Chapter Text
Xeno blinked a few times as sleep cleared from his mind. Lifting his head he slowly picked up a pen and moved his notes aside to write on a new sticky note. He messily drew a rough loopy shape, filled with small jagged lines. Studying it for a moment, he drew another, better one. There was a rustling across from him and Stanley looked up at him.
"You promised to wake me up if I fell asleep," Xeno said without looking up.
"What's that?" Stan pointed to the paper, avoiding the question. His friend's eyebags were dark enough, what hurt did a little more sleep do?
"Stan. You know I have to finish this lab." His white eyebrows started to furl together. Xeno's tone didn't express any anger, but it was easy to tell when he was annoyed. His shoulders started to sag a little, and then he would hold eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time, Stan had gotten used to ignoring it.
Finally, Xeno sighed, "A Trefoil Knot,"
"Ah, just science stuff?"
"No, this doesn't have to do with my assignment." Xeno crumpled it up and tossed it to the side, just a stupid thought he wanted to iron out. The other boy reached out and grabbed it. Unfolding the crumpled paper he flipped it around in his hands unable to tell which was the top and bottom of the page.
"Looks like some circuit board or something."
Xeno decided to humor him, "Yeah, like some weird technology." Stan rose an eyebrow and handed it back to him. "I saw it in a dream, that's all." Xeno took it back, setting it aside with a glance.
"What dream?"
"It's nothing." Xeno dove into his work again. He tuned out the voice of Stanley, he didn't want to think about him right now or his questions: What was the dream about? What is that thing?
It wasn't worth mentioning. And Xeno didn't want to think about it. That's the earliest time he could recall that dream. The Trefoil Knot was there, but most importantly he didn't want to tell Stan what happened. "In my dream, you died," Xeno said in his mind as an empty thought. It wasn't real, but the idea felt placed in his mind. Why did it sort of hurt? It was just a dream. It wasn't real. It wasn't.
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Xeno had never had reoccurring dreams before. Just some fragment that would occasionally come into his mind. But it started to bug him and he researched it. There wasn't any kind of great stress in his life, it was incredibly fulfilling right now, and he didn't exactly have a hard life before that. He got enough sleep with no trouble. Things like dream dictionaries didn't have any scientific basis, but still, he conceded in them for some kind of sense.
There was only a messy answer. He 'felt anger towards the words or himself'. Of course, he had things he didn't like about the world, but his only growing problem with himself was this dream.
He was fighting someone. Some kid who looked younger than his current age. This kid had an army of his own, but so did Xeno. In the dream, he felt so cold, and there were certain things he remembered. Slim details. The kid's name was.... he had heard it clearly but every time he woke he forgot it. It started with an S, and then maybe an N? And his last name was Ish... I.... some work of sounds. And then Xeno.... he killed him. Other information made more sense when he woke, something no one had to tell him for him to understand. Somehow Stan had 'died' and there was that triple loop knot and ..... and..... Usually, that's when he woke up.
It was real. But to see himself, to experience the act of murder. Not once but over and over. Guilt was building in his gut like a heavy stone and he couldn't get over it. He wrote down his dream in a journal and tried to change his sleep pattern but it still came. It felt so conflicting. No matter how he tried to think about it logically guilt ate him alive. To think he was capable of that. To hurt a child! To kill him...
His phone started to ring in his pocket and he dropped the thoughts of his nightmare. "Hello?"
"Xeno,"
"Stan?"
"Where are you?"
He cussed under his breath, "Sorry, I'm on my way." He rushed to shuck off his lab coat and badge as he left his internship. Xeno was never late, this only stacked onto the guilt clouding his mind.
They were meeting up for the first time in a whole month. And he had forgotten. He walked quickly and found Stan in their favorite coffee shop. He looked up and smiled, already holding Xeno's usual order. "Sorry," Xeno sighed and sat down across from him.
"It's alright, Xen. I know you've been busy."
