Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Since she first remembered, since Asashi first became Katarina Claes, she has always known just how her life would end.

Her life as Katarina Claes that is.

Eventually, with a terrible slowness to it, her life as Katarina Claes would end; through exile or death.

But it would end. And she would wear Asashi again like an old kimono and walk the earth. Travel the seas, visit towns, watch the trees, and hike mountains. Meet people.

Her name would be Asashi Katarina, no last name, and she would go by Asashi. Tell people her middle name when she comes to trust them. There was a whole system to it.

The end of Fortune Lover is approaching, Katarina Claes will die soon. Asashi will live again soon.

There is work to be done.

Summer holidays are truly a blessing.

"Being back home at the family mansion is really nice!" Katarina smiles, relishing the cool air. But she can't relax, not really.

Since she has no lectures to go to, Katarina's been working on improving her toy snake, knowledge of agriculture, her swordsmanship, and working in her field. All good work, all important, necessary work.

(She needs to see an actual farmer's field to properly assess it but that can wait for now.)

She sighs, looking out at the greenery ahead. It isn't an unfamiliar scene; this gazebo is a popular hangout spot for her and Keith. It's fun, watching the scenery change. Keith sits with her here; he sits behind her now at the table and chairs set out for them. A glance back at him shows her brother leaning back in his chair, book in hand as he sips from his glass of juice.

‘...I'll be leaving soon.'

The thought lingers in her mind and Katarina sighs. The weight of it rests on her.

'Soon, Fortune Lover will end.' She thinks. And her life as Katarina Claes will end with it.

Katarina Claes will die soon.

She watches the landscape silently, rolling the words around in her mind, tasting them. Katarina doesn't know how she feels.

"Mother!"

Katarina races forward, barely keeping herself from running even though Mother has stopped walking.

Millidiana Claes has a scrunched-up face when Katarina reaches her and she gives her a sheepish smile, dusting her hands on her dress in case they're dirty. Mother's eyes narrow further. She tries not to recoil. When Mother speaks it's with a frown, eyes fixed on her hands.

"Yes?"

She takes a deep breath.

"Er, do you want to have tea sometime?"

Mother blinks, her head twitches like she's doing a double-take. Katarina hopes she accepts quickly so she can leave quickly. Best not to annoy Mother too much.

"That would be... pleasant." Mother says, hesitating for a moment. Has she overstepped? She hasn't had tea with her mother alone in ages, only Keith does that anymore. Though she thinks she used to, or at least Katarina Claes used to, before Asashi came into the picture.

She keeps a smile on her face. Names are confusing. Identities and dealing with reincarnations are even worse.

"Did something happen?" Mother raises her chin, the perfect picture of a noble. She belongs in a painting of the Victorian era, all the prettily dressed nobles with imperious expressions.

"What is the occasion?"

Katarina shakes her head.

"No, no. Nothing happened. I simply wanted to have tea with you, that's all."

Mother nods, eyes still narrowed. She's eyeing Katarina like she's analyzing her but Katarina grins.

"Great! See you around...?"

"Alright then, I'll send for you." Mother lowers her chin, it's a distinctly snake-like motion. Geordo would be sweating if he was here.

"Wash your hands." And with that, her mother pivots on her heels and leaves, dress flowing behind her. Katarina watches her leave, struck by a small sense of melancholy.

Katarina Claes will be dead soon. And Millidiana is a mother, a parent.

'...It's not as if I'm the daughter she wanted.' She shakes her head. 'She'll move on.'

Still, the thought lingers. Really, Katarina should be worrying about her father. For a moment she entertains the thought of going to see him but abandons it, Luigi Claes is a busy man, one with no time for her.

She barges into Keith's room.

"Let's go see a field!"

Keith chokes on his tea. His eyes are wide when he looks up.

"I- what are you wearing?!"

Katarina looks down at herself. She's wearing clothing similar to that of a merchant's daughter. It's not as extravagant as her normal clothes.

"Oh, don't worry, I have clothes for you too."

"That's not what I'm worried about!"

She cocks her head to the sight. There shouldn't be any problems. The clothes have been sourced, and she already contacted a nearby farm and arranged for a tour. She's even got her own produce to bring to them as a gift as well as some of her allowance.

"Then what's wrong?"

Keith sighs.

The carriage slows down and she peeks out the window. The fields are sprawling and there's a quiet nice one-story homestead outside. All tiled roofs and a brick house with a chimney.

She had chosen an agricultural subsistence farm instead of a commercial one, it wasn't as if she would be growing crops for money in exile.

She steps off the carriage daintily and there's already an entourage waiting for her.

"Hello, Miss Selwyn." The old man at the front speaks, he's not that much taller than her but he stands upright and wears simple clothes. A woman stands beside him, eyes glancing between them and the house.

Katarina marvels at the muscles the woman has. She's been farming for almost a decade now, but it doesn't show as well as she'd like it. Though her mother always seems grateful for it.

She grins. "Hello to you as well, Sir!"

Ben gives her the basket she brought and she nods to him, offering a smile that he returns.

The old man, Farmer Holis if she recalls, takes the basket with unshaking, calloused hands. Akin to Katarina’s own.

"Thank you." He meets her eyes with a smile, Katarina bows her head.

"Of course. I apologize for interrupting your day."

The woman beside Farmer Holis smiles. Farmer Hela, if she recalls.

"No need, the money you've given us for today will keep us going."

"Then I'm glad I gave proper compensation for your time." Katarina nods, hearing Keith close the carriage door behind her.

"This is my brother Keith."

"Hello. It is a pleasure." Keith smiles, and she motions to the fields.

"Well, I look forward to your teaching."

"The farm is family-owned. Ancestral. It was passed down."

She nods, walking beside Farmer Holis, Farmer Hela leading the way. The fields aren’t that large and she can see a henhouse in the distance.

"How is work divided between you?"

"I work largely on the field; Hela helps out when need be." Holis says and she notes to speak to him on efficient methods for crop care later.

"I tend to the livestock. My son, George, works out in the nearby town." Hela says.

"Do you have a dog?" She looks around warily, "They are good at protecting poultry."

"Yes...? Are you afraid of them?" Hela asks, her face turning to concern.

Katarina grimaces. "I like them, they're fluffy, they just seem to loathe me!"

Farmer Holis laughs. "Oh, I'm sure Cujo will love you!"

"Please don't call him."

But Farmer Holis is already looking around, lips puckered and ready to whistle. She sidles up to Farmer Hela, hoping a familiar presence will keep the dog from attacking.

"Holis." When she looks up Farmer Hela is sending Holis a sharp look. "You're being an ass."

