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They're in a heated make out session, again. It's almost like they're teenagers, Levi thinks. The relationship is still new, and everything is exciting and terrifying, but Levi feels himself come alive under Erwin's touch.
Erwin's mouth had always been his strongest asset. His silver tongue and gorgeous grins saw him through situations even Levi's strength couldn't overcome. And now Levi feels Erwin’s power turned against him this time, and oh how Erwin’s tongue just makes Levi’s knees give out from under him. It’s as though his very core has become molten lava. Levi was ready to just give in completely. To lay his body out, offer it to Erwin, and let him do whatever he pleases.
Levi shivers at the thought, but can’t see it through. Maybe next time, when he isn’t burning and desperate to take from Erwin just as much as he wants Erwin to take from him. He wants to pin the bigger man down, worship his body, bring him to bliss with his mouth, and then ride him until he can’t do anything with that mouth of his except voice inarticulate noises of pleasure.
Levi wants. He wants so desperately and intensely that he can’t see straight. And yet, Erwin still has the audacity to have his shirt on.
It’s a nice shirt, all crisp and clean, but it’s standing in Levi’s way to see and feel Erwin’s delicious, gorgeous skin. Levi’s hands had been wrapped up around Erwin’s neck, but as the kisses Erwin gave him grew deeper, Levi’s hands wandered down and gripped onto the fabric. He can feel the warmth from Erwin’s skin on it. He grips onto the shirt, intending to pull it up and over Erwin’s head.
Instead, Levi feels the shirt give. It was as if he was pulling at wet paper, and the once nice shirt fell to pieces because of his hands. The event is a bucket of ice water poured over Levi’s head, and he can’t even think of the alluring skin that’s been revealed.
Levi’s mind instantly spirals. All he can think about is when clothes were so hard to come by, back in the Underground. Particularly ones that were clean, and fit nicely. And this clothing of Erwin’s fit him much more than just nicely. Sure, everything Above was so much easier in comparison, but how many nights did Levi come into Erwin’s office to see him agonizing over budgets? He watched as his Commander looked for anything he could cut to direct what meager amounts they did receive towards the most vital of supplies.
And here Levi was, so desperate and impatient he was destroying a perfectly good shirt. He feels Erwin’s hands tighten on him, and although that would normally feel amazing, he thinks surely there must be anger, or at the very least annoyance, behind it. He felt Erwin pull away from him, and he tensed further.
What he saw took his breath away completely. Erwin’s eyes were so dark, Levi couldn’t see the brilliant blue at all anymore. And his face was flushed a sweet pink that Levi so rarely sees. The way that Erwin looks at him is enough to set every nerve of his body on fire all over again.
It shouldn’t, though. What if Erwin hadn’t noticed?
“Levi?” Erwin asked, checking in with him. He rubbed his hands up and down Levi’s sides. He knew it was a comforting gesture, but it only turned Levi on further. Erwin’s hands felt so good on him.
Levi tried to stay focused. Tried to find his voice. He failed to keep it steady.
“Your shirt. I-I’m s-”
“-Don’t worry about it. I’ve got more.” Erwin smiled softly at him, and every worry Levi had evaporated in an instant. If Erwin said it was okay, then it was.
Levi felt Erwin reach around him, grab his ass and pull him in and against him.
“Now, come here,” Erwin whispered against Levi’s lips and Levi was all too happy to obey.
The small hiccup of the torn shirt didn’t come up again until the next morning. Levi had promptly passed out after Erwin had cleaned his body with a warm wet cloth. Usually, it’s normal for Levi to take the time to fold and put away their haphazardly discarded clothing, however Erwin had become practically insatiable. Levi was just as eager, but he was getting accustomed to having a bit of a higher stamina in bed.
In spite of the mess of clothes Levi awoke to, he could still secretly admit to himself that he quite enjoyed getting fucked until he passed out. He even hoped the tingle of soreness would last a little longer, a pleasant reminder of Erwin’s enthusiasm.
Behind him, Levi felt Erwin stirring awake. He pulled Levi in closer, and pressed ticklish kisses along the sensitive spots on the back of his neck.
“Morning.”
He felt a shiver run up his back from the deep, sleep heavy voice Erwin breathed into his skin. Levi grunted in response, and felt a few more kisses before Erwin rose from the bed they shared. Levi made sure to admire the view of him walking, entirely bare, into the bathroom for a shower.
Getting up, Levi went about folding the clothes he could no longer stand the sight of. It took a bit of time detangling their ODM harnesses apart from the worn clothes. By the time Erwin finished up his quick shower, he emerged from the bathroom to see Levi was seated on the bed inspecting his torn shirt. Erwin walked over to the dresser to pull out a fresh one.
