Chapter Text
“Thanks for the ride, Tennie. You're my saviour!” The click of the seatbelt being done coincides with the locking of the car and Ten winces at the noise, his body cringes in pain. But he smiles, of course he does, why wouldn't he?
“Of course, Taeyong. What kind of a friend would I be if I left you to hail a cab? And wouldn't I do absolutely everything for you!” Taeyong laughs, in the pretty way that he always does. Taeyong is always pretty, way too beautiful for the polluted world. Ten wouldn't know how Taeyong manages to seem so untainted when everything around him, including Ten, is a cluster of clouds filled with acid. “What would I do without you,” Taeyong sighs, a tad dramatic like he always is, exaggerating his movements and all. Ten chuckles at him.
“You know how my husband is, he saw a small dent on the bumper and decided my car should be taken to service immediately,” Taeyong exclaims, exasperated, as if he's not internally gushing about how lucky he is to have a husband who cares so much. “Now why was there a dent in the first place?”
Taeyong looks at him with his big eyes, like he is warning Ten against accusing him. “It isn't my fault, man. Someone hit and ran when I had parked it at work.” Ten gives him a look back, one that shows he finds the predicament funny, and snorts. Then his foot hits the clutch.
“So, how's the search for the surrogate going,” he asks when Taeyong decides he isn't in the mood for music or radio, eyes fixed on the road, feeling Taeyong's gaze on him from his periphery.
Taeyong has wanted children for as long as Ten has known him, multiple- one of the things that makes him a perfect husband material. He is somebody to have a domestic relationship with- has a successful career, is a great husband, cares about household, knows how to cook and clean, is great with kids and elderly alike, is heartily loved by his in-laws, somebody deserving of a life of his dreams. Capable. Intelligent. Hardworking.
“It's going pretty well. We have met someone. Our moms like her. She also has a kid of her own so she'd know how to deal with carrying and stuff.” Ten nods along. He doesn't know, not about pregnancy, not about surrogacy and not about child management. “That's cool. I hope it works out well this time.” They've been looking for a while now, and Ten knows the sadness that surrounds Taeyong whenever anything goes against his plans.
“Yeah. I can't wait to add to our happiness,” Taeyong looks out the window serenely, very seemingly imagining the blissful future with his husband and kids.
“Why don't you just travel by air instead of long train journeys,” Ten asks next, almost missing a turn. He manages to focus in time in his defence though. Taeyong laughs, like he always does when Ten asks him this question, “I'm going to Daegu, Ten, it's too close for a flight. And you know I enjoy travelling.”
Ten knows it, Taeyong loves staying on the road. He's heard their friends complain about it, too, especially Johnny and Yuta. Regarding how much time he could save if he just travelled by air. Ten smiles, his eyes on the road.
It's late in the night when Ten is back in his apartment, a little too big for one person. It gets lonely for him sometimes, but it is also comfortable this way. He doesn't think he'd want to change much. His eyes catch the photo-frame on the corner shelf in the living room as he walks by it on his way to the kitchen. Grabbing the leftover pizza from last night, he shoves it into the microwave and then moves to grab a wine glass from the cabinet above the dishwasher. He sighs as he waits for the pizza to heat up, eyes following back to the photo-frame.
It is of Taeyong and him, from back in college. They'd just won their last dance competition together; a duo performance, something they were known and loved for, a little unsubtly sensual. They are both smiling at the camera, extremely wide and genuinely happy. Ten remembers it as fresh as yesterday, even if it was almost a decade ago. Taeyong would go on to produce music professionally two months after that and Ten would sit in classrooms for one more year. They are in each other's arms in that picture, gratitude for each other's love and support loud and grand. The picture has so much love in it, Ten feels the most beautiful looking at it and his heart crushes itself under a boulder because this picture reminds him of how much he loves Taeyong. He wonders what Johnny was thinking when he clicked the photo.
His microwave dings in completion.
He usually eats at his dining table, a simple six person oakwood furniture he bought because he has people over usually, but he avoids it today. With a hand holding his pizza and the other his wine, he walks to his couch and sits down, using the coffee table as his dinner table. He started getting bored of the television a few years ago, but he keeps it around for his friends. Taeyong loves watching trashy reality shows with him every time he comes over. Jaehyun is a sucker for sitcoms. Sicheng wraps himself in Ten's blankets as they watch romance dramas and movies.
