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"I feel like I sacrificed my freedom."
"I understand the feeling."
Char chuckled, "yeah, I bet you do."
Their glasses came together in a sharp clink, and their gazes found each other. Finally a well-deserved moment of calm — most probably before the storm — in which the two men could reach deeply into each other's souls.
Words weren't enough, small touches were only sparkles compared to the great ignition of the battlefield. Seven years had gone by... the two men had lived in very different ways. While Char's turmoil could only be sedated by constantly working and fighting, Amuro had found other ways to satiate his hunger.
Amuro felt like he wasn't born to be a lover, rather, a temporary escape; it was fine by him. He didn't feel like settling down or chaining himself to someone; perhaps for that reason, Amuro felt drawn to promises of carnal pleasure and sexual gratification. He rarely felt appreciated in the same way outside of his bedroom; soft hands, stroking and sliding, wet sounds and a blank mind could easily get him back on his feet. The people that touched Amuro Ray were often gentle, as if admiring a work of art, afraid to stain it or break it. But Amuro wasn't weak or pure, and something was awakening in his stomach, howling like an angry dog.
Char was much less experienced; he used to refuse physical — as well as emotional — contact, and the idea of letting someone see him so vulnerable was terrifying. Afraid that he could let his fragile façade fall, he kept his needs and worries to himself. Everything about sexuality was a grey zone for him, mostly uncomfortable. He only acted on his needs by himself for convenience. After some time he realised himself that he felt guilty at the idea of experiencing pleasure; still, he was level-headed enough to understand that it's part of a human being, and it cannot be discarded. Even so, Char never considered it as something to quench his hunger.
It had taken some time for Amuro to realise that his hunger had gotten worse since that one meeting. Char, his fated rival and companion, was admired and despised, especially deep into the nights in which Amuro felt helpless and vulnerable, his bedsheets wet and mind elsewhere.
There was something between them. Everyone could tell they were magnets constantly attracted to each other.
"You're different with Char Aznable lately," Kamille told Amuro that night.
"You think?"
"Disgustingly so, by the way."
Amuro laughed. The boy wasn't exactly wrong; he was slowly getting closer to the other man, constantly filling up his personal space and testing his limits. The issue? There seemed to be no limits to what Amuro (and only Amuro) could do to him, which both scared and excited him.
"Don't you have Beltorchika?"
"Kamille, since when—"
"I don't. I don't care. Just get this over with, I can't bear to feel any more of you guys' tormenting thoughts!"
And so, Amuro felt like that night could be the right one.
The clink of the glasses resonated in the empty hallway as they smiled at each other. Amuro was standing so close to Char, shoulders touching and faces a few inches apart. The blonde took a sip of his drink, eyes still focused on the other man, and so did Amuro.
"Isn't this... somehow the night before the sacrifice?" said Amuro, lost in thought.
"Well, technically, I've already given away my freedom, but it's true we're, well, celebrating right now."
"How about you let go for a while? Be yourself. It can be just me and you if you'd like. I know you, after all."
Char brought scotch to his lips again, as if to drink liquid courage, "I... am always true to myself, Amuro."
"You know that's not what I'm saying. Listen..." Amuro fidgeted with his glass, suddenly unsure at the lack of response from Char, "don't you also feel a hunger gnawing at your insides?"
Char knew it well. He let Amuro speak.
"I feel that way on the battlefield, right before I'm about to take an enemy down. Or whenever I'm standing still, feeling impatient to jump into battle. Or... well, whenever I think about you."
Char didn't want to acknowledge that feeling — he thought maybe, just maybe, he could ignore it if he never addressed it. His admiration and interest towards Amuro Ray had twisted into a macabre dance of lust and need to be eaten alive. At that point, love was even too weak of a word.
Char gulped. He was choking on embarrassment, guilt, need and desperation. He thought he wouldn't stoop so low, he wouldn't desire the flesh of his friend no more than the heart... but oh, how he wanted Amuro to reach down his ribcage and yank his heart out. Char wanted to scream it's yours, all of my organs are yours, my bones, my muscles, my veins, i'm yours, inside out. His feelings burst, thoughts embarrassingly clear to all newtypes in the room next door. His face was rigid but his pupils dilated, finally letting himself indulge in desire.
"There we go..." murmured Amuro.
"Amuro, I— I really can't."
"You can feel it, right? This is you, all of you, pouring out. Be mine for tonight, Char."
But I've always been yours, Char thought as Amuro guided him to his room by the hand.