“What was I thinking?” Levi asks aloud, a bit rhetorical, “It’s not like you were going anywhere last night.” Erwin chuckled at that, dressing himself.
“What a waste. I can’t even sew it, there’d be a huge seam across the whole thing, not to mention it’d be crooked-” Erwin moved around the room, going through the motions of his morning routine as Levi fussed over the shirt.
“I told you it was fine,” Erwin walked over to kiss the top of Levi’s head. He brought with him the intoxicating smell of fresh soap, aftershave, and his hair product. When he went to go back to starting his day, Levi grabbed his hand, and kept him close. When Erwin’s gaze turned questioning, Levi tipped his chin up towards the commander and Erwin smiled as he leaned down to connect their lips.
Kissing Erwin right after his shower was Levi’s every fantasy coming true. Everything about him was clean, his looks, his smell, even the taste of his mouth was fresh and minty. Levi couldn’t help but want to indulge in it.
Before they could both get carried away, Erwin pulled back. He gave Levi another quick kiss as an apology, “I have a meeting today before lunch,” He kissed Levi again, a little longer this time. “After that, I’m all yours,” Levi is kissed again, harder this time, and deeper. He can’t hold back a soft hum of pleasure. As soon as Levi voices his pleasure, Erwin pulls back again. Levi lets him. It is getting time for him to leave, and as much as Erwin makes him feel like a horny teenager again, they aren’t.
On his way out the door, Erwin places a hand on the doorframe, and looks back at Levi. There’s a glint in his eyes. “Oh, and feel free to rip my clothes off next time too. It’s sexy when you’re so desperate.”
Just as the words got out of Erwin’s mouth, a bundled ball of his torn shirt came flying towards him, hitting him square in the face. He was able to catch a quick glimpse of Levi’s reddening face before he ducked out of the room, saving himself from anything else in Levi’s proximity that he may turn into a projectile.
“Coward,” he heard Levi call. He turned around and saw him already at the door Erwin had left, picking up the shirt he threw.
“Tactical retreat,” Erwin argued as he left the office that his bedroom was attached to. His last sight of Levi before starting his day was of his eyes rolling, and a small grin and gorgeous blush that Erwin adored.
~
The next time Levi notices that he loses control over his strength happens on the night they return from an expedition. They’ve completed the usual routines that are to be done after a trip outside the walls. They’ve gotten checked at the infirmary, completed post-expedition paperwork and meetings, and even cleaned and replaced damaged equipment.
They’re tired, but emotions are still high. It didn’t matter that this one short expedition was completed successfully, the public detested them, and their ultimate goals seem to be so far out of their reach. They lost people again, because of course they did. They are good soldiers, friends even.
Well, they were.
So instead of thinking about that, Levi lets Erwin climb atop of him in bed and kiss him. They’re both exhausted, but sleep will just lead to haunting nightmares of all that happened outside the walls. The memories are too fresh and new, and the nightmares too vivid.
Levi tries to keep focus on those that are alive. Erwin was here, he was alive. He was warm and solid beneath Levi’s fingertips. He felt safe enough to close his eyes when he could feel Erwin’s breath against his lips, or his skin.
And Erwin took his time with Levi, treasuring every inch, and every second. Levi feels Erwin’s touch and kisses take him apart and put him back together. He relishes in the time and attention Erwin puts into pleasuring him, but by the time Erwin removes his fingers from Levi’s body, Levi is half delirious with want.
When Erwin sinks his cock into him, Levi lets out a sob of pleasure. It’s emotional for both of them, each clinging and kissing each other, freshly aware that they could’ve lost the other. Levi wishes he could hold Erwin inside of him forever. He wraps his legs around Erwin and pushes him harder inside. They both moan.
Erwin covers Levi’s mouth with his own, wanting to taste his moans. He speeds up too, and reaches a hand between them to touch Levi, who can’t do anything except hold on tightly and drown in the pleasure. He tightens his grip, clinging desperately to Erwin’s back. The sweat forming from their movements only made Levi hold on tighter.
Suddenly, Erwin groaned deeply and thrusted even harder, and stroked Levi faster and faster until they were cumming together. When Levi came back down from the high of orgasm, Erwin was still inside him. He was pressing feather light kisses against Levi’s face.
Levi moaned softly and found Erwin’s lips to kiss again. They did so, slowly. It was quiet, and warm between the two of them. Levi would never admit it, but he enjoyed these soft and sweet moments so much.
