Chapter Text
[~♪♪♪ 1~]
With a motion of the hand, Shu made the expensive red wine in his glass swirl. Even its colour, which he had once liked, did not catch his eye anymore. And the taste was no better. His drink was utterly tasteless, as usual.
The music played by the musicians in the background was no better. It was bland. Soulless. Devoid of any meaning. He had tried to find some artists whose talents would impress him, but it had been vain. Eventually, he had had to settle for some mediocre artists that barely met his standards. A ball could not be hosted without an orchestra; therefore, any musicians would be better than none. If only his elder sister had not fallen ill suddenly, he at least would not have had to plan all of this, knowing all along how terrible mere attendance would already be.
For now, he had to dreadfully partake in another long and shallow conversation. His mouth was acting on its own: there was no need to put much effort into the mechanical answers he always gave. Soon, the masked woman who was speaking to him would tire out, get bored and find some pretext to leave his company. If his presence could even be called that. Nothing about her was worthy of his interest: not herself, not her family and not even her dress, even when it looked like much money had been poured into it. Shu did not find any creative appeal in it. It kept up with the trend and suited her well. Nothing more. It hardly stood out among the other trendy dresses.
Ballroom conversations were always so shallow, to his dismay. Shu had long learned to let go of any expectation about his interlocutors' intellect. He did not care about politics, much less about flirting, no matter what his father tried to do about it. Having a conversation to his taste was near impossible. Some people he tolerated better than others, especially if they kept some distance from him, but that was generally the full extent of his abilities.
Attending balls from time to time was part of his duties as heir of his house, but it was a suffocating one. Hours to talk with people whom he did not care about, and who talked to him only in an attempt to earn his favours, when they still tried. Most had understood by now that Lord Itsuki was too jaded to be buttered up. Praise never worked its way to his heart. Gifts did not either. For many, this man was but a mystery that kept eluding them. Could anyone even dare to pretend to be able to please that icy man?
“Voilà,” he thought with relief. Finally, that woman excused herself and left. It had taken her long enough.
Shu had thought that hosting a masked ball would give an excuse to his undesired guests to ignore him all night long, but some of them still managed to pester him with their platitudes. To his regret, his pink hair stood out too much. At the very least, the masks provided him with a convenient excuse to flee from some of the most tedious guests as he could feign having no idea of the status of his interlocutor. Not that status mattered all that much tonight.
If only the end of the night could come sooner. But no matter how much money or despair he would throw at it, the clock would never advance faster. Shu stared at the empty crystal glass in his hand, disappointed. While it was tasteless, it had the benefit of making his body grow numb and taking him far away from this dreadful place and from his own thoughts. Still, he could not ask for another one yet. Having his identity so superficially concealed did not allow him to make a fool of himself and of his family name.
Even through the fog, Shu's mind perceived growing murmurs. Disdainful words that barely concealed their contempt reached his ears. Looking for the source of those annoying insects' buzzing, Shu stepped towards the centre of the ballroom. As the host, it was his duty to handle and defuse any conflict that might arise. It was all too bothersome though.
[~♪♪♪ 2~]
His heart missed a beat when his eyes fell upon the cause of the agitation. Everyone had stopped dancing and was staring just like him at two people who were still dancing, with not one care in the world. But contrary to the ignorant people surrounding him, it was not disgust that stopped Shu. No, far from it, for the first time in years, he felt admirative.
It was not the woman or even her dress that thawed his frozen soul. She was merely a dance partner that the man with pitch black hair at her side guided skilfully, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. There was no hesitation in his gestures, even when it defied all conventions of ballroom dancing. No, if anything, though it was out-of-place, the more Shu contemplated the gracious curves traced in the air by his steps, the positions taken by his feet when they touched the ground, how straight and light he remained through it all, the more Shu thought that this man’s dance looked more like ballet, and less like social dancing. Beautiful was the first word that came to the mind of the host of the ball.
The mouth half-open in awe, Shu did not move an inch, despite all the stares that had moved to him, expecting him to act and punish the man for his "indecent behaviour." For once, he felt none of them and even if he had, he would not have obeyed their injunctions. A splendid butterfly had chosen to brave the sea of corpses, he would not stop it from fluttering its wings innocently.
The crowd would crucify that beautiful being if they could. Creativity was but a faulty step in their eyes. And yet, Shu was mesmerised. The playful smile on that masked face felt genuine and the lady in the dancer's arms was laughing, countenance long forgotten, so offering a liveliness that had disappeared into ashes long ago in Shu's heart.
