Chapter Text
In all the realities Jean imagined his week playing out, this was not even close to a possibility.
Jean was currently reclined in a random bed, in a random house, staring at a random wall, with random voices fluttering in the air. Words grazed past his ears like fallen feathers; nothing was heavy enough to make an impact until a violent thud shook the room.
A flinch trembled through Jean so hard he was sure he had jolted a rib back out of place. He was relieved to find all his ribs intact and felt no pain from the punch...the punch. He remembered where he was. His attention shakily found its way back to fiery blue eyes: Neil Josten.
That was when it all came flooding back to him: The Nest, Riko, darkness. Then came Renee, and the nurse, and Kevin Day. He also remembered a gruelling discussion in their last meeting together like this: about Ichirou's relinquishment and how Jean had gone up a step from "possession" to "asset". Kevin had stayed in the room at that time but it was no comfort to Jean. They just shared a disbelieving silence.
Now Neil Josten has come back. Jean guessed he probably had some more life-altering bombshells to deliver. Deciding that he really didn't want anything further to do with this guy, he changed the direction of his dissociated glare to the window. The window seemed like a bigger distraction than a wall.
A raven was perched on a nearby tree branch. Jean was reminded all over again of how trapped he would be forevermore.
"I just knocked. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," It would be a lie to say Neil's familiar voice wasn't some sort of relief - an anchor to normalcy. He did not dignify the statement with any response; something Jean was aware Neil had a tendency to do as well.
When the room went stale, Kevin's familiar footfall became the one sound left in their vacuum.
"Jean, you have a visitor."
Jean didn't want to see anyone ever again. He believed what short time he had left in this cesspit wasn't worth spent talking any further. It would be made redundant and a waste of oxygen in a short time anyway.
"Jean..."
When nobody answered, Neil padded over to block out Jean's view of the window. Unsurprisingly, he kept his eyes trained to the spot where he last saw the raven.
Realising he wouldn't be getting an answer any time soon, Neil continued.
"We have the coach and captain of the USC Trojans just down the hall waiting to meet you. They want to discuss things with you," There was no point being stubborn, and even less point pretending he had suddenly lost the ability to understand English, so Jean elevated his glare to meet Neil's icy look. "About the next academic year. They'll go over your induction to the team, and transfering your subjects, and whatever else they need to fly by you before they hit the road back to California soil. Don't be difficult. They're going to try and help you."
Jean scoffed, revealing the single closest thing to an emotion other than fear which he had demonstrated since he got here. Mentally, he checked himself to not do it again. Revealing it will only bring trouble. He let the disbelief die in his throat.
Another uncomfortable silence later, three pairs of footsteps made their way into the room. Neil's gaze didn't waiver once and Jean entertained the thought that maybe Neil Josten understood him a little bit better than he had initially expected. The thought left him as quickly as it arrived; there probably wasn't another human out there who understood him.
A sharp intake of breath can sound a lot like a whisper laced in torment. Half-expecting Riko to be standing in the doorway, Jean let his eyes drop downward as he tilted his head to the door. Thankfully the only pair of black boots he saw belonged to Kevin, the other three were red, blue and white (in that order) as three men stood gawping at him no-doubt.
"I don't know about you gents, but a coffee sounds like a great idea. Especially you coach- Uh - Coach Rhemann, you know with the long journey and all." The smile lilted his words as he made his suggestion. Jean was unbothered as to what his angle was by saying this. The men had already seen his state, being ushered out of the room now wouldn't change that. Especially Wymack - he had seen this mess the day of the attack anyway. Anyone else but Jean would have appreciated the gesture.
"But we have to do the run through, surely we can't expect the kid to be left here with no details and just expect him to attend in September-"
"Don't sweat it Coach. Y'know, info leaflets exist and I'm sure if you left something with Coach Wymack to dispense to Jean later on he would, right Wymack?"
"I won't say no to a coffee, James? I'll get Abby to get some travel mugs filled for the journey. C'mon, let's leave the men to it.'
"But-"
"Black, 1 sugar, right?" Jean watched as the blue and white trainers vanished back to the hall. To anyone else it would have been funny how quickly they came and left, they came to scope out the damage and left only after offering a strangled gasp.
"Well that gets those codgers out of here. Right, down to business," The Captain strides up beside Jean, keeping an arms distance away so as to not 'trip on anyone's toes,' (Jean was sure he would be the kind of person to say something like that.) "My name is Jeremy Knox. I am Captain for the University of Southern California Exy squad, the Trojans. Kevin here has recommended you to us. Now, Coach and I sat and watched the tapes and, really, you're a damn good player. We want you on our team-"
Despite the room now filling with words, words probably warmed with a press-ready smile, the rest of the room stayed cold. Even with the duvet, Jean felt himself practically shivering. He hoped it was the cold. The truth was, he hadn't been able to distinguish the difference between shivering in cold or in fear for the past couple years.
