Archive of Our Own

Intak was bored out of his mind.

Alone in the dimly lit hotel room, Intak felt the weight of boredom settle in like an unwelcome guest. The sterile, beige walls seemed to close in on him, and the monotonous hum of the heater served as a constant reminder of the stagnant atmosphere.

The raven-haired laid in his bed, facing the ceiling. He looked around what he could see of the room without moving from his spot, noticing the generic hotel art hanging on the walls - an attempt at decor that did little to alleviate the soulless feeling of hotel rooms. The distant sounds of traffic outside the window provided a stark contrast to the stifling quiet within.

He hated London.

There was nothing really wrong with the city, he loved going to the scheduled concerts, and the festivals they were often invited to - there’s not many things in this life Intak would say he enjoyed more than performing. But after the fourth - maybe fifth, he can't remember -  time of walking around the same city, the dancer was convinced they had already seen anything they could see. And despite Keeho’s efforts this morning to get him to walk around with him, Shota and Jongseob, Intak thinks he would rather jump into traffic than see that stupid clock tower one more time.

Intak snaps out of his thoughts when he hears his door clicking open, straightening up in his bed. There’s absolutely no way on earth Keeho would come back from his city exploring so soon, so who -?

His question is answered before he can even muster it, when a messy-haired Taeyang with a warm white hoodie over his head rounds up the corner to the hotel’s bed. His distracted eyes widened at the sight of Intak, like he didn’t enter his room. “...What are you doing here?” Taeyang looks completely caught off-guard.

Intak snorts, letting his weight rest on his arms, leaning back a little. “This is my room, I should be the one asking that”.

“Jiung is on a recording-stuff binge again so I asked Keeho if I could chill here,” he responds, casually making his way to Keeho’s designated bed. He bounces a little when he throws himself to sit on it. Intak just then notices the Switch on his hands, “I thought he was going sightseeing - why are you not with him?”

“Ugh,” Intak groans, falling back onto his bed, “we’ve already been here so many times, there’s nothing new to watch… What about you?”

“It’s cold,” he mumbles, turning on his console.

“It’s warmer than back home though,” Intak argues just for the sake of arguing. He’s so bored he could disagree with Taeyang on absolutely anything if it only gets him to keep the conversation going.

“So?” Predictably, Taeyang doesn’t indulge him like he hoped he might.

Intak pouts at him. There’s no use getting Taeyang to humor him when he’s giving deadpan responses, so he gives up immediately, letting his head drop back once more. “I just don’t see the point, I dunno”.

“Of sightseeing?” Taeyang doesn’t look at him, focusing on the Switch in his hands. He only plays Animal Crossing anyway, not much to focus on.

“If you’re gonna just go to the same places you’ve already seen, aren't you just wasting money?”

“Wow, you sound fun today,” Intak throws a pillow at his back, but Taeyang doesn’t even react to the attack, so it feels like another futile attempt to add to his list. For a couple of moments there aren’t any words exchanged between them, just the soft clicking of the pads on Taeyang’s console - the volume is set on the lowest settings, faint enough that Intak needs to focus on it, if he wants to hear.

The younger sighs, bored. Quiet moments like these aren’t so rare to come by. Whenever they were not on a busy schedule, their dorm was always relatively tranquil. He loves his members, but all of them enjoyed their quiet time alone more often than not. This, of course, did not apply to them. Because why would Intak spend any quiet time alone when he could spend quiet time with Taeyang.

Something was missing though.

Intak gets up at that thought, needing to take no more than two steps until he’s in Taeyang's space - technically Keeho’s, since it’s his bed. Not much ownership you can claim over a hotel bed anyway. Taeyang, of course, doesn’t spare much attention to the body standing right in front of him besides a faint “hm?”, so the younger takes it as confirmation to flop on his bed. Taeyang adjusts in it, shimming back to give Intak some space so that he’s not hanging by the border, but his attention on his game remains unshakable, even when the younger finds his way into using the other’s lap as his new pillow. The sound of the game is less muted now that he’s closer. He is playing Animal Crossing.

The younger frowns - he’s not sure what exactly he expected out of this, but a complete lack of a reaction wasn’t really in his plans. Taeyang is the clingier of the two, after all - “Why are you not indulging me?”

Taeyang lets out a soft nose exhale at that, cooing at him in a mocking tone - “Ooooow, do you wanna go for a walk? Is that it?” The older uses one of his hands to lightly pet at Intak’s hair to bring home the fact he’s treating him like a dog. He pouts with a frown, turning his gaze up enough to look at Taeyang’s face. He had no idea the other was openly putting his attention on him. The burn of his eyes on him make him drop the act immediately, looking away.

“I already said no to a walk,” he doesn’t mean to pout.

The older lets a few seconds go by to pet Intak’s hair some more, returning to his game fast enough to make him miss the touch. Taeyang doesn’t respond back to him, but rather than feeling ignored, Intak feels like this is just one long pause before they continue talking. So he waits patiently, turning his body to Taeyang’s side to get more comfortable. The soft clicking of the keys and ambient music of his game makes him close his eyes. If he concentrates, he can still hear the soft hum of the heater - if he focuses even harder, he can notice Taeyang himself is humming even softer, matching the music of his game. This is nice.

Intak would not mind spending the rest of his day like this.

Then, Taeyang speaks back up,  “what if you came with me?”

Intak opens his eyes at that, repositioning himself to look at the older once again, “I thought you wanted to stay in.”

“I do,” he makes no sense, but he rarely ever does. “But since it looks like we’re spending the evening together, why not? It’s just you and me.”

The younger laughs, “like a date?”

“Yeah,” Taeyang doesn’t even hesitate.

“Oh,” the exclamation is basically punched out of him, coming out as barely a whisper - surprise can be read all over his face, he’s almost sure. He gulps, sitting up quickly, “Uh… yeah - yeah! Sure”.

Taeyang spares him by not laughing at his flustered reaction - thank god - and only nods, turning off his Switch and getting up from his spot in Keeho’s bed. Intak might miss the warmth already, “I’ll go grab my jacket and shoes then, see you in 10?”

Intak only nods, convinced that trying to use his voice will definitely embarrass him for life. He doesn’t think Taeyang would spare him twice in the same conversation, date or not.

[...]

It doesn’t take Intak 10 minutes to be at the front door of the hotel.

He panicked over his options as soon as Taeyang was out of his sight - should he dress casually for a friendly get-together, or should he opt for something a bit more polished in case this was, indeed, a date? Because - was it a date? Maybe the older was just messing with him, jokingly flirting like he usually does. He always flirts back, so he can’t really judge him.

Except, when Intak flirts, it's a little more honest than - he hopes - Taeyang notices.

Shit - does Taeyang even know he likes him? He wouldn’t be messing with him like this if he did, right? He’s not that cruel. He’s not cruel at all. Taeyang is just wonderful, and Intak is… going on a date with him? Maybe.

He goes anxiously through his luggage - it’s not like he really brought a bunch of clothes for this tour, they only had three more stops until they went right back to Korea, so he only packed enough for a week. How was he supposed to even know - “actually, this jacket is perfect.” He interrupts his own racing thoughts, holding his electric blue letterman jacket in his hands. This will do.

“Because if it’s not a date, this looks casual enough -  I think - I hope?” He speaks out loud to absolutely no one in the room, putting the piece of clothing on. “And if it is a date,” Intak adds to the rant, nervously looking at himself in the mirror, “it looks nice enough, right?”

There’s no one to answer him, and staring at himself in the mirror only makes him all that much hesitant - so he grabs his shoes and phone in record time, jolting out of his hotel room before he even gets to think about it anymore.

So what if he’s a little eager. Could you blame him? All of his plans for today were to rot in bed scrolling on every social media on his phone, order some takeout for himself and then pass out until the next day’s concert. Going on a date with the person he had been crushing on for months was not part of his schedule. 

So yeah… He was a little excited.

Once he’s waiting at the door in front of the hotel, Intak starts switching the weight from the talons of his feet to his toes back and forth. Luckily enough -  Taeyang wasn’t fully wrong when he said it was cold out, so he could blame his fridgeting on how cold it was, instead of fully admitting he was just a nervous mess.