Xeno had graduated high school early and left Stan behind. A whole two years early, due to some gifted program in middle school that let him take high school classes at the ripe age of 13. Then he went straight into college. Already a second year at the age of 18, he had places he wanted to be and was wasting no time in getting there. Only a year ago he had applied for an internship at NASA where he wanted to work, and after being on a waitlist for some time he was finally an intern there while also going to school. It seemed like he was already so accomplished, well on his way to his doctorate.
Stan was simply a senior in high school.
A conflicting expression came over Xeno's face and he shrugged, "Yeah, I have." His mind had been distant lately, and his work got done slowly. Xeno wasn't busy at all. Just absent. Just distant. In truth, the scientist didn't feel like meeting Stanley at all. But now that he was here he was slightly glad he came, that he got out of his usual cycle.
"I'm going to join the military once I graduate," Stan said.
"Oh, good for you." Xeno studied the lid of his coffee cup blankly. There was a pink smudge on it. Stan must have tried it even though he already knows he doesn't like it. It was just black coffee with a minuscule amount of cream.
"Xeno? Xeno?"
He looked up again. "Sorry,"
"If you didn't want to hang out today you could have just said so. You need some sleep." Stan said softly.
"I've had this dream." The other man blurted out hesitantly. "A reoccurring one." His friend looked at him, listening. Xeno almost stopped himself from going on, this was the last thing he wanted to go on about. It had consumed his mind for so long, but talking about it just made it feel more real. It scared him. "It's just been on my mind is all."
"I'm going to guess it's not a good dream."
"It's... not. What I do in the dream just seems so, well, offputting. Out of character. I feel a little sick thinking about it." Xeno admitted. It was clear this was weighing on him. "I killed someone."
"Oh, do you know why?" Stan said calmly.
"No, but I had to. I... " Xeno sighed. There were so many details he could add, but he shut his mouth.
They both went quiet. Xeno took a sip of his coffee, a long one.
"Whatever the reason, if you're the one who did it, then I trust your judgment. You're the smartest person I know." Stan shrugged.
"But where to divide the line of morality and rationality?" Xeno rested his head on his hand. "The philosopher Immanuel Kant argued that morality had to be based on reason, but there were several flaws with that. In reality, that doesn't work at all. Humanities self-interests constantly override their value in simple morals. People lie for their gains. They hurt other people for selfish desires. That is simply because their shared sense of morality isn't based on reason. And it never will be." He sighed like he was repeating some spiel he had said dozens of times.
Stanley chuckled. "Uh-huh. Don't overthink it. I know you tend to do that."
"This isn't above you Stan, it applies to you too," Xeno said with slight agitation. "You're joining the military, I hope you have a full understanding of what comes with that." The scientist already knew Stan did. He wasn't an idiot. Stanley Snyder was quite smart despite never pursuing higher education. He easily got perfect grades and could have graduated a year early from high school if he wanted. But he didn't have any set goal like Xeno, and he felt he was only joining the army to get away from home.
It was always nice to talk with him because Xeno knew not everything he said went over his friend's head.
"Yeah, yeah," Stan said.
"Why are you enlisting anyway?" A smile pulled at Xeno's lips. "Does it have anything to do with that whole football incident?"
"That was two years ago," Stan said dryly.
Xeno had needed money for his science endeavors. He had used the last of it making a crude gun for Stan after he so insisted. They gathered up a bunch of gullible people and made a bet with them. A bet on whether Stan could shoot a football mid-game. Instantly everyone bet against him after finding out he had never even shot a gun before. But he did it. He really did. The ball deflated mid-game and it was assumed to be faulty equipment.
Xeno was the only one who bet for Stan and they walked away with so much money. Several people accused them of scamming them, and let's just say it took a while for Xeno to feel safe walking home. In reality, he simply put his trust in his best friend and it happened to work out. It was quite funny to look back, he had been quite immature.