Keith sputters and Farmer Holis balks.

"Wha- An ass?!"

"Yes!" Farmer Hela frowns. "The girl is afraid of dogs and you're calling one up!"

Holis sighs. "I'm sorry, you're right." He gives her an apologetic look. "My apologies, Miss."

"It's okay. If I may ask, how many livestock animals do you have?"

"We have 2 cows, quite frankly we don't see the need for more. There are six rabbits, eleven ducks, six hens, and one rooster."

"And Cujo." She asks.

Hela nods.

"And Cujo."

"And what crops do you grow?"

"Largely we grow potatoes, rice, and wheat. Sometimes, when there's excess, we buy fruit and spices from town. There are a few tomato plants here and there, so we harvest them when possible. There are a few mango trees out back, they've been there since my grandfather."

"And this works for your family?"

"It works well. Sometimes there's more food than we need so we sell it."

"I see..." She pauses. "You said there was a nearby town?"

Hela nods. "Yes, the townsfolk are kind. They're good people and the crop sells well there. The merchants offer us a good deal."

"I believe that is Miss Campbell's town." Keith says and she whips her head around.

"It is?!"

"Campbell..."

When Katarina turns around, both Farmer Holis and Farmer Hela have a dark look on their face.

'Right. Maria-Chan and her mother don't have a good reputation.’

Hela is the one who speaks first.

"You don't happen to know the Campbells, do you?"

Katarina nods with a bright grin and boldly speaks.

"We do! I'm friends with their daughter, Maria-Chan! She's really amazing!"

But neither of the farmers is swayed. Katarina stifles the slight irritation welling up inside her, they haven't even met Maria-Chan!

"Lady... Be careful." Farmer Holis says severely. She gives him a tight smile in return. Why are people so quick to judge others based on rumours?

They leave quickly after that. She gives them some more coin for their time.

("I wish you and your husband well."

Katarina stifles a smile as both Holis and Hela look appalled.

"Keith. They're siblings."

"O- Oh!")

The visit was a great success.

Katarina smiles, leaning back in her seat. She watches the scenery outside.

She'll need to take her savings when she leaves. If she can't buy some land then she'll just ask for some work on a farm.

It sounds like a fun life. Spending her days farming and meeting people who pass by. She'll be sad without her friends, but they'll move on, surely. Their lives will be all the better after the game’s end. Only Katarina Claes is in danger.

She had never thought of keeping livestock, but it makes sense. It seems chickens will be good to keep, rabbits too. Perhaps she can trade for some milk with another farm nearby.

Or perhaps she'll wander the earth? Meeting people and living off doing errands. Like a freelancer. It would be intriguing to see the various sights of this new world she's living in.

Katarina glances at Keith before turning back to the world outside.

'Maybe that's something you find out as you do it.'

Maria-Chan's town is lovely.

It has a big bell in the center, like in movies, and there are several two or three-story apartments. The atmosphere is largely jovial, people don't seem that tense here.

They ask around for Maria's house and the people are...

"Katarina."

She turns to Keith, who has a frown on his face, her adorable baby brother. He must be troubled by the reception.

"The people here, they don't seem to like Miss Campbell."

Katarina turns to look at where they're headed. The house separated from the rest, a small one-story building.

"Hm... I know." She grimaces before turning back to him with a grin. "Time to go meet Maria!"

The day with Maria is fun. Of course it is, it's Maria.

They help Maria with baking and neither she nor Keith are particularly good at it, but Maria just laughs at their terrible attempts.

In truth, Katarina has fun. In truth, Katarina feels off kilter with the knowledge that someday soon, this will end.

Someday soon, Maria will hate her for her wrongdoings, and Katarina will be exiled.

Katarina will miss her. She watches Maria knead the dough and she misses her, Maria smiles and she misses her, Maria puts down a plate and Katarina misses her. She feels like she's seeing herself back in time from the future, like she's already Asashi Katarina sitting on a dirt road and reminiscing about her old friends.

It colors her perception of things. She doesn't talk much.

"Katarina?"

Katarina looks up. Maria's hair is golden in the light of the setting sun. The day has stretched long, it is finally time to return home. Maria's expression is marred with light concern and fondness.

"Yes?" Maria. She doesn't say her name for all that it rests on her tongue. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you rests there too.

Maria's hand reaches for her and she almost grabs it only to realize the girl is holding something out for her. A small pouch.

"Here, the cookies we baked."

Katarina blinks, it feels like she's been shoved. She smiles and takes the pouch quietly. Maria watches her, far too observant.

"I had a good day today." The girl murmurs quietly. Katarina nods, feeling Keith's curious gaze from the carriage at her back.

"I did too." I'll miss you.

She doesn't say that. Instead, what comes out is—

"You're a good friend, Maria."

Maria pauses, eyes her worriedly, but smiles and nods. "Thank you, Katarina. You are too."

Katarina smiles but doesn't say goodbye. Just gives a little wave even though they're an arm's distance apart before turning on her heel and leaving. Her hand is already reaching into the pouch, but she stops when her sense of melancholy increases.

"Today was fun!" She chirps when she reaches Keith who smiles and nods, hand out for the pouch. It is dropped into his open palm without protest.

Katarina quickly closes the door and waves Maria goodbye with a smile. When the Campbells’ house is out of sight, she heaves a tired sigh and 'stifles' a yawn. Leans back into the carriage's cushions and rests her head against its wall.

Sleep comes without her wanting it to. It seems like everything is doing that these days.

(Just for a moment, Katarina thinks quietly, just for a moment let the world stop. Let it all stop.

Stop moving, stop moving on with your relentless time, with your relentless turning. Stop here in this movement and let me spend eternity here, in a carriage with my brother, coming home from visiting a friend. Nothing is wrong, these days will always happen.

Time keeps moving because when has it ever listened to her?)

"Katarina." Katarina doesn't move for all that she wakes. "Sister, wake up."

She opens her eyes and tiredly rubs at them, keeping her eyes low. "Hm..."

"We're home, you need to go to your room to sleep."

Keith's expression is visible in the low light peeking through the curtains. It's a frown, soft at the edges, and eyes open and hesitant. Katarina takes one look at it and opens the door from where she's leaning against the carriage wall, her brother flinches from the sudden onslaught of light from the mansion.

She leaves him behind as she quickly disembarks from the carriage. Keith hurries after her, mercifully silent for once.

"Sister?"

‘Not right now.' Katarina thinks and doesn't say, the lump in her throat far too prominent. Instead, she hums questioningly.

