Chapter Text
In retrospect, it had been a terrible idea.
It was a breezy Wednesday afternoon, one of the rare occasions Yusuke decided to attend school. The sun warmed his face pleasantly, and the gentle breeze swept past just strong enough to be refreshing. Any other person would have found it a nice day to kick back and relax. To enjoy the daylight and smell the roses. Any person but Yusuke, of course, because sniffing flowers and frolicking through fields was never really his thing. No, not at all.
In fact, it didn’t take a genius to see that such tranquility left the young spirit detective rather bored. He scanned the area sluggishly, desperate to find something to kill time with on the rooftop he lazed upon until his gaze landed on Kuwabara squatting across from him, quietly eating his lunch.
Kuwabara had his qualms about sitting on the railing, unlike Yusuke, who was perched atop it like a bird, as if he weren’t a few short inches away from splattering onto the pavement below. The redhead had repeatedly chastised him for this habit, screeching incessantly about how he’d better be careful before he died a second time. Yusuke would laugh and say that if he did fall, he’d just ask Koenma for a favor in exchange for all his hard work and then resurrect again. Now granted, he didn’t fully believe that would work, but… Hey, who knows? Coming back from the dead would certainly be more eventful than this, anyhow.
Spending so much time in Demon World had caused regular life to feel increasingly mundane, leaving Yusuke bored to tears on a day as peaceful as this one. He stretched his body out with an obnoxiously loud yawn, only semi-purposefully sparking Kuwabara’s annoyance. “Pipe down, will ya? Some people are tryna eat.” He griped, taking a long sip of his water.
“You ever kissed someone before?”
Kuwabara choked and gave an almost comical spit-take, doubling over and violently hacking up his drink. He swerved his head to gawk at Yusuke, who laughed openly at the other teen’s misfortune. “Where the heck did that come from!?” Kuwabara squealed between wet sputters and wheezes, beating on his chest in a poor attempt to clear his lungs.
“It’s just a question! No need to get so worked up.” Yusuke jeered. “Figured since you never shut up about Yukina, you’d at least made it to first base.”
Kuwabara’s ire rose at the jab, predictably. “Lay off her, Urameshi! She’s a pure, delicate lady. I’d never ask her for something like that, and I won’t tolerate you talking all gross about her—!” He roared with righteous fury before cutting himself off with another cough.
“So, you haven’t?” Yusuke asked with a snark. Kuwabara’s jaw snapped shut, his face scorching red with shame. The teen stared down at his lap, suddenly more content to twiddle his thumbs than shout.
Bingo. Yusuke grinned wolfishly. “Yeah, that checks out. Figured a guy like you wouldn’t have much going on.” He mocked, expecting Kuwabara to shout his protests once again. A rebuttal never came, though. Instead, Yusuke watched his usually bold and overconfident rival shrink into himself, pointedly avoiding his gaze.
Yusuke crossed his arms with a huff. “You don’t gotta act so ashamed, man. It's not a good look on you.” He furrowed his brows in frustration as Kuwabara mumbled some lame excuse, toying with the fraying hems of his sleeves. The boy stammered, “I just… I want it to be special, y'know? Gotta wait for the right moment. I've never done something like that before, so… I-I don’t want her to have a bad time, I guess.”
Then, a truly cataclysmic event occurred; Yusuke got an idea.
“I could teach you.”
“…What?”
“I said I could teach you. Keiko and I kissed back when I got resurrected, so I’ve got experience.” Yusuke said, far more confident than he had any right to be. Kuwabara made a simultaneously infuriated and embarrassed noise in the back of his throat before shrieking like a banshee, “That doesn’t friggin’ count!”
“It totally does! You’re just sore cuz girls won't even touch you.” Yusuke jeered, to which the other teen crossed his arms and leaned in with a glare, clearly miffed. “Yukina likes me.” He pouted.
Yusuke cocked his brow, clearly doubtful but not saying anything, unwilling to actually hurt the other's feelings. “Look, you wanna get good at kissing, right?” Hesitantly, Kuwabara nodded.
“Then you gotta practice.” He asserted his claim as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“But ain’t that weird? I mean, we’re both guys.” Kuwabara’s weak counter held little power behind it. Yusuke was quick to retort. “It’s only weird if you make it weird!”
“Girls kiss all the time, and no one cares about that, so why should it be any different here?" The detective reasoned. "Besides, it’s just practice! It doesn’t count!”
Kuwabara remained skeptical of the other's strange schoolyard logic. “But how’s it being practice make it any different from regular kissing?”
Yusuke raised a brow. “Are you into guys?”
“No.”
“Are you into me?”
Kuwabara took a pause. “No.”
