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Castiel can hear the whispers of the parents on the playground around him but by now he’s used to it. He just keeps looking out for his daughter.
Being a young and single father had made Castiel fall victim many times to the glares of judgement from the middle-aged women around town. He’d walk hand-in-hand with Claire down the street and she would be none-the-wiser to the whispered remarks being made about her dad.
It bothered him sometimes. When Claire was still a baby and he pushed her around the park in her pushchair, people would give him those looks, as if he’d just stolen the baby from a kind and caring suburban family. But no. It was just her and him.
He supposes that it also doesn’t help that he is covered pretty much head-to-toe in tattoos and piercings.
He thinks back to when everything changed for him.
It was when Claire had her first parent/teacher meeting at kindergarten.
He’d been running late because a particularly difficult customer at the coffee shop he worked in complained that their order was not made correctly. Castiel had actually made it the way they had asked for but they’d been talking on the phone while placing their order; they had asked for the wrong thing.
Castiel huffed to himself as he made his way into the school. He was now thirty minutes late; which meant Claire’s teacher could probably be added to the long list of people who didn’t think he was fit enough to be raising her.
He stopped outside the classroom and took a deep breath before opening the door.
‘I’m sorry I’m so late, I got caught up at work.’ Castiel immediately apologised.
‘Daddy!’ Claire’s squeaky voice came from across the room. Castiel barely had enough time to prepare himself before his daughter leapt into his arms.
‘Hello, Claire Bear.’ Castiel squeezed her tight in apology for not being with her sooner but broke the hug when he heard a noise from the other side of the room.
Claire’s teacher was sat cross-legged on a rainbow-coloured mat, tidying away some stray building blocks that were on the floor. It seemed as though he was giving Castiel a moment with his daughter and he was grateful.
That was until the teacher got up from his position on the floor and reached his hand out for Castiel to shake.
‘Hey Mr Novak, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Mr Winchester.’ He said as they shook hands.
Castiel released his hand from the hold. ‘It’s nice to meet you too, Mr Winchester. But please, call me Castiel. Mr Novak is way too formal for me.’
Mr Winchester smiled slightly. ‘Well then, you can call me Dean. I wanted the kids to call me Dean too but the board wouldn’t let me. Apparently, there needs to be an element of respect in the classroom or whatever. I always thought that the kids would benefit more from knowing that I want to treat them as my equal but I guess the-powers-that-be thought differently.’ Dean shrugged and then paused. ‘Sorry, I’m rambling.’
‘No-no, it’s fine.’ Cas responded. ‘Maybe one day you’ll be in charge and then you’ll be able to make the decision yourself.’
Dean smiled at him gratefully.
Cas smiled back and the two stayed in continued eye contact for a few moments until they were interrupted by Claire tugging on Dean’s sleeve.
‘Mr Winchesser? Can I show Daddy my painting?’ She asked.
Before Dean could answer, Cas knelt down to get on eye-level with his daughter. ‘Now Claire Bear, what’s the proper way of asking a question?’
‘Sorry Daddy.’ She said and turned to where Dean was looking down at the two of them. ‘Mr Winchesser, can I show Daddy my painting please?’
‘Of course you can, Claire. Do you wanna go take it off the wall?’ Dean offered.
Claire nodded enthusiastically and skipped over to the other side of the classroom.
While she was gone, Dean offered Castiel a place to sit at his desk. ‘Do you want to get started on our meeting?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Castiel had almost forgotten the actual reason he was meant to be there. He had been enjoying seeing Claire interact with an adult other than himself for once. ‘I’m sorry again for being late. A customer complained about something and my manager wouldn’t let me leave until it was all cleared up.’
‘It’s okay, dude. It happens. And, I can see how much you love and care for Claire, I know you wouldn’t have been late unless it was out of your control. Plus me and Claire had a great time playing together while we waited.’
Castiel saw the sincere look on Dean’s face and felt tears fill his eyes. He was so used to people assuming that, because he was young and only had a job at a coffee shop, he was a bad father.
‘Are you okay, man?’ Dean asked, concern replacing the sincerity from before.
‘Yes, sorry. It’s not often that people say things like that about my relationship with Claire. I hear the other parents on the playground whisper things about me. Things about my tattoos and piercings. They judge me without actually knowing anything about me or Claire.’