"Uh- Sister." Keith is walking beside her now, Katarina doesn't say anything as she speeds up, already climbing up the stairs to their front door. Where there will be no place to sit and remove her shoes, no lower set entryway.

‘Not right now.’ She grimaces, clenching her hands into fists. Not right now, all she needs is to make it to her own room. There, she can freak out in peace.

Katarina knocks on the door. "Sister, if you enter through the main gate—!"

The doors SLAM open. Katarina stares at her mother's terrifying visage. She has a smile on her face and her eyes bore into Katarina, she looks like a wraith coming to drag Katarina somewhere. She kind of wants to let her, if only so she can stay with her family forever.

"Mother." Katarina greets coolly past the suddenly diminished tightening of her throat.

"Welcome home, Catrina."

'ただいま。' Katarina thinks and smiles, feeling close to tears.

"ただいま." She says, voice brittle and all breathless and pleading. "Leave me the fuck alone."

Millidiana Claes flinches, actually reels back like she's been shot, expression shifting to confusion mixed with something Katarina doesn't care to decipher.

Right. Something she doesn't care to decipher.

She blinks, letting her expression settle into the poker face her mother kept trying to ingrain into her.

"Goodnight, Mother." Katarina says coolly, bowing her head. Perfect, picturesque nobility. Right before shoving past her mother.

"Sister." Keith calls at her back. She speeds up.

"Catrina!" pronounced Catrina not Katarina. Katarina struggles to keep herself from turning right back around at that.

"Scold me tomorrow!" She yells instead.

(When she gets to her room, Katarina finds a small letter on her desk.

It gives her a date and time, ‘signed Mother’.

Katarina crumples it in her fist.)

The next morning is filled with regret. She wakes up and cringes internally, already bracing for the scolding she'll get.

It will be terrible.

Katarina doesn't let it affect her. She goes through her morning routine, casually chatting with Anne as she does. She sits down for breakfast and eats food and cajoles Mother into please, please, let me have dessert now with a smile.

Everything is normal except she's the only one acting normal. Father is looking between her and the other two members of the family- Claes household like he's trying to decipher something. Mother's expression has been locked into a soft tightness the entire time. And Keith has been staring at her like he's waiting for something.

So, when Katarina's mother opens her mouth right after she pleads for more dessert, Katarina stands up quickly and makes an excuse about needing to go check on her field. Then she hurries away like dogs are nipping at her heels.

Millidiana Claes looked as if she was, for the first time, willing to agree to her requests, but Katarina couldn't stomach that. Not now.

Summer holidays have only just begun. Katarina wishes they would end already so she could go back to the academy.

Geordo visits, she's genuinely thankful for it too. It's been hard to avoid Mother and Keith lately with how they're so present. It feels like every corner she turns, one of them is waiting for her.

Mother even tries to corner her in her room but Katarina just escapes out the window. It's not that hard but it is terrifying.

(Please act normal. She wants to say to both of them. Just keep acting as you do, stop doing this. Stop changing things. Keep being the way you have always been and stop changing.

Neither of them listen because she doesn't bother to speak her truth.)

Geordo sits beside her in the carriage, his shoulder pressing into hers. Keith was out today, going to some social gathering for noblemen. Katarina doesn't care much, she chats with Geordo about the weather and all miscellaneous things.

She wonders if she'll miss Geordo? It doesn't seem like she should.

Keith is there at the lake when they arrive. He makes a move as if he's startled when they both leave the carriage together, her and Geordo, but he doesn't approach. Merely watches from afar.

The lake is crystal clear and beautiful. Katarina walks into the shallow end and lets the water run over her hands with a smile.

Geordo offers a boat ride and she accepts. Keith and Geordo row the boat together, she sits facing Geordo and avoids looking at him. Watching the lake instead.

The sun is setting, and it reflects off the lake, making it shimmer and shine. Katarina sits down in the lake 'crisscross applesauce' as she would once say.

The water is cool against her hands and she watches the horizon line where there's a nice resort built. They'll have to leave soon. It's cold, really cold, she lets it wash over her. The wetness of her cold is not helping her, nor is the breeze.

"Katarina."

She looks up, meeting Geordo's hesitant expression with her own light smile. "Yes?"

Geordo pauses. "Is there something..."

Katarina looks behind him, Keith is watching her though he looks away and turns when their eyes meet. She thinks she can see him swallow.

When she looks back, Geordo is staring at her. He shakes his head, expression soft-edged. "No, it was nothing."

He walks away, the sound of his feet splashing in water fading. Katarina looks back down and blinks when she catches her reflection. She isn't smiling anymore.

She looks back at Geordo's blonde head, golden in the light.

‘Yeah, I think I'll miss him too.' Katarina swallows past the ever-present tightness in her throat. She turns back to the water again. Her hands are digging into the sand.

In the end, Katarina climbs into the carriage alone. Keith and Geordo are in a corner near a patch of the forest, conversing quietly. She ignores them and heads back to the carriage, curls up on the plush seats, and lets herself fall asleep.

She grabs a shawl and uses it to cover her face and head, wrapping the cloth around her clenched fists and pressing them against her face. Nuzzling into the warmth there.

‘I'll need to apologize to driver Ben.' Is Katarina's last thought. 'My clothes are still damp.'

When she wakes up, she's in her bed, in her room. It's the dead of night and her shawl is still in her clenched fists. Her clothes are the same too.

She changes quietly and goes back to sleep.

The next day Katarina skips breakfast and instead arrives early at Mary's mansion.

Mary isn't even awake yet so Katarina merely greets the flustered butler, apologizes, and gives him some coin as a gift. John leads her to a lounge near Mary's room, the girl doesn't have an entrance chamber to her bedroom.

Katarina sits in the lounge and closes her eyes. Her mind keeps returning to the place she's avoiding, to the people she's avoiding. To the people who are changing this late into the game.

She can't account for it. If she had been exiled before, Katarina knew everyone would move on.

'Maybe they will exile me early.' Katarina muses with a smile, head bowed. ‘A girl can dream.'

She watches the world outside through the window.

Mary is flustered when she barges in through the door. She has every right to be, Katarina muses.

Then they're heading for the concert. It reminds her of concerts from her past life, the girls holding up signs with their idol's names and all. There are girls here, holding up a banner with Alan's name scrawled on it in black.

The piece is unfamiliar to her but it's lovely, light, airy, quick, and fast-paced. When Alan finishes, the entire hall claps, and Katarina does too, one among the many watching him.

She thinks she'll miss his music.

'Of course.' Katarina smiles tightly. ‘Alan would be the one to make me appreciate classical music.'

