Chapter Text
Henbane, HorseNapping and Other Obstacles
Chapter One
"Xena?"
The warrior glanced sideways at her partner as they rode along toward Amphipolis. "Yeees?" She offered playfully.
"Promise me, when we retire we’ll go some place warm. Can’t say I’m wild about that northern region."
"Aww, but gee, Gabrielle, you had so many ‘admirers’ up north. All of them perfectly willing to keep you warm. Brunhilda did it for over a year." She continued to tease.
"Would you please knock it off!" The bard took her foot from the stirrup and gave Xena a little shove. "Your Majesty, O’Mighty Queen of Denmark…" A blonde brow rose, challenging the warrior to dispute it.
"I was dethroned." Xena smirked. "Sentenced to death," She turned suddenly, playfully grabbing Gabrielle’s arm. "AGAIN!" She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Will they never learn?"
"Probably not. Just can’t keep a good woman down."
"Oh yes I can." This time Xena leered at her partner and licked her lips. "One way or another."
Gabrielle slapped her hand over her eyes and pulled down slowly trying to keep the heat from appearing in her cheeks. How does she still manage to do that after all these years?
"You know, you’re still gorgeous when you blush."
"I AM NOT BLUSHING!" She squirmed around in the saddle trying to regained some small sense of her dignity
Xena rolled her head and shoulders, the popping that accompanied that action actually startled Gabrielle in its intensity. The warrior groaned a bit. "I’ll be so glad to get home so we can sleep in our own bed."
"We have a bed somewhere?" Gabrielle grumbled a bit.
Hmm an extended nap does not agree with her. Step carefully warrior or you’ll be sleeping in the barn. "You know, Gabrielle...at Mother’s. She always kept a room for us. Our room, our bed. That’s all."
Gabrielle only nodded. "I’m sorry, Xena, I’m just tired and grumpy. New saddle you know." She sighed. "New saddle, new horse, new everything," she mumbled.
"Then let’s take a vacation," Xena offered with a shrug.
"You’re kidding, right?"
"Nope. Let’s go home. See if by chance the kids are there or if there is any word of them and if everything seems okay, we’ll take some time off. Hopefully, Eve and Virgil won’t be in any trouble that they need moms or favorite aunts to bail them out of."
"Ahh, time off for good behavior." The bard smiled. "I like that."
Xena leaned over and nuzzled her partner’s ear. "Or bad behavior. I like that even more."
"Yes, that sounds appealing, however…"
"Yes?" Xena drawled.
"Can we call it something other than a vacation? Our last ‘vacation’ in North Africa was far from what either of us expected."
"Well, this is Amphipolis," Xena countered. "What could happen there?"
"Oh I don’t know. The portal of hell could open up in your backyard," Gabrielle retorted sarcastically.
"Geeze, someone really did get up on the wrong side of the bedroll today," Xena sighed.
"I’m sorry," Gabrielle replied. "I know you’re trying here. Like I said, I’m just tired. You know how cranky I get when I’m worn out."
Xena smiled at her lover, which in turn brought a grin to Gabrielle’s face.
"I know," Xena answered. "We could both use a little rest and relaxation. Speaking of which, let’s walk the horses for a bit. They could use the break," Xena said, swinging herself from the saddle with Gabrielle following suit.
"Okay, so it’s settled then. Amphipolis it is," Gabrielle replied with more optimism and a firm nod of her head.
"Well, look at what we have here? Two lovely maidens for the taking."
Xena and Gabrielle broke their affectionate gaze to see five burly, grimey highwaymen in front of them.
Gabrielle sighed and rolled her eyes.
"What was that you were saying ‘bout trouble finding us?" the bard teased.
"Let’s try this the easy way," the leader of the thugs called out to them. "Give us your purse and you’ll pass without harm."
Xena and Gabrielle continued to walk closer. Xena leaned down to Gabby’s ear, "Okay who’s gonna take care of these guys – you or me?" she asked.
"I think I’m more in the mood to give someone a good ass kicking than you are," Gabrielle replied coldly.
Yeah, she looks like she could pull the wings off a harpy, Xena considered silently as she watched Gabrielle’s eyes narrow and her jaw set as they approached closer to the outlaws. Hera’s curse must be coming on soon.
They were now only a few feet away and Xena turned to face their ‘would be attackers’.
"We could give you our purses, but your colors are all wrong. It would break up that lovely ensemble you’ve got going on." She grinned as she pointed out their attire.
The group of men chuckled.
"That’s very funny." The leader grinned. "But seriously," he said suddenly sneering, "Your money or your life?"
Xena casually turned to Gabrielle. "Well, we did give them a choice."
"Yes," Gabrielle growled. "That we did."
Gabrielle took three strides until she was nose to... chest... with the leader.
"I’m only gonna say this once - Get outta our way," she said looking up as she threatened him.
"You’re awful cute when you’re angry," he replied, moving up to condescendingly pat her on the head.
As the soon as the words left his mouth, Xena winced. Ohhhh that was NOT the right thing to say, she thought silently. I told her that once... Just once.
Before the man could touch a hair on the bard’s head, she grabbed his hand, breaking the man’s fingers with such force it brought him howling to his knees. With her grip still firm on her ‘taunter’, Gabrielle kicked left and then right knocking both men on either side of him to the ground.
Ooooh... Argh... Ouch... Oh yeah that will leave a mark... Look left Gab-thata girl…Boy is he gonna feel that in the morning. Xena continued to watch the bard, silently commenting in her mind.
When the last man fell and wisely decided not to get back up again, Xena took the horses through the human litter on the ground. She casually stepped on one man, disregarding the ‘oohmp’ noise he made, until she was at Gabrielle’s side.
"Here you go," Xena said handing the reins back to her partner.
"Thanks," Gabrielle answered a bit winded.
"Feel better?" Xena asked.
Gabrielle paused a moment to truly consider the question, "Actually yeah... I think a morning workout is just what I needed."
Xena nodded her acceptance. "That’s good... Shall we?" she asked with a grand gesture of her hand up the road.
"After you, my warrior princess," Gabrielle countered.
* * *
"Wow!" Gabrielle turned small circles as they walked into the village. Village actually was the wrong term now. Xena’s home had actually become a town in the time they had been gone.
