Chapter Text
It always started the same way. The grass cool against his back, face warmed by late afternoon sun. The smell of sweet grass, of the dirt, the animals he could sometimes hear roaming the rolling hills late at night, early in the morning. Yuuji knew he was dreaming again because the sky wasn't even halfway dark yet and there were already more stars than he'd ever seen in the city at any time of night.
His kosode stuck to his back as he pulled himself to sit, the meaty parts of his palms fitting against his sockets until the sleep left his eyes and his vision spotted black. He rose to his feet, arms reaching over his head, wringing the stiffness from his muscles. It took him only a moment to assess himself; his clothes were clean of dirt and looked only somewhat slept in, the fabric creased and wrinkled in places, a little sweat-stuck in others. It suited him just fine; a walk to the river would do him well, air out the stuffiness.
There was little that Yuuji remembered from his dreams, no matter what he did to try and hold on to them. Keeping a journal tucked between his mattress and the bedframe, scrambling for the flashlight on his cellphone before he was even fully awake. Most of what he'd managed to scribble down in his nearly-fugue states were things about the places he found himself in. The roll-out futons over straw mats, the river that ran farther than Yuuji had ever traversed to, the packed dirt paths of the village - but not the people that lived there.
People; names, faces - all gone by the time he woke in the real world - his world. His khaki-colored walls, his wood panel ceiling. His annoying 2-bit cellphone alarm clock that Megumi always insisted he change because I can hear it through the wall, dude, but he never did.
In all the mess of his dream diary - as affectionately named by Nobara when she'd found it, Yuuji red all the way up to his ears as he snatched it right out of her hands - there was only one constant: a boy. No name, not even a decent description that he might've been able to recognize him by. Nothing helpful. Just half-baked thoughts scribbled down in notes, brief bullet points.
...skinny kid around the village.
...won't talk to me.
...the kind of eyes no child should have.
Sometimes, in the stage just between his dreams and reality, Yuuji swore he could still see him. Feel him; his presence, if nothing else. Like he could still smell the oils in his hair, feel the dirt he'd wiped off his face when he rubbed his fingers together.
Where people faded before Yuuji could think to remember them, his memory had more to offer when it came to the place.
The packed dirt road, the endless miles of green hills and shallow valleys - they were familiar, a sense of knowing in the way the earth felt beneath his geta.
It was something that Yuuji couldn't have seen anywhere but in the movies; even the countryside had a main highway, the ever-present droning of a few scattered windmills. A single train station with the closest town no less than ten kilometers in any given direction. He'd never been, but Nobara spoke of it every now and then. Shared old pictures of her hometown, her cheeks wind-chapped in the selfies taken during a brisk walk to school. The stars were brighter there than they were in the city, she said, and the streets were quiet except for the distant rumbling of the late-night train, the pitched whistle in the air as it departed five minutes later.
Here, the air was quiet. Still. Peaceful, though Yuuji had had little reason as of late to use the word. There was no one here to chastise him for it, to remind him of what horrors awaited him when he was conscious.
Those creepy cursed spirits. His impending death sentence. Even Sukuna was quiet here, the oily feeling deep in his sinuses clear for what felt like the first time in months.
It all seemed so far away, like those concerns belonged to a different person.
-
This time of year, the river ran fast and heavy. Yuuji could hear it before he saw it, the gentle roar of rushing water. His mouth felt like cotton, his lips chapped and probably a little sunburned from his nap. This part of the river sat at the bottom of a small hill, Yuuji's legs bent at the knees as he made his way down the slope. He avoided kneeling when the waters were high, the earth at either side often wet and muddied by some overflow. Instead, Yuuji lowered himself to his haunches, his arms outstretched and his hands chaliced before him as he dipped them beneath the water's surface. He craned his neck and slurped from his own cupped palms, dipping his hands beneath again after a few gulps.
As he dipped his head for another drink, Yuuji suddenly stopped, his attention flitting elsewhere.