'Of course.'

Mary approaches Alan and Katarina follows behind her. The bouquet handed to Alan is beautiful, with blues and yellows intertwining. Other people probably wouldn't like it, but Katarina does.

Alan does too if the gracious way he accepts it is any indication.

"Alan." Mary's voice is appreciative and light. "Your performance tonight was truly magnificent!"

"Ah." Alan's face against the colorful nature of the flowers is a comical sight. "Thank you very much."

"The last song you played was a melody I've never heard before, right?" Katarina asks, cocking her head to the side. "The cheers from everyone were amazing! What's the song called?"

"That's because it's my first time performing that song on stage." Alan nods, ever humble and straightforward. "The name of that song is 'Dedicated to me beloved.'"

'A love song, then.' Katarina thinks and her heart pangs at the idea of Alan developing a love for someone without her being there to see it. She wants to see it all, to know everything she can about everyone who'll let her. Ravage everyone she knows for information so she can miss them more when she leaves.

Katarina smiles. "So, you were thinking of the person you love while playing?" Mary blinks, eyes wide, and glances at her.

It's either Mary or Maria. For Mary's sake, Katarina hopes it isn't Maria.

Alan's gotten more mature. Katarina wishes she could pinpoint when it happened. She should have kept a daily diary and filled it with pages so she could trace every moment they all existed with her.

She can imagine Asashi sitting on a tree trunk in a forest, cloak covering her face as she reads through the diaries, remembering and remembering for eternity.

"Hold on, Katarina!" Alan squawks. "What do you mean 'person you love'...?"

"But isn't it that kind of song...?"

"T- That may be so," Alan is frowning, eyes glancing at Mary. "But it's not like I'm in love with that person—"

"Alan," Mary interjects. "There are ladies waiting to talk to you over there, why don't you go greet them?"

Alan leaves and Katarina reaches out for Mary's lonely back.

"Uhm, Mary..."

She looks past the girl to where Alan is surrounded by girls, all clinging to his every word.

Mary's face is dark when Katarina glances at it, mumbling something under her breath, hand on her chin. She pushes past the selfish part of her that smiles at catching this expression on Mary's face, a new piece she can hold in her heart.

That doesn't stop her from sending a quick prayer that Alan's beloved is Mary and not Maria.

She goes shopping with Sophia and Nicol, who's there as a chaperone. The plan was initially to meet a few days after the concert but Katarina selfishly asks for it to be the day immediately after so she can avoid her own home.

The day is fun. She searches for books with Sophia. They point out books to each other, laughing over the ridiculous plots of some egregious ones, and by the end, they have a good hoard for each of them.

Nicol offers to carry the books back to the carriage but Katarina lifts them easily, one shopping bag in each hand, and drops them off speedily. When she gets back Nicol's hand is still outstretched to take the bags and Sophia is blushing.

Katarina thinks she'll miss Nicol's quiet presence.

'I think Sophia too—' Katarina freezes as her gut drops.

For some strange reason, the simple idea of leaving Sophia makes her stop in her step, stuck in place. Her body revolts against the very idea for all that her mind knows it to be inevitable.

"Katarina?" Katarina looks up, embeds the sound of Sophia's voice into her mind, and catches up to her friends.

The rest of the day is spent shopping in town. Katarina buys a hairpiece made to look like a flower for Sophia, and Sophia buys a bracelet for her. They get some desserts after Katarina wrangles them into going to a nearby bakery.

Katarina carries their bags, enjoying the warm feeling of the fresh bread in her arms, the heat emanates even through the paper bag.

"Sophia, we have to go home soon." Nicol says, glancing at his wristwatch.

"Huh, already?" Sophia asks from beside her, expression surprised. Katarina nods. It really felt like the day just flew by.

"Today was a lot of fun." She says softly, sure she'll miss it later on. The Ascart siblings are silent for a moment, they share a glance.

Katarina watches them do their silent sibling communication thing and then Nicol turns to her and says,

"I apologize, it seems I forgot to fetch something for Sophia. I shall be right back, please stay here, you two."

Then he leaves and before Katarina can even ask where he's going, there are hands grasping onto her arm. Katarina glances at Sophia.

"What is it?"

Sophia watches her, she watches the bob in her throat as the girl swallows, red eyes boring into hers.

"Katarina." Sophia begins. "I love you."

Katarina blinks, her heart melting. "I love you too." She says with a smile.

"As a friend?" Sophia asks, smiling though the edges of it droop for some reason. Katarina nods. Sophia shakes her head fondly and embraces her, Katarina misses her.

Misses the way her head bumps against her chin because of how small she is, misses how her hands press into her shoulder blades, misses the feel of her hair against her skin.

Katarina misses and it feels like that's all she'll ever do.

When she steps away there is an irritating lump in her throat, but Sophia's soft expression soothes it. "You can tell me anything, but you don't have to." The girl says quietly.

'That's from a book,' Katarina smiles and nods. "I know."

By the time Nicol gets back, she's taken a loaf of bread out of the bag and is sharing it with Sophia. Nobles shouldn't eat with only their hands, but Nicol doesn't scold either of them for it.

It is a good day.

There is a ball held. Katarina attends without Keith.

The student council president is there, Sirius is surrounded by a group of young ladies swooning over him, but he finds her easily. His eyes lock onto hers as Katarina is getting a glass of punch and he calls out to her.

"Lady Katarina!"

She smiles. "You're very popular, President!"

Sirius chuckles, taking the glass she offers him and taking a good few gulps from it. Apparently, he's single even though he's soon to turn seventeen.

'A sixteen-year-old is just a child, though.' Katarina muses, it's rare for nobility to be single at his age but it still rubs her the wrong way. It's why she's always been supportive of Keith remaining single. Then again, Keith's always refused to even talk about engagement.

"President, could it be you're not very enthusiastic about marriage?" Katarina inquires as the boy (because he is a boy) finishes his hearty gulping.

"I wouldn't go that far..." Sirius swirls his punch, the ice rattling against the glass. His eyes are locked onto her, narrowed and piercing. "There are just so many accomplished ladies, it's hard to decide what to do."

Katarina blinks, perking up. "Perhaps, there's someone you're already interested in?"

A forbidden romance, or perhaps he's found love without even realizing it! Katarina muses before pausing.

"Ah, no, I mean..." She hurries to clarify herself.

"There's no one." Sirius's voice is heavy for all that his smile is plastered onto his face. "I'm not interested in anyone."

Katarina blinks, surprised by the sudden shiver crawling up her spine. "I- Is that so..."