His phone pings with an incoming notification. A customised sound he was expecting anyway.
Bootycamp Counsellor
Hello baby. How are u? (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟼)
I miss u (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟽)
Ten takes a deep breath in.
Do you now? (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟽)
Bootycamp Counsellor
Ofc baby:// (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟽)
You know i get so lonely without u💔 (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟽)
Mhmm sure (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟽)
Bootycamp Counsellor
I can come over then right?😁 (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟾)
Have you ever waited for my permission? (𝟶𝟶:𝟷𝟿)
His doorbell rings. Ten scoffs to himself, muffling a laugh. He stands up, internally- at the back of his head- mourning his microwave's work going to waste.
“You know the code, you dumbass,” he says when he opens the door to meet a sheepish smile. Boyish still in its slippage into proper manhood. Ten doesn't battle against it, but he is sure that even if he were to, the cobweb of butterflies in his stomach wouldn't stop. It's been more than a decade since they've known each other, but the thrill never dies.
Johnny Suh winks at him, clicking his tongue. “How would I have the privilege of seeing you open the door like you've been waiting for me to come home to you then?”
Such a charmer, this bastard, Ten thinks to himself, smiling despite his act of playing hard to get. “You flatter yourself too much,” he mumbles, turning around to walk back into the apartment, only for his wrist to be grasped by a larger, stronger hand. He's pulled into Johnny's chest so hard he lets out a loud breath from his mouth, his ribcage battles against his muscles. “John-” And he's kissed with a fervour. A hand on his neck, another twisting his arm behind him. Johnny is pliant to Ten in everything except sex.
Ten's tongue is sucked on as if Johnny's extracting life support from him, Johnny's fingers play with Ten's jugular veins and Ten feels so light. Light as when Johnny carries him with one arm like it's nothing, light when he's dancing and does an aerial flip. It's noisy, the kiss. Their moans and their lips smacking together, their loud breaths and the slurping of their salivas. Ten's free hand grips Johnny's hair and brings him closer. Ten doesn't have to stand on his toes because Johnny bends for him. It's comforting, as breathless as it is.
Johnny brings their foreheads together, panting, meeting eye to eye. He looks as breathless as Ten feels. “Look at you, baby. You can't even try to play hard to get,” Johnny giggles , kissing Ten's nose. Ten chuckles back, diving in for another kiss. Much slower, more playful, very Ten-like.
They're standing at the doorway, the door still open. Anyone could walk in, but nobody ever does uninformed. He doesn't have to worry about the neighbours, the ones living a floor above evacuated a week ago. Ten doesn't want to mind being seen kissing Johnny though.
“Let's go in, come on,” he whispers, submitting to the desire of smiling like the happiest man alive. Johnny frees his hand in lieu of wrapping both his arms around Ten's hips, locking them on his ass. Ten loops his around Johnny's neck.
“I missed you,” Johnny says instead, staring into Ten's eyes with unmeasured and unexplainable fondness that's reserved just for him. No matter who comes in between them, they wouldn't be seen with this specific Johnny gaze. “So you say. But you come to me only when you're lonely.”
Johnny squeezes his ass. “I'm always lonely without you, baby. How dare you think I can spend my days happily without getting to see the prettiest man I've ever met?” Ten's cheeks blush despite the obvious lie, heat rising in his groin rather than in his face. “Sure, Johnny,” he says, looking behind Johnny into the broken life that's right in front of his front door.
“Don't you miss me, Tennie?” Johnny sounds upset as if he doesn't know Ten waits for him to come back every time he leaves. As if he's not left Ten addicted and desperate for him. As if he doesn't muddle his thoughts and make him forget everything he feels for Taeyong. As if he doesn't have a whole Fydor Dostoevsky collection in the bottom rack of his bookshelf even though he cannot go past the third page of any of it without wanting to slam his head on a wall.
“You're being cocky now,” he says, unlooping his arms to hold each of Johnny's biceps, “You know the answer and you still have the audacity to pout at me. A grown ass man,” he jokes in the end, no bite to his words visible.