“Then there you go!”
Kuwabara gnawed on his bottom lip, clearly weighing his options. After a moment of deliberation, it looked like he had come to a conclusion, with how his cheeks turned rosy again, and he got that look of hardened determination in his eyes. The one that made Yusuke’s stomach bubble with excitement. The redhead glanced up at his friend and cleared his throat. “I mean… if you say so.”
Yusuke’s face broke into a large grin as he hopped down from his spot on the railing, plopping in front of Kuwabara and kicking his lunch aside haphazardly. Kuwabara protested this, quickly ensuring all his food was still securely in his bento box before looking back at Yusuke. He blinked at the taller teen expectantly, thrumming his hands against his knees.
After a bit of staring, Kuwabara fluttered with nerves. “Wh— Now?!” Yusuke laughed at his reaction, thoroughly amused. “Yeah, now! When else?”
“I–!...” His head jerked around, prompting Yusuke to scan the area as well. As far as he could tell, no one else was milling about. It was just the two of them sitting on the rooftop together. Alone.
He watched Kuwabara gulp out of the corner of his eye.
“What’s wrong? You getting cold feet?” Yusuke teased, reveling in the feeling of pushing his rival's buttons. He beamed in delight as the other boy rose to his challenge, as he always did, making his gut fill with those warm butterflies again. From the excitement of a fight, of course. Nothing more.
“Shut your trap, Urameshi! I’m thinking!” He roared, leaning forward and gritting his teeth. Yusuke responded in kind, snarling with his nose just inches away from Kuwabara’s. “Sure you are! Last time I checked, there was nothing but hot air up there!" The detective sneered.
Kuwabara growled. “I’ll show you hot air!”
“Then do it! Show me how it’s done.” Yusuke jeered. His eyes flicked down to his rival’s lips, thin and chapped but still tempting, “Kiss me.”
Kuwabara’s face burst into flame as he processed how close they were, faces mere inches apart. In the same way that Kuwabara's cheap cologne clung to his uniform, Yusuke knew the redhead could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath. He wasn’t sure if it was because of their proximity, or the eye-watering degree to which Kuwabara drowned himself in that stupid perfume, but Yusuke swore he could feel his head swimming. From the dazed look on the his face, Yusuke could only guess his rival felt similarly. “...I’ve gotta stop lettin’ you talk me into stuff like this,” Kuwabara mumbled.
He felt large, calloused hands tremble against the nape of his neck. Kuwabara’s touch was gentle, like Yusuke would vanish into a cloud of smoke if he weren't careful. He breathed shakily against Yusuke’s lips, the remnants of its warmth leaving a tingling feeling behind.
Chuckling low in his throat, he cupped Kuwabara’s cheek, using his free hand to pull the other boy forward by the collar just slightly. “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat, doofus. I don’t bite.”
“Shut up, Urameshi…” The other boy breathed out in reply. Yusuke could feel his rival’s gaze burning on his lips, not that he was doing much better. Perhaps because of performance anxiety, Yusuke suddenly became afflicted with some of the worst cottonmouth he'd ever experienced. He could feel his breath catching in his throat, impatience growing with each eager tap of his foot as he waited anxiously for Kuwabara to make a move.
Finally, fucking finally, Kuwabara started to lean in, eyes fluttering shut as he threw away his inhibitions. Yusuke tilted his head to the side, eager to close the gap as his heart pounded in his ears. The scent of Kuwabara’s cologne grew stronger, stinging his nose and leaving him faint.
Uncharacteristically vulnerable, Yusuke barely resisted the urge to collapse into his arms, broad and safe and oh so devoted, so wonderfully kind but lit aflame with a fiery resolve, and god, if that idiot didn't close the gap between them right goddamn now–
The door to the roof clicked open.
The pair leaped away from each other, hands rocketing to their sides as if burned. The boy who walked through (whom Yusuke made a mental note to strangle later) initially paid them no mind, listening to music on his Walkman without care.
He glanced over toward the commotion, yelping with terror as he caught sight of Yusuke's absolutely homicidal death glare. He scrambled off from where he came, possibly to skip town for fear of his life after angering The Great Urameshi. Yusuke turned back to Kuwabara with a frustrated grump, "Jeez... What an ass, right?"
Surprisingly, he found Kuwabara frozen in place, with eyes blown wide and unblinking. His chest rose and fell quickly with labored breaths, cheeks aflame with a red as bright as his hair. The teen looked like a deer in headlights, practically pinning himself against the wall as he stared at Yusuke with a petrified expression.