President Sirius cocks his head to the side, almost playful. His voice is low and murmuring. "Lady Katarina, you seem... different. Is something wrong?"

Katarina blinks and watches him. She feels as if he's searching for something, as if she already wants to confide in him.

She keeps her mouth shut. It's easier than it seems it should be. Sirius twitches, expression morphing into confused aggression for a moment before he's smiling again.

"Oh! The dance is starting!" He looks to the side. Katarina doesn't look away from him. Even his nod to the dance floor feels rehearsed, suddenly. "Katarina, I believe Geordo is waiting to have the first dance with you!"

Katarina doesn't say anything. She doesn't smile when he smiles at her. There is a drawling silence that stretches until she finally puts her glass of punch down and nods.

"Yes..." She gives him a little wave. "Well, I'll be off."

'Perhaps,' Katarina turns even though her body revolts at the notion of turning her back on him. 'It was merely my imagination.'

It doesn't feel like it.

But of course, there is that tea party with her mother.

The day arrives and the time comes but Katarina doesn't attend. Instead, she passes by the gazebo her mother had chosen and catches a glimpse of the formidable Duchess Claes sitting there, the chair opposite hers empty and waiting.

Katarina doesn't attend but at some point, she goes and stands under a tree nearby. Just... watches. Her mother doesn't spot her, she's good at staying still, sometimes.

In the end, as morning turns to afternoon, the sun rising on her mother's unmoving form, Katarina does show up. Far past the allotted time, but her feet carry her to the table without her consent.

She doesn't say anything. Mother's back is bent, hands on her head, her hair is ruffled and her jaw is tight. Her eyes are fixed on the table and she hasn't seen Katarina yet, hasn't heard her.

Katarina doesn't sit, stands behind the chair allotted to her. Millidiana Claes' tight and sharp eyes are narrowed, shining, and her hands are clenched into fists. She searches for any of her mother's usual anger and finds only a strange sorrow.

(Don't change, Katarina repeats ad infinitum to everything. Don't change. Don't change.)

Katarina sees the change happening before her and she sighs.

Mother's head snaps up. Katarina stills, straightens, hands on the back of the chair. Their eyes meet, she watches Millidiana Claes, Millidiana Claes watches her.

"Catrina." Her mother gasps, hurriedly straightening with near desperation. She moves to stand but then abandons the effort to collapse back in her chair. Her eyes are searching her’s for something. Katarina digs her foot into the tiled floor and smiles weakly.

"Millidiana." She blinks, "Mother."

There is a pause. Katarina, not Catrina. "It's Katarina."

Mother blinks, watching her. It takes a beat but then— "Catarina?"

"Katarina."

"Katarina."

Katarina nods. "Yes?"

Mother smiles slightly. Katarina looks away from her gaze.

"About yesterday, I'm sorry."

"What?" Mother balks. "No- No! Do not apologize!"

"No, no. I shouldn't have cussed at you." She sweeps a hand through her hair, grimacing. "I'm sorry, I just had a long day."

"No, no." Millidiana Claes goes to stand again, hand reaching out for her. Katarina lets her grasp her arm but doesn't lean into the touch. She could still rip it off her and leave if she wanted to, she knows that. Mother knows it too if her rush to speak is any indication.

"I'm sorry."

Katarina blinks. "What?"

Mother swallows. "I'm sorry. I am sorry for," Her hand slides down to hold Katarina's hand. "many things. I have wronged you."

Katarina frowns, cocking her head to the side. Mother's eyes are wide and pleading, locked onto her. "What do you mean?"

"I- I know I've always been obvious in my favoritism."

She snorts. "Yeah."

Mother flinches. Katarina shakes her head.

"I don't blame you. Keith is lovely, he's dependable. And I know I'm not the child you wanted," Images of Katarina Claes' in-game relationship with Millidiana Claes flit through her mind. "the daughter you wanted. And I'm sorry for it."

"I'm sorry I'm not who you want." She finishes, eyes fixed on the tree she was standing under. When Katarina finally dares to look back—

Mother looks like she's about to collapse.

The woman lets out a strangled gasp. Katarina frowns, hurriedly reaching for her and putting her hands on her shoulders.

'Why are you reacting like this?' She thinks, this is different from what she expected. A raised chin and a nod maybe but not this.

"No, I-" Millidiana Claes gasps, hands reaching up to encircle Katarina's wrists. "Katarina, that's not—"

She grimaces. This is too much and her mother's expression is too much. "I'm going to go."

"No- wait-"

Katarina releases her hands from her mother's tight grip, backs away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I'll go."

"No, Katarina, I love you."

She pauses. It is long enough for Duchess Claes to continue.

"You are not the daughter I expected but you are a daughter I love. You defied my expectations, and I am- I love you; I do."

Katarina's mother's expression is open and raw and vulnerable. Eyes locked onto hers, hand held out and reaching for her.

"I'm sorry." The words are like a gunshot. Mother's lip trembles. "I'm sorry I didn't show you that. I'm sorry- I'm sorry I had a favourite child."

"You are my child too."

Katarina blinks, watches. Steps back. "Am I?" She asks honestly.

This time she flees in earnest, not bothering to watch her mother's expression shift again.

(Stop changing, stop changing, stop, stop, stop. She thinks and thinks and thinks. Climbs up into a tree and closes her eyes tight. Stop, stop, stop)

Katarina gives up.

Not forever, god no. She can't die again, she can’t.

For a few days, max a week maybe.

For a few days, Katarina stays in her room and doesn't leave. She lays in her bed and exhausts herself; she writes and writes in her journal and exhausts herself, she runs her mind ragged and exhausts herself. She has so much energy and has nowhere to go.

Throughout it all, she is very aware that she is wasting. time.

Keith knocks on the door twenty-seven times in two days. Mother knocks thirty-two times. Father knocks twice.

Funnily enough, she lets Father in the second time.

"Father!"

Luigi Claes' brows are furrowed, looking down at her. Katarina watches him, wondering what he's here for.

"Katarina. Why are you secluded in your room?" He asks, frowning. She smiles weakly.

"I'm tired, I wanted to rest in private for a few days."

"OfCourse." Her father nods with a fond smile. He gives her a glance like he's figured something out, like they're in on a joke. Katarina wonders what he's found out about her.

"Summer holidays are great for resting and lazing about."

She doesn't laugh along with his chuckle, smiling tightly instead. Luigi Claes gives her a strange look before nodding to her bed. "Can we talk?"

"Why?"

Her father frowns and she straightens, her voice was too defensive.

"I'm curious as to your plans after the academy." He says softly, raising an eyebrow. "I'm aware of your mother and Keith's vehement disagreement with your engagement—"

'That is putting it mildly, funnily enough.'

