Chapter Text
"You look like a cat!"
Bright. So bright, Suna had to raise a hand to shield his eyes as he squinted up at the small boy. As bright as the sun. Which was literally why Suna had escaped into the nice cool shade of the tree in the first place.
And taking a nap somewhere where his mother couldn't see and scold him for not playing with the other kids.
"Hah?" He, so eloquently, answered the little orange-haired boy interrupting his precious nap.
The boy's bright grin only seemed to grow larger at Suna's answer. Was it his tone? Suna is pretty sure it was as plain as ever. "Your hair," the boy explained loudly, tugging at his own strands to mimic the way Suna's hair stood up. "And your eyes - they're so gwah and pretty like a cat's!" He gasped and leaned forward excitedly. "Can you see in the dark too?!"
Suna blinked. "You look like an orange." Like the sun.
Instead of feeling insulted, the boy pulled something out from - seemingly nowhere?? "It’s orange flavored! You want it?"
And okay, Suna decided that this boy was not only the sun, but also an angel.
He was holding out a tube of chuupet - was offering it to him . Cupid might as well have shot Suna through the heart.
The feeling of genuine joy must have shown on his face - even if only just the tiniest bit - because the boy beamed even more and then began bouncing on his feet as Suna stood up from his spot on the grass. "Woah, you’re tall!"
"And you're short," Suna stated and quickly snatched the chuupet from the boy's hand before he could change his mind. Wondered if they would continue to state the obvious.
The boy frowned. Something churned in Suna's chest at making the boy's expression fall. Weird. "I’m only six years old – I’m still growing!"
That frown. It. Looked all wrong on the boy's face. The sun that interrupted his nap. The angel who gave him his favorite snack. Suna's expression remained blank, but his gaze briefly moved to the side. Did he feel uncomfortable? Ashamed? Weird.
The next thing he did was even weirder. He broke the chuupet tube in two. And held one half out to the boy. His favorite snack. For a nameless boy who interrupted his sleep and made him stand up, with irritating bright orange hair, a wide grin that showed the gap of a missing tooth, brown eyes that were warm and soft as pillows, and a frame that was so small that he'd fit perfectly next to him under the tree and they could nap together-
The boy took it eagerly, his frown replaced by a dazzling smile. Suna could have sworn he felt something as ridiculous as his heart skipping a beat.
"I'm Shouyou!" The boy - Shouyou - introduced himself happily and sat down, leaning against the tree trunk and leaving enough space for Suna right next to him. The shade would still shelter both of them from the sun.
Well, from the one high up in the sky.
Suna officially declared Shouyou the very walking sun of the ground as he sat down next to him, surprisingly not that irritated by the warmth radiating from the smaller boy.
"Rintarou," he said without looking at Shouyou and began to eat.
Shouyou let out a hum between slurps. "Rin-chan."
Suna blinked, staring at the grass. “I'm seven. So older than you."
Shouyou let out another hum. "Rina-san?"
Suna blinked again, slower this time. "Rintarou is fine, I guess." Besides the usual nonchalant tone, his voice was a little quieter…
"Okay, Rintarou!"
And Suna didn't really mind when Shouyou leaned his head on his shoulder. And just sighed in mild annoyance as some of the sweet, sticky syrup ran down Shouyou's fingers and onto Suna's shirt.
Even though they had just met, when it was time to leave, they asked their mothers for a sleepover. And it turned out that they already knew each other, which wasn't really that surprising since they all lived in the same neighborhood, but even so, Shouyou let out an excited gasp at the revelation.
And then Shouyou literally squealed when they agreed to the sleepover.
There was something happening in Suna's chest again. Maybe it was his heart. Maybe he was dying. Hm. He had to look that up later on mom's computer.
(He distantly noticed something flickering across Hinata-san's face as they walked away. The lasting look his own mother cast over her shoulder.)
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His mom let them watch TV all evening. At some point, Shouyou's eyes closed and his head fell onto his shoulder again. Suna curled into the other boy's side.
Suna thought that was kind of okay. Shouyou was kind of okay.
Shouyou was the sun and from the day they met, Suna became his shadow, always following him.
Which was exhausting because Shouyou ran around a lot and played with so many children who were like flowers raking for his light, which was annoying.
But it was kind of okay because whenever Suna got tired of playing and took a nap under the trees, Shouyou would join him.
And always something weird grew between his ribs, around his heart, when he saw their pouts and frowns on the other kids' faces. Something he assumed was kind of ugly, but Suna could not care less.
