Archive of Our Own

Another unbearable day for Hao to face going to school. Another day having to deal with Sung Hanbin, the popular kid among the wealthy who seems to relish tormenting him. He longs for some peace before classes start, but luck isn't on his side. Hanbin is already stationed at the school gate with his clique, and Hao takes a deep breath before entering, perhaps hoping in vain to go unnoticed by Hanbin. He tries to pass by unnoticed, praying not to be noticed, but loses balance and ends up falling, hearing laughter around him.

"Sinks like a stone, this faggot has no balance at all," Sung Hanbin's unpleasant voice resonates. Luck, it seems, is not on his side. At least his glasses are intact. He prepares to get up when his backpack is yanked off his back. He takes a deep breath as Hanbin rummages through all the contents.

"What do we have interesting here?" Hanbin mocks, emptying the backpack. "Nothing interesting. You're so boring," he continues. The bell rings, interrupting Hanbin, and Hao silently thanks. Hanbin throws the empty backpack back at him and leaves with his friends laughing.

Hao gathers his belongings, already accustomed to this routine of torment. Once, perhaps, he would have cried, but now he just accepts it. It's just another day in his life, where being tormented by Sung Hanbin has become the norm. He takes a deep breath once again, reorganizes his things, and heads to the classroom, knowing that the day has barely begun and there will still be a long way of taunts ahead.

Hao always chooses the same spot: the front row, right by the teacher's desk. He's passionate about his studies but is always alone. Who would sit next to the "gay nerd" of the class, the constant target of the school's most popular boy's bullying? When the teacher turns to the board, paper balls start hitting his head. He doesn't react; he already knows the content: the worst homophobic insults that Hanbin and his friends can come up with. Another ordinary day, another day normalized, and the rest of the class continues like this.

During break time, he rushes to the bathroom to eat the food his mother prepared with so much care. His loving mother, unaware of her son's torment, as Hao prefers not to worry her; she already has enough problems. Today was a lucky day; he managed to reach the bathroom and lock the door before Hanbin arrived. On an unlucky day, however, Hanbin takes his food, leaving Hao with nothing to eat for the whole day since he doesn't bring money to school. Fear of Hanbin stealing his hard-earned money from his mother prevents him from carrying any amount. He prefers to endure hunger until he gets home for dinner.

The rest of the break is spent locked in the bathroom, where he finally finds peace. Today, definitely, was a lucky day.

The rest of the classes follow the same pattern: paper balls flying in his direction, whispers and mocking giggles behind his back, jokes that no longer grab his attention. By the end of the class, he knows Hanbin will be busy with training and won't bother him on the way out.

Arriving home and realizing his mother hasn't returned yet, Hao breaks down in tears in the shower. Just another ordinary day for him, but the loneliness and inability to confide in someone make everything harder. He understands that tomorrow will be the same, as will the following day and the one after until the end of school. There's only one year left, he can endure.

It's a tough situation to bear everything alone, without someone to talk to. Understanding that the tormenting routine will persist is draining. The countdown to the end of this phase is the only anchor keeping him steady.

Today, news emerged that a new student would join the school. Hao learned this after overhearing a conversation between two girls. Surprisingly, Hanbin wasn't at the entrance with his friends, so he entered the school calmly. Hao proceeded quietly to the classroom, not caring much about the newcomer. His only hope was that this new classmate wouldn't join Hanbin's group to become another tormentor. Hao just wanted the new student to ignore him, as so many others did.

The newcomer ended up being in his own classroom. He was tall, robust, sported a scar on his cheek, and his smile carried a threatening air. He introduced himself as Hwang Jihoo, the son of a congressman. When their eyes met, Hao felt a shiver run down his spine, almost like an instinct urging him to flee.

Jihoo chose a seat at the back of the classroom, but Hao noticed the constant gaze directed at him. At one point, he turned around and saw the unsettling smile adorning the new student's face. A smile that left him more unsettled than the usual paper balls from Hanbin and his friends. Strangely, he longed for the "innocence" of Hanbin's tasteless jokes. Perhaps it was his paranoia. Hanbin tormented him so much that now anyone seemed threatening in his eyes.

Yesterday was a peaceful day for Hao, despite the new student's persistent gaze on him, but it was so peaceful that he thought if Hanbin didn't study with him, he would be a normal student and have a normal school life.

As he walks closer to the school, the new student suddenly appears in front of him, and his already menacing smile now seems even more terrifying. Hao feels an urgent need to run, and that's precisely what he attempts, although not very far. Jihoo easily knocks him down to the ground.

"I think I'll have a lot of fun with you, Zhang Hao," he says, pulling Hao's head by the hair, causing him to bite his lip to suppress a groan of pain. "I like noise, so feel free." He forcefully releases Hao's head, slamming it onto the ground, and begins relentlessly kicking his ribs and stomach.

Hao tries to shield himself as best as he can, but it's futile. Tears stream down his face; the pain is excruciating as Jihoo mercilessly continues his assault. Attempting to stifle his cries of agony, some slip out, seemingly pleasing Jihoo even more, urging him on. Hao has no idea how long this lasts until suddenly it stops. He curls up in fear, unsure if Jihoo might return at any moment. It's uncertain how much time passes until he dares to open his eyes. Jihoo is gone, the street deserted. His entire body aches, especially his ribs and abdomen. There's blood on his clothes, and his glasses are shattered. He cries, "I'm sorry, Mom, I'll be causing you more trouble," as he heads into school, realizing he's late. The courtyard is empty; he heads straight to the classroom.

