Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Baekhyun.”

“Dr. Myeong, nice to meet you.” Her grip was firm as she shook his hand and she offered him a polite smile. One which Baekhyun half-heartedly returned, he did not want to be here.

She was maybe half a decade older than him, looking well put together with her dark hair in a sleek bun, well-manicured nails and artfully arched eyebrows. The room they were in was purposely kept bare. The only thing setting it apart were the floor to ceiling windows offering a breath-taking view of the bustling city beneath them. They were quite high up, Baekhyun wondered what happened to clients with a fear of heights.
His team purposefully sought out a psychologist who was able to speak Korean, in an effort to offer him maximum comfort. Being here made him uncomfortable, whether the person in front of him spoke Korean, English or Hungarian. It was all because of Chanyeol that he was forced to visit a sport psychologist. He was the reason they crashed and both ended up having to go to the hospital. Chanyeol had ruined everything he had worked so hard for.

Baekhyun settled in a black faux-leather chair, the armrest too thin to offer him any comfort. His gaze shifted to Myeong, who was watching him from behind her light wooden desk, pen in hand.

“Tell me Baekhyun, what do you want to achieve from our sessions together?”

Baekhyun sighed deeply, he hadn’t given that much thought. He expected to come here, complain about Chanyeol and then leave. “I don’t know,” he admitted, playing with the hexagonal pendant on his golden necklace.

“There has to be something you want to change about the current situation you’re in. I can’t imagine it being an enjoyable working environment, if you and your closest colleague are always at each other’s throats.” Dark brown eyes bore into his, it was as if she saw straight through him. He shifted around in his seat and averted his gaze. If phrased like that, Myeong was correct. Coming to work and being confronted by Chanyeol’s presence was something he had come to dread.

“It’s not my fault,” he muttered. He had done some questionable things, but never without reason. It was always after Chanyeol had been an unreasonable asshole.

“I don’t care whose fault it is. I want to know how this constant arguing started, so we can try to find a solution.” It felt like being scolded by a teacher, he was being treated unfairly. However, he knew that if he kept being stubborn that meant he had to be here far longer than he wanted to. Better pretend like he agreed and start explaining what happened.

“It wasn’t always like this. We used to be best friends,” he admitted lowly, it hurt him to say this.

Myeong nodded and scribbled something down on her notepad. “Tell me more.”

Baekhyun vividly remembered the day he first met Chanyeol. It had been raining all morning, he was somewhere in Northern Europe. With every old city packed full with history and people speaking a strange sounding foreign language, he couldn’t distinguish them anymore. It might have been Belgium, it might have been the Netherlands. He had just finished the karting race in first place, which meant he was now also P1 in the junior karting championship.
While his father busied himself oiling his kart, he polished his helmet. There was a big tent set up next to the karting track, with every racer busing themselves with their own equipment.

At twelve, Baekhyun was easily beating kids three years older than him, despite those children having more experience. He was a natural talent after all. At least, that is what he was told repeatedly by every adult he met. Children between twelve and fifteen had their own junior karting tournament. Afterwards, if they were good enough and managed to gather enough sponsors, they could go on to race in single seaters. That was all in the future, now Baekhyun was looking forward to watching kids under twelve race. All of them frantically trying to ready their carts on the other side of the tent.

Except for one kid, who was standing right in front of him.

“You are Baekhyun, right?” He spoke in Korean. Baekhyun spotted the South-Korean flag on his racing suit. He had never seen another Korean on track, most other racers were European. The boy in front of him had big, brown eyes and his ears stuck out in an adorable matter.

“Yes, what is your name?”

“My name is Chanyeol,” the boy answered, holding out his hand for Baekhyun to shake. And so he did, with much enthusiasm.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chanyeol. I’m kind of tired of speaking English all the time,” Baekhyun admitted. Almost everyone in his competition had someone who they could speak their native language to. Not Baekhyun, he was the only Asian kid in his group. His jet black locks sticking out like a sore thumb between all the blonde and brown mops of hair.

“Me too! But if you want to get to Formula 1, it’s good to speak English. I heard from my mum that it’s mandatory there.”

“That’s true, at least we get to practice our skills. You want to get to Formula 1 too?”

“Of course! Isn’t that everyone’s goal?”

That much was true. Every single kid in karting had a dream to get to the pinnacle of motorsport, Formula 1. Where athletes became legends. Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to become the first South-Korean Formula 1 World Champion.

Chanyeol continued. “I also want to be as good as you.” He looked up at Baekhyun with red cheeks.

“Thank you. How about I watch your race and maybe I can give you tips?” Baekhyun offered.

That was, as it turned out, the beginning of their friendship. Chanyeol had fetched his mother and Baekhyun his dad, they forced their parents to exchange numbers so they could remain in contact through them.

The next time they met, Baekhyun was certain it was in England. They hung their flag everywhere and it was raining yet again. He heard Chanyeol before he saw him, the latter running up behind him and shouting his name. When Baekhyun turned around, he looked hesitant, probably unsure if they were good enough friends to hug yet. Baekhyun took that decision for him, and wrapped his arms around the other boy.

“Long time no see. Did your front tooth fall out?”

Chanyeol puffed his cheeks out. ‘’Yes, it’s the last one. My dad keeps making fun of it.’’

With his pointy ears and the gap between his front teeth, it did make him look a little goofy.

They chatted some more until his father came to get him. It was almost time to start the race. Racing in wet weather was something Baekhyun excelled at, so he was excited to get in his kart. Before he put down the visor of his helmet, he saw Chanyeol waving at him, while his dad gave him the thumbs up. As the kart roared alive underneath him, he felt motivated to win like never before. After Chanyeol had confessed that he looked up to him, he wanted to live up to that reputation.

After the first few turns, the competition was transformed into nothing more than little dots in his mirrors. He came in first, by almost a minute. Something hardly anyone had ever done before. The trophy he received was almost an afterthought as he saw Chanyeol beaming up at him as he stood on the top step of the podium.

Later on the day, Chanyeol showed what he was made of, pulling off an amazing overtake manoeuvre for the lead of the race. Baekhyun found himself cheering on the side-lines, despite knowing that due to the sound of the engine of the kart, Chanyeol could not hear him.
He ran to hug Chanyeol when he crossed the finish line in first place.

They were sitting under a big towel as they compared their first place trophies. Baekhyun’s was slightly taller. “They get even bigger once you get to Formula 3,” Baekhyun told Chanyeol.

“I can’t wait to-”

“Baekhyun,” His father yelled from the other side of the tent. Next to him stood a tall man, with dark brown hair and a crooked nose. He was wearing a red dress shirt with the prancing horse logo of Ferrari. “There is someone that would like to meet you,” his father continued in English.

Baekhyun eyes widened. The Ferrari logo had him take a big gulp of air before setting his trophy down and sprinting in the direction of the two men. The guy with the Ferrari shirt offered his big hand and told him his name.

“Alessio Pastore, nice to meet you, Baekhyun,” the man told him in what Baekhyun had come to recognise as an Italian accent.

Ferrari is the most successful Formula 1 team. They had the most wins, most podiums, an incredibly history and loyal fanbase. They often scouted young talent to get in their sponsored cars for the Formula 3 and Formula 2 championships. Those were the so called ‘feeder series’. If a young driver managed to prove themselves in those years, there was a big chance you could get a seat in a Formula 1 car. Since he had been old enough to know what the team represented, there had been a Ferrari flag hung above his bed.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Baekhyun answered Alessio shyly, eyes zeroed in on the Ferrari logo on his chest.

“Now, I’ve been speaking to your father, and we wanted to let you know that we’ve been keeping an eye on you. Despite me be being unable to offer you a Formula 3 seat because of your age, we would still like to offer you a pre-contract. That means that if you keep your results up, in four to five years you are guaranteed a seat in a Ferrari sponsored Formula 3 team. Is that something you would like?”

Baekhyun felt dizzy, this was a dream come true. He knew he had the talent to keep winning. He didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes, I would love that! ”

The contract talk was undertaken by Baekhyun’s father, but when he was handed a pen he eagerly signed. With his copy of the contract in hand, he ran towards Chanyeol to tell him the news.

“A pre-contract with Ferrari? Baekhyun, that is awesome! You deserve it.” Chanyeol laced their fingers together. “I can’t believe I’m friends with a Ferrari driver!”

“Not so fast, I’m not a driver yet, I still have to continue to prove myself. In karting , Formula 3 and 2.”

Chanyeol shook his head violently. “No need to worry, you can do it. You’re the most talented driver I know.”

“How many drivers do you know?” Baekhyun deadpanned.

“Like thirty or something,” Chanyeol huffed out. “Am I the best driver you know?”

Chanyeol had shown a lot of promise, he was like a diamond in the rough. Baekhyun was almost certain he could make it to Formula 1, too. “Yes. Maybe one day we’ll be teammates in Ferrari.”

At fifteen, Baekhyun stood on the top step for the umpteenth time. He raised the first place trophy above his head, looking down at the people clapping for him. Amongst the crowd he spotted Chanyeol, wearing a broad smile on his face. Every time they saw each other, Baekhyun was surprised by how tall the other had grown. He had freshly turned twelve and was already catching up to Baekhyun in terms of hight. In terms of accomplishments too. He'd seen the statistics, Chanyeol had now won more races in the junior karting championship that he did. People tended to compare them often, because they were still the only South Korean racers.

Once he got down from the podium, Chanyeol clapped him on his back. “Amazing job out there, you will be in Formula 3 in no time.”