He took a deep breath, attempting to calm the racing thoughts that danced through his mind like agitated butterflies. The weight of uncertainty settled on his shoulders as he questioned himself. Was he sure it was actually a date, or just a friend-date? Intak was never one to call a hangout with a friend a date - but what if Taeyang was? It could have only been a joke too, after all - aren’t most things Taeyang says just jokes? Is this all just a joke?

Intak jolts at the sudden touch on his face. “Stop that,” Taeyang interrupts his crazy inner monologue by poking his cheek - how long has he even been there? “You look like you’re gonna break down.”

“You wish,” Intak tries to defend himself, puffing out the cheek the older touched and hugging his arms - this jacket is so cool. And not warm at all. “I’m just cold”.

“Mhm,” the other ignores him, pulling out the map on his phone and typing away. He's no longer wearing that hood over his head, and Intak feels himself physically restraining from running his hands through the other's hair. It's gotten so long recently, he fears it might not last much longer.

“Where are we going?” Intak clears his throat, realizing how small his voice comes out. He should get it together. This is normal! It’s a normal thing for them, it’s not a big deal. Maybe.

“Hm… Dunno,” Taeyang mumbles, distracted by whatever he’s doing on his phone. “To the center, we’ll figure it out from there.”

“Ok…” He can only nod, even though he’s aware the older is not looking at him. He was not really expecting Taeyang to have a solid plan, after all. It’s a spontaneous date… get-together thing - it’s a normal day . He’s gonna be so normal.

Taeyang stops typing and raises his eyebrows, looking at him from the side of his eyes. Which he only did when he was trying to let you know he’s suspicious of you. Shit . “Any requests?”

“No - no,” he laughs, shaking both hands in front of him. He’s a wreck - can Taeyang notice he’s a wreck, too? He can’t even pretend faux confidence, he knows he can’t. His fame of being a shameless flirt can do absolutely nothing in front of the man who has seen him shy away from the tiniest of touches for months now - god, Taeyang totally knows . “I’m fine with anything, there’s just not much of London we haven’t seen already.”

“Hm… What about the London Eye?” 

“Is that not expensive?”

“Yah!” Taeyang whines, the kind of cutesy noises he only allows himself to make when he’s not on camera, “stop thinking about that! You’re no fun Intak-ah”.

“Ok, ok, sorry” Intak laughs, raising his hands in self defense, “London eye it is,” he smiles, that cheeky grin he only does when he’s about to flirt - this is normal, he can do it. “Will my date pay for me?”

Taeyang grins back, but in his case, it's a condescending, threatening smile, “you will be lucky if your date doesn’t throw you off when we’re at the top”.

This only makes Intak laugh harder, doubling over and grabbing onto Taeyang's arm to stabilize himself through a laughing fit.”Hyung!” he straightens up once his laughter has subsided a little, lightly slapping the arm he held onto just a second ago, still giggling, “you’re a terrible date if you’re threatening me before it even starts!” His voice breaks a little from the laughter still forcing itself out of his lungs, but it only makes Taeyang laugh with him, so he can’t really be embarrassed about it. So normal .

“Call the police while you can,” Taeyang jokes, raising his hand in the form of a finger gun in front of Intak’s face. The younger pretends to be shocked at the threat, scoffing a little laugh with an offended hand to his chest. Taeyang smiles at him, taking a little glance at his phone screen and then looking around, searching for something. His eyes quickly land on whatever he’s searching for, raising his hand to call its attention, “that's our ride.”

Oh . Intak hadn’t even noticed the older ordering a taxi at all - he supposes that's what all the tapping he was doing was for.

Once the taxi stops right in front of them, Intak rushes to it, opening the door for Taeyang with a smile. Taeyang rolls his eyes at him, but he can’t hide the big smile on his face at the action. “What a gentleman,” he teases anyway, turning towards him one more time before getting inside - Intak brain short circuits at the proximity, barely even processing his words “or maybe just a flirt”.

Intak is convinced Taeyang is gonna kill him today.

He feels normal. Just so, incredibly normal.

[...]

It takes them a little while to get to the River Thames - Intak had to ask the older for the name of the place a couple of times until he actually indulged him with a response. The traffic in London didn’t seem to be something easy to navigate, given the constant swears from their driver each time they had to pause before a red light - both Intak and Taeyang laughed a little at his sailor mouth, learning a bunch of words they definitely were not allowed to repeat as idols.

It all felt so normal, getting in the back of a taxi with Taeyang and just going on a little adventure, just the two of them. If only he weren’t feeling a flutter of nerves building in the pit of his stomach each passing second, it would just be yet another day.

The ambiguity of the situation lingered in the air and settled on his lungs on each breath he took. It would be too awkward to ask. Taeyang would probably not even answer him in a way that clarified anything, anyway. He should just move on.

When they got to their destination, Taeyang paid the taxi driver before he even got to come back to reality, dropping his hand on Intak’s upper arm in a casual touch, with a lingering gaze that could be interpreted in so many ways, leaving Intak more bewildered than ever. What’s happening right now?

Taeyang laughs, slightly raising one of his eyebrows, “are you going to get off?”

Intak feels like a little idiot when he stays there, blinking at Taeyang trying to have his thoughts pick up the pace. Once he - geniusly, mind you - realizes the older is asking him to get out of the cab from his side, he practically jolts out of his touch, fumbling his way out of the door. “Right! Sorry - my bad.”

The older laughs at the display in front of him, making Intak’s cheeks burn up with embarrassment. He thanks the taxi driver before closing the door, standing in front of the younger. Confusingly, he makes no attempts to move, tilting his head curiously and staring at Intak. The movement makes his hair drop to the side. He had decided to not tie it up in the half-ponytail it's usually in, so he just looks - fluffy, would be the word.

“...What?” Intak dares to ask, with a puzzled chuckle.

“You’re acting so weird,” Taeyang just drops the comment with a smile.

He knows .

“How so?” He asks, anyway.

The older furrows his eyebrows, the smile still planted on his face. He doesnt grace him with a response, instead grasping Intak’s left arm with his own, guiding them towards their destination. “Relax Intaki,” he reminds him, softly. He makes it sound easy, when the casual nickname itself makes Intak feel like he’s about to explode.

“Ok,” he nearly whispers, nodding his head. He can do this. He’s Hwang Intak and he’s on a date and he’s gonna do what he does best. Which for now, translates to changing the grip of his arms into holding the older’s hand. Taeyang doesn’t turn to look at him, but Intak can see the smile brightening in his face.

Holy shit. It is a date, isn’t it?

[...]

As it was basically the group’s tradition by now, Taeyang guides them both to a pretty random souvenir store they have never really seen before. Intak was about to complain about going inside what’s probably just a tourist trap with tacky, overpriced ornaments, until he notices the store is actually filled with really beautiful hand-made objects.

The small shop nestled on the corner exuded an enchanting aura, drawing passersby with its eclectic charm. Every corner of the shop was cluttered with hundreds of handcrafted trinkets, giving the space such an atmospheric change once you entered it.

“Do you think a witch owns this business?” Taeyang jokes, letting go of his hand to go explore on his own.

“I think you’re a witch,” Intak mumbles back, completely sure that the older had heard his comment, if only because he got a signature crackle as a response from Taeyang.

The dancer decides to explore the store on his own as well, wandering eyes observing the mobiles suspended from the ceiling, crafted from delicate crystals and casting prisms of light that danced around the room. Every corner of the store emitted a scent of freshly carved wood that permeated the air, adding to the earthy and grounding ambiance. Yeah. If there’s any store for a witch to have in London, this would be it.

Intak’s eyes land on a particular display of keyrings in the middle of the store, so different from the rest of the vibes of anything else in the store he couldn't help but approach it. It was filled with acrylic - maybe resin? - decorations. The design is made in the style of old, stained glass, and when he moves the display around, he can see the different lights of the store making it sparkle a light of its own. Intak smiles when his eyes land on a specific figure, taking it out of the display to look at it closer.