The dancer's clothes were no less interesting –an extravagant mix of colours and motifs that somehow did not clash with each other but complemented each other. The long sections of the purple and orange suit flowed with each of his steps, twirling and unfurling again and again, as if Shu were watching a rare flower bloom multiple times. In all honesty, Shu was not absolutely certain that this dancer, which he did not recognise despite how used he had gotten to his recurrent guests, was a man. His clothes were such an odd mix of masculine and feminine attire that the possibility of him being a woman could not be entirely crossed out. And yet, the heir to this house was quite convinced that it was a man, and not a woman.
Eventually, the song reached its end, breaking the spell. The dancer let go of the young lady in his arms and bowed in front of her, his seemingly ever-lasting playful smile on the lips. But this was but an illusion. His smile faltered once he met the disgusted glares that surrounded him, and the young lady, as if a charm had worn off, took several steps back, red with shame, before vanishing hurriedly in the crowd, leaving the dancer alone to fend for himself. However, when his eye met Shu's, his smile was restored. The sound of his footsteps on the marble floor echoed on the walls before Shu realised that the object of his admiration was now standing before him, his left hand gracefully extended in an invitation.
"Would you dance with me, my Lord?"
Moved by his heart, Shu's hand acted before he could think. Accepting was an unforgivable mistake for which he would be dearly chastised; he knew it painfully well. And yet, his hand was now in that of this stranger. The orchestra started the next song as Shu declared that dancing might resume. Most attendees were quite shocked to see the infamous frigid Lord Itsuki accept a dance with such a misfit but under his command, they joined the dance floor as well. Dancing would not prevent them from gossiping anyway, and a juicy pretext to do so had just fallen into their lap. Lord Itsuki accepting an invitation to dance was something that had not occurred for years, to the despair of the people who tried to build ties to his house.
But for now, Shu's mind was far from such lowly considerations. How he wished to have no need for gloves and to be able to feel the hand he was holding closer. To have something better than his damaged hands to offer to someone so charming. His dance partner had adopted the female posture for this dance, and yet, he was the one to guide Shu's steps when it should have been his role to do so considering that his mysterious partner's hand was resting on his shoulder. But he was not the least offended. Rather, Shu let himself be transported with a delight that he had not felt in ages, his gaze lost in the contemplation of his temporary partner. Every piece of clothing was so carefully ornate. It was a wonder to look at. And that face... Shu wished he had not organised a masked ball. The lower half of his partner's face was exquisite and delicate, and that smile was so warm… but there was nothing that he could make out of the upper part of that face. The black mask of lace and feathers hid everything away, save for the stranger's right eye whose golden iris was like a solitary lighthouse in the emptiness that had long enshrouded Shu's existence. For the first minutes of the song, neither of them talked and instead, they simply danced to the stranger's heart's content. Creativeness had been beaten out of Shu long ago, and yet, he felt like a beloved puppet in that stranger's arms, which were carefully leading him and making sure that they never even risked bumping into another couple.
Still, Shu was eager for answers. He had to know more about his partner. He could not let him vanish in the night, never to be seen again once the dance was over. And yet, his first question was one that would have thrown off most people, especially a young lady who would have been trying to court him.
"Who is your seamstress?"
His partner flinched at the question and his mouth opened in surprise. After a hesitation, he answered: "Why? Are you interested in my clothes?"
"Let's say that I haven't seen such a resourceful and daring creation in a while," he answered carefully. Shu's voice remained cold and calm, but he was no less burning with the desire to know internally.
A chuckle came through the stranger's lips. Its melody was far sweeter to Shu's ears than the melody they were dancing to. "I'll be sure to relay your compliment. Though I cannot say who my seamstress is, that is a secret. ~♪"
In his frustration, Shu failed to notice that the dancer's smile had grown wider upon hearing his previous comment: "A secret? She cannot possibly have so much work as to deny a potential customer her identity."
"Ya’d buy from her, my Lord?!" If there was one thing Shu had always been bad at, it was reading other people. Still, even he could read the excited anticipation that was now shining in his partner's eye, although interpreting it was beyond his means. Under the excitement, the stranger's voice had become rougher for a split second, letting Shu catch a glimpse of an accent that was not from that area of the country. Curious. Had he failed to recognise the dancer because he was a noble from some far away estate who attended a ball in this area of the country for the very first time?
"... I won't promise that I will before knowing who she is." A pause, a few enchanting steps and Shu did not know what to ask anymore. The question that burned at his lips the most could not be asked. Not at a masked ball. Any question on the dancer's identity risked pushing him away and it was too soon for Shu to even consider letting go of that precious hand. "If you so refuse to give me the smallest hint as to who your seamstress is, would you at least consider telling me more about your dancing? You must have had an impressive teacher."