"To say the least." Xena looked at all the new structures, turning her head to watch just a moment as several men raised the wall on another. "They’ve been busy."
"It’s nice to see so many people and so much prosperity."
"It certainly is."
Xena suddenly darted to the left where the men were hoisting a wall into place. Noticing the sway of the structure, Gabrielle was hot on Xena’s heals. They managed to add their backs to the wall to keep it from falling further than it already had when Xena heard the rope snapping.
Gabrielle adjusted her shoulders, gaining more footing. "You could give a little warning next time!" She grunted, pushing back against the structure.
"If I have warning, I’ll give it to you!" Xena pushed, hoping that one of these fools would get a new rope strung quickly.
"How long does it take to say ‘rope breaking’ for God’s sake!"
"Gabrielle, yell at me later! Like when there’s not a wall falling on us." She gave a relieved groan when she finally felt the pressure give off her back. Her lower back just hadn’t been the same since that whole being nailed to a cross thing.
The women checked a couple of the men who had actually seemed to be hurt when the structure had started to give, but found them to be more shaken that anything. "Just put a cloth on that cut, it’ll stop on it’s own. It’s not that bad." Gabrielle told one man about a small cut to his forehead.
Bending another man’s arm, Xena gave him a pat on the back. "No serious damage done."
The group of men murmured their thanks as they walked away. Xena turned at the waist, groaning while her hand massaged the small of her back.
"You strained it again didn’t you?" Gabrielle eyed her lover, daring her to try and lie.
"Uh-well I don’t think it’s officially strained. I think it’s just badly stretched."
"Uh-huh." The bard rolled her eyes. "Let’s go see if the inn is functional and get you in a hot tub of water. Then I’ll rub some of that horse lineament on it."
"We’re all out. I need to make some more. So we’ll need to pick up some supplies while we’re here."
"There’s something I haven’t done in a while."
"What?"
"Haggling in the market."
Like I’d unleash you on the vendors right now with the mood you’re in. "Well, I’m sure we can find something at the inn for now. Besides a long soak in a tub just might do it."
Turning the corner, they discovered that Cyrene’s inn had indeed been restored and seemed to be in the best shape the pair had ever seen it in. Xena looked to Gabrielle and lifted her brows in surprise. "Guess it really did just need a coat of paint."
"It looks great!" Gabrielle smiled and pointed at the sign. "Look."
"Cyrene’s Tavern and Inn, Finest in all of Greece. Well, now, that’s nice. Wonder who took it over after we left?"
"Oh Dunderhead!" a voice shouted out.
Gabrielle smiled. "I’d recognize that voice anywhere. That’s Evie."
"Sure is. Wonder who Dunderhead is?"
"Don’t call me that!" A male voice called back.
The warrior and the bard intoned at the same time. "Virgil."
The pair continued to argue as they attempted to place some kind of banner near the entrance. Eve sat on Virgil’s shoulders as she tried to position it ‘just perfect’ above her.
"A little to the left," Gabrielle shouted toward the duo, razzing them just a bit.
Virgil turned around quickly making Eve sway on top.
"For the love of Eli, Virgil would you-."
Eve’s eyes got wide and her jaw nearly conked her ‘ladder’ on top of the head. Virgil instinctively started toward Xena and Gabrielle and in doing so Eve nearly lost her balance. She hooked him around the chin to keep from falling. Quickly, Virgil remembered he had Eve on his shoulders – a fact that was momentarily forgotten upon suddenly seeing the warrior and bard before him.
"Put me down Dunderhead," Eve ordered.
"How ‘bout I throw you down if you call me that one more time?" he threatened as he began to kneel.
As fast as she could, Eve jumped off Virgil’s shoulders with such force it put him on his backside. As he sat in a cloud of dust Eve ran to their visitors.
"Mother! Gabrielle!" she squealed.
Both women had to smile. Eve was a grown woman, but she sounded so young sometimes, this being one of them. The three of them embraced as Virgil rose and dusted himself off.
"It’s been so long. When I didn’t get a scroll I... I thought the worse," she said, deciding to change her choice of words at the end. In truth she thought they were dead. She couldn’t bring herself to say it however.
"Well, we’re just fine," Xena told her. "How you doin’, Virgil?" Xena asked, calling over Eve’s shoulder as the young man came over.
"Can’t complain." He smiled as he walked over, giving Gabrielle a hug.
"Eli above," Eve began, "It’s been over a year. Where have you two been?"
"Getting some much needed beauty rest," Gabrielle replied with a grin.
Eve and Virgil both cocked their heads unsure of what Gabrielle was talking about.
"Come on," Xena said taking her daughter by one hand and her bard with the other, heading into the tavern. "It’s a long story."
"Aren’t they always?" Virgil joked as he followed them inside.
* * *
Gabrielle watched Xena and Eve at the bar talking and laughing, doing some serious mother daughter bonding. As she blew on her stew, she had to smile at the picture, hoping that maybe their lives would remain quiet for a time, so they could all become the family they deserved to be. She was also very happy to be home again for the time being. She knew Xena’s need to move on wouldn’t let them stay for long, but if she could talk her partner into just a few weeks, she herself, felt like she might be ready to go then too.
Virgil brought a mug and sat down with her. "What do you dream about when you sleep for a year?"
"I dreamt of Xena. A lot." She gave a little grin before taking a bite of her stew.
"Musta been something." He gestured. "You gonna leave it long?" he asked pointing at her golden locks.
She reached back to her hair which was pulled back at the moment, in a tight ponytail. "Well, I want to leave it and Xena wants me to cut it again. She says she’s gotten used to it being short, so we’re negotiating."
"That should be interesting."
"It is. Every night she has to give me a reason why she wants me to cut it and I have to give a reason not to. The first person who can’t come up with a reason or repeats a reason, loses."
"Very imaginative way to handle it."
"I thought so. Since it’s my hair and I have the best reason, which I still haven’t given yet. I’m saving it for when I finally want to win and quit playing with her."
"Which is . . .?"
"It’s my body and I say so." She chuckled, sticking her spoon in her stew. "She still isn’t quite sure how to handle it when I do that and it leaves her speechless every time."
