Chapter Text
At Hillerska boarding school, where the royalty of the student society gathered, two boys stood out for the unique connection they shared.
Simon and Wilhelm were roommates, their families as distinct as their personalities.
Simon, with expressive eyes and a charming smile, was the son of a caring and devoted mother. Linda was a strong presence in his life, always supporting and encouraging him, becoming a source of inspiration.
However, the same couldn't be said about his father, Micke, who, once loving and attentive, spiraled into despair after losing his job. Drowning in bottles, he sought solace in alcohol to fill the void left by his failure.
Despite not being wealthy, Simon earned his place in the elite boarding school based on merit and grades.
"You're so smart! Seriously, it's infuriating." Wilhelm exclaimed as they lay on their single beds, Simon holding a pencil, helping Wilhelm with a math problem.
"I'm not! This exercise is easy, you just need to pay attention." Simon replied, warmly smiling at his friend.
On the other side, Wilhelm, with golden hair and sparkling eyes, came from a different family. His businessman father was busy, rarely present.
His mother, Kristina, was a challenging woman, some might say narcissistic, but Wilhelm preferred to call her "complicated."
Despite their contrasting family backgrounds, Simon and Wilhelm found comfort in each other.
In their shared room, they created a space where they could speak freely without fear of judgment.
"Hey, Wille... can I talk to you?" Simon asked, sitting on his bed, watching Wilhelm lying and scrolling through his phone.
"Hey, sure." Wilhelm replied without taking his eyes off the screen.
After a moment of silence, Simon sighed heavily before confessing, "I... I think I'm starting to like someone."
Wilhelm averted his gaze from the screen, a faint smile forming on his lips. "Oh, really? That's amazing! Who's the lucky one?" he asked with genuine curiosity.
Simon told Wilhelm that he is gay last year, when they were still in their first year of high school and had just become roommates.
Wilhelm unconditionally supported him, despite not fully understanding. He had no prejudice, he was an open-minded guy who believed love is love for everyone.
Except for himself.
Simon hesitated before answering, "It's Adam, that guy from the third year I told you about, remember?"
Wilhelm's smile seemed to freeze for a brief moment, but he quickly disguised it with a nod. "Oh, right! He's a cool guy." he responded, trying not to reveal the slight pang in his chest.
Simon noticed Wilhelm's subtle reaction but decided not to press. Their friendship was built on trust, and he knew if Wilhelm wanted to share something, he would do it willingly. Instead, he continued,
"I'm thinking about asking him out... I heard some rumors that he likes guys, but I'm not sure."
Wilhelm shrugged, trying to appear disinterested, but emotions burned within him.
"I don't know, but maybe you should make sure first. Do you... want me to ask him?" Wilhelm suggested, genuinely wanting to help his friend.
"Would you do that for me? Oh, thank you, Wille!"
"We have rowing practice together in a bit, I'll ask then. Is that okay?" Wilhelm said, smiling gently, getting up to grab his Hillerska hoodie from the crumpled pile on the floor.
"Sure." Simon confirmed, watching Wilhelm run his fingers through his blond hair. "Your hair looks good like that." he remarked, genuinely enchanted by how Wille's hair looked with a few thick strands falling forward.
He had grown a lot since last summer. His voice had deepened, and his smooth muscles had become more toned, likely due to rowing. His chiseled abs and broad shoulders always left Simon momentarily breathless, but he would never admit that to himself.
"Oh... thanks." Wilhelm replied, blushing like a ripe tomato, feeling a warmth forming in his chest with the compliment.
Well, that's normal, right?
Everyone feels this way when receiving compliments. It's entirely common.
Wilhelm finished arranging his backpack and headed to the door, where, before leaving, he bid farewell to Simon, as he always did before going to practice.
"I'll be back in a bit, see you later." he waved with one hand, stopping for a few seconds to observe how Simon looked handsome with his tousled curls.
---
During the rowing class, Wilhelm and Adam were in the boat, rowing together on the serene school lake. The wind caressed their faces as the gentle sound of water surrounded them.
While rowing, Wilhelm decided to broach the subject on his mind. With a bit of nervousness, he asked, "Adam, can I ask you something personal?"
Adam looked at him with curiosity but nodded with a friendly smile. "Sure, Wille. What's up?"
Wilhelm took a deep breath before continuing, "Do you... do you like guys?"
Adam raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised by the unexpected question, but answered honestly, "Yeah. Why?"
"Well, there's a friend of mine who's interested in you," Wilhelm felt a tightening in his chest but pushed through. "It's Simon, from my class, you know?"
