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It’s raining.
Jun’s never really liked rain. His father would always be forced to stay home, and that’s as bad as it can get.
It’s cold, and Jun isn’t quite sure where he is. He’s hungry and miserable and every horrible thing wrapped up into one shivering body, and all he has to defend himself against the natural elements is a thin windbreaker that definitely wasn’t made to withstand a thunderstorm.
It was another night where his father came home with alcohol staining every inch of his body; another night where his mother sighed and retreated back into the bedroom, refusing to acknowledge both father and son in the messy living room.
And just like any other night, his father’s voice slurs. He starts shouting about his miseries, and about Sagami Jin and the idol industry. Jun can’t help but stare longingly at the shut bedroom door. Everynight, he prays silently for his mother to come out and take him with her - back into the bedroom, where a layer of wood will separate him from the realities of their household, of beer bottles and unwashed laundry that sit quietly and accompany him as he watches concert videos of idols in secrecy.
But unlike any other night, Jun forgets to shut the family laptop. A video of Sagami Jin’s performance plays on the screen, and he doesn’t realise his mistake until his father lapses into silence mid-rant. He immediately dodges something that is thrown his way, falling on his back and watching as his father slowly stumbles up to him in a drunken haze. His father knocks down a few beer bottles, and the sound of the glass clinking and crashing into a pile is enough to shake Jun out of his shock.
Jun runs. He pushes himself up and makes a grab for the jacket sitting on the table and dashes for the door, dodging under his father’s furious swings and slamming the front door behind him.
He doesn’t bother looking back as he continues running into the rain. He doesn’t think about Sagami Jin as he takes a random path into a dingy alleyway. He doesn’t think about his mother as he turns right at a traffic junction he’s never seen before, and he refuses to think about his father as he ducks under an awning in front of a convenience store.
As if he isn’t cold enough, there’s a few holes in the awning’s cloth, causing rainwater to occasionally drip on him and add weight to his already-soaked clothes. The sound of the rain hitting the pavement and the accompanying strikes of lighting makes his head pound harder, worsening whatever headache he sprouted from the desperate escape out of the house. He wants to slap his hands over his ears, but they’re so stiff that he doesn’t even have the energy to lift them. His body involuntarily flinches whenever thunder sounds, and he tries to wrap the windbreaker tighter around himself to give himself more warmth.
He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears the squeak of a pair of sneakers. A pair of shoes appear before him, and he looks up to see a red-haired boy with an umbrella, watching him curiously.
The boy crouches down and Jun attempts to make himself smaller, curling into himself in fear. The redhead attempts a lighthearted smile and tilts his head. “Hey kid, you okay? What’re you doing out here in this weather?”
Jun looks away, keeping his mouth shut as the boy studies him closely. Although Jun can’t sense any weird intentions from him, he can’t trust anyone outside. Stranger danger, a fear that was well drilled into his head thanks to elementary school.
“Do you want some food? We got some at home, and you look like you haven’t eaten in a while,” the red-haired boy continues, unaffected by the lack of response. When he’s greeted with silence again, he sits himself on the pavement beside Jun, ignoring the wetness of the ground. He angles the umbrella above the both of them and Jun resists the urge to move closer to the taller boy for the warmth.
“Listen, it’s not safe to be out here now. I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you, just that the streets aren’t the safest for someone your age at this time, okay? Is there anyone I can call for you? I don’t have a cellphone with me, but we have a landline back at the apartment.” The words float through Jun’s mind as the other continues rambling about getting Jun back to safety, but nothing goes into his cotton-filled head.
He feels his eyes closing against his will mid-way through the boy’s foreign rambling, and he blinks himself awake with whatever energy he has left. He can’t feel or move his legs, having grown numb from sitting still in the freezing cold for so long, and he dimly wonders if he should be concerned about that.
His stomach tightens uncomfortably, the empty ache threatening to swallow him whole as he tries to think of the last time he ate. Was it breakfast? He remembers shoving stale bread into his mouth after rummaging through every cabinet in the kitchen to find something edible, even if it has to be forced past his unwilling taste buds. Did he eat lunch? He remembers the afternoon spent trying to mimic some of Sagami Jin’s choreographies, but there’s nothing regarding food.
He must’ve forgotten to eat again.