Because the sun shone first and foremost for him and not for them.
The weight of the little boy's head resting on Suna's shoulder and his soft orange hair tickling Suna's cheek were pretty okay. Shouyou was pretty okay.
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"Shou-nii's like mum."
Suna let out a questioning hum at his sister's words, but didn't look up from his comic. Supergirl was pretty amazing. Knowing Rimi, she was just trying to distract him to take it away from him. Whatever for - she couldn't even read.
"You're like dad."
"Ha?" Still didn't look up.
"When will you two marry?"
Suna blinked. Directed his gaze to his sister, still clutching the page tightly to prevent his sister from taking it. The boy tilted his head, Rimi immediately mimicked the movement. There she stood in her four-year-old glory with an expression that was somehow even blanker than his.
There was the tiniest crease between Suna's eyebrows. Did his heart make that skip again? "What are you saying?"
Rimi stared at him for exactly six seconds before the corners of her lips twitched. "You're so stupid."
Suna was mildly irritated. "I'm seven."
"And I'm four," she shot back, puffing out her chest like she'd just won something. Mumbled you’re stupid again and walked away.
"I'm telling mom," Suna said halfheartedly with a roll of his eyes, bringing his attention back to the comic in his hands.
His sister's words quickly faded into the back of his mind. Four-year-olds were constantly talking nonsense.
Besides, he was far too young to get married.
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"Come on! It will be so so much fun!"
Suna disagreed. Nevertheless, he let Shouyou drag him out of the house into the warm summer air to have a water balloon fight with Shouyou's friend from his old town who came to visit.
"Why did you guys move anyway?" Suna asked, digging his feet into the ground here and there to make it harder for Shouyou to drag him around.
"Dad’s job, I think," Shouyou replied, tugging on his arm impatiently. Then he added quietly, "Mama's whole family lives in Miyagi. He never really liked that."
Suna's gaze moved from one pavestone to the other. His stomach felt heavy at Shouyou's words. Suna didn't know why. He hadn't met Shouyou's father yet - it was always Hinata-san who picked Shouyou up from their house. Never been to Shouyou's either.
"Izumi!" Shouyou called out to a freckled boy who was waiting at the entrance to the playground with a bucket full of water balloons in his hand.
"Sho-chan!"
Suna's eyes slightly narrowed. Sho-chan. Hm.
They came to a stop in front of Izumi and Shouyou let go of his hand - ??? - to throw himself at Izumi. Suna blinked. His finger twitched.
There it was again – that ugly feeling. Shouyou was making friends all the time, so this feeling had already become a ghost that followed him everywhere, but this was different. Izumi was special to Shouyou, right?
Suna was too. He knew that. But he still didn't quite like sharing the sunlight.
It's funny. Suna always preferred the cooling shade of clouds to sunlight, except when Shouyou radiated it.
"We just saw each other a few minutes ago," Izumi laughed, but still put the bucket down so he could wrap his arms properly around Shouyou's small form. Another of Suna's fingers twitched.
"But it's been so so long and you're only here for today," the orange-haired boy murmured into Izumi's neck, hugging him even tighter. "I miss you…"
Suna stood there awkwardly. Shouyou sounded sad, which didn't happen that often. The move must still upset him very much.
(But otherwise they wouldn't have met.)
Suna took one more look at the hugging pair before reluctantly walking towards the water balloons. He sighed and picked up a red one. It wouldn't be that bad, right?
The side of the balloon was wet from filling it. So his hand was wet now... Same would go for his shirt, his shorts, his hair, his face-
…
Cheering up Shouyou was worth it.
Suna threw the balloon at them.
Shouyou reeled back with a shriek that turned into peals of laughter. Suna's lips quirked.
Meanwhile, Izumi remained rooted on the spot, water dripping down his hair, and frowned at the dark-haired boy, whose slight smile turned into a smirk at the sight of it
Suna raised an eyebrow. Izumi's frown deepened.
"Uwah!" Shouyou exclaimed, pushing his wet hair back, breaking their staring contest. Judging by his big eyes, he just realized that he hadn't introduced them yet. "Rintarou, this is Izumi." Yep. Suna gave the freckled boy a once-over instead of greeting him. He had been told that his gaze was very intimidating for a seven-year-old.
Izumi squared his shoulders but didn't react further. Hm.
"And Izumi, this is Rin-"
"Suna," he cut Shouyou off curtly.
