Chapter Text
As Audrey Hall said her final goodnight on the eve of her wedding, she twisted the doorknob and moved into the cold darkness of her bedroom. With a light hand pressed against the closed door she stood still, feeling the light trembles growing within her pulsing body. Ever so delicate, she swiftly turned to her familiar surroundings. Her crystal blue eyes scanned the bedroom she’d known for the last 10 years, she spotted her belongings neatly stacked in the corner of the room and with a deep sigh, she collected the last few knitted sweaters from the laundry pile and smoothed a hand over them. She really wanted to laugh at the ridiculous sight! She wasn’t travelling four hours to London with her entire life packed beside her, she was travelling to the room next door.
Siegfried’s bedroom.
The distance between Siegfried Farnon’s bedroom and her own was only a few feet away, she knew what the striking interior looked like, she could picture it so clearly. Over the past 10 years, she entered Siegfried’s room to attend to her housekeeper duties, but her mind also collected the various scents and textures which continued to make her insides twirl and tightened. Following her footsteps through the darkened room, she adjusted her lamp and sat promptly upon her bed. While taking in the quietness of her surroundings, a hand curled towards her chin. Could this be a dream? She wondered, thinking back to the first handshake, the first time they used their Christian names, the first hug, the first kiss. The list of “firsts” piled upon one another until Audrey felt a delicate shudder beneath her skin. Her lips curled to a light smile as she pictured Siegfried’s long fingers reaching to twist the light auburn curl and place it behind her ear. Before she could allow her mind to wander down the breathtaking path, a small knock appeared at the door.
“Yes?” Audrey answered, promptly rising from the mattress to greet the visitor. The door creaked opened to Helen with her wide, beaming smile and a tray of tea at the ready.
“Helen! I thought you and James were turning in?” Audrey asked, stunned by the wonderful gesture the young girl provided.
“We were, but me gut told me that you might want something. You know, to settle the nerves and all.” she whispered the last few words, taking in the growing crimson shade upon Audrey’s cheeks.
“Well, I won’t say no, love!” They sat upon the mattress, Audrey poured the tea and offered Helen some shortbread. Once the two ladies settled, Audrey rested against the soft pillows with the hot cup simmering in her hands. She sipped the liquid before her eyes caught the light cream dress hanging upon her wardrobe.
“You alright?” Helen asked as she noticed Audrey’s distant stare.
“I’m alright.” Audrey whispered, she sipped her tea trying to avoid the crepe and brocade dress in the background.
“Audrey, it’s okay. Very normal to be nervous the night before your wedding! As you know, I mean.” the young girl tilted her head in reassurance. It took some time for Audrey’s small smile to appeared and her heart beamed. In a day’s time, she will be within Siegfried’s embrace while they danced in front of their guests. The images in her mind were so vivid and clear, she could feel the tingle of Siegfried’s beard. The rough texture of his beard not only tickled the surface of her skin, but the pulsing beats of her heart.
“Audrey?” Helen repeated as she nudged Audrey’s body back to the present.
“I had no time last time.” Audrey murmured under her breath.
“Hm?” Helen narrowed her stare, until she caught Audrey’s glassy blue eyes.
“Me first time I mean. Robert and me. We rushed to the registry office to get married, and I don’t regret it, but-”
“This time’s different. Siegfried is different.” Helen ended the final sentence, noting how Audrey fully relaxed at the confession she was dying to release.
“Yes. I’ve never felt like this before. I sound silly, but it the truth, Helen. Love comes into your life in different ways, and sometimes, in unexpected ways. From both heartbreaks Siegfried and I shared, we’ve mended each other and are stronger because of each other.” She paused briefly, feeling her hands shake from holding the hot tea. She sipped gently until a light smirk appeared.
“But one thing hasn’t changed.” Audrey lifted her head and sniffled lightly.
“What’s that?” Helen asked.
“He still drives me crazy!” Audrey finally released a chuckle which matched Helen’s light laugh.
“Oh, I bet!” Helen replied with a delicate bite to her lip. When it came to Siegfried Farnon, Helen knew full well that Audrey had two definitions of the word crazy. After the ladies shared their tea and giggled endlessly about life, Helen left Audrey to get some sleep.
“I’ll see you in the morning, and this time, I can return the favour.” Helen smiled, noting how Audrey helped her prepare for the “almost” wedding and the wedding to James. Audrey smiled, delivering a light nod to the young girl as she departed the room. Audrey peered at the clock, the small hand ticking slowly to the number 10. Yawning lightly, she began to prepare for bed until her eyebrows creased at the second knock to her door. Audrey smiled as she opened the door, but was greeted by the dimly lit lamp shade opposite her door. She twisted again until her shoe pressed against a white envelope upon the floor. As she lowered herself to collect the envelope, her eyes wandered down the hall again, but she was met with silence.
Audrey then closed her bedroom door, her eyes still glued to the curious envelope within her hands. She peeled the opening and unfolded the note to find her fiancé's slanted scribbles.