The world tilts on its axis. His head’s heavier than it should be and the windbreaker slips out of his weakning grip as the colours blend into each other. Jun, unable to stave off the following nausea, clenches his eyes shut. He hears a panicked squawk from beside him as he tilts forward, and -
-
Jun wakes up in a foreign bed. The room is pitch black, with the curtains drawn shut to completely block out any light. He has no idea what the time is, and he can almost delude himself to believe that he’s stuck in a beautiful dream, away from home and all the expectations that came with it.
The mattress is softer than anything he’s ever slept on. The weighted blanket that’s thrown over him is warm and cozy, and he almost wants to fall back asleep when reality hits. He doesn’t know if he should start laughing or crying at the idea of passing out and waking up in a stranger’s bedroom with the best sleep that he’s gotten in years.
His windbreaker is no longer on him, and that’s enough to activate the alarm bells in his head. He gets out of the comfortable bed reluctantly and tip-toes over to the ajar door, gently pushing it a little wider to increase his field of vision without getting the attention of his unknown saviour.
Or, saviours.
As he sneaks a look at the living room, he sees a grey-haired boy with a ponytail in their kitchen. The boy is of similar height to him, and he’s busy stirring a pot. The red-haired guy that he vaguely remembers seeing last before he collapsed lounges on the coach, idly scrolling through the channels on the TV.
The grey-haired boy lets out a sigh and places his free hand on his hips. “Really, Rinne-kun, I know I picked you up last time, but this doesn’t mean you can invite more strays! We barely have enough to survive on, and they won’t let me work until I’ve graduated!”
The waft of ramen broth coming from the kitchen makes his mouth water, and he prays that his stomach doesn’t make any unwanted growling noises. His abdomen cramps painfully, a nasty reminder of his basic needs being unmet and he resists the hiss of pain that threatens to escape his throat.
The red-haired boy lazily waves a hand from the couch and laughs boisterously. “It’s fine, we’ll survive, and I’ll make sure you’ll always have enough to eat!”
The chef rolls his eyes as he stirs the pot. “By threatening the neighbours again? You’ll get us arrested!”
That’s enough to scare Jun. Will they extort money from him for giving him a place to rest? He’s never heard of criminals offering their bedrooms to the poor souls that they stumble across, but Jun ultimately decides that he needs to get out of this place fast. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, signalling his entrance to the others in the living room. He stands awkwardly and watches as 2 pairs of eyes turn to him in shock.
“You’re awake, kid!” The red-hair excitedly stands, and makes a move towards him with an outstretched arm. Surprised, Jun flinches, clenching his eyes shut as he raises an arm to block the incoming strike.
The room lapses into a tense silence as Jun slowly opens his eyes again at the lack of impact. The boy’s now further away from him, hands raised in a show of surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll stay away.”
Jun slowly lowers his arm. The red-haired boy takes a few more steps back, and the kid in the kitchen has paused in his cooking to watch their interaction with concern in his eyes.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” Jun murmurs, bowing deeply and breaking the tension in the room. “I’ll get out of your hair now,” he eyes the door on his left, hoping to escape before they demand money from him.
He’ll have to make do without his windbreaker. It’s fine. He’s dealt with worse situations (like the time he was tired and refused to practise his dancing, only to find himself locked out of the house the next day until his mother took pity on him).
“Wait, before you go,” the grey-haired boy suddenly speaks up, interrupting Jun’s train of thought. He points at the simmering broth and cocks his head. “I made some food for you. Have some before you leave?”
Jun’s about to reject his kind offer, desperate to leave the apartment, but his stomach, hearing the idea of food and being full for once, decides to betray him. His face flushes a bright pink as it growls loudly and he resists the urge to make a dash for the front door, shifting nervously on the spot.
The redhead raises his eyebrows in amusement. “Well, that answers the question. Table for 3, Niki!” Niki acknowledges the words with a silent nod, and turns to take some utensils out of the kitchen drawers.
The older boy then turns to Jun and gestures to the dining table. “Don’t worry, we won’t bite! Or at least, I won’t! Not sure about Niki though!” the boy laughs. Jun takes a cautious step towards the chair closest to the front door and sits, watching as the other takes the seat across him.
From the kitchen, Niki pouts. “That was one time!” he whines as he ladles broth into a bowl. “And that was your fault! You ate all my emergency snacks!”
The boy lets out a bark of laughter, before turning towards Jun. “The name’s Amagi Rinne, and the prized chef in the kitchen cooking for us is Shiina Niki! What’s yours, kid?”
