelled Spyro desperately as they left him. “How do we get ourselves into these messes, pal?” he asked Sparx, sighing.
The portal had been blasted to bits, and the two of them were stuck in some kind of world called Avalar. Was it part of the Dragon Realms? Spyro had never heard of it and had never heard any of the elder dragons mention it.
“I'm having flashbacks of our fight against Gnasty Gnorc,” grumbled Spyro.
“Don't remind me!” chirped Sparx.
Gnasty Gnorc was a big green gnorc who had also had a magic scepter. A scepter which he had used to turn all the elder dragon males into stone. The female dragons lived in a separate part of the Dragon Realms and had been spared the attack. Spyro had been on a vacation during the attack and had arrived back from Dragon Shores to find every elder dragon he knew encased in green rock.
It had fallen him to free all of them, to defeat Gnasty's minions and hordes of gnorcs, and to finally defeat the big man himself. The adventure had taken nearly a month and had been incredibly unpleasant. The things Spyro had to do to finally get Gnasty to yield and admit defeat... A thousand showers since still hadn't fully rid him of the smell of that green oaf.
Oh, and Gnasty was also ugly. That was another defining trait.
“There better not be any attack frogs in Avalar at least,” said Spyro. He shivered at the memory of all those tongues slamming into his scales with the force of a gun and sliding into every place they didn't belong. At least Sparx had lost most all of his magical energy before the worst of it.
“We can take them if there are! Let's go and figure out where we are!” said Sparx.
“You said it. We're going to need TWO vacations after this.”
At least the weather here was nice. Spyro and Sparx charged away from the broken portal and came upon another animal that looked like a large mouse with a light strapped to its head.
“Hey!” shouted Spyro as he slid to a stop and dug his claws into the dirt. “Where are we? Is this still the Dragon Realms?”
“Welcome to Glimmer!” squeaked the mouse. “I don't know about the Dragon Realms, but there's a portal somewhere around here that connects to Summer Forest.”
“Aw, rats. That's where that girl said she'd meet us though. Maybe she knows how to get back to the Dragon Realms. They might be the ones that got us stuck here in the first place.”
“You must mean Elora!” interjected the mouse. “I'm sure she can help you. Unfortunately, Ripto has brought a mob of lizards to ransack Glimmer. They've been stealing our gems and causing chaos. If you're a dragon, maybe you can help us Gemcutters get rid of them? You'll never make it to the other portal with them running around.”
“A few lizards? Sure, I can help you with that. I've torched all sorts of baddies before. Name's Spyro.”
“Well welcome to Glimmer, Spyro! We're not going to be much help against the lizards. You're welcome to take any gems you find lying around though. Consider it our way of thanks for your help.”
Spyro paused and thought about the thousands of gems he had already recovered during the Gnasty Gnorc ordeal. Even more gems didn't really seem like something he needed. Then again though, he could always keep building his horde and he didn't have any of them with him right now. They might come in handy.
“Sounds good,” said Spyro. “Let's go flame some lizard butt, Sparx!”
Sure enough, Spyro and Sparx stumbled upon a bounty of gems lying around on the ground as they hurried past the friendly mouse. Sparx hurriedly buzzed around and transported the gems into a magical pocket dimension as they ran around.
After picking up a few, Spyro caught sight of a purple lizard not much larger than himself. The lizard met eyes with him and stuck out his tongue.
Spyro snorted and smirked at the lizard as smoke billowed from his nostrils.
“Looks like we found one, buddy!” he jeered.
The lizard's eyes widened as the small dragon lowered its head and began to charge. Confidence evaporating, the lizard turned tail and began to run away.
Spyro was quick though, and within seconds he had caught up to the lizard and sent it flying into the air with his horns. A fast blast of flame scorched the lizard's rear end, making the creature yelp. It exploded into a flash of life energy which floated away.
“This is going to be EASY!” chuckled Spyro. “Let's find some more and burn off some steam.”
The two friends continued searching around the nearby buildings and huge pieces of uncut gems buried in the earth. They found several more lizards to beat up on before finding their way to a tunnel.
Fluttering in the tunnel was the fairy from earlier.
