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Water swirls around you, dark and cold and silent. The satin of your nightgown and robe twists around your legs, constricting your movement. You thrash against it, disoriented, the muffled sounds of yelling and muzzle flashes barely registering. The moon isn’t out, so you have no north star to salvation, spinning to find the edge of the water. Finally, you find the surface, breaking through with a deep gasp, choking out the water from your lungs as best as you can.
When you open your eyes, the sight before you makes you scream.
Flames lick the roof of your house from the shattered window of the nursery. The other half of the house is already charred and crumbling.
You hear noises coming around the side of the house, through the garden gate. A shout. Breaking glass. Three gunshots, one first and then a pause followed by two more in rapid succession. Chan comes into view, eyes frantic, face drained of color as he finds you. You think he shouts your name, running toward you. He’s in the pool, wrapping his arms around you, before you can process.
“Shh, baby, I’m here, I’m here. It’s okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you.”
His hands tremble, but his voice never wavers. He leads you to the stairs, pulling you up and out of the water as a few more people run in through the garden gate behind him. You vaguely recognize Changbin as one of them.
“What happened?”
“She was in the water, screaming. I don’t know how she got there.” Chan says to him, pressing your head to his chest, hand covering your ear. “Has anyone found the little girl?”
You claw at Chan’s arm. “She’s not here.”
“What?”
“Lily, my- my daughter. She’s with my parents tonight.” Your throat is hoarse, but you look up at him in horror. “Oh my god, she’s not here.”
He brings his hands up to cradle your face as you break down in tears. “Hey, she’s safe, okay? It’s alright, nothing happened.” He kisses your forehead as you weep, wrapping his arms back around you. You vaguely notice someone wrap you both in a blanket.
“We’ve got to clear out, fire rescue needs to take care of the house.” Changbin says, and Chan guides you out of the backyard, through the garden gate. Some of your neighbors have come out of their homes to watch the spectacle of sirens and squad cars.
Chan shields your eyes from the flashing reds and blues, guiding you to the back of an awaiting ambulance. He holds your hand as the paramedics check your pulse and blood pressure. An older officer you don’t recognize walks up, nodding at Chan, who bows his head in return.
“Mrs. Wu-”
“Don’t- don’t call me that, please.” You choke out, catching him off guard. He glances over at Chan, who shrugs, and then down to your joined hands. “It’s not my name, it’s never been my name.”
He clears his throat. “Ma’am, I regret to inform you that your husband has been pronounced dead.”
Your eyes snap to his, wide. “What?!”
“The suspect shot at Officer Yang, and Sergeant Seo returned fire. The suspect did not survive.”
“Oh. I-is Jeongin okay?” Your voice trembles, and Chan squeezes your hand.
The older officer softens, giving you a small smile. “Yes. Your husband was a lousy shot. Officer Yang was only grazed, a surface wound that won’t even get him desk duty to recover.” He pulls out a spiral top notepad. “Can you tell me what happened, from your perspective?”
You shake your head briefly, staring at the ground as you try to remember. “Uh. Chris came home upset, he was slamming doors. I called my mom, she picked up Lily after dinner. Chris ate in his office alone- actually I don’t even know if he ate, but I brought him food.” You swallow, glancing at Chan. He tilts his head, encouraging you to continue.
“What happened between then and now? How did you end up in your pool?” The officer asks, scribbling some notes.
“I was cleaning up from dinner when Chris stormed out of his office. He cornered me in the kitchen, accusing me of setting the police on his trail. He said the audit was going to ruin him, discredit his reputation. He-” you glance over at Chan again, clearing your throat, “-he, um, he hit me a few times until I apologized, confessing that I went to the station.” Chan makes a strangled noise and you feel his hand tense. You graze your thumb over the back of it to soothe him.
“We don’t have any official statements from you.”
“I know. I-I just said what he wanted to hear. He backed away long enough for me to grab my phone. I called Chan, but I dropped my phone in the fruit bowl on the counter so Chris wouldn’t see it. I ran. He chased me. He caught me outside, at the edge of the pool.”
“He pushed you in?”
“He was, uh, he choked me. Once he heard the sirens, he let go, and I fell into the water. I think if he hadn’t heard the sirens, he would have killed me.” The last part comes out in a whisper, tears streaming down your face silently.
“I’m so sorry, ma’am. Did he have a history of violence toward you?”
You shake your head. “Not toward me. I’m not stupid- I knew what he was capable of. But he was always so distant with me that I thought I was safe.”
The officer jots some more things down in his notepad with a nod before tucking it away. “Thank you for your time. I’m glad you’re safe now.” He sends a look to Chan. “Bang, Captain wants to see you first thing Monday morning.”
Chan nods silently, and then the officer is excusing himself. You turn to look at him, as if seeing him for the first time tonight. “Why aren’t you in uniform like everyone else?”
He scratches the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “That’s not important right now.”
“Channie.” You tug him closer, the paramedics having given you medical clearance just moments ago.
He steps in front of you, looking down and moving a wet lock of hair from your forehead. “I might have gotten put on leave.”
“Why?”
“Something about being too invested in the case against your husband.” His thumb brushes your cheek, and your eyes flutter closed. “I told you I’d get you out, babygirl. I’m sorry it took so long. I'm sorry he hurt you.”
You shake your head. “I’m okay. Like that officer said, I’m safe now. You came for me, even after six months of silence.”
His hand cups your jaw to keep your eyes on his. “I’ll always come for you.”
You grab his hand, pulling it down to place it against your swollen stomach. His eyes widen, glancing down at your now-obvious bump, smooth under the wet satin of your nightclothes. “You were right that night. About everything.”
“Is-is it-”
“It’s yours, Channie. It’s your son.”
A myriad of emotions run across his face before he shakes his head, hand circling to your waist. He drops his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. “Please come home with me, come back home.”
“I’m sorry I ever left.” You cradle his face with both hands, pulling away to look him in the eyes. “It wasn’t you. I ha- Chris threatened my parents, so I made a deal with him. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth.”
“I don’t care anymore. Just let me have you back.” Chan leans forward to brush his lips over yours. When he straightens, you shiver. He pulls the blanket tighter, rubbing his hands over your arms. “We’ve got to get you out of these wet clothes.”
“I have most of my wardrobe at my parents’ house. They knew I was trying to find a way out, they’ve been storing things for me.” You smile softly at him. “Do you want to go meet your daughter?”
His breath hitches, eyes wide as he shakes his head in disbelief. “I literally never thought you’d ask.”