The first and last night of freedom, together. Char didn't like the sound of that; worry was eating him alive. Am I good enough? Am I allowed to feel good? Isn't it deplorable to have impure thoughts about a friend? Is this really what was missing between us?
The final battle had to happen in space, which meant Amuro wouldn't be there with him, next to him; were they really destined to just share that one night together?
The two men silently walked down halls until they reached a bedroom Amuro said he was currently using. The room was plain, with barely anything proving someone was living there. Char realised Amuro must spend most of his nights at Beltorchika's place.
Amuro took off his leather jacket and left it on a chair before sitting on the bed, legs spread and inviting.
"Amuro—"
"Please, Char. I'm tired of lying to myself. At least for tonight, let us indulge in our needs. From tomorrow, we'll go back to normal."
Char averted his gaze and pondered.
"Quattro. Look at me," Char turned his head towards the other man just to catch him taking off his turtleneck, "don't you want me? Come and take me."
Char's resolve easily crumbled under the other man's hunger; finally he understood what his soul was grumbling about, what his stomach was craving and what his blood was boiling for. It was always Amuro Ray, always the white devil he wanted to be torn apart by.
Char kneeled between the devil's legs, ready to be crushed, choked, and eaten alive. The devil grinned and looked down on him; Amuro felt superior to anyone in that moment. The red comet was submitting to him, and him only — Char had sold his soul to the devil.
Amuro gently slid the blue jacked off of Char's shoulders, and let it fall before calmly undoing his necktie. Char did not make a sound, but his pupils were blown wide.
A clink echoed in the room as Amuro unbuckled his belt and lowered his pants. In a second, Char shoved his head on the other's crotch and inhaled.
"Sorry, I didn't have time to take a shower."
"It's fine, ahh, it's good," Char breathed harshly on Amuro's clothed member and left open mouthed kisses along the length. Amuro's scent was strong and musky, just what Char expected.
"Desperate, are we? To think that you were hesitant..."
Char whined with a frustrated expression, "come on, just take them off..."
Despite wanting to tease him a bit more, Amuro easily complied; his cock sprung free of its tight confines. It arched back and the tip reached Amuro's bellybutton; it was a girthy dick, it would've surely split the blonde open. The devil teased Char's cheek with it, smearing precum all over his face.
"Open your mouth."
Char obeyed. The wet member easily slid inside his waiting cavity, filling him up to the brim. His throat clenched around the length until its shape was changed to accommodate the devil. Char's nose reached Amuro's navel and buried itself in the dark, curly hairs of his pelvis.
"Fuck, Char, how did you learn that?"
The man simply looked up at the other, eyes lidded and damp, and started bobbing his head.
"Shit, so good..."
Amuro grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and pulled Char away from his cock before standing up.
"I'm gonna fuck your mouth."
Char shivered with want and obediently opened up. The slide of Amuro's girthy dick was not yet familiar, but the sting only made Char more excited; as Amuro started slowly rocking his hips, Char unbuttoned his own pants and freed his stiff cock.
"Got you this excited, huh?"
Char moaned around the cock stuffing his throat, sending a wave of pleasure to the other man.
"Go ahead then, show me how you do it."
Char started sloppily stroking himself while concentrating on his breathing — while the idea of choking and suffocating on Amuro's cock sounded nice, he didn't want to die before the real deal; the devil was going to eat him alive after all, and he couldn't miss it for anything in the world.
At some point in the haze of the throat-fucking, Char realised Amuro's cock was starting to throb; he moaned around it, as if to say cum inside me, I'm ready. Amuro shoved himself as deep as he could, hitting the back of the other's throat, choking Char from the inside with his seed. Soon after he pulled out to let the other breathe.
"You okay, Char? Did you—"
The blonde had his dick on a death grip, flushed and leaking precum but still stiff. Amuro looked at the other's face, looking for confirmation of his suspicions; his eyes were red and puffy, wet from the tears spilled, his mouth was red and full. Amuro swallowed.
"I— Uh, I wanted to cum in, well, another setting."
The other grinned, "I see. Come on the bed."
They both sat down and delicately undressed each other; the tender touches were a change of pace from the earlier hunger — neither of them mentioned how it meant they were sharing much more than a temporary relief.