“Hi Spyro!” said the fairy. “My name's Zoe. I'll try to help you with my magic while you're in Avalar. As long as my magic is affecting you, you'll be teleported back to safety if you ever get too hurt.”
“Wow! Thanks!” said Spyro. “You know, I haven't met a fairy in a while.”
He closed his eyes and pushed his snout towards her as he readied his face in anticipation.
“...What are you doing?” asked Zoe in confusion.
“What? Er...”
Spyro opened his eyes and pulled his head back.
“Aren't you going to give me a kiss? To give me your magic?” asked Spyro, feeling a little disappointed.
“A kiss? Well, maybe if you stick around in Avalar for a while,” she giggled. “You seem nice and all but I was just going to use my wand.”
“Oh, right,” said Spyro, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry... The dragon world fairies would always kiss me to grant me their power. I assumed that was just a fairy magic thing.”
“It sounds like they might have just liked you and wanted an excuse to smooch you up,” replied Zoe. She gave him a wink.
“No way! Really?” asked Spyro - feeling a complete sense of shock.
Suddenly every interaction with the fairies during his Gnasty adventure was cast in a new light. Those naughty little vixens! He wondered if they had been lying about their magic only lasting for a few minutes too. Just so they could kiss him more...
His thoughts were interrupted with a zap from Zoe's wand.
“Ouch! I mean, er, thanks.”
“Good luck, Spyro!” laughed Zoe before she disappeared and left nothing but a cloud of glitter behind.
Sparx gave Spyro a mocking look and Spyro glared at him.
“Hey! You didn't think anything was strange about those fairies either! And you use the same kind of magic as them so you should have known something was weird!”
“I thought you could use the pick-me-up after those military Gnorcs ran a train on you in the Peace Keepers world,” laughed Sparx.
Spyro felt his face grow hot.
“W-what? I thought they knocked you out at the start when they hit me with those cannons! I saw you turn green and then vanish!” he said accusingly.
Sparx adopted a look of innocence.
“Well... I may have recovered part way through and seen the tail-end of it! I didn't want to embarrass you,” said Sparx guiltily.
Spyro glared at him and suddenly Sparx flew away down the tunnel.
“Hey! Get back here, Sparx!” shouted Spyro.
He began to run after Sparx, heading down the dark tunnel. It had been bad enough that Sparx knew that Spyro had to fuck Gnasty Gnorc's gross ass for over an hour. Spyro had kicked Sparx out of the room, but the green idiot hadn't even been threatening enough to damage any of Sparx's magic shielding to make him poof away for a while.
Now he was left wondering just how much of his other shameful experiences from that adventure Sparx had witnessed. What a disaster this vacation was turning out to be!
Spyro rounded several corners and entered a larger cavern space. It was dimly lit by torches and gleaming gems hanging from the ceiling.
“Where is that little bastard,” muttered Spyro as he glanced around the darkness.
He saw Sparx in the distance fluttering down into the dark depths of the cavern.
“Ah-ha!”
Spyro charged down the rocky stairs and dashed around a big stalagmite to try to gain ground on his friend.
WHAM
Suddenly, Spyro saw only stars in his vision. As the world spun for him, he saw the vague shape of a large brown creature. His head ached, but it seemed Sparx's magic was still protecting him from this distance. Now to back off-
The wooden club carved through the air again and hit him in the side, sending him tumbling across the rocks and dirt of the cave floor.
“Spyro! Are you okay!” chirped Sparx who was suddenly in front of his face. “Get up!”
“Oh no... You're green,” mumbled Spyro deleriously.
“Snap out of it!”
“Huh?” asked Spyro in confusion as he fell forwards directly onto his face. “Hmmm... Soft floor.”
His head gradually cleared, although the blows had stopped, so he stayed still on the floor. Cautiously, Spyro glanced around and saw that his attacker was a huge brown lizard creature.
“What's the matter, fatty?” called Spyro cockily. “Too afraid now that you've revealed yourself?”
The lizard, unsurprisingly, did not respond with anything other than a grunt. It seemed to be staring stupidly down at Spyro.
“What? Never seen a dragon before?” jeered Spyro.
The lizard dropped the club and moved forward towards the dragon.