Adam's oars hesitated for a moment, and he looked at Wilhelm with an intrigued expression. "Wait, seriously? He's into me?" he asked, the tone shifting from surprise to curiosity.
Wilhelm nodded, standing firm in his decision to help Simon. "Yeah, so I think he wants to know if you feel the same way."
Adam smiled sweetly and genuinely. "I hadn't noticed... But, I think I'm interested in him too," he confessed, looking at Wilhelm with a twinkle in his eyes. "He's so fucking hot."
Adam's words hit Wilhelm like an arrow. The jealousy he was trying to ignore took shape, but he tried to disguise it with a forced smile. "Yeah... he is." he said, trying to conceal the uneasiness he felt.
Simon is hot, Wilhelm knows it, everyone knows it. Simon is damn hot, but Adam has no right to say it out loud.
He has no right to talk about his best friend like that, especially without even knowing him.
Does he even know Simon's last name? Of course not. He knows nothing about Simon, and Wilhelm hopes it stays that way.
As they continued rowing side by side, the conversation with Adam echoed in Wilhelm's mind. He couldn't completely understand why he felt this slight jealousy. After all, Simon was just a friend and a roommate.
Maybe it's because they're so close, and Wille was afraid Simon would spend more time with Adam than with him, right?
The lake remained calm, reflecting Wilhelm's doubts and emotions as he tried to understand them.
---
After the rowing class, Wilhelm returned to the dormitory, still feeling tense and confused. He just wanted to lay his head on the pillow and sleep to try to sort out his feelings.
However, upon opening the room door, he heard Simon's excited voice calling for him. "Wille! Wille, come here, I need to know what Adam said!"
Wilhelm sighed, knowing he couldn't avoid the conversation. He approached Simon, still sweaty from rowing, and tried to smile as best he could. "Well... he said he's interested in you too."
Simon looked at him with sparkling eyes, full of curiosity. "Oh my god!" Simon exclaimed, overflowing with joy.
Wilhelm's heart tightened again, but he tried to genuinely be happy for Simon. "I'm happy for you two," he replied, attempting to hide the jealousy still haunting him.
Simon noticed the slight tension in Wilhelm and approached, embracing him warmly. "Thank you, Wille. You've helped me a lot with this. Without your help, maybe I wouldn't have had the courage to ask him out. You're the best friend anyone could have."
He reciprocated the hug, feeling Simon's body warmth seeping into his being.
"I'm here for you, Simon. I always will be." Wilhelm said, his voice slightly choked. He knew their friendship was precious, and the jealousy was just a passing and completely normal part of this situation.
He loved Simon, as a friend, and Simon loved him. Wilhelm was sure that these confusing feelings would soon fade away, allowing him to be happy for his friend finally getting into a relationship.
---
The next day, in the economics class, Wilhelm, Simon, and Adam sat together in the same row. The economics class took place every Friday, bringing together students from all grades.
The atmosphere was relaxed, but the glances between Simon and Adam betrayed a not-so-subtle exchange of messages through little notes.
Wilhelm couldn't help but feel jealous watching the exchange of looks and smiles between the two. He tried to focus on the class, but the urge to grab those notes and tear them up shouted a bit louder.
During the teacher's explanation, Wilhelm noticed that, from time to time, Simon and Adam diverted their attention to exchange more discreet notes.
As the minutes dragged on, Wilhelm began to feel uncomfortable in his own silence. He wanted to express his feelings, but at the same time, he didn't want to be an obstacle to Simon's happiness.
He seemed excited passing those notes to Adam, and Wilhelm didn't want to spoil that. He just... For some reason, he wished those notes were passed to him, not Adam. He wanted to be the reason for Simon's laughter, NOT ADAM.
Honestly, Adam is a real jerk. Not that he's mean or anything, he's just... clueless. He didn't deserve Simon. Never would. Not in a million years.
Simon is an amazing, smart, and hardworking guy, and Adam is just Adam. He's nothing special. He doesn't ace every possible test, he doesn't have a charming voice that melts everyone who hears it, he doesn't have an above-average sense of humor that makes everyone around him burst into laughter.
He's nobody, and Simon is everything.
Simon deserved someone nice, who genuinely likes him and is on a high standard just like him.
A jerk like Adam shouldn't even come close to Simon, actually. Simon is a unique deity who deserves to be cared for and loved only by people of his choosing.
Okay, maybe Wille went a bit overboard there.
But still, Simon is special, and he deserves someone as special as him, and Wille is absolutely certain that Adam is not special at all.