Castiel looked downtrodden. He didn’t like to think about the comments people made that often but sometimes it built up and spilled over.
‘Without meaning to sound unprofessional: fuck ‘em, Cas. I’ve met older, richer, more ‘clean-cut’ parents whose kids didn’t look at them with half the admiration that Claire looks at you with.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, man. Just because you have tattoos and piercings, which are awesome by the way, doesn’t make you any less of a good dad. Trust me.’
‘Okay, thank you, Dean. It means more than you know to hear you say that.’
Dean was about to say something else when they were interrupted again by Claire, bouncing up to the desk with a picture in her hand.
‘Daddy! Look!’ She said, lifting the picture for Cas to see.
Cas looked up to see Dean watching Claire with a warm smile on his face before turning back to his daughter’s painting.
‘It’s wonderful, Claire. Is that me?’ He asked, pointing at a figure with different coloured splodges of paint on it’s arms.
‘Yeah!’ She replied.
‘I love it. Can I have a hug?’ Cas asked. Claire nodded and launched herself into her father’s arms. ‘I love you Claire Bear.’
‘Love you too, Daddy. Can I go play with the building blocks now? Please?’
Cas looked over at Dean for permission. Dean nodded. ‘Of course, Claire.’
‘Thank you Mr Winchesser. Bye Daddy.’
‘Bye baby.’ Cas said, smiling softly after his daughter.
‘You really are great with her, Cas.’ Dean said again. He paused for a moment before speaking again. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, where is her mother?’
‘It’s okay, Dean. I trust you.’
Cas spent the next fifteen minutes telling Dean what felt like his entire life story. Once he started, he couldn’t stop everything from spilling out.
He told Dean about the time he and his friends got drunk after their high school graduation. Eventually everyone had left, leaving Cas and his best friend alone. They drank some more and that’s the last thing Cas could remember until the next morning.
He told Dean about waking up lying next to his friend in her bed and not thinking anything about it until a month later when she told him she was pregnant. It was a complete shock to him but he immediately took responsibility and told his friend that he’d be there for her through everything.
He told Dean about the day he found out he was going to have a daughter. He sat in his car and cried to himself.
He told Dean about the day Claire was born. It was the happiest day of his life. The first time he held her in his arms he felt an overwhelming sense of joy and hope. He was holding a tiny new life in his arms that was going to depend completely on him, and instead of being scared, he felt excited.
And he told Dean about the day, when Claire was two weeks old, he came home from his new job at the coffee shop to find his brother Gabe trying to calm Claire’s crying. Cas wasn’t expecting to have Claire until the weekend but Gabe soon explained what had happened.
Claire’s mother had turned up with Claire at Gabe’s house and passed Claire over, asking him to tell Cas she was sorry. As soon as he heard the words, Cas’ heart dropped.
‘I never blamed her, Dean. She was just young and scared, we both were. I’ve tried to find her a few times over the last three years but I never got anywhere; she just disappeared. But wherever she is, I hope she’s happy.’ Cas sighed deeply as he finished the story.
Dean sat with a stunned look on his face. ‘Wow.’
‘Sorry to unload all of that onto you, Dean.’ Cas said, suddenly aware of how much he’d just told a near stranger. ‘I’m sorry to have kept you this long, I’m sure you’ll want to be going home. We’ll just go.’ He stood to leave put Dean’s hand on his stopped him.
‘You don’t need to leave, Cas. I’m just in awe with how strong you are.’
Cas sat back down, giving Dean a look of confusion. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Cas, you didn’t only lose the mother of your child, you also lost your best friend. The fact that you went on to raise your baby daughter by yourself for the next three years is amazing!’
‘Well, I suppose.’
‘You “suppose”?’ Dean asked incredulously. ‘Dude, you’re awesome, okay?’
Cas blushed slightly at the compliment. ‘Thank you, Dean.’ He ducked his head shyly but then glanced at the clock on Dean’s desk. He had been there for almost an hour.
‘Shit!’ He whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Dean, but we need to go now. The last bus leaves in ten minutes.’
‘Hey, don’t worry about it, man. I can take you home.’ Dean offered.
‘I couldn’t ask you to do that, Dean.’
‘It’s a good job you didn’t then.’ Dean smirked.
Cas sighed lightly. ‘Okay then.’
*
Later, as Cas was about to exit the car, Dean put a hand out to stop him. Cas turned to him, an inquiring frown on his face.