"—and I was wondering if you intended to defy them and continue with your engagement to Prince Geordo."

"No." Katarina shakes her head, she still has her hands on the door's sides, blocking her father's potential entry. "No, I don't want to marry him."

Luigi Claes nods, that same strange expression on his face. He eyes her with a sharp gaze for a moment.

"Katarina... Is there something wrong?"

She says nothing.

Her father frowns, soft and concerned. "You know, you can tell me anything, Katarina."

"Well, yeah." Katarina shrugs tightly. "But you... You're not here often."

Her father frowns. "What?"

"If something in our family went wrong," Katarina thinks of Luigi Claes in the game, not even realizing his family was troubled more than it should have been. "You wouldn't notice unless we told you. You're not really here, you're too busy for it."

For a moment, Luigi Claes watches her wide-eyed before he inhales sharply, expression shifting into open hurt and almost offense. His eyes glimmer and Katarina barrels through his forming sentence.

"Ka-"

"I mean," She smiles, glancing back at the mess in her room. "we've been having issues these past few days and you haven't noticed, have you?"

His eyes at the dinner table come back to her. "Or maybe you did and you didn't bother to ask."

"Katarina."

Luigi Claes' expression is firm and his voice is scolding. Katarina stands tall even as ice sluices down her spine.

"I'm aware you've been having disagreements with your mother and brother lately but," He sends her a sharp, disappointed, glance. "That does not mean you can..."

He waves his hand at her room. "Isolate yourself completely. We're worried. And that does not mean that you can speak to me in such a way."

His voice softens as he goes along his sentence but Katarina still twitches when he finishes.

"Alright." Is all the warning she gives before she, softly, shuts the door on him. Father's soft eyes watch her do so and he doesn't move to stop her as the door shuts with a click.

Katarina locks it too. Then she returns to her desk and keeps writing.

'Maybe he has a point.' She presses the quill so hard into the paper that the nib snaps.

It leaves a jagged mark across the page. Katarina stares at it, sighs, then goes to her bed and starfishes on it to stare at the ceiling.

She hasn't done her summer holiday homework.

Why would she? It's not as if Katarina Claes' finishes the academy, she doesn't even get good grades. What's the point of finishing a pile of work and putting herself through the torment?

In the end, that is what brings Keith to her door.

"Sister." Keith is awkward in the doorway, hand on his arm and eyes soft, hesitant. "I heard you haven't finished your homework."

'How do you know that?' Katarina wonders.

"Anne. She told me." Keith hurries to explain, shoulders hunching up. His expression is apologetic as if he's done something wrong. By inquiring about her.

Katarina thinks she'll miss him.

She sighs. "I haven't. No."

Her brother’s voice is soft. "Can I ask why?"

'There's no point to it.' Katarina thinks quietly before shrugging. "Why would I? I'm never going to get good grades."

"Yes, but..." Keith twitches, flinches really. "No, I'm sorry, you can get good grades if you want."

"No, I can't."

"I- You can, I'm sure—"

"Don't patronize me, Keith." She sighs. "I know full well I'm not the academic sort, I could never understand half of what's in those books."

"Katarina," Keith meets her eyes. "Why aren't you doing your homework?"

She doesn't say anything.

"Can you do it? For me?"

Katarina looks away, looks back. Keith's expression is soft and pleading, his eyes are almost teary. Katarina steps to the side.

"Alright."

Keith watches her for a moment before clambering in like she'll shut the door on his face.

Keith doesn't give her any answers, he seems like he wants to but Katarina doesn't ask him for any. Instead, she sits at her desk and begins to write while Keith watches her from where he sits on the bed.

Time passes like that. She finishes one book of work, then two. And by the time she's onto the third Katarina can smell the cool freshness of the night sweeping in through her open window.

Katarina glances behind her. Keith is asleep, slumbering quietly, his legs still swung over the bed from when he was watching her. Katarina sets her pen to the side, closes her book, and sleeps at her desk.

Even in her last life, Asashi still spent her last days of summer holidays stressing over homework.

Ding Dong... The school bell rings and she makes her way to the classroom.

"Fortune Lover　はどうー" A-Chan asks, smiling. "ー進んだ？"

"あつちやん..." Asashi (Katarina) says, Atsuko stares back at her, head cocked to the side like she's waiting.

The words fall from her lips like she's been holding onto them. "I've managed to capture the playboy character and the self-important prince but..."

Asashi grimaces, why is she describing them like that?

And who's them?

"The sadistic black-hearted prince's route is... hard. The rival character keeps getting in my way."

Atsuko looks down at her, face sympathetic before it reverts to a smug smile.

'What was that?' Asashi wonders as A-Chan holds up a peace sign, preening with that scrunched up smile she adores.

"I've already finished all the routes you know."

"No way!" She leans forward, Atsuko only grins. "That was fast!"

"うん!" A-Chan chirps. "I captured everyone and now I'm on the secret route!"

"As expected of you, A-chan. You're so quick!" She reaches up for the other girl but her hand doesn't brush against her own hair. Asashi catches a glimpse of her brown strands, the colour is different than usual and her hair— isn't it too short?

"—————"

She looks up. Atsuko's smile is sad. "ちなみに誰だつたか知りたい?"

Her hands fly up against her will, she shakes her head. "No! ちよつとやめてー"

'Why am I saying this?' Asashi wonders quietly as she watches herself reel. 'What is happening?'

'What is wrong?'

A-Chan leans in and her expression shifts to a soft and sorrowful smile. Asashi feels Atsuko press a kiss to her forehead. A hand comes to cup her cheek, a thumb stroking across it—

"ききたくない..." Katarina murmurs quietly, lingering in the haze of a dream. "ききたくない, don't, I don't want to—"

"My Lady! Wake up!"

She jolts awake. Anne's face is serious but concerned, hands on her hips. "You need to wake up, it's time for breakfast!"

Katarina eyes her sleepily. "Anne... Good morning."

"Yes, good morning."

Anne straightens, there's drool on her lips and Katarina wipes it off on the back of her hand. When she looks back up Anne is grimacing.

"Somehow..." Katarina rubs at her eyes, remembering A-Chan's blurry face and press of lips to her forehead. "I feel like I just had a very important dream..."

"A dream?" Anne echoes.

"Yeah, just now. But I don't remember much of it now." She frowns, stretching her arms above her head.

Katarina looks at Anne, looks back to the half-finished book of work. "So, breakfast?"

("Where's Keith?" She remembers him, asleep on her bed, cheek pressed against the sheets.

