Chapter Text
There has to be some proper etiquette about attending an ex-girlfriend's party—some kind of handbook, even, since the world is vast enough Lena Luthor cannot possibly be the only person in this impossible situation.
But if there is, she hasn't figured it out yet, and maybe that's why her poor decisions have led her to where she is. Sam had insisted, Jess had begrudgingly agreed, Lena is now sitting on a couch drinking a gross mix of whiskey and canned pineapple juice in Veronica Sinclair’s townhouse. It seems like Veronica has invited as many of their former rich, snobbish classmates from their old boarding school that she could find, and that's enough to make Lena double down on her efforts to finish her awful drink.
The only upside is that Jack hasn't left her side all night. Lena knows that he, Sam, and Jess have some unspoken rule not to leave her alone in the lion’s den, but she can't even be annoyed at the fact that she is being babysat for the evening; at the very least, it guarantees Veronica won’t try to talk to her tonight.
“Do you need a refill?” Jack asks suddenly, and when Lena looks up, she follows his gaze to the cute girl from their chem lab standing at the kitchen counter.
Lena’s cup is still half full, but she would be a horrible friend if she didn't let him have this, so she sets her cup down on the coffee table and says, “Sure,” taking care that the cup’s contents don’t slosh over. “I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick.”
He isn’t listening at this point, but that’s alright. It’s not like Lena actually needs to use the bathroom.
Because here’s the thing. She'll play the part of a good-natured ex who is cordial, but she will not let Veronica goad her about it. It’s not even that Veronica will treat her cruelly, but Veronica can be quite heartless when drunk, and it's a 50/50 chance she will purposefully cause trouble. If a chance of being alone with Veronica will lead to a re-visit of their messy breakup, Lena refuses to give the poor company kept tonight the satisfaction of seeing her at her lowest.
Lena stands at the bathroom sink instead, stares blankly at her reflection for a few minutes. A few strands have escaped her ponytail, and with a frustrated huff, she takes it down so she won't look as unrefined as she feels. Lena has just begun to comb her fingers through the frizzing ends when, suddenly, the door bangs open.
The intruding stranger doesn't notice the room is occupied, carefully closing the door behind her as Lena watches. In fact, there's no telling how the blonde girl who has barged her way in finally realizes it—maybe Lena breathed too hard, or shifted to the side loud enough to be heard—but her back stiffens, and when she whirls around, she visibly starts.
“Oh, gosh,” she says. “I didn't know this bathroom was taken.”
Lena only blinks in response. She's not so much taken aback as she is surprised, because she knows this stranger: Kara Danvers, who is always the talk of the school when lacrosse season starts. Hell, Kara is practically the school’s golden girl, and that quite notably distinguishes her from this crowd.
“It's alright,” Lena finds herself saying. “I wasn't using the bathroom, I was just…” She gestures loosely to the mirror but doesn't finish her thought.
“I was just trying to find somewhere to hide, for a bit,” Kara confesses, sheepish. “There aren't many other options.”
“Right.” Lena finds it odd that anyone would want to hide at Veronica’s party. Every other person outside will undoubtedly be making spectacles of themselves for her attention, not the opposite. “Well, I’ll leave you alone.”
“Oh, no, you don't have to leave,” Kara says. “If anything, I'm the one crashing your…uh, routine.” It's clear she also has no idea why Lena is hiding out here, too, and the idea of the two of them having something in common is a funny thought.
“Well, if you're sure,” Lena says, and Kara awkwardly leans her back against the bathroom door and hums in agreement. Lena turns back to the mirror, not sure what else to do; a strange feeling crawls up her spine and she's not sure what it is, but it makes her very aware of the limited space they're occupying.
Kara begins to tap away on her phone like she's texting, and Lena carefully wipes off her lipstick and then reapplies it just because she needs to look equally busy. She manages to stretch this task into at least five minutes, just finishing her last swoop when all of a sudden Kara speaks.
“Do you mind if I—?” Before Lena realizes what's happening, Kara is moving, apologetically reaching past Lena for some tissue paper. This means she brushes up against Lena, the sleeve of her letterman jacket ghosting against Lena's bare midriff. “Sorry,” she adds, just as Lena gets a whiff of the smell of cheap beer hanging off Kara’s shirt. “Some guy dropped his drink on me.”
And as Kara mindlessly dabs at her neck, Lena stares, struck with the realization that Kara Danvers is as out of place as Lena is. It’s a rarity, and also, strangely somewhat of a comfort.
“Don't take this the wrong way,” Lena blurts out, overcome with an inability to contain her curiosity, “but how come you're here? I didn't know you knew Veronica.”