Shouyou paused and frowned momentarily, but then accepted it with a shrug.
"Alright," Izumi muttered under his breath and picked up the bucket again. "It’s sad that Koji couldn’t come. We could've played two against two."
Suna didn't know who this Koji was (liar Shouyou had mentioned him before), but he was kind of glad he didn't have to deal with another one. However, he quickly got lost of that thought when he saw the sad smile Shouyou gave Izumi.
(There was no reason for him to be sad though... Suna was his friend and he was here all the time!)
"Then it's Shouyou and me against you," Suna explained, fixing Izumi with his half-lidded gaze, leaving him no room to argue.
And still Izumi argued. "Suna-kun-"
"San."
"Suna-kun, I wanna play with Sho-chan," Izumi said firmly, clenching his free hand into a fist. Annoyance boiled in Suna's blood. Wow, this was really bothering him.
Suna took a step forward and then-
Got hit by a balloon on the side of his head??
He blinked and noticed Izumi's equally wet face and turned abruptly to Shouyou.
The boy's grin was blinding.
"All against all!" Shouyou yelled and set off with a bunch of balloons cradled in his arms.
Now Suna was one who took advantage of most of the chances he had during gym class to slack off. And when he played with Shouyou, he would sometimes just stop and wait until Shouyou tired himself out so they could sit under the tree.
(It was kinda physically impossible for Shouyou to run out of energy. He just pretended to be for Suna.)
However, now... Suna chased Izumi all over the playground. He didn't miss a single shot.
However, he did muse how, after minutes of not being included in their little war, Shouyou hung back flat-faced and without the usual sparkle in his eyes.
Suna only noticed when his sister - who literally appeared out of nowhere??? - had walked over, jumped up to hit him on the shoulder, and pointed at the orange-haired boy sulking under the tree and picking at the grass.
Something wrapped itself around his heart - far too rough and tight for such a delicate thing - and squeezed. It felt terrible... Suna felt terrible.
Rimi went over to Izumi and started to ask him meaningless questions. Oh. His sister was truly the best. Suna walked towards Shouyou. Fast. Quick. It felt like he was running. His breath came short .
Ah, he was running. Shouyou had kinda been the only person who had gotten Suna to do so willingly.
His chest felt weird as he stopped right in front of the boy, the sound of quiet sniffling reaching his ears.
Shouyou looked up. Red-rimmed, tear-filled eyes. It looked like the sun was bleeding. Something someone would name a painting after. A sad one.
Shouyou should never be sad. There was so much wrong with it. Why did Suna suddenly feel so cold? Where had the summer heat gone? How had his world lost all its warmth at the mere sight of Shouyou's tears?
He took another step forward. "Shouyou-"
"Go away!" Shouyou yelled, lowering his head again and pulling his knees to his chest.
Suna froze. His eyes widened in shock. Shouyou never yelled at him. Not like this - only ever out of pure excitement, not anger.
Never dismissed him. Always sought out his presence.
And honestly, Suna would've already deserved it many times before. Because Shouyou was energetic and loved to play and Suna was Suna. So he would understand if Shouyou left him here and there to play with the other kids, even if it would make that ugly feeling explode in Suna's chest - but Shouyou never left him behind. Always returned to him.
It was nice. So very kind. Just the way Shouyou was.
Suna now had to do the same. Had to be kind. Shouyou shouldn't be alone when he's upset. Shouldn't cry.
Shouyou had such a beautiful smile. It had made Suna smile back more than once.
But Suna never got the chance to comfort Shouyou because the moment he opened his mouth to speak, Shouyou beat him to it. "Why are you being so mean!?" Shouyou jumped to his feet with his hands clenched into fists. Suna gaped in surprise. "Izumi didn’t do anything! He's so kind and - and he lives so far away - I never see him, but I see you all the time! Why do you feel so-so th- thre- th-"
"Threatened," Suna supplied quietly. Damn this ugly feeling, it was bound to become a problem. He hated it - had to change it.
…That feeling was his though. Was him. He had to change, huh.
Was Suna really so wrong for wanting to spend as much time with Shouyou as possible? No, maybe, a little - but that wasn't really the problem, was it? Suna got carried away and ignored Shouyou. Ignored him because of this - because of this… jealousy?
Jealousy.
Oh.
Suna didn't think he's stupid, but maybe he was.
"I’m sorry," Suna said hesitantly, trying not to avert his eyes from the sight of Shouyou’s tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips.