"Did I, now?" The mischievous smile of the dancer had been imprinted on Shu's heart by now. "My teacher is hardly worthy of your interest. Dancing is simply one of the activities I enjoy the most.”
Such an innocent answer left the young lord's mind speechless. It was so far out of what he expected. Any member of high society would have used the opportunity to flaunt their connection. The young man in his arms had not and, in tune with his answer, kept dancing in his own particular fashion, sweeping the enthralled nobleman along with him.
A particular series of notes alarmed Shu and pulled him out of his trance. The song would soon be over, he had to hurry, lest this beautiful being slip through his fingers.
"Would you do me the honour of joining me on the balcony after this dance? There are many things that I wish to ask you."
The dancer made the most of a dance step to pull Shu closer. "Wouldn't you rather enjoy dancing with me again?"
Maybe the mask had not been that much of a bad idea in the end. Even if the man in his arms could not possibly see it, his reddened cheeks put him to shame. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid this won't be possible. It is incredibly bad etiquette not to change dance partners between two songs and I'm already seriously offending decorum by letting you guide our steps, especially in such a fashion. Appreciate the leniency you are being shown, those people would have rather thrown you out than accepted any of your invitations."
"That's a shame." After a pause during which the dark-haired man looked pensive, he added: "Truly."
"What is your answer then? Will you care to join me? Far from me the idea of keeping you away from dancing, however, in all honesty, I highly doubt that you will find any other partner than me tonight. The people here are much too narrow-minded to accept your creativity." Thinking back on how the previous partner of the dancer had left him all alone once she had noticed the crowd's glares was enough to infuriate him. Those people were worse than worthless, they were stupid beyond measure. But it did not matter for now. Shu's was hanging onto the dancer's every word, for he knew that little time was left to obtain his answer. This song would end in less than a half-minute. No clock was in the ballroom but Shu could hear a distinct ticking nonetheless; each second of silence was sending his heart further in its growing agitation. His partner's facial expressions were indecipherable, and waiting was hellish. Even a simple action such as swallowing his saliva was made difficult by how tense Shu was. The idea of a refusal was sending shivers down his spine.
"I'll join you, my Lord."
The relief that Shu felt at these words was beyond precedent. He had gained some time to try to learn more about that man, it was all he could ask from fortune tonight. This desired answer had come at the right time; the music hit its last notes loudly and hid Shu's deep sigh of relief that he had not been able to contain. One second more, and the mysterious dancer might have never replied to him at all and vanished into the crowd.
"That's great to hear. Allow me to lead the way. Do you wish to drink something, perhaps? You did dance on two songs successively."
"Thank you for your consideration but you really don't have to go out of your way for me, I'm not thirsty!"
One whole hour of dancing without even the smallest break and the man was describing himself as "not thirsty"? Shu's appetency in social interactions was as imaginary as blue roses, but even he was not that gullible.
"I'm not ‘going out of my way.’ As a matter of fact, I was about to fetch myself a drink, so I would merely be taking a second glass. If there is anything that you wish for, you only have to voice it. I'll provide."
"Well, if you insist, I suppose it's only proper for me to accept."
[~♪♪♪ 3~]
The short distance that they walked between the dance floor, the drink station and the balcony left plenty enough of time for the situation to dawn on Shu. Just how many social principles had he broken tonight? And yet, amidst his fear for the consequences his instant of frailty would bear, he was feeling good for once. His joy would be barely a fleeting moment, he knew deep down that this was not to last. But he could not forsake it.
One night. Just for one night, he would let himself go. Repercussions did not matter all that much now, even if the pain irradiating in his hands told him the opposite. However, he put all his mind into ignoring it; it was always the best course of action. That pain always came in waves, it would let him be only when it would have decided that it had tortured him enough. Not before. And yet, he knew that he could tolerate it to an extent if he carefully steered his mind away from the complaints of his useless body. Between listening to a pain he couldn't do anything to subdue and ignoring it in favour of the moment, the choice was easy to make. He could only hope that his mask would be a worthy though unexpected ally. Hiding his pain was easy for he was used to it, but currently, he would curse the smallest slip-up. Dismissing his pain would be useless if he let it show through.
Still, the fresh night air that was filling his lungs now appeased him. Their surroundings were much more pleasurable to him. The balcony was almost silent: music could still be heard faintly once the doors were shut behind them, but it was drowned by the crickets’ chants. However, the most important change was that Shu was now alone with the mysterious dancer. The doors and the dark night would hide them from glares and slander, at least for now. He could forget about them for a time.