Baekhyun surely hoped so. So far, the Ferrari sponsored seat was still on, he had more than proven himself. “Thank you. I’m sure you’re easily going to win your race too,” Baekhyun responded, bumping his fist against Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“No doubt about it. That will mean I beat your record of race wins in the junior series,” Chanyeol told him jovially. Baekhyun was convinced that he didn’t mean to brag, but the statement still caused heat to stir in his stomach. He tried not to spend his time concerned over other racer’s achievements, but the comment stung. His hand curled tightly around his first place trophy as he calmed himself down. Such a small thing was nothing to get angry about.

“Well, we both had very different seasons. You cannot truly compare two racers unless they drive the same car,” he shrugged. There were races where he was first while his engine stopped working, totally out of his control. Just because Chanyeol’s kart was more reliable didn’t mean he was a better racer.

“That’s true. We will compare statistics once we become Ferrari teammates,” That dream was still alive and well between the two of them. Chanyeol continued. “Although I haven’t been approached by them yet, though I’m the same age as you were when it happened.” His shoulders sagged when he admitted this to Baekhyun. It was clear that this had been plaguing his thoughts.

Baekhyun placed his trophy on the ground and put his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders. “I’m sure there will be an offer for you soon. Let’s worry about the future later and play FIFA in my trailer.”

That seemed to cheer Chanyeol up and they raced to Baekhyun’s trailer on the parking lot. Baekhyun being older, beat Chanyeol to it. They quickly climbed inside and booted up Baekhyun’s PlayStation.

The trailer was small yet cosy. It was equipped with a kitchen, toilet and shower. Next to the kitchen were two brown couches, pushed against each other. Across from the largest couch was the TV connected to the PlayStation, the screen just big enough to see everything when sitting on the couch.

Chanyeol had come around so often that he didn’t even need to ask before he grabbed a controller. Baekhyun even considered it, ‘Chanyeol’s controller’, seeing as he was the only one aside from his father that had been to his trailer. While Chanyeol had his own trailer, his mother’s refusal to buy him a game console made them always go to Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyun always picked Manchester United, Chanyeol always picked Real Madrid.

“Why do you always pick that shit team?” Baekhyun teased.

“Says you,” Chanyeol huffed. There was some shoving and elbowing before the match began and they were fully concentrated.

“Yes!” Baekhyun screamed as the goal he scored in the last couple of seconds crowned him the winner. Chanyeol pouted, let his controller fall on the couch and dramatically flung himself on the ground. It made Baekhyun bark out a laugh.

“You are such a sore loser,” Baekhyun spoke in a light tone. Because Chanyeol did not get up, he decided to put his feet on his back. “If you don’t get up, I’m going to use you as my personal foot stool.”

This got Chanyeol moving, turning around, grabbing one of Baekhyun’s legs and attempting to bite him. Baekhyun tried to quickly extract his leg from his grip, yelling at him to stop. Instead, Chanyeol headbutted his leg and got back on the couch like nothing happened.

“Weirdo,” Baekhyun called him affectionately.

“Yet we are still friends,” Chanyeol concluded.

“We are.”

Months passed when Chanyeol’s mother thought her son to be old enough for a mobile phone, greatly simplifying their communication without bothering their parents to send each other messages. The first night after Chanyeol texted him, they stayed up late spamming each other stupid photos and videos. They chatted almost every day, between the times they saw each other on track. Tonight, Baekhyun felt just texting did not suffice, and moved his finger to the call button. Chanyeol picked up almost immediately.

“Do you miss my voice that much?” Baekhyun could picture Chanyeol’s wide smile as he spoke.

“Shut up,” he bit back.

“Not much fun about calling if I can’t talk,” came the sarcastic answer from the other end of the line. “Anyway, it was about time I got a phone. I’m twelve, old enough to text people myself.”

“I agree, your mum is so strict with this kind of stuff. But I guess she just wants to protect you.”

“Right, protect me from what? It can get kind of annoying.”

“Protect you from texting all night? Like we did literally one week ago,” Baekhyun laughed out. His dad always told him to be a good example to Chanyeol, seeing as he was three years older. But what did they expect, texting was fun and one night less sleep wouldn’t kill him.

“You contributed to that as much as I did,” Chanyeol huffed out.

Baekhyun was about to respond when Chanyeol chimed in again. “I need to tell you something, but I can’t do it over the phone. We should meet up at your trailer before training next week.”

That got Baekhyun excited. “Of course, is it something good?”

“Very good.”

Once his father had parked the trailer, Baekhyun flew out of the passenger seat. He had already spotted Chanyeol waiting for him and ran towards him. They hugged briefly before Baekhyun, jittery with excitement, asked him what he wanted to tell him.

“I got approached by a Formula 1 team,” Chanyeol blurted out, shoving a contract close to Baekhyun’s face. He grabbed the piece of paper and let his eyes roam over the jumble of English words. His reading skills had improved significantly, so he understood enough to feel disappointed. Written on the pre-contract stood that if Chanyeol kept racing the way he did, he would have a seat in a Mercedes sponsored Formula 3 team. Baekhyun felt his face fall, before rapidly correcting himself by putting on a broad smile.

“A pre-contract with Mercedes, that is amazing.” Baekhyun tried his best to sound enthusiastic. But Chanyeol knew him better than that. His big eyes bore into Baekhyun’s, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

“You are not happy for me?” Disappointment laced Chanyeol’s voice.

Baekhyun shook his head, hoping the negative thoughts would fall out of his brain that way. “No, of course I am. I just thought that you would get a contract with Ferrari too. But Mercedes is a really good team.”

“I know, it’s not like I can magically make a Ferrari contract appear.” Chanyeol’s tone didn’t indicate he was telling a joke. It felt like a punch to the gut to have his friend frown at him. That was an expression Baekhyun only saw after Chanyeol had a bad race, never had it been directed at him. He knew he should have reacted differently, but he couldn’t help but be let down by what might lead to them not driving in Ferrari together.

“Did you try and call Ferrari?”

Chanyeol sighed deeply. “Yes, but getting them on the line is not that easy. I want to drive for them too, but they haven’t tried to contact me. Besides, Mercedes is clearly interested, so who am I to say no?”

“You’re right. We can be successful in different teams.”

Chanyeol rolled up his contract and hit the top of Baekhyun’s head with it. “We are still going to be teammates in Ferrari, idiot. This is just a way for me to get to Formula 3.”

How had Chanyeol become the mature one in this situation? Baekhyun looked at his friend sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I should be happy for you regardless. Congratulations, even if it isn’t with Ferrari, we will see each other in Formula 1.”

Maybe once Baekhyun had made his way to his dream team, he could convince Ferrari to hire Chanyeol too. It wasn’t as if he was lacking talent.

Baekhyun went on to become the first South Korean to win his karting championship, Chanyeol the second. Every time he moved up to a new championship, there was more press asking him questions. He had yet to get used to the intrusion, but answered all questions as best he could. The journalist were only trying to get an interview with budding talent. Because once you reached the pinnacle of motorsport, you were far too busy to sit down with some local newspaper.

“How does it feel being the first South Korean to win in a European championship?” The reporter shoved a strange looking microphone in his face.

“It feels good. I can’t wait to be the first Korean to win the Formula 3 championship too.”

The reporter laughed at his answer. If he were honest, Baekhyun had gotten tired of that question, but it also made him feel proud at the same time. He could be the one to make his homeland proud, representing them where no one had before. Not a lot of people could say that.

“Now that Chanyeol has won the junior karting championship with more victories than you, are you afraid that he’s going to steal attention away from you?”

That question made Baekhyun stop in his tracks. There it was again, the heat pooling in his stomach. Why did people feel the need to compare the two of them constantly? They hadn’t even raced at the same time before. So what Chanyeol had won more, the engine in his kart was probably better than his had been. Not that he would ever say any of this out loud. It was best to remain polite.

“We are friends, so I am actually proud that he managed to do that. Though he can never be the first because of me,” he added light-heartedly. The journalist clearly had more to ask him, but he was whisked away by his father.

When Chanyeol had asked him to hang out after both their celebrations had concluded, he lied and said he had a headache. The interview still left him feeling uneasy. So instead, he spent the evening researching their respective statistics on his phone. Yes, Chanyeol had won more, but Baekhyun DNFed more races. All either because of mechanical failures or over-eager competitors crashing him out. Chanyeol had made more overtakes, but overall Baekhyun had qualified better.

He rewatched one of the videos he took of Chanyeol racing, muting it once he heard his own voice shrieking encouragements. The kart really came alive once Chanyeol was behind the steering wheel, almost as if the vehicle was an extension of his body. Whereas Baekhyun preferred taking corners smoothly, Chanyeol steered in a little earlier to get a faster exit. They were so different, both talented in their own way. Yes, that was the conclusion of Baekhyun’s little research. The unease had subsided, replaced by guilt that he had doubted himself.

He sighed as he laid his head on his pillow. The bright red of the Ferrari flag a stark contrast to the white walls. He reached out to touch the flag, being just out of reach as he laid down. Just like his career, he was almost there.

As the season end and the long winter break started, Baekhyun returned his attention to his schooling. Yet there were always a couple of weeks where he was allowed to hang out with Chanyeol. Despite not being in his own house, being in Korea, speaking his native language, he felt more at home than at any karting circuit. The both of them were forced to go outside after Chanyeol’s father had scolded them for being on the computer for far too long. Chanyeol’s parents were very kind, but ordering them outside when Chanyeol had recently turned fourteen was a bit ridiculous. They were sitting on the low wall next to Chanyeol’s house, talking shit about other karters that annoyed them. The door of the house swung open and rushing out came Chanyeol’s mother, holding their housephone.

“Baekhyun, your father needs to talk to you, it’s urgent.”