“...Jun,” he says after a second of hesitation. If Rinne was curious at the lack of a last name, it didn’t show on his face.
“Nice to meet you, Junjun!” Rinne grins. “Welcome to our humble abode!”
“You don’t even have keys to the place yet, Rinne-kun.” Niki retorts, carrying a bowl of ramen with him. He gingerly places a steaming bowl in front of Jun, along with a pair of chopsticks. “Dig in, Jun-chan!”
Hesitantly, Jun picks up the chopsticks and stares at the daunting bowl of ramen. His mouth waters at the smell of the miso broth, but his eyes flicker between Niki, who has already returned to the kitchen, and Rinne, who watches him expectantly.
“It’s okay, you can eat first,” Rinne says. “I bet you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday, and Niki’s food is to die for! Don’t be shy!”
Jun takes his first bite of the noodles. His eyes widen at the richness of the broth on his tongue, and his actions quicken as he shoves more noodles into his mouth. He hasn’t had homemade food in a long time, and he used to think his mother’s home cooked food was the best, but this..? He could scarcely believe that a kid his age managed to cook up such flavours!
Rinne was right: Niki’s food really is worth the near-death experience in the freezing cold!
By the time Jun finishes his bowl, Rinne and Niki are already halfway through their own bowls of ramen. “Was it okay?” Niki asks upon noticing Jun’s empty bowl. “There’s extras, if you’d like them!”
Although Jun’s stomach yearns for more of the delicious ramen, a voice in his head warns him to stop. Warns him that he’s still within the 4 walls of 2 strangers that could easily hold these extra expenses against him, who he’s still indebted to for saving him.
It takes him all his willpower to shake his head and whisper,” it’s okay. I’m full. Thank you for the food.”
“It’s no problem!” The chef grins, and returns to demolishing his bowl of noodles. Jun looks up to see Rinne studying him with a curious expression, his own bowl emptied in the short time that the conversation took place.
“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Rinne suddenly asks, leaning lazily on his palm. Something must have shown on Jun’s face, because Rinne simply shrugs in response. “It’s a common question here, right?” he continues, “I’ll go first. I want to be an idol.”
Jun’s eyes widen. An idol ? Just like him? Someone else that can understand the joys of performing, and simultaneously appreciate the efforts put into every movement, every minute detail that makes the performance perfect?
“I want to be an idol too!” Jun exclaims, determination shining in his eyes as he slaps his hands on the table in excitement. Any wariness that remained after dinner immediately dissipates as Jun leans closer to Rinne in excitement. “Who’s your favourite idol?”
“Favourite?” Rinne hums. “I don’t think I have one. I just want to be one!”
“Are there any idol schools that you want to go to?” Jun asks.
At the mention of schools, Rinne tenses up and exchanges a look with Niki. “That’ll be…a problem. I can’t attend any of them.”
“Why not?”
Rinne raises his index finger. “Firstly, I’m wayy older than you, kid. They won’t accept me.” He raises a second finger and sighs. “Secondly, I’m not..from around here. I don’t have any of my documents with me.”
“Oh.” Jun frowns. “But that’s not fair. Why should any of those stop you from being an idol?”
“And it won’t!” Rinne’s grin is back on his face, and Jun feels his heart lighten at the sight. After spending his entire life hearing drunken criticism after criticism slamming the idol industry, it’s refreshing to hear that there’s someone else who’s unwilling to give up his dreams in spite of the obstacles standing his way.
“What about you?” Jun turns to look at Niki. “Do you want to be an idol too?”
“Idol? Well, I want to be a chef,” Niki starts, “but if Rinne-kun wants to be an idol, I’ll be an idol too!”
“As a duo?”
“Duo? I’m not sure what that is, but if it helps Rinne-kun accomplish his dreams then I’ll do it.”
“Niki!” Rinne wails, causing Jun to jump slightly in his seat at the sudden outburst. “You’re too good to lil ol’ me…let’s get married!”
“Absolutely not!” Niki huffs, gathering his and Jun’s bowls. “Men can’t marry each other in Japan anyways, so it’s never going to happen even if you wanted it.”
Rinne sticks out his tongue at Niki, before turning to Jun. “You can watch TV, if you want! I’ll be helping my dear Niki with the dishes.” Rinne moves to the kitchen with his bowl, leaving Jun alone at the kitchen table.