"Sneaky."
"Thanks." She grinned conspiratorially. "When you’ve been together as long as Xena and I have, you learn how to be sneaky. You have to." She favored her warrior with a smile, which Xena saw and returned from the bar.
The warrior picked up a basket of bread, then strolled over to the table. "Is this a private bard party or are warrior’s allowed to join?" She placed the basket down then took a chair across from the bards.
"Well, someone has to be here to keep the peace when we get drunk and rowdy." Gabrielle lifted her mug of mead, before taking a long drink.
"Riiiiiiight." Xena grinned, tipping her chair back slightly. "I don’t intend to let you get that drunk Gabrielle."
The bard decided it was time to flirt with her partner, something she hadn’t done in a while. "Why how drunk do you intend to get me? Just enough to make me loose?""
"Okay that’s enough for me." Virgil piped up. He rose from his seat and gestured to the bar. "I’ll be in the back if you need me."
The warrior and the bard had locked eyes when Gabrielle had trailed her tongue over her lips after that last question to Xena. "We won’t." They answered together, their gaze on each other unbroken.
"You didn’t answer my question Xena," the bard countered as she took her time licking the stew from her spoon, trying to pique the warrior’s interest. It didn’t take much. Xena took an unsteady breath and shifted a bit in her chair at the seductive gesture. She’s not gonna win, the warrior said steadying herself. At least not yet.
"I don’t have to get you drunk to make you loose…Virgil on the other hand," Xena smirked.
"A momentary lapse of judgment," Gabrielle countered. "My darkside coming out to play."
"And far too much wine," Xena countered, sticking her finger into Gabrielle’s bowl and licking it off her finger. Two can play this game my bard. "But I’ll never have to resort to wine."
Gabrielle watched as Xena’s tongue rolled around her digit, soaking up the stew. "Oh really?" Gabrielle asked, trying to hide the crack that came to her voice.
"Mmm Hmm," Xena nodded slowly. Gotcha my bard.
"You’re awfully cocky tonight aren’t you?" Gabrielle chuckled.
"I’m not cocky, Gabrielle," the warrior answered with as much honesty as she could muster. "I’m just as good as I say I am... Are you gonna tell me different?" she added.
I could, but you’d never believe it because we both know you’re right. "Yeah." Gabrielle grinned. "You’re good – you’re very, very good."
"See? I don’t need wine. All I gotta do is flash my baby blues," Xena countered, wiggling her little finger in Gabrielle’s face as a sign of how ‘wrapped’ the bard could be at times.
The bard tossed her napkin at the warrior, hitting her square in the face. When it hung there on the warrior’s head, blocking her lovely features, the bard grinned. Gabrielle began to imagine Xena’s expression underneath the cloth the longer it stayed there and the bard started to chuckle.
"Direct hit," the bard teased her.
Finally, Xena pulled it down with one quick swipe. "You’re gonna get it, Gabrielle."
"Promise?" the bard answered wiggling her eyebrows and continuing to chuckle.
You betcha I promise. Xena smiled and rose from the table. "Didn’t you promise me a hot bath first?" she asked. "I think MY promise comes first."
"That I did," Gabrielle said rising from the table. "You rest that ‘slightly strained’ back of yours for a moment and I’ll set things up for you," Gabrielle said as she walked around to the warrior.
"Ahh, you’re too good to me," Xena answered, pulling the bard closer so she could lean down and give the bard a tender kiss which she happily accepted.
"Yeah, I know," the bard countered in a playful monotone, dashing away before Xena could offer a retort.
The warrior watched her partner walk away and tilted her head to appreciate the lovely view. "What a woman."
* * *
"Ohhhhhh yeeeaah." Xena exhaled appreciatively as she slid into the steaming hot water. "This is great." She slipped completely under the water as Gabrielle watched from across the room where she was gathering towels and robes to warm by the fire.
The bard placed everything near the hearth and poured two cups of warm spiced wine. Then she moved slowly to the edge of the tub and waited for Xena to surface. A pale brow rose when the warrior didn’t come back up. She placed the cups on the ledge and peered into the tub. "Xena? Come on warrior this isn’t funny." Just as she began to reach into to the water a strong hand shot up and caught her by the wrist. She pulled back laughing, but not capable of breaking the iron grip. "Oh no you don’t!" She tried harder to back off only to have Xena shoot up out of the water and pull her back.
"Come’re my bard!"
No matter how many times Gabrielle saw it, it never ceased to amaze her and leave her breathless. The warrior’s body with water dripping down it had to be the absolute sexiest thing in the known world. The fact that it made her weak in the knees only served to defeat her purpose this time around. "Xena!" She yelped when she got pulled into the tub, clothes and all.
When they resurfaced, the bard pushed her bangs from her eyes and spit the water in her mouth directly at her warrior. "I hate you!" She teased.
"Do not." Xena reached over and untied the string at the bard’s neck. The weight of the water in the material caused it to fall away all on its own. "I knew there was a reason I liked this new outfit. It slides right off when wet." There was an evil chuckle followed by a slight splashing as Xena moved forward to give a warm kiss to a very erect nipple.
"Oooo Xena…" The bard sighed, long and hard as she felt a familiar burn start long and hard. "Your back."
"Is fine." She mumbled continuing to explore her partner. "Hot bath," Her head moved up just slightly nipping at tender flesh of a bardly collarbone. "And a hot bard help a lot."
"Glad to hear it." Gabrielle moaned, giving her warrior a slight push down on the shoulders so she would resume her previous activities. "You should be in REAL good shape by morning."
"If I’m lucky I won’t be able to walk by morning." Xena chuckled, resuming her taste test.
"If you’re lucky I won’t be able to walk in the morning." Gabrielle released her soaked skirt and tossed it from the tub even as Xena’s hands slid between the bard’s legs, parting them so she could get comfortable.
They were so happy and consumed by their mutual needs and desires that they didn’t hear the door open.
"Oh I am soooooo sorry…" Eve covered her eyes and tried to get out of the room gracefully, but after bumping into the door frame three times, she just finally removed her hand from her eyes and dashed from the room. Leaving the door open to anyone who might be passing by.
Gabrielle groaned and pulled away from Xena, reaching for a towel. When she turned back to hand it to her partner her elbow caught the warrior right in the eye.
