Chapter Text
You sat at the bar, glass in hand and head resting on your arm. You swirled whatever few sips were left in your glass,the lights were starting to hurt but at least it wasn't loud. The stardrop saloon was usually buzzing around this time of night, but with the snow storm rolling in almost everybody was home. It was just you, Pam, Gus (who was currently trying to check on her), and possibly Willy. That old man wouldn't let a storm stop him no matter how hard it tried.
You really should go home. You should've gone home hours ago, especially after being in the mines for most of the day. No matter how exhausted and dirty you looked, Gus didn't turn you away. And after these past couple weeks, you needed a good drink.
The old bell above the door jingled, You didn't bother to lift your head.
"What? No hello?"
You looked over, Shane was leaning on the counter. His hair was a mess and dotted with snowflakes that faded away as he waved down Gus. Gus slid Shane a beer, who quickly downed it and motioned for a next one.
"Rough day?" You perked up a little with a laughed.
He pulled out the stool next to you and sat down, breathing out a laugh.
"I should be asking you the same thing."
He had a point. You were in worse shape than he was. Your hair was a matted mess, dirt and grime smudged on your clothes, you could only assume what he was thinking seeing you like this. It was unusual for you to be out at the bar this late looking like a complete mess with how much stuff you always had to do tomorrow.
"Haven't seen you this roughed up in a while, farmgirl." Shane rested his chin on his hand, looking at you.
"Gee thanks for noticing," you grumbled, lifting the almost empty cup to your lips.
"What's wrong, trouble in paradise?" He smirked, taking a sip from his mug.
You worried your bottom lip before downing whatever was left, "You could say that."
"Relationship wise or farm wise?"
"Both," you sighed, leaning against the counter more.
You looked up, planning to flag down Gus for another round but being unable to find him. Shane nudged his mug over to you and you gratefully took a sip. You kept your hand on it, swirling the containments while avoiding eye contact with the man next to you.
"I don't know what I'm doing, Shane," you looked at your reflection in the glass, pathetic.
"You're drinking cheap alcohol," he joked, crossing his arms on the counter.
You rolled your eyes but couldn't help but smile, it quickly vanished, "not what I meant."
"Well, what did you mean?"
You finally found the courage to look up at him. He noticed your down expression, and laid his hand out on the counter for you to take. You did, looking away while searching for the words.
"I came here because I was tired of my old life," you started, you told him this before but he didn't seem to mind, "and now that I'm here... it's like what now. Sure I have friends here but I don't know - I don't really do anything important."
You drank from his cup again.
"You've done a lot," Shane gave your hand a squeeze, "everything you do is helping the community, you're important to everyone."
You huffed, downing whatever was left.
"Not important enough, apparently," you mumbled under your breath. Shane caught it faster than you would've liked.
"How are you not?"
You ignored him. The bell jingled and Gus came back in. He must've helped Pam home. You flagged Gus down for two more drinks, having to make up for stealing Shane's. Shane looked at you but didn't push you for an answer. That's one of the things that you liked about him.
Gus placed the drinks in front of you, and you offered him a thanks as he walked away to clean. Shane didn't move to let go of your hand, instead he grabbed it with the other. He brought the glass up to his lips, you felt a little bad for staring. Quickly, you looked back to the drink in front of you.
After taking a quick sip, you asked, "do you think Harvey is in love with me?"
Shane choked on his drink, quickly letting go of your hand to cover his mouth, "What? What kind of question is that?"
You pulled your arm against your chest on the bartop. Looking up, Gus didn't seem to notice and instead stood cleaning a glass on the opposite side. You didn't answer him, and instead timidly sipped on the drink in your hand.
He let out a strained laugh, "you're married to
him and you're asking this now?"
"I'm serious, Shane."
"Look, I am too." At least it didn't seem like he was making fun of you for it. "What makes you think he's not?"
You let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't know, everything?"