“Veronica Sinclair? Nah, I don't know her. Heard of her, obviously,” Kara says. “But I came here with my sister. She was invited by Sam…not sure if you know her.”
That explains why Sam was so eager to come. “Sam Arias? Yes, she's my friend.”
Kara brightens. “Oh, really? So you must be—you're that Lena. I mean, I already knew your name was Lena. But now I know you're—uh, you're Sam’s Lena.” She pauses. “I'm Kara, by the way.”
Lena almost says I know. Instead, she attempts a polite smile and says, “Small world. So you must be a third wheel tonight, I assume?”
“And a designated driver,” Kara says, gingerly peeling back her sticky shirt collar. “Double the fun.”
“Well, I can definitely see why you're trying to hide,” Lena remarks. “It's never fun to crash someone else's date.”
“Oh no, I'm not hiding from Sam and Alex. Just…my ex is here,” Kara says. “So.” She stuffs her hands in her pockets and shrugs, swaying all too close in the process.
“I'll one-up you: my ex is the one hosting this party,” Lena says. “So.”
That makes Kara laugh. “Okay. I feel slightly better about my situation, then.” She has all too comfortably gravitated to the spot right beside the mirror, and when Lena looks at her again she can see her face clearer.
Kara has a very nice smile. And a way that she chews on her lower lip that’s…well, a bit distracting. She is not the type of girl that Lena would usually go for, but suddenly that’s all she can think about. One brush of clothes and an attractive smile—is that really all it takes? Maybe not. Maybe Lena is just enamored with the idea of being able to say to hell with it, and go for something that throws off the status quo.
Lena swallows and forces herself to look away back at her own reflection. “Do you think anyone is going to come looking for us?”
“Maybe,” Kara says, “but I really hope not.”
“I'm not in any rush to get back out there either,” Lena confesses, and when she risks a glance at Kara, she finds Kara still smiling—a softer smile, amused and simple.
“Then I guess we're partners in crime,” Kara says, “holding this bathroom hostage from anyone else.” She tolts her head to the floor and asks, “Want to sit?”
“On the floor?”
“Well, you can take the bathtub, but it doesn't look very comfortable,” Kara says. “And you can sit on my jacket!” Before Lena even agrees, she has yanked said jacket off and begins carefully folding it up.
“I don't—it's really fine,” Lena assures her. “I'd rather not.”
Kara immediately straightens up, but her jacket remains on the floor. “You’re right, it wouldn't be very comfortable,” she says. “Man, I wish we could get into the bedroom.” In a panic, she meets Lena’s eyes to assure her, “Because it would be more comfortable. Not for…any other reasons.”
And despite everything telling Lena to leave—to not be so reckless, so stupid—she is incredibly, and undeniably, charmed. “Kara,” she says, testing the name on her tongue, “are you propositioning me?”
Kara's eyes go wide. “Not on purpose.”
Lena sweeps her hair off her shoulder, adjusting her shirt in a way Jack has teasingly called dangerous, and holds her breath for an agonizing second. She needn't have worried; Kara is watching her every movement, and Lena feels a jolt of relief. She's never been one to be coy about attraction, but knowing that it's mutual is obviously preferable.
“I'm only teasing,” Lena tells her patiently, and Kara nods, finally averting her eyes with a faint flush to her cheeks.
“I should go,” Kara blurts out. “Alex is probably looking for me.”
“What about your ex?”
“Siobhan? She’ll—I'm sure she's gone.” Kara bends down to gather her letterman, shrugging it on like battle armor. “Or I could just go wait for my sister in my car.”
Lena wets her bottom lip with her tongue and considers her next words very carefully. “What if your sister got a ride with the rest of my friends? And if you have no reason to stay, maybe…we could get out of here?”
Kara freezes mid-adjustment of her sleeves. “Together?” she asks, half-nervous, but definitely half-hopeful.
It is a warm, pleasant feeling to be wanted, and Lena revels in it; moves closer to Kara, traces the buttons of her jacket. “Yes,” she says. “One one condition.”
“Yeah?” Kara leans forward, head lowering like she might kiss Lena, but she waits.
“We have to be discreet,” Lena manages, even with the distraction of Kara being so achingly close. “I can’t…”
She has too much to think about. Veronica. Her reputation. The fact that being seen with a girl like Kara might as well be social suicide.
Strangely enough, Kara seems to understand. “Okay,” she says, and takes a step back. “I can leave first, and you can meet me outside?”