Yusuke approached his rival in confusion, only for him to flinch away. Kuwabara's eyes quickly darted between Yusuke's eyes and lips, heart caught in his throat. He sputtered out a weak "I--" before being cut off by the shrill ring of the school bell, marking the end of the period.
Unsure what to say, Yusuke stared blankly, mouth opening and closing repeatedly like a dumb fish. Kuwabara quickly went to stand up, closing his bento and shoving it unceremoniously into his book bag. After muttering some more excuses, he executed his escape. For the first time since they’d met, Yusuke saw Kuwabara run away with his tail between his legs.
Yusuke watched him go with a stupid expression, rooted to the spot. Before he could even think to stop the other boy, the exit doors had already closed behind Kuwabara. There he sat, alone and dumbfounded, with only one thing on his mind.
“Shit.”
————
“And you haven’t spoken since?” Kurama inquired.
Two weeks had gone by since the incident with Kuwabara on the roof. He hadn't been able to get hair or hide from his rival since then, leaving Yusuke at his wit's end. Why this was the case was beyond the detective. Knowing Kuwabara, Yusuke figured it had something to do with feeling embarrassed about getting caught almost swapping spit with another dude-- Which, he should add, was stupid because it's not like they were gonna use tongue or anything. It was purely an educational activity, he would argue, and nothing more. Just guys helping guys.
Alas, said educational activity had led him here, sitting across from Kurama at a cafe so he could spill his guts out to the brightest person he knew. Kurama's gaze was filled with great pity as he listened to his friend's woes, his expression otherwise unreadable.
"Every time I try to talk to him, fight him, or even just approach the guy, he shrinks away and runs off like I've got the clap or somethin'," Yusuke complained.
"The cl...? I'm sorry, but I don't believe that's how Gonorrhea--" Kurama began before being rudely interrupted. "Two weeks, Kurama! Two weeks of the same bullshit, all because of his stupid pride!" He cried, temper boiling over.
“I severely doubt that pride—” Kurama tried again.
“It’s driving me up the wall!” Yusuke shouted over him, standing up and banging his fists on the table. The silverware rattled with force, making those around him eye the pair with increasing concern.
“Yusuke!”
That finally got his attention.
Kurama cast apologetic glances at the other patrons who had been given the misfortune of dining at the same time as them. “I understand you’re frustrated, but if you keep yelling like that, we’ll get kicked out!”
The boy sighed as Yusuke plopped back down on his seat, crossing his arms and pouting. “So, I take it that talking with Kuwabara isn’t exactly in the cards right now?"
Yusuke shook his head. “Like I said, he just runs off to go, like, walk his fish or something.”
“And you’ve exhausted all alternative methods?” Kurama exhaled. Yusuke nodded in return.
Kurama thumbed the rim of his cup, deep in thought. “If that’s the case, perhaps the best course of action is to put yourselves in a situation where he can’t run?” He suggested before muttering to himself. “Though on second thought, maybe that would scare him away…”
He tittered on for a while, less to his friend and more to himself. The longer he muttered, the more Yusuke's impatience reared its ugly head. Thrumming his fingers against the table, the detective barely bit back the urge to snap his friend to “Spit it out, dammit!”
“Have you considered asking what’s troubling him?” Kurama finally suggested. “You got leaves in your ears, man? I just said he won’t talk to me.” Yusuke scoffed. “Besides, what’s there to ask? ‘Hey buddy, why do you keep acting like a weirdo every time I try to talk to you?’”
“Maybe I should rephrase-- I mean, have you asked yourself why Kuwabara might be feeling this way? It may give you some insight into the root of this behavior.” Kurama clarified, his patience ironclad.
Yusuke considered the notion for a good, long moment. After tapping his chin with his forefinger seriously, he finally came to a conclusion. “Why would asking myself something tell me why he's acting weird? You’re startin’ to sound like the old lady…”
Kurama deflated, heaving a defeated sigh as he sipped his tea. “Nevermind…” Yusuke was about to ditch his friend, probably run off to the arcade and dick around there for a few hours, when Kurama proposed another question, one much harder to answer.
“If you don’t mind me asking, I’d like to know why you asked me specifically to aid you in this particular crisis.” He asked, to which the detective responded quickly. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious: You’re the smartest guy I know. Of course, I’d go to you.”
“Flattering as that notion is, I’m not exactly the easiest to get a hold of— Wouldn’t it have been simpler to ask someone else, your friend Keiko, for instance?”
Yusuke’s eyes drifted off at the mention of the girl’s name. He kicked his legs back, leaning back into his chair in a poor imitation of a casual, laissez-faire attitude.
“It’s, ah, a guy thing.” He sniffed, trying his best not to look awkward. “She wouldn’t get it.”
