Chapter Text
Bartending in Peru for 6 months is the best opportunity Buck could’ve chosen. While bartending was far from his calling – he genuinely enjoyed it, and the amount of distractions that come with working behind the bar. Apparently ‘bartender’ is a kink like ‘firefighter’ or ‘cop’ is. The main problem was that it really wasn’t helping anyone in a way that was significant enough for him to be satisfied. Sure, helping out a girl get away from a creep or listening to people's problems and why they ran to Peru is always fun, and it makes him feel important, but it doesn't make sense for him. He knows there’s something out there, something made for him. However, until he finds that something, bartending is a fun hobby that pays decently enough for him to have fun.
It's officially ‘spring break’ season for colleges so people his age are showing up in larger, more ‘willing-to-get-shitfaced’ groups, and he’s working by himself tonight. Buck lives vicariously through these people, them sleeping around and getting absolutely blackout drunk in a foreign country while on break from school seems like a rite of passage he missed out on after getting kicked out of college. The most recent schools to show up are from the northeast states, lots of new yorkers and people from the capitol. Honestly, most people look exactly the same as the rest, no one really catches Buck's eye today, everyone is too busy having fun with their friends for Buck to really have any interesting conversations while he cleans glasses.
For most of the night he simply makes drinks, barring a couple mixologist tricks he learned while he was bored at his first bartending gig a while back, those get the big groups attention for a couple minutes. Other than that the DJ plays banger after banger and eventually the whole bar starts paying their tabs. At around ten to fifteen minutes before closing, it starts to get really empty, and he decides it's safe to start offering to call Ubers for anyone who is still at the bar and obviously too drunk to get home.
Buck starts going through the motions of closing, cleaning tables and putting chairs on top of them, and throwing out the leftover nachos and snacks left by the very drunk 20 year olds. When he finally makes it back behind the bar to clean up and take inventory it's nearing two am. The order in which Buck cleans behind the bar is unusual to everyone but himself, he believes the most fun part of cleaning should be left to the end of his shift, right before he goes home. So, Buck finishes cleaning all the dishes, takes inventory of all the liquor, and closes any outstanding tabs, cursing at the idiots who didn’t pay because he didn't get a tip from them, and their bills are always the largest out of them all. Finally getting to end his shift on a good note, buck sprays disinfectant onto a clean rag, goes all the way to the left of the bar and runs right, wiping the bar as he runs, until he gets to the far right corner and has to halt to a stop because he sees a half full glass of jack and coke, which he was about to spill on top of a phone. He wonders how he missed a glass, and starts noticing the fact that there’s also a brown leather jacket that looks as if it belongs to someone in the military, and a wallet inside the pocket of it. Buck is aware he prefers the left side of the bar but there is no universe in which he would just miss this many details for this long just because it’s on the far right. It looks like buck definitely gave him a drink but he cannot remember anything about the mystery man who ordered a jack and coke for the life of him.
He grazes the pocket of the jacket to grab the wallet to see if there was some way to get the person's belongings back to him, and as he opens the wallet the ID shows a picture of the most gorgeous man on the planet earth. Edmundo Diaz, Buck wonders if he goes by a nickname too, maybe Diaz, making the two of them match. That doesn’t quite fit though, he doesn’t look like a Diaz, definitely more of an Eddie. Yes, Eddie, the softer kinder nickname. It fits his brown eyes like the last puzzle piece. Buck feels like he knows Eddie just by looking at this photo. Buck feels kind of lost in analyzing the photo, finding out the man is from texas, meaning he probably is not a student, he's only a year older than Buck and is born in November. Until he gets startled by a voice saying hey, which causes Buck to very violently jump to face the man from the picture.
Buck swears he says something to explain himself but apparently he doesnt because the man speaks again and continues to look very fucking confused.
“Uh, what are you doing with my wallet man?” Buck finally takes his voice in, the Texas is hidden in his voice, but when you know what you’re looking for, you can hear it loud and clear.
“Shit Sorry Eddie, I thought you left without it and –” Buck pauses to remember that this man has not introduced himself and could very well not go by the nickname Eddie. Buck ignores how easily the name falls off his lips, to see a hint of a smile on the man's face.
“Eddie? That’s new. Most people call me Diaz” Buck almost notes how he doesn’t look like a ‘Diaz’, how Diaz seems like the name of a serious down to earth person and his eyes are anything but serious. His eyes are the definition of playful and Eddie just, fits. “I’d introduce myself but it looks like you already know everything about me”
“Sorry, I’m Evan, Evan Buckley, god I must be coming off so creepily right now, just uh let me explain, I was just looking for a way to contact you because it looked like you left everything you owned here, including your phone and I probably should have found a way without going through your wallet now that I think about it but I don't usually think before doing.”