Distantly, over the sound of the river: voices. Children's voices.
The water slipped from between Yuuji's parted fingers as he stood, wiping his wet mouth across his sleeve, his hands against the legs of his pants. Squinted, his eyes following the line of the river as it led up. Far enough away that, in the dusky evening, Yuuji could only see the distant silhouette of a few children - five, or so.
He could hear laughter, a few boys' voices piling on top of each other when they cheered or yelled. Though the memory wouldn't have stuck with Yuuji, he was sure it wasn't a common occurrence for so many children to be messing around the river when it was so close to nightfall, the last remnants of the day seeping orange at the edge where the sky met the land. Someone could slip. Fall in and get dragged along with the current, and then Yuuji wouldn't be able to live with himself - dream world or not.
The straps of his geta looped around his fingers, Yuuji fell easily into a swift jog, mostly avoiding the muddier pockets of earth. It wasn't until he was closer to them, their forms becoming more visible in the glow of early night, that he called out, "Hey!" though seemingly didn't hear him over their own ruckus. Not one of them turned, all too preoccupied with whatever it was they were messing with. A new toy, perhaps, or - god forbid - some poor animal that had strayed too far from the herd.
Yuuji's stomach twisted as the group seemed to draw nearer and nearer to the river's edge. Over the sound of his own breathing, the thud of his steps, he could hear them clearer now, the way they couldn't help but speaking over each in other in a flurry, their words:
"What if somebody finds out?"
"Nobody is going to find out, jeez! Since when are you such a wuss?"
"Why do you keep letting go?"
"He keeps - slipping! Stop moving, dammit!"
There were six of them, he realized - a figure previously swallowed up by the others, smaller than the rest of them. His limbs were scrambling, his voice pitched with youth but rough as he screamed and growled in protest.
"Hey!" Yuuji shouted again. All the boys seem to jump at once, several pairs of shiny, wild eyes turning to look at him as he barreled up the river's edge. "Get away from him!"
The boys panicked, their hands still caught up in the boys torn clothes, his dirty hair, his skinny limbs. He fell into the river with a quiet splash, the sound overtaken by the boys shouting and scrambling over each other to flee before Yuuji caught up to them.
It was a sort of grace that Yuuji forgot about them in favor of rushing over to the river, tossing his geta off to the side as he stepped into the river, the cold zipping all the way up his spine as he trudged the space between him and the boy, Yuuji grunting from an elbow to his jaw as he wrapped his arms around the kid's flailing body, lifting him up out of the water.
"Let me go! Let me go!" he yelled, his hands balled into fists and then claws, nails biting into Yuuji's forearm. He grit his teeth, reaching for that wrist with his free hand, all but wrestling with the kid to make him stop.
"What are you doing?" Yuuji shouted, wrapping his other arm around the boy, his own limbs trapped against the sides of his skinny frame. The boy grit his teeth, knocking the back of his skull against Yuuji's shoulder, a frustrated scream getting knocked out from the front.
"Let me die!" the boy shrieked, the pitch in his voice like the punch in Yuuji's gut, "I want to die!"
Yuuji tightened his grip as they finally started making their way back to the river's edge, the boy's stick-thin legs tired from fighting against the current, against Yuuji. He'd gone mostly limp but for the heaving of his ribcage - and if Yuuji heard him sob and wail over the sound of the river, he wouldn't bring it up again.
The kid was still sucking in deep breaths when Yuuji hauled them both up onto the bank, immediately wriggling out of Yuuji’s grip to collapse onto his hands and knees, body enveloped by his water-swelled clothing.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" Yuuji asked, hands outstretched to check for any injuries but the kid quickly caught some semblance of composure, tucking his knees up under himself, his heels already lifted from the ground as if he might take off any second. Yuuji nodded, slowly bringing his hands back to his sides, his voice evened out by the next time he opened his mouth. "It’s fine, hey, see? I won’t do anything to you. We’re good."