"Late again, Zhang Hao," is the first thing the teacher says as he enters, eyeing him. Hao feels a lump in his throat but forces himself to speak.

"Sorry, sir," he replies and takes his seat.

"Make sure this doesn't happen again, or you won't be allowed in my class," Hao nods and swallows back his tears. No one cares about him.

The class proceeds in silence. Hanbin and his friends are present; Hao noticed as soon as he entered the room. No paper ball hits his head, and he's thankful for that; he has no energy to deal with anything else today. When the bell rings, Hao remains still. He should go to the infirmary, but he lacks the strength. Every movement causes intense pain; he fears encountering Jihoo outside, someone more frightening than Hanbin. Thus, he decides to stay in the classroom. Hanbin doesn't show up to steal his food, but today he would have been grateful; at least his mother's food wouldn't have gone to waste.

As the dismissal bell chimes, Hao is consumed by pain and fear. If Jihoo repeats what he did at the entrance, he wouldn't know how to survive. While other students leave the room, Jihoo remains there, behind him. Tears begin to roll down Hao's face; he feels he won't be able to escape. He stands up, realizing Jihoo is approaching from behind. As he reaches the outside, Jihoo grabs his arm, preventing him from moving forward.

"Please, don't do this," pleads Hao through tears.

"You're so beautiful when you cry, like a doll. If you were a girl, I'd love to have you as my girlfriend," says Jihoo, running his finger through Hao's tears. "But you're just a faggot, and faggots like you deserve punishment. I'll enjoy punishing someone as beautiful as you," he continues, gripping Hao's face tightly. The pain is intense, and an involuntary scream escapes from Hao.

And he repeats the same behavior he had at the beginning, no longer seeing anything, the pain is worse because he didn't take care of the wounds earlier, it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts, someone make it stop, please, please, he no longer thinks, it reaches a point where he no longer feels pain, he's already numb, and Jihoo stops after realizing there's no reaction left, leaving him on the street like a piece of trash, he can't move, is he going to die? He didn't want to die yet, he wants to get up, but he can't, he doesn't have the strength for it, he hears footsteps and feels fear, please, don't let it be him again, please, he closes his eyes.

"Zhang Hao?" he hears Hanbin's voice.

"Please, Hanbin, not today, just today leave me alone, please, I'm completely destroyed today, tomorrow do whatever you want, compensate twice for today, but not today," Hao responds, crying, and Hanbin feels bad, he shouldn't, he hates Hao, doesn't he? Then why does it hurt him to see Hao like this?

"Do you want me to call someone?" Hanbin asks, unable to see Hao like this and do nothing.

"Just leave me alone, please," is the only response Hao gives. Hanbin sighs; one tries to be nice, but rudeness prevails, but he couldn't leave Hao like that. So, he picks him up, realizing how light he is. Maybe Hanbin should steal less of his food.

"Please, Hanbin, no," cries Hao, trembling in his arms. Hanbin places him in his car, in the backseat, and drives to a pharmacy, where he buys some medicine and bandages. Upon returning, he goes to the backseat, where Hao is in the same position as when he left him.

"Can you take off your uniform?" Hanbin asks, and Hao looks suspiciously at him. But upon seeing the bandages he brought, he decides to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Hao starts trying to remove his uniform, but he's low on energy, and everything causes him pain. Hanbin assists him, and he manages to take it off. His torso is exposed and looks terrible, completely red with blood and various bruises. Nevertheless, Hanbin believes that Hao must have a beautiful body, without all these injuries. He's slender but seems to have a nice abdomen for someone who apparently doesn't engage in physical activities. Moreover, his waist is quite slim. Suddenly, curiosity awakens in Hanbin: would his hands be able to meet there? Hanbin restrains himself psychologically—how could he be admiring someone else's body like this? Get it together, Hanbin, you're a man who likes women, male bodies don't attract you, they aren't beautiful. You're faltering, just as your father would say.

"It looks pretty bad, wouldn't it be better to go to a hospital? You might have broken something?" Hanbin questions.

"No, definitely not broken. I just need to clean up," replies Hao, and Hanbin nods, trusting that he knows what's best for himself. Hanbin begins to clean Hao's body, who bites his lips to avoid screaming in pain. Hanbin is being gentle, surprising Hao, as he'd never expect this from him, but it still hurts.

"There we go," Hanbin finishes. "Here are the painkillers, they should help." Hanbin hands over the medications.

"Thank you, Hanbin," says Hao, feeling a bit awkward. He never imagined that one day he would thank Hanbin, but he's grateful.

"No need to thank me, I'm just doing this to prevent someone from dying, and I end up being blamed, even if it's you," says Hanbin, thinking to himself that he's only helping Zhang Hao to avoid being accused of murder since the two hate each other. "Now you can get out of my car." Hao thanks again before leaving Hanbin's vehicle. The pharmacy where Hanbin stopped isn't far from his home, so he doesn't have to walk much, thank goodness.

He arrives home quite late and realizes his mother hasn't arrived yet; this brings him relief as he won't have to explain anything to her. In fact, he wouldn't even know what to say. He throws his clothes into the laundry, has the dinner his mother prepared, grabs his spare glasses, takes the medication Hanbin bought, and says a prayer before going to sleep, hoping that the next day will be better than the current one.

