Archive of Our Own

The letter arrived early in the day. Jace can’t quite remember much after it. He recalls Lord Stark’s weary eyes as he approached the prince slowly, like he would a wild animal, unsure of its reaction. Jace felt in that moment the gravity of the situation, felt in his heart that something terrible had happened. 

“Lucerys Velaryon is dead.” The words still rang in Jace’s ears. He couldn’t believe it. He knew it to be true, he saw the letter, but most importantly, he felt the pang in his soul, confirming the loss on a level his mind couldn’t process. He just didn’t want to believe it. His little brother. Dead. Gone forever. And it was his fault.

Jace somehow ended up back in his chambers. He doesn’t remember how. Lord Stark must have sent him back a while ago, but Jacearys can’t be sure when. Everything is moving too fast and too slowly at the same time. The weight of this loss is dragging him down a dark path that he knows he can’t follow. He needs to be strong for his mother, for Joffrey, for little Aegon, and for Viserys. He still has them. But they lost Luke. Luke, who was kind, and gentle, and afraid that he wasn’t going to be a good ruler. Now he needn’t worry about that, because he would never get to be Lord of the Tides. He would never get to be anything anymore but a memory. And it was all Jacaerys’ fault.

Only if he didn’t bring that damned knife that night. Only if they didn’t attack Aemond. Luke was only protecting him. But he was the oldest, he should’ve done the protecting, and he hated that he couldn’t. Not then, not now. Luke took Aemond’s eye, and now Aemond took Luke’s life as payment for the debt he owed. It wasn’t fair. Jace should’ve been the one to pay for it. If only he went to Storm’s End, maybe Luke would still be alive, and he would drink and hunt in the North right now in the place of his unworthy brother.

The pain was suffocating him, but Jacaerys couldn't forget himself. He still had a purpose in this war. He had to secure his mother’s support. Mourning could come later, when he would be reunited with his family, and they would inevitably have to burn Luke's clothes, as tradition asked.

We couldn't even find his body. A voice in his head tormented him, but he tried to push it back into the darkest corner of his mind. His duty to the crown had to be a priority if he wanted to prove himself and help his mother win this war. They had to, in Luke's memory.

With his heart still clenching in his chest, Jacaerys left his chamber and went looking for Lord Stark. He found the Warden of the North in the courtyard alone. This brought Jace memories of his days at court, but now those memories do nothing but bring more pain, so he shoved those back into the darkness.

“My prince,” Lord Stark began as he sensed Jace approaching. “I didn’t expect to see you wandering tonight.” His voice was light, but Jace felt the embarrassment creeping in as he couldn’t recall what kind of reaction he had in front of the Northman. He supposed it was due to the shock, but the impression he made on the Lord was too important for the war.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier. Our discussion was cut short.” Jace’s own voice was strained from not talking for hours.

Lord Stark only frowned. “I do not believe any apology is needed here. You received terrible news, and I feel your pain, my prince. I understand your need to mourn; it is only human.”

“I can mourn back home on Dragonstone. I am here now for a reason, and I cannot leave until I secure support for my mother. It is the least I can do for her in these hard times.” He kept his posture rigid and held his head high, as a true heir to the throne, just like his uncle Daemon taught him.

“I am true to my word, I am no oath breaker. I will carry out my duty to your mother, but I cannot forget about my people.”

“I would not dare suggest anything else. But your men need you to lead them, my lord. A good army is nothing without a strong leader. In order to win a war, we need more than just arms. It is the honor of the men that leads the wars that decides the fate of it."

Lord Stark raised his brows at Jacaerys. “You speak of war like you knew it your whole life. You are more wise than your years let on, my prince.”

This compliment both saddened and filled him with pride. “This war has threatened to rip my family apart for years. The greens never fully accepted my mother’s claim to the throne, nor my position as her heir.”

“And why is that?”

“They believed that a woman shouldn’t rule the Seven Kingdoms. Everyone thought that as soon as Aegon was born, the King would proclaim him as his rightful heir, his firstborn son, as tradition says. And even the ones who accepted my mother as heir, had doubts about me. We had to fight inside our own home for years, against our own kin.”

The Lord hummed “But the King never changed his mind. He kept upholding your mother’s claim. But let me ask this, my prince. What about you hadn't pleased the people? You look like a fit heir to me.”

Jacaerys swallowed. He didn’t want to tell a possible ally that he was a bastard, but something about Cregan Stark’s understanding untied his tongue.

“There were always vicious whispers in the corridors of the castle. About me, and my brothers.” He had to keep himself from flinching at the thought of Lucerys, so held his hands behind his back to hide the way they were shaking. “The legitimacy of our birth was loudly put to question as a way of denigrating my mother. The Queen Alicent herself spoke poison to her children, as a way of dividing the two families further.”