“Look, it’s you,” Intak says out loud, hoping Taeyang is close enough to hear him. His eyes are glued to the keyring, a beautiful stained glass design of a sun, vibrant in its color but slightly translucent, so the light can pass through it and project its beautiful pattern on the floor. If Taeyang doesn’t buy this, he might.

The older was close enough to hear him in the small store, but he takes a couple of steps in his direction, trying to examine what is that has got all of the younger’s attention. He chuckles when he notices the predictable image of a sun in his hands, “original.” He jabs.

“Hey, at least it's cute,” Intak pouts, raising it closer to the older in hopes he grabs it. Taeyang does, looking at it more closely, his face betrays nothing about how he might feel about it, “you don't like it?”

“I do, it’s pretty,” he nods, but his thoughts seem to be elsewhere, “we should get something matching.”

“Oh,” Intak forces down a blush, raking his eyes over the display, looking for something that could fit the matching criteria, while also making sense to… well, them . “Um - there’s a moon in the exact same style, I think they were made as a pair.”

“Nah,” Taeyang shakes his head, silky locks moving like water with the notion, “you’re no moon.”

Intak frowns, searching for the next alternative - the older isn’t really helping him find anything, so he tries asking instead, “what am I, then?”

“A puppy.”

“Original,” Intak scoffs, mirroring the other’s previous reaction - he should have guessed. “I don’t think puppies and suns are the match you’re searching for - besides, all of these are galaxy themed.”

“Hm…” Taeyang hums, actually looking at the display for the first time, considering their options, it doesn’t take a lot of looking for him to land on something he seems to like, “then we should get this.”

Intak looks at the keyring Taeyang has chosen for him, hanging it next to the sun keyring in the same finger. It’s the design of a star, the details of it pretty similar to the drawing of the sun, but overall with slightly less orange tint in its yellows. It also has sparkles surrounding the main star, which have a little glittery effect to them. It’s actually kinda cool, but Intak still has to ask, “a star?”

“Yeah,” Taeyang replies, softly, looking at both of the keyrings hanging together, the shine they emit when the projected light of one hits the other is just mesmerizing. The older continues, in a slight whisper, “you’re a star.”

And maybe it’s the odd atmosphere of the store. Or the way the beautiful ornaments make him feel when the light hits them. Or the soft, fond tone in Taeyang’s voice when he calls him a star. Hell, it might even be the store owner - who is definitely a witch - putting a weird spell on him. But it all makes Intak feel… so oddly sentimental. “...So are you,” he manages to get out.

“That’s what suns are,” Taeyang reminds him, his soft tone not wavering. He shakes his finger a little and the keychains crinkle against each other. “Should we get them?”

Intak only nods, a little dazzled at the interaction, “they’re perfect”.

Taeyang hums, with a smile on his face that fits whatever atmosphere that has been created round them. Most of his bangs fall in front of his eyes. Intak wants to brush them away, but he can’t. 

Even if Taeyang is right there, just a small reach away - and even if his fingers tingle with the want, and even if he knows Taeyang would let him . 

Intak takes a step back, instead. “Let’s go pay for them, then.”

Taeyang keeps smiling like he knows something - but he can’t, as much as he likes pretending like he’s inside Intak’s brain. “Let’s go pay for them,” he repeats, and brushes his bangs behind his ears himself.

“For the record,” Taeyang comments once they’re out of the store, each of their eyes preoccupied on clipping their newly-bought keyrings at the top of their phone cases. “I think puppies and suns are a great match.”

It takes the dancer a second for the words to reach his brain, but once they do, the warmth of his cheeks settle on his face as a very unwelcomed guest to contrast the cold streets of London. He doesn’t really have time to question his words, because when he looks back at Taeyang, he’s already taken off towards the London Eye without much of a word.

Intak follows him a couple of steps behind, feeling his heartbeat in his ears.

[...]

The younger makes a huge effort to not comment on how ridiculous the price to get inside of the attraction is - because he’s already been yelled out once about it today, and ruining the mood of their little date-not-date isn’t really part of his plans. He can also notice Taeyang surprising a laugh at his side when the young lady at the counter tells them the price and it makes his breath hitch a little.

“You act like you’re broke sometimes,” Taeyang allows himself to laugh once they’re at the queue to get inside, both of their tickets in his hand.

“It’s not about that,” he mumbles with pursed lips, putting his wallet back in the pocket of his jacket, “I just think attractions should be worth your money.”

He can see the mischievous glint on the older’s eyes before he even gets to tease him, grabbing his left arm with both hands and shuffling closer, “I’m not worth your money, jagi?”

He’s messing with him. And he knows he’s messing with him. Because he tilts his head and makes a very exaggerated sad face - and calls him jagi , out of all things - he knows Taeyang is joking, acting like a stereotypical couple they would see anywhere near the streets of Korea.

And yet, being fully aware of this, he still blushes furiously, unable to not deflate a little on the spot with an embarrassed laugh. “Hyung -”

Taeyang keeps up the act, arms still glued to hold Intaks own - and yet so very clearly holding in a mocking laugh. “This is the part where you joke back Intaki”, he whispers, as if giving a cue to an actor who fumbled his lines in a play.

He wants to describe the sound he makes next as a shy chuckle, Taeyang’s self control really shining through when he doesn't laugh at him for having to close his eyes and take in a deep breath to collect himself. He’s good at flirting, you can ask absolutely anyone he’s ever made a move on - Intak was made for this! Then Intak opens his eyes to his crush right there hugging his arm and literally waiting for a move - and suddenly he’s not so sure he was ever good at this at all.

Taeyang spares him a couple of moments more to let Intak compose himself and keep up with the joke, but when the younger can only respond with a flustered - “you - you are.” He can’t help the mocking chuckle that escapes him. He pulls his face away - thank god - but the grip on his arm remains with one of his. Taeyang pats his shoulder with his free hand, which still holds the too-expensive tickets between his digits.

The consolation pats get accompanied by a small, “you tried”. Which makes Intak feel like an idiot.

So much for being normal.

[...]

The inside of the capsules of the London Eye are way bigger than what he expects. The circular space was surprisingly roomy, with a futuristic touch, floor-to-ceiling windows providing a 360-degree view and making it feel like they were suspended in the air, even if they were yet to be lifted.

“Afraid of heights?” Taeyang asks, poking his arm as he walks past him, free roaming through the capsule. There wasn’t much to see, just an oval room filled with windows, so his curious stroll doesn’t get him too far.

“You know I’m not,” he tries to bite back, but it comes out as a timid response instead. The air inside was perfectly regulated, allowing them to forget the chill of the London weather outside. And yet, Intak felt so suffocated by it all.

Taeyang can’t help but notice - because of course - sympathetic hesitance making its way into his own body language. He picks a rail to rest his elbows on, near one of the outer windows, and waits for Intak to join him.

They didn’t pick a private capsule - both agreeing that the price of it was far too much and probably didn’t make the experience any different. Intak took the steps he needed to stand right next to Taeyang, noticing that only around seven more people entered their capsule before the door closed and it began its slow ascent.

They both stare out of the windows, side to side, simply admiring the view until the capsule stops moving, likely to let the people entering the next capsule inside. “I think we paid for a ferris wheel to look at a clock”, Intak jokes, trying to fill in the silence with anything. The capsule is full with conversations from all the other passengers, and yet the silence still clogs at his ears and makes him jittery.

"You've been so weird all day," Taeyang admits, the sentence coming out as barely a hum. Like it was waiting to be let out before he could say anything else, stuck at the tip of his tongue. Despite his words, the older doesn’t look upset, tooting his lips at him when Intak doesn’t respond, too busy trying to figure him out.

"Sorry," Intak tries to not make it awkward by letting his own response come out with a laugh, but it just comes across as a breathy word, like it’s been punched out of him. Taeyang’s toot turns into a slight pout.

"That’s me asking why, Takki," he tilts his head, head fully facing him now. The view they paid for completely forgotten in the background of their conversation. “What’s up with you?”

