Chapter Text
Chapter 1 Fleeting
Becca cannot help but stare. Freen is standing in front of her donned in an all black pant suit, looking pensive and at peace as she looks out into the darkness, grasping onto the railings of the balcony of their hotel room overlooking the ocean. The wind was blowing against her face, her hair being carried off behind her by the gentle breeze of the sea. A small smile graces Becca’s face. It’s been a while since she last saw Freen.
Becca looks at her watch, 9:00 pm. “It’s starting,” Becca says softly, almost a whisper. Freen hears her and turns to her curiously.
“What’s starting?,” Freen asks, brows furrowing from confusion.
Becca gets up from her seat and stands next to Freen urging the older girl to look out onto the sea.
Then before Freen’s eyes, fireworks fly off a wooden barge in the middle of the ocean, something she just noticed when the brightness of the fireworks illuminated what was utter darkness a few moments ago. Freen starts to hear music going along with the fireworks show. It was probably the biggest fireworks display Freen has witnessed so far and it has just begun.
Freen turns to Becca with a delighted smile on her face and asks “What is this?,”.
“It’s a Fireworks Festival,” Becca replies simply.
“So that’s why you brought me here,” Freen says, turning back to the magnificent display of fireworks before her.
“Yep,”.
“I thought you just wanted to try to bed me,” Freen teases, bumping her shoulder with Becca.
“Ha! You wish!,” Becca smartly retorts.
Becca would never, she thinks. Freen was her best friend, her sister as she often said in the past, and married. But they did use to tease each other flirtatiously this way years back, especially after Becca confessed to Freen that she had more than platonic feelings for the older woman- a confession that Freen never seemed to take seriously.
Both of them turn their gaze back to the fireworks show before them, falling into comfortable silence. Becca would hear Freen gasp and chuckle at the sight before her, obviously fascinated by the show.
It really was magnificent and awe-inspiring how bright colors of yellow, blue, red, white, green, and everything in between shoot up into the sky, then explode into a rain of light. There were too many things happening at once, the brights were a stark contrast to the deep dark of the starless sky while music was booming in perfect cadence with the explosion of the fireworks. The patterns and the shapes of the lights, both discernible and abstract at the same time, dance with gracious movement before the eyes of the two onlookers. The entire thing was both tumultuous and wondrous, much like the complicated relationship between the two women currently engrossed in the display.
Freen inches closer to Becca and leans her head on Becca’s shoulder.
“Thank you for this, it has been too long since someone has done something nice for me,” Freen whispers to the other girl.
“I better get your husband on the phone and teach him how to treat you better,” Becca replies jokingly.
“Be my guest,” Freen replies with a scoff, sadness evident in her voice. She was probably joking, or probably wanting to tell Becca so much by it.
It had been 5 years since they last saw each other, Becca was 22 then and Freen was 26. They have always had this invisible pull between them that has been powerful and compelling ever since their friendship began. And even at present, it was still very much evident, very much unstoppable. Almost by instinct, Becca wraps her arm around Freen’s waist and Freen just presses her body closer to Becca.
They stay like that the entire duration of the fireworks show, Freen’s head on Becca’s shoulder and Becca holding Freen closely and tightly by the waist as if she’s scared that Freen would just vanish into thin air if she did not hold tight enough.
Shocking Becca, Freen turns in her embrace and faces her. She buries her face in the crook of Becca’s neck and pulls Becca tightly by the waist with both of her arms.
“Thank you, you have no idea how much you made me happy tonight,” Freen mumurs against Becca’s neck.
Becca really did go all in for Freen that night. 5 years ago, she left Bangkok to finish her studies in the UK. After graduating, she then began her career in the UK. A couple of years in, she thought she might consider going back to Bangkok, but upon news of Freen getting married, creating a life in Bangkok was not so appealing to Becca anymore. She knew from the start that Freen never reciprocated the feelings she had, but life just seemed easier if she was not there to witness Freen giving someone else the love she wanted to possess for so long, so Becca chose not to come back.
Becca turns to Freen and returns the embrace.
Becca was back in Bangkok for 6 weeks visiting family and friends, and of course she had to see Freen. Becca took her to one of the best restaurants in Bangkok and she had her driver bring them to Pattaya in the evening for the Fireworks Festival. Becca wanted to wine and dine Freen, to make her swoon, to make it known to her what she was missing. She wore a skin tight black Balenciaga dress with a sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps. The length falls mid leg, but the singular slit goes up to middle of her thigh. Her hair falls in soft wavy curls, her make up was light yet fierce. She wanted to show Freen how much she’ve grown, how much of a woman she is now. Then, she got a room with a balcony facing the ocean in one of the high rise hotels in Pattaya to have the best view of the fireworks shows.