One thing Jean was aware of at this moment, however, was that this meeting was excruciatingly awkward. Even if he had suddenly returned verbal, he wouldn't know what to say.
For as long as Jean knew Kevin, Jean knew the Trojans; Kevin had practically been drooling over them since the team popped up on his television set when he could so much as walk. Sometimes, on particularly bad days - where Riko had been merciless in his 'playing' - Kevin would let his sympathy for Jean get the better of him. In moments where he was feeling somewhat brave, he would attempt to comfort his teammate. The only thing they really knew, especially in Jean's case, was Exy.
Kevin would share any bit of information he could get his hands on with Jean about the Trojans: He would divulge stats, and best play strategies. Going so far as to read up on tabloid drama about who was in what situation with who, and who was joining or leaving the team, and so on.
In days which were full of violence and chaos with Riko, Jean was grateful for Kevin's mindless waffling about the USC Trojans. In a way, Kevin's unhinged fanboying allowed Jean to escape his reality for a while. It was the closest he had felt to peace since he was sold to Tetsuji.
However, peace seemed nothing more than a pipe dream to Jean now. Why waste his time thinking about Kevin Day, or the Trojans, or his future when he knew - somewhere deep within him - that he wouldn't be around much longer to care.
His thoughts of Kevin's past ramblings had managed to lull Jean into an avenue of nostalgia. Seemingly, out of nowhere, the ‘Frere Jacques' tune was suddenly circling in his mind. He had no explanation for the thought. He didn't particularly care for the song either, so why would he think about it? Another thought occurred to him, the tune sounded off, as if there was a syllable missing from the first line of the song.
He had spoken before he could stop himself, "You're not getting the tune right-"
"So, what do you think about joining the Trojans?" Jean might have the energy now to talk, but he wouldn't stoop to a bigger reaction than that.
"I think you're insane."
His sudden outburst had forced his eyes upwards so he was staring in the face of Jeremy Knox. Shot back at Jean was a kilowatt smile, face scrunched in protest at the expression. Out of his gear, Jeremy looked even more approachable than he did on the court, if that was even possible. He has this appearance of the most friendly college kid to exist - ready to bear his soul to you and offer to complete any good deed he could get away with.
His hair was unmistakably bleached to a sandy blond and freckles were peppered over his skin like stars in the night sky.
It was only because Jean knew his height before, thanks to Kevin's man-crush, that he knew he was shorter than himself. That being said, standing beside Kevin now, with hands on his hips in an open stance, they could be mistaken to be the same height.
With a casual dim of his smile, Jeremy widened his eyes to peer back at Jean. They were the colour of coal. Although, to Jean, everyone's eyes were practically coal. Everyone except kids with obnoxiously luminous blue headlights for eyes.
"I'm also not very musical. Maybe you'd like to teach me all about french nursery rhymes back in California? I'll even let you help me gain some sanity back."
"No, you can suffer without me. Be musically inept and mental without me. I will not sign with you."
"Okay then, no problem. I won't force you." Somehow, Jean doubted this stranger's words. "Although, I would like to know who you would sign with? If we have some competition for you I would like to know about it."
"What do you gain from that knowledge?" Jean was suspicious and his glare deepend to a scowl, unimpressed by Jeremy's persistent smile.
"Maybe I can offer you a better deal." Something akin to amusement glimmered in Jeremy's eye. For an instant, Jean was prepared to believe the man actually was insane. Arming for a business proposition, he wrapped his arms over his chest. A smirk was rising to the surface in apprehension.
"You cannot make a better deal than the Ravens." Like a bat to the stomach, his laugh pierced through the palpable tension in the room, and Jean could have doubled over as if winded. In reality, he couldn't move for fear of pulling a stitch or something worse. All he knew was that Jeremy's laugh was a thing to behold, even if it was at Jean's expense.
Joining in with his reaction was the Queen and the Zombie. Jean could do nothing but sit there, basking in the strangers' laughter and horrified stares of the other two.
"Now who's crazy!" Had this been a wrestling match, Jeremy would have tapped out.
“Excuse us Knox, I think we need a private word with Jean about this-”
“Oh no you don’t, If Jean does end up wanting to sign with us, I’ll want to be in on this aspect of his life.” He looks to Neil, less for a defence and more to pass on his demand. “Seriously, how much longer will it take for the press to get to where you four are now anyway? You met Kathy, she would stop at nothing to get a scoop. Especially,” sending a pointed look back to Kevin, “where you’re involved.”
Jean picked up on the miscount. As if coming down from a perch, Andrew emerged from a dark corner behind Neil. It amazed Jean how quiet the monster had been although he quickly recalled that he was no longer on medication. Proust made sure of that.
Jean knew the torment of Proust firsthand and suddenly he realised he had more in common with Andrew Minyard than he would ever admit.