Dean glanced nervously at the back seat where Claire had fallen asleep. ‘I know this is probably unprofessional and you’ll probably say no but would you want to go out sometime? We could do something with Claire if it’s easier for you.’
Cas contemplated Dean’s question for a few seconds before a wide grin broke out on his face. ‘Of course, Dean. I can put my number in your phone if you’d like?’
Dean smiled with relief. ‘Yeah, I’d really like that Cas.’
*
After that evening, Dean and Cas began texting regularly.
They tried to arrange to see each other but much of the time Cas couldn’t find a babysitter to look after Claire. He felt guilty about it but Dean insisted every time that he was happy to include Claire in their outings.
Cas knew that he was quickly falling for Dean. Watching the man push his daughter on the swings at the park and hearing her childish giggles, made his heart swell. He could tell that Claire was falling in love with Dean too.
A month after they first met, Dean and Cas finally had a date with just the two of them. Gabe had come to visit and told Cas straight away that he needed a break. Gabe volunteered himself as babysitter and practically pushed Cas out of the door and told him not to come back until the next morning, with a sly look on his face.
That night turned out to be one of the best night’s of Cas’ life.
His life was shaping up to be pretty perfect.
But, there were still a couple of minor hurdles. Dean’s job as Claire’s teacher complicated things slightly but they agreed that, since there was only a couple of months left of the school year, they’d keep the seriousness of their relationship from Claire so as not to confuse her. She still called Dean ‘Mr Winchester’ at school and they didn’t show any amount of romantic affection around her. As far as she knew her teacher and her daddy were best friends.
Cas also didn’t want Dean’s reputation at the school to be tarnished by their relationship being public. Dean had told him he was being silly, that he wouldn’t be ashamed of him. Cas had told him that it didn’t matter; the other parents would complain and Dean’s, still relatively new, job at the school would be in jeopardy.
It turned into their first fight but Cas couldn’t stay angry when Dean turned up on his doorstep that night to apologise, with a bunch of Cas’ favourite flowers and a soft toy for Claire. Cas rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s soppiness and invited him in.
Claire was overjoyed to learn that Mr Winchesser was staying for a sleepover.
*
Eventually, when the school year ended, Dean and Cas sat Claire down to tell her about the true nature of their relationship.
Dean came over to Cas’ apartment to find his flustered boyfriend pacing the floor.
‘Dude, calm down, okay?’ Dean held Cas still. ‘She’s going to be okay with us, I promise. She’s a smart kid, you raised her right.’
Cas sighed and looked down at the floor. ‘I suppose you’re right. Uh, why am I getting so stressed about this? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?’
Dean chuckled and brought Cas into his arms. ‘It’s just because you know how much she loves you and you’re scared that this could change that. But, trust me man, there’s nothing you could do to make that girl stop loving you.’
Cas felt tears prickle at his eyes. He could always rely on Dean to say the right things. He pulled out of the hug slightly to kiss his boyfriend, pressing a soft kiss onto Dean’s lips. Dean responded eagerly.
‘Daddy why are you kissing Mr Winchesser?’ Claire’s voice came from behind Cas. Neither of them had heard the four-year-old come into the room.
The two men broke out of the kiss quickly and Cas turned to face his daughter.
‘I-uh.’ Cas stumbled.
‘I think now is a good a time as any, Cas.’ Dean whispered in his ear from behind.
Cas nodded nervously and knelt to Claire’s level. ‘Claire Bear we have to tell you something really important, okay? Shall we go sit down?’
Claire nodded and scampered off to the living room. Cas took a deep breath and followed, grabbing Dean’s hand and dragging him along.
After they were all sat comfortably on the sofa, Cas turned to his daughter who was kicking her legs happily.
‘Claire Bear, you know that me and Mr Winchester have been spending a lot of time with each other recently?’
‘Yeah because you’re bestest friends! Mr Grumpy Cat is my bestest friend.’ Claire replied.
‘Well, yes. But, as well as best friends we are, um, we’re dating. Do you know what that means?’
Claire stopped her movements, looking mildly puzzled until she started kicking her legs up and down again. ‘Yeah it means you kiss and stuff.’
Cas could hear Dean huff a laugh from behind him. ‘And are you okay with that? Do you mind that Daddy and Mr Winchester are dating?’