"I know. You've always been a natural at shooting. And you've gotten better. It's kind of nice knowing I have someone around who could step in and protect me, like a knight." Xeno teased with a smirk. "Like you used to."
Stan rolled his eyes but his smile betrayed him. He was just glad Xeno wasn't brooding anymore.
Xeno was going to miss spending time with him. Stan was going to leave and they would be apart. He tried to enjoy their time together, but his worries were still in the back of his mind. The worst part was, that no matter how he went about that dream, it felt real. Everything about the dream made him worry it was a kind of deja vu that hadn't happened yet. Like some precognitive dream.
There was no evidence to support such a thing. But maybe they just hadn't found it yet.
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The longer it went on the less it happened, but it came with frequency. There was so much conjecture he could make about it, but he was never sure. He used his internship as a way to distract his mind. This was a valuable experience, essential to get his desired job. His heels clicked down the shiny floor as he rounded the cornor of the hall. He just had to deliver a few papers and then he could—
"Ah, Mr Wingfield!" A chipper voice rang out before the man chuckled softly. It was a familiar face. One of the people in the selection for the next astronauts. He was incredibly friendly and rather loud for a Japanese person. He fit right in. "How are you doing?"
"Byakuya," Xeno smiled politely. "And just Xeno is fine." Byakuya had insisted when they first met that he used his first name despite Xeno's attempt to use his last name. Besides, it felt weird to be called 'Mr' when he was just barely an adult (Xeno was still technically a teenager). Yet soon he would be 'Dr'. That's when he caught sight of something on his coworker's back.
"I didn't mean to yell earlier, but I wanted you to meet my son, although he's asleep right now." He whispered. "I showed him all around the building, he has a passion for science." Byakuya chuckled, "This is Senku Ishigami."
Senku Ishigami. Senku Ishigami. Senku Ishigami. The name ricocheted in Xeno's mind. That was the name of the figure in his dream. His body froze as he looked at the small innocent face of the child. He couldn't have been older than seven. Senku's spiked hair moved slightly as his father spoke. Byakuya started talking about his son again, but Xeno didn't hear anything.
The very person from his dream was right in front of him but much younger. This was the child he killed? The face he was staring into right now? This was real. In just over ten years, he would be the age in Xeno's dream. He felt sick. Was this some kind of prophecy? Coincidence? Was he having a psychotic break? Was he hallucinating?
Guilt. Heavy, crushing guilt. "Sorry, I have to get these somewhere," he said softly and walked quickly in the opposite direction he had been headed. None of this made sense and he felt so irrational....
Whether this was real or not, he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't kill Senku Ishigami, never. He had to make sure that didn't happen, if, it was going to happen.
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The dream left him in later years. Sometimes he would revisit the memory of it, but it became much less frequent as he aged. His work kept him busy, especially when he started working at NASA full-time. It was one of his proudest accomplishments after getting his doctorate, especially for being so young. But all his hard work had simply paid off.
The silly idea of some prophetic dream faded from his mind. Xeno couldn't understand anymore how he had been so wrapped up in it. Until the day he got a letter. Kids from all over the world had sent letters asking questions, but one stood out. It was about rocket engines in great detail, more than any child should know. But it was also a familiar name. A kid who had been asleep when they met.
In the back of his mind, Xeno still believed that his nightmare was some possible future. Some kind of warning for him to change it (as crazy as that sounded). He knew that in that dream, he was the one who made Senku, Xeno built his own demise in that child. What if he fell right into the same mindset? Why not change the course of the fighting? Couldn't he just ignore this letter? No one else would humor such a response or assume some adult had written it as a joke. They would never exchange words. Xeno didn't have to be a mentor to Ishigami Senku.
But he scratched it from his mind. What he needed was to connect. If he saw Senku was a real person, someone he could connect with, and grow close to, surely he could convince himself more that he would never be able to kill him. Xeno could never kill Stanley or his parents, he had to make sure Senku was on that list.