The boy spluttered, coughed once. Went silent again. Primed to flee but stuck staring, his eyes and half of his face mostly concealed by a curtain of dripping-wet hair, a bloody shade of blond a few shades lighter than Yuuji’s own.
"We're good," he repeated, a hand on the grass as he sunk down to sit. Yuuji brought his knees up, his elbows resting atop them as he caught his breath, sparing a glance down at the boy, then out at the fields in the direction the boys had taken off to. They'd stopped shouting by now, though Yuuji could still make out the tiniest white shapes of their billowed shirts against the blue grass in the distance.
A quiet rustling from the right of him had Yuuji turning. It had been enough time now that the kid had settled, sitting cross-legged and slouching over himself so until his spine formed an outward curve. He was small, probably at least a few years or more between him and the boys from earlier. If Yuuji had to guess, he might've said the boy was around nine or ten. A sort of late bloomer - or maybe it had something to do with his bird chest, the way his bones felt like they would bend if Yuuji held him any closer on the way back to shore.
And perhaps it was his age, or a combination of all the things that made it so disturbing.
Let me go. I want to die.
Yuuji felt the weight of it in the air, both strangers, neither of them knowing what to say now that the spike of adrenaline had passed. He blew air out of his mouth, rubbing the shorter hair at the back of his head.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
The boy's eyes flickered to him, a hard look from the corner of his eyes. Not a peep out of his mouth. Yuuji nodded to himself.
"Sure, sure. Man of few words. I get that."
The kid lifted his knees and folded his arms on them, placed his forehead atop, and suddenly Yuuji understood. He fell silent, his gaze fixed on the river as though he might spot a jumping fish. Anything to keep his eyes busy.
-
Long minutes passed before Yuuji turned toward the boy again, brows furrowed, hesitating on opening his mouth. The kid hadn't moved at all; Yuuji had to wonder just what it was that had happened to make him think that, want that. To make him sound so convinced, like he knew the weight of his own life and what it would mean to lose it.
It was a feeling Yuuji was familiar with. One that reared its ugly head every so often, when things seemed particularly bleak. Yuuji could have, might have if it weren't for Gojo-sensei, for his friends. For what might happen if he did it before he'd gotten all of those fingers. The lives that would be lost over a moment or two of bare weakness.
"Hey, kid," he said, his voice gentle so as not to startle the boy. "Come on. You don't want it to get too late. Your parents are probably worried, you know."
Yuuji quieted again when the boy made no move to get up, to even glance in Yuuji's direction. He pursed his lips, tilted and lowered his head, his brows furrowed as his eyes zeroed in in the uncovered sliver of the side of the boy's face. He lifted his head, chuffing softly at the absurdity as he realized the faintest rise and fall of the boys shoulders, the quiet puffs of breath Yuuji could only hear over the river when he leaned in close.
There was no way the kid passed out, not when his clothes were still so damp, not after everything from no more than fifteen minutes ago...
"Oh, shit," Yuuji mumbled, the tone shifting quickly when the realization hit him. He rose to his knees, crossing the small distance between them, a hand reaching out to touch the kid's back, his nape. "Wake up now, buddy."
The boy made a quiet, weak noise of protest but seemingly had no energy to refuse Yuuji as he tucked a hand beneath his chin, lifting his head from its place tucked into the pocket in the center of his arms. Yuuji brushed his hair from his face, a sort of sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he finally got a good look at him. His forehead was all pink, a pressure mark that matched the one on his left forearm.
"Hey, come on. You gonna get up or do I have to carry you?" Yuuji encouraged, gently patting the boys cheek. Despite the effort, he couldn't be roused - and so Yuuji tucked his feet under himself, settling his weight on his haunches. "Okay, dude. Last chance."
He fit both hands under his armpits, lifting the boy along as he stood, his skinny frame putting up little fight. Yuuji wondered when was the last time he'd even eaten anything - his stomach hadn't made a single noise, but that meant little if it had been a while.
He set the boy's head on his shoulder, interlocking his hands at the small of the kid's back to keep him from slipping, his legs tucked around Yuuji's waist.