Char knew they would go back to "normal" soon, that Amuro would pursue a regular life with a traditional family... a sweet blonde girl, perhaps with cute kids and a private marriage. Amuro was being cruel to him; he knew Char wouldn't be able to move on. He never could, even if he had the habit of acting accomplished in front of everyone. Amuro would engrave himself in the other's body and, just like a deal with the devil, he'd devour his soul.
"Want to put it inside me or should I do it?", offered Amuro.
"I— How can I say this..."
"Come on."
"I've never..."
"Do you want to do it to me?"
Just another way in which Amuro would break Char's everything, disguised as an innocent proposition.
"We've come this far," offer me your whole, empty yourself, "I've seen you. I know you," you're all mine, "I want it too," let me eat you.
Char didn't need convincing.
"Yes. Let me have you," claim my whole being. Even if you're not mine, I'm forever yours.
Amuro's eyes glistened with an unusual light of melancholy right before closing the distance between them and slotting their lips together. The universe had changed, they could feel it. Their mouths moved together like clockwork, slipping and sliding perfectly together. They were made for each other.
"Wanna help me prep?"
"Yeah."
Amuro grabbed a bottle of half-used lube from his bedside table and coated Char's fingers with it. The blonde grimaced at the thought of it being used with Beltorchika.
"Concentrate," Amuro said sternly. He harshly pushed the other down and sat on top of him. The sheets smelled like lavender and fresh laundry; Char recognised the scent of a woman.
Amuro guided the lubed up hand to his opening. Char spread the substance around the rim, gently teasing the hole.
"Amuro, come here," Char gestured to lay on his chest. When the brunette complied he simply buried his nose in the other's hair. The position was a bit harder on him, but he needed to fill his memory with Amuro's scent.
"Hey, don't think about it too much. I can feel your conflicting emotions."
Char chuckled, because of course he could feel them, and he probably knew more than he let on.
Finally he pushed one finger inside Amuro, and soon after he was spreading him open with his hands, reeling at Amuro's soft moans and quick breathing. It was a strange feeling, knowing he was being eaten alive while being allowed inside such an intimate part. In some way, perhaps he was also eating away Amuro's wish for normality.
"I think I'm ready. Is this position fine?" Amuro sat up and hovered directly on the other's stiff dick.
Char nodded. Of course it was fine — he could see all of Amuro in his glory and perhaps... he may have also felt chained down and owned.
Bit by bit, the devil sank down, taking everything from him — his reason, his free will, his past and his future. Amuro moaned and whined at the stretch, and Char realised he must have been brought to hell itself. What a torture, what a terrible punishment, being able to taste divine nectar only once and never again!
"You okay?" asked Amuro, caressing the other's cheek.
Char leaned into the touch, "yes, just a bit overwhelmed. You can move when you feel like it," he said, grabbing Amuro's thighs.
When Amuro started moving, Char realised he wasn't used to it. Perhaps... they were both trying something new, forcing each other out of their comfort zones. The pleasure was still immense for Char, and he wanted to make it the same for Amuro.
With a swift movement he shifted their position, pinning Amuro to the mattress. He hoisted the other's legs on his shoulders and folded him in half under him, finally hitting the spot that made Amuro see stars.
"Char! Oh, fuck, there, right there!" Don't stop, let me have you all.
Char leaned down to kiss the other man, caging him harder under his body. The more he pushed inside Amuro the more he felt his reason slipping. The devil's moans were like a siren song, grabbing the fibers of his mind and drowning him in pleasure.
Char bit and Amuro scratched, careless and hungry. They were clinging to each other like two desperate beasts; clashing of teeth, squelching of wetness and slapping of skin resonated in the room.
Char recognised the devil in himself too.
"I'm about to—"
"Cum inside me, do it, ahh..."
"Shit—", Char reached for Amuro's dick and stroked in time with his thrusts.
Amuro silently spilled on his chest and clenched tightly around Char. The comet tasted the other's spend from the hand Amuro had soiled and pushed himself to the hilt to spill his seed inside the devil's womb.
After pulling out, they kissed tenderly, still drawn to each other despite everything.
Finally vulnerable, Char spoke his mind: "I will never be able to get over you."
Amuro huffed, "don't be like that," me neither.
Char planted a kiss on Amuro's forehead.
"I will always desire you," stay with me.
"Yeah," I can't be with you.
Amuro sat up, reached for Char's heartbeat and laid his head right on it.
"If perhaps... we find each other on different sides again..." Amuro paused, the weight of his next words heavy on his tongue, "I will be the one to kill you," I love you.
Char smiled earnestly.
"Of course," I want you to end me.