Intak grabs the railing with his right hand, tapping on the metal of it with his nails. It grounds him, somewhat. Makes him feel that, if he lets go, he might fall off. Get swallowed by the earth, like he wishes he would be.. He hesitates for a couple of seconds, but he’s brave enough to not look away. Even if he feels his heart slightly pound faster in his chest before he asks - "It’s just… you were joking, right? This is not… not actually a date. " The word itself comes out unsure, as almost a whisper, because it’s not really a secret - he doesn’t view it as such - but whatever this is… feels like it’s only for their own ears.

Taeyang blinks at him, but the lack of expression in his face betrays absolutely nothing about how he might feel about the sudden question. Intak feels his heart rate rise a little more. "Do you want it to be?"

"That doesn't answer my question, hyung," trying to keep their eyes locked feels more like a staring contest than honest eye contact, the embarrassment of the conversation begging him to turn his head to the view in front of them. The capsule starts moving again, but he has been feeling that movement rush at the bottom of his stomach since way before they even stepped inside the London Eye.

"Ok, well," Taeyang shrugs, brushing away his bangs, even though they don't seem to be bothering his eyes, "so what if it is?" He’s nervous.

"Nothing!" But so is Intak. "I just didn't think you would want to - I didn't know it was like that." Intak feels silly saying it out loud - none of his words coming out the way he hoped they would. He feels like a little boy confessing to his crush on the playground. 

Taeyang glares at him, "Intak, I have been flirting with you for two years."

And that actually catches him off-guard, because he sputters and scoffs a couple of times, looking around them like the raising of his voice would alert everyone nearby. They don’t care. This conversation is only theirs. " You have ?!" He tries not to shout with a disbelieving tone.

"You've been flirting back!" Taeyang argues, but despite his words, his voice is not accusatory. In fact, he sounds like he kinda wants to laugh. Probably at Intak.

"I - hold on, wait -" Intak can’t stop the nervous laugh that escapes him. He rubs the back of his neck, needing to look away from Taeyang’s eyes for a second to collect his thoughts. He’s definitely not imagining that the room got much hotter right now. When he looks back at Taeyang, he notices he’s biting his cheeks with the effort to not laugh. "You like me back?" Taeyang nods. "You've liked me back this whole time?"

"Oh my god," Taeyang presses his hands to his face with a silent laugh, hands slipping down to only cover his mouth. "Intak-ah"

" Wha t?!" The youngest replies defensively, not meaning to whine. It’s hard to not laugh with Taeyang, even as the other is trying so hard to suppress it. "You just dropped a whole bomb on me! You expect me to not be confused?"

Taeyang drops his hands, chuckling softly. "You're ridiculous," and his gaze and voice are suddenly so affectionate. Intak can't help but panic, looking away through the ignored window in front of them. "Were you ever planning on telling me?" 

The attraction stops again before they get to reach the very top. Intak feels his heart stop with it.

"T - telling you what?" He picks at the skin of his nails, hands glued to the metal rail. It feels like it should be a metaphor, holding to the rail to feel a sense of security. It doesn’t seem to slow his agitated heart at all.

"You just said you like me," the fidgeting of his hands takes a pause, he feels his breathing might have, too. "You asked if I ‘ liked you back ’" Taeyang clarifies at the lack of a response. Intak understood what he meant without the need to explain, but it doesn’t make him unfreeze from his spot any faster. Should he have stayed in the hotel room? Why does this attraction take so long ?

" Oh... " It’s all Intak can say. Because really, how can you react to being told you just confessed to your crush in such a lame way? The same crush that just admitted to liking him, too. Covering his face with both hands and bending until his elbows rest on the rail seems like an adequate reaction. "Oh my god ."

It’s like the dam holding Taeyang’s laughter inside of him suddenly breaks and spills over the room, doubling over in a laugh attack that goes on for much longer than Intak expected. He lets out some chuckles of his own just from how contagious it is, but he can feel his entire face heating up to the top of his ears. "You are," Taeyang tries to get a hold of his breath to speak, laughter slipping out of him - Intak presses his hands to his face a little harder in hopes it makes his blush disappear - “the flirt of the group.”

“Please stop talking,” his message is muffled. The capsule moves once again.

"You can't even look at me," it’s a challenge - at least, it’s presented that way despite the laugher. Intak knows Taeyang better than anyone, and he prides himself of having opened up to him well enough that Taeyang feels he knows him just as well. He knows what kind of food he likes to eat depending on the weather or activities they do that day. He knows when Intak is upset in the way he wants to talk about it - and when it’s in the way he wants to be left alone. He knows his taste in people, the achievements he has accomplished and the ones that are still out of his reach. But most importantly.

He knows what buttons to push.

Intak sighs into his hands, upset at himself by how easy he is. He lifts up his head just enough for the weight of it to be caught by his hands, refusing to stand up straight just yet - it gives him a false sense of security to be down here - if that makes any sense. "I can look at you just fine."

Taeyang’s teasing voice is apparent when he then asks - “what do you see?”

The dancer rolls his eyes, looking at the window instead. Now that they’re at the highest spot the London Eye can go, he almost groans when he notices. “That stupid, oversized clock.”

Despite it not being the answer Taeyang wanted to hear, he still indulges him with a laugh, pointing his own attention at the view. They are at the top now. Intak has never felt so lost in his life. He thinks he’s being spared for changing the conversation topic until he hears a familiar chuckle, accompanied by a - “that was lame.”

"This is the worst date of my life." 

"I think this is the first date of your life, actually." There's no arguing with that. Not that Taeyang has had any experience of his own… he thinks . He doesn’t feel brave enough to joke about it and find out. He had enough revelations for today.

Intak sighs, feeling like his heart was not going to stop trying to beat its way out of his chest anytime soon. "So now what?" They start moving again. A slow descent towards the ground. It’s not scary - but there’s no excitement either. It fits well with the uncertainty in his gut.

"Hm?" Taeyang only hums, way too nonchalant for this conversation. Intak can only beg him with his eyes to please, please not make him say it out loud. "What, you want a kiss?" Actually - that’s much worse.

The comments makes Intak uncurl from the rail, throwing his head back in an over dramatic eye roll that has that characteristic crackle leave Taeyang’s lips. His hands remain on the rail for support as he leans back, eyes closed. Annoyance is a hell of a method to mask being flustered - he’s realized. "Nevermind, I hate you actually," Intak doesn't get to see his hyung’s face also flushing at his own teasing.

Taeyang sighs - "now nothing." He plays with the sleeve of Intak’s jacket, grabbing the fabric and shaking it back and forth for a while. It’s a thing Intak has gotten used to. Whenever Taeyang was sitting near him, one of their hands usually found their way into touching each other - Intak was no stranger to throwing a hand over the other’s shoulder or intertwining their arms as often as he could - but Taeyang did it the most. Whether it was hugging him from the back, resting his chin on his shoulder or - as it was most common, this . Grabbing and pinching whatever part of Intak’s arm as far as he could reach. Intak often described it as having an overgrown cat making biscuits with his arm. Taeyang would usually laugh at the comparison. But none of them are laughing right now. "It would not be a good idea."

"...What?" Intak forces himself to finally stand up straight, but Taeyang's eyes stay glued to his sleeve, as he grabs at the fabric and twirls it in his finger. Over and over. 

There was very little about Taeyang that didn’t confuse the hell out of him - talking to him often felt like a riddle, a puzzle that he only managed to get half right and made him stare at his ceiling at night, hoping he could find the rest of the pieces if he thought about it for long enough. And at the same time, Taeyang was so simple. All of his actions, all of his jokes - they are thing’s Intak could predict if he were to imagine how a conversation with the older would go.

 And how can it be true that he can understand someone so well but still be so, so clueless as well? 

The capsule continues to go down. 

"This conversation - it can't lead to anything good, can it?" Taeyang taps on his hand, but Intak is still grabbing onto the metal like he needs it to survive. He’s unsure if the tapping means anything. If he should let his hand relax and turn it the other way, present his palm to Taeyang in hopes that he would grab it. Something about the thought makes him oddly sad, but it could just be Taeyang’s words.