"You okay?" Yuuji asked, rucking the boy a bit higher up for a better grip before he settled, earning only a disgruntled mumble. It was as good an answer as any.
-
Yuuji's feet led him blindly, following some unmarked path through the wild grasses until he found his way to the main dirt road, following it the whole twenty minute walk up to the village. It was an intrinsic knowledge; a familiarity of the body rather than the mind, as if Yuuji had been here countless times before - and he probably had, if only he could remember more than bits and pieces that suck with him, small flashes that came to him while he was daydreaming during another in-classroom lecture.
His soles were caked in dirt by the time he made it to the edge of town. Most windows were lit up, a soft orange glow coming from within the small neighboring homes. It was early enough into the night that there were still some villagers up and about, whether returning from a friends house or rounding up the last of their livestock in their pens. They went unnoticed at first until a woman with a basket full of clothes from the line glanced over and seemingly stopped in her tracks, hesitating a moment before she was making her way towards them.
"Yuuji-kun," she called, switching her basket to one side and holding it against her hip. She knew his name, yet her face didn't strike any grand memory in his mind. "Where were you?" As she neared him, he watched her eyes flit between him and the back of the boy's head, her brows furrowing as if confused. "What happened?"
"Um," Yuuji paused, trying to get past the novelty of the situation. Though he knew it was a dream, he couldn't deny the fact that it felt so... real. He wondered if it always felt like this; if he knew these people, had a proper history with them that he just couldn't recall. "I was... sleeping. In the fields. I went to the river for a drink and there was this group of boys..." he trailed off as if suddenly remembering; those boys definitely lived somewhere in the village. They'd all gone home by now, undoubtedly, but in the morning when the village returned to its daily activity, he'd be able to single them out - if not by face then by voice, the sound of their shouts and laughter still fresh in Yuuji's mind.
Why he cared at all, he couldn't say - there was no reasonable explanation as to why he was getting so worked up over a couple of preteen bullies his mind had decided to make up, and yet he couldn't shake his desire to do something. What they'd done to this boy... the way they must've treated him before for it to even get to the point it had. The desperation in the boy's voice from earlier: let me die.
"What happened to him? Did he hit his head?" she asked, lifting a free hand as if to touch the boy's back before quickly thinking better of it.
"I don't think so," Yuuji shook his head. "He was sitting beside me on the bank and just fell asleep. I think he's exhausted."
"I would imagine... Sosobo will want to see him if those boys got to him again." The woman hefted her basket off her hip, gripping it with both hands as she made to turn, gesturing with her elbow for Yuuji to follow. "Come. I'll accompany you once I put these clothes down."
-
Sosobo's home sat on the outer skirts of the small village. The woman led him there quickly, the other villagers sparing glances in their direction only to turn away as they passed by. She called out for Sosobo from the open window of her home, glancing back at Yuuji as they waited.
The door slid back and there stood an elderly woman, her hair fully white, her eyes small and beady. Yuuji felt spotlighted under her gaze as she seemingly took them in with a single look alone.
"Ah," she said, as if understanding the situation completely. Yuuji wouldn't have doubted it. "Yes. Bring him inside. Come along, Anzu."
She disappeared back into her home, leaving the sliding door open for them to follow, Yuuji wiping the bottoms of his feet off against the opposite calf before he followed the two women inside. He glanced around the candle-lit space, a lantern on the low table illuminating the small space.
"Set him down, Yuuji-kun. Gently now," the old woman instructed. She followed Yuuji to the open space of flooring beside the table, Yuuji lowering himself to his knees as he gently set the boy down. He sat back as Sosobo kneeled at his other side, her knobby hands reaching out to brush the hair from his face, touch his forehead. She tsked softly, her attention turned towards Anzu. "His temperature is low. We'll need to get him into something dry. Put on a kettle and gather some linens. The smallest pair of hakama you can find."