"Oww! Damn!" Xena managed to grab the towel, her eye and wrap the cloth around her body. She huffed, a bit climbing out of the tub to grab a robe. "Evie!" She called making a quick exit to look for their daughter.
The bard climbed out of the tub, only to have her feet slide out from under her on the wet stone floor. She hit the floor with a sickening thump. She groaned when she realized she had just thrown her own back out and it was completely out, not just slightly strained.
She lay there contemplating how long it would take someone to find a wet, naked bard who couldn’t get up on her own. "Shit," the she groaned out loud in a ‘go figure’ tone. The fitting end to a fitting day.
She didn’t have to wait long. She heard a voice enter the room.
"Hello?"
Gabrielle knew her feet were probably exposed while the tub shielded the rest of her body. She also knew that she recognized the voice. She heard the footsteps approach, but knew she was helpless to move.
As Virgil peered around the tub, his eyes widened.
"Wha-wha. . .What happened?" he finally managed after a thorough examination of the bard’s body.
"Better hope Xena doesn’t come back in here to find you looking at me like this," Gabrielle warned.
Quickly, Virgil’s eyes darted around, looking everywhere else, but the bard. His finger absently played with the tub as he muttered, "Did you need help?"
"Help would be nice," Gabrielle answered sarcastically. "I fell and threw my back out. I can’t move."
Virgil knew how serious hurting ones back could be. He saw many of his friends laid up for days when horses threw them. He even had a friend who couldn’t move his legs again as a result. With that knowledge his awkwardness melted into concern and he looked at the bard again.
"Can you feel your legs and arms?" he asked, kneeling down at Gabrielle’s feet.
"Yes," she answered. "I just knocked a few things out of place."
He picked up one of her feet by the ankles. "Can you feel that?" he asked poking her sole. Gabrielle nodded and he did the same test on the other leg. Without haste he grabbed a towel and draped it over the bard.
"Let’s get you to your room," Virgil said as he carefully picked the bard up in his arms. She gave a little groan. He began to give a light chuckle as they moved down the hall.
"What?" Gabrielle asked.
"Last time I carried you around was in the temple," he blurted.
"Yeah, I remember. Worst mistake of your life. Don’t forget that Virgil. Without ‘darkness in your heart’ you might just end up on the business end of a chakram."
"Yes ma’am," he answered obediently as her carried her along.
While Virgil had been tending to Gabrielle, Xena managed to corner Eve in the kitchen. She too was finding a hard time making eye contact.
"Eve, look at me," Xena ordered. For a brief moment the young woman looked up to her mother. "You can’t stand here and tell me you had NO IDEA about Gabrielle and I." Immediately Eve’s eyes shot away again.
"Honest mother, I didn’t know," she muttered. "I mean I know Gabrielle gave me her rite of caste; I know you’ve been buried next to each other for 25 years; I know you refer to me as ‘our daughter’... But I didn’t... know."
Xena looked flabbergasted – totally amazed. Xena wondered if Eve sacrificed one ‘light’ for another. The castle’s lit, but obviously no one is home. How could anyone in their right mind NOT see her with Gabrielle?!
"Look Eve, point is I love Gabrielle. She and I have been... intimate... for many years."
"Are you married?"
"No," Xena asked a bit confused by the question. "Does that matter?" she added when she couldn’t think of why the young woman had asked.
"Does that matter?! Of course it matters! Don’t you think you should make an honest woman of Gabrielle?!" Eve chastised, trying to keep her voice down, but her intent clear.
"Gabrielle is an honest woman in her own right. She doesn’t need me to do it for her," Xena answered.
"No mother," Eve said shaking her head. "You don’t understand. I know Gabrielle is honest. What I’m talking about is making it official – declaring before God that you will love her for all eternity."
"The only person I need to declare that to is Gabrielle - regardless of any God."
Eve looked truly appalled. "Mother, how can you say that?!"
"Eve," Xena said rubbing her temples. "My head hurts, my back aches and I’ve got an itch that needs to be scratched by a certain blonde bard, heathen that I am, I know... We can finish this conversation later," she said before walking back to the washroom.
With any luck the bard would still as... wet... and the water almost as warm. Xena opened the door to the washroom to find a hairy, burly man sitting in the tub. She realized her luck wasn’t holding out very well and prayed that this ‘person’ before her wasn’t Gabrielle – some cruel transformation of her blonde beauty by some petty god. Given the luck she was having she had to make sure by speaking to him…
"Sorry." Xena grinned. "Seems I misplaced a small blonde woman around here," she said looking around the room.
"Long hair?" he asked.
"Yeah. You saw her?"
"Just a few moments ago. Passed them in the hall way."
"Them?" Xena asked her eyebrows shooting up into her bangs.
"Some young man was carrying her, talkin ‘bout the two of them in a temple or something like that."
Virgil! What the hell is Virgil doing carrying her?
"I’ll tell you what," the man laughed heartily. "He was in a rush to get her back to that room down there. I don’t blame him. She was as naked as the day she was born under that towel and let me tell you-."
What the hell is Virgil doing carrying her around naked, talking about the temple? The temple where the two of them... That’s it!! His scrawny little ass is MINE! Xena saw red.
"Thanks," Xena said briskly, closing the door, not listening to the man finish. She stormed down the hallway. Carry my bard around naked, huh? I might have a sore back, but that doesn’t mean that pretty boy is gonna step in after my departure. Nah ah. No way. When I get my hands on him . . .
Xena opened her bedroom door to find Gabrielle sprawled out naked on the bed and Virgil’s finger’s wrapped around her bard’s britches around mid thigh.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"
Gabrielle could have sworn she heard the rafters crack at the boom in Xena’s voice. Virgil jumped about 10 feet from the bed, nearly knocking over an oil lamp on the bureau behind him, setting the whole place ablaze.
"It’s not what it looks like," Gabby and Virgil said in perfect harmony. Gabrielle sounded totally annoyed by the situation; Virgil sounded totally petrified. He’d heard all of his father’s stories. He knew what the woman was capable of... especially when it came to Gabrielle. He began to towel his sweaty forehead, but came to an abrupt stop when he realized it was Gabrielle’s britches he was using, which he still held.