Seriously, he posts pictures fishing every weekend. What kind of person posts fishing pictures every weekend???
As the class neared its end, the teacher asked everyone to submit the group projects. Simon and Adam exchanged one last glance before stashing the notes and focusing on the task.
"Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?" Wilhelm asked, leaving the room for a few minutes as soon as the teacher allowed it.
In the empty hallway, he took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. Doubts still haunted him, but he knew he needed to be honest with himself.
Upon returning to the classroom, he saw Simon and Adam chatting animatedly, but with Wilhelm's presence, the atmosphere became more tense.
"Did you submit the project?" he asked, trying to sound casual.
Simon and Adam nodded, exchanging a quick look before answering. "Yes, we already did," Adam said.
Wilhelm forced a smile. "Alright." He wanted to say more, but the words seemed stuck in his throat.
As they walked together to the next class, Wilhelm found himself caught between the desire to express his feelings and the fear of ruining the friendship with Simon. He realized he needed to find the courage to confront his emotions and face the situation head-on.
---
Later, after the class, Wilhelm and Simon returned to their shared room. As they sat on their beds, Wilhelm was anxious to know what was on the notes Adam insisted on passing to him.
"So, how was the invitation? What did he say?" Wilhelm presumed, trying to sound casual, but his heart was beating faster than he'd like to admit.
"He invited me to go for a walk by the lake in the evening. We'll get to know each other better," Simon replied excitedly.
Wilhelm couldn't help but laugh with a hint of irony. "You know he just wants to hook up with you, right?"
Simon furrowed his brow, a bit confused by Wilhelm's comment. "No?? That's not it. He just wants us to get to know each other better, an opportunity to spend some time together."
Wilhelm felt a bit guilty for his exaggerated reaction and, at the same time, frustrated for not being able to control his jealousy. "Sorry, I just... worry, you know? You're my best friend, and I don't want you to get hurt," he explained, trying to redeem himself.
Simon gave a gentle smile, understanding Wilhelm's concern. "I get it, but don't worry too much. I can take care of myself."
Wilhelm sighed, deciding to risk a more personal question. "Simon, have you ever kissed someone before?" he asked, feeling insecure about broaching the subject.
Simon was surprised by the question but answered honestly, "No, I've never kissed anyone. Why?"
"Well, I have kissed someone before." Wilhelm hesitated for a moment. "Maybe I can help you, if you want... to learn, I mean."
Simon looked at him, surprised by the offer but also curious. He thought for a moment before responding, "I... I don't know, Wille. I don't want you to feel obligated to do this for me."
Wilhelm smiled, trying to reassure his friend. "It's not an obligation, Simon. I want to help you, if you want to learn for your date with Adam," he said, attempting to convey confidence.
After another moment of hesitation, Simon nodded. "Okay, then... teach me."
Wilhelm felt his heart racing but also a sense of excitement.
They moved closer to each other, their eyes meeting intensely before they kissed.
The kiss was gentle, as if they were exploring unknown territory together. Simon hesitated a bit at first, but soon he let himself be carried away by the moment, feeling safe in Wilhelm's arms.
For some unknown reason, Wilhelm wanted to kiss Simon better than Adam would ever kiss him. He wanted to show Simon, show that he was better than Adam.
After analyzing Simon's reactions to the touches, Wilhelm grew bolder and let his warm, wet tongue enter Simon's mouth, tasting like mint.
It made slow movements throughout his mouth while their lips touched, it felt so good that it gave Simon shivers.
"That was... good," Simon said, smiling shyly and pulling away from Wilhelm's lips.
Wilhelm felt warmth coursing through his body, but also a wave of confusion. He liked the kiss more than he expected, and that left him bewildered. He tried to change the subject, knowing Simon was going on a date with Adam in an hour.
"So, are you going out with him, huh? Well, at least... now you know how to kiss," Wilhelm said, trying to lighten the mood and hide the confusion in his voice.
Simon nodded, still smiling, and went to the bathroom to get ready for the date with Adam.
While alone in the room, Wilhelm tried to comprehend what had happened. The kiss with Simon stirred his emotions in a way he had never experienced before. He began to question his own feelings and preferences.
Wait, did he like boys?
That question echoed in his mind, leaving him restless. He had never thought about his sexuality in this way before. But, at the same time, the kiss with Simon seemed to have ignited something within him that couldn't be ignored.
Wilhelm felt confused but also curious. He realized he needed to explore these feelings calmly and respect the time to understand his own emotions.
Still with a racing heart, he decided to put the matter aside for now and focus on supporting Simon in his date with Adam.