It wasn't better. He hurries to school, still bruised and battered. Luckily, his mother is on duty, so he can hide his condition. As Hao is about to enter the school gate, he hears Jihoo's laughter, and his whole body shivers. Fear grips him, rendering him immobile.

"Get out of the way, faggot!" One of Hanbin's friends shoves him. The pain from yesterday's injuries is intense, but it brings Hao back to reality, and he continues walking towards his class.

Paper balls are thrown at him again, and Jihoo's gaze directed at him makes everything even harder. But Hao knows he has to endure it for his mother, who works so hard to ensure his education at a prestigious school and only wants to be proud of her son. It's the last year he has to face; he's already endured Sung Hanbin for two years, he can endure a little longer. During the break, Hao decides to stay in the classroom. Escaping from Hanbin wouldn't help; usually, he waits for his food, but today he just stares and hits his bag against his head. Hanbin hates how easily Hao gives in; he sees no fun in that.

"You're more resilient than I imagined, Zhang Hao. Many wouldn't handle what happened yesterday, but here you are, as if nothing had occurred." Jihoo settles into the teacher's desk, a menacing glint in his eyes, leaving Hao frightened, very frightened. "Today, I'll give you a break, but soon we'll play again," he announces, almost affectionately touching Hao's face. Leaving the room, he leaves Hao more anxious; he's at peace for today, but he knows it's only for today.

Dealing with Jihoo has become a true hell for Hao. He's tormented in various ways, enduring constant physical assaults and even being thrown against the toilet. He always finds bandages and medication nearby, although he doesn't know who leaves them there, and he's grateful for it. He tries his best to conceal his injuries; although Jihoo avoids hitting his face much, the scars on his body are covered by long clothing, no matter how hot it gets.

Meanwhile, Hanbin is involved in a basketball game. The past few weeks have been unbearable, with Jihoo becoming increasingly intolerable and popular. Hanbin can't understand why, even though he knows Jihoo is the son of a politician. Everyone seems to want to get close to him, even his friends, and Hanbin feels like he's losing everything, even the closeness with his friends and his perspective on Hao is worsening. It seems like Hao is about to fall apart at any moment, which prevents Hanbin from teasing him as before.

"Thinking about your little boyfriend, Sung Hanbin? I thought you were a worthy opponent, but you seem to be just another gay," Jihoo's voice echoes in Hanbin's ears, who reacts by punching Jihoo before he finishes his words. An intense fight breaks out between them, with punches and kicks, until they are separated by a few people. The teacher leads them to the principal's office, who watches them with disappointment, both injured, but Jihoo in worse condition.

"Sung Hanbin, son of one of the biggest businessmen around here, and you, Hwang Jihoo, son of an excellent congressman, fighting like two dogs when you should be friends," the principal says with disgust. "You're in detention today."

"WHAT?" they shout in unison.

"Just for today, boys. Now, please leave." Hanbin and Jihoo are taken to the infirmary to tend to their injuries and then to detention, in silence.

After Jihoo left detention, he became quiet, which worries Hao. He doesn't know what he might be plotting, and that's unsettling. His gaze remains fixed on me. On the other hand, Hanbin has returned to his old habits of making me stumble, dropping my things, and stealing my lunch. It's as if I've returned to my old reality before Jihoo's return, almost.

One day, as Hao was leaving, he surprisingly encounters Hanbin, all bloodied, walking alone. He approaches, concerned. Hanbin in such a state—what could have left him like this?

"Leave me alone, Zhang Hao," he says, the first time he mentions my name without a derogatory nickname.

"You're hurt, Hanbin. I can help," Hao offers before Hanbin interrupts.

"I don't need YOUR help. Leave me alone and go live your insignificant life," he tries to walk away, but due to the injuries, he can't go far.

"At least take these bandages and medication, so we're even after the time you helped me," Hao grabs the cute animal-shaped bandages he received and Hanbin hesitates before finally accepting them. Hao is right; now they're even. "Take care," Hao leaves Hanbin alone with his pain.

Hanbin is furious. He can't believe he got into trouble because of Jihoo. His security guards are useless. He'll make Jihoo pay for this. His father will be furious seeing him arrive home like this. He's still annoyed about the detention; if he shows up like this, he might get another beating, he thinks. He calls his driver, who arrives after a while. At least he won't be the only one scolded; his security guards will surely be unemployed tomorrow. In the car, he looks at what Hao handed him, the cute bandages he didn't expect to get back. An involuntary smile forms on his face.

Hanbin hasn't shown up at school for a few days, and Hao, though feeling pathetic for caring, strangely is worried. What changes in his life if Hanbin is okay or not? Shouldn't it be better if he were not? One less person to intimidate him. Jihoo has resumed his usual actions and actually seems worse; as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent not intimidating Hao.

"Zhang Hao, today I brought something very interesting for our little game," Jihoo says with his terrifying smile, even more disturbing this time. Hao shivers in fear. "Ta-da!" he announces, displaying a flat iron with a wide grin. Instinctively, Hao feels the urge to flee, but Jihoo stops him. "Nuh-uh, we haven't even started. We need to test it on you to see if the temperature is good, it's for my mom. Stay still."

Hao tries to escape, but Jihoo is stronger. "There's no use trying to run, cutie. You won't escape from me," he says, restraining Hao and pressing the hot flat iron onto his arm. Hao screams in desperation, tears streaming down his face.

