Chapter Text
“Forgive me Barbatos…”
Warm and wet, red sludge seeps between her fingers, staining the silk nightgown she wore as she desperately wipes streaks over the fabric.
“For I have sinned… ”
The crack of bones echoes in her ears, her own heavy breathing a reminder of the exertion on her body with every determined swing.
“ Oh Archons, I’ve killed a man .”
But…
He deserved it.
———
After a long day, what Barbara looked forward to most was a long bath. The cathedral was well equipped with proper living quarters for each of the sisters, and Barbara usually waited until the other nuns had showered and gone to bed to take advantage of the alone time and take a long soak. A whole day of keeping up appearances was a long one, the sweet idol, the kind deaconess, the caring healer… the people of Mondstadt held high expectations for her. For the sake of her sister, their family, she strived everyday to meet that ideal version of herself everyone saw her as.
However, there is no use in stressing out when she’s meant to be relaxing. She prepares her bath water, pouring in a small vial of hydro essential oil for the relaxing effects and the subtle scent, and a bit of flaming essential oil for the heat. She leans over the tub, breathing in the steam with a happy sigh. The water was ready.
Barbara slips her robe off over her shoulders and gathers her long and loose curls into a bun to hold her hair out of the way. She sinks into the tub, exhaling bubbles as half of her face settles under the water. She could just close her eyes and zone out, or hum something silly, or just daydream. This, of course, was all to prepare to do it all again tomorrow. Maybe she was due for a vacation. Maybe a trip to Liyue could be fun. Or, perhaps Sumeru? She’d always wanted to see the Akademiya that Ms. Lisa had graduated from.
Maybe she could convince Jean to take some time off as well. They hadn’t done much together since they took that island vacation with Klee those few years ago. Her sister worked too hard, and Barbara wanted to spend more time with her. They still had so much to make up for in their relationship. Of course they deeply cared about each other, but still they had never had that opportunity to form a deep, sisterly bond due to their separation as children. Surely Jean would like to visit the Akademiya as well. Maybe Lisa would escort them—
Click.
Barbara’s eyes snap open, sitting upright in the water as she glances around. What was that noise? She glances around the bathroom, but doesn’t see a single thing out of place. But, it didn’t sound like anything falling over anyway. It was too faint. It sounded more… mechanical? The plumbing maybe? She checks the faucet of the tub, but nothing seemed to be out of sort. With one final look towards the window, she concludes that it must have been some sort of bird. There were some that had quite complex calls and mimicry abilities after all.
Before she sinks back into the water, she takes up her favorite bar of soap, scented like sweet flowers and honey, and scrubs over her skin as she hums along with a quiet tune. Someone like her needed to smell as good as she acted after all. Thank Sucrose for being able to extract such a strong, sweet fragrance from those flowers of hers that she always was experimenting on. Barbara lifts a leg out of the tub to scrub it down as well when-
Click.
Barbara pauses again. What a weird noise. She glances back at the window, but doesn’t spot a bird, and nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. Even if nothing appeared wrong, for some reason, the sound was… unsettling. Unnatural. With a dreadful worry brewing in the pit of her stomach, she elects to wash up quickly and end her bath a little early tonight. There was no harm in going to bed a little earlier after all.
In another minute or so, Barbara finishes washing up, and leans up out of the water, opening the drain before climbing out of the tub. She reaches for her towel when she hears it again.
Click.
She’s closer to the window this time, and this time, there’s no mistake, the sound is coming from outside. Barbara’s reaction time is quicker now, and when she snaps her head over to look, she doesn’t see a bird. It’s a kamera, pressed right up against the glass, and just as quickly as she sees it, the hands holding the device pull away from sight.
Barbara drops her towel, eyes wide, she stares at the window, the dread in her stomach overflowing in horror when she finally connects the dots. She was going to be sick. She falls to her knees, taking a deep breath as she grabs her towel again with trembling hands and frantically pulls it around her body.
The whole time, someone was watching her. Someone was taking photos of her. How? She was on the second floor. This was no accident. No chance incident. Someone deliberately climbed to the roof of the cathedral, finding the window to the bathroom, and waited for someone to use it to snap compromising photographs. For their own sick satisfaction? For blackmail? Something else? Either way, Barbara could not let them run free with those pictures.
