Chapter Text
If he could pinpoint where it all went right, Rin would think back to his philosophy class.
Due to his less-than-friendly demeanor (and the rumors about his terrible attitude) it's no surprise Rin is sitting alone on the first day of class. This doesn't disturb him at all. In fact, he encourages it.
"Itoshi Rin is untouchable. Don't dare to approach him unless you want to be socked in the face." That's what's commonly said about him. He doesn't have a problem with it because it means people will leave him alone. In his opinion, that's better than being surrounded by pesky people all day disturbing him.
Rin loves quiet. He doesn't like it when his personal peace is disturbed.
That's why he's surprised when, despite the countless empty seats in the class, Bachira Meguru chooses to sit next to him.
Rin glares as Bachira unpacks his stuff. The guy is twenty minutes late on the first day of class and dares to sit next to him?
Rin already decides philosophy will be his least favorite class right then and there. He thinks it would've been better if he'd never heard of the guy at all. Unfortunately, he does know who Bachira is. To be fair, he's only heard of the upperclassman in passing because of Isagi. He's not particularly fond of Isagi either. The duo is two-for-two on the list of people Rin doesn't really like.
He's snapped out of his internal complaining when the professor starts speaking. He refuses to let Bachira distract him more than he already has in the past five minutes. For the rest of the class, Rin completely tunes out the person next to him. He listens intently to his professor, determined to ignore Bachira.
Rin can feel Bachira glance at him curiously from time to time throughout the lecture. He continues doing what he does best and shuts him out entirely.
Bachira Meguru is nothing but a distraction and a nuisance. Rin won't let himself be pulled astray no matter how many inquisitive looks are thrown his way. He hates how Bachira seemingly tries to figure him out through all his staring. Nobody's stared at him more than Bachira has at that exact moment. It sends an uncomfortable feeling down Rin's spine that he doesn't want to acknowledge.
Rin has never felt more bare than he does under Bachira's stare. It's as though he was being dissected under a lab microscope for examination. As though every part of Rin was being pulled apart and judged by Bachira's big gold eyes. As if just by one look he could tell every issue plaguing Rin's famously cold heart. It's unsettling and disturbing to experience. Just because Rin loves horror movies doesn't mean that he wants to be a part of one.
That's why when class ends Rin makes the mildly embarrassing decision to book it. It's certainly not a decision he would make normally, but escaping the way Bachira seems to be reading him like a best-selling novel is an exception. He'd rather sacrifice his dignity for a second if it meant he could return to feeling comfortable in his own skin. Bachira's unwavering gaze makes him feel annoyingly, humanly, uncomfortable.
Itoshi Rin is untouchable. He doesn't let those below him make him feel uncomfortable. He doesn't let them get close enough to even try. Bachira Meguru is a fluke who will return to his place the next time they meet.
Rin will make sure of that.
Rin fails to make sure of that.
In the following philosophy class, Bachira once again turns up late much to Rin's annoyance. However, there's something different about him this time. He strolls in with two coffee cups in hand. Rin glances at him but immediately looks away when their eyes meet. Bachira sits down in his seat and slides an iced americano Rin's way. He looks at his seatmate incredibly confused but the latter just shrugs, "Figured you'd be the soulless coffee kind of guy." He says cheerfully.
Rin takes that statement for what he believes it is. An insult masked by a cheery tone and bright smile. Therefore, Rin stubbornly refuses to take a singular sip of the offending drink. It doesn't matter that Bachira was one hundred percent accurate about Rin's preferred coffee order.
As the professor drones on and on, the ice in the plastic cup melts, much like Rin's tolerance for Bachira's glances. At some point, he reaches the end of his rope and turns to Bachira. "What do you want?" He says harshly, accompanied by one of his signature glares. Bachira, seemingly undeterred, smiles at Rin as he replies, "I hear you give Isagi a run for his money on the field. Just for that, you're one of the most interesting people I've met! I wanna get to know you as a player and a person!"
Rin rolls his eyes. Of course it was about soccer. He honestly should've seen this coming from a mile away. "That's definitely not going to happen. Pay attention to the professor, not me. If you fail the class that's on you." Rin says flatly as he focuses back on the lesson. He has bigger things to worry about, like his degree and soccer. This is the very last time his mind will give Bachira any time of day.