Audrey,
My love, I can not see you tonight. The superstitions and etiquettes of marriage sometimes bewilder me, but being apart from you, even for one single night, makes me want to hold you until the end of time.
You mended a broken man Audrey, and I hope tomorrow will begin the long awaited opening of a new chapter. A new chapter which I can not wait to open with you!
And with your hand intertwined with mine when we become man and wife; I never want to let you go, my beautiful Audrey.
I love you.
Your Siegfried.
Heart thudding against her chest, her eyes landed once more on Siegfried’s scribbled love note. Oh Siegfried. She sniffled once more and wiped the few tears dripping from her eyelashes. As she nestled herself between the sheets, she found herself struggling to find a peaceful slumber. Audrey twisted and turned, as her mind continued to picture her fiance. Her restless state slowly calmed as her hands clasped across her ribs, she felt the scaled breath continuing to quieten her restless state. She didn’t understand her nerves and why they suddenly escalated the moment she returned to bed. Audrey then drew her fingers to the folded letter upon her side table and pressed it against her beating heart. Flashes of memories spiralled around her mind. She pictured their first kiss within the Skeldale kitchen, how her hands rested against the counter until they broke free and delicately traced along Siegfried’s firm chest. The specks of skin she spotted cinched her lower muscles as his lips tugged and pulled against her own. Opening her eyes to the present, Audrey then rustled against the sheets and cradled against her side with the letter pressed against her heart.
Siegfried
The name which continued to melt her mind into devotion. Over the years, she smiled, chuckled and rolled her eyes at the unusual name, but she always felt at peace hearing his name. What made her heart thump hard was the thought of associating his surname with her own life. As she finally broke away from Robert’s clutches, Audrey focused on securing a job within service to support herself and her son. From finding the advertisement in the paper about the Housekeeper position, Audrey felt a slight hesitation at wanting to apply. The state of her life crumbled around her. She wondered how she could pick up the broken pieces of her life, but without a second thought to why she left her previous position, Siegfried Farnon took her in. As time passed, the threads of her life slowly and steadily joined with Siegfried’s, until a love blossomed between them.
I love you Audrey.
The words repeated in her mind. Audrey now understood how love deepens with a person, how it allows someone to move the pieces of the puzzle and continue travelling along the road of life. Closing the chapter of her first marriage was completely final when Siegfried held her old ring between his fingers. The vigorous pull of her past was finally pushed aside as Siegfried released a compassionate and loving ‘Merry Christmas’ to her. Her Yorkshire lilt echoed in the small kitchen, she could feel the thread between them tightening as he smiled in return. Audrey’s own personal freedom then gave her the chance to return to the civil defence and open herself up to Siegfried. Her mystical blue eyes collided with the light hazel, then she felt his body move steadily towards her as his light hand cupped her soft cheek. A shuddered breath finally released between them, the threads locked and pulled as they finally accepted their feeling for each other.
“I love you, you ridiculous creature”she spoke through her lustful breaths.
“Ah! So you weren’t referring to the dog?” he replied, rubbing his nose against her own.
Ridiculous and hopelessly in love, the next Christmas Audrey found Siegfried upon one knee asking her to marry him. Alongside Edward’s birth, Audrey recalled the moment as her most precious memory. Siegfried scooped her into his arms and felt her lips open to Siegfried’s touch. With their happy news, Audrey then began to visualise her life growing with Siegfried by her side. With the war brewing in Europe, Audrey tried her hardest to focus on the present, but even Helen noticed her loving gaze as Siegfried held baby Jimmy within his arms. The bouncing baby and giggles filling the Skeldale House sitting room still made Audrey smile. He was wonderful with the new baby, not grumpy or stoic as he appeared with the Skedale company but animated and loving. She would call herself a liar if she didn’t picture this for Siegfried and herself. The thought of seeing their baby’s birth, their first steps, first words was enough to make her insides quiver with wonder. She knew the thought remained in God’s hands, but she still wanted to hold a small torch for the thought of starting a family with Siegfried.
A family.
Audrey then curled to her side with a piece of Siegfried pressed to her chest. She drew her mind from the future to the present and thought about the intended wedding night. She also wondered if Siegfried pondered about their future marriage would change the lifestyle of Skeldale House. But, she knew the first step after the ceremony was to move out of her familiar room and into the soft embrace of Siegfried’s arms.
His arms.
It was all she could think about since the pair began to discover the deeper bond between them. She wondered what their first time would be like. To be beautifully bare and vulnerable for each other as they began the first steps of their new life. Sighing again, a hand pressed against her chest as the clock slowly ticked in the background. She wanted nothing more than to hold Siegfried tightly and kiss him until they joined as one and shuddered from the intensity. She recalled his cursive stroke from the note and how he never wanted to leave her side. He wanted to hold her hand until the end of time and Audrey couldn’t imagine a more beautiful way to start her new life.