“That works.” But Lena’s eyes remain trained on Kara’s mouth, and in an instant, their kiss is inevitable; the first instant of contact makes Lena gasp, and then Kara’s hands are hot on her hips—thumbs brushing the bare skin her crop top doesn’t cover—and she is kissing Lena so insistently it feels like she’s on fire.
Lena’s lipstick is probably getting smeared to all hell, but she can’t bring herself to care. She feels herself be backed up against the sink and it should be slightly uncomfortable, but the feeling of Kara’s tongue against hers is distracting enough to make everything else disappear.
Then Kara is pulling back, and Lena is left with a heaving chest and no breath in her lungs, and she starts to ask why Kara’s stopping before she feels lips slowly drift to the edge of her jaw. A hot kiss skates along the edge of her cheek next, and then lower again, until Kara has reached her neck. All Lena can do is tangle her fingers in Kara’s hair to pull her closer.
Kara’s fingertips slide up her body until they’re dipping slightly underneath Lena’s shirt, a tight fit considering this crop top is Jess’s and that means that Lena’s chest fills it out significantly more. They aren’t high enough to reach Lena’s breasts—that might be pressing it—and fuck, that’s a really disheartening thought. Kara has really very nice hands, calloused and experienced enough to know how to press against Lena’s skin and drive her wild.
Lena can’t help it; she has to let go of Kara’s hair and tug one of those hands towards her pants. Kara slows all at once, mouth still hot against her neck but not kissing her anymore.
“Do you want me to—?” Kara licks her lips. Lena feels the way her tongue brushes against her neck in the process.
“Please,” Lena says, definitely not above begging, and she feels a smile against her skin, next.
“This isn’t really being discreet,” Kara whispers, but any reply on Lena’s lips gets lost once Kara actually unbuttons her jeans.
There isn’t too much room to work with there, either, but Kara powers through. Her hand is torturously slow; Lena tries to push her hips closer, getting a muffled laugh against her shoulder in response.
“Really?” Lena huffs.
“Okay, okay, I won’t tease,” Kara promises. She pulls back to look into Lena’s eyes, punctuated with a slow trace of her fingers from the top of her underwear then lower. “You have to be quiet, you know. To make sure we’re not caught.”
“Fine,” Lena says sharply. “Now can you just—”
Another smile, this one tinged with amusement, and then Kara is finally moving her underwear aside.
“Oh, fuck.”
“Shh,” Kara warns, pushing forward again to kiss Lena’s mouth again. This time, it is so slow it puts every nerve in Lena’s body on edge. Every movement from her hand is so lazy it almost feels like nothing, barely a ghost of her touch, and in her frustration Lena grips onto Kara’s jacket tightly.
When Kara finally begins to move more assuredly she whispers if that’s okay—if Lena is okay—and Lena nods so fast her forehead knocks against Kara’s cheek, gripping tightly on her jacket as if to will Kara to move faster.
And, blessedly, Kara does; she fucks Lena so hard that Lena has to throw her head back against the mirror, too overcome with numbing pleasure that it’s hard to function. Kara doesn’t seem to have any complaints, content to keep sucking at the skin of Lena’s neck, probably hard enough that she might leave a mark at the juncture of neck and shoulder.
It doesn’t escape Lena's notice that there’s a thrill to this, too; energy courses through her when she remembers the faint pounding bass coming from the walls is music playing, and that the sink digging into her hip is her ex-girlfriend’s, and that she and Kara are practically strangers. It’s all so unlike her sense of normal it’s making her head spin in the absolute best way.
A bang against the outside of the door makes Kara jump, head whipping around at the intrusive sound, but Lena cups her face in her hands and pulls her back.
“Ignore it,” she pleads. “I’m so close, I’m—I’m—”
Kara doesn’t have to be told twice. And when Lena’s orgasms comes it’s a wave of white-hot warmth; Lena nearly loses all sense of balance when Kara kisses her through her gasps of pleasure.
“How are you feeling?” Kara murmurs. “Okay?”
“Definitely.” Lena’s breath leaves her in a hitch, an embarrassingly sharp sound. “We really have to get out of here.”
Kara smiles, bashfully using her clean hand to brush against Lena’s cheek, thumb brushing against her bottom lip all too carefully. “Okay, but, you might want to fix your makeup first.” She’s one to talk considering the fact that Lena’s lipstick is smeared across her mouth, but before Lena can say so l, Kara is leaning in to kiss her once more. “Do you still want to meet me outside?”
“Yes,” Lena breathes against Kara’s lips, and with that—and another smile—Kara is slipping out the door.