"She fell. I helped. She needed clothes. I-."
"Settle down," the bard ordered the young man casually to saving him from his fast paced nervous babbling. "Xena, after you left I fell down and Virgil found me. He brought me here and he was getting me dressed when you came in. Now could you do that ‘pop thingy’ you do and put me back together so I can at least sit up?"
Virgil took that has his cue to leave and started toward the door. As he began to pass Xena, she took him by the shoulder – with a grip a little firmer than necessary – and held out her other hand. He seemed baffled at first, but realized in his haste that he was still holding Gabrielle’s britches. With a nervous chuckle and a bashful grin, he handed them to Xena and made a hasty retreat.
Xena closed and locked the door. She crawled on the bed, being careful not to move it too much.
"Are you okay?" Xena asked as she adjusted the britches.
"Yeah, just a little sore right now." Gabrielle grinned. Xena returned the smile, but Gabrielle could tell there was something more behind it. "What is it?" the bard asked.
"I saw a man in the tub who passed you. He said the two of you were together and I thought . . ." Xena didn’t finish the sentence. She started to chuckle at the ridiculousness of it... at least it seemed that way now.
"The two of us together and... ?" Gabrielle asked, the irritation rising in her voice.
Xena could tell by that tone, Gabrielle was not pleased. Why couldn’t you just keep your big trap shut? Stupid warrior. "Nothing," Xena muttered. But she knew it was too late. She knew she was busted.
"You thought I was fooling around on you? Is that it, Xena?" Gabrielle asked.
"Well, you two did get quite cozy the last time we were here," Xena defended as she rolled the bard over carefully. She began to go to work and Gabrielle seemed oblivious to the poking and prodding of Xena’s fingers trying to align her spine again.
"I don’t believe it!! Xena, after everything we’ve been through. After all these years together you think I would just-."
"It crossed my mind is all," Xena said cutting her off. "And I know you find him attractive."
A series of loud pops ensued as Xena pushed down on the bard’s back, but that didn’t stop Gabrielle from responding.
"You’re really serious," Gabrielle sighed. "I don’t believe this. Have you no faith in me at all?"
"Come on Gabrielle, it’s not like that. You know I trust you," Xena answered as she administered a final ‘pop’. "Now how’s that?" she asked as she moved so the bard could try to sit up.
Gabrielle did sit up, coming eye to eye with the warrior. "Obviously you don’t if you think I’d just hop right into bed with Virgil the minute your back was turned."
"I’m sorry Gabrielle, but I’ve never seen you... ‘sexual’ with anyone except Virgil."
"And what about all those times with you? They went unnoticed?"
Now she’s fishing for a fight. Okay! Fine! Just shut up now while you’re behind. No sense in digging yourself in deeper here. "I think we should just drop this conversation right now, okay? Forget I mentioned it alright?" Xena tried to stroke the bard’s cheek, but Gabrielle pulled back.
"Oh no," Gabrielle answered, all playfulness removed from her voice. "You have to get over this. I got over you getting hot and heavy over Lucifer. You have to get past this."
"Yeah, well you didn’t get a coat upside the head," Xena countered.
"Would that make you feel better?" Gabrielle added. "Will that make you trust me and Virgil to be alone in the same room?"
"Gabrielle you’re blowing this all out of proportion," Xena answered.
"THE HELL I AM!" came the response.
Oh shit. Now you’ve done it, Xena sighed in her mind. She tried her damnedest not to roll her eyes, but failed. The bard saw her do it and it only fueled her anger more. This just isn’t my day. "Look can we just calm down here a moment?"
"Sure," Gabrielle said as she rolled up the bedspread and threw it at the warrior. "Go be calm in the barn tonight," she ordered. She walked over and opened the door, pitching a thumb outside.
"Gabrielle," the warrior said trying to reach her. But with Gabrielle’s toe tapping and her arms crossed, Xena knew that wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon. She resigned herself to her fate and got up walking outside. She turned around to say one final word to the bard for the night and got the door slammed in her face.
"You’re welcome for fixing your back," Xena called through the door.
"Thanks," Gabrielle shouted back. "Now go away."
Xena rolled up her bedspread a little tighter and started down the long hallway... Shit . . .
Chapter 2
Xena groaned. Eve and Virgil had indeed done a wonderful job restoring the tavern and the rooms there. So good, in fact, that there hadn’t been a spare room for her to occupy and she had indeed been relegated to the barn. And now her back really hurt. "Got to soothe a grumpy bard." She groaned again, rolling over in the hay.
Eve, apparently miffed at her Mother’s reluctance to get married had refused to let her into her room. And Virgil had the door to his room blocked with a heavy piece of furniture and her back just didn’t feel like shoving past it to toss him out and sleep in his bed.
And she most certainly was not going to go back and beg to be let back into to their room. Gabrielle wanted to sleep alone, she could just sleep alone. As a matter of fact she just might let her sleep alone again tonight, just to prove a point.
One blue eye opened as she lay on her stomach and watched below as the barn doors opened. "Mother?"
"Up here Evie." The warrior made no effort to move. This is what mother guilt was all about. It would do her daughter good to see her own mother despondent and dejected and laying in a pile of straw like the family dog. God, Xena you’re so full of it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
The young woman climbed the ladder stopping at the top and looking to her mother. "Breakfast is ready."
"Am I invited? I thought everyone inside was mad at me."
"Virgil’s not mad, he’s terrified. I’m not mad, just disappointed. Now, I have to admit Gabrielle looks mad…Gurkhan raving mad actually. She looks pretty pissed. What did you do it her?"
Xena sucked air in through her teeth. Flowers. Take her flowers. "So terrified, angry and disappointed, huh? I’m three outta three it seems. My average for offending my family is pretty good . . .Why are you disappointed?" The warrior asked even as she crawled over to the ladder and motioned Eve down so she could climb out of the loft.
"Well," She backed slowly down the ladder. "I’m disappointed in your reluctance to marry a woman you claim to love so much. Seemed to me that if you loved her you’d want to marry her."
Xena looked up to the ceiling and rolled her eyes. "Eli help me…"
"Oh no Mother don’t you bring Eli into this."