With shaky hands, Baekhyun accepted the phone, Chanyeol’s mother busied herself rubbing his shoulders. What could this call be about that caused her to act like this? Chanyeol looked at him, eyes filled with concern. He brought the phone close to his ear.

“Dad?”

“Baekhyun, I simply can’t wait to tell you. You have officially been promoted to Formula 3. You can start testing in February with Ferrari’s sponsor team. Prema!” Baekhyun’s father was shouting through the phone.

Baekhyun could feel his eyes starting to water, so overwhelmed by what he just heard. This was another step closer to his dream. He barely had the mind to thank his dad before jumping into Chanyeol’s arms in glee.

“I’m going to be racing in Formula 3, I’m going to be a Prema driver!” He yelled, jumping up and down with Chanyeol soon matching his enthusiasm.

“No fucking way!”

“Language, Chanyeol,” his mother scolded before congratulating Baekhyun and leaving the two be.

The two jumped around, clinging to each other tightly until they ran out of breath. “I’m so happy for you. It was only a matter of time. Out of all the thirty racers I know, you are still the best,” Chanyeol assured him, his typical toothy smile adorning his face.

Chanyeol’s teeth were too big for his face, but Baekhyun was sure he would grow into them. He looked adorable anyway, which Baekhyun expressed by ruffling his hair.

“As long as I remain number one of thirty, I’m perfectly happy,” he beamed back at Chanyeol.

That evening, Chanyeol’s mother cooked Baekhyun’s favourite food in celebration of his promotion. His parents even let the two of them stay up late, seemingly unable to stop talking about the prospect of Baekhyun’s Formula 3 career.

“Do you already know who your teammate is going to be?”

“Mate, you saw how short the phone call to my dad was. I know next to nothing. I’ll call him back tomorrow to ask.”

“Not that it matters, you’ll beat them anyway,” Chanyeol assured him. They were lying on top of his bed, of course made complete with a Ferrari bed sheet. There was an air mattress for Baekhyun on the ground, but Chanyeol’s bed was simply way more comfortable.

Baekhyun bumped their shoulders together as a thank you, it made him overflow with pride that even after all these years, Chanyeol still thought so highly of him.

The next morning Baekhyun received the details of how his next season was going to look like from his dad. His teammate was a Swede called Marcus Ericsson. However, said driver would be on his second year of Formula 3 once Baekhyun would join Prema. His dad assured him that with hard work he would be able to beat him. Testing would start the 14th of February, and yes, he could bring Chanyeol along. Baekhyun didn’t even have to ask.

Once he hung up, he joined Chanyeol on the couch. Baekhyun liked how the Park’s had decorated their living room. The couch was a deep blue colour, with small glass tables on each side. There were pictures of their family all over the room. Baekhyun heart had soared when he had first spotted a picture of Chanyeol and him pulling a silly face on the wall next to the TV.

The two of them had the house to themselves. There was some old K-drama playing on the TV neither were really paying attention to.

“Chanyeol, are you free next year on the 14th of February?”

Next to him, Chanyeol’s neck turned a light shade of red as he took a huge interest in the hem of his sweater. “Yes, why?”

Baekhyun frowned. “What are you being weird for? Anyway, come join me to my first Formula 3 test. I got my dad’s permission already.”

Chanyeol whipped his head in Baekhyun’s direction, before jumping over to him to give him a bone crushing hug. “No way, I’m honoured to come with you! I can’t wait to go. Thank you for inviting me!” Chanyeol shouted passionately a bit too close to his ear. All Baekhyun could do was return the embrace with the same fervour, enjoying their closeness. Next year was going to be extraordinary.

He was seventeen going on eighteen when he got into his very own Formula 3 car. The lead up to this moment had been tedious. From seat fitting, to boring safety instructions and long team briefings. It was all worth it as soon as he powered up the car. Much slower than a Formula 1 car, yet is was still the closest to his dream car he had ever driven. From the second he drove out of the pitlane and got on track properly, all bets where off. Baekhyun felt as if the car was on rails, that was how easy it was to steer it around quick corners. The testing was only intended for the engineers to see if the car worked properly. Yet he couldn’t suppress a smile when all of his lap times were faster than his more experienced teammate.

Formula 3 was vastly different from karting. Everything felt more official. Firstly, every team had their own garage. Which was a proper building with the team name in big letters at the front of it, instead of a tent that all karters had to share. All the garages were lined up in finishing order from last season, in what was called the pitlane.

He now had a teammate, together they had to bring home as many points as possible for Prema. With karting he had just been racing for himself. He had only chatted to Marcus for a short while, they got along fine. The Swede looked exactly what he pictured someone from Scandinavia to look like, with short, blonde hair and big, blue eyes. And of course he was tall, for a racing driver at least. Baekhyun had to crane his neck to look up at him.

Baekhyun phone pinged, a message from Chanyeol.

Chanyeol: how did ur first race go?????

Baekhyun: maaateeee, it was awesome! it’s so different from karting

Chanyeol: like what????? tell me!!!!!!

Baekhyun: so now i have a radio in my helmet so that i can hear my race engineer. that person tells me what’s going on during the race. like if some idiot crashed that i need to look out for or when i need to pit for new tyres

Chanyeol: that sounds so cool!!!!!!! im surprised you can even hear him with the loud engine lol

Baekhyun: the radio is right inside my ear so that’s no issue, haha! a bigger problem is that my race engineer has this thick ass italian accent. sometimes im just like whatever you say boss and hope he didn’t tell me there is a volcano eruption or something

Chanyeol: omg hahahaha!!!!!!!

Chanyeol: i have another question

Baekhyun: shoot

Chanyeol: what happens when u pit for new tyres????

Baekhyun: so we have to change tyres at least once a race. i drive into the pitlane where a team of employees take my old ones of and fit on new ones, like at the prema garage. the only thing i have to do is make sure i don’t hit any of them with my car. And make sure i don’t drive against the walls because the part of the track you use to drive from and to the pitlane is narrow as hell

Chanyeol: wowwww!!!!!

Chanyeol’s way of texting portrayed so much enthusiasm. He himself had learned that over reliance on exclamation and question marks was cringe, but seeing Chanyeol do it was kind of endearing. Ever since the 14th of February, they hadn’t seen each other. Baekhyun’s finger didn’t hesitate before pressing the call button.

“How was your karting race?”

“Which one, we haven’t seen each other in so long,” Chanyeol bemoaned. After hearing the sound of his voice, Baekhyun almost missed him more. It made him want to crawl through the phone and crawl right next to his friend.

“I know, it sucks. I hate that the karting tracks and single seater circuits are so far apart from each other.” They were currently not even on the same continent.

“Yeah, I kind of expected Prema to pay you more,” Chanyeol admitted. As children, the Formula 3 drivers all appeared to have everything together. Now that Baekhyun was one, that could not be further from the truth. They were all nothing more than big children wearing grown up clothes. Their salaries were nothing to complain about, but it wasn’t as if he could easily fly out his friends.

“Me too, so I could visit and watch you drive. At least my races are televised.” There was no way to watch any of Chanyeol’s karting races, aside from the grainy footage he was occasionally sent by his friend.

“Which is so cool! I watch all of them,” Chanyeol admitted, which had Baekhyun’s chest swell with pride. It made him smile that even as a teenager, Chanyeol never grew out of his admiration for him.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun responded. He put Chanyeol on speaker so he could watch his screen at the same time. There was a text from his dad that he was waiting for. Not much later he notices a message coming in, reading it quickly to confirm what they had been planning. “Chanyeol!” He yelled out, jittery with excitement.

“What? What?” Comes the eager response from the other end of the line.

“I just got a text from my dad that he is able to book a flight for you. So you can see my next race.” Baekhyun had been saving up for a while in order to be able to pay for the tickets. There was nothing more he wanted than seeing Chanyeol again and show him how much he had grown as a driver.

“No way! I would love to come. This is amazing, I can’t wait to watch you drive again. And I missed seeing you so much.” That last sentence had Baekhyun take a big gulp of air. They had texted often about how much they missed one another, but hearing it from Chanyeol with such a genuine tone, had his stomach doing flips. He was already looking forward to the moment that he could actually touch Chanyeol, pull him in for a hug and see his big smile.

“I missed you too.”

Baekhyun had been comfortably beating Marcus, showing more pace and race-craft than the more experienced driver. His teammate was fifth in the Driver Championship standings, whilst Baekhyun was only a couple points off first place. And that was only because some asshole had driven into the back of his car during the seventh race, causing him to crash.

The only area Marcus had him beat in, was the beautiful girlfriend he brought along with him to almost every race. They were often found giggling to themselves at the other end of the garage. Inside the garage there was loads of space. Both Marcus’ and Baekhyun’s car were parked in the middle, with loads of Prema engineers tinkering with their set ups. On the walls there were screens with all kinds of data, that other employees were taking note of. About how the car was preforming, the temperature inside, the tyre degradation and much more. Despite it being a massive space, Marcus and their girlfriend had so much fun that their laughter carried all the way to Baekhyun’s ears. He had never even thought about being in a relationship, always too busy with driving. Now that he had seen what happiness it brought his teammate, he ought to consider trying to get one himself.

Once Chanyeol had landed safely and they had exchanged some pleasantries, Baekhyun decided to broach the subject to his friend whilst they were getting the train from the airport.

“Have you ever thought about getting a girlfriend?”

Chanyeol raised his eyebrows before letting out a dry chuckle. “Not really, it’s not like I have the time. Don’t girls want to cuddle talk all day? There is no way I can fit that in my busy schedule.”

