Chapter Text
Gepard was for some reason at the bar for once in his life. He was supposed to meet up with a work friend but at the last minute that friend flunked. So there he was, sitting at a random table, by himself, drinking what might be alcohol but tasted like 90% fruit punch.
As he continued to be sat all he could hear was the loud music, people talking, that other group of people talking too. The lights were so bright and flashing, red blue green red green purple blue. It nearly gave poor Gepard a seizure.
He tried to cover his eyes to no avail when suddenly someone tapped his shoulder. Gepard, absolutely on edge, freaked out a little too much as the person thought he was afraid.
"Ah, didn't mean to scare ya! You seem lonely, wanna talk?"
He didn't know how to respond so he just kind of stared. She was kinda pretty actually, unrelated. What do you think it takes to look like her?
"It seems I'm not welcome here, I'll go-"
"I never said that."
"Oh did you say something? Maybe it's too loud in here aha."
"No it's just-" suddenly the music got much louder, must be a loud part of the song.
"Huh?!?"
"Nothing…"
The woman decided to make herself at home and sat down across from him, "I don't see ya around here often, what are you doin' here?"
"I was supposed to meet up with a friend."
"Ugh, assholes… anywho, you look like an attractive guy, wanna, ya know, hang out in the bathrooms?"
"Hang out… in the bathrooms…? What a strange activity. Aren't the bathrooms gendered here?"
She shook her head, "nonono, I meant I was gonna give you head in the bathroom… do you not… understand that?"
"Head? My head's right here," he pointed to his head.
"Oh gods guard training must've been strict. Poor guy doesn't even know what sex is!"
"I know what sex is!... WAIT THAT WAS A SEX TERM??"
"... I give up on you. Let's just talk then hm?"
"Sure, so why are you here?" He asked directly.
"Oh little ol me?" She pointed to herself, "just had a job to do, I'm done now so I'm relaxing here! And I found you also alone so I decided to talk!"
"A job? What type of job do you work at a bar that's not 24/7? Unless you work the day shift… at the bar?"
"Nono honey I don't work at the bar just a deal, nothing important."
"If you don't state what the deal was about I will have to suspect it's drugs and get you arrested for that."
"Ohnonono! It was just… nothing illegal that's all!"
Gepard looked at the woman up and down, looking into her eyes for the first time he quickly realized she wasn't the person she said she was. Wait, she never stated her name.
"Ah, you seem to be occupied with something-" she tried to skiddaddle, "see ya!-"
Before she could, he grabbed her arm, "please state your name."
"Uh-uhm… Clare…?"
"Don't lie to me Sampo Koski ."
"Ahaha… okay fine, ya got me," he stated, taking off his wig, "but I didn't do anything illegal, I promise! Like maybe those other times but- not this time!"
"Okay, then state your business here."
"Okay fine I was just giving someone crocheting lessons okay??"
"At a bar???"
"Yeah…"
"How… strange…"
"Anyways are you still thinkin' about that head deal?-"
"No."
"Damn and I thought I could get top head from a top guy…"
"Unrelated," Gepard spoke, "how do you… fit yourself into women's clothing that smoothly?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, well the most important thing is fake tits!" He then took out his "fake tits" to show Gepard. "Feel em, they're like real boobs!"
Gepard reluctantly squished the fake boobs, "uhm… okay."
Sampo put them back into his chest, "don't they look so realistic? Anyways wanna get outta here? Ya seem a little… out of it. Are you drunk?"
Gepard blinked, looking back at the person talking to him, "h-huh? No, I just had like a sip of liquor. It might actually just be punch."
"I see, but still you seem… unhappy. Let's get out of here, shall we?" He grabbed Gepard by the arm and forced him out of the place. They found a bench a few streets over and sat down.
Sampo breathed in the crisp cold air, "it's really nice here at night. The stars… we don't really get those in the underworld."
Gepard nodded, "yeah."
'...Why is he allowed to dress like that?' Gepard asked himself in his brain, 'a better question is how could I look like tha- that's a stupid question, Gepard. Looking that way is for girls, and you aren't one.'
His thoughts seemed to get ahold of him again because by the time he stopped thinking Sampo was staring, "what are ya thinkin?"
He shook his head, "it's nothing."
"Quote 'n quote nothing doesn't get mister general guard guy caught up for 3 minutes! Come on Geppie! Tell ol Sampo Koski the truth!"