Jace looked at the other man, expecting an insult or a snarl at the possibility of the prince being a bastard, but he was only met with a quiet laugh. Almost a sad one. “It is incredibly disappointing when children are brought into parents’ wars.”

Jace found himself continuing. “This caused a rift between my brother, me, and our uncles. And as it seems, some wounds never heal.” The last part was only a whisper, but the Lord heard it anyway.

“But those rumors didn’t hold you back from proving you are a true heir to the throne.”

“I don’t think I proved anything.” His words spoke only truth, and the night and the young Stark were his only witnesses. Those were words he didn’t dare speak to his mother or his uncle. He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them. But he thought them. Far too often, and this was weighing him down.

“You are here, even after your brother’s death. It looks to me that you truly care about this kingdom. A true leader takes action even when suffering the cruelest of torments. I know pain and loss too, my prince, and I know how difficult it is to separate your mourning from your ruling. I believe you are a rightful heir, regardless of who your father is.”

“I never said-“

“You needn’t have to. Do not worry, Jacaerys. This changes nothing in the way I perceive you. My sister, Sara, is a bastard, as well. That doesn’t change the blood that we and nor is she any less my sister. From what concerns me, you being your mother’s son is enough.”

His words warmed Jace’s chest greatly, but nothing compared to the way he said his name.

“You know, that is what my mother told me when I asked about my father. That I am a Targaryen, and that is enough.”

Lord Stark hummed again.

“Can I be honest with you, my lord?”

The northman’s lips caught into a small smile as he said “Such a moment of honesty I think requires you to use my name. It is only us here tonight, after all.”

Jace’s cheeks reddened, and he was glad for the night to hide it. 

“Very well, then. Cregan.” His name on his lips tasted sweet. It was a weird feeling that Jace could get drunk on, but he continued his train of thoughts before losing his nerve. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t. A Targaryen, I mean. Sometimes I wish I could have been my father’s son, and enjoy the years I had with him, without worrying about rumors and whispers. I wish I could have mourned him when he died. He was the most honorable man I knew.”

“Then I am sure he would be proud of the man you have become.” He could feel the truth in Cregan’s words, but he couldn’t force himself to believe it. To accept it so easily. He felt like he had to fight to earn everything for his whole life, even the smallest of commitments.

“I don’t think that it suffices. My efforts. How could I save a kingdom when I couldn’t even save my own brother?” All his pain was laced in those words, as he had to push back his tears. Cregan got closer then, worry subtlety showing in his eyes.

“I don’t think there was anything you could have done, my prince.” 

“Can you use my name again?” Jace knew it sounded an awful lot like a plea, he didn’t have it in himself to hold himself together at that moment, but the other man just nodded.

“Jacaerys. You cannot live with blame for something you couldn’t have prevented.”

“You don’t know the half of it. It is my fault. Aemond harbored this hatred for Luke for years for something that I had started. He called us bastards. Luke didn’t even know back then, about our father. And Aemond mocked his death, so I pulled the knife. But I couldn’t do anything. So my brother protected us, and took Aemond’s eye. And look where we are now. A life for an eye. It is not fair.”

Cregan put his hand on Jace’s shoulder, and somehow that small gesture grounded him and made him look into the man’s eyes. All he saw there was understanding. “It is not fair. That is war. But believe me when I say, Aemond will pay for the life he took. The scales will turn. But you cannot live with that guilt.”

“I do not know how to live without it.” Jace admitted.

“Honor your brother’s memory by helping your Queen win this war. You have my men at your side. As well as me.”

Jace’s eyes snapped up. “My lor- Cregan.”

Cregan’s lips almost turned into another smile when he heard his name. “You have earned my respect. You have been nothing but honest to me, even considering we were mere strangers a short while ago. You are going to make a fine king, Jacaerys. You will be loved by your people."

“Call me Jace.” Now the northman did smile, but he retrieved his hand from Jace’s shoulder, and without wishing to, he missed the contact immediately. “Jace.” His name was nothing more than a whisper in the night, and Jacaerys felt like they were sharing a secret meant for no one else but each other. They looked into each other’s eyes, and for a moment, none said a word.

Cregan broke the silence first. “You remind me a lot of my brother. He died young of age.”

Jace’s face fell for a second in realization. “Forgive me, my lord. I had not known.”

“Do not fret. It is a good thing. He had a good heart. Just like you. All this pain you are feeling, Jacaerys, it is the human part of you that will make you a good king who cares about his people. When I lost my brother, I knew he would have wanted me to honor the name Stark for him.” Cregan’s words were solemn, and something in Jace’s heart melted.

“You are an honorable man, Cregan Stark. It is my greatest pleasure to have met not only the Warden of the North, but you.” Something about seeing this side of the man did something to Jace’s heart.