"Please, stop! It hurts so much, please! I'll do whatever you want, just stop, please," pleads Hao amidst tears.

"Oh, I do love seeing you beg. No one cries as beautifully as you do. But I need to test the temperature a little more to see if it's working well enough for my mom, you know," remarks Jihoo, pressing the flat iron again onto Hao, this time on his thigh. Hao screams and cries desperately. "Just one more time," says Jihoo, now applying the flat iron on Hao's heel. "I think it's hot enough. Thank you, Zhang Hao," he says, pushing Hao, who collapses on the ground, powerless.

His arm, thigh, and heel are burning, an intense pain worse than anything Jihoo has done before. Hao can't take it anymore. Yes, this is the end for him. He worries about his mother but needs to get out of there. Slowly, he gets up and leaves the rooftop. He ignores the infirmary; he knows the nurse won't help him, Jihoo threatened her. He heads straight to the principal's office, looking desolate: bleeding arms, a soiled uniform, messy hair, without the glasses he stopped wearing daily for fear of Jihoo breaking them again, a bleeding forehead from the recent fall.

"Zhang Hao, you're one of the best students we have here. Your grades are excellent, and you're on scholarship. Your mother pays a portion of your scholarship, but the other part is covered by us. Are you sure you want to leave our school? Many people would give anything for the opportunity you have, and you want to throw it away," comments the principal. Hao wants to laugh, if only he had the strength for it. The principal seems to live in another reality, while he's broken, without any more strength, wishing he could disappear.

"I'm sure. I appreciate the opportunity and I'm sorry to disappoint you," replies Hao, simply, with the best smile he can muster at that moment.

"Very well. Let your mother know to come to the school when she's available to sign the paperwork along with you," the principal agrees. Hao feels relieved hearing those words. This hell is about to end; he will finally breathe again.

"Thank you, Principal," murmurs Hao as he leaves the room. His burned body aches like hell, but he'll never have to go through this torment again.

Hao doesn't stay for the remaining classes; he heads to the hospital where his mother works. The weight of possibly disappointing his mother weighs heavily on him. She might find out that her son is weak, unable to endure. At the reception, he announces his name, and his mother appears, running and concerned seeing the blood on his uniform. Hao, crying, hates worrying his mother in this way.

"Sorry, Mom. I wanted to be stronger, but I'm not. I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Hao sobs, crying as his mother embraces him.

"Son, let's take care of these injuries, then we'll talk, alright?" She leads Hao to a bench, removes his bloodied uniform, and discovers the recent burns caused by Jihoo, along with many other injuries. Tears well up in her eyes, unable to understand how she didn't notice her son's situation.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," murmurs Hao, also in tears.

"No need to apologize. Let's treat these wounds to avoid ugly scars, okay?" She tends to Hao's wounds with extreme care, concerned not to cause him more pain. When she finishes, she offers to treat the burns with the same care.

"Alright, thank you, Mom."

"Don't thank me. Let's go home. I'll stay with you," she offers, but Hao insists he doesn't want to inconvenience her.

"No, you don't need to, Mom. I don't want to bother you. I can wait at home," insists Hao, but his mother assures him it won't be a bother.

On the train ride back home, Hao decides to share his situation.

"Mom, I want to change schools," he says as soon as they enter the house, noticing her concerned expression.

"Of course, son. Do you want to tell me why?" Hao's mother asks carefully, and tears form in his eyes. He didn't want to tell her, but he needs to let it out.

"I... I don't feel well there. I never have. It got worse when a new student joined. He hates me... Because I'm gay. I'm so sorry, Mom, but I can't take it anymore. I asked to leave," confesses Hao, crying as his mother embraces him, both emotional.

"It's not your fault, son. I should have noticed. Where's the school principal? And the teachers?" His mother worries.

"They... They're all wealthy, and the new student is a politician's son. Nobody wants to create problems with the influential people in the country over a poor kid like me," explains Hao, looking at her sadly.

"I'm so sorry, son. I thought that school was the best option for you. If I had known..." She laments.

"You couldn't have known, Mom. It's not your fault," he reassures her.

"I'll get you out of that school. We'll look for another one, alright? You'll rest at home for the next few days, and then we'll sort this out," Hao's mother promises. He feels a relief, a renewed hope he hadn't felt in a long time. Could it really be this easy? Why didn't he do this before?

Hanbin returns to school after a few days at home. Luckily, his father didn't assault him, but he had to endure an exhaustive lecture about the responsibility of maintaining the Sung family's reputation and behaving up to the family name.

Upon returning to school, something seems off: his friends are completely surrounding Jihoo, but Hao is not in class. This is unusual because, no matter the circumstances, Hao always showed up, even covered in blood. Days pass in this situation, and Hanbin feels a growing anguish without understanding the reason.

He overhears some conversations about Hao leaving the school. This can't be true. There's no reason for Hao to leave; he wouldn't do that. Hanbin needs him at school, it can't be real. Hao is coming back to school tomorrow, and everything will go back to normal.

Hanbin wasn't wrong in predicting Hao's presence at school the next day, but he wasn't alone; his mother was with him. Hanbin couldn't believe what he saw. Hao couldn't do this to him. Despite this, he noticed that Hao seemed more upbeat than he had in recent times. He even looked good like this, Hanbin thought, but he needed to talk to Hao. He couldn't just leave school, he couldn't...