He cringed at the nickname, "I told you already, it's nothing. I swear these thoughts left my brain 20 years ago but they're popping up again…"
"Ooh more information! Please do tell more!" He looked at him in a way that Gepard just couldn't resist.
"I- told you… it's nothing. It's just stupid kid wants. Like how some kids want to be a dragon or something," he crossed his arms.
"Oh? And what did you want to be?"
"A girl…"
"Oh!?"
"What. Is there something wrong with that? It's just a childish want. It's stupid, but it's what my brain keeps saying anyways."
"Sweetie I think you're just trans… and that's not childish."
"Ugh more words I don't understand. Is that another sexual innuendo!?"
"Literally no."
"Then what is it!?"
Sampo sighed, "well basically it's when someone doesn't want to be the gender they were assigned at birth, it might feel uncomfortable, you might envy the opposite sex or maybe none at all. Some people just want to live without gender expectations. However you seem to want to be a girl. Please specify. For me?" He got a little too close to his face.
Gepard rolled his eyes, "fine just… this is embarrassing… I just wish I could fit- like maybe not your specific outfit but- you know- I just… I don't know…"
Sampo grabbed his fake titties from his bra and handed them to him, "ya need these?"
"Yeah thanks," he grabbed them and started using them as a stim toy.
"Wait no I didn't mean like- never mind, whatever makes you happy."
"What do you mean by that," he stopped momentarily to ask that question.
"Nothin' nothin', buttttt I do have an unrelated idea."
"Please do tell," he stated as he continued to stim with the fake boobs.
"What if we do a little clothes shopping? For us both! Mostly for me though…" He said the last part under his breath.
"Hm, that's not a bad idea… however important question… who's paying . Be honest, Koski."
Sampo chuckled awkwardly, "oh… ya know… whoever has the most money and has a place to live of course!"
Gepard deadpanned, glaring at the man next to him, "I assume that's not you…"
"Yeahhh…"
They sat there in silence for a bit before Sampo spoke again, "can I have those back."
"Sure," he handed them back to him.
Sampo stuck them in his bra and stood up, "I know a place, follow?"
Gepard rolled his eyes, "fine but I'd suggest putting the wig back on, you are a wanted criminal afterall."
Sampo listened to his advice and put the wig back on right before they entered the store.
"So? What type of clothes are ya lookin' for, Geppie?" He asked as he looked through some shirts.
"I'm not too sure… I don't know what I want." He crossed his arms, watching Sampo look through things.
"Hm…" he grabbed a shirt out of the stack, "I'll get you a few more but let's try style by style! Let's start with Gothic Lolita!"
"What is that," Gepard deadpanned.
"You'll learn!" He swiftly grabbed 3 other pairs of clothing for him to try on, "just try these on and see if ya like it!"
"Fine. But don't "skiddaddle" while I go change."
"Deal!" Gepard assumed for some reason that he'd have them shake hands on it or something, but he didn't. He couldn't tell which of them was weirder for that.
Gepard went into the changing room and put the clothing on one by one… why did Sampo say Gothic Lolita again? This didn't fit his style like… at all.
He came out with the third outfit on, "Sampo was this some type of joke because-" he was nowhere to be found.
Gepard shook his head, "for aeons sake that idio-" he found Sampo searching in the men's section, Gepard assumed for himself.
He looked over his shoulder before spooking the wigged individual, "Geppie! Wait do you still wanna be called that-"
"Yes? Why wouldn't I?"
" Welllll… if you wanna be a girl wouldn't you want a more… I dunno… girly name?" He asked as he picked out a shirt and shoved it in his bra.
"Sampo that's a crime-"
"Shhhhh…"
Gepard stared at him, "anyways, no I'm not thinking of changing my name."
"What about pronouns? Question, if I talk about you would you rather be called a him or a her? Or maybe somethin' else?"
"Let's think about that later, Koski. You just committed a crime in front of a guard."
"And I told you to shhhh!" He put a finger on Gepard's lips.
Gepard stared at him annoyedly.
"Anyways Geppie, you like the fits?"
"They don't fit me."
"I dunno I think they fit you just fine."
"I didn't mean physically, I meant style wise."
"Oh. Well what kinda style you thinkin' then?"
"Not… this…"
"Okay!" Sampo picked a few miscellaneous dresses and shirts for Gepard to try on, "here ya go! Hope you like 'em!" He handed the hangers to the blonde.