For a moment he pondered if it would be inappropriate to reach for him, but, suddenly, Cregan took a step back and looked like he just now realized who they were and where they were. The spell had broken, Jace felt it. Oh, how he wished they could be just Jace and Cregan for a little longer. He hadn’t felt this understood and seen in a long while. In a world where his every move was questioned, Cregan took one look at him and deemed him worthy of his attention. That made Jace feel warm all over. But in reality, they were Lord Stark and Prince Jacaerys, and this moment couldn’t go beyond anything more. Jace hadn’t even realized he wanted anything more, he just wished to feel the Lord’s strong hand on his shoulder again.

“Now that you secured your mother’s allies, I assume you are needed back on Dragonstone. When the time comes, I will lead my man into battle carrying your mother’s banner. You got what you came for, so there is nothing more for you here. Your mother needs you back.” He looked so much like a lord, like a leader, that Jace almost shrank back, feeling like a little kid. But no, he was a prince, and he had to act like the future king Cregan said he saw in him.

“I think I got more than what I came here for.” He said in a moment of boldness.

“And what that might be?” Lord Stark raised his brows.

“Advice. An unlikely friendship." He stopped for a moment and smiled. "Goodnight, my lord.” 

With that, Jace turned and walked back to his chambers. Cregan didn’t call after him. After their discussion, Jacaerys’ heart felt a little lighter. The pain of his brother's passing would always remain, but the Lord’s gentle words eased his guilt. Jacaerys didn’t find sleep that night, didn’t dare close his eyes, in fear of seeing the One Eyed Snake slay his brother in his dreams. Instead, he thought. He thought of his mother, and how heartbroken she must be. He thought of his little brothers, who would barely remember Lucerys as a memory from their earlier years. He thought of Joffrey, who never even met their father -only when he was one day of life- and now he lost his brother. Then of his uncle, Daemon, who, with all his obvious flaws in judgement, always stood by their side and protected them. But he couldn’t protect Luke from Aemond. Jacaerys thought he would kill Aemond himself if he had the chance, but he knew in his heart he wasn’t ready to take a life, especially of his own kin. He wouldn’t stoop to the greens’ level. Jacaerys would be a good and just king one day, and he wouldn’t stain his hands with his own blood.

He knew hours had passed as he went further and further in his thoughts. He tried to place what exactly about the young Lord Stark made him feel lighter in the face of such loss. He couldn’t name it, but he craved it like a starving man. He needed to forget, if for a night. After tonight, the war could start, but he wanted one last dawn when he could pretend.

His feet carried Jacaerys to what he was told were Lord Stark’s chambers. They weren’t far, as the Lord wanted the Prince close during his stay. Jace knew it was highly inappropriate to show up at his door at such an hour, but he had a feeling the other man couldn’t find sleep either. He hoped their talk didn’t leave a mark just on himself. So he brought his hand up and knocked twice, silently, in case the lord was sleeping, but loud enough to be heard in case he was not.

The door opened not long after, and Jace was welcomed by Cregan, who was very much awake, and without a shirt. For a moment, he wondered how northerners could not feel the cold, but he shook that thought.

“My prince?” The question in his tone was obvious, and his brows knotted, but he didn’t turn Jace away, so he took it as a sign of good fate.

“Pardon me, my lord, but sleep couldn’t find me tonight, and I had hoped I could enjoy your company for a little longer before I had to depart in the morning.” Jacaerys’ words were polite, and his stance was that of a prince, but he knew his eyes were glinting with something he couldn’t place when he was looking at the half naked northerner in front of him. To his relief, Cregan matched that glint and added in a just as solemn voice “Of course, my prince, I would enjoy nothing more.” Then he moved aside and let Jace enter the room. Their shoulders brushed, and he could feel the electricity between them. That was exactly why he came here. He wanted to feel alive.

Jace stopped in the middle of the room as Cregan closed his door and turned to face the prince. There was something heated in his eyes as he looked Jace up and down, and Jacaerys couldn't help but bite his lower lip, which did nothing but make the northerner take a deep breath.

“Before I do anything that would be considered treason, I need to know what you are looking for here, my prince.” Cregan was a composed man, but right now his posture was slipping, eyes full of desire. Good, that’s how Jace wanted him. He knew he was a fairly good looking lad, even Baela assured him of that. And considering they established the lack of romance in their betrothal, he would say she was fairly objective. Jace knew immediately that he took a liking to the young Lord Stark as soon as he got to the north. In the short time he spent here before his mother’s raven arrived, he enjoyed his company and could be sure Cregan enjoyed his as well. But regardless of his preferences, he had a duty to his Queen, and nothing would come in between that. But after the news of Lucerys’ death, everything changed. The air between them changed, and Jace would be dammed if he wasn’t done denying himself things he wanted before going straight into a war where he could lose his life any moment.

