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F*ck Around and Find Out

Summary:

At sixteen, Hermione Granger was told that having children would be difficult, if not impossible. At twenty-eight, she's ecstatic when she discovers, against all odds, she's expecting. The only problem? Is Draco Malfoy or Theodore Nott her child's father...

Notes:

Chapter 1: Peanut Butter

Chapter Text

 

The day had already been much too long. The Wizengamot turned down his proposal for the funding he’d needed to secure to move forward with the project he’d worked on for the last six months. His boss had taken all the work- the research, the data, the participants, everything- and tossed it in the bin. 

 

It wasn’t as if he couldn’t personally fund whatever he felt like doing because he easily could. However, working for the Department of Mysteries had restrictions, and every knut had to be accounted for. There was no more going off and doing whatever he felt like; it was all checks and balances. 

 

After growing up with a father who was determined to control and destroy everything, Theo Nott dedicated his life to giving freedom to those who had been denied it in the past. 

 

Werewolves, specifically. All the potion advancements had been unsuccessful in his department, and Theo had a theory that would change the world. A time-turner that could be used to pinpoint and reverse the lycanthropy in their DNA.

 

“Honey, I’m home,” he called out, tossing his coat onto the bench under the rack. He toed at his shoes and stepped away into the sitting room of the little flat he and Draco had been living in for the last year. 

 

“In the kitchen,” he heard Draco respond, and Theo went straight for the pantry. “How was your day?” his boyfriend asked, standing at the island, flipping through the paper and not even looking up at Theo when he entered. 

 

“It was a bloody nightmare,” Theo murmured, moving around the healthy cereal and the crisps Draco always bought, even though neither of them ate it. 

 

“That sucks,” Draco replied, licking his finger and flipping the page. “Anything in particular happen, though?”

 

“Tiberius denied my funding. Hey, do you know where the peanut butter is?” Theo asked, standing up when even an accio did not produce his creamy, dreamy, high-protein, high-fat, and high-sugar treat. Draco thought it was disgusting, but after a long day, Theo was ready to grab a spoon and eat the rest of the jar. 

 

“I made peanut butter biscuits and ran out,” Draco said, finally looking up from his paper. His gaze flickered over to Theo’s coat and shoes not put away, a scowl settling on his face when he noticed. “Mind picking up after yourself?” he asked, nodding toward the mess.

 

“Yeah, after I have a biscuit,” Theo grumbled, looking around the kitchen for the plate that should be sitting out if Draco had just made them earlier that day.  

 

“I took them to my mother's. We had tea with some of her friends, and there weren’t any left,” Draco stated, coming around the island, his eyes flickering back to the coat. “Is it so hard to put your jacket on the hook after you’ve taken it off or set your shoes out of the way so I don’t trip on them?”

 

“Is it so hard not to use up my entire jar of peanut butter?” Theo snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and widening his stance. He was a few inches and a stone or two bigger than Draco. It was easy to look down at him, but Draco still had a way about him that made Theo feel small. 

 

“It was nearly empty, only enough for me to make a dozen biscuits,” Draco explained, looking down his nose at Theo. “I’m sorry you had a shit day, but that’s no reason to take it out on me, especially when I didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“Nothing wrong? I just wanted to eat the rest of my peanut butter, and I can’t do that because you wanted to make bloody cookies to take to your mummy’s tea party!” Theo snapped, reaching over and swiping the newspaper on the island, causing the pages to scatter around the room. “What the fuck, Draco?”

 

“Don’t you speak to me that way!”

 

And that’s how it always seemed to go with the two of them. Draco didn’t work; despite having top NEWT scores, he was too afraid of rejection to apply because of the dark mark tattooed on his left arm. The only places he ever went were to see his probation officer and mother. 

 

On the other hand, Theo had gotten into a ministry position after the war, and they’d funded his mastery of charms. The DOM, as it turned out, cared very little about someone’s history as long as they could produce the results that the department wanted. However, Theo was now stuck in a contract in a job he hated for another three years.

 

As Theo looked down at his boyfriend of two years, he couldn’t seem to force himself to do it anymore. The constant fighting had worn away at him until he felt nothing but contempt when he looked at Draco. 

 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

 

“Do what? Clean up after yourself?” Draco asked, mimicking Theo’s stance and cocking his head. “Well, I’m not your maid, so fuck all if you think I’m about to do it.”

 

“No, I can’t…” Theo backed away, shaking his head. Turning around, he headed toward the door, picking up his coat and slipping his shoes back onto his feet. Theo opened the door without a backward glance and left Draco and his relationship behind.