Shu leaned with his elbows against the marble balustrade, facing the young man. He could barely see him in the darkness lit only by a few lanterns, but he did not mind. He was much more at his ease here than in the hall. Deep in thoughts about the best question to ask, Shu took a small sip of wine and carefully put some strands of pink hair back in place. Dancing was sure to have tousled them. It was curious how the man by his side kept directing his gaze everywhere, when he was only a few steps away from him. There was no telling what he was looking at, and it was bothering Shu.
"So... if you don't mind, my Lord, could you tell me more about your opinion of my clothes? I'm thinking that my seamstress would be even more flattered if I could tell her precisely what you liked."
"... Are you attempting to fish for some compliments?" If Shu was surprised not to be the first to break the silence, he was not about to complain about it. His gaze wandered on the extravagant suit. It was not exactly to his taste but that was not what mattered. What mattered was that it was art. "I'll indulge your request in exchange for a hint concerning who you are. I'm positive that you have never attended any of the balls my sister hosted. I'll entertain your curiosity as long as you entertain mine." Trying to gain the upper hand in their exchange was a bold move from Shu, but he might be able to learn at least a few pieces of information that way. He could only hope that the man in front of him would take his bait and not realise that Shu truly was the one that was powerless here.
"Mh... that hardly seems fair though, my Lord."
"Take it or leave it. I don't mind either way." Shu thought that such a transparent lie had no chance of ever being believed. He was quite sure to be better at negotiating usually, but all countenance was leaving him. For once, he cared about what was a stake, far more than his pounding heart was able to bear.
For a while, only the crickets and the orchestra could be heard. Perhaps his request had been too bold.
"Here is my first hint then. You were right when you guessed that I’ve never attended one of your balls before. This is the first one I've ever been to."
"So you haven't ever attended any social events before? Isn't that—"
"Ah! no cheating, my Lord!" He crossed his arms, displeased. "You are the one who offered such an exchange, hold your word. I won’t say anything else until you answer me as well!" The dancer turned away his head, almost in a bratty fashion.
Caught off-guard, Shu was left speechless once again by how brazen the dancer could be. Being interrupted by guests was rare.
"Well, I lack any expertise in sewing and the likes, but if you insist..." If he wanted to squeeze enough information to be able to know who the person he was talking to was, he had to withhold information for as long as he could as well. After careful consideration during which he could feel the expectant golden gaze on him, Shu replied: "I like the ability of your seamstress to disregard conventions. Too few people dare to go against the flow these days." He watched the reaction of the young man carefully to try to guess if this was satisfactory enough for a first answer. It appeared to be, and the dancer took a sip of wine before speaking again.
"I see. Although that's still quite vague, I'll take it for now."
"Might I have any hint about the house you are from?"
The dancer laughed: "You're asking for too much too soon. I'll only answer that I come from the west for now."
The west… Did that mean the borders with Wales, or even somewhere deeper in that area of the kingdom? His accent seemed to match. Shu had never been there yet. Though it did not mean much: he was too much of a hermit to have travelled around. And his only friend did not live there. Still, he knew for a fact how destitute that region was. Wales might have become a central part of the country’s industry, it didn't benefit very much from it. This certainly would explain why the young man had not had the opportunity to come to receptions given in England though.
"I... I can only hope that life in that dreadful place was not too harsh on you."
"… I'd rather come back on topic.” His white teeth, uncovered by his wide smile, stood out in the dark. “What will your next comment be? Give me more details this time!"
"Would you allow me to take a closer look? Dancing was hardly the time for a proper evaluation. I doubt that the mere glances that I was able to take at them will be enough to satisfy you." It was embarrassing, but something else had caught his attention at that time.
“Of course! Suit yourself.”
“Step closer to a lantern then.”
The faint light of the candle was shimmering on the dark fabric, thus allowing Shu to see the work that had piqued his interest in more details, at long last.
“The choice of colour is quite daring. Such vibrant purple and orange would not suit a lot of people, and though it is quite an unorthodox choice to juxtapose them in this way, I would hardly think of that choice as unwise considering the person wearing this suit. Did your seamstress design these clothes with you in mind?”
“Yes, she did! She worked many days and nights on it, your comments will go straight to her heart.”
“… I don’t believe that the opinion of someone as inexperienced as I should matter to that extent to someone of her skill.” The man in front of him appeared so overjoyed by what he said that Shu was feeling slightly uncomfortable. He did not understand why it seemed to matter that much to him. Was that seamstress a relative of his perhaps? It would give him sufficient reason to be that concerned by how her work would be perceived. It would explain why her identity was being stubbornly kept secret as well.