Thankfully Kara has the sense to lock it before she does, because Lena has to take a minute before she drags her eyes away from the empty space Kara has disappeared from. Lena's jeans are unbuttoned and her hair’s a mess and her lipstick has been smeared down to her chin and yet—and yet. Here she is. Without an ounce of guilt. Without an ounce of regret.
And now she’s thinking that she can’t wait to see where this goes...in a purely uncommitted sense, of course. No use of making this into a big deal.
But first, she takes great care to reapply her lipstick. She has to be discreet, after all.
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.
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The click of a door closing is what makes Lena blink awake.
She is still half-asleep when she sits up, rubbing at her eye and shifting uncomfortably when she remembers she’s naked. She clutches the sheets to her chest and does a quick survey of the unfamiliar room; it certainly doesn't hold a candle to hers, the entire place messy and cramped and lackluster.
But at least she's alone. Lena finds yesterday’s clothes littering the floor—feels a little gross, unkempt, as she dresses—and wonders if it’s worth the humiliation to call someone to pick her up. Jack is absolutely not an option. Neither is Sam, though that’s for reasons involving Ruby. Jess might be her safest bet, but even then she’s sure to say something judgy.
Lena decides that an Uber will work. She has just pulled up the app when the door opens again, and the sound makes her jump; she clutches her phone to her chest and whirls around just in time to catch Kara Danvers’s apologetic smile.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Kara says. Kara is not dressed in yesterday’s clothes, and as such, looks far more put together. She is also carrying two cups of coffee, one of which she hands to Lena before she moves on, abandoning her own on her dresser. “I didn’t know how you liked your coffee, so I got it black. But there’s creamer and sugar in the kitchen.”
“Black is fine.” Lena welcomes a sip, relaxing slightly. She takes a seat on the edge of the bed and watches Kara riffle through her clothes, curious but not about to pry. “I’m sorry I fell asleep last night.”
“You did say I wore you out,” Kara says lightly, and it sounds like she’s smiling. “Don’t worry about it. I kinda liked waking up with you there.”
That makes Lena blink. She’s not sure what Kara thinks this is, but it’s not…that. God, if Sam could see her now, she’d laugh her ass off.
If Kara cares that Lena has fallen silent, she doesn’t show it. “Do you want something else to wear?” she says, finally locating what she’d been looking for: a large T-shirt, and a pair of yoga pants. “You’re welcome to use my shower, too.”
“That’s alright,” Lena says. “I’ve already called an Uber, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”
“Oh.” Kara sheepishly tucks the clothes back—haphazardly, Lena notices—and straightens up, shoving her hands in her pockets. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I really didn’t mind you staying over.”
Carefully, Lena sets her coffee cup on the dresser so she can stand up. Facing Kara she can see that Kara is blushing, can see the exact way that her eyes seem to fall to Lena’s mouth. It’s interesting, to say the least.
“I think I should,” Lena finally says, but her hands find purchase on the strings of Kara’s hoodie, inadvertently dragging her closer. “But thank you. For last night.”
“What are you thanking me for?” Kara is definitely shyer now, ducking her head and laughing like she can’t help it. “You’re very…” She trails off, but she rests her hands on Lena’s waist and pulls her body flush against hers like that doesn’t matter.
“I’m very what?”
“Unnerving,” Kara decides. “I can’t tell what you’re thinking.”
There is a charged moment where she simply slides her hands over Lena’s hips, and Lena curls her hands against the front of Kara’s sweater, and their eyes meet. Kara leans in like she wants to kiss her, but Lena hasn't brushed her teeth and she quickly avoids it, twisting out of Kara’s arms before she is too entranced by the scent of coffee and whatever shampoo Kara has used this morning.
Lena inhales sharply. “Look, I…” she hesitates. “I don’t do this.”
“You mean…”
“I just got out of a relationship,” Lena says. “And I don’t have one night stands. So I think it’s better if I just go, and we pretend this never happened.”
Kara’s smile falls. “I don’t have one night stands either,” she says. “Well. Not really? But, um, I’d…really like to take you out on a date. I-I know it’s a little backwards—”
“That's just it,” Lena interrupts. “I can’t date right now. And especially not with—” That last part escapes before she has time to think about it, and it causes a small crinkle to form between Kara’s brows.
“Not with me?” Kara finishes questioningly.
“I didn't mean it like that. God, you don’t even know who I am, let alone—”
“I know who you are.” Kara is gazing at Lena a little sadly, but not in a devastated way. Maybe just disappointedly. “Honestly, I didn’t think you knew me.”
“The whole school knows you,” Lena says. “And that’s the problem, see? Everyone loves you. If they saw us together, they'd lose their minds.”