At an opportune moment, Hanbin surprises Hao, pinning him against the bathroom wall, startling him.

"What are you doing, Hanbin?"

"Tell me it's a lie, that you're not leaving the school," Hanbin held Hao's arms, shaking them.

"I'm leaving this hell, Hanbin. Finally, I'm freeing you from my presence, which you hate so much," Hao's words irritated Hanbin, even though he didn't exactly understand why.

"No, you can't," he pressed him harder against the wall, their faces closing in.

"Why not, Sung Hanbin?" Hao asked, leaving Hanbin silent. "Answer me, Sung Hanbin. Why can't I leave, when it's always been your wish to get rid of me? You've always hated me, I'm just fulfilling what you want, tell me." As Hao spoke, their faces got closer. Irritated by Hao's questions, Hanbin wanted to silence him and kissed him.

It's just a touch of lips, but Hao is shocked, he didn't expect that. Hanbin requests access with his tongue, surprising him even more. Drawing their bodies closer, Hanbin explores Hao's mouth, who feels dizzy and, if it weren't for Hanbin's support, would have fallen. Without quite understanding what's happening, Hao stops thinking and just surrenders to the sensation of the kiss, which is incredibly good. Hanbin seems desperate, as if he wants to merge with Hao. For a moment, they lose their breath and separate.

Hanbin appreciates the sight of Hao, his red and wet lips, feeling a strange internal pride in his act. But reality knocks on the door, what is he doing? Kissing another man? No, no, no. He quickly moves away from Hao.

"Hanbin?" He hears Hao's voice before running out of the bathroom, incredulous at his own actions.

He refuses to believe he faltered this way. No, he's not gay, why did he kiss Hao? And worse, why did he like it? No, he likes women, yes, women are beautiful, with red lips... Red, like Hao's lips as he left. "Don't focus, Hanbin. You're not gay, you don't like men," he repeats to himself. Hanbin runs aimlessly, unable to understand his own actions. Deciding he needs to go back home, he can tell his father that classes ended early today, he'll believe it.

He tries to calm his racing heart in the car on the way home. Hao is leaving, and he won't see him anymore. He's just confused because he decided to be kind to him lately, but people like him don't deserve pity. They manipulate you when you least expect it. Everything will go back to normal, Hanbin tries to reassure himself on the way home.

Hao is shocked in the bathroom. What did Hanbin do? Why? He touches his own lips, incredulous. His heart is racing. Is this a new prank by Hanbin? Why does he feel this agitation thinking about Hanbin? Hanbin, one of the people responsible for him leaving school. His phone rings, interrupting his thoughts. His worried mother asks where he is. Hao replies that he's on his way, but Hanbin doesn't matter anymore. He'll never see him again, as he's leaving this school behind. All of this will be a confusing memory that won't make sense. Hao leaves the bathroom and heads to the principal's office. He'll never set foot in this place again.

The next day, Hanbin is awakened by violent knocks on the door. When he opens it, he faces his father, an immense rage stamped on his face. "Sung Hanbin, what the hell is this?" his father explodes, showing him a photo on his phone: Hanbin kissing Hao. His heart freezes. Who could have done this? He stares at his father, who looks at him with unimaginable hatred. It can't be, his father can't hate him. Hanbin tries to speak, but his father doesn't let him.

"Father, I can explain," he tries to say, but is interrupted by a devastating slap. "Explain what? What is there to explain? I thought I raised a man, but I only raised a weakling, a wretch. You're no longer my son. You're expelled from the family," his father proclaims, rejecting Hanbin painfully.

"Father, please, I'll do better, I promise. Forgive me," Hanbin pleads, kneeling and being repelled with a kick. "Weak. That's what you are. This is the last time you see me. But I'll teach you a lesson that people like you deserve," his father says, grabbing a belt and hitting Hanbin, who begs to stop, unsuccessfully. He drags him by the hair, exposing him to the mansion, screaming his contempt. "LOOK AT THIS FREAK, THIS WIMP WHO'S NO LONGER PART OF OUR FAMILY, A DISGRACE THAT I'M EXPELLING." Everyone watches in silence. Hanbin feels rejected, even by his own mother.

At the edge of the mansion, he's pushed to the ground and kicked while his father mercilessly curses at him. Hanbin cries, not just from physical pain but from emotional pain, seeing his father, once his hero, turned into something so cruel. When his father finally tires, he spits on Hanbin.

"When I leave, I don't want to see you. If I see you, I'll have you killed," his father threatens, turning his back. Hanbin feels the truth in the words. Everything hurts. He doesn't know how, but he needs to get up.

Hanbin, exhausted, finds a brief refuge on the sidewalk of an unknown house. Tired and hurt, he allows himself to rest for a few precious minutes until the homeowner shows up. Hanbin is disoriented, unsure of what to do. With no money for a hospital, he feels as though he deserves this fate. Maybe he deserves to die; indeed, he might be the disgrace his father claims. A person without worth, a stain on the family. But before dying, he decides to pray, seeking forgiveness for his tainted soul from God.

He struggles to get up, pushing through the pain, and slowly heads to the nearest church. Along the way, curious glances follow him, but he is completely absorbed in his own torment. Others' whispers fade away, indifferent to his agony, as he is resolute: he will ask God for forgiveness and then depart.