Keiko was the last person he could come to about this. Not because he had anything to hide, of course. She just… It was different with her.
Against his better judgment, Yusuke wondered what would’ve happened if it had been Keiko who’d walked in on them that day. Kurama seemed to notice his friend's unease at the subject and, thankfully, didn’t push further.
After that, the topic of conversation quickly shifted to far more mundane things, but Kurama’s words still stuck with Yusuke. They followed him home and into his shower, left alone to stew on his confidant’s words of wisdom.
Yusuke couldn't quite explain what about bathing made his thoughts so much more coherent, only that the steady beat of warm water on his back provided more clarity than any therapist ever could.
Probably. He'd never been, so he wouldn't know.
Eventually, his mind drifted to the time he’d spent with Kuwabara. He thought of street fights and sacrifice. He thought of playful banter and explosive arguments. He thought of when he’d seen Kuwabara before all this, on a lazy Saturday night.
They'd been playing Mario Kart. Yusuke recalled berating the taller boy for cheating his way to victory, refusing to accept the loss he had been served. His rival only laughed, shoving the detective and his taunts aside as he teased him for being bad at the game. Kuwabara's bicep had been pressed snugly against his as the pair of teens swatted at each other's controllers in a juvenile mockery of strategy. Even as their eyelids weighed like lead and their reflexes turned slow as molasses, they continued to play well into the night.
At the end of their last round, Kuwabara claimed his second victory. Yusuke had pouted and cursed, accusing his friend of cheating once more (which, for the record, he totally had) when Kuwabara waggled his finger at him.
“Don’t get pissy just cuz I’m better than you!” He’d laughed, clearly proud of himself and happy to pretend he was the mature one. Yusuke sputtered the beginnings of various insults and curses, but every last one died on its way out, the boy utterly unable to think of a good comeback. Upon this realization, the teen decided to let his fists do the talking.
The two wrestled on the floor for a bit, thrashing about with little concern for the noise they created. As they fought, their fury slowly washed away as their respective love for roughhousing got the better of them, morphing into more of a fun game rather than a genuine brawl.
Eventually, they collapsed onto each other in an exhausted heap, subdued into a fit of giggles. Yusuke draped himself atop Kuwabara’s torso like a cat on a sunny windowsill as his friend came down from their spat, watching the redhead with an affectionate gaze. They lay together in comfortable silence for a bit before Yusuke spoke up.
“You're still a dirty cheater.” He teased, the accusatory words betrayed by his playful smile. Kuwabara jabbed his finger into Yusuke’s forehead. “Whatever, jerk. You’re just mad cuz you lost.” He giggled, and it dawned on Yusuke just how much he loved the sound. He loved his eyes, too, how they gleamed with joy and competitive drive as he stared at Yusuke like he was the center of his universe.
He adored how they crinkled when he squeezed them shut, grinning wide as his shoulders shook with boisterous laughter. Kuwabara’s heart thumped loudly beneath Yusuke's palms, chest moving up and down with each ragged breath he took. He had the strangest desire to pull the redhead closer, to feel that thundering heartbeat against his.
Back at the cafe, Yusuke supposed he had fibbed just a little bit. He actually had gotten close to talking to Kuwabara a few times, having taken it upon himself to corner the other and demand answers. Only whenever he got Kuwabara right where he’d wanted him, Yusuke could never bring himself to speak. He’d stand there dumbly for however long he could bear it, searching for the right words to say and coming up empty every single time.
It may have been the look in Kuwabara’s eyes, his emotions laid so plainly out to see. His expression was always the same, so vulnerable and, he daresay, almost frightened. It killed Yusuke to see him like that, so pathetic and stripped of his pride.
A part of him had the impulse to grab Kuwabara by the shoulders and shake him around as hard as he could. He wanted to smack his rival like a broken TV remote until Kuwabara finally swung at him, and everything returned to normal.
But another part of Yusuke, one far more tender and shoved into the deepest recesses of his consciousness, would always stop him. It was the part of him that yearned to gingerly take Kuwabara’s face into his palms again, to thumb along the edges of his sharp cheekbones and rub away the fear in his expression.
It was a longing he'd always had somewhere deep down but never noticed before, foreign and novel in a way that made his palms sweat. Thus, he would do neither, stuck in choice paralysis until he or Kuwabara backed away. That tender desire never faded, though, constantly at war with his basic impulses and filling his stomach with gooey, warm feelings that made his skin crawl.
It was new, and that fact alone was terrifying, but he couldn't fight the urge to chase that feeling, sugar-sweet and dangerous.
…
On second thought, maybe that kissing idea wasn’t as out of nowhere as he initially assumed.