It would take the culprit some time to get down from the roof. She had time, but she needed to go now. Barbara gets back to her feet just as quickly as she fell from them. She endures the shaking in her knees and just wipes herself down enough to throw her nightgown over her body, slide her feet into her slippers, grab her Vision, and run.
Barbara bolts for the stairs, running down to the first floor of the church and busts out the side door, frantically scanning her surroundings for a sign of the culprit. She can hardly run in slippers, and does not even pay attention if they stay on her feet as she turns the corner to the back of the cathedral just in time to see someone drop down from the wall.
It should come as no surprise, it was Albert.
“Stop!” Barbara yells, and Albert, caught hopping the fence, turns towards her like a startled hilichurl. They both stop, Barbara panting, catching her breath as they are caught in a stalemate, eyes locked as they stare one another down.
Albert doesn’t say anything, so Barbara continues. “What do you think you’re doing? Taking those… those private pictures! What do you want with me? Are you trying to ruin my reputation? Do you want… do you want them for yourself?” The more she speaks, the more her emotions well up. Her face is red with anger and embarrassment, frustrated tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She feels so exploited, so violated… even the gentle Barbara, all she wanted to do was scream. He notices this.
“Do you want these?” Albert smiles, he doesn’t show a sign of fear as he raises the kamera, and a picture prints from the slot on the bottom. Barbara doesn’t need to see it to know what is on the photo. He has something she wants to destroy, and he has the leverage in this situation. “I’ll give them to you. But, oh Barbara-sama, I’ve been your number one fan for so long, I’ve dedicated my whole life to you and you haven’t shown me any affection in return… All you do is push me away… keep me away from you… these pictures are all I have to admire you up close. The only thing better, the only way I won’t need these… is if I can have the real Barbara-sama. Please, won’t you bless me? After all I have done for you?”
Barbara lunges. She goes for the kamera. Albert, as if he was expecting an embrace in this twisted fantasy of his, doesn’t move out of the way. He slams back against one of the stone support pillars of the cathedral, groaning in pain as Barbara grabs at the kamera. Albert finally reacts, pulling back not to let her grab it so easily. She yanks, but he’s physically stronger than her, she can’t pull it out of his grasp. So, she uses her legs.
Her knee thrusts upwards, nailing Albert squarely between his legs. He cries out in pain, crumpling to the ground, and Barbara can finally rip the kamera from his hands. He’s downed, but she can’t let him go so easily. He can’t get away with this. He can’t.
Barbara swings the kamera down, it collides squarely with his face as he slumps weakly against the beam, and he screams out in pain once more. She swings again. And again. His screams grow muffled, blood gurgling in his throat. She slams it down again and again, each time, crack, crack, crack . The kamera crumbles more and more, and his face grows more and more unrecognizable. She can hardly hear him anymore, certainly not over her own cries as she can’t stop moving her arms. Blood splatters through the air with every hit. She can only see red, but Barbara can’t tell the difference between blood and her own rage. She just can't stop. Crack, crack, crack , the kamera explodes into pieces. There’s nothing to slam anymore, whatever she was hitting, it’s unrecognizable now, there’s only red. Everything is red. Him. The pieces of the kamera. Her hands. It’s silent.
Barbara drops the kamera, staring at her own palms, torn up from how hard she gripped the broken mechanical parts and soaked in blood. Albert… Albert is… it’s hardly Albert anymore. What was once an insufferable face is nothing anymore. A bloody warped mess of what was once a human being.
She killed him.
Barbara falls back into the grass, staring at that disgusting mess of splattered gore, and screams. She screams, tears drenching her cheeks in horror, in fear, in disgust… in relief. The screams descend into laughter. She’s free. She’s free! Never again will she have to fear for her own safety due to this creep lurking outside the church. Never again will she have to fear his advances, his lust, his demands. Never again will she allow him to exploit her. To violate her.
“Shit, Barbara…”
Her laughter immediately stops. Barbara turns, eyes wide as she stares up at the person who approaches her. Tall and lean with a gothic sham of a proper nun’s attire. She stares back at Barbara with a look of unrepressed shocked she’d never seen on the stoic and cool woman before.