Shane took a sip, motioning with his free hand for you to continue.
"He just seems so... uninterested?" You bit your lip, thinking back on the past month and everything your husband did that just made you feel off, "it's like, now that we're married he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't want to help me around the farm, he doesn't spend time with me, he's almost always working - which by the way is weird!"
Shane let you rant, leaning on his hand while you got increasingly angrier about your situation.
"He always talks about oh his patients and he's so tired - when before we were married he kept telling me he didn't have a lot of patients! He leaves so early, and comes back hours after the clinics closed," you took a long drink of your alcohol and waved for another, "I mean what is he even doing all day! And Don't get me started on Maru."
"His assistant?" Shane let out a laugh, he wasn't close to a lot of people but he knew enough.
"Yes!" You borderline shouted at this point, throwing your hand up, "she's always such a bitch to me when I try and go see my husband! Like I know his ass is not that busy, half the time he's alone in his office and she's all like 'do you have an appointment' 'is this really an emergency?" The way you drunkenly mocked her made him laugh, maybe the booze were hitting you more than he thought. "I've seen how they are at festivals I'm not stupid."
Your voice faltered, "I mean... what am I doing wrong?"
You curled in on yourself, appearing smaller on the bar stool as you hunched forward. Your voice was quiet, shaky, as you confided in him. "Why doesn't he love me anymore?"
Now that's when Shane got serious. He put his drink down, and turned to face you. Your head was in your hands, you looked absolutely miserable.
He put his hand on your arm gently, "Hey, look at me would you?"
You shook your head, your body wracked with quiet sobs. He moved closer, moving your hands away from covering your face. He wasn't the best at comforting people, and it was obvious. But, he knew you needed him, and that was enough to make him try. You looked up at him with tears running down your cheeks.
"Hey, you're alright," he whispered, wiping away a few stray tears with his thumb, "you didn't do anything wrong."
He tried his best to talk you down, assure you that you didn't do anything wrong. He knew spiraling, his therapist constantly pointed it out, and that's what you were doing. You just needed someone, and he knew it.
"Did you talk to him about it?"
You shook your head. He wasn't going to make you, of course, but "maybe you should ask him? It might make you feel better."
He held eye contact with you and offered a smile that you didn't return. It was almost funny how the tables turned since you met each other.
You leaned forward, pressing your face against his chest and wrapping your arms around his neck. Shane froze briefly, flushing slightly before putting his drink down and returning the gesture. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. It wasn't the easiest thing to do with the both of you how you were.
He caught a glimpse of the clock, it was past closing and Gus was cleaning up. The poor man probably wanted the two of you out ages ago and didn't have the heart to tell you. Shane gave Gus a nod.
Shane kept one arm around you as he dug around in the pockets of his Joja hoodie. He placed enough money to cover whatever the two of you drank, and a little extra for letting you stay.
"Alright farmgirl," Shane moved to stand and you looked up with teary tired eyes, "Let's get you home."
Your arms tightened around him.
"Okay, okay, I won't let go," he halfheartedly sighed, "I can't carry your ass back to the farm though, you gotta help me a bit here."
Shane glanced over you for a second, noting your very obvious lack of winter gear and packed bag on the floor that he definitely wasn't going to dig into. He nudged you off him for a second, before removing his old hoodie and wrapping it around your shoulders.
"Wont you be cold?" You asked, your voice was quiet and dazy.
"Nah," he put his hand on your head, "I've walked home in worse."
Shane grabbed your bag off the floor and swung it onto his shoulder before wrapping the other arm around your waist. You leaned against him with a stupid smile. He walked with you to the door, opening it with its little jingle.
"Thanks Gus, sorry for the mess."
The older man said a goodnight as the door shut. Shane held onto you, keeping you up in the winter winds. Snow was coming down hard, and most of the lights in town were off. It was almost serene if he wasn't carrying you and freezing his ass off.
