Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Ok so you might be womnderring how the FREAK there is a squeakquel when Y/N litreweraly died last time.
y/n was so eggcited (its like being excited but with eggs) for school. Why tf is bingus happy for schiool??? Well i dont fucking know. jk its because y/n has a bitch/,. That bitch’ s name you may be wondering? f/n. (A/N: f/n stands for friend name if you were unaware) yeah dtas right. y/n can getty bitches! “Greetings my abhorrent liege.” omg!! ‘I could reconize that voice anywhere!!” thoughted y/n. (the voice was f/n btq if u coukldbnt tell.)
“You are looking extra devious today m’lord“ Wow! What a charmer! “Thanks slutcake! <3” sayes y/nin bonguses usual dumbass annoying bitch voice. f/n does a dubiously evil cackle. They decide to go to their first class of the day, math. “What? What the fuck is a maht?” F/N GAVE y/n a gopoofy look. B4 cackle agin “Hahahaa. This is why I swore allegiance to you.” y/n id dumb and stupid and doesnt realize other pppl actualllu know whyat math is.
F/N drags bongus into the class room by the limb with the fingerw -on it (if either your f/n or y/n has that) ant the two of them are met by DRACO MALFOW!? “Hi I’m draco. I’m new here.” He greets the two of them for some reason. “I’m 11-35 on the age scale btw.” He tucks his greasy ass looking hair behind his ear cutely. F/N stares at him like a cat stares at a wall, haws eyes unblinking. Y/N takes this moment to do y/n things. So of course bingus goes to flir- “Ew. Fucking blondie. Get out of my way asshole I’m tryin to get my hands on a math.” wh- HUH!? That is not flirting. Who is this?? This can’t be Y/n?? “Woah ok jeez. Ill leave then.” her promptly BUZZES OFF.
That was a good one hahahahaha. You got the fucker so good. It was like watchinh a live beheading ritual with the way you set him ablaze.Y/N blinked very very slowly as bingus tried to wrack bongus brain for what the fuck that meant. Coming up empty handed bingus just decided it sounded cool and taking it as a compliment. “Yeah, whatever the hell that meanes. I’m so cpool/”
When y/n walkeded inda da room. Bingus lookked round to figure out what the FUCK a matghh was. “Hey guys is math a type a drug. It sounmds like a drug. Does anyone got any” Badli from Baldis basic parkour obby looks uo from he fucking i-pad tablet math thingy HOLYS HIT HE ETACHES MATH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT anyways and cocks (ha ha cock) a brow. “What???? No. Stupid ass bithcs/” y/n stared sob becauyse bingus hates behind called a bitch evemn though bingus LITERALY IS ONE> F/n fucking hisses (because yee ia some fucking cat thing y (not changeable)) at the single haired specuimen, “HEY! Watch how you speak to our lord and savior, Y/N. If you say something like that again I'll rip out your intestines and use them as garland. HEY! Watch how you speak to our lord and savior, Y/N. If you say something like that again I'll rip out your intestines and use them as garland.”
̵̬̽”erm!! Well that just hjappened!! Awkward sauce!!! Im just gonna get back to sweet dance. “ sermed baldi. Who immediately started playing sweet dance (as he fortold)
Everyone in the room clapped. Everyone except for Victoria Vance (the villain fron superhero paw patrol moviue) becvause sheh really hater da phrase awkward sauccew (it reminds her of her parents mureder divorce) ok well anywhoodle, im gettin really bored of exposition or whatevs. And like. U already know who these bitches are so…..
Anywhoodle, the zombie apocalypse started.
Lol🤣
Zom,bie apocalypse 4 refernance ↓↓↓↓↓
Y/n jolted awake, bongus breathing heavy and bones weak with exhaustion. Damn, math was fuckin crazy. um!! cum cum. (ignore that btw)Or- bingus think it was anyways. Bingus can’t actually remember, which, should probably be concerning. But, this is Y/n we’re talking about and bingus never questions shit tbh.
bingus examned bongus surrounding witht he eyes on the back of bongus head (nonnegotiable) Turns out bingus was in the school’s underground dmv. FUCK!!. Y/n gstaad up on wobbly legs (if your y/n has legs) a grimace on bongus face. Bingus hated the fucking DMN!!! Ugh!! So, because there’s no one else in the dmv and it’s fucking borning, y/n leaves and goes upsateir. Bingus makes haste to fand another being before we die of bordem and smashes into glass!! “Owie moma What was that!” Bingus holalrs like a child given a laxative. “Damn bitches be crazy” says Jeff the carrier (he and draco were carrying glass btw) “who the fuck r u” “jeff the carrier.”- jeff the carrier (he carry thijnbg) Draco looks y/n up and down his eyes narroeinf in distaste “Oh. It’s you… You were a jackalope to me in math class.” what the actual fuck does that mean - jeff the carrier “TshT WAS A FUCKING CLASS?? I THUGHT IT WAS A DRUG” Yells y/n.