"So you're confessing to me and rejecting me at the same time?" Intak lifts his eyes from the very frail contact of their hands to finally - finally - look at Taeyang’s face. He doesn’t feel like his heart is quite ready for it yet, but he desperately needs to cling into any sign. Anything that could let him know where this conversation is going. He thinks he’s getting rejected, but then again, Taeyang is always rejecting him. It’s like when he tells him to go away but his hands are glued to Intak’s arm around his shoulder, grabbing onto it a little harder if Intak pretends to actually leave. 

"You’re the one that confessed to me," Taeyang notes, his tone calm and knowingly. Like it was a fact he was somehow aware it was going to happen a long time before it actually did. Intak wonders what he knows that makes him feel so clueless by comparison. If he knows more than he lets show, or if he just enjoys making Intak feel lost.

"You’re the one that asked me out on a date!" It feels pointless to argue back - maybe even a little childish. He wonders if stomping his feet and throwing a tantrum would get him what he wants. He doesn’t think Taeyang would enable him.

"To which you said yes." And he doesn’t. But Intak knew that.

"Ugh!" Intak throws his head back again, Taeyang’s hand shifts from playing with his sleeve to lightly pinching at his forearm. It doesn’t hurt at all. He would still let him, if it did.

Taeyang smiles, but it's tinted with sadness, "you're looking at me."

"And you - you're not making any sense." Intak has to remind him of this fact every so often. About how speaking to Taeyang will sometimes feel like a riddle he never gets to solve. 

Being near Taeyang feels like always being out in the sun thinking your skin will be able to take it, and then dealing with the sunburnt patches of your skin. But he loves the sun. It’s warm and cozy and it’s always ready to cuddle up to him, even when it doesn’t even notice itself doing so. It makes fun of him in every other interaction like it is it’s only way of showing it’s thinking about him - like saying so out loud is too hard and laughing is so, so easy. 

"I don't want this to go wrong," the sun itself speaks, but there is no warmth coming from his words. Intak must have looked a little taken aback by them, because Taeyang clarifies like he was interrupted - "and it will - Intak." Taeyang takes a really deep breath, resting his fidgeting hands on Intak's forearm. The capsule stops. It can’t take much longer. “To date knowing it's going to end up in heartbreak - I don't see the point."

Intak doesn’t know what to respond to that. He doesn’t know how to unpack all of it - doesn’t think he would be given the time to lay all of the pieces on his table, stare at them until he can see a resemblance of an image in his mind. "I thought you liked me."

"I do - just," the pinching on the fabric of his sleeve resumes, his hand trailing up to his upper arm. "I don't wanna go through that," Taeyang is looking at him in the eyes, honest and earnest and so terrifyingly affectionate in such a sad way. Intak doesn’t know how to manage to look back, knowing the sun will be able to just blind him. It doesn’t desire to do so on its own. Maybe the sun wants to find someone that can look at it without flinching away in pain.

"So you rather just not try?" Taeyang shrugs. "That's a somber way to look at love."

The word love leaves his lips before he can manage to stop them, but Taeyang doesn’t seem to be startled by it. He only shrugs once again. And they fall into silence. 

Like it was rehearsed - like they could have possibly planned any of this - both of them look out of the window just in time for the capsule to start moving again. Maybe they both got the timing of it by now, the years and years of dance practices, the counting of steps, the mastering of when to start and stop and take a step and wait - integrated in their brain in such a way where they can connect it to their daily lives. Or maybe the London Eye is just predictable. More predictable than they could ever be. “Is it too late for you to throw me off the capsule?”

“We’re not at the top anymore,” Taeyang mumbles in response, like that’s the only thing stopping him from fulfilling his threat from earlier. If Intak didn’t feel so saddened by it all, he might have smiled to himself.

“Missed opportunity right there,” he comments back, instead. Oddly bitter. “Just another one.”

"...You shouldn’t be so disappointed about it," the older’s eyes are on him again. Intak returns his gaze, but doesn’t turn his head all the way towards him. Doesn’t think he can. “I’m a terrible person to date.”

"No, you're an idiot," Intak pushes at Taeyang with the arm he’s been playing with the entire time. The strength he uses is not nearly enough to make the other stumble backwards, but he still grabs onto him right after. Just in case. He drops the hand grabbing him just as fast, like it never happened at all. "If you want to date me just date me."

" You want to date me. ” Intak does. So, so bad it's actually aching on his chest. But he can't say that, because he feels like admitting it to Taeyang himself might make him burst into flames. Such a poor competition, to put the sun right next to just a star. 

"...Is that it, then?" 

The truth was, the thought of sharing his innermost self with another person petrified Taeyang, as if opening up would expose the fragile core of his very being. The notion of being seen in all his imperfections, thoughts, and fears left him absolutely terrified.

He often found himself caught in a daydream of idealized romance, yet he didn't often indulge in these thoughts long enough until the anxiety of it all interrupted his thoughts. Taeyang questioned his worthiness of such grand love, fearing that his own inadequacies would tarnish the pure, transcendent love he's always envisioned. The prospect of disappointment and heartbreak haunted him, acting as a formidable barrier against taking the plunge into the uncertain waters of a relationship. To be loved and left - he could not think of anything more terrifying than that.

The fear of losing himself in the whirlwind of emotions and the uncertainty of another person's feelings paralyzed Taeyang, leaving him to wonder if he could find a middle ground that wouldn't compromise his sense of self.

But he can't say that out loud. Not to Intak. Because isn't opening up in such a raw way with someone he likes exactly the core of his very fears?

So, instead, what he says is - "well no... our date's not over yet."

The capsule descends one last time before they’re finally let free.

[...]

Getting off their capsule and into the cold streets of London feels like a harsh reality check. Like the most literal depiction of stepping outside of their little bubble. To Intak, it suddenly starts feeling like there is a huge timer on top of his head, slowly counting down to the end of… well he did confirm it was a date. The end of their date.

“So what now?” He asks once they had stopped walking out of what must have been the longest thirty minutes of his life.

Taeyang picks up his phone to take a glance at the time. Intak curiously bends towards him to check for the time himself - it helps make the countdown looming over him more accurate - eyes end up landing on the sun keychain hanging from his case instead. Something about it just makes his heartstrings tug inside his chest. There might be a chance this day will be forgotten in time, just one more memory to add up to their travel stories. That time they traveled around London, just the two of them. They bought matching keychains, got on the London Eye, and… nothing else to note.

Intak pulls out his phone to fidget with his own keychain.

“I’m hungry,” Taeyang comments while putting his phone back in his pocket, which is not really a response to his question, then adds “but, it’s too early for dinner yet.”

“Let’s just grab a snack somewhere,” Intak offers, his voice soft and distracted. His head is still somewhere in that capsule they just stepped out of. Or maybe in that haunted shop. It might have never even left the hotel room. He unlocks the phone in his hand to search.

“Like an ice cream?”

“Yeah… what?! No!” The dancer gets brought right back to the present by the suggestion, giving Taeyang a baffled expression. The latter only gives him a blank look, so he turns back to his task at hand. “It’s the middle of January, be normal.”

“What’s weird about ice creams?” Intak makes it a point to ignore him, scrolling through his options.

“Ah, seriously -” He sighs, feigning annoyance. He can feel a hand snake its way into holding his arm, resting on the crook of his elbows. “There’s a waffle place right there - ok! ” Before Intak can get to finishing his suggestion, Taeyang is already walking in that direction, pulling Intak’s arm along like it was just part of his own hand.

Waffles it is, then.

[...]

Despite Taeyang clearly deciding to take the lead on where they are heading, Intak is the one with the map on his hand, giving directions even though to the unexpecting eye, he’s getting dragged somewhere.

The older lets go of his grip once they reach the front of the waffle store, just as Intak suspected he would. It was another thing with Taeyang.

He had a good track record of being the first one to initiate that kind of touch - not that Intak didn’t love holding hands himself, it really wasn’t that. It’s just that Taeyang was just as likely to be the first one to let go, or reject him, as well. You could only ever hold hands with Taeyang if he wanted you to. So much like a cat it was hard not to compare.