Besides, he knows Bachira is lying. He hasn't just heard Rin gives Isagi a run for his money on the field. He knows Bachira's been in attendance at their games before. He knows that Bachira's seen firsthand that when it comes down to the two soccer players, Rin completely owns Isagi on the field. At least that's what Rin's own ego tells him (not to be confused with their actual coach, also named Ego). After all, Rin doesn't lose. Especially not to hopeless losers like Isagi.
This is a train of thought that will come to bite Rin in the ass later on in life. For now, though, it's what he believes to be the complete honest truth.
It's not his fault that he's never really lost before, or at least not to anyone who's not Sae. That's a different can of worms Rin chooses to store at the very back of his mind. If it were up to him it would remain permanently sealed away forever and would die when Rin does.
"Actually, I was also hoping you could tutor me?" Bachira smiles sheepishly. Rin looks at him incredulously. "The class just started. How do you already need tutoring?" He asks in disbelief.
"No! Not with this class! Or at least not yet," he begins, wincing a little before continuing his sentence,"I hear you're amazing at english. I'm taking it this semester and am gonna need all the help I can get. Unfortunately, everyone else I know is also terrible at english!" He sighs as he leans his head on his palm, staring up at Rin pleading. "Why would you take english if you know you're bad it?" Rin scoffs in response. Bachira continues pleadingly staring into his soul until Rin has no choice but to give in.
Has he mentioned he hates Bachira's stare?
"Fine. Just, stop looking at me like that." Rin says, managing to keep his voice flat and monotone. He doesn't want to show this pest that he feels fear. Actually, he doesn't want to let anyone know he's capable of feeling fear, especially towards Bachira, at all. "It's creepy." He adds on in a lousy attempt to convince Bachira, or at least that's what he tells himself. He'd rather go with that than admitting its a weak attempt to convince himself.
He can picture it now: Shidou doubling over with laughter as Sae stares unimpressed if they were to ever find out. The image makes Rin almost let out an involuntary scoff. He absolutely can't let that ever play out. He refuses to be their jester. Even enduring another hour of Bachira's staring seems more appealing.
"Perfect! Give me your number so we can sort out the details!" Bachira says happily, completely letting Rin's comment roll off his back like nothing. If there was one thing the guy was good at it would be not letting things get to him. Rin is left with no choice but to begrudgingly hand over his phone number. "Don't text me for anything other than school." He says coldly as he gathers his things to leave. Bachira replies with a thumbs up and a beaming smile. "Bye!"
"Disgusting." Rin thinks to himself, a displeased look on his face as he walks out.
The weather outside is relatively warm. The scowl on Rin's face slips off as he takes in the sun rays. His walk back to his dorm could be considered somewhat pleasing. Hell, minus the whole Bachira thing his day wouldn't be that bad.
The first time Bachira texts Rin it's uneventful. Truthfully, Rin was hoping that by some stroke of luck, or a lack thereof for Bachira, that his phone would get run over and as a result Rin's number would be lost. Unfortunately for Rin, things can't always go the way you want them to. The universe has to make it fair for others too sometimes.
unknown: hiiiii
rin: Who the hell is this?
unknown: it's me silly!!!
unknown: bachira from philosophioy!!
unknown: philosophy**
unknown: got a little too excited and typed too fast lol
rin: What do you want.
unknown: straight to the point i like it!
unknown: i was hoping we could arrange a time and place so you can help me with english?
unknown: you said you would so there's no backing out!
rin: I'm free on Sunday at 3pm. The library is just fine.
rin: Don't make me regret this.
unknown: ofc i wont dw
unknown: save my number so you remember who i am rin-chan!!
rin: Don't call me that.
Rin begrudgingly saves the number under the name 'pest'. He goes on with his week like normal. The looming meeting with Bachira doesn't really hit him until Saturday night.
"Why'd I even agree to this." He grumbles to himself as he types away on his laptop. It's a futile attempt to work on an assignment that isn't even due until the next week. Still, anything is better than thinking about the trouble he's gotten into. Just the thought of dealing with Bachira for an afternoon makes Rin's head want to explode in a bad way.
It's unclear to Rin why exactly Bachira gets under his skin like this but he just does. In truth Bachira is a very sociable and fun person to be around for the average person. Sure, he's a little weird, but he isn't some sort of creepy stalker. That doesn't stop Rin from feeling increasingly odd around him. It's the beginning of a feeling he can't quite put his finger on. He knows any sane person would try to investigate it further, but Rin isn't your average emotionally normal person.