“They would never take you back.” It was Andrew who addressed him now. In his wake, the room went quiet to heed his words.
“You don’t know that.” Jean found his eyes drifting back to Kevin and was shocked to find a defeated frown. Usually Kevin seemed just as shocked by the way Neil talked about the Ravens but, now it was Andrew, he took the news without batting an eye.
“You think we haven’t been here before with Kevin? I don’t think I have the fight in me to convince two idiots that the Ravens are a deadbeat, let alone just Kevin with all his bitching.”
“Is that why you won’t keep me?” The question was revealing, most of all to Jean. Surely, after all he had gone through with the Ravens he should stick around with the other fuck ups, aka the Foxes.
“Oh, I wouldn’t adopt you under any conditions: I am sick of taking in strays. Although this side of things was never my business. You better ask Kevin about why you’re not worthy of being a fox.”
Of course, how could Jean think Andrew had anything to do with this, or even Neil. The deciding vote had always gone to Kevin. It was Kevin who left him at the Nest to fend off Riko alone. It was Kevin who had always been on-par with Riko and his addiction to Exy, Jean was never more to either of them than a pawn. Not worthy to be wanted by Ravens or even by Foxes.
“If you must know, I think you’re too advanced to be a Fox-”
“I could have told you that. Your team has never been more than mediocre, and that should be a compliment to the likes of you.” Particular emphasis was directed to Andrew and Neil as Jean whipped his head to face them.
“Exactly,” Jean was slightly surprised to see no reaction from the two foxes but more so by Kevin’s complete agreement. “You’re too advanced for the ‘likes of us’ as you put it. Us Foxes start from nothing and fight from ground zero. After Riko broke my hand, I was no better than a rookie - I had nothing. That fact alone nearly killed me when I first joined Palmetto.
“But you? You don’t belong here. You have far too much at risk. Neil has the potential to go Court - if he puts in the hours and trains to my calibre - whereas, for you Jean, it’s inevitable.”
The suggestion made Jean sick to his stomach. A biting nausea seemed to wash over him and suddenly he was drowning in it.
The only destination out of the Raven was Court. It was drilled into them since they could even understand what Exy was. There was no other eventuality which a Raven could aspire for. To hear it being dangled in front of him by none other than Kevin himself was something Jean was struggling to handle.
“But to do that, I cannot have you on my team. I refuse and so does the rest of the team save Renee. But I know better than to trust the optimist of the group. Not only do you not belong here, but if we let you stay then I don’t think this team could survive the arguments.”
“That’s where I come in.” Jean risked a brief glance at Jeremy before looking back at Kevin; trying hard to read his thoughts but getting nowhere.
“The Trojans are a great team. They have promise and their training methods are second-to-none. You will not find a team more suitable than them.”
“What about the Ravens?” Kevin gave a cold look in return.
“Going back there is out of the question. It would be like signing you own death certificate; borderline suicide.” Jean made no reaction to Neil’s statement.
“How about we ask you why you reached out to Renee?”
“I didn’t…not really anyway…” The last thing Jean wanted to discuss was anything surrounding the night of his final attack from Riko.
“You knew the kind of person Renee was and took advantage of that.” This came from Neil, “You made use of her good nature and had her rescue you. Nobody forced you to cry for help but you did.
“This was calculated and planned. You knew Kevin wouldn’t dare step foot near Edgar Allen so instead you appealed to Renee. So, yes, you wanted her help and now you’re being ungrateful. I cannot understand when you’re in two minds about the whole thing.”
“Alright, alright calm down.” Jeremy dared to step up a couple inches towards Neil in warning. It was met by a chilling glare from Andrew whose hands dug deeper into his pockets as if he was stopping himself from lashing out. “It’s like you guys are speaking in tongues at this point. We’re not getting anywhere by talking about drama so let’s just let Jean come to his own decision about this.”
“Sure, but if he tries going back to that death trap and doesn’t make it back then it will be his blood on your hands.”
“So be it.” Jeremy gave no hesitation. “I trust Jean to make the right decision for himself.”
“Trust him? You don’t even know him.”
“Maybe not,” Jeremy turned his most genuine smile to Jean, “But I know you’ll make the right decision when the time comes. The Trojans are ready to take you in so just let us know what you decide. We would be lucky to have you”
It was clear that Jeremy had said his piece and wanted nothing more than to get out of Palmetto State. He slapped a hand to his thigh.
“Right then, I best be off. You heard what I told Wymack Jean. We’ll leave our info with him so if you want to give us a call when you’re ready, we’ll be waiting.
“Boys, c’mon. It is best we get out and let the man rest, lord knows he is going to need it, no matter what happens.” Following his lead, the others exited the room. Kevin was last and left a longing look out of the window just before he shut the door again, leaving the room in silence. Jean replicated the look and found nothing.
The raven had disappeared.