“Oh, certainly not! You have a great eye. I really want to hear more of your thoughts.”
“It is your turn to humour me then.”
“You're older than I by a few years."
"Should I deduce from that that you knew who I am, and yet invited me to dance nonetheless?"
"Wouldn't everybody here know who you are...?"
"They most definitely would, this mansion does belong to my family, and I am the heir," Shu scoffed, faking pride. "Even so, most of tonight's guests attend the events hosted by my family members frequently, they would recognise me from afar. With or without a mask.”
“Why did you choose to hold a masked ball then?”
Shu sighed and rolled his eyes. This question forced him to face his own disillusions. “I had hoped to give them a good enough pretext not to come pester me. I suppose you wouldn’t know since you’ve never attended any formal event before but more often than not, conversations in such events are all about politics or business. I had no desire for one more of those atrocious nights.” After a pause, he kept going. “And yet, you appeared out of thin air, with your beautiful garments. I’m thinking that my choice was revealed as not that ill-advised by that fact alone. You wouldn’t have come if you had to show your bare face, would you?”
“Eheh, do you mean that I improved your evening then? ~♪”
That playful remark, which had been punctuated by a laugh as sweet-sounding as a bird’s song, painted Shu’s cheeks with a bright red.
“You! I– I only mean what I say. Do not put words in my mouth.”
“Sure, sure. Perhaps you’d wish to return to the topic of my clothes?”
“Hmpf.” Embarrassed, his eyes turned to the nocturnal background. Nothing, not even the leaves of the trees, was moving. It offered a stark contrast to his restless heart. “You ought to offer me better hints than the ones you presented until now. Even if I was offered a library blessed with all the knowledge of the world, I would not be able to guess your identity from the few elements you told me.”
“Give me valuable insight, and I promise I will.”
“Allow me some time to think then.” The opportunity was too precious to be wasted. Perhaps, he would finally get what he wanted if he satisfied the dancer. Which house he belonged to, or better yet, his full name would be the most precious reward, though he doubted that this playful man would be so kind as to reveal them. “Raise your arms in the air.” His command was obeyed in a second, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Though reluctant to touch the lantern, Shu grabbed it after a deep breath. At first, his hand was shaking, out of uneasiness and out of pain, but he forced himself to steady his grip, no matter how strongly his hands were protesting. He needed to be able to see as best as he could, he could not allow himself to be capricious now of all times. The candle was safely shut behind glass, there was nothing to be anxious about.
After a long silence during which the dancer grew nervous from feeling the piercing gaze of Shu on him, he tried hesitantly: “Are you ready yet, my Lord?”
“Give me more time.” Shu stepped back and put the lantern back on the balustrade with relief: merely putting it down was enough to calm his nerves, and the palm of his hands wasn't as distressed anymore. “Could you spin around slowly, please?”
“Would four or five spins be enough?” Answered by a short nod, the dancer spun a few times with delight, matching the rhythm of the faint melody that was slipping through the door.
In awe, Shu missed the two first spins and had to ask for some additional ones. Even when performing such a simple step, that man appeared like the most graceful being in existence. It did not feel truly real to behold such a sight without warning.
“You can stop now. I have seen enough for now.”
“Oh? Really?” Smiling, he leaned slightly towards Shu. “What do you have to say, then?”
“I’ll reiterate that you should keep in mind that I’m not an expert and that what I’m about to say should be taken critically.” Shu took a last sip of wine, put down his glass and crossed his arms. “This work makes me almost wonder where your seamstress has been all those years. It looks very finely crafted, although I do think that the overall result would be much better if the different pieces were adorned with more details. The sleeves truly would have been enhanced by some additional pieces of lace… but maybe that would have been too classic. Ornaments made of organza might be a path that your seamstress would like to pursue. I believe they would have paired nicely with how flowing the ‘skirt’ of your suit is, though I'm not sure that is the proper term. Of course, that's only my personal taste. She doesn't have to agree.”
He paused for a few seconds to choose his words wisely. “Still, some areas, especially in the back, are too empty compared to others and I doubt this was the style your seamstress wished to execute considering her choice of colours. The amount of detail between the front and the back appears slightly disproportionate. Now… what else? The choice of fabric strikes me as strange. Again, I lack knowledge in that field, but upon closer inspection, the fabric looks… cheap, if you’ll allow me to describe it that way. It’s as if she was trying to cut corners in some areas. Considering the hours of work that I estimate have been poured into those clothes, I would have suggested selecting finer cloth. Also, though I might be induced into error by the night, it looks like some sections that should be symmetrical are actually of slightly uneven length by a few millimetres. She might want to fix that.”