Freen inhales the comforting scent of Becca while she nuzzles her nose and cheeks against Becca’s neck. This sort of intimacy came naturally and quite often to them when they were younger, but Becca still shivers at the feeling. What was so usual then is now an exquisite rare delicacy that Becca has not tasted for years.
“It has been so long since I have been this close to another person,” Freen hums to Becca, her voice hushed like revealing a secret.
“Why, your husband hasn’t been touching you?,” Becca inquires in jest, even laughing nervously at the awkward quip. But she really was just trying to keep light of the situation so she can quell the heat starting to crawl throughout her body.
“We can’t stand each other, I can’t even remember the last time I was within a meter of him,” Freen replies quietly, but Becca can hear a hint of hatred in her statement.
“Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it,” Becca asks in concern while she draws circles with her hand in the small of Freen’s back.
“No, I don’t wanna ruin this with the thought of him,” Freen replies with a sigh. Her body relaxes after that statement and she leans completely against Becca.
The next fireworks show is starting. Music is booming and the sky is being illuminated once again by a grand display of lights, but neither women are paying attention to it. They are so caught in the intimacy of their embrace that they would rather revel at the beauty of their own moment. The fireworks were outshone by the heat radiating between the two women, the music drowned out by the thundering of their heartbeats.
Moments like this with Freen for Becca are like fireworks- amazing, breathtaking, yet fleeting. They often had tender and intimate moments like this before, but then Becca would be violently yanked away from the bliss of the moment by the truth that Freen said she only sees her as a sister.
But that evening, Becca feels defiant, she feels uninhibited. Maybe it was from the few glasses of wine she had during dinner, or maybe it was the fleeting nature of that moment that Becca was urged to make the most of it. Driven by a deep-seated longing, Becca drops a kiss on Freen’s neck, and to both their surprise, it elicits a moan from Freen. Becca can’t help but groan in response, pleasantly surprised and absolutely turned on by the sound Freen made.
Encouraged by Freen’s reaction, Becca starts kissing Freen’s neck softly, slowly, seductively, and Freen’s hand moves to the back of her head to pull her closer. Feeling bolder by how Freen is egging her on, Becca bites Freen’s neck, nibbling on it gently and soothing it with a slow drag of her tongue.
“Do you still love me?,” Freen pants out hoarsely in between ragged breaths while she extends her neck giving more room for Becca to ravish her.
The question was met with silence from the younger woman. Instead of answering, Becca pulls Freen closer by her waist with one arm and tugs at her hair with her other hand to give herself more access to Freen’s slender neck that she has now started to aggressively suck on.
Not being satisfied with the lack of response, Freen asks again, “Do you?,”.
Rebecca stops her ministrations much to Freen’s annoyance, pulls away from Freen’s neck and looks at Freen dead in the eyes.
“It doesn’t matter if I do, because you never did,” Becca answers frankly.
“I….Bec… I,” Freen trails. Freen appears like she wanted to say something as she cups Rebecca’s cheek with her hand while her eyes beg Rebecca, implore Rebecca.
Rebecca puts her hand on top of Freen’s on her cheek and leans against it.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to,” Becca says softly with a sad smile. Becca lets out a deep breath and just studies Freen’s face earnestly. They stay quiet for quite some time, just staring at each other, trying to convey through their eyes what their hearts want to say.
“But do you need this?,” Becca breathes out eyebrows shooting up in question. It was almost a whisper, it was as if she was ashamed to ask it.
Freen breath hitches at the question, her eyes going wide. Struggle was evident in her face because they both know what Becca was asking. Becca recognizes very well the hesitation in Freen’s face.
“Becca, I don’t want to hurt you,” Freen strains out, her voice almost breaking. She closes her eyes tightly as tears threaten to fall, her head shakes lightly at the ridiculousness of what might happen.
“Use me,” Becca replies defiantly, her hands pulling Freen closer by the lapels of her suit, making their entire bodies flush against each other.
With Becca’s response, Freen’s round eyes widen in shock, in wonder, in astonishment.
“Use me as you please,” Rebecca begs.