“What makes you say that? I might not know you very well, but I think—I think you’re great,” Kara says.
Lena refrains from rolling her eyes. “You’re just saying that because you had sex with me,” she says, and she turns away so she can finish calling her Uber.
“That’s not…okay, I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Kara says. “Can I start over?”
“I don't see how we can possibly start over after seeing each other naked, but be my guest,” Lena replies, which only makes Kara flush red.
To her credit, all Kara does is rearrange her glasses shakily before she says, very earnestly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push.”
Even Lena can’t remain stubbornly distant at that; Kara shifts close again, not close enough that they touch, but definitely close enough that it’s an issue.
“And I promise I won’t ask you out again,” Kara adds. “So we can just be friends.”
“Friends?” Lena echoes. “I thought we just established you don't know me very well.”
All her dry tone does is make Kara smile, barely a quirk of one side of her mouth. “You’re very difficult,” she says. “I’m trying not to make this awkward.”
“That’s cute, but you don’t need to worry,” Lena says. “I promise I won’t hold it against you when we put this past us and never speak again.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Kara picks up her coffee from her nightstand, pausing to take a sip. “Can I at least give you a ride home? I cancelled lacrosse practice, so I'm free for the morning.”
“You cancelled practice? So early?”
“Not to sound presumptuous, but I did have a pretty girl in my bed this morning…” Kara grins when Lena does roll her eyes this time. “It’s fine, I get it, it was a one-time thing.”
“It was definitely more than once,” Lena can’t resist adding, and that makes Kara laugh.
“Really,” Kara says, throwing open her bedroom door, “let me give you a ride.”
Alright, maybe she’s cuter than Lena gives her credit for. And now Lena’s beginning to think she should’ve made this a morning-after affair as well.
But as it is, she ultimately declines. “No, my Uber is on its way,” she says. “I’ll wait for it outside.”
Kara seems to know not to press any further. “Okay,” she says. “See you around?”
“Maybe,” Lena allows, and she takes her coffee with her, taking a bit of pride in the way Kara is undoubtedly staring at her go.
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“You’re kidding me.”
Jess grimly shakes her head, and suddenly, Lena’s chemistry homework becomes the least of her worries. “Trust me, I wish I was,” Jess says. “But no. They’re a thing, officially.”
“What is she thinking? What about Ruby?” Lena asks, but all Jess does is shrug.
“You know how Sam gets,” Jess says. “I give this new girlfriend a week, tops.”
Jack perks up at this, causing his lab goggles to fall off his head with an ungraceful clunk. “Are we placing bets?” he asks. “I give her a month. She’s definitely Sam’s type.”
“We’re not placing bets on Sam’s love life,” Jess says, giving him an incredulous look, and then they’re off and squabbling in an instant.
Lena refocuses on her textbook, but she can’t shake her sudden uneasiness. Of all people for Sam to fall for, she thinks, why did it have to be Kara Danvers’s sister? Alex Danvers might as well be an extension of Kara, just as well-regarded, just as untouchable, just as idolized. Sam is about to get a lot of attention she doesn’t deserve.
A buzz of a notification drags her back to reality. It’s a text from Sam, asking if she’s free to watch Ruby this afternoon, and Lena feels instantly guilty for thinking she’s out of her mind. If anyone deserves a good time, it’s Sam. If Alex Danvers can give her that, well, Lena can resolve to withhold her judgement.
“Jack, I’m skipping lab today. I’m taking care of Ruby,” she says, shoving her textbook into her bag with one hand as she slides the bag itself on her shoulder with the other. “I’ll go to the Wednesday lab, but can you send me any notes you take?”
“You got it,” Jack says. “Tell Sam we want to meet the new girlfriend!”
“Not a chance, and you’ll just have to live with that,” Lena says, throwing in a sarcastic wave goodbye for good measure.
Sam’s apartment is a twenty minute walk from campus, and Lena texts her that she’ll be there in thirty. Sam assures her there’s no rush—just that she has to pick up a shift at the bar in an hour, and her usual sitter can’t make it on such short notice.
The apartment complex isn’t the nicest. Lena always has to walk in through the gate for cars because the door is perpetually jammed; Sam always says it’s inconvenient when carrying Ruby in, but she refuses to let Lena pay for a new apartment—even though Lena reminds Sam continuously that it is her mother’s money—so Lena has learned not to mention it anymore.
When Lena takes her spare key and makes her way into Sam’s apartment, she finds Sam half-asleep on her couch, and a dozing Ruby tucked up beside her. Lena gently shakes Sam awake, because she knows Sam hates it when she lets her sleep too long.
“Hey,” Sam says sleepily. “Thanks for coming.”