When you grow up with parents more concerned about business meetings and wine glasses than their children it's hard to develop a standard ability to deal with feelings. It doesn't help that his brother is literally Sae. These days their relationship isn't as bad as it used to be. Sae calls and Rin sometimes picks up. Rin barely calls and Sae mostly picks up. It's weird having the control over fixing your relationship with your brother in your hands. He isn't sure why Sae's trying to mend things this late, but Sae's trying and that's what matters he guesses. Something is better than nothing. Although, Rin would've preferred that this something came when Rin was eleven begging Sae not to leave again, but at least there's an attempt being made now. Rin reminds himself that you must count your blessings in life, or whatever that self-help book Shidou got him for Christmas last year said.
Rin despises Shidou. No, Rin is not emotionally repressed. No, you cannot hit on his brother (newsflash, he did it anyway). No, Rin is NOT his little brother even if he's dating Sae. Yes, Rin believes he's perfectly fine the way he is and is living life to its fullest. Ok, that last one may not be completely true. Even if it was a complete lie what's it to Shidou? He's Sae's boyfriend NOT Rin's dad. If anything he should redirect his overbearing tendencies to Sae's direction. If it wasn't clear already, Rin does not know what Sae sees in that man.
Shidou asks too many questions for Rin. He's a little too perceptive. The more he thinks about it the more realizes Shidou kind of resembles Bachira. They're sort of cut out of similar clothes.
This realization doesn't help Rin's oncoming headache and dread for his meeting with Bachira tomorrow.
If he survives this then maybe he'll call Sae and tell him he misses him. Rin lets out a loud laugh. "Yeah, like either of those things will ever happen." He tells himself through his laughter.
Rin is begrudgingly packing his bag when he receives a text from Bachira. He glances at his phone with an annoyed look on his face before he grabs it.
pest: whats your coffee order??
rin: Why do you want to know?
pest: just cause!!
pest: hurry up!!
rin: Stop asking me pointless questions.
Rin grumbles insults under his breath as he shrugs his backpack and jacket on. It's cold enough outside that he needs a jacket but not a hat or scarf. Silently he thanks the weather for being pleasant and making an otherwise irritating walk to the library somewhat bearable. The breeze hits him in a nice way as he plugs in his earbuds. Getting lost in the scenery Rin is at peace.
Before he knows it, Rin has arrived at the library and is taking his laptop out his backpack. He looks around the room trying to spot the nuisance that is Bachira. It's only in that moment that he realizes that they didn't exactly say where in the library they were going to meet. When he doesn't spot him he decides to get settled in the meantime. He assumes Bachira will send a text his way if he gets lost.
And if he doesn't show up? Even better for Rin. Although, he doesn't like the idea of his time being wasted either. He didn't have to make the journey to the library and could've just studied at home if that were the case.
As he sits and waits a ton of concerns suddenly enters Rin's mind. Bachira didn't tell him how bad he was at english exactly. This means that Rin was truly unprepared for the world of pain he was about to experience. What if the only word he know was hello? What if he just signed himself up for an impossible task?
Rin's patience grows thinner and thinner as the seconds pass with no sign of Bachira. He's about to get up and leave altogether when someone comes barreling through the door, startling everyone in the library. There's no mistaking the bleached hair, blunt bangs, and bob combo. It's Bachira who's running through the library and getting nasty looks from studying students. In his hands is a drink carrier with two iced coffees, a mysterious brown bag, and headphones. A backpack is also slung over his shoulders and adorns many pins and keychains on it.
Bachira spots Rin and makes a beeline to their seats. He catches more irritated looks as he loudly puts his items down onto the table. "Hi! I'm so sorry for being late there was such a long line at the cafe! Then I realized I didn't know what floor you were on." He says too fast for Rin to get a reply in. His hands gesture wildly as he speaks until he slides Rin an iced americano with an apologetic look. "I didn't know what you liked so I guessed. I also got you a sandwich!" He says sheepishly as he pulls out the wrapped sandwich out of the brown bag. A container with a slice of cake is also pulled out of the brown bag along with eating utensils.