This doesn’t stop Intak from trying each time anyway. Even if Taeyang had let go of his grip, his arms remain on a lazy intertwine with his own as he looks at the sample sweets on the display window in front of the store. Intak tries to redirect their locked arms to hold hands, instead. Taeyang notices, softly scoffing out a laugh while the dancer pretends to be looking around at the display as well.

The older lets him, only for a couple of seconds before shaking him off, predictably, and going into the store. Intak pouts to himself, but follows right behind.

“Aren’t they too big?” Is the first thing Intak says - aware this gives away the fact he was not paying attention to the samples in the window display at all. If Taeyang notices, he doesn’t call him out on it, focused on his own thoughts.

“There’s options with ice cream,” he comments with a smile, less like he’s actually considering it, and more like he’s expecting to get a reaction out of it. 

“No - Taeng,” Intak scoffs out a laugh. Silly .

“They’re definitely too big,” he nods, eyes glued to the clear glass counter that exhibits all the options for toppings on your way-too-big waffle. “Let’s just get one, we’ll share.”

“Um - yeah,” they’re no strangers to sharing food, more often than not, when they were trying a type of food they’ve never had before, they had set up a system of both picking something different and just sharing it with each other. They were not… used to just sharing one thing for the both of them. But that was not weird. This was a date. Very date-like thing to do. He’s not feeling a blush creep up his neck. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“So, what do you want?”

“Ah, so that matters now?” Intak emphasizes his jab by trying to hold Taeyang’s hand again. Predictably, he lets him for just about a second, looking back and forth between the action and his face before he shakes him off again.

“On the waffle. I don’t care about that.”

“Ouch,” he pouts at Taeyang, but he’s only just joking - he’s been told worse. Just today, by the same person. He glances at the menu board situated near the ceiling, where there is a barista waiting for them at the counter. “The… chocofruit one, sounds good.”

“Hm…” Taeyang looks for the one he mentioned, slightly nodding at the choice, “what fruits?”

“You can pick them.”

“Strawberry and banana,” Taeyang answers fast, like he was hoping he would say that. “And the topping…”

“Caramel?”

Taeyang stops, face blank but eyes blinking repeatedly - like he’s baffled at the just the mention of it. He turns to Intak, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape - “you are insane if you think I’m letting you put caramel in our waffle.”

Intak can’t help but laugh at the sudden passion for his hatred of caramel, the kind of laugh that has him clapping his hands and doing a little full spin mid-laugh attack. Taeyang only stands and stares at him through his laughter, an offended look on his face you would have a hard time convincing Intak it was about caramel , out of all things. When he calms down, he gives Taeyang a shocked look, smile still on his face. “Woah! What did caramel ever do to you?”

“Killed my parents,” his answer is dismissive and blunt, like he means it, but he smiles at Intak right after finishing his sentence.

“Ok, so chocolate then.”

“That’s right.”

[...]

The first time Intak had realized he had feelings for Taeyang was around the time they were preparing for their second comeback. In between practices and preparation, the older - who had recently gone from pretty pastel pink hair to a warm blond with colorful highlights - had become more prone to spending the practice breaks with Intak. Whether he had realized or not, Intak found himself with the blond often laying his head on his shoulder, joking around with him more, sharing stories from before they met, and worries that the youngest had previously never had the privilege to hear. He doesn’t know when the atmosphere changed. He only noticed once he was too far in. When he was catching himself being the one that actively searched for this kind of attention.

Intak noticed himself suddenly always aware of what Taeyang was doing when he was in the room. He instinctively got a little nervous at their interactions, while also feeling the most comfortable around the older. He noticed how Taeyang acted around him and, subconsciously, started comparing their own moments with how the older acted with the rest of the members.

He was deeply embarrassed when he caught himself acting this way. It’s not like he was a stranger to the feeling of having a crush - he’s had crushes before. Short-lived infatuations in middle-school and high school with girls in his classes that never really got anywhere. But they never felt this way before.

No one has ever made him feel this nervous before.

If he were to tell Taeyang - how the passage of time never helped him feel any less jittery around the other, how the anticipation made something itch under his skin, always feeling like he’s containing himself. Like he wants nothing more than to hide away and be seen at the same time. He doesn’t think he would be spared from the laughter. The ‘Ah, seriously…’s and the ‘Aren’t you being too romantic?’s. The deflection from this kind of talk, it would be inevitable.

Taeyang had realized it around the same time as he did. The shift, the nervousness and hesitation from the younger. It matched his own. Taeyang was nothing if not perceptive, and he was incredibly experienced at hiding his own feelings from the world.

So, he knew. About Intak’s feelings and his own. He had probably known before Intak had even put a word to them. He just didn’t say a thing.

The waffle was fine. 

It was given to them in a cardboard cone that helped it keep its shape and not fall apart in their hands, with an extra cup underneath for security. With it, they were given some sort of tiny, plastic forks that proved to be too small and flimsy to really do anything and were immediately discarded in the first litter bin they encountered in their walk. Which was another thing -

They had started mindlessly walking around the streets near the river as they shared their little sweet, not really heading anywhere in particular, since they had found the store they had bought the waffle from to be too filled with noise and people waiting for their turn to get one of their own. They must have accidentally encountered quite a popular place for tourists. Taeyang takes the first bite despite Intak being the one holding the cup. His silky hair falls from where it's tucked behind his ears at the movement, threatening to get stained with the chocolate topping on the sweet. Intak skin itches with the thought of being the one to tuck it back in place. He squeezes his first to his side instead. He shouldn't.

Taeyang doesn’t say much about his feelings on the waffle when he pulls back, only covering his mouth and slightly nodding in agreement. They keep walking. He wants to ask if it's good. If he likes it. If he should try it too. But he doesn’t. 

Instead, he says, “when did it change for you?” It burns in his chest, the question itself. He’s not sure if he was the one who let out the question or if it simply escaped him. It makes them both stop walking, looking at each other as they try to process. He’s sure he looks almost as taken aback as Taeyang does by the suddenness of it, even when he clarifies. “Like - when did you go from ‘I’m flirting with Intak as a joke’ to ‘I’m actually trying to flirt with Intak’?”

Once the original shock subsides, Taeyang lightly smiles, masking whatever was behind it with a teasing tilt of his head, “wouldn’t you like to know.” And tries to keep walking.

“I would,” Intak takes a couple of steps ahead, putting himself in Taeyang’s way to stop him.  “Please - it’s going to eat me up inside.”

“...Ok, sure,” Taeyang shrugs, stealing one of the strawberries from the waffle, as if it was the tax for answering his questions. “Midway through the USA tour, the first one,” he nods, chewing for a second to let the dancer process his words. Then points at his chest, “ you started flirting with me much more, and I guess at one point I started meaning everything I said.” Just like that, he starts walking again. Intak follows right next to him.

“Wait…” The older looks at him with raised eyebrows. Intak feels himself pouting, confused. “I only started doing that because Keeho said - you told him you have a crush on me.”

“And you believed him?”

“I didn’t think he was serious - it’s not like you were gonna tell me yourself.”

Taeyang hums, looking off to the side before stopping in his tracks. Before Intak gets to take another step, he feels a hand grab at his arm, but he doesn’t pull at him. It’s gentle. Gentle enough to not make him stumble when he turns back to the older. They had walked their way into the very middle of the bridge, the air is getting slightly colder and the streets are quieter. The view of the sun being set is a little too perfect from where they’re standing, it feels planned. Something about the sun getting away before his eyes.

The oldest points at the waffle in Intak’s hands, as a silent invitation for him to try it, too. The dancer looks at it for a second. He doesn’t really want it, but he takes a bite out of it anyway. “He wasn’t lying,” Intak snaps his head back up, cheeks puffed out from his mouth being full. He gives Taeyang an incredulous look with his eyes. “I did say that.”

“...You’re not serious,” Intak answers, slowly, muffled by his chewing. He doesn’t like the waffle. Probably would have been better with caramel.