He trudged through the snow, thankfully the towns paths were shoveled earlier but the snow piling down made it noticeably difficult. You leaned most of your weight against him, your eyes were shut, but you moved with him. It was funny, even though you had his jacket, it briefly crossed his mind that he hoped you weren't too cold. Whatever was in your bag was heavy, although nothing he couldn't handle. Despite not being an athlete anymore, he still had enough strength.
"What the fuck is in here, a bunch of rocks?" He asked, he knew you were tired but you fully falling asleep would make it much harder to get you home.
You laughed lazily and nodded, your breath making smoke as it met the cold air. Shane smiled, at least he got you to laugh. Knowing you, there probably was just rocks and other shit in there from the mines. Fuck, he was freezing, but he could make it.
The two of you made it to the edge of town, where the path changed over to dirt. It was less clear, obviously, but he could still move you through it. His steps created prints that were accompanied by your lazy ones. If he wasn't practically holding you up, you would've fallen at least three times. Snowflakes fell and dotted your hair.
Passing the bus stop, Shane tugged you closer. You nuzzled into him and he tried not to think too much about to. You were drunk, you were emotional, you were cold, there was absolutely no reason for him to be overthinking your actions. But he was. He really just had to get you home.
Thankfully getting to your property line the paths you placed were clearer than the bus stops. It was darker though, with only the moon lighting his path. Your house was quiet and dark. Shane brought you to the front steps of your house.
"Where's your keys?"
When you didn't answer, he shook you a little which only resulted in you letting out an irritated hum. He glanced at your door with an aggravated sigh. If you weren't going to help him, and he definitely wasn't going to dig through whatever was in your nasty ass bag, he just had to hope Harvey would wake up.
He let out an exasperated breath, before pulling you close to get you up the stairs. At this point, you were practically knocked out, so there was no way you were walking up them yourself. He was thankful your porch and steps weren't covered in snow or ice, otherwise you'd be really fucked.
Standing on the porch, holding you up, Shane moved forward and knocked on the door. There wasn't an answer, so he knocked harder. At the third knock a light flickered on.
He smiled, and quietly spoke, "almost home, farmgirl."
The door opened and light flooded outside from the door. Shane had to squint at the sudden brightness. Harvey stood in the doorway, with loose pajamas on and his hair a ruffled mess. He readjusted his glasses, looking at Shane on the porch, holding a half passed out you. The scene appeared to set Harvey off into an anxious mess.
"Oh goodness, come in. Are they alright? Were they attacked? What happened?" Harvey stepped aside to let the two of you enter. Or, more so let Shane bring you in.
"Relax doc, they're just drunk," Shane shuffled into the house, pretty carrying you at this point.
Harvey quickly shut the door, coming to the other side of you. He was weaker than Shane was, shockingly, but it was enough to stabilize Shane's walk.
"Did you find them like this?"
Shane huffed, "not exactly."
"What happened?"
"Couldnt tell ya, doc." Couldn't or wouldn't didn't really matter to Shane, it wasn't his business to tell. If you wanted to tell Harvey what was going on, that was up to you.
Harvey let out a mildly irritated sigh.Shane could be stubborn and short with responses, the doctor knew that almost more than anyone at this point. It was clear he wouldn't get any answers from his companion. He'd just have to ask you tomorrow.
You stayed leaning primarily on Shane, with your tired breathing brushing against his neck. He tried not to let it bother him, especially not in front of Harvey. He was thankful the walk to your room wasn't long.
Shane glanced around your room. It very obviously stayed the same since before you got married. Your various nicknacks and stuff on the wall and furniture hadn't much changed since you got a double bed it seemed. There was almost nothing of Harvey's in there, despite it being a shared room. Harvey pulled back the covers of the bed to make room for you.
The two men maneuvered you up and onto the double bed. Your arm slipped away from Shane and you curled into yourself with his hoodie. Harvey briefly tried to remove it from around you, but the way you moved after they set you down made it difficult. You were clearly comfortable now and moving you could be more effort than it would be worth.
