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A few weeks had passed since the Witch’s spell had been reversed on Elinor, with peace now being restored to DunBroch. Mor’du, the former legendary prince-turned bear who claimed one of Fergus’s leg, was slain, allowing the king peace of mind from his past ordeal. The visiting clans had long gone their separate ways, permitting life to continue like it had before.
The kingdom itself may have returned to its previous state of harmony, but there was still a big change that would impact it.
After their relationship had been difficult for many years, Merida and Elinor were both happy with each other once again. The queen was not as controlling as she used to be with her daughter, who in turn had learned to not be selfish. With their bond repaired, they often engaged in activities where neither party would complain; Merida learned to enjoy stitching, playing instruments and any other hobby her mother also liked, while Elinor would also join her daughter as she rode into the nearby forest and explored the wilderness.
In spite of this new lease of life, Merida was not entirely happy. She still harboured guilt for her previous actions, and as the days past since her mother returned to her regular self, she worried more and more over what her parent had felt on both a physical and an emotional scale when she became a bear. Merida had considered asking her about it, but felt that it was not too appropriate, especially after both what had happened and what almost occurred. Yet, she still worried herself about it, invasively affecting her on a daily basis. She had to eventually get it off of her chest, but when she had the courage to break her silence was yet to be determined.
“What?”
Elinor could not believe her senses. She stared at the bow which Merida held out towards her. A few days after the incident had ended, Fergus provided his daughter with the new bow since her previous one had been destroyed. Sure, Merida had made her way through several bows since the first one she received as a small child, but for her mother to straight up destroy a possession of hers was undoubtedly a devastating action.
“You really want me to try this?”
“Yup,” the redhead nodded back. “It seems fair that now we properly want to try each other’s interests, you should have a go.”
“But I don’t even know how to-”
“That is why I’ll teach ya’, mum.”
Merida forced the bow into her hands and helped her position herself correctly.
“Now, hold it like this.” As she moved her mother’s arms, they fit into place just like she wanted them to. “Good. Now, stand like this.” Merida demonstrated with her own body how she would stand when performing archery, and Elinor was able to mimic it exactly. “You’re catching on well, mum.”
“Merida?”
“Mm?”
“I think I’m missing something.”
She hesitated, but let out a small laugh when she realised what she meant. She pulled out an arrow from her quiver and passed it to her mother before teaching her how to hold it with the bow.
“Okay. Focus on the target over there.” Merida pointed at the small wooden plank that had been nailed to a large tree. It had several red rings painted on it to mimic a professional target. “Don’t worry if you don’t get it first time.”
Elinor straightened herself up, ready for the task.
“Hold it like I said. Position yourself. Focus. You can do this.”
Merida took a few steps back, allowing her mother room to move.
“Good. Fire when you’re ready.”
A few seconds passed since Merida spoke. The tension was building for both of them. Elinor released her grip on the string and launched the arrow across the air. Merida watched as it flew, expecting it to miss be either missing the target or not travelling far enough, but what she saw made her jaw drop. Not just did the arrow hit the small target, but it hit it right in the centre. Merida was completely frozen where she stood, not moving even the smallest muscle from the surprise of what she had witnessed. Elinor then turned around to face her, revealing a smug grin.
“There’s a lot to me that you still don’t know.”
“Wait, you…” Merida walked back to her. “You used to do archery?”
“Aye,” the queen nodded. “When I was a lass. In fact, not just did I used to be like you, I was exactly like what you once were and my relationship with your Gran was just the same as what is use to be with us.”
“Really?” Merida had mostly come to her senses, but the revelations were still hitting her. “Then, why did you become…” She hesitated on the right words to say. “What you once were?”
“It was a family gathering I had to attend. Your Great Uncle’s. I never liked him back then, but I came to like him over time.”
Elinor then leaned forward and whispered as if they were not alone “ironically, he was just like ya’ Dad.”
“So, it was somethin’ he did?”
“No, no’ him,” Elinor quickly told her. “It’s what I did. I didn’t want to attend his birthday party because of how rowdy he could get. Sure, I used to get drunk like your dad, but he was worse. When we arrived, I requested some mead as I wanted to drink away the fact I had to be there, but after a minute of waiting, ya’ gran presented me with some water. She knew what I was trying to do and tried to prevent it, but I kicked up a fuss. We argued, but ya’ Great Uncle laughed and told her to leave me be with the drink I requested, so I got what I wanted. The trouble is I kept drinking and drinking, both mead and other poisons, until I lost my own inhibitions. I kicked up another fuss, this time about how I didn’t wan’ to be there and…”
Merida just stared at her mother, waiting for the rest of the sentence to come through. There was a long pause, indicating the memory was somewhat shameful.
“Things got violent.”
No sooner had the last word been spoken, Merida knew what her parent meant. She never thought for one second her mother could act just like she did, but what Elinor implied sounded worse than what she, let alone anything her great uncle, would ever do.
“And because of what happened, knowing the shame I brought to my family, I stopped thinking about myself and I listened to my Mother. I gave up my archery and all the other hobbies I used to do to make sure I would not have a repeat of what happened that night. The moment your father gave you your first bow, I feared there would be a repeat of what I once did, or perhaps something worse. So far, you’ve had perfect control over how much you drink and I’m proud of that.”