"He's already at the breakfast table."

"...Anne."

"Yes?"

"Did you tell him I didn't do my homework?"

"Yes."

"...Oh."

Katarina looks up at Anne's back in front of her, she thinks she'll miss Anne too. Perhaps more than the others.)

Katarina decides to have breakfast with her family again.

It's a strange thing to be sitting at the breakfast table again, she's still surprised by the way everyone had paused when she had stepped in through the door. Father's fork had fallen to the table with a clatter and everyone's heads had swiveled to her as a strangled Katarina left his lips.

Katarina had smiled weakly and waved quietly before sitting down opposite Keith, Anne placing her plate of food before her. She had eaten silently, uncaring of the silence at the dinner table as no one else resumed their feast.

'I need to talk to Gardener Tom.' She muses quietly. 'Someone must have been maintaining my fields.'

She looks up to catch Keith's newest and one of several glances at her over the past minute. Raises an eyebrow with a fond smile. Keith blinks, almost recoils back really, but then he smiles too.

Katarina looks down. She won't glance at Mother because they didn't finish their last conversation on a good note, she won't speak to Father because a small petty part of her doesn't want to admit he knocked her out of her... spiral, is what one would call it, she thinks. Or maybe it's called a 'funk'.

After breakfast she takes her books and sits down at the same gazebo she and Keith frequent. Watches the grand scenery and breathes in the air before stretching her arms. She gets to work.

At some point Keith sits at the table with her, book in hand. Refreshments are placed at the table by Anne. Anne places a glass of juice before her and Katarina gives her a thumbs up before taking a sip from it, eyes never leaving her book.

By the time she's finished it's evening. The sun is no longer in the sky or in sight and the sky is a lovely shade of bright, grayish, blue. Keith's eyes are locked onto her when she looks up, his hands clasped together, lips pressed tightly.

"Keith." Katarina calls, breathless under the weight of the past few days, the past few years really. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Keith straightens. "Don't be sorry."

"No... I had... a bad day and it led to some disagreements, but it shouldn't have affected you."

She grimaces. "Or my relationship with you. I'm sorry, you'll always be my younger brother I hope you know that."

Keith is quiet for a moment before he sighs. "It's alright. Truly."

"You were unhappy." He says softly and Katarina feels that familiar lump in her throat, she bites her lip.

"Yeah."

"...Are you happy now?"

Katarina thinks over it, tipping her head to the side before she smiles weakly. "I'm not sure. I guess?"

Keith nods, accepting. "Alright, alright." His voice is firmer now. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yeah. And for the record, I love you too."

Katarina smiles. "I love you too."

Summer holidays ends and then she's back at school.

It's already been more than half a year since she started studying at magic school. The wind is turning colder as autumn slowly turns to winter, the trees are all orange now. They look like fire.

Maria and Katarina have become great friends and she now has plenty of friends outside the student council. She even passed all of her tests since everyone helped her study (though that was because Keith had dragged her into doing it)

("Sister." She looked up, sending Keith a smile. Keith seemed troubled and he simply stared at her for a moment, Katarina cocked her head to the side in curiosity.

She held out one of Maria's pastries towards him and he hesitated before taking it. His gaze was still conflicted though.

Katarina hummed. "What's wrong?"

A glance around confirmed that everyone else in the student council room seemed similarly confused (which was Maria, Alan, Mary, and Nicol).

"...You're not preparing for the academy tests, are you?"

"Nope!" Katarina chirped, biting into another muffin. She already knew where this conversation would go. Quite frankly, she was both endeared and a bit tired.

"Huh?! You're not studying?!" Alan gasped and when she turned to him, he looked stupefied, jaw slack and all. She stifled a laugh.

"Katarina, aren't you afraid of failing?" Mary asked, Nicol tipping his head to the side alongside her. Maria seemed similarly shocked.

She shook her head, swallowing down her food before speaking. "No, no need."

"What do you mean?" Alan's answering query was interrupted by Keith placing a hand on the table to block him from her sight.

When she looked up, Keith's face was troubled but soft, she felt bad since he was making that expression so often.

"Please? For me?" His eyes were drooping and teary.

'Puppy dog eyes.' Katarina realized and recoiled.

"No, I won't." 'There is still no point to it. Katarina Claes never graduates from the academy.'

"Please. For me." Keith insisted, hunching on himself, tears threatening to spill. She covered her eyes.

"Nope! Not happening! Won't work!"

"Please! I will give you all the sweets!" Keith pleaded but Katarina shook her head, eyes still covered by her hands. His puppy dog eyes would not work on her.

Then she dropped them abruptly, fixing Keith with a glance. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

Keith blinked, "What?"

"I'm not going to-" She eyed him strangely. "The chances of me passing are very low, Keith, what does it matter?"

"Don't say that, you can pass."

"Keith, I'm not the academic sort. You are." Katarina pointed at him. "I am not, however."

"I know." Keith looked away. "But please? Try? For me?"

'It's those damn puppy dog eyes.' Katarina thought as he turned them on her again. She watched a tear threaten to spill before heaving a sigh.

"Fine."

Keith didn't cheer but with how quickly he straightened, his joy was clear.

Katarina smiled tightly.)

Her fields were coming along nicely, her swordsmanship was even better, and she had gotten better at throwing the toy snake.

("Hyah!"

Geordo flinched as the snake sailed towards him. Katarina grinned.

'Success!' She gave herself an internal fist pump.

"Here." Geordo handed it to her with a smile, holding the snake lightly. When she took it, the paper snake barely even had any indents from the firmness of his grip.

He's still scared of them, then. Katarina nodded, taking it back with a chirped ‘thanks!’.

Geordo smiled and gave her a smile before he continued on his way. Katarina stared at the snake in her hands as the sound of his footsteps faded.

The snake had been in development for eight years and was well-developed (thanks to the use of Gardener Tom and countless books). It stared back up at her, red-eyed gaze reflecting her image. She had put tiny rubies for the eyes, her mother had been incensed.

'I can't believe I'll miss this too.' Katarina thought for a moment. When the sound of crumpling hit her, she loosened her grip and found indents from her fingers left behind on the paper.

She had a strange impulse to throw the snake in the garbage. It was stuffed into her pocket instead.)

But there was one problem. And it was not a miniscule one.

'Maria, dear friend, I beg of you: what ROUTE are you on?!' Katarina holds her head in her hands, sitting at the foot of her bed.

She had asked Maria, again and again, but Maria had only stated that Katarina was the one she adored.

Which was sweet but not at all helpful.