Baekhyun had to supress a laugh at Chanyeol’s juvenile idea of how girls worked. Which was not that strange considering he was only fifteen. “Mate, the Formula 3 drivers have a way busier racing schedule than you do, yet almost all of them have girlfriends.”

“True, how do you think they did that?”

“Probably by clubbing. Most of them are from Europe and there they have a lot of clubs where you can already get in at sixteen.” That was what his fellow drivers told him anyway. It was not like he ever went looking for those clubs, but maybe he should.

“We could go clubbing after your race this weekend then, get ourselves girlfriends,” Chanyeol suggested nonchalantly.

Baekhyun snorted. “You don’t look a day over twelve, there is no way they’re letting you in.”

“Excuse me, I look like any other fifteen year old, thank you very much,” Chanyeol said in mock-offense. He too must have known that his chubby cheeks and lanky frame wouldn’t open any club door.

The train came to a halt at the station they had to get off. Baekhyun grabbed Chanyeol’s hand luggage before the other boy could even attempt to get it off the floor.

“Just because you can’t find a girlfriend, doesn’t mean you have to treat me as one. I can carry my own luggage perfectly fine,” Chanyeol huffed next to him and grabbed the bag out of Baekhyun’s hand. He frowned, wondering where this peculiar behaviour came from.

“I was just being nice,” he grumbled back, elbowing Chanyeol in the ribs. “I wouldn’t want you as my girlfriend anyway, you are way too young,” he added, and stuck out his tongue.

“And you’re too old,” Chanyeol retorted weakly, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. They bickered back and forth until they arrived at Baekhyun’s hotel room. Yes, hotel room. The team provided him and his father with separate rooms, they no longer had to rely on their trailer for a place to sleep close to the circuits. Another bonus of being a Formula 3 driver. By himself he could have never have afforded such a big room at the outskirts of Barcelona, only a five minute drive from the circuit.

Chanyeol wasted no time by throwing his bag on the perfectly made bed closest to the door, the one not covered in Baekhyun’s clothes. He had kept the rest of the room reasonably tidy. There were two narrow beds with matching nightstands against a creamy white wall. Across from the bed, there was a small desk and a tiny TV against the wall. There were no good things on there, only the local news and old shows dubbed over in a language Baekhyun didn’t speak.

The both of them toed off their shoes and sat on their respective beds, facing each other.

“Which one of us do you think will get a girlfriend first?” Chanyeol wondered out loud.

“Me of course. I’m older and also able to get into clubs. Maybe I’ll have one the next race,” he boasted, convinced that his sense of humour could wrap most girls around his finger.

Chanyeol shrugged his shoulders. “As long as you keep me updated the moment you get one, that’s fine by me.”

“Maybe once I’m in a relationship, I can give you tips on how to kiss.” Baekhyun moved forward, puckering his lips in a teasing manner. Chanyeol proceeded to get beet-red, shouting at him to get away while pushing his hand against Baekhyun’s chest. As he put some space between their bodies once again, the hand lingered. Chanyeol took the pendant of the silver necklace he was wearing between his fingers, admiring it closely.

“Is this new?”

Baekhyun almost didn’t register that his friend had said something, completely mesmerised by his nimble fingers playing around with the pendant. “Yeah, I got it with my first salary. Do you like it?”

Chanyeol let go of the necklace and focussed his gaze on Baekhyun’s face. “It’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

That was the end of the necklace talk. They chatted for a little while longer before meeting Baekhyun’s father to go out to dinner. Once the three of devoured their respective pizzas, Chanyeol and Baekhyun retreated to their room. Where ever Baekhyun went, he brought his PlayStation. Much like many nights before, they booted up the console for a game of FIFA. Manchester United against Real Madrid. Baekhyun never got tired of this matchup, the same teams, yet always a slightly different outcome.

He was beating Chanyeol so badly one game that the latter was stomping his feet while he frantically pressed the buttons on his controller.

“This game is fucking rigged, they hate the Spanish,” Chanyeol screeched, brows furrowed in concentration.

“What are you on about? I’m just way better than you.” Mostly because Baekhyun spent a big chunk of his free time honing his FIFA skills. Chanyeol’s reaction as he beat him was more than worth it.

Chanyeol apparently decided he had enough, turning off his controller and flopping on the bed. “I’m going to file a complaint.”

Baekhyun threw back his head and laughed. “You do that, I’m going to get ready for bed. Big race tomorrow.”

“Right, I keep forgetting you’re an old man,” Chanyeol teased.

“Old man, mate, I’m eighteen! You go to sleep on time too when you have a race tomorrow,” Baekhyun pushed back, crossing his arms and scowling at his friend.

Chanyeol shook his head. “Not when I have friends over.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, grinning when he thought of something that would surely get his friend to agree to this early bedtime. “Okay, we should make this sleepover special. I’ll look up tutorials how to kiss and we’ll practice on each other!”

Chanyeol’s mouth hung open in shock, his eyes looking everywhere but Baekhyun. Who grinned when he saw that he had once again successfully made the other blush profusely. As the younger man started squirming around like some kind of dying worm, Baekhyun knew he had won.

“Right, I’ll go and brush my teeth then.”

“No, please, sorry for calling you an old man. I’ll go to sleep too,” Chanyeol sputtered out.

“Good night, Chanyeol.”

“Good night.” Baekhyun fell asleep almost immediately after.

The two of them had a hearty breakfast in the morning before they had to part ways. Chanyeol wrapped him in a tight hug.

“Show everyone what you are made of,” he whispered in Baekhyun’s ear before waving goodbye. Baekhyun’s skin prickled where their bodies had touched and his face heated up from Chanyeol’s words. He was not sure why this affected him so much, it was not like his friend hadn’t offered him encouragement before. Was it maybe because of all that silly talk of kissing the night before? He’d only meant it as a joke. Now was not the time to linger on that though, Baekhyun had a lot of preparation to do before the start of the race.

He had qualified second, being narrowly beaten out by a driver who had been in Formula 3 for two and a half years. Frankly embarrassing, if you asked him. When drivers showed enough potential, they would have been promoted to Formula 2 after a year. It would be even more embarrassing if the driver got beaten by a rookie.

There came the sound of twenty-two engines starting, twenty-two drivers waiting in anticipation for the lights above them to go out - signalling the start of the race. The second they did, Baekhyun pushed his foot down on the gas paddle. His car flew away from his starting position, speeding on the smooth asphalt towards the first turn. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the driver previously sitting at number one. He had already overtaken him.

Baekhyun controlled the race from the first position, not making any mistakes. He had a bit of a slow pitstop, but he had managed to create such a large gap to the driver behind him, that it didn’t matter. Twenty laps later, he was the first one to cross the finish line. He spotted his team cheering him on from behind the metal net separating the track from the pitlane.
He drove one victory lap, one hand waving at the spectators and the other one on the steering wheel. Once that was done, he drove into the pitlane to park his car behind the ‘Number 1’ sign. There was a certain part of the pitlane reserved for podium celebrations. There, behind the top three cars were low metal fences separating the eager team members and other visitors from the podium finishers. They had a bit of space to regain their breath after a race. Elevated above the track was the podium itself. The drivers had to take several stairs to ascend to the platform.

Amidst loud cheering from his team, he stood on top of his car, pumping his fists in the air. The large screen in the middle of the field displayed him in his cheer. Belatedly did he realize how red his cheeks were. Racing was an intensive sport after all, the heat inside the car often made racers lose a lot of fluid too.

Amongst all the people clamouring around to congratulate him, his eyes zeroed in on Chanyeol. His smile was all teeth and Baekhyun didn’t hesitate before jumping off his car and flinging himself into his awaiting arms.

Once he had reluctantly extracted himself from Chanyeol’s embrace he was roughly patted on the back by his elated team members. Now with a sore back, he got a microphone pressed into his hand. He answered some routine questions about his race before he was allowed to go and celebrate his win. The top step of the podium was where he belonged. After the top three finishers received their trophies, they were each given big bottles of alcohol-free champagne. They doused each other in the sticky liquid. Baekhyun even gave people standing beneath the podium a taste as he aimed the stream of fake champagne towards them.

Back in the hotel room he rid himself of the grime and dirt. Chanyeol was playing on his phone as he entered their shared room. The trophy stood next to him was almost blindingly gold, catching the rays of the setting sun shining through the window. It suddenly dawned on Baekhyun that he never properly thanked Chanyeol for his undying support. His friend had watched every one of his races on the tv and always texted or called him afterwards. With one quick movement, he took off his necklace and offered it to Chanyeol.

“I want you to have this,” he insisted, outstretching his arms to bring the necklace even closer to Chanyeol. The latter looked up at him as if he had sprouted a second head. His eyes wider than Baekhyun ever thought possible.

“What? That’s the necklace you bought, I don’t deserve it.” Chanyeol lightly pushed the necklace back in Baekhyun’s direction.

“My necklace that I want to give to you, please take it,” Baekhyun pleaded with his friend, giving him the most convincing puppy dog eyes he could manage.

Chanyeol opened his mouth, making some kind of incomprehensible noise before closing it again. He tried several more times before giving up and ultimately accepting the offered trophy. He carefully skated his hands along the piece of jewellery, taking his time to admire it. With watery eyes, he looked up at Baekhyun, who had been mesmerised by the other’s actions.

“Thank you,” he spoke, his voice wavering somewhat. Ever so carefully, he placed the necklace on his nightstand before walking right up to Baekhyun. Chanyeol had fully caught up with him in terms of height, despite their age difference. He gave Baekhyun a small smile, causing only one of his dimples to show up. Baekhyun was expecting a hug, but instead Chanyeol leaned forward and gave him a light peck on his cheek.

