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This book club was the best and the worst thing to happen to me. On one hand I had the meal of my life, but on the other hand I ended up in jail.
I sat down first, early as usual and waited patiently. I wondered what this meeting would be like given the content of the book we all read. An erotica called “The beauty and the beast” was not what I expected for our first meeting, a dirty play on the original story. Shortly after a hulking figure opened the door and stood in the doorway blocking the light.
“Well hello sir. What is your name?”
“Ghost.” He sounded British. He said nothing else, simply taking up the doorway. He was in a black t-shirt and black jeans with a skull mask covering his face.
Shortly after him came in another man for whom Ghost stood aside. The man walked over to the chair beside me and Ghost followed.
“Hello, I'm Soap, nice to meet you.” He spoke in an accent that I assumed to be Scottish.
“Hello, I'm Hannibal.” He reached out his hand and I shook it.
I sat back and waited in awkward silence before it was broken by the sound of giggling.
“No, book clubs are for old people!” A female voice rang out in the hallway.
“No, they're for nerds like you!” Another female voice spoke.
“Yeah, I mean what's the harm? I don't think you can get any less cool than you already are.” A male voice teased.
Finally the group came into view in the doorway. A curly haired girl came into view first being pushed by a tall blonde followed by a boy with glasses. The blonde girl spoke promptly.
“Does this club have room for one more?” Everyone already present in the room looked around at eachother before nodding. With that the blonde pushed the other girl into the room and ran away giggling with the boy.
“Uh, hi.” She seemed nervous. “So uh, what book are we reading?”
“The beauty and the beast.” Soap spoke.
“Oh, seems a little childish.”
“Not the original, just a rendition of the same name.” Said Soap.
Ghost walked over to an extra chair in the corner of the room and dragged it to the spot beside me in the circle before sitting back down in his seat beside Soap. The girl nervously sat down and the room sat in silence for a few moments.
“Shall we start?” I decided to break the silence. “Ghost, what did you think of the book?”
“I thought it was inspired, classy, and all around a pleasant experience. Not crass as others I've read, in a word, art.” He spoke, more than I'd expected him to.
“Well I thought it was boring. I mean there wasn't any fighting or excitement and the sex scenes were just plain, all slow and stuff like where's the fun. The author is probably some twat who thinks he's better than everyone.” Soap said. I think that tells me all I need to know about this guy, I thought. Meanwhile the girl was getting visibly uncomfortable.
“It's artistic, it's called romance if you've ever heard of it.” I said.
“Hey! I know lots about romance.” He looked over to Ghost before looking back at me, now with anger.
“Calm down. Listen, I'm sorry the book isn't about fast and dirty and it actually involves some intelligence to comprehend.”
“I am intelligent.” He looked like he might punch me at any moment but I decided to keep pushing.
“I never said you aren't. All I'm trying to say is that clearly you fuck like a jackhammer in heat and that's not the author's fault.”
“Oh don't you insult my sexual prowess. I could make you scream, boy, don't even.”
“Is that so?” Will got hit by that ice cream truck over a year ago(my bad), he'd want me to move on I thought.
“Oh yeah, and me and Ghost over here could do things you would never imagine. We could make you feel things you didn't think were possible.” The girl in the corner looked distressed.
“That's some big talk and no show.”
“Oh what, you want me to fuck you right now or something?”
“Well I wouldn't say no.” There was a moment of staring into eachothers eyes and building sexual tension before jumping at each other, colliding mid-air and dropping to the ground, Soap on top of me. The girl finally took this as her cue that there was probably no more book reading to be had and left.
me and Soap began kissing before Ghost swooped in and started continuing where I left off. Soap began unbuttoning his pants and motioning for me to get down with it. I obliged and helped him get his pants down. Once it was available I began engaging in some glizzy gulping. I continued sucking and feeling his body react before getting an unavoidable urge to clamp down. I tried to ignore it but it became uncontrollable and without even wanting to, my jaw clamped down.
I was immediately enraptured by the most delectable taste I've ever tasted. I had never had meat like this before, especially not raw. It had an immaculate umami hit, I am simply unable to describe such a flavour. At the same time my face got drenched in a spew of blood. Soap stumbled back and fell to the ground. Suddenly I heard footsteps and the door opening.
“Hey I think I forgot my pho- WHAT THE FUCK!!!” The girl screamed.
“Oh sorry, didn't think you'd be back.”
“You did this!?”
“Well I can't very well deny it” I motioned to my blood covered face.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She queried.
“I mean I am Hannibal Lecter so…” I stated
“YOU'RE HANNIBAL LECTER???”
“Well yes. I'm assuming you're from Baltimore if you're reacting like that?” She nodded in disbelief. She seemed to regain a bit of sense and ran out of the room. I just about pounced on Soap to get another bite but I was stopped and quickly restrained by Ghost. He held me down and looked into my eyes with intense anger, like he was restraining himself from killing me, I felt his grip tighten. We stayed like that for some minutes while Soap moaned in pain and bled on the carpet.
Suddenly I heard police sirens. Before I knew it we were being swarmed by cops. They restrained me without any resistance and brought me to jail. I now write this from my cell awaiting trial and if I'm being honest I don't know if I regret what I did. After I went on the run I knew this would happen one day and at least now I got a tasty last meal.