He gathered all his confidence that was drilled into him as a prince and walked straight to Cregan, not breaking eye contact once and only stopping one breath away from the other man. “I thought I told you to call me Jace.” They were sharing the same air as those words were spoken. It seemed that all Cregan needed to lose the last ounce of control he had was to feel Jace’s breath on his lips. He surged forward, hands finding Jace’s hair and lips sealing his.

It was exhilarating. It was all consuming. And Jace didn’t want to stop. So he kept kissing Cregan and let himself remember only the taste of his lips, his cold lips. He could be Prince Jacaerys tomorrow, but right now, he needed to just have one thing as Jace.

Cregan stopped kissing him suddenly, and Jace was afraid he would tell him all the ways this was wrong and kick him out, but he just looked at Jace for a moment, such adoration in his eyes that Jace couldn’t believe how he just met this man a few days ago and felt like he knew him for years. 

“You really aren’t what I expected, Jace.” 

“And what did you expect?” Jace smirked at Cregan in a playful way, that he only ever allowed himself to be with his family.

“An arrogant dragon rider prince that would demand I follow him to my death.” His honesty was so refreshing that Jace laughed.

“And did I disappoint?”

“I am afraid that even without demanding it, I would follow you anywhere, Jacaerys.” The bare truth in his voice made Jace drop his smirk. How could such a bond be forged in such a short while. How he wished they had more time. He leaned in and kissed Cregan slowly, slower than the first time. He let himself be pushed towards the bed. 

That night, Cregan gave him slow kisses all over his body, like he was something worth worshiping. They didn’t go anywhere further than that, it wasn’t the right thing to do in one night. And truth be told, Jacaerys had never been with another man. Or another woman. He and Baela never tried to. He slightly remembered Aegon’s taunts and how much they angered him. It wasn’t jealousy, but anger at the blatant disrespect shown to him and his cousin. In that particular moment, in Cregan’s bed and in his arms, he couldn’t make himself care about Aegon’s empty words. They were far away. Everything began and ended with the two of them in the North.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but after their lips started to swell, their kissing stopped, and they just lay together, looking at each other. Cregan was the one to break the silence. 

“I will be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you, Jace.”

Jace raised an eyebrow “I thought I was an arrogant demanding dragon rider?”

Cregan let out a low laugh. “After I realized you weren’t, I expected nothing but courtesy and gentleness. I thought the north would be too rough for you.”

“You mean you thought you would be too rough for me.” Jace corrected with a smile.

“Yes. Here in the North, we are more open about our pleasure than I assume you were used to at your court in the South. You were raised as a prince, you represent tradition and righteousness. Bedding a men didn’t seem like something a prince would do.”

“It isn’t necessarily a habit of mine, I would dare admit.” This made Cregan smile, which Jace was glad for.

“You are full of surprises, then. You are full of fire, like a true dragon. I thought I could resist you, but now I wonder how am I supposed to let you go.” 

“We will meet again, after we win this war.”

“You are confident in your success, I see.”

“I have to. My mother cannot lose more than she already did. I would do anything for her.”

“She is lucky to have you as her heir. You will take her legacy further.” His words filled Jace with pride once again.

“I hope to meet again after the war. I wish we could have met under different circumstances.” He whispered, unsure of the reaction his words would cause. He was surprised to see they seemed to sadden the northerner slightly.

“This is the fate of rulers. Just do not forget me when you rule the Seven Kingdoms.”

“I would never. I will never. These days will stay with me until I leave this earth. Let this bond prevail beyond this moment.”

“You speak great words, my sweet prince.”

“I mean them.” His words were confident, and he knew them to be true.

“How do you see yourself after this war ends?”

Jacaerys thought for a moment. “I will stay by my mother’s side as she rules, prepare to take her place one day, hopefully very far in the future. I will marry my betrothed, Lady Baela Targaryen. We will be expected to produce royal heirs. Do not get me wrong, I care deeply for my cousin, Baela, but I don’t think that I will much enjoy the process of it.”

“I propose you this, my prince. If you and your Lady Baela are blessed with a girl, wed her to my son, Rickon, thus strengthening the bond between our houses, between the South and the North. And allow me an excuse to see you often.” Jace smiled at that thought.

“Very well, my lord. Our children shall be betrothed, and the blood of the wolf and the blood of the dragon shall be united. A Pact of Ice and Fire.”

“A Pact of Ice and Fire.” Cregan repeated and took Jace’s hand in his.

They sealed their oath in blood, that one faithful night.

They stood like this for a while until the morning light hit the windows and alerted Jace of his upcoming departure. He slowly picked himself up and took one last look at Cregan before leaving and going back to his chambers. Words weren’t enough for this departure.