Upon reaching the church, he finds the place empty. He drags himself to a bench near the image of the crucified Christ. There, facing the sacred figure, he desperately pleads for forgiveness. His soul seems to beg for divine mercy, seeking relief for his weaknesses, his forbidden desires, for having kissed another man. He asks for forgiveness for this sin, for his stained and impure soul.

While immersed in the anguish of his own plea, he suddenly feels a gentle hand rest on his shoulder.

"Kid, are you okay?" asked the lady with a concerned expression. Hanbin tried to open his mouth to assure her that he was fine, but he couldn't. It was not fine at all. Tears began to flow, and the woman hugged him. It was strange for him, yet comforting at the same time. Was this what a hug felt like?

"Do you want me to call someone?" she asked again, concerned. Hanbin wanted to say he didn't need anyone, that he was fine alone, but he wasn't. "No, I have no one. I was just leaving, sorry to bother you, and thank you," he murmured, trying to get up, but the pain overwhelmed him.

"I can't let you leave like this. Let's take care of you," the woman said firmly. Hanbin tried to refuse, but she wouldn't let him. "Kid, I'm not arguing. You have no one to call, I won't let you die here. Please, let me take care of you, okay?" She spoke with kindness, and Hanbin felt like a monster receiving so much concern.

"I don't deserve your concern; I'm horrible, I deserve to die," Hanbin sobbed. The woman consoled him: "No one deserves to die, kid. Maybe God sent me here to give you a chance. You deserve to live; I don't think you're as terrible as you believe. Let me help you."

"Ma'am, I like men, I kissed one. God condemns that; I don't deserve to live," Hanbin poured out. "Is your biggest crime liking men? Kid, people are doing terrible things and living quietly. Thinking you don't deserve to live just because you like someone that you believe God condemns shows that you're not that terrible person. You deserve to live. Let me help you, please. I can't leave you like this."

Hanbin felt confused but was so exhausted that he ended up accepting the help. He would figure out what to do next later on.

Hanbin initially considered accepting Eunbi's help and leaving soon, but the lady was more persistent than she seemed. Without him realizing, weeks had passed since he had been at her house. Eunbi never questioned, never demanded anything. She treated him so well that Hanbin felt at home, even though he didn't feel deserving of it. He saw himself as a horrible person, but Eunbi constantly disagreed with that view, something he found hard to accept. He also noticed that the lady lived alone; perhaps she saw him as company. Hanbin didn't believe he was the best company for someone, but Eunbi seemed to appreciate his presence. Why not continue until she realized how terrible he was?

"Hanbin, maybe you should consider seeing a psychologist," suggested Eunbi.

"I'm not crazy, I don't need a psychologist," Hanbin responded defensively.

"I go to a psychologist, do you think I'm crazy?"

"No," Hanbin replied softly.

"Psychologists aren't just for people who are 'crazy.' I think you should give it a chance. If you go a few times and feel it's not for you, that's okay, you don't have to continue. But I would like you to try," said Eunbi. Hanbin couldn't refuse and agreed.

Hanbin went through many years and managed to rebuild his life, largely thanks to the support of Eunbi, who became his only family. His past, especially his old family, is a distant and painful memory that he preferred to leave behind. He wasn't interested in knowing how they were; it didn't matter to him anymore. Every day, Hanbin tries to forgive himself for everything that happened, but there's something in his life that he still hasn't resolved: Zhang Hao. Since the day he kissed him, he never saw him again. He doesn't know how Hao is, but he prays that he's well and happy. Hanbin has a selfish desire to find Hao, to apologize, even knowing that Hao might never forgive him. He wants, in some way, to make up for at least a part of what he did to him.

Currently, Hanbin works as a barista in a coffee shop. There, he made friends with Matthew, his best friend. He's living a quiet life, working and living with Eunbi, who insists that he should find a boyfriend, encouraging him to do so. With Matthew's support, he listens to the suggestions, but so far, he hasn't found someone who interests him. He just smiles at the idea.

Matthew arranged a meeting to introduce his new boyfriend to Hanbin, choosing a bar as the location. Hanbin arrives late due to chaotic traffic and, upon reaching the table, the sight leaves him breathless: it's Zhang Hao, the person he's been looking for the most recently. The vague memory of finding Hao beautiful grows; his features have matured, and he remains charismatic. Glasses on his face, a bit heavier, but Hao seems well, healthy. Hanbin feels an almost suffocating emotion, as if he could cry right there.

"This is Taerae, my boyfriend," Matthew announces, interrupting his thoughts. Taerae has a friendly smile, and he's a handsome guy.

"Pleasure to finally meet you, Taerae. Matthew talks A LOT about you," Hanbin greets Taerae.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hanbin," Taerae replies politely. He then introduces Hao as his best friend.

"Pleasure, Zhang Hao," Hao greets Hanbin, extending his hand, trying to control his trembling. Meeting Hanbin there wasn't part of Hao's plans.

"Pleasure, Hanbin," replies Hanbin, and their hands meet. Hao's hands are large and soft, while Hanbin's are sweaty, revealing his unexpected agitation.

Matthew settles next to Taerae, leaving only one empty seat, next to Hao, and Hanbin occupies that seat. Sitting side by side, the two tall, broad-shouldered men almost touch; the small table makes closeness inevitable. Hanbin tries his best not to bother Hao, avoiding any physical contact.

