Chapter Text
“I just don’t know what to do!”
Todd down his fruit smoothie in three gulps, then slammed his head on the wooden table.
Envy, sitting across from Todd, looked on with annoyance. She rolled her eyes before speaking.
“Why are you talking to me about this? I’m your ex-girlfriend.”
The ambient sounds of the cafe filled their conversation’s pause. Todd huffed and sat up, still gripping his smoothie cup.
“What do you mean? You’re the only one who would get it!”
Crossing her arms, Envy sighed.
“Honestly Todd? I haven’t gotten you since you got with Wallace,” then she sits up abruptly. “And that’s another again! Are you guys even together or do you think you’re together?”
“W-we’re together!”
Todd knew he was mistaken. He knew that Wallace didn’t consider the two of them together-together, just a fling still. But Todd was trying to fix that! Hence his dilemma.
“Right…”
“Envy, please. I just…I just don’t know what I need to do to get him to know how I feel about him.”
The redhead watched him practically deflate with every word he spoke. She truly did feel bad for him, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t have lingering feelings for Todd.
Which, for some reason, made her want to help Todd with his new relationship problems.
She never liked Wallace. He was an overall dick of a person. When she broke up with Scott, the animosity between the two only got worse.
Plus, upon much reflection— specifically post-film production—Wallace had played Todd just to fuck with her because of her and Scott’s messy breakup. Envy had let herself blame Todd, and while it was partially his fault, this was a lot deeper than just Todd.
So sue her if she was a little hesitant to help her ex-boyfriend get with Wallace.
“Listen. Todd, I say this, not as your ex-girlfriend, but your ‘friend,’ I guess. You need to move on. Wallace has clearly moved on from you. You’re an idiot doing this to yourself.”
Todd fidgeted with his straw silently. He couldn’t even look at Envy.
Because she was right.
“You need to stand up for yourself, Todd. Like you did with me.”
“Right…but how do I do that?”
Envy cackled suddenly, drawing the attention of some of the folks nearby. She could have a little fun with this. Todd raised an eyebrow.
“The first thing you need to do is get rid of that goofy-ass tattoo.”
Todd’s face lit up with embarrassment.
Envy helped Todd come up with a plan. After they made the tattoo appointment (tomorrow at 11 AM sharp!), Envy dragged him to her apartment and plopped a stack of girly magazines in his lap.
“What are these?”
Todd held up one and flipped through the pages quickly. Envy snatched it out of his hands, opening it to a certain page.
‘How to end a casual relationship when you want more’
Oh. Advice stuff.
“I would just read these out loud to you, but you need to read and process this on your own.”
Envy watched Todd read for a beat, then starting plucking the other magazines up to bookmark other advice articles.
After finishing up at the tattoo parlor the next day, Todd went home with a sore side and a tote bag full of magazines.
He was relaxing on his couch, doing some reading and listening to punk rock on his awesome speakers when there was a knock on his door.
Todd sat the magazine face-down on the side table and checked his phone. No texts.
‘Oh man…I’m totally not ready for this yet!’ Todd thought with panic. It was probably Wallace, wasn't it?
He could just not answer the door. But his lights were on and the music was still playing.
“Todd, I know you’re there, guy!”
Wallace. He knew it.
Todd’s heart skipped a beat uncontrollably. His instincts had him on his feet in front of his door, opening it wide.
Sure enough, Wallace was standing there with his typical Cheshire grin.
“Took you long enough. Miss me?”
“Wallace!”
Todd stepped to the side to let Wallace in.
‘Sorry Envy…’
“Not much has changed since I’ve been here last.”
“Yeah,” Todd rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure what to say. “So, what brings you here Wallace?”
Wallace chuckled, coming towards Todd and wrapping his arms around Todd’s neck.
“Why do you think I’m here?”
“Well, I mean…”
Todd trailed off, feeling his face turn hot and read. He couldn’t deny Wallace. He was just too…amazing.
“C’mere, big guy.”
And, as usual, every kiss felt like fireworks exploding. The sparks— this is what made Todd hesitate to go through with Envy’s plan to help him.
‘Just this last time,’ Todd thought as he fell backwards onto the couch, Wallace on top of him. ‘And then I’ll do it.’
“I can hear you thinking, Todd.”
“Sorry.”
“No worries. Just pay attention to me.”
“Of course, Wallace.”
Wallace leaned back to take off his shirt. Todd did the same, completely forgetting about his tattoo. He went to undo his belt when Wallace spoke again.
“You got rid of that tattoo?”
Todd looked up to see Wallace looking at him…incredulously. He winced when Wallace ran his fingertips over the spot.
“Damn. I was just starting to like it too.”
“Oh,” the word felt punched out of Todd’s gut. If he had known, then he wouldn’t have—!
“Yeah, I just figured it was kinda embarrassing, like you were embarrassed.”
Wallace shrugged.
“Yeah, I guess. But like I said, I was starting to like it. Plus it’s cute you like me so much you’d do something so crazy for me.”
“Right…” Todd sighed sweetly. He couldn’t help but feel so helpless around Wallace. “I’d do a lot of crazy things for you, Wallace Wells.”
“I knew you’d say that,” Wallace laughed, but then he leaned in close to Todd’s face. “But right now I just want you to make me go crazy with that dick.”
They kissed again. Todd rutted up against Wallace before they both took off their pants. The punk rock music pounding heavy bass lines against their heads, matching the tempo of Todd’s heart.
Somewhere else in the city, in a swanky condo living room, Envy Adams sneezed.