“I am,” Taeyang replies, casually. He only laughs a little at Intak’s shocked chewing as he continues. “He asked me if I had a crush on you - since we started spending so much time together - and I said yes… I wasn’t expecting him to go around telling everyone, but it was also really easy to convince Keeho he was making that up… And you, apparently.”

“Oh my god,” he gets enough time to swallow his bite through Taeyang’s little confession, shoving the cone in his hands. He doesn’t want it, he can have it. “You gaslit your way out of admitting your feelings to me.”

“I guess,” Taeyang shrugs, accepting the waffle is now his and biting into it again.

“You made this so difficult on purpose,” the older only laughs, a soft exhale through his nose and a nod. “You’re a psycho.”

“You’re the one on a date with a psycho,” he looks at the cone in his hand. There’s only a small bite of it left, he offers it to Intak, but he shakes his head no. Taeyang finishes it.

"Well, my date doesn't want to date me , so," Intak squints at him, the older only rolls his eyes, taking a few steps to throw the cone in the nearest bin, coming back with a teasing smile that makes Intak instinctively brace himself.

" My date would jump into the river in embarrassment if I asked to kiss him."

Intak is sure Taeyang expects him to blush furiously and stumble his way into a response. To look away, embarrassed. Redirect his attention into the sunset next to them and change the topic to avoid him. But he doesn’t. Intak stares at him, mind going fully blank as he asks.

"...You want me to kiss you?”

It feels like the clock counting down on the top of his head towards the end of their date fully stops. Time itself does. He’s sure it’s not only his imagination, that Taeyang can feel it too. A standstill. A tone shift that makes both of their ears buzz in a way that might even worry Intak. Anticipation. The sun touching his skin one last time before it sets.

Taeyang turns to him fully, but he only nods. Being the one that pretends to not be shy about all of this can only get him so far - they seemed to have found the limit. His eyes are a little glossy, shining with a light of their own. Whatever this is - wherever its heading - makes him so… excited. He almost wants to giggle.

"I don’t go around just kissing random people tho," he smiles, tilting his head to the side. Just like Taeyang would.

“Don’t you?” Intak notices with a fondness that spreads from his chest to every corner of his body that, despite both of them being the same height, Taeyang’s habit of slouching when he’s around Intak makes the younger have to look down at him. It’s incredibly endearing. He absolutely wants to kiss him.

“Nuh-uh, I only kiss my lovers,” despite being a direct contradiction to his own thoughts, Intak continues to tease. Hoping, waiting, wishing it gets him somewhere. Taeyang might pretend to have an iron will, but the youngest knows he’s not the only one prone to take the bait. The sun burns much brighter and warmer than any star, but it burns nonetheless. "What are we gonna do about that?"

Taeyang chuckles, feeling like his heart is melting inside his ribcage. His smile is fond, holding the type of affection in his eyes that Intak has only been lucky enough to see so many times. "You could ask."

"Would you say yes?"

"To what," Intak loves this - it’s one of the things he loves the most about being around Taeyang so often. The back and forth of their conversations, the teasing and joking and laughing and starting right over. Even if Intak didn’t like Taeyang in this way - the way that makes him feel giddy and nervous and excited - he still knows that talking to the older is like having one of those laugh attacks with the person that understands you the most. Like laughing so hard and for so long with someone until you don't really remember why you were laughing in the first place. The happiness he feels around Taeyang, he could never describe in a way that would make any sense to anyone that wasn’t them. It’s so easy to love him.

And yet he feels light headed with the effort it takes him to say: "Being mine".

Taeyang's laugh sounds like it was practically knocked out of him. "Being yours, huh?" London's cold winter air is not enough to make him stop feeling like he's burning from the inside out. Taeyang is not helping, but his facade of trying to seem braver than Intak had slipped out of his grasp a long time ago. Despite seeming like he was being laughed at, Intak doesn’t feel like the fool in this conversation at all. They both are. They’re both just as stupid and foolish and embarrassed as one another. The oldest’s voice softens at his next question, nervous and timid, albeit still teasing in nature. So much like him that it hits Intak like a bag of stones just how much he loves him. "What does that entail?"

"Well…” Intak takes the chance, reaching out to grab both of Taeyang’s hands, hoping they are not slapped away. And like the universe hears his prayers, the older grabs his hands right back. It’s like an energy burst, urging him to just say what’s on his mind. “Nothing really has to change, it doesn't have to be this big leap into the unknown where you just tell me all of your secrets - we can just be us, but dating. You and I… we already make such a good team together. If I believe in soulmates being real in this universe, it’s because of you, Taeng.” The honesty of his words makes a wave of warmth travel through every inch of - what he assumes - are a couple of very red cheeks. Taeyang doesn’t seem to be in a much better condition himself, but he’s known to hide it so much better. He had been hiding it from Intak this whole time. There’s no hiding what he already knows is there, despite how hard he might try. Intak just finds he has to be a little more convincing. “Of course, I definitely kiss those who are mine… And I give great cuddles, by the way."

Intak finishes his little rant-confession by swinging their intertwined hands from side to side, with an embarrassed smile on his face that he’s trying so hard to also shake away. Taeyang laughs, softly and fondly, adding more weight to Intak’s inhibition. "Sounds nice," he replies, affectionate and kind and so much like and alike Taeyang.

"Will you?" Intak hates just how hopeful he sounds. But he is hopeful. Hoping, hoping, hoping .

Taeyang sighs, he feels like all the insecurities he tries so well to hide are simply being pulled to the very front of his chest, completely displayed in front of Intak - that vulnerability, it almost feels unbearable to experience. Love is excruciating. And Taeyang wants it so much . He would watch every romantic comedy that was put in front of him in a heartbeat, wondering how it felt like - to have that someone who considers you his everything, that all consuming love that makes you do stupid things, that makes you open up to someone fully, makes you aware the person you love knows everything about you. But to fall for it all, and then fall apart. For someone who knows you inside and out to treat you as a stranger when you let go - or worse - to hate you even though no one else has been so close to you before - it terrified Taeyangs to his core.

“How are you so sure it’s not going to go wrong?”

Intak shrugs, the cutest, most excited smile on his face. “Why can it not go right?”

It was like fearing fire but finding it so beautiful and fascinating at the same time. Taeyang might as well be putting his hands directly on the flame if he says yes.  

But staring back into Intak's hopeful yet flustered expression... he wants nothing more than to believe he's fireproof. That it could just work for no other reason than because it’s them and they work .

“Ok…” he squeezes the hands intertwined with his own, grateful for the close proximity. He doesn’t think he could speak any louder than he is, “you can kiss me.”

“You didn’t say yes to being mine,” Intak pouts, the smile on his face barely allowing him to do so without breaking into a grin. Taeyang adores him.

“I just did,” Taeyang clarifies, lightly nodding his head as if the younger needs any further reassurance. He feels a wave of impatient anticipation when he squeezes his hands again. “Kiss me.”

“Gladly.”

And just like that, under the last remains of the soft glow of the evening sun - like a veil of warmth enveloping them both - Intak lets go of one of their intertwined hands, his fingers grazing Taeyang's cheek with a feather-light touch. Taeyang feels himself unconsciously holding his breath at the contact, his eyes flickering with uncertainty and a hint of anticipation.

Their lips meet in a hesitant collision, like the shy dance of two stars in the vast expanse of the night sky. The taste of inexperience lingered on their lips, a sweetness that was both endearing and genuine, their lips fumbling against each other in a clumsy first attempt. He can feel Taeyang smiling against him, both hands reaching out towards Intak, grabbing the cloth of his shirt, just in front of his waist. His own hands cup both of the older’s cheeks, and suddenly everything seems to just click together. 

Intak feels a warmth spread through him and settle at his very core, like the gentle caress of the sun's rays on a chilly morning, kissing Taeyang was everything he had hoped it would be. A fumbling of uncertainty that mirrored the awkward grace of stars learning to align. His lips are soft and sweet, like they need to make up to all the sourness from today. They almost make Intak forget he ever wanted them to taste like caramel. Intak lets his hands drop towards Taeyang’s neck with a happy sigh.