One thing becomes clear throughout this interaction. Bachira talks more than enough for the both of them combined. In fact, he talks a little too much. Rin silently observes how Bachira goes on and on, not even waiting or needing a response from Rin. It's almost like he's too lost in his own rambling to remember the other person sitting in front of him. His endless chattering is cut off by Rin asking an important question, "How much english do you know?"
Bachira stops in his tracks. A sheepish expression finds itself on his face as he winces a little. He sucks in a soft breath before speaking up, "Technically, I took it all of high school. I didn't take any of it my first two years of college so I'm not sure how much I remember."
Rin groans, slapping his palm across his forehead. "Why the hell did you even sign up for the class then? Are you stupid?" He questions. His voice is as sharp as his growing anger and annoyance. He was aware tutoring Bachira would be inconvenient and painful, but he didn't think it'd be that bad.
There's a pregnant pause as Rin's words seemingly echo in Bachira's mind. It seems like forever before he actually gets a response. "Oh, well, Yo-chan decided to take it this semester. I thought it'd be fun to take it with him." He replies nonchalantly. It's as if Rin's harsh words bounced right off of him without even leaving a dent. A soft look even presents itself onto his face as he seems pensive for a split second.
Disgust plagues Rin's senses. Not only at the mention of Isagi, but also at the look on Bachira's face. A part of him just doesn't seem to understand the lengths people will go to for others. Why take english and get a tutor for one person?
Wait. Why is Rin the one tutoring him?
"Why am I tutoring you then? Can't you just study with Isagi and not waste my time?" He asks, giving Bachira a questioning look.
"Well, you see, Isagi already has a tutor. Michael Kaiser. Our schedules just don't seem to overlap enough for Kaiser to tutor both of us at the same time." Bachira shrugs. There's a hint of something else in his voice but Rin chooses not to pick at it. Whatever it is isn't his business and he doesn't want to know anyways. That's their drama, not his. Why should he care about the friendship struggles of a bunch of lukewarms?
Besides, hearing the name Michael Kaiser makes his nose wrinkle and an ugly look flash across his features. Rin can come up with an entire list of words to describe the man but none of them are nice. His favorite ones are asshole, pompous, annoying, lukewarm, and self-centered. It's saying a lot if even Rin thinks someone is the absolute worst. That's when another thought implants itself in his mind. He wasn't the only one who thought that. "Why is Kaiser tutoring Isagi when they hate each other?"
"Beats me! I'd love to know as much as you do Rin-chan!" Bachira exclaims, raising his hands to demonstrate his cluelessness. "I don't want to know. I was just wondering since it left me stuck dealing with your idiocy." Rin replies snarkily, there's a growing urge to kick Bachira's ass with every word that leaves his mouth. He narrows his eyes and focuses in on the man sitting next to him. Hypothetically, if he were brawl with him in the library the repercussions shouldn't be that bad. Shidou's done worse in more inappropriate places.
Rin's violent thoughts are broken by Bachira accidentally slamming a workbook on the table. A couple of people shush him with nasty looks on their faces. "I'm serious about learning english so please help me Rin-chan. I even brought this book to practice out of!" He pleads earnestly.
Rin is taken aback by this honest display of emotion. He may be an asshole but even he can be nice from time to time. "Fine. Show me your syllabus and we can work from there." He mutters, looking away to avoid seeing Bachira's grateful eyes and wide smile. "Thank you so much!" Bachira smiles as he launches towards Rin for a hug. The younger nearly falls out of his seat in surprise. "What the hell are you doing?!" He nearly shouts before remembering where he is. Bachira blinks at him confused. "I'm giving you a hug? Geez you sure are repressed Rin-chan!"
"Don't call me that! And I'm not repressed!" Rin's voice raises significantly, earning a few glares once again from the people around them. Bachira, on the other hand, looks unbothered. "Whatever you say!" He giggles.
"Now, how do you pronounce this word? Is it Wed-ness-day?" Bachira asks innocently, staring at Rin with a confident look on his face.
A loud thud can be heard throughout the library from Rin banging his head against the table in an attempt to control his temper. This next semester will surely be his personal hell. All of a sudden calling Sae to tell him he misses him seems like a plausible scenario.