"Don’t you tell me when I can call on Eli for strength. I actually KNEW him, don’t you forget. And even HE knew about Gabrielle and I and he didn’t push us to get married."
"I’m sure he would have."
"Evie, I love Gabrielle and she loves me. We don’t need a ceremony to prove that to each other."
"All right, all right." The young woman dusted her hands. "I don’t want you to think I’m nagging, but…"
"Then don’t." Xena slid off the ladder and turned for the door. "Just be happy that I have her in my life and that we’re a family." She wrapped her arm around Eve’s shoulders. "She loves you as much as I do. You should have seen how protective she was of me when I was pregnant for you. She’s always been there for us and she always will be."
"Then why is she mumbling under her breath that you’re a horses' ass?"
Xena sighed. "Because I was. I kinda made some comment about her and Virgil being together," she mumbled in shame.
"Why not? She’s a free woman. She can see who ever she likes. No ring on her finger. No siree-." Eve smirked.
"Enough, Evie," Xena said firmly. Or I’m gonna choke you. "... Any place around here to buy fresh flowers?" she tried to add diplomatically.
"The market. Come on. I need to buy some spices for the kitchen. I’ll go with you."
Xena followed her daughter out of the barn and the duo walked slowly toward the center of town. "So Evie, what brings so much prosperity to Amphipolis?"
"Well, I like to think it’s a blessing from Eli, but in all honesty it probably has something to do with the fact at he turned into a little bit of a tourist trap."
"How did Eli turn it into…"
Eve gave her mother a playful slap to the arm. "Not Eli. Salmoneus…"
"Salmoneus? He must be at least seventy-five!"
Eve laughed. "Actually he is, but I’m not talking about Old Man Salmoneus, I’m talking about his son."
Xena’s head dropped. "Show me."
"Mother you don’t want to see it. It’s not something you’d approve of."
"I’m sure I won't. Show me."
Eve sighed taking the lead. "Come on." She led her mother about a block from the inn, where an area had been blocked of with heavy beams and ropes, but a large sign had been erected proclaiming that spot to be the ‘Portal to Hell’.
"Oh good grief!" Xena sputtered as she made her way through the crowd to the front. She looked around until she spotted a young man. She raised her hand and beckoned him to her by crooking her finger. "You! Come here!"
The young man smiled and made his way over to the woman. "Yes, how can I help you?"
He wasn’t expecting to be grabbed by the front of his tunic. "What do you think you’re doing?!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.
"I’m… I’m…" He stammered.
An aged man leaning on a staff slowly made his way out of a small shack. "I may be half deaf, but I’d know that bellow anywhere." He paused looking sideways, like a man whose vision is failing is want to do. "Xena’s here somewhere."
The warrior let go of the young man and stalked over to the old man. "Salmoneus, is that really you?"
"What’s left of me, Xena." He offered her his arm and she took it gently.
"I’m sorry Sal, but I really figured you’d be…well…"
"Dead?"
"Yeah."
"I would be, but I refuse to go until I can figure out how to take it with me."
Xena couldn’t help but laugh. "Trust me my friend, you’re gonna live forever because I’ve been there, done that and there’s just no way to do it."
"So I heard and that suits me just fine. Do you know how much money the boy and I are making here?"
"Do you realize that this is not the spot?"
"Yeah, but Eve and Virgil wouldn’t let me near the real thing. They refused to be a part of the sca…umm…business opportunity."
"Good for them." Xena fingered a tunic then pick it up and unfolded it. "What's this? ‘My mom went to the Portal of Hell and all I got was this lousy tunic’. Oh Salmoneus come on! This is ridiculous."
"Actually it’s our second biggest seller."
"I don’t think I want to know the first," she muttered.
"Brimstones – the rocks of hell!" he said holding one up.
"The only man I know who can sell dirt to farmers," Xena sighed. She tossed the tunic down and looked at him. "Sal, you had better hope that portal doesn’t open back up because if it does, you are going straight down." The warrior looked around at the crowd wishing there were some way to disperse them. She rubbed her temples, feeling her headache coming back. Taking a deep breath she looked to her old friend. "I’ll be back."
"I’ll be here."
* * *
Eve and Xena returned to the inn. Eve put the bag holding her spices over her shoulder and headed for the kitchen. Virgil gulped and nodded nervously from the bar. He took a step back when Xena wandered over to him. She leaned on the bar and motioned him closer. He stepped forward expecting this to be his last moment to live.
"I’m sorry." She said quietly.
"Huh?" He wasn’t sure he could believe he was actually hearing this.
"I’m not gonna say it again. But thanks for taking care of Gabrielle. I’m glad you got there before the next occupant of the room."
"You’re…you’re welcome. Ah, Xena?"
"Yes?"
"I grew up on stories of you and Gabrielle. I love you both like aunts. You know that right? I mean I’d do anything for you, but…I know that you’re umm sorta exclusive to each other."
"Thanks. Try to explain that to my daughter will you?"
"Like she’d listen to me. For a follower of Eli she is the most stubborn human being in the known world."
The warrior chucked the young poet on the shoulder.
"She comes by it honestly. Be patient. Where’s Gabrielle?"
"She said she was going to go out back and do some yoga."
Xena head dropped. "God! Yoga! She’s still pissed." She lifted the flowers she had brought and looked at them. "Shoulda bought the whole rose bush."
"If a fight with her is like a fight with Eve, she’d just get mad cause it had thorns," Virgil joked.
Xena nodded, took a deep breath and headed out back in search of her bard. Okay I’ll beg and grovel. I don’t want to sleep in the barn again tonight.
Gabrielle’s eyes snapped open and the sais were clear of her boots and in her hands without a second thought as she whirled around in a defensive pose.
"Whoa! Just a Greek bearing a gift." Xena thrust the flowers out in front of her.
With one quick swipe the petals all cascaded to Xena’s feet and she was left holding barren stems.
"Lemme guess," Xena began, "you’re still upset?" Oh yeah, she’s raging. Maybe I taught her the pinch a little too soon. I gotta feeling that’s coming next.
Gabrielle re-sheathed her weapons and took two strides to come inches from Xena.
"You walk out here with flowers and that’s supposed to make it all better?"