Like clockwork, like Intak knew it would be the way the kiss would end before it even started, a soft giggle escapes Taeyang's lips, breaking the fragile spell that had enveloped them. He’s soon to follow with giggles of his own. Giddy and embarrassed and just so, so glad he gets to know just how warm the sun can be from so close.

“What?” Intak asks between his laughter.

“Nothing,” Taeyang shakes his head. There really was no reason for his own giddiness. He was just happy. So, so so so happy. He squeezes the cloth under his grasp, eyes glued to Intak’s lips. “Another.”

“I dunno - ask nicely,” Intak smiles, slightly bowing to catch Taeyang’s eyes.

Taeyang smiles at him fondly before - without any resemblance of a warning look in his eyes, and taking advantage of their already close proximity - biting down onto the outer part of his shoulder. It’s not a violent bite by any means, but the action itself makes Intak squeak out a surprised laugh, which makes Taeyang laugh too when he pulls back -  “Gimme another kiss.”

“Ok ok - you make it hard to say no,” his left hand makes his way back to the side of Taeyang’s neck. His new favorite spot, he’s decided.

“Good,” is all the older says, a teasing threat to his voice. Intak hopes he never changes, for as long as he gets to be in his life. He’s so grateful to be loved by the sun.

Taeyang never gets his second kiss he so badly wants, doesn’t even get close to diving in one more time before he sees Intak’s wide eyes, attention snapping somewhere behind the older to a voice they both recognize better than their own.

“You whores! ” He can hear Keeho a series of steps behind him. Taeyang lets his head fall on Intak’s shoulder, a mix of annoyance about the interruption and the need to laugh - it was kinda funny. He can feel Intak look between what must be an approaching leader and Taeyang’s head, probably unsure on what to do right now. The older spares him by finally lifting his head and taking a good step back before Keeho is in front of them. “Both of you said no to walking around with me because you wanted to go together ?! This is the type of betrayal that broke The Beatles up!”

“ Sorryyyy, ” Intak laughs, cutely replying to the leader in english. Taeyang’s own crackling laughter makes him push the dancer’s shoulder, Intak laughs with him. He always does.

“Only you would make a Beatles reference in this day and age,” Jongseob makes his presence known by poking Keeho in the shoulder as he mocks him. Because Taeyang is a menace who has made such a terrible influence on his favorite maknae since the second they met. “You’re so old,” he’s so proud.

“Whose side are you on?!”

“We get it grandpa, let's get you to bed,” Taeyang doesn’t help - never intended to, not for one second.

“Just for that, you’re paying for the taxi back.”

“I already did that on the way here,” the oldest sticks his tongue out at Keeho, he does it right back to him. It would be hard to guess they are both the oldest in their group. “Make Intak pay.”

“Intak, you’re paying for the taxi,” the leader agrees with that far more easily than Taeyang expected him to. He must be more annoyed at Intak not going with him than he ever was about Taeyang. Not that he would ever complain about Intak’s choice. At all.

“What did I do?!” 

[...]

In the confined space of the car, Intak and Taeyang found themselves sitting side by side, surrounded by the lively hum of conversation that wrapped the vehicle in a vibrant energy. Despite being privileged with the proximity of their seats, the dynamic chatter of their fellow members took center stage, Soulie attempts to describe in between soft laughter an incident that had occurred when it was just the three of them, getting interrupted by an excited Jongseob who believes he can describe what happened much better than he does - Keeho, the main victim as to why they find their retelling so funny - as it was something that had happened to him - adds to the story by complaining and whining about how it really isn’t that hilarious. Not that Intak was processing much of what they were saying altogether.

The dancer stole occasional glances at Taeyang, their eyes meeting in silent acknowledgment amidst the lively banter. They smile at each other despite the lack of personal conversation between them at that moment, there was an unspoken understanding that the shared experience of being with the group held its own kind of significance the rest simply doesn’t get to know. 

On their very corner of the cab, Taeyang slips a hand to hold Intak’s, without a word and merely a small glance back at him. The action still makes him beam, engaging in the conversation perhaps a tad bit louder than he was before.

As the car pulled up to the hotel, the group dispersed with a series of small goodbyes, each member heading towards their respective rooms. Intak, amidst the parting words and waves, couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret, realizing that they each were heading towards their own room. The day was coming to an end without being able to acknowledge what just happened. All of what happened. Intak deemed himself sentimental enough to admit that closing the door to his hotel room behind him without being able to have one last moment with Taeyang today left a subtle sense of mourning in his heart. It wasn't a profound sorrow, but he could feel the small emptiness in his chest.

Intak is the first to take a shower, after rightfully winning a game of rock-paper-scissors against their leader. He had considered letting the other have the turn first, knowing that Keeho had a slightly sour attitude towards him from today. But he was also exhausted, and fully aware Keeho was not one to hold grudges. He is drying his wet hair with the towel when he steps out of the bathroom, letting the older take his turn.

He is on a mission to find his phone somewhere in the room to decide what kind of takeout they were going to eat today when a knock on the door interrupts his plans. He still grabs his phone, appreciating the star hanging from it fondly for just a second before he heads to the door. When he opens it, he gets to see Jiung’s slightly annoyed face for only a blink before he walks past him, his laptop and a pillow both under his arm.

Intak turns towards him, unmoving from the spot in front of the door with furrowed, confused eyebrows. “What are you…?”

“Go ask Taeyang,” Jiung leaves his laptop on the night table and throws his pillow into Intak’s bed, following right after. “Was his idea.”

“...What’s the pillow for?” 

Jiung gives him an unimpressed glare as he sets his laptop on his lap, his tired eyes and bags under them likely coming from having worked on music all day non-stop. Intak understands why Taeyang had fled towards his room earlier today. He’s also very much grateful for it.

“Got it - Taeyang - do I just…?”

“Just go.” Jiung rolls his eyes at him. He’s such a delight to be around when he’s tired and low-energy. Keeho is going to love spending the night next to this little ball of sunshine.

“Right!” Intak nods, drying his hair just a little more before leaving his towel in the armrest of the hotel room’s couch. He opens the door, letting out one last goodbye. “Bye Jiung, love you!”

“Don’t be late to the soundcheck tomorrow!”

“No promises!” He shouts back after he had already closed the door behind him, unsure if the ginger even heard him.

[...]

Intak is embarrassed by how fast he is to be at Taeyang’s door. His room wasn’t too far away from his own - is his excuse. Only a couple of room’s away, past the one shared by the babies, and one that belonged to some staff - he doesn’t know which. Doesn’t think it’s important for him to know, either.

He knocks when he’s ready, a special kind of nervousness settling at the pit of his stomach. “Come in!” Is all he can hear, muffled behind the door.

Taeyang is finishing up drying his hair by the foot of his bed, it looks incredibly fluffy. Intak is going to die.

The dancer walks inside the hotel room, closing the door behind him. It’s funny, their rooms look the exact same, except they are mirrored. The mix between the familiar yet unfamiliar setup makes him feel a little more confused than he already was. “So.. what’s with Jiung and his pillow?”

“I told him to go finish his song in your room,” Taeyang lets go of his towel, discarding it to the bed next to his. Once his hands are freed, he makes grabby hands at Intak, urging him to step closer. “Said he could switch with you.”

“How did you manage that?” Intak walks until he’s at the foot of the bed.

“Hey, he kicked me out first.”

“Right…” It’s like his hand is moving on autopilot when he lets it brush through Taeyang’s freshly dried hair. And, despite being something Intak had notoriously contained himself from doing a dozen times every day, it’s not this big, culmination moment he thought it would be. It’s normal, all of this. His hair is soft and warm. He’s in his hotel room. Everything is so quiet and still. They have confessed to each other today. And it’s all so normal. “Wait, why did you do that?”

“Because,” Taeyang grabs the hand playing with his hair, pulling Intak until he’s sitting right next to him - just so close. The older smiles, a special mix of sweetness and mischief Intak has a feeling he’s going to get used to very soon. “I was promised a second kiss.”

They did not get to the soundcheck on time the next morning.