As the man remained silent, visibly deep in thoughts, Shu thought it best to continue. “All in all, despite the aforementioned flaws, it remains the kind of work I wish we saw more of lately. It is far from perfection, at least in my taste, but it does not make it any less valuable. It’s worth the time to look upon it, unlike most of what people wear these days. Not that I’m one to talk, of course. My clothes are equally plain as theirs, perhaps even more. I would add that picking white feathers instead of black ones in some areas was a proper choice, it balances the colours of the fabric well and it offers a pleasing contrast with your hair. Tulle isn’t usually used for men’s garments, but I believe that she desired to produce some kind of androgynous aspect. If that’s the case, it serves its purpose well. Finally… If you may transmit a piece of advice on my behalf, she should head to the royal court. There, she might find some clients among the extravagant people that spend their time there whereas here, her prospects are bleak. You probably have seen it yourself, although I do admit that that wretched place is a pit of wolves and snakes. But I suppose that’s life as an artist.”
Though he appeared deep in thoughts, the dancer's face perked up. “’Artist’? Are you implying that the clothes I’m wearing are a work of art in your eyes, my Lord?”
“… Wasn’t that the endeavour that your seamstress was pursuing?”
“Well, I– I… I don’t think she thought of herself in that way. That’s an interesting point of view though.”
Shu was surprised by how stubbornly the man in front of him was presently staring at the ground. He had expected him to react positively, just like he had before. Had he been too honest? He doubted that a half-honest review was what the dancer wished for. “… Have my words perhaps offended you? I’ll… I’m willing to apologise if that is the case.”
“Ah? No, I’m not offended at all, I was only thinking! You know, my Lord, your remarks were very precise for someone who says that he has no knowledge in that craft. It’s curious.”
“… Let’s say that I did take an interest in it once. Long ago. But that’s over now.”
“I don’t believe you; you gave me such relevant comments! You can’t possibly have abandoned it.”
Holding himself back from snapping at his guest required a great restraint, but Shu managed to keep his temper under control. He was used to it. And most importantly, he could not risk offending him now, even if he was inadvertently crossing a line. He had to stay calm. Avoid lashing out. “I have. Now, I believe you owe me something.”
“Would you agree to one last dance with me while I think about it?”
“Are you telling me that you did not think about it even once during all the time that I took to observe your garments?” Irritated, Shu frowned. He never took being toyed with lightly, especially not when he had just taken the risk to open up a little bit.
“I did not ~♪!” the dancer said, smiling proudly as he stretched his hand towards Shu. “My hint does have to be at the right exchange rate for what you told me. It would have been a waste to think about it earlier.”
“… In that case, you leave me with no choice but to accept your request. I can only hope that your head is able to think seriously while dancing.”
“Don’t worry about that, I may not look like it, but my head is not that empty; I can do both!”
“If you say so.”
“Still, my Lord, could you make sure that while we dance, we do not risk bumping into something? My sight in the dark isn't good enough for me to do that myself. It’d be a shame if I broke some of your possessions.”
“… Is your mind truly fixed on dancing? It would be a pleasure, but I would rather spare my feet from being crushed needlessly. I hardly think of dancing as a suitable occupation if you’re truly as night-blind as you pretend.”
“Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll be more careful then! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that your precious feet won’t be hurt by my carelessness~♪”
Soon after, Shu was pulled into a dance akin to a waltz, but notably refashioned by the young man. Conventions… they seemed to have no place in that man’s world. He liked it, even if a tinge of bitterness was surfacing in his heart. Despite his best sentiment, envy did not seem to accept that it had no place here. After a few steps, all worries left him once again, and this distasteful feeling with it. That world that Shu hated so much eclipsed, leaving only the faint music and the dancer in his mind. Even their previous game evaded his care.
The warm light of the candles encased behind glass was flickering on the silent pair, letting Shu appreciate once more the beauty of the man in his arms. How he wished to take that mask off… but he would never even attempt to do so. Disregarding the dancer’s wish to keep his identity hidden would be cruel and was sure to sour their relationship beyond repair. Still, it was an uphill battle between his head and his heart to resist the temptation to at least ask for that mysterious face to be uncovered.
Eventually, their steps led them too close to the statues that were decorating the balcony, and Shu guided his dance partner the other way. “Careful. It would be troublesome if you were crushed by a falling statue.”