Last night, Cregan put him back together, but now he had to hold himself up like a prince and hold his head up. He had to be the support his mother needed. He was a man now, the future King of Westeros. And he would act like it.

As he made his way towards Vermax, Cregan awaited him. It was customary for the Warden of the North to see his guests out. This felt like so much more.

“I will see you again, my prince, when we will fight side by side.”

“I will be in the air, with Vermax, watching over you and your men.” 

Cregan eyed Vermax cautiously. The northerners were wary of dragons, and Jace could honestly not blame them.

“Until we shall meet again, my sweet prince.” It is the second time Cregan calls him that, and Jace’s heart swells with something akin to adoration and pain. 

“I will miss you.” He whispered the words, afraid to mutter them louder. But the man in front of him understood. His eyes were solemn with the promise of remembering their oath. They would win this war.

As Jacaerys mounted his dragon, he dared one last look at Cregan Stark, who held his head high in a salute to his prince, and a promise.

On his way back to Dragonstone, the thoughts of Cregan and their night spent together were replaced by thoughts of his brother and mother again. His forgetting was done, now he had to be the man his mother needed. It was easier said than done, as he felt himself crumple under all the pain he had tried to hold at bay since the news of Lucerys’ death.

He couldn’t shake the dread as he approached Dragonstone, or as he first stepped on the ground of his home for the first time in days. Baela was the first one to welcome him. Her eyes were full of sorrow as she waited for Jace.

“Jace…” She started, but he couldn’t hear this now. He had to get to his mother first. He had to let her know that he didn’t let her down, that he strengthened their support. She needed these good news in this time of sorrow, and Jace had to keep himself together when he faced her.

“Can you take me to my mother?” 

Baela only nodded, her eyes full of understanding, as she motioned for him to follow her. The path was one he knew, but every step felt foreign. Even being home felt wrong, knowing that his brother was never coming back. Still, he held his head up as he entered his mother’s chamber, Baela by his side. However, she knew she had to retreat, as Jace needed to do this alone, and be alone with his mother. She squeezed his shoulder once in support and left without a word.

“Your Grace.” Jace approached his mother slowly. He tried his best to breathe through the excruciating pain at seeing his mother in her quiet devastation. “Lady Jayne Arryn has pledged her support in exchange for a dragon to guard the Vale.” His voice was betraying his emotions, but he forced himself to continue as his mother only nodded. “And Lord Cregan Stark…has promised 2000 men-“ He couldn’t continue, his voice cracked as he swallowed back tears. He tried to be strong for his mother, but he needed her as much as she needed him. And his mother, as always, was there for him. No word was needed as she stood and made her way to him, and Jace finally allowed himself to crumble in her arms.

They held each other and wept together in the face of the loss that took away a part of their family. Jacaerys knew they could never be whole again, but in his mother’s arms, he indulged himself and cried. He was no heir then, just a boy who needed his mother to protect him from everything that was bad in the world, from what took away his brother, his best friend. They wept, and that didn’t bring Luke back. Nothing would. But they had each other. And Jacaerys wouldn’t allow his mother to go through the pain of losing another child again.

He held onto this promise as they burned Lucerys’ clothes. It was the best they could do since his body was forever lost in the sea. The bitter irony of it was gut wrenching. Jacaerys mourned alongside his family that day. He held his brother Joffrey and promised himself he wouldn’t let anything happen to him. In Luke’s memory, he swore his three remaining brothers would live to see the end of this war and enjoy the prosperity of their mother’s rule. 

***

It didn’t take long for the fight to start. They were ruthless, and no matter how much Jacaerys tried to prepare himself for it, the bloodshed was sometimes too much. As the fighting ensued, Jacaerys got word that Cregan Stark and his men were advacing from the north, which filled the young prince with both joy and dread. The northman was a skilled fighter, he would ensure victories for his mother’s army. But the part of him that he thought he left in the north was pained at the thought of adding Cregan to the list of people he had to worry about during the war.

When they almost lost Princess Rhaenys and Meleys, Jace knew they were in danger of being outnumbered at any second. So his suggestion to recruit dragonseeds, bastards of Valyrian descent, for the remaining unbonded dragons was a welcomed and much needed win for his mother’s army. As soon as the dragons accepted their new riders, the sky filled with them, and their battles weren’t lost as easily.

His entire family was fighting tooth and nail for this, for their Queen. Baela proved herself as brave as he knew her. She suggested they marry, but Jace wanted to wait until after the war. He wanted this to be his guarantee that they will make it out alive. He held onto this and told himself he would live to see his wedding day. His family had to live.