“A guy needs reassurances from time to time, you know,” Johnny replies instead of laughing. Every time Ten is around Johnny, there's a guilt gnawing at his guts, fear surrounds his stomach. There's multiple layers to it. He gets up on the tip of his toes and kisses Johnny on his forehead. “Of course I miss you, you dumbass.”
That seems to suffice Johnny because the smile is back and the grip on Ten is tighter. “Let's go on a drive. I wanna eat convenience store tteokbokki.” That's the most excited Johnny's eyes have been and Ten wonders what it is about processed foods that make this big ass man with delicious foods at home all the time go crazy.
“I just reheated my pizza and opened a new bottle of merlot.”
Johnny scrunches his nose up. “You hate merlot,” he exclaims. Ten cannot help the adoration spread like a wildfire in his chest. “Jaehyun's gotten me used to it. He always keeps a stash of it here for whenever he comes over.”
Johnny hums at him, stroking his sides. “Well, that's nice. Let's have a wine and cheese party when he comes over. For now, let's go have some tteokbokki and strawberry soju. I'll even buy you samgak kimbap.”
It's exciting, but it is also a tad bit funny. “Photographer for Dazed Korea and he's enticing me with convenience store kimbap,” he exclaims in faux disappointment, as if his heart isn't beating out of his chest. “Hmm,” Johnny ponders, “well I thought my sweetheart was a sucker for nostalgia. You know when he and I used to be foreign students, broke and without any kitchen skills?”
They both laugh. That was a time. Back then Ten didn't anticipate a life quite like this. He used to think he'd be married by now, emerald stone glinting on his finger, pearl on his spouse's. He looks up at Johnny and squints his eyes, mimicking Taeyong, “You guys will turn your stomachs into inorganic landfills at this rate,” he tries to add depth to his voice, failing at it, because well Taeyong is Taeyong.
“God, he'd still hate it if he knew. In his defence, he does make way better tteokbokki than I've ever had anywhere else. It's his gochujang, it just tastes better,” Johnny's eyes are looking beyond Ten, dazed and wanting. Ten snorts.
“Okay, let's go eat. I wanna sleep soon.”
And that's how Johnny's eyes are back on him, challenging with a smirk. “Oh, baby boy, you know you're not sleeping any time soon.”
Johnny buys him a samgak kimbap, gets himself a cheese tteokbokki and brings a carbonara ramyeon to share. He sets to prepare all their food and drinks while Ten spreads the picnic blanket Taeyong had sown as one of the Christmas presents for Johnny last year on the bonnet of Johnny's car.
“I got you those shrimp crackers you like, too,” Johnny says behind him. Ten's not looking at Johnny, though, he's looking ahead. The convenience store they're at overlooks the lower parts of the city beautifully. The parts that sleep on time and are dark awaiting the sunrise and the parts that don't sleep at all. It's at a gas station by a freeway, usually only frequented by truck and bus drivers. “You hate its smell. You'd not want to kiss me,” he replies, looking back. Johnny has a tray full of food in his hand and a plastic bag hangs on his right wrist.
“I've kissed you the morning after a wild night which included you puking, Ten. Processed shrimp flavour isn't stopping me.”
“You make a great point.” Ten jumps off the bonnet to help Johnny set everything up. They chew on their food, listening to the nice K-Pop music playing in the convenience store that's quite faint to their ears at this distance.
Ten thinks too much. Ten tries not to think too much.
It isn't as if they have to keep talking, but also they don't talk so much that they run out of topics. It happened with time, too, Ten ponders. Back during college, Johnny was dating his childhood best friend Joshua (who is now very coincidentally married to Jaehyun's childhood best friend, Seokmin) and Johnny used to tell Ten every story about their relationship. It was so fascinating. There was this story, of how Joshua learnt to make ramyeon from scratch because Johnny ate too much instant noodles, he shared over a cup of instant hot chicken carbonara ramyeon. “I really don't know how he manages to do it, Tennie. It's so time consuming and he never gets tired of it. And it always turns out so good.”