Deciding to follow Rinne’s instructions, Jun moves to sit on the edge of the couch. It’s a worn thing, but at least the leather isn’t torn or stinking of sweat and alcohol. He leaves the remote control on the coffee table, choosing to obediently watch whatever’s playing on the television rather than mess with anything.
He can hear the other 2 having a conversation in low voices in the kitchen, and he attempts to strain his ears to try and follow it to no avail. He picks up a few words here and there, and he swears his name was mentioned once or twice, but he’s unable to piece together a concrete sentence. His mind immediately jumps to the worst case scenarios, and he can’t help but wonder if they’ve already called the police.
Taking hold of a loose thread on the couch, he mindlessly fiddles with it, thoughts running wild, when Niki finally comes out of the kitchen by himself. There’s an unreadable expression on his face and Jun’s hands start to tremble slightly.
Maybe this is where their kindness ends. They’ll kick him out of the house, send him to the nearest police station, and officially wash their hands of him. He’d be sent back home and the thought of that house and the imposing figures that haunt it causes his heart to race. His breathing stutters and he lets out a loud gasp.
In a flash, the blurry figure of the greyhead appears in front of him. “Jun-chan, are you okay?” Niki’s hands hover hesitantly over him, and Jun can’t find it in him to respond as the words clog in his throat.
“Rinne-kun, come out here! I think he’s dying!” Niki yells in a panicked tone. The sound of footsteps quickly follows, and now there’s a new blob of red in Jun’s blurred vision. “I don’t know what happened! I just walked out of the kitchen and he’s hyperventilating!”
There’s a hand over his, and it’s gently brought to someone’s chest. The sudden contact allows Jun to refocus his vision, and he blinks a few times before everything becomes clear again.
“Follow my breathing, Junjun,” Rinne hums, taking exaggerated, but steady breaths. Niki kneels beside Rinne, wringing his hands and staring with worry in his eyes.
Jun forces himself to follow Rinne’s breathing, and it feels like an eternity before it evens out again and his heartbeat steadies. There’s a sticky sensation on his face, and he uses a free hand to rub the drying tear stains.
Jun looks at them and takes a deep breath. Better to be disappointed now than to be surprised later. “You’re gonna kick me out, right?” Jun asks, feeling very, very small. His hands are still held in Rinne’s larger ones. “I’m sorry for imposing, I’ll leave now, please don’t report me.”
The 2 boys in front of him share a look with each other and Jun’s heart sinks.
“Listen, we would love to have you here, but it’s not the..ideal place to be, especially with your goals. Is there anyone looking for you? Or a place you can go to?” Rinne asks, an unusual tone of gentleness accompanying his voice. “It’s not safe to be out there by yourself.”
Jun shakes his head. “I’m not going back there.” It feels like a weight has been taken off his chest once he declares this. The weight of the expectations that has been dumped upon him from the moment of his birth till now, imposed on him by his father’s failures and his mother’s fears.
He doesn’t want to be an idol because of his father’s desire to live vicariously through his son. He wants to be an idol because he wants to be on that stage, dancing and singing his heart out for anyone that will listen to him. He wants to be an idol because he knows of the hope that a faraway, distant figure can provide for someone struggling on the ground, because he wants to be to another kid what Sagami Jin was to him.
“You can stay here with us!” Niki grins. “I only know food, so I don’t know much about being an idol, but the 3 of us can do it together!”
“Together..” Jun repeats dumbly.
“You probably know more about idol stuff than both of us do, so we’ll be in your care!” Rinne laughs, giving Jun’s hand a warm squeeze. “Welcome to your new home!”
Home . What a foreign word. Perhaps, Jun will finally understand what his classmates mean when they talk about ‘home’ in an excited voice. He’ll finally understand why those idols talk about returning ‘home’ during interviews, and how their eyes glow with happiness and their tone audibly lightens.
Jun’s heart swells, and he lunges forward to envelop the 2 strangers-turned-family in a sudden hug. Niki lets out a yelp as he’s pulled towards Jun, and Rinne only laughs and ruffles his hair gently.
This time, the tears streaming down his cheeks are happy ones as he sobs into Rinne’s shoulders.
Jun feels loved , and within the tight embrace of the other 2 boys, he realises that maybe, home is just a simple apartment shared by 3 kids trying to figure their way through life.