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When she finally disentangled herself from the hug, she noticed Carver’s cheeks had flushed a darker red, and covered her mouth in horror.
“It’s not offensive to give a human a hug, is it?”
The city was rather large, and rather scary, and Merrill still didn’t know her way around it.
Varric had given her a ball of yarn, to try and help her. But it ended up tearing and after an hour of wandering aimlessly around some part of the city (she wasn’t even sure which part- it all looked the same to her), she came to the firm conclusion she was lost. And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, it was getting dark and she was alone. Without her staff.
Not that she needed her staff to do magic, of course, but it was certainly helpful when she got attacked. She could use one end of the stick to hit anyone that got to close, and her free hand to throw fireballs at all the others. Regardless, she preferred it when Hawke or at least one of the others was around.
It was due to this fear being in her head, the one of being attacked in the middle of the night and the possibility of finding her death in some embarrassing manner such as walking into something, falling over and freezing to death (or something), that she inadvertently electrocuted someone who came up behind her. She turned with a squeak, only to see Carver twitching slightly, hair standing on end. She winced.
“Oh, Carver, I’m so sorry!” she said, leaning forwards to try and smooth down his hair. His face flushed slightly, presumably due to the fact he’d been hit with quite a lot of electricity, and she felt even worse. Eventually, though, he puffed up like some kind of bird that had had its’ pride hurt, and waved her off.
“Don’t worry about it. Bethany used to electrocute me all the time. I’m used to it,” he assured her, and she nodded even though she didn’t entirely believe him. He continued after a moment, however.
“I was just… I mean, you were out here alone. And I was wondering if you wanted me to walk you back. To your house, I mean. If you wanted…” he coughed, and she smiled widely, throwing her arms around him. She wasn’t going to die, not that night. Carver was, after all, a shemlen, and as such knew how to navigate their cities better than she could.
When she finally disentangled herself from the hug, she noticed Carver’s cheeks had flushed a darker red, and covered her mouth in horror.
“It’s not offensive to give a human a hug, is it?”
Carver choked slightly on his tongue, but eventually said ‘no’. She filed that in her mental notebook of ‘things it’s okay to say to the humans’, letting out a soft sigh. She kept worrying she was going to say something wrong, it seemed like every time she opened her mouth she embarrassed herself. Hawke and Isabela promised her it was ‘cute’, how she got so flustered over every word she said, but Hawke and Isabela found everything cute (or attractive).
She sighed and walked beside Carver. The silence was incredibly awkward (and he was still all red, she was beginning to worry he was coming down with something. She’d have to take him to Anders the next day, she figured), but she couldn’t even begin to think of how to break it. Eventually, Carver was the one to speak up.
“So. Uh. The city looks nice at night?” he phrased it like a question, and Merrill briefly frowned at it. Did humans know the difference between questions and stating things? Perhaps… it was the same thing to them? Did this mean she had to answer?
She nodded, “Yes, I suppose so. Easy to get lost in though. It’s so very big. Sometimes, I wish I could fit it all inside me! Where all the places are, I mean. Then I’d know where to go.”
He choked slightly. She turned around in alarm, and noticed that his mouth gaped open.
“Did I say something dirty?” she asked eventually, and he moved his head from side to side as if in assent.
“Let’s just… oh, thank the Maker Isabela isn’t here…”
“I thought Isabela was your friend too! I like Isabela. It isn’t nice to be happy people aren’t here.”
He just smiled fondly and said her name in that affectionate, mildly embarrassed way that all their friends had seemed to adopt.
It was then that she finally saw the vhenadahl, and grinned in relief. She was home. She turned to Carver, grabbing his hand, “Come inside for a few minutes. You have big sword, you’ll be alright by yourself if it gets dark. I’ll… I bought some tea yesterday! Do humans drink tea? I saw some humans buying tea… it will warm you up either way, it’s cold.”
He’d choked again at the mention of his sword, but he just nodded and followed behind her, into her house, and gratefully accepted the cup she offered up, sipping from it and shifting awkwardly in his seat. There was no conversation again, but neither broke it, and eventually he stood up, making his way to the door.
“Thank you…” he mumbled. He shifted, glancing from side to side, before leaning in and pulling her close, kissing her hard on the lips. As quickly as it had began, it ended, and he all but ran out of the door. Merrill, for her part, just stared at the door, before pressing her fingers to her lips.
She knew relationships with humans were bad, she was one of the People, if she ended up with a human she wouldn’t be preserving their heritage at all, nor would she be able to have elven children, which was what the Dalish had always wanted for her…
On the other hand, she supposed, she wasn’t technically Dalish any more, and she could help her People and be happy…
Perhaps getting lost again wouldn’t be so bad…
(Or perhaps, she decided later, she could just go and visit him- getting lost in Kirkwall was far too dangerous.)