“I’ll get you a cloth,” Erwin said, pulling back from him. Levi hummed, appreciative Erwin remembers to clean up instead of just rolling over, trying to convince Levi to sleep.
He felt the slickness of Erwin’s back as he reluctantly released his hold around the other to allow him to get up. “Get one for you too, you’re sweating like a-”
Levi catches sight of his hand, blood covering his fingertips.
His heart stops, and he can’t see straight. He blinks his eyes multiple times, trying to correct what he’s seeing. It happens sometimes, after expeditions, that soldiers suddenly see the horrors they saw beyond the walls. They often held off on serving meat with bones in them for as long as they could after expeditions because it could often set others off.
Levi was never amongst his comrades in this hardship. Growing up underground, he was never innocent to the horrors and grotesque of the world, and seeing them outside the walls didn’t change anything. He was strong, and tolerated the brutality to some level and never experienced this.
And he still hadn’t. He blinked and blinked, and rubbed his fingers together, and the blood was still there. It smeared onto his thumb. He couldn’t breathe.
“Levi?” Erwin asked, “Are you bleeding?” He sounded confused, and Levi couldn’t find his voice to respond. Instead, he sat up and gripped his shoulder to turn him around and was horrified at the sight.
Streaked across Erwin’s back were eight angry, red, deep and bleeding marks.
Levi couldn’t see straight. These weren’t the normal scratches seen after a good round of sex. At least two of them needed stitches. Memories from the Underground come rushing back to him, when he didn’t have two long blades in his hands to defend himself with. When he used to rip apart human flesh with his bare hands.
“Put your pants on. You need stitches, let’s go.”
“Is it really that b-” Levi went straight for the attached bathroom. There was some gauze for easy changing for any injuries sustained during expeditions, but no sewing kit.
And why would there be? The bedroom wasn’t where they got injuries like this. That happened on the other side of the walls. Sure, injuries happened during training, but they went to the infirmary for that.
He tried to not think too hard about the humiliating circumstances.
He grabbed the gauze and took it out to Erwin, who had gotten his pants on. He has half a mind to be grateful that backs don’t bleed as much as some other areas of the body would. He wrapped the gauze around Erwin quickly, and wiped himself off with the bedsheet just enough that he could dress himself even faster and cart Erwin out the door.
As Erwin silently endures the process of getting the gashes cleaned and stitched up, Levi can’t look at him once. The doctor, thankfully, is exceptionally professional, and doesn’t have a single smart quip about the glaringly obvious nature of what led them there.
He wonders briefly if they keep their mouth shut because of Erwin’s high position or the look on Levi’s face.
The doctor is tying the last stitch up and Levi thinks that they will at least get through this situation with a little bit of discretion, but then Hange comes bounding in with blood covered hands and Levi curses himself for thinking they were in the clear before they were back in their room.
“Whoa, what hap-” Hange peered around to Erwin’s exposed back, “pfft-” and promptly burst into laughter. Loud, obnoxious, grating laughter that only served to sour Levi’s bad mood further.
“You two are something else I swear-” The doctor finishes wrapping up Erwin and sets immediately to checking Hange’s hands. There’re shards of glass in them.
“Hange,” Erwin interrupts before they can say something that’ll set Levi off, “What happened?”
“Oh nothing, just a little explosion, nothing serious! The field samples are all safe and sound though, and I figured out-”
“-Great, I look forward to reading your full report on the matter. Levi, let’s go.” Levi was already at the doorway, ready to get out of there as soon as possible.
“Rude! My hands are all jacked up, how do you expect me to write up a report like this?”
“Hange, your mind is the most brilliant in all the walls, I have full confidence that you’ll be able to figure that out.”
“Yeah, nice one, you don’t sound like you have priorities elsewhere at all, by the way. Hey, have fun fucking you two!” They had walked out the door at this point, but could still hear Hange’s voice call out, “Remember your safe words!”
The walk back to their room is quiet. And when they get there, Levi goes about changing the sheet he used to clean himself with. He fussed over the corners, and smoothed the sheets until they were absolutely perfect. He was stalling.
Erwin reaches for Levi’s hands to settle him. He flinches out of Erwin’s hold.
Realizing this was heavier than Erwin first thought, he sat down on the bed.
“Sit?” He asked. Levi did. There was space in between them that Erwin didn’t like.
“Everything’s back in order now, you don’t have to worry.”
“If you’re asking me to be okay with the fact that I hurt you, it’s not gonna happen.” Levi crossed his arms, closing himself off.
“I’m okay with it. I take it as a compliment, actually.” Levi rolled his eyes and turned his whole body towards Erwin, always so direct.