Baekhyun’s heart was beating in his chest, his breath quickening and skin tingling. His cheeks must have looked like they were on fire, he could feel the heat pooling under his skin. What was going on with him? It felt like he had been standing there for hours before he was able to reply.

“You’re welcome.”

That day had shifted something within Baekhyun. He had been trying to chase that sensational feeling ever since. It was the first time he had received that kind of affection from anyone other than his close family members. He expected that if he found a girlfriend and shared affection with her, the feeling must be even better. Because he read that when you’re in love, your body makes you experience things that are incomparable to anything else.

Once he was back in Europe for a race, he knew what he must do. Some of the other drivers had been asking him to go clubbing with them. So instead of turning them down once more, he decided to join. Most of them were around his age, so they were able to get into a proper club. They were in England, which made communicating with the other clubgoers fairly easy, seeing as they all spoke English a decent amount.

The club was massive, with multiple floors. At both sides of the room they entered there was an enormous bar, with multiple bartenders holding down the fort. The DJ booth was elevated above the mass of bodies, with strobe lights surrounding it. There were so many new sights to focus on, Baekhyun had almost forgotten his mission for tonight. Together with the group of drivers they made their way further towards the dancefloor, mingling with the movements of the sweaty bodies around them.

His eyes scanned the room for a woman that looked approachable. It didn’t take long before one of them caught his eye. She looked dazzlingly beautiful, wearing a short bodycon dress and white sneakers. Her light caramel coloured hair fell on her shoulders, blue eyes staring directly into his. With a face like hers, Baekhyun wondered how a man like him was able to capture her attention. He didn’t dwell on that for too long, not wanting to miss his chance to approach her.

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?” Perhaps Baekhyun had spent the day before looking up ‘funniest pick up lines’ so he could make the best impression. He’d say he’d been successful when the woman barked out a laugh.

“That’s a good one. What’s your name?”

He leaned in extra close to respond. “Baekhyun,” as he answered he caught a whiff of her flowery perfume. “What’s yours?”

“Sarah, nice to meet you, Baekhyun ,” She grabbed his hand and shook it in an over-exaggerated manner. “What brings you here?”

“You know, just looking for a good book to read ,” he joked, once again managing to pull a laugh out of Sarah.

“No way, I was actually looking for knitting patterns. I haven’t been successful yet.” She had a sense of humour too. Despite this double killer, his heart was surprisingly not pounding out of his chest like it did with Chanyeol’s peck. He chalked it up to barely knowing Sarah, which he intended to change.

“Want to take this outside? I love chatting to you but shouting in each other’s ears is probably not the best way to get to know one another.”

Sarah nodded in agreement and followed him outside. There they continued their small talk. Baekhyun found out she was studying to become an architect, was currently single and had lived in England her entire life. He in turn told her some facts about himself, including that he was a Formula 3 driver.

“No way, my mum’s obsessed with watching Formula 1. She’s even met Michael Schumacher about ten years ago.”

“The Michael Schumacher? I’ve never even met him before. She’s so lucky!”

Chatting with Sarah was easy, getting her number and talking her into meeting up again too. When she kissed him on the same cheek Chanyeol did when they said goodbye, he felt some light tingling. Not the same intensity as before, but he was getting there, he was sure of it.

After a couple of dates, they were finally officially an item. Having a girlfriend was fantastic. She was funny, kind and had an actual interest in his driving career. Their first kiss was great, no fireworks but he really enjoyed the feeling of having her close to him. She smelled nice, had soft skin and delicate hands. Once they had met up a few times, they had taken several steps in exploring each other’s bodies. Sarah was patient with him, yet made it very clear what she liked.

As soon as he left her apartment, he picked up his phone to call Chanyeol. He was eager to tell his friend all about it.

“You have a girlfriend? Since when?”

Baekhyun had expected Chanyeol to be exited for him, instead he sounded confused more than anything else. “Since a couple of days. I wanted to tell you immediately, but you couldn’t call, remember? Told you I would be the first one to get a girlfriend,” Baekhyun gloated.

“You did tell me,” came the answer. Not even a question about a name. What was up with Chanyeol? He’d never acted this distant before.

“Mate, I’m sorry. But texting you this info felt lame, I wanted to wait so we could call to tell you.”

“No need to apologise. I’m sorry for being so short with you, I barely slept last night. My dad is calling that dinner is ready, so I have to go. We’ll talk about this later, okay?” Chanyeol didn’t give him time to answer before hanging up the phone. It was about half past five in South Korea. Since when did the Parks eat dinner this early? Despite the explanation of lack of sleep, it still stung that his friend had shown so little interest. Maybe Baekhyun should have asked him about his own search for a girlfriend instead of only talking about himself?

The issue was resolved about three days later when they were on the phone again. This time Chanyeol showed interest in his relationship, asking questions and sounding excited when Baekhyun told him what they had done together. Chanyeol was probably really feeling unwell that day and who was he to question his friend’s truthfulness.

He brought Sarah along to the next race, she loved getting to know more about the technical side of his ‘job’. He enjoyed walking around whilst holding her hand. Sarah had curled her hair for the occasion. He was mesmerised watching the silky looking locks bounce around her pretty face.

Sarah took the opportunity to explore the city whilst Baekhyun had meetings with the team. He wished he could go with her, it was not every day that they were this close Barcelona. However, he was too busy with all kinds of obligations. At least he had the time to video call Chanyeol. When his friend answered the phone, he immediately spotted the silver necklace. It suited him well. There were flutters in his stomach as the necklace that had once belonged to Baekhyun, was now hanging around Chanyeol’s neck.

“What happened?” Of course Chanyeol was curious as to why he would start the race from P12. Usually he would be at the front.

“Fucking fuel leak. I had to stop the car. But the engineers promised me it would be fixed by tomorrow.”

“Knowing you, you’ll have no problem fighting your way through the field. Qualifying doesn’t score you any points.” Chanyeol smiled, once again letting it know that he trusted Baekhyun’s capabilities. He wanted to give his friend a big hug, but he could only thank him for his encouragement.

Chanyeol was proven right the next day, as Baekhyun had managed to drive his car all the way up to P2. It wasn’t the win he had hoped for, but it was enough to still remain the first one in the Driver Championship. Once he got out of his car, he ran to his team, who were still happy he was on the podium. He enveloped Sarah into a hug, who kissed his helmet after they broke apart.

Later that day, he received a photo from that moment taken by a journalist from Chanyeol. Along with that, he texted him a couple of emojis throwing up. Baekhyun replied that he should get a girlfriend instead of being a hater, only then he would understand.

Dating was easy, Baekhyun thought. Or maybe Sarah was so laid back that she made it easy. He enjoyed the jokes, the intimate moments, the companionship. They saw each other a couple of times a month, which he felt like was the perfect amount. There was no way they could get sick of one another. She accompanied him to a handful of more races. It was good. He had yet to experience that dizzying excitement he had felt during the ‘giving Chanyeol his necklace incident’, but there was still time.

The last race of the season was when he would officially be crowned champion. Sarah could not attend, but Chanyeol could. They hadn’t seen each other in so long, yet it still felt like no time had passed at all.

After months, Chanyeol was finally with him for the last race of the season. The race was especially important, with the potential of crowning him champion if he managed to win. Sarah couldn’t attend, thus there they were, Chanyeol and Baekhyun, lying side by side on Baekhyun’s twin sized bed. Their elbows brushed against one another every time they made the slightest movement. He had asked the team to book him a room with two beds. The employee that managed their bookings offered to book his guest a separate room, Baekhyun declined. What was the point of a visit when they couldn’t sleep in the same room?

“That guy I had told you about earlier, Erik.”

“Yes.” Baekhyun had indeed heard his fair share of complaints about this boy. It sounded like he was a real terror.

“He ran me off the track again, piece of shit. And then afterwards he fucking kissed me,” Chanyeol told him, sounding annoyed more than anything. Baekhyun shot up as if he had been stung.

“Wait, what? He kissed you? What did you do afterwards? Push him away?” He must have gotten up too quickly, the corners of his vision had started to blur. His eyes flittered over to his friend, who was not looking at him, cheeks tinged red.

“I… I kissed him back,” Chanyeol confessed, his hands playing with the fabric of the bedsheets. Baekhyun’s heart was in his throat, though it didn’t feel as pleasant as the last time this had occurred.

“Why?” Stupid question, but it was all he could manage to get out at the moment.

“Because you always spoke so highly of it, I wanted to try it for myself,” Chanyeol admitted, finally gathering up the courage to look at Baekhyun. “But I didn’t really enjoy it, to be honest.”

Baekhyun was relieved. He never liked Erik, so he was glad that Chanyeol didn’t either. “Probably because he is such an annoying asshole. Or maybe because he’s a guy? I enjoy kissing my girlfriend because I actually enjoy being around her.”

Chanyeol sighed. “Easy for you to say. I still can’t go clubbing anywhere and it’s not like the karting tracks are crawling with girls dying to date me.”

Baekhyun patted Chanyeol on his shoulder. “Your time will come.”

He awoke with a crick in his neck, still in his jeans and team jersey. Without being aware of it, they had fallen asleep in the same bed after their conversation dwindled down. Next to him, Chanyeol lied still in slumber. He looked so cosy, Baekhyun had to stop himself from crawling back next to him. If he wanted to be on time for his final race, he needed to get himself ready now. He dressed as quietly as possible, knowing that Chanyeol would wake up in time for the start.