The conversation flows across the table, with Taerae's affection for Matthew evident on his face. While discussions carry on, Hanbin and Hao maintain a silent distance, avoiding exchanging words with each other. At one point, Matthew and Taerae quickly excuse themselves, leaving Hanbin and Hao alone at the table. Hanbin understands what Matthew is trying to do; it's not just an introduction to a new boyfriend but a double date. He finds it ironic that his friend wants to bring him closer to someone who possibly intensely despises him.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you, Hanbin," Hao breaks the silence, taking a sip from his glass afterward. Yet, he doesn't turn, still not having the courage to face Hanbin. Hanbin is confused. Sorry for what? If anyone should feel sorry, it's Hanbin, for everything he did to Hao. "I know what your father did to you after he saw the picture of us kissing."

"You saw the picture?" Hanbin asks, unsure of what happened to Hao after the kiss.

"It was kind of impossible not to. I was searching for answers too, wanted to know why you kissed me. Was it a new game for you? Tired of what you were doing to me and wanted to try something new?" Hanbin feels tears welling up in his eyes. He was a horrible person.

"I'm sorry, Hao. I want to ask for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it, and you have every right to hate me forever. But if you allow me, I'd like to work towards earning your forgiveness." Hanbin holds back his tears, his voice faltering. Hao finally turns to look Hanbin in the eyes.

"I don't hold a grudge against you, Hanbin. It would just drain my energy. I also can't say I've forgiven you. Hanbin, I hated you so much. I loathed going to school because of you. I didn't want to go because I knew I'd encounter you, and you'd engage in more of those 'games.' Hanbin does his best not to cry. He doesn't deserve to cry in front of Hao, not when he's the one who made the other suffer so much. 'But Jihoo made me realize that you were also a victim.' Hanbin is confused. Jihoo?

"When he posted the photo, I didn't care. I wasn't staying at that school anymore. I was so tired that I didn't care if it was just another one of your games, this time with you involved. But then I found out it wasn't your game; it was only his. And that you were kicked out of your home by your father for being gay, and you were no longer part of the Sungs. He threw a party to celebrate. I saw the posts from the school crowd. A lot of things started to make sense. I'm sorry you didn't have a supportive family. I hope you're doing okay now," Hao says, turning forward again. Hanbin can't hold back the tears. Hao is so kind, wishing him well when he should hate him.

"I'm sorry, Hao. I'm sorry for what I did to you and for not stopping Jihoo. I should have done something."

"Hanbin, unbelievably, you did more than anyone else at that school. I know it was you who left the medications and bandages for me." Hanbin looks at Hao in shock. How did he know?

"At first, I had no idea, but I saw you once leaving near where I was. Later, I noticed your bag always seemed fuller than before. Everyone saw how I was, but no one did anything. You were the only one who acted. So, thank you. My scars would've been worse if it weren't for you." Hao turns, a small smile on his lips. Hanbin's heart races. "In the end, we're both victims, Hanbin. Your father's upbringing shaped your behavior, and you wanted to be the villain in my story to make him proud. But our stories had a worse villain, Hwang Jihoo. So, I don't hate you, if that's your fear. But I can't say my heart has fully forgiven you either. I think we should start from scratch, leave everything behind, and get to know each other for real, of course, if you want."

"I do." Hanbin interrupts Hao before he can continue. Hao looks surprised at Hanbin, who blushes for interrupting and responding so quickly. He hears a soft chuckle from Hao. It's the first time he's heard him laugh, and Hanbin likes the sound.

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Zhang Hao. I'm 25, and I teach music." He extends his hand to Hanbin.

"Pleasure, I'm Hanbin. I'm 25, and I work as a barista." Hanbin takes Hao's hand, smiling, and Hao mirrors the smile.

"You work with Matthew, right?" Hao asks.

"Yeah, I met him there, and he became my best friend at a café nearby. If you ever want to stop by for a coffee, it's on the house," Hanbin offers.

"You shouldn't offer free coffee to a teacher, Hanbin. I might get you fired from showing up too often," Hao says, smiling at Hanbin, who feels his heart race.

"Okay, if it's for you," Hanbin replies, embarrassed. He's never felt this way around anyone. Near Hao, suddenly, everything is different.

Taerae and Matthew return to the table, and now Hanbin and Hao are more at ease. They talk, their shoulders touch, and Hanbin feels his face flush and his heart beat faster. He feels silly. Maybe he had a chance with Hao before. Now, seeking his forgiveness is his top priority. And if all goes well, maybe they could become friends. Hao, in turn, is glad to see Hanbin doing well. After learning about what happened to him and how terrible his father was, his hatred has diminished. The terrible upbringing Hanbin received affected not only his life but also others'. He genuinely wishes Hanbin gets forgiveness because he wants to move forward. "I'm rooting for you, Hanbin. Please, earn forgiveness from my heart."

Two years have passed since Hao and Hanbin had that conversation. Hao wasn't kidding when he said Hanbin shouldn't offer free coffee to a teacher. Every day, he showed up at Hanbin's café and grabbed a coffee, and Hanbin always paid. They became very close and were practically inseparable; whenever one showed up, the other followed soon after.

Hao is in the café, asking for another free coffee.

"Cappuccino, Hao?"

"Please, Binnie," Hao replies as Hanbin prepares the coffee, his cheeks slightly blushing. Hao started calling him Binnie some time ago, but Hanbin still hasn't gotten used to the nickname. His heart always races when he hears it.