“I get that to you and Hange this is some hilarious joke, but I actually, seriously, injured you.”
“I’ve hurt you, before. We get,” Erwin considered his word choice, “passionate, and maybe distracted a little bit. I do the same. You’re strong, Levi-”
“-No, you leave bruises, hickeys, a scratch maybe. That’s nothing, I ripped your flesh apart-”
“-You’re exaggerating.” Erwin said firmly. He needed to de-escalate, it really was only a few stitches, more so for infection and healing than anything else.
“-and I didn’t even fucking notice!”
Erwin blinked. Oh.
“How am I supposed to not hurt you, when I didn’t even realize I was doing it in the first place?” Levi’s breath wasn’t very steady. He had never seen the other so, unsure of himself, so afraid.
Erwin marveled at the sight. Levi had always talked about his power as being something that came naturally to him, instinctual. He had always had a firm control over his power, his body, and it must be more than a little unnerving to suddenly no longer have that control.
Erwin turned his own body towards Levi.
“Come here?” Erwin held out his arms to the other. He didn’t want to force it, but he couldn’t bear to see Levi look like this and not feel the need to give him some comfort.
And Levi was so good, he did just as Erwin asked, and sat himself right in Erwin’s arms. He still kept his own arms crossed and close to himself, not willing to even try touching Erwin, but this was enough. He buried his face in Erwin’s neck as the other wrapped his arms around him.
“Next time, you’ll know. I’ll tell you, I promise.” Levi breathes against him, taking time to calm down and be comforted as Erwin rubs his hands in soothing circles against his back.
A moment of silence passes between them.
“Why didn’t you tell me, this time?” Levi asks, quietly. Erwin sighs, knowing Levi isn’t going to like the answer.
“It’s hot,” he answers, honestly. Levi immediately pulls back. Erwin holds him tighter and meets his glare.
“Be serious,” Levi places his hands on Erwin again here, feather light, but Erwin will take it.
“I am. If I didn’t have to budget our medical supplies, I’d be encouraging this right now,” he leaned in closer, and spoke softer, “I can’t wait to sit at my desk tomorrow, to lean back in my chair and feel these. I’ll remember how tightly you clung on to me, around me-”
“You’re insane. Actually, really insane.” Levi leaned back, and Erwin could see that gorgeous red forming on his cheeks.
He smiled, glad that Levi was starting to feel a little better.
“You make me that way. I have so many fantasies, too. Recently, I’ve been thinking of you wrapping your thighs around my head while I suck you off, and I really think it’s how I want to go out.” Levi snorts, and pulls out of his lap.
He pulls the bed sheets down, and climbs into bed. Erwin follows after him, delighting when Levi curls right back into his arms.
“You need your head checked,” he whispers.
“I could tie you down,” Erwin keeps going, whispering now, but otherwise undeterred, “You wouldn’t have to worry about hurting me if I do, just about feeling good,” Levi is quiet, considering, “And I’ll make sure you do. Over and over and over again, you’ll feel so amazing, and you’ll be just as gone as you were today, and when those ties snap I-”
Erwin feels lips press against his.
“I’ll think about it. For now, settle down. We’re not doing any of that tonight.”
They settle in together, Erwin holding Levi tight, and they both find rest dreaming of bedroom activities and intimate moments, the horrors beyond the wall far, far away.
~
The next time Levi’s strength gets away from him, it’s not directed towards Erwin’s body.
It’s been months, and the marks Levi unintentionally clawed into Erwin’s skin has long since healed over. There hasn’t been another incident like the one before, and they’ve certainly explored fun ways to handle it, but this wasn’t one of those times.
Instead, Erwin had Levi on his knees, one hand on his hips and the other on the back of his neck, holding him down against the mattress as he pounded into him with bruising force.
It was springtime again and both were very busy and endured an uncomfortable dry spell. Today it ended, and Levi couldn’t be happier to be finally getting fucked exactly how he wanted.
It was unconscious really. Levi didn’t think about it, he was too much of a moaning mess to think about anything at all. He just reached a hand out in front of him, gripping the headboard, needing something to hold on to. Something for him to brace himself against to push back against Erwin better and get him in deeper.
Then there was a cracking noise, and the solid wood beneath his hand gave. He lost his brace, but felt Erwin thrust impossibly deeper into him. He heard the other groan and speed up, letting Levi lay there and take every inch of pleasure Erwin had to give.
They came quickly after that, but Erwin wasn’t finished. Levi was briefly distracted by the broken headboard, but Erwin kissed his way down his back and pushed his tongue into Levi, tasting his own cum.
Levi didn’t think about the headboard after that.