Yuuji's stomach sank - he should've known better than to let the boy sit in those wet clothes for so long. However, the old woman didn't let him wallow about it for too long, turning to him with his own set of instructions moments later.
"Remove these wet clothes and sit with him until I'm finished."
Sosobo's stood then, leaving his side to instead take to the opposite end of the room where a large pot sat over a small bed of coals, the two women moving seamlessly around the home as if they'd done this many times before.
Daunted, Yuuji only swallowed as he returned his attention to the boy, thinking of different ways to phrase a proper apology as he set to work on unwrapping his damp clothes, undoing the knots of his hakama. Anzu came around with the fresh pair of pants and a clean linen just in time, helping Yuuji fasten them as tight as possible against the boy's skinny hips. She rose as soon as it was done, instead taking to helping Sosobo, leaving Yuuji with the boy.
He unfolded the lines, laying them out from the middle of his chest all the way down to his feet. He was shivering, his thin brows furrowed slightly, his mouth ajar. Yuuji couldn't help but feel guilty - it all felt so real, easy enough to forget that it wasn't despite the few times Yuuji had had to remind himself of the fact already.
Eventually, Anzu returned with a large bowl of warm water and a few small cloth rags. She placed the bowl beside Yuuji, then took her place at the other side, dipping a rag into the warm water. "We should get him warmed up as soon as possible. This should help speed things along," she explained, wringing out the excess water before she folded the rag twice over, placing it over the boy's forehead. She paused as she did so, the back of one hand gently ghosting over the slightly warped, darker skin on the right side of the boy's face. A birthmark of some sort, one that spanned from the boy's hairline down to the edge of his lip. His skin looked tight, the hair on that side of his face thinner, lighter; his brow and lashes were sparse in comparison to the right, where the boy's long lashes fanned out against the highest part of his cheeks. He was calmer than Yuuji had seen him before, certainly, but he didn't look peaceful. Even unconscious, discomfort made itself known in his clenched jaw, the twitches of his eyes rolling beneath their lids. His face was gaunt, the hollows of his eyes filled with shadows from the dim, orange glow of the lantern and candles.
"I knew this would happen again," Anzu spoke, her voice gentler, quieter now. She sucked on her teeth quietly, shaking her head as her and Yuuji both wrung out a fresh rag each. He folded his up to place upon the boy''s chest as Anzu dabbed at his skin, wiping at his face, his neck. "Those boys... I swear. I don't know how the others are so willing to just turn a blind eye..."
Yuuji watched her as he spoke, his gaze falling upon the boy every now and then, face solemn. "And their parents? They never say anything?"
A funny look flashed across Anzu's face as she spared him a glance before she shook her head, sighing quietly. "Of course not. They've been avoiding me ever since I brought it up. I know a lot of the village-folk think I ought to mind my own business, but..." She pursed her lips and shook her head. "It just isn't right. They all have their mothers and fathers. Ryoumen has no one to watch out for him."
The name alone had a chill spreading through Yuuji's veins like ice water, his pulse jumping for a moment. How strange it was to hear that name here when, in Yuuji's reality, Ryoumen was a monster - four-armed king curse, the demon's voice that taunted and whispered to him at every hour. How odd it was to hear it used for a young boy, one that Yuuji had tended to. Was tending to - reaching for the rag on his forehead to dip it again, get it refreshed and warm.
As he placed the rag back up on Ryoumen's forehead, Sosobo made her way back over to them with a bowl in hand, stirring its contents slowly. She was careful not to spill as she lowered herself to her knees, pausing her stirring momentarily to gently place the back of her hand against Ryoumen's right cheek. She hummed a soft approval before removing her hand to reach for the spoon.
"You'll want to wake up, Ryou," Sosobo said. Ryoumen groaned quietly, his eyes bleary as he blinked, eyes finding her face, roaming to Anzu's and then Yuuji's. He paused, their eyes catching for several long moments. Even in the low light, Yuuji could see it - his eyes. Light blue like they had hardly any pigment at all. The ones he wrote about in his journal. The kind no child should have.