It's gotten significantly colder by the time they exit the library much to Rin's annoyance. Even worse is the amount of time that's passed. Their sandwiches and iced coffees were polished off hours ago. It's nearly seven-pm and Rin's stomach is rumbling. He dreads the thought of making the walk back to his dorm, and then having to slave over a stove, before having to do his own homework for god knows how long. His head leans back towards the clear sky as he breathes deep, praying for a lightning bolt to strike him dead at the moment. His head is still reeling from having to reteach Bachira basic english for the past three hours. He can't say that he remained the calmest or the kindest throughout the session. None of that seemed to deter Bachira who seemed extremely determined to get it down no matter how many times Rin lost his temper. Instead of cursing Rin out like most would, Bachira didn't even flinch at the words. He was quite literally so unbothered that it's concerning.
That in itself amazes Rin a little. He's never met anyone who could withstand his admittedly terrible personality and endless barrage of insults. That's not something to be proud of. He knows that. It's a crucial flaw that makes untouchable Itoshi Rin not so flawless and untouchable. This issue is one he should be unpacking in therapy but the idea makes something inside him churn. No, Rin does not need therapy. He is perfectly fine emotionally.
That's what he tells himself and Shidou's stupid self-help book every time it's mentioned. His inability to acknowledge any of this is also probably why he needs therapy. Acknowledging there's something wrong with him makes Rin feel uncomfortable so he simply avoids it like he does most things.
The pinnacle of things Rin is avoiding comes barging out the library doors as he stands staring at the sky. "Rin-chan! I didn't think you'd still be here after you left so quickly! Wanna come get dinner with me? My treat." Bachira smiles as he runs up to talk to Rin.
Rin is about to decline rather rudely, but before he can his stomach rumbles loudly. Bachira takes that as an answer and grabs Rin's arm leading him off campus. Things happen way too fast for the younger to process and before he realizes it he's sitting in a restaurant booth. "Where the hell did you take me?" He demands answers, eyes glancing around the room.
It's not a remarkable restaurant by any means. By the looks of it, it's your standard American style diner. There's a decent amount of customers and waiters roaming around the place. He doesn't hate it, but he doesn't love it either. A waiter comes to take their order and Rin orders your standard burger with fries and a soda. Bachira's order is nearly identical to his except for the addition of a vanilla milkshake instead of soda. Rin stares awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do.
Why is he here? Why'd he blank out and let Bachira lead him away without protest?
Rin's startled out of his thoughts when Bachira suddenly speaks, "soo, what're you into?"
"Huh?" Rin asks, still dazed and reeling from what just happened. Bachira bursts out laughing at the look on his face. "What do you do in your free time?" He asks as he tries to settle down, failing miserably. Rin scowls at him. "I play soccer dumbass. I thought you knew that."
Bachira's laughter only grows stronger once Rin responds. It takes everything in the younger to not walk out and go home to wallow in embarrassment. What's so goddamn funny about what he said?
"That doesn't count Rin-chan! You're a student athlete so it's apart of your daily life!" Bachira exclaims, leaning across the table to stare at Rin in the eyes. "What's your favorite movie?" He asks with a genuine interest in his eyes and tone.
The way it makes Rin feel, having someone genuinely interested in what you like, is not an unwelcome feeling. He feels himself warm up a little bit to Bachira as he responds reluctantly, "...I like the shining."
Bachira's eyes light up once Rin's response comes. "No way! You like horror? Me too!" He grins widely, leaning impossibly further across the table right in Rin's personal space. "What'd you think of hereditary? Or tag! Have you seen Alice in Borderland!?" Bachira launches into a million questions.
Normally, Rin would be annoyed beyond belief at pace in which Bachira's speaking. For some odd reason he doesn't seem to mind it when Bachira is rambling endlessly about horror classics both new and old. He even finds himself giving his own input and debating with Bachira over Junji Ito's work. It feels as though they're old friends and this is an everyday conversation between them.
While Bachira launches into a rant on his favorite horror game Rin only half pays attention. He comes to a realization that Bachira is staring at him but he doesn't mind it as much as he used to. It still bothers him, but it bothers him significantly less.
Even when their food is long done and they've said their goodbyes outside the restaurant a warm feeling accompanies Rin on his walk home. Bachira may not be completely terrible after all.