"I-Idon’t care when it’s the other kids," Shouyou managed through staggered breaths. "But Izumi is one of my best friends and so are you!" Suna's own breath hitched. "You both make my heart go so gwah and fast, I wanna feel that for as long as I can. Izumi's going back tonight and you have to go home and so do I!"
And... and the panic in Shouyou's voice. The clenching of his fists. The tears that seem to never end. The crack of his voice at the end of his sentence…
"You don't have to," Suna said with a shake of his head that felt very desperate. "We can have a sleepover-"
"We just had one," Shouyou murmured, wiping away his tears. More simply followed.
"So? My parents don't mind-"
"But my dad does," Shouyou said quietly and started fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It made him appear smaller than he already was, and the light he constantly emitted was dimmed. "And I can't leave mama alone all the time."
Suna heard Shouyou's voice break again and concluded that he didn't really like his father. Suna had only seen the pained expression Shouyou wore on his face once, when the boy scraped his knees.
Suna wanted to say something, to ask Shouyou what exactly he meant, but... Suna couldn't get the words out. Didn't know how. Like when his teacher asked a question and he couldn't find an answer, but this was so much more important and he still could just not speak.
Instead, he looked down for a moment, shuffling his feet and fiddling with his fingers like the stupid little boy he was. "I'm sorry," Suna repeated. "I-I really am! I'll get along with Izumi, I promise. I’ll make sure you have fun!" Did his voice just crack? "I promise, Shouyou."
There was a moment of silence and Suna worried that he had said something wrong. What else – what other – should he maybe really ask about his father-
"Rintarou…" Suna's head snapped up in an instant - hooded, sheltered eyes immediately finding Shouyou's wide, warm ones. "It's okay." How could he say that when Suna could so clearly see the redness the tears left behind. "But... I want you to have fun too, okay?"
Suna blinked. His face felt wet. "I do." He blinked again and nodded quickly. "I always do when I’m with you."
Shouyou tilted his head and Suna blinked again. Again, again and again. Until Shouyou suddenly stood in front of him and raised his hand to Suna's cheek and brushed something away. Oh.
Suna didn't even notice that he had started go cry.
Shouyou smiled at him. So so bright. "Don’t cry, okay? I'm fine again, okay? You don’t have to cry."
Suna could only hum in response. His heart was beating really fast. Fast and loud, like raindrops falling against a window.
The rest of the day flew by in a blur. At one point, Izumi had climbed up the slide to escape Shouyou's lethal attacks, but Shouyou had simply jumped up to get him, and as Suna watched, he couldn't help but think that the little orange-haired boy with the sun's smile really was an angel
And he was Suna's best friend.
And that's probably why it hurt a little bit when Izumi revealed that his visit was some kind of early birthday present for Shouyou, who would turn seven next week. Suna did not know that.
"We don't really celebrate it," Shouyou shrugged at the end of the day as they waved after Izumi's mother's car. "I don’t really care, I think - I don’t like it that much."
And all Suna could think about on the way home was what gift Shouyou would like most. What would make him enjoy his birthday.
(He also wondered if Shouyou's father was one of the reasons Shouyou didn't like his birthday.)
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"Mom?"
His mother hummed in question, but didn't stop chopping vegetables or look up. Suna hesitated. It wasn't really any of his business, was it? But... but Shouyou had looked so sad. And Suna was his best friend.
"You know Shouyou's dad?"
His mother nearly cut her finger, which almost made Suna wince. His chest churned, his heart raced. She looked up. "I do, yes," she said, smiling, but it was strained and tight. Not at all like the usual warm one she always wore.
(Reminded him of how different Shouyou's entire demeanor had been when he talked about his father.)
Suna's fingers then his whole hands twitched at his sides and his throat itched strangely. Felt something long and spindly at the back of it, crawling out as if it wanted to escape. He kept his lips shut tightly. The pressure was now against his eyes. He felt like crying. Like sobbing.
He was worried. So very worried.
Because something was obviously wrong. So very wrong.
Suna's lips parted and then were sewn back together as if by an invisible force. So one and on it went several times, his mother watching and waiting patiently and anxiously, but with each passing second her expression fell more and more.
Then Suna finally managed to croak out the words, her hands clenched into fists in silent anger. "I don’t think Shouyou likes him that much."
She nodded in acknowledgment, smile now so very little and sad sad sad. A sad little thing.
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