“Well, we’ve seen what Dad is like,” Merida noted. “I knew I was a lot like him and was worried I’d do something as daft or dangerous as he would.”
“Well, I did worse.” Elinor once again leant closely to her and whispered sternly “but he is to never hear about it.”
“Sure.”
The queen then walked over to the target to collect the arrow, which was still in perfect condition.
“Why don’t you try from a longer distance?” Merida recommended. Her mother nodded with agreement. They walked back several metres until the tree was further away in the forest, but the target was still visible.
“I find it somewhat humorous how you learned to change yourself in comparison to how I did,” Elinor noted as she positioned herself. “I got intoxicated while you turned me into a bear.”
That was when the shock returned to Merida. She may have been shocked in a joyous way previously, but this shock was more emotional. Regretful. Remorseful. Shameful. The thoughts she had been having since the spell was reversed returned, once again plaguing her like fleas on an animal.
“Should I ask her?” she wondered in her head. “Should I do it? She’s in such a good mood, I don’t think I should ruin it.”
Elinor launched the arrow, which hit the target in its centre again.
“I guess I still have it in spite of no practice for however many years now,” the queen commented. “Merida, why don’t we try another longer distance?”
“Err, Mum?” The princess nervously looked up at her. “I know this isn’t exactly timed well, but… what was it like as a bear?”
“What was it like as…”
Elinor almost repeated the sentence fully, but fell quiet. She just stared at Merida with an expression that indicated surprise. However, it was not a good surprise, but a worried one.
“Mum?” Merida began to worry she should not have spoken. “Mum, are you okay?”
She still did not respond.
“Mum, please say something. I’m sorry.”
Elinor began to lose her footing and slowly stumbled backwards. After a few steps she fell onto the ground, but was able to sit upright. As soon as she began to fall, Merida grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up, but her weight was too much for her to lift. Elinor was clearly in some form of shock from what had been said to her.
“Mum, I’m sorry.” Merida began to panic. “Look, clearly I shouldn’t have asked that. Let’s just head home-”
“No.”
Her mother looked straight into her eyes as she finally spoke. She had snapped out of the trance she was in.
“Merida, it’s alright. There was nothing wrong with asking me that. If anything… I’m glad you did.”
Merida slowly sat on the grass beside her, just staring at her parent as if she was in awe.
“Ever since I went back to being my normal self, becoming a bear has haunted me. I’ve had nightmares about what happened.”
“Well, why didn’t you say anything before?” The princess was confused. “Surely Dad would have noticed something?”
“I’m good at hiding things from everyone,” she was told. “Including that.”
“But you can’t just ignore it.” Merida almost sounded demanding. “If something like that upsets you, you have to talk to someone about it in case it gets worse.”
“I didn’t want to worry anyone,” Elinor replied. She then sighed sadly and added “especially you.”
Upon hearing those two words, Merida’s heart sank and her expression became more worried than before. She always knew what had happened was her fault, but the repercussions were persisting in spite of how the main problem had been fixed.
“Mum, that doesn’t matter. I’m always going to worry about it myself because of how I caused it. I am forever going to be guilty of both what I did and what almost happened. That is why I asked that question. It’s going to take some time for me to move on, and it will be the same for you unless you talk about it.”
“Well, why don’t I talk to you?” the queen enquired. “You’re the first to hear about this.”
“Okay,” Merida nodded. “So, what was it like?”
“Well…” Elinor took a deep breath before thinking through what she was going to say. “I was in shock. When I first found I became a bear, I was in denial. I never believed it, but I was so shocked that it also never crossed my mind I might have been stuck like that. Physically, I was only taller and wider than I am as a human, so standing upright was not too bad.”
It was then that she seemed tentative about what to say next. She did not want to continue talking, but knew she could not keep it to herself knowing what Merida had told her.
“Mentally, on the other hand… I don’t know what I was doing now. There were times when I just felt like hunting and attacking anything in sight, regardless of who it was.”
When she conveyed all of this, she never looked at her daughter. She looked at her lap, but now decided to look straight at her face.
“I still remember everything during the sunrise. I may have had those feelings where I wanted to hunt, but I felt different. It was almost as if I was not in control anymore. I was trapped inside my own mind, just like Mor’du was. I wanted to break free.”
It was then that tears began to roll down her face. Merida too shed tears at hearing what her mother went through, her guilt once again becoming apparent.
“As if that wasn’t the worst part, the worse thing about it all was ya’ Dad. Not just was he close to killing me, he didn’t even know who I was!”
The two embraced as they wept. Elinor was hurt by the memory of what she went through, while Merida had shame for how she caused it. They cried for a few minutes, still sitting on the grass together, until the mother decided to speak again.
“But don’t let this make you think I don’t forgive you.” She held her daughter’s head in her hands. “I do. Now, I don’t want you holding onto the past like this. If you think you have it bad, you know perfectly well about how I was affected too.”
Merida could only nod to respond, as she was still recovering from the emotions she went through.
“Now, come on. Let’s find another part of the forest to practice our archery.”
The mother and daughter stood up, helping each other onto their feet and made their way to their horses. As they rode off to find a different area, Merida asked “you will talk to Dad about this still, right?”
“I will, thanks to your advice,” Elinor smiled at her. “I will.”