Across their tutoring sessions and sporadic hangouts Bachira and Rin grow increasingly closer. Of course that doesn't mean Rin's changed or anything of that nature. Rin is still the same asshole he's always been and Bachira still takes it all in stride. But now, there's an almost fond edge to Rin's words. Before they know it the semester is nearly over and finals are looming over the horizon.
There's a new set of unexplored feelings blooming in Rin's heart. He isn't quite sure what it is but he doesn't completely hate it. It's not like he can really talk about it anyways. For some odd reason, he feels weirdly against telling people about his newfound friendship with Bachira. Maybe it's a part of him that wants to gatekeep Bachira, as though he were some rare jewel that Rin happened to stumble upon. Although, that doesn't really sound right considering the fact that Bachira is friends with everyone so there's nothing to gatekeep. Maybe it's something else, a completely different feeling that doesn't involve friendship.
Rin shuts the thought down before it evolves deeper. This isn't something he wants to think about right now. Especially considering the fact that he's about to see Bachira in less than five minutes.
The subway doors open prompting Rin to get up from his seat and move along with the swarm of people onto the station platform. He looks around hoping to find his friend (?), but is caught completely off guard when Bachira finds him first. The older jumps onto Rin's back without warning scaring him. He nearly falls over but thankfully he keeps his balance while gripping Bachira's thighs to prevent him from slipping off.
"Hi Rin-chan!" Bachira shouts in Rin's ear. A look of irritation makes it's way onto the younger's face as his brow furrows. "You can't just do that jackass!" Rin yells back, scolding his friend. If it were anyone else Rin would've let them fall and walked away. Too bad Bachira isn't just anyone else to him.
The two bicker as they walk to the day's planned activity. At some point Bachira hops off of Rin's back in favor of skipping along the streets. Rin watches him with an unknowingly soft expression on his face. Anyone who saw them would've thought they were a couple with how Rin watches him.
Sooner, rather than later, they arrive at the location. They'd taken a couple wrong turns due to Bachira's terrible ability with directions, but they made it. Bachira eagerly pushes Rin inside, overly excited for the display of sea animals. "Watch it." Rin hisses as Bachira nearly knocks him into a little girls. "Whoops!" Bachira shrugs with a grin on his face completely free of remorse. Rin rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything else.
As they stroll together inside the aquarium Rin notices things. No, it's not how many different type of fish there are or how cool manta rays are. Everything he notices is somehow Bachira related. It's weird. He sees how the older's voice grows incredibly excited as they approach the dolphin exhibit. It makes him want to snap a picture of Bachira's smiling face, not the sea animals.
That's not the only instance of these weird noticings. He also finds himself paying an odd amount of attention to how the light of the fish tanks illuminates Bachira's gold hair, or how it outlines the sharpness of his nose and the roundness of his eyes. Rin even finds himself noticing how long Bachira's eyelashes are. It's all so weird and its making Rin's minds come up with even weirder scenarios and thoughts.
He wonders what would happen if he reached out and held Bachira's hand? Would Bachira be silent for once and blush? Would he giggle knowingly as though Rin was showing his heart on his sleeve this whole time? Or would he be caught completely off guard and instantly push him away? Would he be delighted or disgusted?
Rin shakes his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts. This cannot be happening. He cannot seriously be thinking about this right now. Where'd this even come from? Bachira is his friend, nothing more. He hasn't even experienced his first-love for christ's sake. The first person he falls for will absolutely not be Bachira. He'd rather have to endure living with Sae and Shidou than acknowledge that Bachira may be the first person who's captured his heart.
It's a scary feeling that swallows Rin whole. As much as he tries to run away from it like he does other uncomfortable feelings, he can't. It spreads through his brain and seeps into his nervous system faster than it takes for him to acknowledge it.
Every one of Rin's steps feel sluggish and slow, as though he's having a hard time controlling his body. His limbs move on autopilot as his mind and heart continue to go to war with one another. His heart screams at him to stop being a coward and acknowledge what he's been avoiding. His mind, on the other hand, tells him to be reasonable and not give into temptation. It tells him to make the right choice and not destroy the growing friendship between the two. It's better to have Bachira as his friend than to risk that because of some confusing feelings. It might not even be a crush, it's probably not. Rin's confused. That's it.