They used to speak of their hometowns, too, and made a thousand plans. Ten is yet to click a picture with The Bean and Johnny is yet to try Khanom Krok. Neither of them might enjoy the experience but Ten knows he'd smile like The Bean is the best tourist attraction in the whole world for the picture Johnny would take of him.
Johnny's phone rings as Ten steals the boiled egg from his tteokbokki. Johnny hops off the car to answer it. Ten takes a massive bite of the hard boiled egg, still managing to miss the yolk strangely. He hears the soft tone Johnny is speaking with, hears the lack of cockiness and shoves the rest of the egg in his mouth. It's hard to chew, but he makes do.
“Do you wanna go to Jeju for the weekend? You were saying you have your Monday off too and I don't have any work until Wednesday.” Johnny comes to his previous position, like he hadn't moved away at all. The tiny tattoo on Johnny's right ring finger catches light, glaring at Ten. Ten looks away.
“No, I have plans. Jaehyun's coming Sunday morning,” he says, swallowing the last of his kimbap. Johnny rolls his eyes. “Oh, then we should do that wine and cheese party on Sunday,” he suddenly sounds chipper. Beyond everything, Johnny adores Jaehyun, much like everyone else. Jaehyun has a certain charm about him, he's nice and easy to be around. Uncomplicated and supportive, understanding and trusting.
Ten narrows his eyes at him, part annoyed, part teasing, “Taeyong's gonna kill us if we do that without him. He loves merlot.” That brings out a chuckle from Johnny, who is taking a sip from Ten's peach soju. “Didn't he tell you? He's gonna quit drinking for a while. Says he feels bad if the surrogate has to go through all of it alone, says it's the least he could do for support. You know how much of a sweetheart he is,” Johnny says as he takes another sip. Ten looks at him, his heart itches, “So the surrogate is chosen and set,” he asks, voice a little meek. Taeyong had just told him that it was going well and that they were still negotiating.
“More or less. It's my co-worker's cousin. I introduced Taeyong and her. They got along pretty well from the get go. I've not seen him this happy in a while. She also has a child of her own, so she knows what she's exactly signing up for. Everything seems to be going in the right direction.”
Ten nods, “Maybe his husband should be a good partner and stop drinking, too,” he says, opening the bag of shrimp crackers. Johnny laughs, rolling his eyes and hops off the bonnet again- this time to pull Ten to the edge and stand between his legs. Ten locks his ankles above Johnny's ass.
“Enough about the world, let's focus on us,” Johnny whispers, a flirtatious smirk on his face that's so corny Ten loves it. He's goofy in ways that are atrociously stupid and Ten really doesn't think it gets any better than that.
Ten loves goofy.
“My boyfriend would hate that,” he teases, like he always does. The guilt is ever present, and Ten thinks of many things… breaking up, stopping this… but Ten isn't used to receiving and that now that he does in abundant amounts, he doesn't know how to stop. He doesn't think he wants to.
It riles Johnny up every single time. The simplest of mentions, it's amusing, because Ten wants to ask why he didn't claim Ten first if he is any obsessed. Johnny growls in irritation, holding Ten's neck in his palm, the nail of his forefinger scratches Ten's bottom lip. “You don't even love him, Ten.”
It is true, by all means. Ten doesn't love his boyfriend. Even after two years, even after Jaehyun brought the whole world to his feet. Nobody has loved Ten more than Jaehyun has, but no matter what he does, Ten never feels the most loved when he's in his arms. It is an internal issue, Jaehyun has nothing to do with it- he isn't the problem, it is who he isn't that is. Ten likes him though… likes him enough to keep a bottle of merlot in his cabinet at all times, enough to learn how to cook seafood fried rice for him that he loves so much, enough to not leave him.
He wakes up every morning to Jaehyun's calls, or kisses when they're together, and replies to Jaehyun's “I love yous” with sweet lies that burn in his throat. Jaehyun always smiles like he's won the world cup.
It is just Johnny who knows how ugly Ten is, and that's just because of how often Ten sucks his dick; because who would mistreat precious Jaehyunnie? Moreover, Johnny was the first one to do it- while Joshua was baking him a two tiered birthday cake, Johnny was stuffing his face in Ten's ass, the tip of his tongue touching Ten's prostate for the first time ever.