Post-rant clarity sets in for Buck and he notices Eddie staring at him with a look Buck can't seem to decipher, making him more anxious, so he opens his mouth to continue to apologize but is interrupted by the texan, who finds this blonde man completely endearing “Do you always talk this much?”, and by itself the question has probably made Buck cry on multiple occasions, but the way it was asked right now was more with the tone of admiration and concern. Like the man in front of him wanted to know if this was Buck's default setting or if he was nervous.
“Yeah, sorry I know it can be annoying.” Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch in slight frustration when he hears another apology, and Buck has to restrain himself from apologizing again. “So uh, where were you? I'm pretty sure I started closing 30 minutes ago and 10 minutes before that there were two people in the bar and you were neither of them.” Eddie’s body weight shifts and he answers that he was in the bathroom because he was just, stressed, and suddenly, taking his head out of his own ass, Buck realizes Eddies eyes are a light red, there are tear stains on his cheeks and he looks exhausted, and it sets in that Eddie had a panic attack. Buck immediately wants to hide in a ditch because of how in-observant he was being.
“Are you alright Edmundo?” Buck almost uses Eddie again, but catches himself this time. Eddie looks down, ashamed of being vulnerable and mumbles that he’s fine and that it was no big deal, Buck does not agree nor does he believe Eddie.
“Ah well, since we’re the last two here, I was going to go back to my apartment, drink a little and eat vanilla chai cookies, If no one’s waiting up for you, you’re welcome to join me, we can talk or watch movies or do whatever you’d like honestly” Buck’s voice is almost weak, he’s expecting to get rejected, but he’d rather try to fix the damning impression he’s left on this man than to give up.
Eddie is overjoyed to hear the invitation, and accepts immediately. “That sounds perfect actually, I’ll wait for you outside and call an uber?”
“Yes.” The word comes out like a plea, anything to spend more time with this man. Anything to learn everything about the man standing in front of him.
Buck does the fastest final touches on closing he’s ever done, fully aware and ignoring the fact that the opening staff will probably hate him. He recognizes the fact that he’s attracted to Eddie but honestly, it looks like Eddie just needs a friend, and that’s all Buck will be for him. The clean up takes about ten minutes and Buck almost forgets to get the keys to his apartment before he leaves and has to run back to the bar to grab them, and finally joins Eddie waiting on the sidewalk for the uber. Eddie looks more relaxed now, smiling in a nervous kind of way, Buck can relate.
“I was scared you left from the back door and abandoned me” Eddie laughs.
“God no, I was scared you'd leave me on this sidewalk alone and get an uber for yourself” Buck replies cheekily.
“You never know, that’s still an option” Buck rolls his eyes at the remark, failing at biting back a smile, Eddie makes everything sound nice. Even leaving Buck on a curb sans uber.
When the uber shows up, the two men get inside and ride back to buck’s apartment together. The ride consists of Eddie admitting that he had a panic attack and explaining what that was like, the two guys make remarks about how they’re talking about things that are normally too hard to say out loud but it's easier with someone they know nothing about, someone that has no expectations.
The apartment seems to be cleaner then what Buck thought he would be walking back into, and he silently thanks god that he shoved all the clothes he left on his desk into his closet before leaving for his shift at the bar. Conversation with Eddie flows naturally, and without fully registering it Buck is making drinks and asking Eddie about the wedding band on his finger, and Eddie is telling buck everything while he orders the vanilla chai cookies.
“Her name’s Shannon, she was my best friend in highschool and after she got pregnant we got married. There was no big proposal, it was just expected of us. We got pregnant, we needed to get married. It’s not that I regret it, but I definitely was not ready for that, so I joined the army. Shannon hates me for it, even though she won't say so. I know that she thinks I abandoned them and I think I did too, but I wasn’t ready, and I’m going back now. I’m ready now.” Eddie takes the drink Buck offers, and realizes he missed Buck shaking the drink together and silently berates himself for missing a chance to stare at those god-like bartender arms, then berates himself for thinking about Buck's arms.
“It’s an overall bad situation huh? I mean I get it from her perspective too though, you know the whole being left thing. It’s my trademark. Can’t remember the last time someone stayed for any reason apart from being family.” Buck catches himself from completely interrupting and reversing what Eddie's rant is about.
“Yeah, bad situation. I feel bad, but the only way to fix anything is to move forward, I plan on being the opposite of my dad.” Eddie shrugs, as they move to the couch and cuddle with the cushions while they continue to talk.
“Oh you have daddy issues too? And here I thought I was special” Buck teases.
“Ew, don't call it that.” Eddie says incredulously.
“But that's what they are! Issues coming from the guy you called daddy as a kid” This causes a head tilt from Eddie and a “Evan please, be serious” in between breathy laughs. Buck pauses at Eddie using his name, that was the first time Eddie had said it after Buck had introduced himself. Without thinking, he’s correcting Eddie. “Buck.”
“What?”
“Call me Buck. It’s what I call myself in my inner monologue, I just think it's cooler than Evan” Eddie looks like he wants to ask questions about it, but realizes he has been calling Buck ‘Buck’ in his head since he met him too.