"There you go, a carefully crafted cappuccino for you," Hanbin hands it to Hao.

"Thank you, Binnie. Later, when you're leaving, I want to talk to you, is that okay?" Hao asks, visibly nervous.

"Of course, Hao. Did something happen?" Hanbin takes Hao's hands, concerned.

"Nothing serious, don't worry. See you later," Hao gives Hanbin a kiss on the cheek and rushes out, wearing a huge smile so Hanbin won't notice. Hanbin, on the other hand, has red cheeks, watching Hao leave.

"How long are you two going to keep dancing around each other?" Matthew's voice interrupts his thoughts.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hanbin turns, trying to get back to work.

"You might be clueless, Hanbin, but not that clueless. You know exactly what I'm talking about. If I knew you'd both be dragging this out for so long, I wouldn't have introduced you that night."

"I've told you, Matt, Hao would never want anything more with me. Having him as a friend is enough for me," Hanbin says, his heart sinking as he utters those words. "Don't be selfish, Hanbin. Having him as a friend is much more than you deserve, and you know it," he tries to convince himself.

"Well, I won't meddle between you two. Seems like there's something much bigger going on that I understand. But I'm rooting for you both, just so you know," Matthew says, and they both get back to work.

Hao arrives before Hanbin's shift ends and picks a table as he waits. He watches Hanbin working, looking incredible in the barista uniform. But what makes him even more beautiful is the smile that adorns his face. Hao didn't know Hanbin had such captivating smiles. He noticed small creases on Hanbin's cheeks when he smiled. Perhaps in adolescence, Hanbin's smiles weren't as genuine and therefore not as charming as they are now. Hanbin seems unaware of the impact he has on people. Most customers come here because of the friendly and handsome barista.

"Hao, I'm almost done. Here's a piece of strawberry cake for you while you wait," Hanbin appears with the cake in hand.

"No rush, Binnie. Finish your work calmly. I'm not in a hurry, and I can wait," Hao responds with a smile. Hanbin understands that Hao is waiting, but he feels a growing sense of urgency within himself. He longs for Hao's company, genuinely curious about what he wants to talk about.

Hao silently enjoys his cake while continuing to watch Hanbin work. After a while, Hanbin rushes over to his table. His hair is tousled, and Hao smiles, fixing his strands, finding him adorable.

"Done," Hanbin says, breathless, in front of him.

"Let's go," Hao takes Hanbin's hand, and together they leave the café.

Suddenly, without exactly knowing when, they are always holding hands, something Hao doesn't complain about at all. He appreciates the warmth of Hanbin's hand in his, always cold.

"Where are we going?" Hanbin asks.

"To the park nearby," Hao replies, and hand in hand, they head to the park, chatting about their day until they both sit down on a bench.

Hao's heart raced erratically; he could hardly believe what he was about to do. The past version of himself would call the idea madness. Facing Hanbin, he drew closer and, in a surprising move, pressed his lips against Hanbin's. Hanbin was stunned, wide-eyed at the unexpected gesture. It was a simple kiss, yet both felt their faces flush and hearts race, as if they had just finished running a marathon. Hanbin could hardly believe what had just happened. Was he dreaming? Was this Hao's way of getting back at him? The possibility stung his heart, causing tears to fall unknowingly.

"Hanbin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I should have asked for permission. I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Hao lamented, trying to wipe away Hanbin's tears. He felt devastated for misunderstanding everything. How could he ever think he had a chance with Hanbin? He knew he never would.

"The problem is that I want to, Hao. I want to so badly, but I don't deserve it after everything," confessed Hanbin, distressed.

"I want it too, Hanbin. I want to kiss you, be with you, be happy by your side. I already am happy, but I want more, and we deserve it. But if you're not ready, it's okay, Binnie. I can wait," expressed Hao, drawing closer to Hanbin's face and caressing it as Hanbin closed his eyes. "I'm going to kiss you again, Hanbin. If you don't want to, please stop me," he said, moving in slowly, giving Hanbin a chance to interrupt. However, Hanbin couldn't resist, not when he had longed for it for so long.

Hao closes the distance, kissing Hanbin. This time, it's not a simple peck; it's a real kiss. He requests entry, and Hanbin allows it, both exploring each other's lips. Hao allows himself to indulge more than the first time when he was too shocked. Hanbin, in turn, quenches the longing for something he missed a lot. Hao's lips remain soft, and kissing him now feels much better. He tastes the strawberry cake he had given Hao earlier. After catching their breath, they end the kiss with sweet pecks. Hanbin's face is flushed, and Hao finds it adorable, resembling a peach in that state. Hao's glasses are askew, and Hanbin fixes them, finding it cute and feeling proud that he was the one who messed up Hao's glasses.

"Hanbin, I like you. I don't know when it happened, but people were saying we were dating, and I didn't feel like disagreeing. On the contrary, when someone said we weren't a thing, I got angry. Suddenly, I started to have this crazy urge to kiss you, felt jealous, and wanted your attention just for me. I want you to be mine," Hao confessed, looking into Hanbin's eyes with sincerity.

"I like you a lot too, Hao. For a long time, even when I was stupid and didn't understand my feelings. Thank you for liking me too. I promise to always do my best to make you happy, so you won't regret giving me this chance," Hanbin replied, giving Hao a peck.

"I'm looking forward to it, Binnie," Hao said, kissing Hanbin again.