draco speaks in an alpha tone “mfer always b takin bout dreugs” he rolled wye. “dude why are you so jeff the outbof charcterL” saided jeff da carrier”. y/n usea this chanc e to resoond to jeff da carriess earlir question”erm! how do u mot know who i am?? im literly damost famous baddie ever. every1 lobees ms.” bingus fuckin loed btw. everyone still hayes bongusm. rightfully so. jeff the resoonse- “dude i still dont know who the fuck u r” y/m immediately calls him a jeff the slur. “fuck this man. im jeff the outta here.” he jeffs the says before jeff the hightailin it outta there to make room 4 better characters that u actually care about. draco tries leaving with jeff da carrier but because he didtn get enhugh screenvtime last time, hes forced by da narrative to stay. othereise known as: y/n yanks his leg and pulls him back b4 he could book it outtabthere as fast as he could. “Omg pls let go og mew” He whimpers like a pathetic little bitch.
“Naw.” Says y/n
“Anyway. Can you explain what’s happening? I woke up in the school DMV with the instinct to collect bitches.” Y/N asked, standing up on bongus feet- ignoring the concerning crunching coming from bongus bones “Oh did you not read page 4?” Draco seemed confused, ignoring the fact he was being a fucking lamo last page and acting like nothing happened. Y/N shook bongus head. “Oh. Well there’s an appocolayes. Shit. Apocalypse.” He explained to Y/N who apparently cannot read text. “Damn.” Y/N says. “Anywhoodle, do you wanna be my bitc-” Bingus gets cut off by Leon Scott Kenedy from Resident Evil runnning down the gacha life hall. (He made literally no noise btw) “Holy shit is tha Leonardy Good citizen???” Bigus gasps still not remembering his name from the first book.
Omg i forgot we could split the text up. Draco gave y/n a confuzzled look before getting body slammed into the ground by leonardy shit i mean leon scott kenedy from resident evil. “Oopsie lols” He apologizes cutely and y/n decided bingus ABSOLUTELY wanted a piece of that. So, putting on lipstick (somewher eon bongus body it doesn’t matter where) bigus grins “hey baby girl, you in the market for a biotch master by any chance?” Y/N asks with a concerning amount of rizz. “What the platyapussy!>!?@?” Leon and Draco speak at rhe same time, both concerned for their safety because Y/N was starting to appear kinda hot to them. What the fuckery was in that lipstick!?
Y/N then proceeds to wyf this isn’t comic sans. Y/N then proceeds to hack up a lung (not really, unless you want it to be /srs.) drawing even more concern from the two on the floor. “FucK!! Those gay pedople are back at it again with their plot to assassinate me.” Bingus scowls, remembering a certain white-faced smiling homo with a stupid hat and the blue-haired pronoun user. “Okay, well. R u 2 the only 1’s here because that other guy made a break for it like he committed a crime lik emurder or something lol.” A look gets exchanged (idk by who).
”i think we all have commited many a murdr considering the apoloypes“ saidedde leon scotteded kennendy. “SHTF Obout the stupid apocolipes!! I dont care your ding donguses” Y?n growled with a roll of bonhgus eyes. “Anwyas, we should grt you guys some bitch buddies.” Y/n decided assuming that Draco and Leonardy are now Bongus bitch. “So if you guys are the only ones here it seems we’ll have to venture out so you’re not lonely.” Bingus sayses, finally picking the two up off the ground (they never got up after leon tackled draco) Bingus grabs them aggressively by the neck in an affectionate way and tug them towards the conveniently placed front door, stepping carelessly on the glass pane that jeff and draco were carrying earlier that miraculously didn’t shatter on the ground.
“Wait what!? You’re making us go ut there??” Draco gestures towards the doors the doors the doors. Was this reader insert a fucking idoit!? Did bingus not hear about the zombies outside?? “Wait what the fuck doyou mean bitch buddies?? Since when were we your bitches??” Leonarday questioned, not remebering when they accepted the bitch certificate. Y/N promptly ignores both of them and tosses the mout the door.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” One of them hollars like a little bitch. Y/n steps on their spines cooly, because as a bitch master bigus can kinda just do whatevs. Bingus gazes at the rotting corpses filling the street, nose (if your y/n has a nose) crinkling. “Ew, who the fuck eats rice??” Bingus groans, turning bongus head away from the very normal bowl of rice that was laying on a nearby picnic table. Draco fucking sobs.