“Oh okay. I forgot to mention this before but uh, you can call me Eddie. It’s new. I like it”
“Alright Eddie, tell me about your father figure complication”
Eddie sighs, shakes his head and starts to talk about being told to ‘be a man’ at the ripe age of ten years old, how he was the man of the house because his dad was never there, and somehow it turns into why he hates the names Diaz and Edmundo. “Sometimes I think Diaz is who I am when I have to be incharge, in control of my surroundings. It’s when I put on a mask I don't identify with in the slightest, Diaz has it together. Diaz is the man my father wants me to be, and he’s the one that went to the army. Then Edmundo is what everyone thinks I am unapologetically, but in reality Edmundo is a boring guy, he’s the absent father and forced husband and not who I want to be.”
“Huh. Then Eddie’s perfect”
“Don’t go giving yourself too much credit Buck-y” Eddie jokes.
“Well, when I saw your ID, I guessed you were a fun person, someone that knew how to let go and have the time of his life without thinking. Your eyes give off this safeness that doesn't come with the names Edmundo or Diaz, Unless you want to be called mun-mun, Eddie is perfect for you in a way that most people are not fortunate enough to find.”
Eddie pauses and stares at the man in front of him and sips on his drink. Fruitier than his regular jack and coke, but he can't remember what it is. “I guess it is. What about you Buck? What are your father figure complications?” And before Buck can answer, the doorbell rings.
“Ha. Saved by the bell!” Buck smiles as he jumps up off the couch and runs to get the door.
“The cookies!” Buck exclaims as he runs back around the couch with a box full of 6 cookies that look exactly the same, all plain looking cookies with something that looked like cinnamon mixed into them with white frosting on top. Buck wastes no time, and starts eating one, only pausing to tell Eddie that there might be an even number of cookies in the box, but he is not guaranteed 50% of them if he doesn’t start eating them, which incentivises Eddie to get out of shock and eat a cookie. It might be the best damn cookie he has ever eaten, but he refuses to tell Buck that. Eddie waits for Buck to finish his first cookie before he continues to grill him.
“What’s with these fancy ass cookies, you don't like a classic chocolate chip? And father figure complications. Go. This is starting to feel like a therapy session so you’ve got to trauma dump too. Start speaking sir.”
“Well, Mr. Eddie, the cookies and father figure complications are intertwined”
“Oooh, interesting, tell me more Mr. Buck”
Buck tells Eddie everything, spending his childhood wanting to be taken seriously by his parents, everything he did being a joke or ignored unless he was hurt. His dad would buy him new things every time he got hurt. The first he could remember was falling off a bike that didn't seem to be his, which ended with a brand new bike for Buck. He talks about everything that went on with Maddie. How when Buck got hurt for attention Maddie would make vanilla chai cookies and give them to Buck, and that they were the only connection he had left to his sister because he hasn't heard from her in ages and how much he misses her. “God, I can't imagine not talking to my sisters for longer than when I was in the military. They would literally hunt me down”
“Maddies in.. a situation with her husband right now. He doesn't really like me, so she’s not allowed to talk to me. I send her postcards so she knows I’m okay every couple weeks.” Buck doesn't say it explicitly, but Eddie picks up on what he’s implying.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. Is there any way you can help her?”
“No, I don't know. I feel guilty that I haven't tried.”
“It’s not your responsibility to save her Buck”
“But I should be trying, you know? She’s struggling and im in fucking Peru making drinks for college students. I should at least be trying.”
Eddie sighs. It feels like the world has found every impossible situation and given it to either Eddie or Buck. He moves closer to Buck so that their knees are touching and eventually hugs him.
Buck sinks into the hug, and he realizes that this must be the purpose of Eddie's arms. Holding Buck. It feels so right. It feels so perfect right where they are.
They spend the whole night eating the cookies and talking about anything and everything in their lives. Buck learns about Christopher, and they spend hours looking at pictures and videos of Chris and Buck declares Christopher to be his favorite child in the world. Buck and Eddie both feel like they’re both in a state of pure content, the next couple hours together are the most memorable for the both of them.
There’s a point at near seven am where Buck finally passes out, and Eddie realizes that his flight leaves in 3 hours, so he picks himself up, goes to the bakery that buck got the vanilla cookies from, orders 12 of them, asks for the recipe, and heads to the airport, and flies back to Shannon and Christopher.
Buck wakes up hours later, hoping to find Eddie somewhere in his apartment, and he doesn't. After all the opening up that buck did last night, he had hoped that Eddie wouldn’t leave like everyone else did. He was wrong. Again.
They both kick themselves mentally for their fatal flaws
Buck was abandoned by someone he trusted, again.
And Eddie abandoned someone he didn't want to leave, again.
They both made the vow to never talk about that night again. It was sacred and enraging and peaceful. It was their secret place, a place they hated but the only place they could truly find solace. An apartment in Peru that they would never see again.