"Let them keep it," Shane spoke, his volume didn't lower because you didn't seem to care, "I can get it back tomorrow."
The doctor made a noise, before checking you over. Shane dropped your bag next to your bed, he was sure your sort it at some point in the morning. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his shorts while Harvey checked you for any injuries. Shane moved to leave before remembering how Harvey could be about his own alcohol problems, he couldn't imagine getting that lecture as a spouse.
"Do me a favor, doc," Shane stood in the doorway and Harvey turned back to him, "don't lecture them too much in the morning."
Harvey nodded, "could you stay here for a moment? I have something to ask you."
Shane shrugged, it's not like he had anything else to do but go home drink maybe play a game and crash until he had to go to work. Harvey finished looking over you, you had a few scrapes and bruises but nothing too important. Harvey motioned for them to leave the room and shut the door behind him.
The two entered your living and dining area. Shane sat down on one of the couches while Harvey went to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee. Harvey, ever the host, asked him if he wanted anything - he knew you didn't keep alcohol in the house other than wine so he shook his head. Shane out of habit went to feel around in his pockets for a flask before remembering it was both in his jacket, which you had, and likely empty. He leaned on the edge of the couch instead. Harvey came over and sat across from him on the opposite couch. The doctor sat upright, always so proper even in loungewear.
"So what's up?"
"We've been friends for quite some time," Shane wasn't sure he'd say that but he let Harvey continue, "and I want you to be honest with me, Shane."
"Here it comes-" it always did, "yeah yeah my drinking is out of hand-"
"Not what I meant," Harvey adjusted his glasses almost timidly after he interrupted, "this isn't about your drinking habits."
This was different, when was Harvey not going to harp on him for drinking. "Then what is it about?"
Harvey sighed, fidgeting before looking towards your closed bedroom door, "have you been... engaging with (Y/N)?"
Shane laughed, "duh, we were just hanging out at the bar. We 'engage' all the time."
Harvey adjusted his seating. That clearly wasn't what he meant either. The crackle of the fireplace in the corner filled the silence. After a moment, shane sat up shaking his head.
"Wait wait wait, are you asking if me and (Y/N) are having sex?"
Harvey nodded, glad he didn't have to elaborate like he expected to. "You'd tell me, wouldn't you?"
Shane wasn't sure if he would, but he never considered himself a home wrecker. Sure he was a drunk, and got around when he was younger. But No matter how many one night stands he's pulled in the past, it was never with someone he knew was married, it was never with you.
"Doc," Shane laughed, "I'm not banging your wife."
The doctor leaned forward, rolling his eyes, "would you please be serious for a moment?"
"I am being serious," Shane defended, holding up his hands in surrender almost mockingly. This was almost too funny. He put a hand over his heart, "I swear I have never once 'engaged in sexual intercourse' with your wife, happy now?"
"Not quite," Harvey leaned back, sipping the coffee he made earlier. It was obvious he didn't believe Shane.
"Look doc, Im telling the truth, you know I'm honest after a couple drinks and I had more than enough earlier," Shane leaned into the drunk aspect more than he really needed to. He wasn't drunk, a handful of drinks wasn't even enough to phase him, but Harvey's been a victim to his drunken rants before. He told Harvey things didn't care to admit at low points, but it was enough to solidify his reputation. "They're much more concerned with keeping the farm together than sleeping around."
He wouldn't admit that before you and Harvey got together, one extremely drunken and embarrassing night, Shane offered to have sex with you. That night, You laughed, hit his arm playfully and turned him down. He didn't remember much else, just the usual waking up on his bedroom floor that morning after.
"They've been faithful to you, just like they swore to be," Shane noted the way Harvey sipped the coffee in an almost defeated - guilty? - way. "Trust me, they're all yours."