‘Hmm, nope!’ Claire seemed quite sure with her answer. ‘I like Mr Winchesser lots and lots and he makes you giggle and that makes me giggle.’ She smiled.
Both of the men let out a breath that they didn’t realise they were holding. Cas felt Dean lean on his back, smiling against the back of his neck.
‘Thank you, Claire. And that means you can call Mr Winchester ‘Dean’ now.’
Claire giggled. ‘That’s funny. Teacher’s aren’t ‘posed to have normal names.’
‘Well, Dean does, Claire Bear.’
‘Dean? I like that name.’
‘Yeah? High five, Munchkin.’ Dean finally spoke up, lifting his hand for the little girl to jump up and slap.
Cas rolled his eyes lovingly, and shook his head.
*
Later that night, after Claire had been put to bed, Dean and Cas lay together on the sofa. The TV was lighting up the room with a blue glow. Neither of the men were watching it, however, they were too busy revelling in the fact they could be open in their affection now.
The calm silence between the two of them was broken when Dean asked: ‘Hey, Cas? You’ve never told me about your tattoos.’ He slowly outlined the sleeve marked onto Cas’ arm. ‘Do they all mean something to you?’
Cas looked down at the tattoos Dean was touching. ‘Most of them are just random patterns or designs that I liked the look of. But some of them have meaning.’ He shifted slightly, sitting more upright so he could pull at the collar of his shirt. The material moved to reveal a tattoo over his heart. ‘This one is my favourite. It’s the first drawing Claire draw of me and her together.’
Dean smiled down at Cas. ‘I never noticed it before. It’s beautiful, Cas. She’s going to be an artist when she grows up I tell ya.’
‘Yeah. She will. My little artist.’ Cas shifted again to make himself more comfortable against Dean. He suddenly felt a wave of tiredness rush over him. The last thing he remembered before sleep took him was the sound of Dean’s heart beating in his chest.
Cas is drawn out of his long walk down memory lane by the whispers of the parents around him getting louder.
‘I wonder if he’s single.’ One mother not-so-quietly asks another.
‘Well I know for a fact he’s not married. I checked. No ring.’ The other replied.
Cas frowns to himself, wondering who they could be talking about.
‘I see. So the title for ‘Mrs Winchester’ is still open then?’ The first woman laughs.
Cas’ freezes. They are talking about Dean. He almost laughs to himself and wonders how they would react if they knew the truth.
Soon the women spot Cas in front of them and make the typical snide comments under their breath. Cas rolls his eyes, ignoring them, and looks out for Claire coming out of the school.
A few minutes later, he catches a glimpse of Claire’s bright blonde hair in a sea of school children rushing out of the doors to their parents. He gets confused for a moment when he sees her stop and turn to wait for someone behind her.
And then Dean comes out of the entrance and Cas sighs, a smile appearing on his face. He sees Claire reach out for Dean’s hand which Dean grasps eagerly. They look through the dispersing crowd, seemingly looking for Cas.
Dean spots him and points him out to Claire, after grinning over at his boyfriend. She immediately jumps up and charges over to where Cas is standing, dragging Dean along with her.
When they are near enough, Claire lets go of Dean’s hand and runs into Cas’ arms.
‘Hello Claire Bear. How was your first day in your new class? Did all of your friends have good summers?’ Cas asks as Dean walks towards them.
‘It was really fun, Daddy! We did finger painting and played in the sand-pit!’ She cheers. ‘And Toby went to DisneyWorld and saw Mickey Mouse. I want to go to DisneyWorld.’ She pouts
‘Maybe if you’re a good girl you can go, Munchkin.’ Dean says.
‘Hm, okay.’ Claire replies. She doesn’t seem impressed though.
Dean laughs but is interrupted by the mothers from before.
‘Mr Winchester probably brought the poor girl out to make sure someone actually turned up to collect her. Such a sweet looking girl, doesn’t deserve a father like that.’ One of the women sighs.
Cas hears their comments too and is prepared to ignore them as usual in favour of catching up with his daughter but Dean clearly thinks otherwise. He runs a quick loving hand through Claire’s soft hair before stepping over to the women.
‘Excuse me, ladies?’ He asks, glancing quickly back at Cas who is watching in mild confusion.