The race was not that spectacular of a season ending. Baekhyun started first and ended first, nothing to write home about. It did mean however, that he was now officially Formula 3 Driver Champion. After the podium ceremony and a team briefing, his team principal took him apart.

They were seated across from each other in principal’s office, which was anything but the stuffy ones he was used too. The walls were bright red, pictures of her family hung up on every wall. The chair he sat on was dark green and actually comfortable. Next to her sat another woman, which he vaguely recognised. She introduced herself as Francisca.

“Baekhyun, there has been some talks between me and other Prema employees. Because you are now a Formula 3 champion, you can no longer drive for us, you know that, right?”

Baekhyun stiffly nodded his head. Unlike Formula 1, you could not become a multiple time World Champion in Formula 2 and 3. You had to find a new seat in another racing series.

Francisca offered him a warm smile, pushing a pile of papers in his direction. “Baekhyun, Prema’s Formula 2 team would like to offer you a seat. We have seen what you can do and it would be stupid not to sign the reigning Formula 3 champion. It would be our honour to continue to help you hone your skills. Please do not feel pressured to sign this contract here and now, you have a week to discuss things with your family.”

Baekhyun resisted the strong urge to scream. He wanted to jump up from his seat and just sign whatever he had been offered. However, he was now an adult and had to remain professional. He profusely thanked the two women and took the contract with him to his hotel room. There, Chanyeol was busy playing FIFA on his own. He immediately paused the game once Baekhyun had opened the door.

“Look what I got!” Baekhyun cheerfully waved his contract around.

Chanyeol raised his eyebrows “A stack of papers?”

Baekhyun was vibrating with energy, he somehow found a way to stand still long enough to hand Chanyeol his new contract.

As his eyes were rapidly skimming the words on the paper, they got wider the further he read. “You got a Formula 2 seat?” Chanyeol shouted.

“Yes!” Baekhyun shouted back even louder.

Chanyeol took his hands and together they jumped around in circles. “That is fantastic, before you know it, you’re going to be a Ferrari driver.”

It was yet another step closer to his dream.

Baekhyun was nineteen when he took Chanyeol clubbing for the first time. The latter had finally turned sixteen, old enough to accompany him to the clubs in Europe. There was one goal for the night, get Chanyeol talking to a girl. They were lingering around the bar, nursing their drinks. This club was a lot smaller than the one Baekhyun had gone to previously. There was only one floor and a giant disco ball hung up in the middle of the ceiling.

Chanyeol was now half a head taller than him, something which Baekhyun still had to get used to. He had a massive growth spurt since the last time they had seen each other. His limbs were long and bony, like he had yet to get used to his own body. Coupled with his big, brown eyes, he reminded Baekhyun of Bambi.

However, with the ladies Chanyeol was anything but a deer caught in headlights. His goofy and earnest demeanour had every girl he spoke to in some kind of trance. Yet every time he returned without a phone number, shrugging his shoulders. He always had some arbitrary excuse on why it wouldn’t have worked out and he walked away.

“She likes FC Barcelona, no way I’m dating someone that supports that shit team.”

“I didn’t like her shoes.”

“The cocktails she drank were so expensive. She much have a rich family. Rich people scare me.”

That last one had Baekhyun rolling his eyes so hard they almost fell out of his head.

“Chanyeol, if you don’t want to talk to girls we can just go back to the hotel,” he deadpanned. Clubbing when you have a girlfriend is kind of boring, so if Chanyeol isn’t intending on actually scoring some numbers, he would rather leave.

“Do you not want me to find the one?” Chanyeol shouted so he could be heard over the pounding bass.

“No, but you being hypercritical of every little this is getting ridiculous. We don’t agree on everything and yet we are still friends. Just find someone that shares your sense of humour, you can talk to about racing and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That should be more than enough.”

Chanyeol fiddled with the hem of his shirt, shrugging his shoulders. He leaned forward to talk into Baekhyun’s ear. “I just don’t feel a click with any of them. Like I did when we met for the first time.”

Chanyeol leaned back somewhat, smiling innocently. He didn’t know he just sent tingles all throughout Baekhyun’s body. He stepped back from Chanyeol, confused by his body’s reaction once again. It was a warm and pleasant feeling, maybe he had drunk the right amount of alcohol. He shook his head at Chanyeol’s previous comment. “Of course you did, cause I’m insanely funny and also we both knew we had something in common with karting. You don’t have to feel a click right away, that’s what dating is for.”

His words had impact as he saw Chanyeol’s face lighting up. “From what you have told me, dating pretty girls does sound like much fun. I’ll try and score some numbers.” He gave Baekhyun a thumbs up before mingling with the crowd once again.

Baekhyun nursed his drink, keeping an eye on Chanyeol’s efforts. When he experienced a full body laugh, he at least was in right mind not to slap the girl on her shoulder, like he did to Baekhyun all the time. At the end of the night, Chanyeol had three new contacts in his phone.

“Which one should I start dating first? The Dutch girl, the Austrian girl or the Italian girl?”

Baekhyun hummed, giving it some thought. “The Italian girl. If you want to drive for Ferrari, it’s like killing two birds with one stone. She’ll live close to where you work.”

That logic earned Baekhyun a slap on the shoulder. “You’re a genius. I’ll text her to meet up right now.”

With lighting speed Baekhyun snatched Chanyeol’s phone out of his hands, keeping it out of his reach. “Are you stupid? Texting her in the middle of the night after you just met? Do you want to seem desperate? At least wait a day.”

Chanyeol raised his eyebrows. “I hadn’t even thought of that. Good one. Should I always wait this long to text her?”

“God, no. Once you are getting serious, you can reply as soon as you receive a message.”

Baekhyun handed Chanyeol back his phone, who pocketed the device. The taller boy gently bumped their shoulder together. “You sure know a lot about dating.”

“Duh, I’ve been dating Sarah for what? More than half a year now?” And they had yet to get into a serious disagreement. He’d say he’s had a successful run with the ladies up until this point.

“So, could I text you if I need any advice?”

“Always.”

A couple of months later, Baekhyun and his girlfriend broke up. He was perfectly fine to keep going, but Sarah told him she felt like they were just going through the motions. Whatever that meant. Now he had to go through the whole spiel of getting to know someone else before he could have a proper relationship again. He complained about it to Chanyeol the next time they saw each other again. This time he went back to the karting track to support his friend. However, Chanyeol’s new girlfriend was there too.

Lucia was admittedly gorgeous. Long, chestnut brown hair, big eyes with long lashes, full lips and a beautiful smile. He gave her a short side-hug as they were introduced to one another. It was nice, meeting the girl who had been making his friend so happy. Baekhyun tried not to let the nagging feeling at the back of his mind distract from what was supposed to be a fun weekend. Despite the fact that he was expecting it to just be the two of them. Every time Chanyeol came to visit him, Sarah would not be there. And the other way around. To Baekhyun it felt kind of strange for the two of them to mingle.

They were seated on the couch of Chanyeol’s trailer, whose interior was vastly similar to Baekhyun’s old one. Small, mostly white with modern furniture. The couch was made of dark faux leather, creaking every time each one of them moved. Lucia and Baekhyun were sat on either side of Chanyeol, who was constantly moving his head around to look at the person while they were talking.

“So, then I told her that I didn’t understand why. I mean we didn’t even really fight,” Baekhyun continued his complaining. Chanyeol nodded along as a sign that he was listening intently.

“Yeah, really weird. I don’t know why she would do such a thing. She sounded like low maintenance.”

“Low maintenance?” Lucia piped up out of nowhere, sounding indignant. “What do you mean by that?”

Baekhyun side eyed Chanyeol in confusion. What had he told her? “That we didn’t need to do like big romantic dates all the time when we met up. She was fine with anything. We didn’t even do anything for our anniversary.”

“So you didn’t put in any effort. Did she ever explicitly tell you she was fine with anything?” Lucia narrowed her eyes, her mouth curling into a grimace.

Baekhyun felt white, hot rage curling in his stomach. What was wrong with this girl? Who was she to make assumptions about his relationship? And why wasn’t Chanyeol sticking up for him? Instead he placed his hands on both of their shoulders, giving Baekhyun an apologetic look. “Baekhyun, Lucia, maybe you should-”

Baekhyun didn’t want to hear anymore. He shot out of his seat, standing in front of Lucia and pointing a shaking finger towards her. “I don’t owe you an explanation. It’s not like you were there. Mind your own fucking business!” he shouted, his shoulders tense with anger. His eyes swept over to Chanyeol, his shocked face looking back at him. “And you, how dare you not speak up for me! You’ve know this girl for like two months, we’ve been friends forever. I’m leaving, fuck both of you.” Not waiting for a reply, he stormed off, yanking the door of the trailer open and slamming it close.

As he tried his best prevent the tears of frustration falling out of his eyes, he fished his phone out of his pocket, frantically searching for a flight back home. He did not want to be here for a second longer. Who was this woman to speak about his relationship like this, acting like she knew what his time with Sarah was like. And fuck Chanyeol too for not even defending him. He knew that Sarah put an end to their relationship only a week ago. It was clear that in this fight, he picked Lucia over him, as he was nowhere to be seen. He was probably comforting her in the trailer. The thought of that made his stomach churn.
He booked the first available flight, not looking back once.

Chanyeol: Baekhyun i’m sorry

Chanyeol: can you please pick up ur phone???????

Chanyeol: i NEED to speak with u!!!!!

Chanyeol: call me back asap!!!!!

Chanyeol: ur dad says ur still alive, let’s talk as soon as u can

That and many more text messages were all ignored by Baekhyun. If his phone buzzed, there was a big chance that it was Chanyeol trying to call him. He still felt too mad to answer. Because if they had a conversation right now, he was certain it would not be very productive.