The end of the game approached and Katarina kept her satchel of supplies well packed. Checked on it daily and filled it with coin from her weekly allowance.

She had also started arranging to give away some of her possessions. Katarina Claes had been born wealthy and she didn't want to let everything she had rot, even if she died.

On a weekend, Katarina returned to the Claes mansion and began conversations with Gardener Tom regarding her several fields.

"I would like to give them away." She began. "I don't think I'll be maintaining them anymore, but I think their produce can be put to good use."

Gardener Tom stared at her from he sat beside her on the fountain's ledge. His jaw was slack and mouth gaping, Katarina gave him a sheepish smile before turning back to looking over her field.

"Truly? You don't think you'll continue farming?"

Katarina shook her head. "I think I'll keep farming but elsewhere, perhaps somewhere with a bigger field. Perhaps I'll buy a plot of land."

When she looked back, Gardener Tom seemed less shocked and more thoughtful. He looked up, still doubtful.

"If you want... you could hire people to maintain it."

"And the produce could be distributed amongst the staff." Katarina adds. Gardener Tom nods.

Katarina turned to look back at her field, the first one she ever made. She could still remember the feeling of the hoe in her tiny hands, the excitement, the refreshing feeling of exhausting herself. Of progress.

She nodded. "Alright then. I'll speak to my mother about it."

Duchess Millidiana Claes did not look as openly gleeful as Katarina imagined she would be. Her mother had been practically foaming at the mouth regarding her choice of hobby for ages, so when Katarina went to inform her mother – keeping in mind that the last time they met she had ran from the woman – she did so with the expectation of joy, happiness, maybe even smugness.

Katarina expected everything but not... this.

Her mother watched her, eyes wide and expression one of alarm.

"...You're- You intend to quit farming." Her words were near breathless, strangled even. She sounded less like she wanted to open a bottle of wine and more like a button of cold water got dumped on her.

Katarina shook her head. "No, I'll get a bigger field. Buy some land, maybe. But I need to set aside my fields for it."

Her mother seemed more satisfied with that answer, losing some of the tension in her shoulders. She seemed more tense nowadays. She lingered more in the halls too, Katarina caught glimpses of her more often, in a hallway or waiting by the door to the dining room. She made sure to avoid the woman, skirting around her presence.

"Oh." Millidiana Claes looked genuinely relieved. "That's... good."

Katarina tipped her head to the side. "I thought you didn't like me farming?"

Her mother shifted, breaking eye contact. "I... understand that you cherish the hobby."

She didn’t bother to answer that. It was true she liked farming, but it was picked because it would be useful in exile and because it reminded her of—

'Well, nevermind.' Katarina looked away to the windows aside. The trees were swaying gently in the breeze, autumn and fire-leaved. The game's end was approaching, even the trees wouldn't let her forget it.

"Katarina."

Katarina turned back to her mother. Millidiana Claes, for once, looked nervous.

"Are you sure?" Her mother's voice was soft; mouse quiet.

'I have no use for them anymore.' She nodded. "Yes."

The farmers hired were only two in number, which was more than enough considering Katarina was the one previously maintaining the fields along with Gardener Tom's help. They will be more than enough.

Katarina farmed with them and taught them the lay of the land for each field. The crops, the patch of land that was a bit funky and why that was, the soil nearing exhaustion. The crops she grew and rotateed on each field. When the crops were planted to the exact date.

Katarina taught them every miniscule detail until they could recite it on rote. It still did not satisfy the sudden misguided sorrow in her chest.

Katarina gives away more of her dresses, more of her possessions. Most of them are given to Sophia, Mary, and Maria. Some of the jewelry she gives to Alan as well, the truly valuable ones she sells for money.

"Are you sure, Katarina?" All of her friends ask her and she smiles, saying she'll buy more; that she never liked them much anyway.

There are a few items that she keeps though. A set of earrings her mother gave her, a brooch from her father. A bracelet from Keith. An arm band from Sophia, a brooch from Nicol. Ribbons from Mary and Maria. An old notebook from Anne. A wooden flute from Alan that she intends to take along. A necklace from Geordo.

Katarina watches her closet get less and less filled with each passing day. Her jewelry box gets emptier alongside it.

She feels like everything is truly coming to an end.

(There is no need for a will, one was set up for her a long time ago. After her vehement insistence, of course.)

Anne watches Lady Katarina's closet get emptier and emptier with each passing day. When Lady Katarina opens her jewelry box to take out her signature blue earrings, it is much less filled than it once was.

Those same items of adornment, those same dresses, wind up on Lady Katarina's closest friends. When the group of young nobles gathers, there are streaks of blue dotted on each of them. A blue earring on Prince Alan’s ear, matched by the ones worn by Lady Mary and Miss Maria. A bracelet on Lady Sophia’s wrist, a brooch on Keith’s coat. The necklace Geordo keeps in his pocket, its matching pair hanging from Lord Nicol’s neck. Signs of affection and adoration, but Katarina would never willingly give away these things so freely.

(Her charge is sentimental to a fault. Katarina clings to the things with feelings behind them zealously, selfishly. Anne once gave her a piece of rock from her hometown, it now rests on the girl’s desk, used as a paperweight.

It has other small pebbles and stones around it; a few seashells too. I gave it a family. Katarina told her one morning.)

Anne is watching all throughout. Lady Katarina has been quieter lately, has been more thoughtful lately. The girl has always been prone to going quiet and looking off at something, staring at it as if all the world’s secrets are tugging at her and the inanimate object refuses to ease her burden. But now she stares through these things rather than glaring at them, and truthfully, Anne considers that to be worse.

Katarina has always been present. No one who knows the girl would every say that she’s airheaded, Katarina is always grounded and rooted to the earth firmly. Always in the current moment, never pondering too long on what she cannot control.

It is only when Katarina's sentimental items disappear that she takes action.

Katarina Claes is, when it comes to her personal privacy, a girl of habit.

She writes in a journal in a different language that Anne can't make sense of, she wears the same clothing over and over, the same hairstyle, and she keeps all of her sentimental items in one of three places: a large compartment in her desk, the top drawer of her bedside table, or on her desk.

Anne cannot find the rock or its family. She checks the desk, the drawer, and the compartment; All are empty.

'This can't go on.' She thinks. Then she only comes back to herself after having written a letter to both Luigi and Millidiana Claes regarding their daughter's actions.

Anne tracks down the fastest messenger boy and gives him the fastest horse using Duke Claes' name. In the meantime, she alerts each of Katarina's friends to keep an eye out for her.

All of Katarina's companions echo Anne's sentiment:

'Something is wrong.'