Barbara shuffles on her knees, groveling at the nun’s feet. Between her sobs, she can hardly make out a sentence. “Rosaria, please, please, I-I didn’t. I swear… I swear I… I didn’t I…! I had to! I had… I had to! Please! He was… he was going to… I had to! Please don’t.. don’t…” She can’t say more through her sobs, but Rosaria somehow seems to understand anyway.
She kneels down with her, letting Barbara fall into her arms as she cries, her bloodied face smearing into her bosom. “This is really fucked Barbara, but I believe you. You wouldn’t do something like this unless you needed to. You’re a good person.” The praise only makes Barbara cry louder.
“Do you want to tell someone?” Barbara shakes her head furiously before Rosaria can even finish the question. Rosaria sighs, and nods.
“I’m going to ask questions, but later, right now, we need to clean this up. You were loud, really loud. The church’s walls are thick, but not soundproof. Someone is going to come looking.” Rosaria grabs Barbara’s shoulders, pushing her off to make her look at her. “Do you hear me? You need to pull yourself together now. I’ll grab the body. You get those scraps and clean up as much blood as you can. Then let’s go.”
Barbara nods, sniffling and hiccuping as she pulls herself together and scrambles back to her feet. Rosaria cringes as she grabs the body, slinging the dead weight over her shoulder. Barbara scrambles to pick up the pieces of the kamera, the film, and the printed photograph, finally using her Vision to wash out as much blood on the stone as she could.
“We have to go now, it looks fine for now in the dark, we can finish later. Let’s go.” Barbara silently nods, and follows Rosaria’s lead, running after her as they flee the scene.
———
They run silently as they leave Mondstadt’s walls heading west. Barbara doesn’t question where they’re going, she just follows, until she feels the cool air from Dragonspine whip through her hair when they grow closer to the mountain. Rosaria stops, looking back towards Barbara. “I’m going to set him up there. I’ll make it look like he was attempting to take photos of the hilichurls and he was attacked then froze up there. Give me the kamera pieces.”
Barbara hands over her armful of parts, and Rosaria takes a moment to adjust her own carrying capabilities before she starts towards the mountain again. She stops once more as she hears Barbara following after her, and turns around to look at her again. “Not you. Stay here. You’re hardly dressed to last a minute up there.” Barbara looks down, barefoot, wearing nothing but a bloody silk nightgown. Her hair loose and matted with blood as it lays against her back. With the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she had hardly noticed how cold she was.
Wrapping her arms around herself, Barbara nods, staying still as Rosaria sighs, and continues on back towards the mountain alone.
It’s at least an hour before Rosaria returns, and Barbara is in the same spot, seated in the grass now as she holds her arms around her legs, face buried in her knees. Rosaria frowns, staring at the sight before she approaches enough for Barbara to hear her and look up. “Come on. We can’t stay here. We need to get cleaned up. Come on, stand up.”
Barbara sniffles, shakily pushing herself back up, and Rosaria reaches out, taking her hand to stabilize her and get her back on her feet. “I know a place we can go, come on.” Once more, they’re walking again.
———
Rosaria brings Barbara to the Whispering Woods, setting up a little temporary camp near the water to clean up, but Barbara, still bloodied, sits curled up by the fire.
“Alright, get up, you need to wash off. You’re absolutely covered in blood. Come on, let’s go.” Rosaria leans down, helping Barbara off the ground, and she silently allows herself to be pulled up and helped up the rocks towards the water. She stands at the rocky edge for a moment before climbing right down, clothes and all.
Rosaria sighs, but sits on the edge, watching Barbara wade in the water, dunking underneath as the water around her runs red. She shakes her head, digging out a cigarette and a matchbox, lighting a match to light the cigarette between her lips. When she exhales out a cloud of smoke, Barbara turns to look up at her, her long hair laying wet against her face, like a sad, wet, dog.
Once Barbara was clean, Rosaria helps pull Barbara out and leads her shivering body back towards the fire where she sits right back down in front of the flames.