Over the following weeks, he noticed that Lucia had gotten into his head. He was actively doubting his own relationship. Looking back, was there ever a time where he had been spontaneous? Sarah must have had a proper reason to break up with him, he wanted to dig deeper as to why. Baekhyun picked up his phone and dialled her number.

“Yes, Baekhyun?”

“Sarah, I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did with our relationship in the future. Could you please explain to me exactly why you broke up with me?”

It was quiet for a while before Sarah answered. “You know what? I’ll do your future girlfriends a favour and tell you. I felt like you were in this relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. The fact that you were content with coming home and having someone there to fuck is not what a relationship should look like. Also, I came to races, asked you questions, helped you pack. And yet you never put in any effort to truly get to know me. You never took initiatives to have a nice date, or shown interest in any of my hobbies.”

As much as Baekhyun wanted to protest, he knew she was correct. A heavy feeling settled in his chest as he realised that maybe Lucia had a point. Perhaps he had been neglectful towards her needs, but he always thought she’d understand considering his high-stress career to the top.

“I’m sorry,” He said sheepishly.

“Just do better next time,” she offered and hung up the phone.

After this conversation with Sarah, he had half the mind to message Chanyeol about it. He missed their conversations. The other had stopped trying to contact him. Understandably, because Baekhyun had been ignoring him. He knew deep down that he had to get over it and take the initiative to apologise for his outburst, but he couldn’t. The fact that Chanyeol had clearly picked Lucia over him, still cut deep. The couple was probably out there enjoying their honeymoon phase. The contact between them had dwindled somewhat since Chanyeol had entered his new relationship. This coupled with the fight had Baekhyun questioning the other’s loyalty.

He tried not to dwell too much on the intrusive thoughts entering his mind. He’d just lost his girlfriend, and now he was on the brink of losing his best friend too. It made him feel intense loneliness, much worse than after his breakup with Sarah.

The following weeks were rough on him. On days when he was alone for too long, he would spend his time scrolling through old pictures of the two of them. Sleep did not come easily when all he did was relive the same moment over and over again. He’d feel a tightness in his chest every time he was reminded of the hurt look on Chanyeol’s face after his outburst. He had caused that.

The bags under his eyes were not flattering, his racing definitely suffered from his lack of sleep. After another mediocre result, Baekhyun decided that his anger and sadness could be put to better use. When he wasn’t racing, he was studying other driver’s styles, looking at old footage of Formula 1 champions and taking notes. All his energy was put into furthering career. The fruits of his labour had started paying off.

At twenty, Baekhyun had officially won the Formula 2 Driver Championship. It had been a long time coming. There was no one even close to him and with four more races to go, he already had enough points to receive the title. He got out of his car, ready to jump into the arms of his team when something made him stop in his tracks. Next to his team principal stood none other than Chanyeol. He gave Baekhyun a short wave and a tight lipped smile. Baekhyun gave him a curt nod in return, but didn’t bother going over to him. Instead he let his team members lift him off the ground and pat him on the back. Their cheers enveloped him, quietening his heavily beating heart.

After the celebrations were over, he returned to his hotel room with a new trophy in his hand. What he did not expect, was Chanyeol sitting on his colourful sheets. How did he even get in? He put down the trophy on the desk before walking over and planting himself on the other side of the bed. All the regrets about their last encounter had been pushed far down for so long, once Baekhyun saw the man sitting on his bed, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Gone was the distraction of making a career for himself. Now there was no escaping the guilt flooding his mind.

“Baekhyun, I want to apologise for what happened with Lucia. She wrote you a letter.” Chanyeol’s big eyes were pools of sorrow, Baekhyun almost felt like he could drown in them. His friend passed him a small piece of paper, which he put on the nightstand. He had hurt Chanyeol by ignoring him for so long, yet he was the one seeking out Baekhyun once more. How did he deserve this, when he had made no effort to mend their friendship at all?

“I’m sorry, I should have at least given you the opportunity to explain,” Baekhyun admitted, his voice small.

“It gave me an excuse to fly out to watch you win the championship.” Chanyeol smiled weakly. It made Baekhyun smile too. Despite him going no contact, his friend had still kept tabs on his career.

“Lucia was right, you know. I asked Sarah about it. I wish I didn’t yell at both of you, but it had only been a week, so it hit me hard.”

“Which I totally understand. She was right, but it was not the time and the place. It’s just that she had recently seen one of her friends get really hurt by a similar type of relationship, so she got defensive.” Which is something Baekhyun could empathise with. From Sarah’s perspective, there must have been friends of hers too, that would have been advising her to break it up because of Baekhyun’s aloofness. Lucia had almost transformed into a kind of villain in his mind, trying split Chanyeol and Baekhyun apart.

Baekhyun shuffled closer to Chanyeol until they were seated pressed against each other, their thighs touching. He sighed in relief at the contact, he had missed this. “We were both in the wrong and you were caught in the middle.”

“Yeah.”

They basked in the comfortable silence for a while, Baekhyun leaned his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Please don’t ever disappear like that again,” Chanyeol told him, sounding so vulnerable and small. Baekhyun moved so he could look him in the eye properly.

“Never.”

Ferrari called soon after, eager to offer him a seat in Formula 1. It wasn’t at the team famed for the prancing horse, but one of the teams they supplied their engine to. Sauber, a team with less to lose and more interest in embracing a rookie. After all these years of training, as soon as you got into Formula 1, you were still considered green. Understandably so, because the moment he got into his new car, everything felt different.

All that he had worked for, had led to this moment and it was more than worth it. The full control Baekhyun had over this car, reacting within milliseconds to his every whim. The engine was a sick upgrade from his previous steed, cruising through corners like a hot knife cutting through butter.

The car was great and he was paired up yet again with Marcus. Logically, with a more popular sport, came more attention. Signing hats, caps and even skin from fans was fine. The media storm however, was not. They overanalysed every little thing, asked ignorant questions and made up stories out of thin air.

Luckily, Chanyeol was there to listen to his complaints. Now that he had been promoted to Formula 3, they were racing on some of the same tracks again. The Formula 3 calendar contained less races, seeing as the driver were all teenagers. Baekhyun was now competing against the nineteen best racers in the world, ranging from ages twenty to late thirties.

Because of their schedules aligning more, Baekhyun was able to watch Chanyeol’s first Formula 3 race. His friend had been eager to jump into the car, almost vibrating as he spoke to Baekhyun beforehand. Because Chanyeol had a pre-contract with Mercedes, he had to drive in one of their sponsored cars. A team which hadn’t done well in a long time.

They were inside the bathrooms of Fortec Motorsports motorhome. A stupid name, but when offered a Formula 3 seat you couldn’t be very picky. Now that the race start was creeping closer, Chanyeol’s excitement had dampened. He had dragged Baekhyun into the bathrooms with just an hour to go.

“You’re going to do great,” Baekhyun assured his friend and squeezed his tense shoulders. Chanyeol was heavily leaning on the sink. The harsh LED lights made him look sickly.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” was the response from an increasingly pale looking Chanyeol. Baekhyun had never seen his friend this affected.

With gentle hands, he directed Chanyeol’s face upwards so he could look at him. “You have more than earned your seat in Formula 3. I could tell you all the reasons why, but your results speak for themselves. And this time won’t be any different, I know it.” He was not going to let nerves ruin Chanyeol’s first race. It would be such a waste of his incredible talent.

Chanyeol said nothing, simply watching Baekhyun with an unreadable expression on his face. As Baekhyun was starting to get worried the stress had somehow caused Chanyeol to go deaf, his friend moved. He pulled Baekhyun in for a tight hug, one hand on his shoulder blade and the other around his waist. Every point of contact between them sending tingles down Baekhyun’s spine. The clean scent of hotel soap surrounds him. They part too early for his liking. Instead of his tense expression, Chanyeol was now smiling.

In order to distract himself from his racing pulse, he walked in the direction of the door, pulling Chanyeol with him. “We’ve been in this bathroom for a little too long. People might get the wrong idea. Let’s go. Unless you still feel like throwing up.”

“I’m doing much better,” Chanyeol confirmed and gave a thumbs up.

Despite the nerves, he managed to get a podium on his first race of this season, whilst driving arguable one of the slowest cars on the grid. If that wasn’t a testament to his skills, Baekhyun didn’t know what was. That had surely caused some heads to turn.

Baekhyun’s first Formula 1 race didn’t result in a podium. Far from it, actually. He was in the midfield fighting for points. With twenty cars on the grid, only the top ten finishers brought home points. He took the finish flag in P9, scoring a measly two points. It was all he could get out of the car, with his competition being teams with more money and cars driven by World Champions. It could have been worse, Marcus finished P16. After all, your teammate was the only driver you could truly be compared to, because they were the only one driving the same car.

“How does it feel to not only score points on your Formula 1 debut, but also be the first South Korean to do so?”

After every race, all drivers were obliged to talk to the media. In a separate section of the paddock, there was what was called the ‘media pen’. Set up in a circle were all kinds of journalist from different countries waiting for the drivers to answer their questions. He was the first South Korean to do a lot of things, but the question sure got boring after the umpteenth he heard it.

He plastered a big smile on his face. “It feels amazing, I’ve heard that I’m South Korea’s biggest export since K-Pop and Samsung.”

That got the journalist laughing, good. The second time he got that question, he just told the same joke. If the news outlets didn’t make any effort to do research, he was going to tell the same shit joke over and over again.

The Formula 1 drivers got to sleep in the most luxury hotels, so of course Chanyeol was hanging out in his room. His race had concluded yesterday, he’d stuck around to watch Baekhyun’s race. Lounging around in his room, despite having his very own room in a hotel down the road.