Daemon was the most ruthless of them all, as his reputation preceded him. Jacaerys couldn’t quite look at him the same after the news of what he did to Helaena’s son, what he ordered to be done. He knew his mother wanted Aemond to pay for what he did, he himself wanted that. But killing an innocent child took it too far and Jace couldn’t help but feel terrible for Helaena’s loss.

The only time Jace saw Cregan was as he flew over the marching troops of northmen in his passing once. He couldn’t help the pang of longing as he searched for the silhouette of his northman in the crowd. As he found him, he could almost swear he saw him look up at him and Vermax, but after all, anyone who was wary of dragons looked at them in their passing, so he took it to mean nothing. He couldn’t afford that type of attachment in such an unpredictable war. But he longed.

***

As the water crashed over him, Jace tried to remember how to breathe. Water was filling his lungs, and he aimlessly tried to resurface. He could feel the arrow in his shoulder and his blood being mixed with salt water. In a few moments of clarity, he tried to remember the last moments before he submerged. He was in the Gullet, the fight was fierce. Vermax flew too low and an arrow hit him in the eye, as another found it’s home in Jace’s shoulder. He lost control and they both went underwater. He tried to fight it but the current was pulling him further and further and he couldn’t see Vermax. He couldn’t see anything. He fought and kicked the water around him as his lungs were giving out. He couldn’t stop fighting. His family needed him. His kingdom needed him. 

As his vision blackened, he felt claws around his waist and a pull. Suddenly, he was pulled up from the water and set ashore by Vermax’s strong hold. His loyal dragon, now blinded in one eye, fought its way underwater and saved Jace’s life. He was breathing heavily as he looked at his companion. Jacaerys took a look around him and realized he was far away from the Gullet. He didn’t know how long he was underwater, but the fight was long behind them. 

“Can you fly, Vermax?” He asked in High Valyrian, though it was unlikely he would get a response. The dragon only blinked his one eye and lay next to Jace on the sandy shore. Rest. They needed rest before they could set back for Dragonstone. The throbbing pain in his shoulder was screaming at him, but Jace grinded his teeth as he pulled the arrow out. He tried his best to stop the bleeding with a piece of fabric from his shirt. It wouldn’t kill him, but he needed to get it properly looked after soon. He stood up and headed for his dragon.

“Please don’t eat me for this.” He murmured as he pulled the arrow out of its eye. Vermax roared but otherwise didn’t make a move to attack Jace, so he took it as a sign of good faith. The bleeding would stop for the dragon faster than it would for him. 

Jace hoped he could get home fast before his family heard the news of his disappearance. 

***

It took Prince Jacaerys days before he returned to Dragonstone. He found shelter and medicine in a small village in the east of the continent, where he could hide his dragon in the woods. The people were kind, and he strengthened himself before preparing for the road home.

What he didn’t know what that word of his disappearance went quickly after the Battle of The Gullet and he was presumed dead almost immediately upon the discovery of his and his dragon’s wounds. Sailors tried to search for them, but to no avail. News of his death reached even the troops of his mothers’ army. The men were saddened with the new loss of the Prince of Dragonstone, but none more than Lord Cregan Stark.

The words “Prince Jacaerys Velaryon has gone missing and is presumed dead” rang in the Lord’s ears, like a blade in his chest. The young prince, the gentle boy turned man too early, who occupied Cregan’s thoughts far too many times for his liking, was gone. The words cut him deep. But he couldn’t mourn. He had a promise to fulfill in his name. He had to win the war for Jacaerys’ memory. The North remembers Prince Jacaerys Velaryon.

***

When Jace arrived on Dragonstone, he was lucky enough to find his mother there. The knights were stunned by his appearance, but he couldn’t wait and talk to no one on his way towards his mother. He rushed to her chambers, and as soon as he walked in, she paled. She just stood there for a moment, stunned, then she rushed and embraced him with a force that almost knocked him off his feet. “My boy, my sweet boy.”

For the second time since the war started, they wept together. The first time in pain over the loss of a son and brother, and this time in relief over the reunion of a son and his mother. “I knew you couldn’t be dead. I knew it in my heart.” She whispered in his hair.

“I am sorry, mother, for letting you wait and worrying you.”

She pulled back and took his head in her hands. She wiped away his tears in a way only a mother could “Shh, my love. All that matters is that you returned home.” She then kissed his forehead, and for the first time in a long time, Jace felt like maybe everything could be alright, if they were together, a family united against their enemies.

For days, his mother and the maesters fussed over him until his shoulder was back in place. He reunited with Baela, Rhaena, and his brothers, who all wept silent tears at seeing him alive. At his uncle Daemon’s request, they didn’t announce his return. He said it would be in their advantage if the greens thought that Jacaerys was dead. This way, they could have the element of surprise in battle when he would eventually return on Vermax’s back. Thank the Gods, Vermax was in shape of flying, even without an eye. Again, the irony of it made Jace nauseous. It seemed as the greens finally got the eye they wanted.