“I’m more than happy to,” Lena says. “Coffee?”
“Please.” Sam hoists Ruby up into her arms, whispering something Lena can’t catch as she stirs.
While they’re gone Lena starts up the kettle. She locates the shitty instant coffee easily enough; she’s been here so many times it would be a crime not to. And as she prepares two mugs, she helps Sam straighten up the kitchen a bit.
Sam comes back sans Ruby, gratefully accepting a mug once Lena hands it to her. “Don’t start cleaning,” she says, eyeing the clutter-free counters. “I don’t pay you for that.”
“You don’t pay me regardless,” Lena quips.
“Only because you don’t let me.”
Sam looks…better. More relaxed. More bright. Lena can’t bring up the new girlfriend now.
The only solution is to try and encourage her to talk about it herself, which is not a prospect Lena is particularly looking forward to. “So,” she says. “You’ll never believe who I slept with.”
“What? Lena. Don’t tell me you and Veronica…”
“No, but thank you for having absolutely zero faith in me,” Lena says. “I, um, I slept with Kara Danvers.”
Sam does an honest-to-god spit take. “Kara Danvers?” she echoes, blindly wiping at her chin once she’s gathered enough air to sputter. “When? How?”
“Do I really need to go over the details?” Lena raises a knowing eyebrow. “I take it she hasn’t let anything slip, then.”
“Isn’t she…” Sam pauses. “She’s the last person I would have ever expected you to pursue.”
“Who said I was pursuing anyone? I'm not rushing to be back in a relationship,” Lena says. “She was probably blowing off steam, and I was…well. It had been a while, okay? Don’t judge me.”
Sam listens to her patiently, and sighs. “Did Jess tell you about Alex?” she asks.
At that, Lena deflates, unable to look Sam in the eye. “She’s worried about you,” is all she can manage. “Does Alex know about Ruby?”
“I love you guys,” Sam says firmly, completely ignoring the question, “but this is my business. I don’t need anyone worrying over me.”
“Sam—”
“I’m a fucking grown up! I can date whoever I want,” Sam rants, sinking into a kitchen chair with slumped shoulders; though her words are sharp, her tone is not. “God, I'm sorry. I know it’s not your fault. Or Jess’s fault, for that matter.”
“It’s out of our control, if you think about it,” Lena tries, but Sam shakes her head.
“I…appreciate the concern, kind of. But I don’t need you to protect me anymore.”
Now Lena isn’t sure what to say. She’s been helping Sam for so long it’s hard to even begin to wrap her head around what she’s saying—what she’s asking, really. She has to take a seat beside her, close enough that their knees brush, if only to meet Sam’s eyes and ensure this is what she really wants.
And it must be, if the tiredness she sees is any indication. “Okay,” Lena says, finally. “Whatever you want.”
“Thank you.” Sam gives her a sad kind of smile. “You know…Kara seems sweet. If you’re ready to rock the boat along with me.”
Lena scoffs, traces the edge of her mug with her finger. “I shouldn’t have slept with her,” she says. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were finally getting laid, that’s what you were thinking,” Sam snorts, brightening slightly at the change of subject (or, rather, fun at Lena’s expense). “Is she better than Veronica? Please say she is.”
“Sam!”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Sam grins at her, all teeth and mischief, which makes Lena feel better about the change in topic. “So you’re not going to see her again?”
“I’ll take my chance to blend into the backdrop for this one,” Lena says finitely. “So no.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re Lena Luthor,” Sam says. “You’re doomed to always stand out.”
Her words are meant to be teasing; good-natured, even. But something about them brings Lena a sick sense of unease, and she takes a sip of her coffee and tries to hide it as best as she can.
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.
.
It’s not easy to ignore the whispers.
One would think they’re in high school, with the way trivial matters overtake everyone’s attention. Lena knows it’s not for any fickle reasoning, sure, but the matter remains that a scandal is the one thing the elite of National City enjoy far more than flaunting their own wealth.
And the truth that Sam Arias has been denounced by her parents after a teenage pregnancy? Well, that absolutely makes everyone lose their shit.
Sam had decided to leak the gossip herself, as a precaution before dating Alex Danvers would inevitably draw substantial attention to her life (and by extension, nosey gossip-mongers to poke and prod through her history). As a result, Sam has all but been ostracized from their social circle, and it means everyone has been watching Lena, Jack, and Jess with a newly-critical eye.
Lena isn’t proud to say that she avoids it all by hiding away in the one place no one in their crowd would dare set foot in: the library.