"No," Xena sighed. "It’s supposed to be a peace offering so I can at least speak to you," she added as she looked at the stems before tossing them over her shoulder.
"You wanna talk then talk. I don’t need party favors," Gabrielle replied.
Tell her the truth. "I love you," Xena said.
"Yeah, but you don’t trust me," Gabrielle answered cutting her short.
"Lemme finish, okay?"
Gabrielle relented and nodded for Xena to continue.
"I love you. I do trust you. I just don’t trust my luck or the fates."
"We make our own destinies Xena, remember?" Gabrielle said breaking in. Xena gave her a disapproving glare and Gabrielle held up her hands of a sign of truce for the time being so the warrior could continue.
"That’s true, but I also know that some things are beyond my control. You see Gabrielle, I’ve lost everything I ever loved. Borias, LaMao, Marcus, Hercules, Solan – I loved them all and I lost them for one reason or another. Sometimes it was my own doing. Sometimes it wasn't. And sometimes I get so scared at the thought of losing you that... I see shadows that really aren’t there.
I mean... I know that when the darkness had you and Virgil in its grasp you both did things ‘out of character’. And I know that you wouldn’t do anything like that in a ‘normal’ frame of mind. But sometimes that little voice comes back saying that ‘you and I’ are just too good to be true. One day you’re gonna wake up and decide what a waste your life is with me – you’ll go to the academy again or go home or find some desert boy to wash your feet," she added with a grin. "Point is, I trust you. Sometimes I just doubt my luck and I think the blessings I’ve been given will fade away like so many others have gone. So I’m sorry for offending you. I’m sorry for hurting you. And if I could make it up to you I would. That’s all I had to say," Xena added before turning around to make her way back to the inn.
"Xena."
The sound of her name halted her steps and she turned back around to face Gabrielle.
"I love you too... And I’m sorry. I should have talked to you last night rather than sending you out to the barn. It was very childish of me and I apologize," Gabrielle replied.
"So we can call a truce then?" Xena answered.
Gabrielle grinned and she took a few more strides to come up to Xena. "Truce," she said offering her hand.
Xena took it and Gabrielle pulled her down into a tender kiss, which Xena happily accepted. "I understand that you’ve been through a lot. But know this, Xena." She grinned widely. "I’m in this for the long haul. No academies, no hometowns, no desert boys... Just you and me. That’s all I dreamed about for a year on that Norse rock and I know that’s all I’ll dream about for the rest of my life."
"See? That’s wonderful. You need to tell Eve that," Xena answered.
Gabrielle chuckled. "Eve? I don’t understand."
"She’s told me twice since ‘finding us’ that you and I should get married. I told her that a ceremony isn’t going to make us love each other anymore and we’re happy with the way we live our lives."
"She thinks we should get married?" Gabrielle asked. Xena simply nodded. "I don’t wanna get married, no offense."
"None taken. And that’s good because I’m not asking, no offense."
"Well, I’m glad that’s settled," Gabrielle replied with a smile. "Come on, maybe I can ‘set her straight’ so to speak."
Xena and Gabrielle’s arms naturally went around each other’s hips as they headed toward the inn.
"Didn’t get much sleep last night, did you?" the warrior remarked as they walked.
"What makes you say that?" the bard asked.
"Because those dark circles under your eyes are becoming black," Xena answered. "I’m worried about you."
"Really, I’m okay," Gabrielle answered. "I’ve been having trouble sleeping is all."
"Why’s that?" Xena asked concerned.
Gabrielle paused. "You’d think it’s stupid."
"Whatever it is, if it’s been robbing you of sleep, it can’t be stupid. Please tell me. You might feel better."
Gabrielle stopped short of the door and let out a long sigh. "Okay, but you can’t laugh."
"Okay," Xena said, looking to Gabrielle’s eyes with sincerity.
"Promise?"
Xena sighed in frustration. Cut to the chase bard. "Yes I promise, now tell me."
It was Gabrielle turn to sigh as she debated whether or not to tell Xena. Finally she just spit it out.
"I’m afraid I won’t wake up if I sleep for very long. So if I wake during the night I stay up for awhile…just in case."
What?! That’s it?! "Look Gabrielle, it was a spell Brimhilda put on you. You will wake up after you’ve rested for the night and-."
"Told you it was stupid," Gabrielle answered.
"Well, it’s odd," Xena agreed, trying to be as diplomatic as possible. "But based on the life we’ve led, I can see why you might be concerned. But really Gabrielle, you’re safe now. So don’t worry."
"I’ve tried, but every time I do I just... I’ve already lost 26 years and I don’t want to lose anymore," Gabrielle explained. "So every two hours or so if I’m restless I get up and do ‘something’."
"Like work on a scroll, sharpen your sais, round up more firewood than necessary for the morning-."
"You know about those things?" Gabrielle asked in surprise.
"Well... yeah. I mean I do have to live with you, ya know?"
"You HAVE to live with me?" Gabrielle asked. "You don’t HAVE to live with me Xena. If that’s how you feel, then-."
"Now hold on," Xena said putting her finger across the bard’s lips. "Before this turns into another war over jargon let me rephrase. Since I live with you, I can hear or see you doing these things at night. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want you to think I was ‘prying’ into your personal time or space. I didn’t know there was a fear behind the things you were doing to keep yourself busy. Now don’t take offense," Xena warned. "But I think a big part of why we’ve been at each other’s throats has a lot to do with this ‘sleeping problem’ so WE - not just YOU - have to find a solution. Agreed?"
Gabrielle considered the words, "Yes, I think you’re right. And again I’m sorry."
"That’s okay," Xena told her. "I know how it is when you’re tired. Your reflexes are off, your emotions sour – it’s very difficult to function without rest. So well have to see what we can do to fix this, okay?"
Gabrielle gave a small grin to her warrior, "Thank you. It doesn’t feel so stupid now since you put it that way."
"Well, it’s important that you’re well rested Gabrielle. Especially with us being on the road the way we are. We have to be alert and ready. So let’s spend a few weeks here and see what we can do."
The duo walked inside where Xena saw Virgil in the kitchen and Eve cleaning off a table.
"Well, there she is," Xena pointed out their daughter. "You’re up next," she teased the bard, nudging her over to Eve with her elbow. Gabrielle just grinned and started on her way.