He wasn’t allowed back in battle for a long while. The fight went by on many fronts. When news of Cregan Stark and his army advancing towards King’s Landing reached Dragonstone, Jacaerys insisted he be let back into battle. The taking of the city was an important part of this war, and Jace couldn’t help but feel it was one of the last. With his mother’s agreement, the prince mounted his dragon after long rest and made his way towards the capital. 

From far away, he could see the hundreds of men marching towards the city. What he didn’t know was that his approach was noticed with interest from below as well.

Ser Erryk accompanied Lord Stark and Lady Alysanne Blackwood in the battle to occupy the Red Keep. Their arrival in the city was met with force, and they had to fight their way through the city watch knights who were loyal to Aegon.

In the middle of their effort, the dragon quickly got closer and closer, which was hard to ignore. Lady Aly frowned as she looked in the distance “Which one is that? Daemon? The Queen?”

Ser Erryk’s eyes widened in recognition as the dragon got closer. “It’s Vermax. Prince Jacaerys is alive and has come to claim the castle for his mother!” The knight yelled, and the soldiers around him, both from the North and the Riverlands roared as Vermax flew over them.

Cregan Stark thought his eyes and ears were fooling him for a moment. But then he blinked and saw, clear as day, a one eyed dragon and a young prince clearing the path for them. He could hear over all the noise how Jacaerys was comanding his dragon “Dracarys!” in such a way that sent shivers through Cregan’s spine. A true heir. He would ponder over the questions later, today he had to fight alongside his prince.

They advanced quicker with the aid of the prince and in no time they entered the Red Keep. With Aemond and Vhagar dead, the defense was lacking. The guards were no match for an army of thousands. But the win still felt too easy. Something was wrong.

So did Jacaerys think as he dismounted his dragon. The sight of Cregan was filling his heart with something unspeakable, but the time wasn’t for this. It was too quiet. 

“Ser Erryk. Lord Stark. I fear something is terribly wrong.”

They entered slowly and made their way towards the throne room, where they found a distraught Alicent Hightower standing between her father and Larys Strong.

“It is over, Alicent. We have taken over King’s Landing in the name of my mother.” 

Alicent looked defeated, like she already knew it was the end. “It is over, indeed, Jacaerys.”

“Where is Aegon?”

“He is dead.” Ser Erryk said from behind him. "I went straight to his chambers. They left him poisoned in his bed."

“Who did this?” Jace asked, feeling a bit of fury for this. Aegon may have been an usurper, but he knew his mother’s wish of not spilling her siblings’ blood. And being poisoned in his own bed..

“It is a disgrace to poison an enemy in his sleep. The usurper should have died in battle. This is the highest of treasons, even for a false king.” Cregan agreed with him, as the ways of the North dictated.

Alicent’s eyes betrayed her as they landed towards Lord Larys. Jace’s eyes followed her, but he couldn’t believe how a man who looked so helpless could be capable of such a thing.

“Why?” Was all he could ask.

“I did everything for you, my Queen.” His words were directed at Alicent. “When you needed secrets, I provided. When you needed your father back at court, I got rid of the old Hand. But now we had to acknowledge defeat. I did this for you. Aegon would have never surrendered. But with him dead, you could ask for forgiveness. I tried to save you. My loyalty never faltered.”

“No.” Alicent was shaking her head. But all Jace could focus on was Larys’s words about the old Hand. Lord Strong, his father. Ser Harwin’s father. 

“It was you.” Jace’s voice was ice as the realization washed upon him. “You killed Lord Lyonel and Ser Harwin.”

“I had to.” Larys’ voice was so casual that it filled Jace with more rage.

“Your father! Your brother! You- You traitor!” He yelled at the man who took away his father. “The fire was never an accident. It was no curse at Harrenhal. You planted it. You were the curse.”

“It was a hard decision.” His tone didn't give any hard feelings about his so called hard decisions and Jace wanted to feed him to his dragon.

“Oh, I am sorry that killing your family was a hard decision for you. And now you poisoned Aegon-“ Jace was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. “My prince. Justice will be served. You mother will arrive and decide punishment for all traitors.” Cregan’s words grounded him, and he regained his temper. “You cannot let your emotions rule you.”

Jace felt defeated even in the face of this win. The greens were escorted to the cells. Helaena and Jaehaera were locked in their chambers. He would have to argue for their freedom later. They were innocent, after all. But now he could do nothing . It didn’t feel like a win. Cregan was eyeing him cautiously, like he did that day he read him the letter. Like he might snap any second.

His mother arrived quickly and embraced her son as soon as she saw him alive and safe. For her, this was a great victory. The usurpers finally lost. There would be more lords that were against her to defeat throughout the Seven Kingdoms, but the capital was hers. The throne was hers after so many moons. Jacaerys wanted to feel happy for his mother, but the weight of what he had just learned dragged him down. 