His heart still doesn't seem to get memo as it overtakes every fibre of Rin's being. Suddenly his mind isn't making sense either. They're standing by the jellyfish display alone and Rin's no longer the making the decisions, his heart is. A wave of impulsiveness washes over him when his eyes meets Bachira's. The blue light being admitted by the display shines onto Bachira's face, painting him in blue hues. Despite this he's still just as beautiful and his eyes are just as gold as they've always been. Maybe even more so now.
His stare makes Rin uncomfortable but not because it's creepy. It makes him uncomfortable because it gives him hordes of butterflies swarming around in his butterfly.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Bachira asks him.
"No, you're the beautiful one." Is what he itches to say. He doesn't but that's when Rin truly knows he's a goner.
Without thinking he leans forward, cradles Bachira's face in his hands, and crashes his lips against the older's. The moment lasts for a second when Rin's mind finally gains control of his body again and pulls away. Rin stares at Bachira's shocked face, suddenly feeling like an ice cold bucket of water was poured onto him. "Rin, I-" Bachira begins.
Rin doesn't wait to hear his response. He turns around on his heel, running away from Bachira and the aquarium, and all his problems. Why the hell did he do that? What is wrong with him?
Before he knows it he's all sweaty and out of breathe when he slumps onto a chair on the subway. He stares out the window with earbuds in, contemplating jumping onto the train tracks. His phone buzzes endlessly from Bachira's texts but he makes no move to read them.
Closing his eyes, Rin wishes that he could go back and restart his entire day, redo things a different way. Nothing of what he's done today is like him at all. Hell, his whole friendship with Bachira and the feelings that followed were the furthest thing from in character for him. He slaps a hand over his forehead, feeling a headache incoming.
He never should've agreed to tutor Bachira in the first place. If he continued being the icy asshole he's always been then he wouldn't be experiencing all these weird emotions. He wouldn't be falling for a guy who probably never saw him as anything more than one of his many acquaintances.
Two days pass and there are a few things that remain the same.
1.) Rin is still a mess.
2.) He still hasn't answered, let alone checked Bachira's texts.
3.) Bachira is still texting him.
4.) He isn't looking forward to seeing Bachira in class the following day. He's heavily considering skipping it for the first time in his life.
5.) The question, "what if he hates me now?" weighs heavy on his mind.
Rin is laying as still as stone in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He considers maybe calling Sae, extending an olive branch, and telling him about what's been happening. He doesn't know who else to go to or what he should do. Rin is absolutely sure Bachira hates him after he unconsensually kissed him and then just ran off like a coward. He hasn't even been brave enough to pick up his phone and beg for forgiveness.
The ongoing storm outside mirrors Rin's inner turmoil. The sound of the rain hitting his window is normally comforting but this time it does nothing to soothe his stress.
He just isn't sure what he should do. Loving? No, that's too strong a word. Liking someone isn't something Rin has ever experienced before. For the past decade the only thing on his brain has been soccer, beating Sae, and winning the world cup. Rin's good at being a striker, at kicking ass on the field, not confronting his and other's emotions.
Just when he's about to reach for his phone and cave into calling Sae there's a pounding on his door. Rin get's up from his bed, confused at who it could possibly be at this hour. He opens his door ready to curse out whoever the hell is bother him, but he goes mute when he sees who it is.
It's none other than Bachira, soaking wet from the storm outside, and breathing heavily. Rin isn't sure what he looks like at the sight but it's probably a mixture of shock yet relief. If Bachira's here then that has to mean he doesn't hate him, right?
Before Rin can open his mouth and ask why Bachira's there, the older speaks first, a determined look in his gold honey eyes.
"Hey, Rin-chan, can we try that again?" He breathes out softly, staring up at Rin with a wild look in his eyes. Before Rin can even process what's going on Bachira is already smashing their lips together. Rin's eyes flutter shut and he pulls Bachira closer to him by the hips. They're stumbling into the dorm with their hands roaming across each other's bodies. Kissing Bachira feels electric. It's a feeling that's only rivaled by when Rin won his first soccer match as a kid. He feels drunk on the way their lips move in tandem, on the way Bachira's fingers feel as soft as cotton holding onto his biceps.
This moment right here might just qualify for one of the best of Rin's life. That's what Rin's mind tells itself in the moment. In hindsight, the events it sparks may mark some of the worst times of his life.
After all, the universe certainly doesn't want you to have it all, and after twenty something years of Rin having it all his time is up