Ryoumen was the first to break the contact. He winced slightly as he pushed himself to sit up, the rags falling from his forehead and chest flopping into his lap in one small, damp pile. He reached for the bowl and Sosobo handed it over without so much as a nasty look for the kid's bad manners. He settled the bowl in his hand, spoon combing through the broth for all the tofu. It couldn't have been his fault if there'd been no one to teach him, Yuuji knew it.
Rather than stare down the boy as he gulped down his meal, Anzu soon excused herself, claiming she had to get back to her house before her children began to fuss over her absence. Yuuji offered to walk her outside - he needed the fresh air anyway, a moment to assess whatever sort of strange tricks his mind was playing on him.
"Let me know if you need anything, Yuuji-kun," Anzu said as they stepped out into the night air, a nice breeze cooling down Yuuji's face. She paused a meter or so in front of Yuuji, the both of them listening to the quiet chip of some bush-dwelling cicadas. She seemed to hesitate before speaking, "If you'd really like to help with Ryoumen, you can't keep wandering off on your own for hours like that anymore."
Yuuji blinked, unsure of where that had come from or what to even say. "I don't really -"
"I mean it, Yuuji-kun. He needs somebody to care for him. I've got enough mouths to feed, and Sosobo wouldn't be able to protect him in the ways you could. Do you understand what I meant to say, Yuuji-kun?"
"Um," Yuuji swallowed, "I think so."
"Good," Anzu nodded, smiled in a way that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I just... worry for him, is all."
"I'll do my best," Yuuji assured, offering his own smile that hopefully seemed a little more genuine. However, Anzu only bade him good night before she turned on her heel, her geta tapping quietly against the road as she made her way back through the village in the direction of her own home.
Yuuji sighed, running his fingers through his hair, unsure what to do with all that he'd witnessed. He felt strange here, out of place - yet if anyone else noticed the strangeness of his very being here, they made no indication. It was as if Yuuji had been here before - not just in passing, or in disconnected episodes. A real life, with villagers who knew his name and a strange sort of kinship with these two strange women, even if the only thing tying them together was the strange child which may or may not have been his brain's version of some childish, pitiful version of Sukuna as if seeing him that way might've helped Yuuji's subconscious deal with his presence.
Whatever it was, Yuuji made the decision then and there that he'd be talking to Gojo about it when he woke up. If he even remembered by then.
Though his head had barely been cleared, Yuuji still turned back to the house, making his way inside where Ryoumen lay once again, though his eyes were open as he glanced towards the door. Sosobo had returned to the kitchen area of the space, putting together some herbs in a tea bag. She beckoned Yuuji over with a gesture of her hand.
"You've brought that boy to me twice already. That makes you responsible for him," she said, her voice quiet, discreet. "I can only do so much when he's in such a terrible state."
Yuuji nodded, glancing back at Ryoumen before his eyes sought out Sosobo's. "So I need to stop disappearing?" Easier said than done when Yuuji seemed to not have control over it; go to sleep here, wake up there.
"That's exactly right. You know, every morning I wake up and I wonder if Ryoumen will be found dead somewhere. Or lost. Tossed off into the river, like today," she paused, her lips pursed as if the words tasted bitter right on the base of her tongue. Then she turned, faced Yuuji, a not-quite smile on her face. "You're a good boy, Yuuji. Kind. Ryoumen deserves a bit of kindness."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Go on, then. His body is too weak - he'll rest here for now. You can come for him in the morning."
"Yes, ma'am," Yuuji repeated, dutiful. His eyes roamed toward the child laying on the opposite side of the room and knew he was listening.
With the okay from Sosobo, Yuuji made his way back over to the tatami mat where the child lay, lowering himself down to his haunches.
"I'll be back for you tomorrow, okay?" He didn't stop to think about it - what the promise meant, when tomorrow would come.
The boy didn't open his mouth, didn't make a sound - all eyes, this one.
"I swear it."