“But you wouldn’t let that happen, right?”
“Of course not. What kind of host would I be if one of my guests was injured while dancing with me?”
“Oh, you’d be a terrible one! Imagine if I died because you asked me to come here rather than stay inside. That would be unfortunate.” Apparently, this thought was funny to the young man, which unsettled Shu. Death was not something that amused him.
“Don’t make light of such matters. Tragic events should not be laughed at.” Though he was unaware of it, his fingers tightened around the dancer's hand. Death and destruction. Two topics that weighed all too often on him. But the dancer nodded and held his hand tighter as well.
"I understand. Please, forgive me."
"The offense was not serious enough for you to need to apologise. May I ask you other questions while you ponder over your answer?"
"I did say that I can both think and dance at the same time but honestly, I fear talking might be too much. I'd say it depends on the kind of question?" The way the dancer was tilting his head, his mouth slightly open in his confusion, was simply lovely in Shu's eyes.
"I won't pry too much, if that is what you fear. In all frankness, I simply wish to learn more about you and your tastes."
"I'm listening then."
For the next few minutes, Shu held his word as he was patiently waiting for his long-awaited answer to be given. And yet, he learnt much during this short time as well. What kind of dance the dancer preferred, which song he liked most. If there was a particular artist whose work he was following, which was regretfully met by a negative. Same answer when Shu inquired about his taste in wine. It could have been disappointing, but such an open show of honesty came off as refreshing to him, rather than as a bother. It was far more enjoyable to have someone admit they lacked knowledge in a field rather than tangle themselves pretending they did not. It was a shame though that the dancer did not seem to share his knowledge of theatre and literature. Any questions he asked on those topics came back without any fruitful answers. Usually, he would have scoffed and left it at that. And yet, now, he was thinking about books and shows to recommend. That the dancer lacked knowledge and experience was barely an issue when he seemed so curious and eager to learn about them. Perhaps… they could even go to a theatre together? That silly thought was quickly hushed away. That would never happen before he knew who he was currently talking to.
"My Lord, my answer is ready."
"Oh? I'm all ears." Finally, he would know who the man in front of him was. Or at least, he would be given enough information to be able to form some guesses. In anticipation, Shu was holding his breath.
"As you asked previously about my seamstress, I'll tell you that her shop is located in Aberfield, on a square with a water fountain decorated with a statue carrying three limestone doves. It is surrounded by many shops, but I trust that you'll find it all the same. Lastly, my 'seamstress' is a man. He has studied both tailoring and dressmaking, so he doesn't care much about how he's referred to, but I believe he'd be delighted to meet someone like you who was receptive to his work."
Shu pressed his lips together and bit his tongue firmly to contain himself. That answer was so far from what he had expected and wished for, he felt duped. However, he still hoped that if he pushed for it, he might get some answers. He couldn't throw a fit now. “… I asked for hints concerning your identity. Not hers, pardon me, his. That’s hardly what I bargained for.”
“Well, you just might find more clues concerning who I am by heading there. I do spend quite a lot of time there to help my tailor in his work. If you’re lucky you might even cross paths with me there. Who knows ~♪! Moreover, I'd much rather see you again there than in any other place. I promise, if you go there, we will see each other again. Ah... that's if you want to, though, of course."
Shu sighed, his anger and frustration quelled by that reassuring promise. He released the hand of the dancer and stepped away, his arms crossed, though not in anger. No, if anything, he was trying to appease himself. What if he never found that shop? "I suppose I'll have to be content with that then. You better greet me first. While I don't have the faintest idea as to who you are, you have told me quite clearly that you do know who I am. I will be exceptionally cross if you ignore me."
A cheerful laugh resounded on the balcony and the dancer bridged the distance that Shu had just created between them with one step and took his hand gently in his. "As long as you come."
Shu's first impulse was to shake his hand off this unexpected grasp, but he managed to bear it. Or rather… that was what he allowed himself to think. They might not be dancing but feeling that hand against his through the fine leather of his gloves was unexpectedly pleasing, so much so that he did not react at first when he saw his hand be led to the dancer's face. And yet, his heart exploded when he saw the dancer's lips brush the top of his hand gently. He couldn't feel their touch through the glove, but it was exhilarating all the same. It left him unable to move or to talk. The only thing he could do was admire the dancer, be awed, and revel in what had just happened. Slowly, he liberated his hand from those gentle fingers and cupped it around the dancer's cheek, a faint smile on his own face as he was gazing on his face once again. It quickly vanished once he remembered their current circumstances, and how uncertain meeting again was.