The third floor is always the quietest, as well as the emptiest; it’s pretty much an archive for old books no one ever needs, and the few tables and chairs stashed in the corner serve as places for students to sleep.
It’s halfway through the beginning of the semester anyway. No one’s really studying, so Lena doesn’t even feel bad for monopolizing one of the tables and actually doing some homework for once. She does text Sam to see how she’s doing—albeit guiltily—but gets no reply.
“Lena?”
So lost in her own head as she is, it takes a moment for Lena to realize that she’s being spoken to. When she looks up, she sees Kara Danvers standing before her table, backpack slung over her shoulder and hair tousled like she’s been swept up in wind.
“I thought that was you,” Kara says, flashing an easy kind of half-smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”
“Why, do you come here often?” Lena asks before her brain catches up to her mouth; she only catches how flirtatious that sounds when Kara laughs a little uneasily.
“Sort of,” Kara says, thankfully not saying anything of it. “This is usually where I come to work after practice.”
“Oh,” Lena says, noticing that Kara is eyeing the specific table Lena has monopolized. “I’ve completely taken over your spot, then.”
“My unofficial spot,” Kara says, and she jerks her chin in the direction of the unoccupied seat across from Lena’s. “Mind if I join you?”
Lena can’t say no, can she? It’s not like she can excuse herself now when her homework isn't done. So she agrees, and shifts some of her papers out of Kara’s way, and they settle into awkward silence.
Before Lena even realizes it, she is staring at Kara, wondering how on Earth she can be so nonchalant about this. Doesn’t she mind? Does she not feel as strange as Lena does about this situation? Kara isn't weird about the fact that they're practically strangers who had sex, she is just happily reading her textbook, earbuds draped around her neck, fiddling with the edge of a highlighter she never actually uses without a care in the world.
Maybe her staring gets too obvious; Kara glances up, amused, and tucks an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Am I distracting you?” she asks, and suddenly there’s an edge to her words that make an involuntary flush run through Lena’s body. It doesn’t help, of course, that at that moment Kara's leg brushes against Lena’s.
“No,” Lena replies too quickly. “I just can’t figure you out.”
“Well, I can say the same about you.” Kara leans on her elbows, book slipping shut once she lets go. “You’re the one staring at me.” But that easy smile is back, morphing into something a bit more dangerous; she knows the game she’s playing.
“I didn’t mean to stare,” Lena says, willing her flushed skin to cool down. “Don’t make this weird.”
“I’m not doing anything!” Kara says, raising her hands in a show of innocence, laughs a little shyly. “It’s not like I’m staring at you.”
“Oh, am I distracting you?” Lena returns, definitely just to echo Kara’s words back at her, and that gets her a deeper laugh in response.
“Okay, I can take a hint,” Kara says, almost as if her bravado’s vanished in the blink of an eye. “I shouldn’t have asked to join you. I promise I’m not trying to be your friend, or anything equally terrifying.” She slides her book back into her backpack, unperturbed by the whole encounter, and it just baffles Lena further.
“Why do you want to be my friend?” she asks without thinking.
“Do I need a reason?” Kara blinks, as if startled by the question. “I think you’re cool. Does it have to be deeper than that?”
“Can you settle for…acquaintances who are friendly when they see each other? That’s about as good as I can give.”
Kara laughs. “I’ll take it,” she says. Still, she packs the rest of her things away. When she notices Lena looking, she explains, “I can head back to my place. I don’t have my next class for another two hours anyway.”
“I didn’t mean to kick you out,” Lena begins, but Kara firmly shakes her head.
“No, really, I should go,” she says. Then—“I heard about Sam, by the way. Um, Alex told me she was…I dunno, having a hard time at home? If there's anything we can do…”
“I'll tell her,” Lena promises, knowing fully well that Sam is too proud to accept anything.
Kara nods. “Okay, then. See you around. Ooh, but if you’re ever up for it, this season we’re doing pretty well out on the field, so if you wanted to go to a game—”
“That would be pushing it,” Lena says. “I’m not a sports girl.”
“Hey, never hurts to ask,” Kara says. She stands up, swinging her bag over her shoulder like it weighs nothing, and maybe it does to her.
Suddenly, Lena can't let her leave. “Wait,” she says, getting to her feet before she even thinks of something to say.
Kara humors her, half-turned as she is to leave. Kara is expectant as she waits, eyes fixed on Lena’s with no surprise held within them, and Sam’s words run unbidden through Lena’s mind. She truly can’t hide as well as she thinks she can. Even some of the other people sitting up here are beginning to notice, and it makes her so uncomfortable she can’t stand it.