"Hi there Virg," Xena said, slapping the young man on the back.
He nearly jumped out of his skin at the contact. "Hmm, Hi Xena," he answered nervously unsure of what the warriors intentions were.
"Relax," Xena told him. "I know that nothing is going on with you and Gabrielle." She heard the man physically sigh in relief. "But know this, if you ever lay a hand on her again in a sexual way, I’ll cut off both your hands and feed your fingers to the fishes. You got that?"
Virgil looked wide-eyed and he gulped loudly. With that, he gave a quick enthusiastic nod of his head.
"Good boy," Xena answered. "See? We now have an understanding and you and I will continue to get along great!" she said cheerfully before giving him a pat on the back and walking away. He’s just as gullible as his old man.
Once Xena’s back was turned, Virgil finally released the breath he’d been holding. Xena for her part looked out from the pantry to see Gabrielle and Eve at a table. Gabrielle was running a finger through her long hair, obviously frustrated with Eve. Seems she’s making as much progress as I did. Ha!
Xena was about to go over and give the bard a good teasing, but a man burst into the tavern, short of breath.
"They did it again last night!!"
"You’re kidding?" Eve answered. "Again?"
The man nodded firmly as he stepped closer.
"Who did what again?" Gabrielle asked as Xena walked up to join them.
"Horse thieves," Eve answered. "They come into town and they take one horse and goods from the bakery. It’s the oddest thing. It would be quite humorous if it wasn’t for the fact that people are losing the horses they need to farm," she answered.
"Who got hit last night? It wasn’t here in the stables of the inn," Xena answered. At least I hope not. I can’t be slipping that BAD can I?
"No, it was just outside of town at Emmett’s farm. They got a stallion, but they were here in town because Joshua the baker said all his nutbread was gone again."
"Maybe Gabby’s your thief," the warrior joked, nodding her head toward Gabrielle.
That got her a chuckle from Eve and a slap from the irritated bard.
"So there’s a horse thief on the loose? How long has this been going on?" Gabrielle asked as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and tied with a small piece of leather.
"Almost three weeks now. Eight horses have been taken in that time." The man took a seat at the bar. Virgil poured him a mug of cider and set it in front of him. "Thanks Virg."
"Welcome Thad." Virgil leaned in on the bar, scratching his cheek. "What I don’t get is that they disappear without a trace."
Xena lifted a brow. "What do you mean without a trace?"
"Just that. No tracks, no trail. Nothing. It’s like they just vanish or fly away or something."
Eve noticed both her mother and Gabrielle flinch just a bit. She sighed and shook her head. "And we know horses can’t just fly away."
"That depends." Gabrielle mumbled. "Xena, we should check into this. These people are still farmers at heart. They can’t afford to lose these animals."
"Agreed." The warrior sighed as she considered that to get a real vacation she was going to have to go live on top of a mountain somewhere with no one, but her bard around. "Wonder what else is going to crop up while we’re here."
"Xena?" The bard’s brow arched.
"Well, as per usual there are just all kinds of odd little things going on." She extended her hand to the bard. "Let’s go tackle them one by one shall we?"
"Xena what aren’t you telling me?" The blonde inquired even as she took the proffered hand.
"Would you believe Salmoneus and his son have a little enterprise going here in town?"
"Oh Xena!" The bard turned around, walking backward out of the inn so she could face her warrior. "Salmoneus must be eighty."
"Early to mid seventies actually. You’ll never believe it," Xena reached out and turned Gabrielle around, firmly wrapping her arm around her waist as they walked toward the stables. "No, I take that back. I’m sure you’ll believe it; it’s a very Salmoneus enterprise. But first, let’s go out and check into these horsenappings."
* * *
From across the square a large man took notice of the two women headed for the stables. He drew a deep breath and headed to the inn. "Eve!" He called as he wandered inside.
The young woman exited from the kitchen wiping her hands on a rough towel. She rolled her eyes slightly. "Yes, Darus? What can I do for you today?"
"Those women who just left here. Who are they?"
She tilted her head just a bit. "That was my mother and her friend Gabrielle."
Darus moved to the bar and leaned in close to Eve. "What kind of friend is she to your mother?"
"I don’t see where that’s any of your business."
"Yes, it is my business. As magistrate of Amphipolis I make the laws here and you know we have certain laws…"
"Yes, I know of your laws. The laws of man. Not of God, not of nature…" Eve closed her eyes, silently asking Eli for strength. "You came here six months ago and declared yourself magistrate. Then you began creating laws…"
"Laws for the good of the town." He reminded her.
"I have to agree with you to some extent. Some of the laws you put in place have been very beneficial. But others are wrong simply on principle."
"Eve." The older man took her hand. "You know how I feel about you. You’ve been very supportive of me and the work I’ve done here and I’m very fond of you. You know what’s right and what’s wrong and if your mother and her ‘friend’ are living that kind of life then…"
She pulled her hand away and rubbed between her brows, closing her eyes. "Darus, my mother, is not someone who takes well to being told what she can and can’t do. Trust me when I say it will just be better if you don’t challenge her on this."
"Is she breaking our laws?"
Eve sighed. "Not her own and certainly not mine. I love Gabrielle too. They’ve always stood with me, even when they were against me."
"It’s good that a daughter has such love and devotion to her mother. You’re a good daughter Eve. It’s your job to make your mother see the err of her ways."
She just nodded and smiled at him. "Don’t you mean the err of your ways, Darus?" Don’t say anything to him. Just keep quiet... I’ll get them married if it’s the last thing I do.
Virgil entered from the back with a cask of wine on his shoulder. He tried not to look annoyed at the older man leaning on the bar, but he wasn’t very successful. The poet knew his feelings for Eve bounced all over the place. One minute he was very fond of her then the next minute he simply wanted to kill her, but no matter how he was feeling about her, he truly hated it when Darus showed any interest in her. He didn’t like the older man, there was just something about him he didn’t trust.
He moved behind the bar and sat the cask down next to Eve. "There you go. What’s next on the list boss?"
Eve looked to Virgil with a bit of shock on her face. When did I become boss? Normally it’s not that nice.
TBC