‘Oh, yes Mr Winchester. What can we do for you?’ The second of the mothers asks. Cas notices her not-so-subtly trying to fix her hair.
‘Well, I couldn’t help but over-hear the comments you just made about Claire Novak and her father.’ The two women pale. ‘And I just wanted to ask you to mind your own goddamn business. Mr Novak happens to be an awesome father and loves his daughter more than anything on this planet.’
The first mother has the decency to look guilty but her friend decides to take a final stab at Cas. ‘How do you know? He could act completely differently when they get home. Don’t think badly of me Mr Winchester, I’m just trying to think of the poor young girl.’
Dean takes a deep breath and is about to respond when Cas reaches out to lightly touch his arm. ‘It’s fine, Dean, just leave it.’
‘Dean?’ Both of the women choke. ‘Do you two know each other?’ The second woman asks Dean.
Dean looks to Cas before he answers - silently asking Cas how much he wants Dean to tell them.
Claire decides this is the time to tug on her dad’s sleeve, wanting to be picked up. Cas complies and rests her on his hip. He pushes some stray strands of hair out of her face and she smiles up at him. He sighs happily.
‘You can tell them Dean, I don’t mind anymore.’
Dean smiles at Cas and Claire before turning back to the women with a smug look on his face. ‘Ladies, I’ll let you know that everything you just said - and excuse my language here - is total bullshit. Cas is a great father and I know because he’s my boyfriend. Oh, and we kinda live together. So you don’t have to worry about the care Claire gets at home. I know for a fact she well-cared for.’
The women’s faces drop. Dean smirks.
‘Yep, that’s what I thought. I’m going to go home with my boyfriend now. See you at the next Parent/Teacher Conference.’ He says before walking away.
Claire claps her hands together happily and wiggles out of Cas’ grasp to get to Dean.
‘Are you ready to go home now then Munchkin?’ He asks. Claire nods enthusiastically. ‘Good. Let’s go!’
Dean shifts Claire onto his hip and takes Cas’ hand with his free one.
Cas can feel the stares from the parents on the playground on the back of his head but when he looks over and sees Claire whispering things into Dean’s ear, making Dean laugh, he can’t bring himself to think about it.
*
Later in the day, after Dean tucks Claire into bed and Cas says goodnight, Cas pulls Dean into their room.
‘I have a surprise for you, just don’t freak out when you see it, okay?’ Cas says hesitantly.
‘Um, okay you’re kinda scaring me, babe.’ Dean replies.
Instead of responding, Cas pushes Dean slightly to get him to sit on the edge of the bed. Then he pulls his shirt up over his head, hissing in pain slightly as he does so.
When he drops his shirt to the floor, he leaves his bare chest to be inspected by Dean. His boyfriend looks confused until he spots it. Cas knows he’s spotted it because he freezes.
‘Please don’t freak out, I can explain.’ Cas says, unsure of what Dean’s reaction means.
‘I-is that me, Cas?’ Dean asks.
‘Yeah. It is.’ Cas breathes.
Tears form in Dean’s eyes. ‘I can’t believe it.’
He reaches up to touch the new tattoo on Cas’ chest. It’s a stick figure that’s clearly meant to be him, complete with brown hair and green eyes.
‘You added a drawing of me to your tattoo of you and Claire?’ He chokes.
‘Well, actually, Claire told me to do it. When we went swimming last week she saw it and said that she, um, wanted her new daddy to be added to the picture.’
The tears fall freely down Dean’s face now. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, Dean. She loves you so much. And as soon as she suggested it - more like demanded it actually -’ Cas laughs, ‘I knew that you completed the picture.’
Dean stands up and pulls Cas into a crushing kiss.
‘I love you so goddamn much, Cas.’ He whispers against Cas’ lips.
‘I love you too. I’m so happy that I met you. I know we haven’t been going out for long but you’re it for me now Dean.’
‘You’re it for me too, Cas.’ Dean pulls Cas into a hug.
They remain in each other’s embrace, content to stand together in silence. Cas couldn’t be more grateful for Dean entering his life, he thinks as he tightens his hold on his boyfriend.
‘Wait.’ Dean interrupts the silence. ‘Did Claire really call me her new Daddy?’
‘Yes, she did. Is that okay?’ Cas asks.
‘It’s perfect, Cas. I am honoured to be her Dad. I just hope I can live up to the pretty awesome one she’s already got.’