“Huh? What are you-”
The air was knocked out of his lungs as the lizard grabbed his tail and collapsed what must have been half of its weight onto his back.
“Ow!” hissed Spyro hoarsely. “My bones ache...”
He twisted around but the lizard grabbed his horns and shoved his face further into the dirt. His hindquarters were shoved up into the air, and he saw a meaty-looking appendage floating in the air behind his tail.
“Oh FUCK no!” protested Spyro, but the lizard's weight on his horns increased, shoving his snout even harder against the dirt.
Spyro's went cross-eyed with pain as the lizard shoved it's dick into his rear hole unceremoniously. How did this always happen?
“Spyro! Is this really how you're going to defeat this guy?” asked Sparx. “It might only work on gnorcs.”
Spyro glared at Sparx who was still green somehow and managed to lift his face off the cave floor momentarily.
“I hate you sometimes!” he grunted.
Sparx buzzed in place and laughed, which earned him a quick flame from Spyro's mouth. Mercifully, Sparx poofed away to recover.
“Thank the elders,” muttered Spyro as he shifted his focus to the giant monster cock seesawing in and out of his ass. “Get off me fatty!”
He tried to flame the lizard but couldn't get the angle right and couldn't produce enough flame anyway with the air getting knocked out of him every second. Spyro settled in and resigned himself to just torching the lizard once it was done. Hopefully it didn't have that much stamina.
Sometime later, perhaps only minutes, Spyro saw some furry legs and fancy shoes approaching.
“What in the world!” said the stranger who had pompous voice.
Spyro heard a few sounds of combat, and then the big brown lizard exploded into a burst of life energy, giving him a welcome relief from the weight and the hammering.
“Are you alright, Mr. Dragon?” asked the stranger.
“Hmmmm?” mumbled Spyro.
He tilted his head up and saw what looked like a talking bear standing on its hindlegs. And this bear was wearing a bunch of fancy clothes.
“Oh no, I have brain damage,” complained Spyro.
“I think you're alright... You're just covered in -ahem- lizard fluids said the bear, which was definitely talking.
“A talking bear... Amazing,” said Spyro as his head started to clear. “I guess you knocked out that lizard that was attacking me? Thanks for the help.”
Spyro cracked his spine back and forth a couple times and stretched his limbs out.
“Ah, that feels better... This has been an awful vacation.”
“Moneybags at your service,” said the bear with an exaggerated bow. “I used to be a bantamweight boxer in my better years, you know. It's been a while since I've had to use those old university skills again.”
“A boxing bear, huh? I'm Spyro. I, uh, didn't ask for that, by the way. The lizard jumped me.”
Moneybags coughed awkwardly and waved the thought away.
“Of course not. Now, you said you were on a vacation? If you had a few gems, say 100, I could activate the bridge across the chasm here,” said Moneybags as he shook a hefty sack from one of his hands.
Spyro's response was interrupted by Sparx's green body flashing back into existence.
“Good heavens!” yelped Moneybags.
“Don't worry, that's my buddy, Sparx.”
“You flamed me!” whined Sparx.
“You were being an asshole,” retorted Spyro. “We haven't collected more than a few gems here yet, have we Sparx?”
“Only nine gems so far, Spyro.”
“I suppose all the ones we collected while hunting down Gnasty Gnorc are still in the dragon worlds?”
“I don't have them,” said Sparx.
“Darn. Well, Mr. Moneybags,” said Spyro. “I don't think I can help you right now. We're stuck here and can't get back to the dragon worlds to get the rest of my gems.”
“Hmm... You said you had 9? I suppose that might, uh, provide enough magic to activate the bridge. Maybe you can owe me the rest if our paths cross again,” said the bear.
“Really? Sweet. Sparx, can you grab those gems for him?”
Sparx activated his magic and the handful of gems appeared above the bear's sack and fell neatly inside.
Moneybags smiled and walked up the stairs to the bridge before giving it a kick.
Spyro and Sparx watched with amazement as an ornate bridge sprung across the chasm.
“Awesome. Let's get going, Sparx. I'm sick of lizards.”
The two charged across the bridge as the bear waved at them.
What a nice guy, thought Spyro to himself as the darkness swallowed the fancy bear up behind them.