“You need to get out of those wet clothes, I’ll hang them up to dry you’re going to be freezing like that—“ As Rosaria reaches out, Barbara shrinks back, shaking her head.
“That’s completely stained in blood. You’re going to have to change eventually. But fine.” Rosaria grumbles around the cigarette in her mouth and settles in the grass on the other side of the fire. “You’ve been silent long enough. Talk to me. Tell me what happened. If I understand, I can help you.”
There’s a long pause of silence, but eventually Barbara does look up, and speaks, her voice soft enough Rosaria would just be able to hear her.
“I was taking a bath. He… Albert he… climbed onto the roof and was taking pictures of me. He tried to blackmail me with them I… I tried to take the camera and I… I had to… I had to stop it…” Barbara chokes out another sob and Rosaria gets up, settling back into a spot right by Barbara’s side.
“These? Right?” Rosaria picks up the crumpled photo and film roll Barbara had brought along. “Throw them into the fire.”
Barbara doesn’t hesitate. It’s like the life returned back into her as she grabs the evidence and tosses it right into the campfire, the flames rising as they gobble up the fodder. There’s another beat of silence as Barbara takes deep breaths, staring into the fire, her eyes only leaving when she can only see ashes on top of the sticks.
She looks back to Rosaria, staring for a moment as her eyes slowly fall to the cigarette in her mouth. She stays that way for a moment until Rosaria raises an eyebrow.
“Do you… want one?” Barbara doesn’t even seem taken aback by the suggestion, but after a second of hesitation, she nods. “Alright then. I won’t tell you that you can’t. You’re a grown woman, you can make your own decisions.” She hands it over, and Barbara looks it over, as if she’s unsure what to do next.
“Hold it in between your lips, other end, like that. Hold still now. I’ll light it.” Rosaria holds her own cigarette, leaning in as she holds the lit end against Barbara’s until it lights. Lingering close to the other girl for a moment, studying her expression, she notices that usual shimmer of innocence in her eyes is gone. “Okay, now, hold the smoke in your mouth, take it out, and inhale with a deep breath until you feel the smoke in your lungs, hold it, then exhale.”
Barbara visibly inhales, sucking in her chest, and immediately drops the cigarette in a coughing fit, as expected. “Hah, yeah, that’s what I expected. It’s okay, you don’t need to—“
Despite her words, Barbara immediately grabs the cigarette again, placing it back on her lips, and tries again. This time, she’s able to hold it in, coughing only when she exhales.
“Jeez, okay. But you did it. Don’t get addicted now, I don't want that blame for that. I get it though, you need it. It feels good, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Barbara coughs once more, covering her mouth for a moment before attempting another drag. She still coughs, but handles it even better this time. “Thank you, Rosaria I… I really messed up. I even dragged you into my mess. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Barbara stares at the rising smoke as she talks, turning the cigarette between her fingers.
“This isn’t something so new to me. Well, maybe a little new, I’ve never seen something exactly like this situation, but that’s far from the first corpse I’ve dealt with.” Rosaria takes a drag herself. “But you don’t need to worry so much. You are the victim here. Albert… he’s been stalking you for who knows how long? This situation was inevitable. If you come forward, say it was self defense, no one will doubt-“
“-No!” Barbara raises her voice, quickly shaking her head. “No one can know. No one . I wouldn’t be able to stay in Mondstadt anymore. No one would ever be able to look at me the same again. You saw what happened to him I… know one can know I did that. No one can know what he did to me. No one.”
Rosaria holds up her hands. “Alright. I hear you. No one will know. We’ve covered our tracks. I’ll get you some clean clothes before I take you back. We’ll clean up the rest of the blood, sneak you back into your room, and no one will have any idea. You can go back to your life… and if you need to talk to someone about it, you can talk to me, yeah?”
Barbara nods, finally, the smallest of smiles forming on her lips. “Thank you, Rosaria. I always knew that I could trust you. You’re a good sister.”
That was the last compliment Rosaria ever expected to receive from Barbara, the thorn in her side who always pestered her to participate in service. However, at this moment, she smiles back. “You’re a good sister too, Barbs.”
Barbara chuckles softly, but looks at the cigarette once more, shaking her head. “No I’m not. I’m not anymore.”