He excused himself as his mother and newly arrived council started plotting what would be done with the traitors. He found himself in the courtyard, maybe because it was empty, maybe because it brought back memories of his brother, and his father, and he missed them so much right now that it hurt. Night was falling around him as he felt the presence of another person joining him. Jacaerys hadn’t moved for hours, he realized.

“I would have come earlier to look for you, but I was needed in council.” Cregan’s voice was tentative, like he didn’t know how to talk to Jace anymore, and it pained him greatly.

“You needn’t worry, my lord. It is your duty.” His own voice was breaking at the lack of using it. He had a strange sense of deja vu.

“Jace.” That one word alone, spoken with such gentleness, tore down his defenses. He was left defenseless when facing his lord.

“I apologize for you having to see me in such state in the throne room. You were right, I let my emotions control me.” He looked down, suddenly ashamed of himself, but Cregan took his chin in his hand and raised his head to look at him.

“Do not apologize, not to me. Never to me.”

Jace indulged himself for a few seconds to look into the eyes of the other man, then he ripped his gaze back ahead as Cregan’s hand fell.

“You know, I used to spend a great time here, training. My brother and I were never too skilled with a sword. Part is to thank See Criston for the lack of effort he put into our particular training. He always ignored us in favor of our uncles. Ser Harwin saw this injustice once and spoke on it. But it did nothing but raise taunts in Ser Criston and allude to his attachment towards us, further implying that we were his bastards. Ser Harwin punched him that day. It was deserved, of course, but it earned him being sent to Harrenhal to avoid scandals. The same night he arrived, he died in a fire. This courtyard is so familiar yet so distant at the same time. It makes me feel 10 years old again, but then I realize I am the last one alive out of everyone. I have to live with their loss. Even Aegon’s, who died without honor, and whom I resent for taking my mother’s birthright, but I cannot forget we were once all children who shared the same blood.”

Cregan didn’t interrupt him once while he talked. He just listened, and Jace was glad for it. He needed to let it all out.

“The traitors have been sentenced to death. Larys Storng and the plotters for Aegon’s death, as well as Otto Hightower. I am to serve the punishment myself.”

Jace’s eyes snapped to him “Why would you do that?”

“Because I made a promise. I thought you were dead, Jacaerys.” Those words sank into Jace’s heart and made him ache. “I mourned you, but I still fought, just like I told you I would. I have to keep my word to its end and finish what I started. I promised myself I would end this in your name.”

“But I am alive.” Jace exhaled softly.

“I can see that now.” Cregan raised his hand up to Jace’s cheek, close but not close enough to touch. “But yesterday I did not know that. And I was ready to march in here and do anything to finish everything. If the Gods were merciful and I were to meet my end, at least maybe they would have let me meet you again. Do not think I forgot you, Jacaerys.”

“You can touch me, you know.” He preferred to say, as the rest of the man’s words left him speechless.

“I do not think I can. Not anymore. I indulged myself in the North, but here, you are Prince Jacaerys of Dragonstone and Righful Heir to the Iron Throne. Our stolen touches have no place here.” As much as Jacaerys hated it, Cregan was right. They could never be, regardless of how deeply and truthfully they cared for each other. They couldn’t allow themselves to go deeper into this attachment. Their duties didn’t allow it.

“After the executions are done, I will return to my home in the North. I will leave a part of my men here as your mother’s army, to defeat any enemy that still refuses to bend the knee to the true Queen. But I am needed in the North, my stay here cannot be longer.”

“I understand.” And Jace really did understand. Duty was one thing he knew of, even if, in this moment, he loathed it.

***

Cregan was true to his word and prepared for his departure after he delivered the punishments he promised. Jacaerys forced himself to watch, telling himself he saw enough horrors already and that this was well deserved for the traitorous murderers. 

The prince himself and the Queen saw the Warden of the North at the exit of the Red Keep.

“Know, Lord Stark, that you are always welcomed here. Your help will never be forgotten, and our houses will only strengthen from this alliance.” His mother declared.

“Thank you, my Queen. The North welcomes any Targaryen. Though I would recommend visiting during the winter.” His mother laughed, but Jace couldn’t find it in himself to. “I will leave you two to say your goodbyes alone.” 

As the two men found themselves standing face to face Jacaerys couldn’t help the aching in his chest. “I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

“It is not. We will meet again, Jacaerys Velaryon. The North remembers our Pact of Ice and Fire. And I remember you.” With one last nod, Cregan Stark turned his back on his prince and started his journey back home. Even when the cold of the North hit him again, the name on his lips was still warm with the promise of seeing the sweet young prince again.

To be continued…