“Come with me for a second,” Lena decides, and she abandons her work—waits until Kara sets her backpack down on the table again—and then leads her behind a bookshelf, where there are no prying eyes.
She doesn’t know how it happens. She stumbles, Kara reaches out to catch her, and for a moment all she’s doing is clutching at Kara’s shoulders while Kara grips onto her waist and then—they freeze. It’s not one of Lena’s finest moments.
Kara does not let go of her either, though. Her eyes are so warm and her touch so light; she asks, “Are you okay?” in a voice that’s low and gravelly and something in Lena breaks.
And she kisses her.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she tries to approach this logically. She’s kissed Kara before, so this should not feel as new as it does; but it’s so different, this sense of urgency behind their movements. Kara’s hold on her waist tightens when she kisses back assuredly, no heat in the way her thumbs swirl patterns over her hip, but still—Lena can imagine it so clearly she feels as though she might combust on the spot.
“I’m sorry,” Lena says, jerking backwards. Her mouth opens to apologize endlessly but no words come out after that.
Kara traces Lena’s bottom lip with her fingertip and doesn’t say a thing; her gaze is still warm, but also surprised, and before Lena can try to speak again she kisses her again. This time it’s a deeper kiss, slower, the pressure of Kara’s tongue so exhilarating that Lena forgets about anything else.
There’s no telling how long they stay like that. Could be minutes, could be hours. Ironic, really, how Lena’s supposed to be hiding away from the mess of statuses and vapid ideals and instead she’s making out with the last girl in the world she should be involved with.
Somehow Lena ends up being pressed against one of the bookshelves—not that she’s complaining, really, because the way Kara takes control is really doing it for her—but then particularly hard kiss has Lena throwing her head back and…yeah. A rain of books over their heads is enough to kill the mood.
The top of Kara’s head gets the brunt of the hurt, and she’s the one who jumps back with a startled yelp; “Ow,” she says, and glares at some of the fallen textbooks like they chose to fall on her.
Lena can’t help it. She laughs.
Her entire body shakes with it, and the stress of the morning seems to melt away if only for right then. Kara rocks back on her heels and half-smiles along with her, one hand rubbing at her forehead for show.
“Are you okay?” she remembers to ask, setting her hand against Kara’s temple before she overthinks it. “I think that was my fault.”
“It definitely was.” Kara’s shyer than she was a second ago, cheeks a faint pink as she ducks her head. “Wait until I tell the team I got injured by a bookshelf.” When she looks back up she’s grown serious; not enough that Lena dreads it, but enough that the remnants of her laughter fade. “I…kind of don’t know what to say.”
“Me either,” Lena has to admit. “I’m sorry I kissed you?”
“I can’t say I minded,” Kara says, corner of her mouth quirking up. “It’s making me think.”
“Think what?”
“That I like you,” Kara says like it’s obvious. “I know you said that it would be crazy for us to go out. But we could try anyway, if—if you’d be into that?”
Kara is too sweet; Lena feels her heart sink knowing she has to reject her again. “Kara…”
“We wouldn’t have to say anything to anyone else, yet,” Kara presses forward. She’s got her hands in her pockets but it’s clear she wants to be fiddling with something; she’s nervous, which is somehow even more endearing than Lena could have ever thought possible. “Like…we could date in secret. No one would know.”
“I thought you weren’t going to try to ask me out again.”
Kara winces. “Right. I’m sorry. That was inappropriate,” she says. “I’ll, uh, I’ll just go. For real this time.”
“I wasn’t trying to accuse you,” Lena tells her softly. “I am the one who kissed you, you know.”
There’s a beat of silence. “And what were you thinking then?” Kara asks very quietly.
“I wasn’t,” Lena says. “But if I was, I think it would be something very selfish.” She’s struck with the reality that she wants Kara. Kara in any capacity, as her friend, as something more—but preferably something more, and that’s where this gets complicated.
Because she’s really growing quite curious about Kara; it would be hard not to like Kara and that odd-but-cute demeanor of hers. There is something about her earnestness that is refreshing, something Lena doesn't see much.
“I get it,” Kara says. “I don’t know what I’m thinking, trying to…” She doesn’t finish, but Lena gets the gist of it.
“Would it be very cliché to try and pretend we can still be not-friends?” Lena asks lightly, and Kara almost smiles at that.
“We can give it a shot anyway,” Kara promises.
Kara helps Lena put all the spilled books back before she leaves. She’s ten minutes late to class because of it, but isn’t particularly bothered; she waves goodbye with one hand and takes her time leaving.
The role reversal means that Lena is watching Kara go, now. Quite frankly, she's not sure how she feels about it.