He thought, that if he could change Senku's mindset and illuminate his view on the corruption of the world, he would be able to see things the same way. But the more he tried, the more stubborn he found his student.
"Science is might." Xeno typed on his computer. "With science in hand, the cleverest among us could rule over the ignorant masses, for example. Science is a truly elegant power." The scientist didn't want to get carried away, but he hoped his words on a screen would strike some kind of change in his protege.
"Nah, I'm just someone who wants to know everything about everything."
Senku was set on his ways, and there was no way for Xeno to change that. He was still so young but already had this cemented idea. It was quite admirable.
But there was one thing he could change. One that might change the events of that nightmare.
DARPA was hosting a Tech Expo in Pinnacles National Park... or that was what they were calling it. Its true purpose was to discuss the findings of the petrified swallows and what this meant for the US. Was it some sort of terrorism? Or a foreign attack? The best minds and higher-ups in the US had gathered to figure it out.
It was a wonderful delight to see Stanley again after their years apart. But there was another face. Xeno had sent another invitation because who deserved to be there more than the boy who discovered the stone swallows were real birds that had been turned to stone? The one who figured out they were proportional to their population based on social media posts.
Senku had put up a few complaints, not seeing the need to be there, but he wanted more information as well and managed the long flight to the US by himself. Senku stood beside him in a white lab coat as opposed to Xeno's black one. He had grown up so much, for better or for worse.
Xeno had debated with himself for a long while about the invitation. One thing was always clear in his dream. He lost. Whatever he was fighting with Senku over, he lost. In the dream, he could tell that the fight was in America. So that's where he struggled with his decision.
If the fight was in America, he could simply not invite Senku to the summit. He wouldn't be in the US. However, he figured it would be easier to have his greatest threat in arms reach. Because no matter how much he wanted to avoid his dream... he wanted to win. He wanted to win. In the dream, that was by eliminating his threat, but if he was prepared, maybe he could change it. He could win without causing any casualties.
"Who's the kid?" Stan asked. He didn't understand the need for some kid who looked to be a high schooler, but some other girl had been invited to. Some young geographer. Xeno wouldn't have invited this guy without reason.
"Ishigami Senku," Senku said quickly. He wanted to get this over with quickly. He wanted to do an experiment testing what material was in the stone sparrows, but he couldn't do it until he was back in Japan. Plus, his dumb friend wouldn't stop messaging him about how he was going to ask out his crush. It was midday back in Japan but there in California the moon was shining on them. "Let's skip the details. Dr. Xeno, what do you know about the swallows?" He asked bluntly.
The actual meeting wasn't until tomorrow morning, but Xeno seemed just as eager to speed things along. "Yes, I conducted my experiments. Slight electrical signals were detected caused by mental activity. There are brain waves."
Those close enough to hear glanced over in surprise.
"You mean they're awake in there?" Stan asked studying the statue Xeno held in his hands.
"Precisely. Most are in a state of 'sleep' but this one," He held it up with a grin, "Is awake and conscious. It's still alive."
"How exciting." Senku and Xeno shared the same smile.
Stanley lit a cigarette, "So.... things hit with this weapon have a chance of surviving if they stay conscious?" Neither scientist seemed to be paying him any mind. They were like two peas in a pod. If Xeno's annoying way of overcomplicating things wasn't enough, this kid made him ten times worse. They looked like opposites as they stood next to each other.
Suddenly, a bright light came over the horizon. An unnatural green light. Everyone seemed to be frozen in shock as they watched it approach. But those nearest... it happened so fast but Stanley could see then turn to stone just like those damn birds. He grabbed Xeno.
"Take cover!" He yelled to anyone who could hear. His elite unit was close enough to hear. "There's probably no way to dodge this... but the real batter begins afterward! Don't let your minds fade!"
There was no time for anything else. Everyone there, every human on earth, was petrified by that light.