"Will you truly refuse to give me your name tonight? I…" Shu interrupted himself. There was no use lying to himself, he was scared that he might never find that man again. All he could do in this instant was to try to memorise the few features of his face that he could see. So much was hidden by the mask that it tore his heart apart. But voicing all of that out loud… no, he would never.
"Please, my Lord. Don't look so sad." The dancer put his hand on top of Shu's and stroked it softly with the tip of his fingers. "My name is the one thing I cannot give you tonight. I'm genuinely sorry about that."
"But why? If you are as sorry as you say… Why not just tell me? If we are to meet again… why keep such a painful delay?"
The dancer looked away. Because of the mask Shu couldn't be sure, but that slight distortion in his smile… was that sadness, perhaps? It felt wilful to think so. He didn't respond either, and instead simply maintained Shu's hand on his cheek, as if he feared that the lord would take it back.
Pressing the dancer for more information, or respecting his silence. Both options seemed painful to Shu and he did not know which to choose. In the end, silence was the easiest one. His desire for answers was twisting his heart again and again in his chest, but the dancer looked already sad enough. He couldn't bear to cause that man pain. Not when the only thing he wanted now was more time with him.
And time was precisely what the stars denied him. From their current alignment up in the sky, the ball was to reach its end in less than two hours and Shu's life would lose the glimmer of happiness this night had brought him.
Or perhaps, his tragically usual unluckiness would strike again. A knock on the door to the balcony startled both men, who quickly stepped away from each other when a loud "Lord Itsuki?" came from the other side.
Shu instantly recognised the voice of his butler, and half-opened the door, careful not to let him see who he was with. "I’m here. Is there anything that requires my attention immediately?"
"There is, my Lord. An intense argument has just erupted between two guests. Your presence is required to sort their dispute out."
"I understand. Show me the way." A glance and a sorry look were all that Shu was able to spare to the dancer as he was shutting the door behind himself, leaving him alone on the balcony. He hated it, but he didn't have any choice. His duty, no matter how much he despised it, awaited him, and the consequences for not fulfilling it could be serious. Unfortunately, that left no room for his own feelings and desires.
[~♪♪♪ 4~]
Once he had finished handling that petty dispute that he couldn't care less about, Shu spent much time trying to find the dancer back in the crowd, in vain. There was no telling when he had left, but the man had simply vanished without leaving any trace, except in his heart. But at least… he still had his promise to cling unto. They would meet again, even if there was no telling of when it might happen.
Soon, hopefully.
But the sun was rising, and with it, the shadows that haunted his life and made it a hell were awakening once more. Once the guests all left and Shu could at long last sink into his bed, he was shaking. Although he could only sketch vague estimations of what the following days would be like in his mind, there was one thing he was certain of. As soon as his father would return, his days would be terrible and merciless. He knew very well the consequences that his behaviour of tonight would bear and if he had been able to forget about them, as if under a spell, now, everything that he had done dawned upon him.
His memories with the dancer were but a faint solace. He almost caught himself praying that at the very least, he would see him again, but then his distrust of God and his capricious whims came back to his mind. No, God had nothing to do with whether or not he would see that man again. If he wanted to see him once more, he would have to act and not rely on fate. Most importantly, he would have to stop mindlessly winding his gears day-after-day, and start moving on his own again. Like a human, instead of the automaton he had let himself become. He could do it. Or at least, he could try, even if it was terrifying.
If he got caught… that thought alone sent shivers down his spine but as he was trying to get this tempest of emotions under control by steadying his breath, he decided to put that matter aside for later. All he could do for now was try to get some sleep, grit his teeth and hope that his memory of that wonderful night would not be tainted beyond repair.
If only he was not so utterly alone in that house. He would be able to sleep better, if he knew he had someone to rely on. Someone who was not trying to mould him into the perfect son. Someone who was not resenting him for his position as the successor and his past actions. Someone who was old enough to shoulder his burden. One day, hopefully.
Those were foolish dreams; he knew it well. His only steady support was currently busy with his own affairs, so far away that the news of what happened tonight would take days to reach him. With a sigh, Shu closed his eyes, and wrapped his blanket around himself in a cocoon. He had no doubt that as soon as Rei would hear about what Shu had done, he would come as fast as possible. So fast that Shu would question if his friend was human, as usual. But at least, he would be there and take him far away from here.
When that would be was the only question that weighed on Shu's mind. If his body was not so exhausted from the talking, dancing and the alcohol, he might have not slept at all this morning. But in the end, sleep was an all too convenient way to put his worries under a cloche.