Shane knew that, it's why he backed off ages ago. You had a crush on Harvey from the moment you met him. And Shane was fine with that, He was fine being your friend. Finding out your fears about your current relationship didn't make him feel any better at all, you deserved a nice stable man. One like Harvey - if your fears were just that, fears. Shane's stupid crush on you was easy to ignore, and he'd bet good money he hid it well.
When Harvey didn't answer, it got quiet again. Uncomfortably quiet and Shane wasn't looking forward to a lecture or rant or any sort of reminders about the person he was, so he stood. Harvey looked up, like he didn't expect him so soon.
"Well, Doc, I better get going," Harvey stared at him, almost like he was examining Shane's movements. Yoba, he really wished he had his jacket right about now.
"Of course," Harvey stood too, holding his almost empty cup, "it is very late. Will you be okay getting back?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Shane brushed off the doctors usual concern, "it ain't that far."
"Although it's a myth you can get a cold from cold weather alone, frostbite and hyperthermia are a very real things, Shane. You don't want to end up at my clinic more than usual."
Shane smiled at the subtle jab Harvey made. Maybe they were some sort of friends. Either way, he made it to the door and waved a faulty two finger solute.
"Whatever you say, Doctor."
Harvey smiled, nodding as Shane opened the door. Harvey moved to clean up and likely head back to bed, Shane didn't linger around too much longer.
After he shut the door, Shane let out a hard sigh. His breath turned to smoke, a testament to the drop of temperature in The Valley. It was worse now than it was earlier. The cold wind was a bitter fucking feeling as he walked down the steps. He really should invest in some pants. His old jersey and shorts weren't the best for keeping warm.
Shane turned and kept walking, your farmhouse light flickered off behind him, leaving only the moon as his guiding light. It wasn't as bad without holding you up, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss the warmth you provided. He followed the tracks that were already filling in from earlier, shoveling in the morning would be a pain in the ass but maybe Jas could built a fort or something with all the extra snow.
The wind howled around him, ruffling already messy hair and nipping his face red. Shane trekked through the snow, passed the bus stop and back into town. When pelican town came into view, it felt odd. The snow blanketed the buildings white and all the lights except street posts were off. It was almost eerie how dead the town got, Shane didn't care either way. He actually preferred it quiet. Leaving the city was simultaneously the best and worst decision he's ever made.
Shane hugged himself tighter as he passed the saloon, you so fucking owed him for falling asleep wrapped in his sweater. While he technically could've fought you for it, it didn't seem worth the effort, until he was in shuffling through snow in the cold. He passed through town fairly quickly, not wanting to spend more time out than he really had to. Even the saloons lights were off, what time was it anyway? Did it matter?
His walk back to Marnie's was a freezing one, and he was glad to see the ranch finally coming into view. The cows and chickens were locked in, he'd check on them like usual in the morning. He really needed time to rant to Charlie. The ranch lights were out, but the door was thankfully unlocked - it took him an embarrassing amount of time to realize his keys were also in his sweater.
Shane opened the door, as quiet as he could and was greeted by the lingering warmth of the recently smoldered fire. He kicked off his shoes by the door and smiled, Marnie must've put it out before disappearing to meet Lewis at his place. They always snuck in or out of eachother's houses - but he honestly didn't care. His aunt was happy, Jas was happy , and that was good enough for him.
He shuffled quietly through the dark house, an action so familiar it came easy, at least he wasn't stumbling this time. He avoided bumping into anything, quickly slipping into his room and closing the door. He flicked on a light by his bed, and then quickly made his way over the the mini fridge. There wasn't much left in there, but it would do for now.
He sat down on the cushion on the floor, with a six pack next to him. It wasn't a plan to finish it all tonight, but if he did he did - he'd plan to get more tomorrow. The small tv flickered on as he picked up his gaming controller. Shane cracked open a beer can before downing a considerable amount of it. The action briefly brought his mind back to you.