His friend was screech-laughing at something on his phone, flipping the screen to Baekhyun once the video was over. It was a compilation of him delivering that same joke, each time more dead panned than the last.

“Oh my god, you are genius. This is hilarious,” Chanyeol heaved out, still recovering from the full body laughs Baekhyun’s lack of media training had provided him. “People are really liking you already.” He showed some of the reactions from Formula 1 fans on Twitter.

“Glad to see that they like me. My DMs on Insta are also blowing up. It might not be that difficult to find a new girlfriend,” he joked, showing Chanyeol the messages he’d gotten. They ranged from hilarious, to deranged and horny beyond belief. The two of them had a good time scrolling through all of them.

“Wow, the attention you get for being a Formula 1 driver is crazy. Are you going to reply to any of them?”

“Fuck no.”

Due to the unmatched amount of attention he was receiving, getting a new girlfriend was only a matter of time. Maeve was from Ireland, studying to be an engineer. That is why she found what he did to be remarkably interesting. With her sand coloured hair, light eyes and small nose she was a as gorgeous as they came. And unlike the last time, Baekhyun put in an effort to get to know her. He took her on fun dates, showed interest in her hobbies and was attentive to her needs. They could talk for hours without Baekhyun getting bored. Yet, he still felt like something was missing. His heart wasn’t racing and his stomach wasn’t doing flips when they were together. Even a woman that on paper would be perfect for him, didn’t manage to get him to react that way.

It was probably because of how there was an incredible amount of pressure that came with driving in Formula 1. In your first year, you had to really prove yourself worthy of being in the sport. Every race weekend had to be perfect.

The day before his own race, the drivers from Formula 3 had an opportunity to show what they were made of. Once again, shortly before the race start, Chanyeol was pacing around his garage, brushing against Baekhyun’s outstretched legs each time he passed. Were the nerves once again getting to him?

“Mate, what is up with you? You drove amazing last race, you’ll do amazing this race. No need to be nervous,” Baekhyun spoke in a calm manner. Chanyeol stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at Baekhyun, who was nonchalantly leaning on one of the stacks of tyres at the side of the garage.

“Calm down? How am I supposed to be calm when I’m constantly being compared to you. Even when I get on the podium it still isn’t enough. I have to win. Otherwise the press will continue to write me off like I’m nothing,” Chanyeol bristled, his chest heaving.

Baekhyun stood up straight as he felt his muscles tense at the words tumbling out of Chanyeol’s mouth. “I told you not to read the shit the media writes. I was great in Formula 3, so what? You have your own path to thread. Don’t be a sore loser. You can’t win every race.”

“Easy for you to say, since Prema had the best car,” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, what a bratty move. How was it his fault that he got a seat in the fastest Formula 3 team?

“Don’t pin that shit on me. Can’t you hear that you’re being unreasonable? Why are you so tense?” Baekhyun spoke through clenched teeth. It took much effort to not raise his voice and start screaming. As much as he would like to and show Chanyeol how upset he truly was.

“I-” Chanyeol spoke up before stopping himself. He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Because it seems like everything comes easy to you. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you. But it’s cause I’m always the second Korean to do so and so, there is less attention and less money from sponsors.”

While Baekhyun could see where his friend was coming from, that didn’t take away from the fact that he had lashed out at him, without any reason to. “You have to understand that I can’t help the fact that I’m born earlier.” He shrugged.

Chanyeol crossed his arms. “I get that, but I’d expected at least some sympathy,” he deadpanned.

“You would have gotten it, if you hadn’t taken your anger out on me,” Baekhyun sneered.

“Right,” Chanyeol responded. And for a long while, neither of them said anything. The only thing that could be heard is the engineers working on Chanyeol’s car a few meters away. Baekhyun was glad that none of them spoke Korean. All though their tones must betray that they were not having a pleasant conversation. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry too.” He gently pressed his fist against Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Now, forget all this and focus on your race.”

“Did you forget all of that?” Myeong interjected.

“Excuse me?”

“You told Chanyeol to forget the argument, but while you recalled it, it seemed like you haven’t gotten over it yourself,” she stated, her piercing gaze focussed on him. It made him squirm.

“Well, it hurt me. To be on the receiving end of his anger. Uncalled for anger,” he stated. He was right, no matter what she ought him to think.

“Which might have been true. But something that happened this long ago, is it worth the energy to constantly keep it over Chanyeol’s head? He apologised, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” he hesitated.

“So? What else did you want him to do?”

“It is not the worst thing he has done. This is just the beginning,” he piped up, avoiding answering her prodding question.

Myeong sighed and wrote something down. “Okay, please continue.”

After yet another top three finish from Chanyeol, they were walking away from the Formula 3 podium, not as close to one another as Baekhyun would have liked. But with constant cameras flashing in their faces, it was better to keep an appropriate distance. Normally it would be a lot calmer after a Formula 3 race, but because Baekhyun was here, the press was swarming around them. Chanyeol looked uncomfortable with this unwanted attention. Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to scream at these pestering journalist to fuck off. One guy didn’t get out of their way, shoving a massive camera with a microphone attached into his face.

“Baekhyun, Chanyeol has once again won more than you did before him. Are you afraid that once he gets into Formula 1 he’s going to overshadow you?” the annoying journalist asked.

Overshadow him? There the press went again, trying to pit two friends against each other for their own entertainment. Not that Chanyeol would even overshadow him, he had more experience and he had given his friend tips on how to get better.

Chanyeol grimaced and was about to open his mouth before Baekhyun pinched his arm. “Let’s leave.” He steered them away from the crowd.

Once they were in the safety of Baekhyun’s hotel room, Chanyeol erupted.

“How dare he ask such a stupid question? Is the press always like this in Formula 1? I don’t get how you can deal with these assholes,” he grumbled as he paced up and down Baekhyun’s room. As if he was trying to get rid of his irritation through powerwalking.

Baekhyun sighed, falling onto the bed. “That’s the fucked up part. If you retaliate and tell them what you really think, they’ll call you crazy. There’s no winning with those people. I told you not to listen or read anything they say,” he said as much to Chanyeol as he did to himself.

“Promise that whatever those idiots write, we’ll never let it get between us?”

Baekhyun sat up, looking right at Chanyeol as he answered sincerely. “I promise.”

Twenty-one was when he became someone’s ex-boyfriend for the second time. However, this time he was the one to put an end to their relationship. That feeling of missing something kept gnawing at him and he felt guilty about the fact that it made him unable to fully commit to Maeve.

Baekhyun thought back to the conversation he and Chanyeol had two years ago. Him assuring his friend that he could always text him for advice. Meanwhile, Chanyeol was the only one that had managed to hold down a long term relationship. He and Lucia were still going strong.

Another failed relationship and this time he had been the perfect boyfriend. A voice at the back of his head told him that maybe he was looking in the wrong direction. That voice had been getting increasingly louder. Baekhyun had tried his hardest to push it down, but he had to attempt something radically different for his own sake.

That was how he found himself in a small gay bar, somewhere in Belgium after their race there. Once he’d bought a golden version of the necklace he had given to Chanyeol, he wandered into the closest town. He hoped he’d travelled far away enough from the circuit not to bump into any Formula 1 fan. Being the first South Korean driver got bothersome sometimes, yes. But being the first openly non-straight one? That would be an unprecedented scandal.

He was aimlessly swirling the ice cubes around in his Red Bull vodka, scanning the crowd. How did one even flirt with another man? He kind of knew how gay sex worked, because he had done thorough research last night. His thoughts were interrupted when someone piqued his interest. He was tall, with wide shoulders and a narrow waist, inky black hair and big, brown eyes. Once he noticed Baekhyun not so subtly staring at him, he started walking in his direction. Baekhyun set down his drink, because his shaky hands would surely betray his nerves.

The first sentence that came out of the guy’s mouth was incomprehensible. He was trying to speak his native language to Baekhyun, who offered him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, I’m not from here, do you speak English?”

“Of course, I was just telling you how handsome you look tonight. What is your name?” The man didn’t seemed fazed by the language switch at all. His voice was slightly higher than Baekhyun expected, still that didn’t take anything away from his attraction to this man.

Baekhyun hesitated for a moment, before offering him a fake name. “Chen, and yours?”

“Aaron, nice to meet you. So, what brings you here?”

Baekhyun went through all the excuses he had made up in his head beforehand. In the end he decided he didn’t feel like doing the whole song and dance and flat out told Aaron the truth.

“Trying to discover whether I’m straight or not. Do you want to help me with that?”

Aaron looked taken aback by his blunt answer. Not too long after, his lips curled into a wide smile. “It would be my pleasure.”

That night Baekhyun was blown away by a pleasure unlike one he had ever felt before. Letting someone else inside your body was so intimidate yet exhilarating at the same time. He didn’t even mind the soreness the next day.

Baekhyun tried his best to form any kind of relationship with Aaron, hoping to find what he had been looking for. That rush that set his whole skin alight. He didn’t find it. The sex was good, but the dates were boring. The two of them had nothing in common. Besides, Aaron turned out to be emotional unstable and was unwilling to do anything about it. However, Baekhyun was still grateful that he helped to discover something about himself that had lain dormant for all these years. Baekhyun found out he was attracted to both women and men.

He would tell Chanyeol, really, but it felt so awkward to forcibly steer a conversation in that direction. They gossiped, talked about racing and their families. They never broached the subject of sexuality. So Baekhyun forwent telling him entirely. It was not like Chanyeol not knowing that little fact about him would change their entire friendship.