Chapter Text
Bright light burned my eyes, the red glow shining through my eyelids was enough to wake me up despite the fact that I had went to bed just a few hours before after a long night out with friends. My mother would be enraged if she knew how much I had drank the night before, I almost didn’t even make it home but I was dragged back by one of my friends when she saw some old man ogling me from across the bar, I have to force my body to get up and wash off the sins of the past 24 hours before work.
If I could get away with it I would take the day off from my shift at the local cafe, it’s not like my coworkers would even need much help considering business has been bad ever since I started working there, I certainly was quite infamous in school and even now my bad reputation follows me like a stray dog. Nobody likes the girl who fucks around with her teacher to pass her French exams but I did what I had to, after my mum forced me to do a language class I certainly wasn’t going to study to pass it, what am I? Some sort of nerd? I was known as the sluttiest girl in town after that whole affair went public and that teacher? Lost her job and was even more disgraced than I.
Staring in the mirror as I brush my teeth I take in my ghostly pale face, it’s contrast with my coal coloured hair which is ruffled from my night out, my makeup is smeared and I wash it off, the mirror is dirty and I look around to see the whole bathroom is still a mess… the whole house has been a mess since I stopped bothering to clean it all, my mum never would and my dad… well he’s long gone. Finally once I’m satisfied that I’m clean at least I grab a plain black dress that I brought in with me, at work there’s no uniform but the dress code calls for “appropriate” clothing whatever that means, the shoes I pick are equally plain boots that are looking a bit worse for wear but from the state of my family’s home you can definitely tell we don’t come from money, money we do get is spent on the bare minimum as well as a concerning amount of alcohol, my mother may judge my drinking but she is the biggest hypocrite I know.
I clip my name tag onto my dress, my severely dyslexic boss spelt my name as “Heothor” when he sent it off to be engraved but it doesn’t matter anyways as in such a small town everyone knows everyone already, I couldn’t say anything to my boss about it because he gets mad when he’s questioned on anything so the best way to handle him is to shut up and get on with it. With my work clothes on I head down for breakfast which is just a couple slices of dry toast, there is butter but it’s been there for weeks and even if it’s in date I have a weird phobia of food that has been in the house more than a week, I choke down the toast with some water and put my plate and glass on the counter for someone other than me to deal with.
The cafe isn’t far from my house and I don’t feel like driving so I just start walking there, passing all the houses on my street filled with large families of unruly children, aggressive dogs and one house that has around 40 cats and counting. There is nobody normal here but I don’t really think normal exists, it’s just a lie we tell ourselves to aim for and everyone’s definition is different. A few houses down from mine belongs to an exhausted single mother and her two children, a boy and a girl each only 7 years old, I watch them sometimes when their mother goes out to do all sorts of illicit substances with her deadbeat baby daddy and the kids seem to view me as more of a caretaker than she is so they always run down to greet me on my way to work.
“Heather!” A shrill squeal catches my attention.
I turn around and smile, “Hi Violet, where’s Ben?” I ask her.
“He’s hiding because mummy yelled at him,” Violet answered.
Sighing I just nod, I wish I could just take the pair of them and run away but just yelling at kids isn’t a good enough excuse to do that for most people so the best I can do is watch them as much as possible.
“I have to go to work now but I’ll be back by the time you finish school, be sure to not let your mum’s anger bother you and make sure Ben is ok,” I tell her.
“Ok! I’ll scare off all the bullies!” Violet said confidently, she was always much more resilient than her brother but a small girl like her shouldn’t have to be resilient.
Smiling I walk away, it was always the best part of my morning to see my sweet little friend, my adult friends had no understanding of why I blew them off sometimes just to hang out with Violet and Ben but I enjoyed their company, it was more than just friendship but it wasn’t quite a maternal love… it was confusing and maybe sort of sick but morals are a made up concept I keep telling myself so it’s fine if I like them like… that, it’s fine if I want to wake up next to them and run my hands over their soft bodies because a want is all it is.
Stuck in my own head I almost trip over a dead cat on the street, it’s mangled corpse is covered in maggots and one eye is glazed over while the other is just an empty socket, the fur is dull but glistening with blood and I almost cry at the sight of such a pitiful creature but I stop myself and keep walking, I may come back to bury it later but for now I’m already late. I don’t particularly care about most things but I do care about animals and a small percentage of people so witnessing such a sight struck me to my core, I can’t bear to see small and innocent things hurt like that.
Outside the cafe is an assortment of chairs and tables, they are wobbly and creak when you sit down but across the street is the view of the ocean, the one beautiful thing in this entire town so most people sit outside even if the chairs inside are slightly more comfortable with their cheap cushions stained with god knows what. I push open the glass door and enter to a scene of food thrown everywhere.
“What happened?” I ask, turning to my coworker at the cash register.
“Some drunk came in and started making a mess, the police finally arrived and got him to leave but you have to clean up because Marvin will kill me if I leave the till,” My coworker Henry explains.
I nod and grab the cleaning supplies, no customers are here so it seems like it will be another slow day, you would think if it was the only cafe in town it would be busier but people here really do hate me because I’m apparently a troublemaker despite being one of the few people here without any criminal record or extensive history with hard drugs, they just don’t like girls who aren’t total prudes. On the floor and all over the walls there is a mess of various different foods, it’s disgusting really and I saw a decomposing cat on the way here, I clean as well as I can while making small talk with Henry who has the personality of a doorknob so it’s hard to feign interest in what he did over the weekend.
Once the cafe is finally clean I realise about an hour has passed, I zone out easily at work with my monotonous tasks but I’d rather have a job like this rather than one I actually have to think at, my head hurts when I have to focus for too long and I remember to even get through homework when I was in school I had to self medicate with coffee and energy drinks. Since I had started cleaning a couple of customers had come and gone with to go orders of hot drinks and small snacks such as muffins, people staying for actual meals is a rare occurrence but occasionally people from out of town come in to have a sandwich lunch.
My shift lasts five hours but it passes in a blur, when Marvin isn’t in I can get away with listening to music on my earphones so long as a customer isn’t in so I enjoy my favourite albums as I sit around waiting for more stuff to clean, cleaning is basically all I do here unless it’s a day I’m behind the counter and those days all I do is serve up drinks and food which is Henry’s job today. I wave bye to Henry as the clock strikes 2pm and my shift is officially over until tomorrow, Violet and Ben’s school bus will be pulling up at the bus stop soon so I practically jog my way there so I can talk to them as soon as they get out.
The grey sky above warns for rain, I know the kids probably won’t have brought their coats with them and I didn’t want them walking home alone in the rain so I increased my speed, the run to the bus stop took only a couple minutes and once I got there the clouds had begun to spill their tears so I hid under the shelter to wait. The school day ends at 2pm but the bus always takes at least 10 minutes to get here so I scroll through tiktok to distract myself from the cold, it makes me shake but I also shake at the excitement of seeing Violet and Ben again, I can’t wait to spend more time with them and this was one of the nights their mother would be away so I would get to stay at their house overnight.
Through the rain I could see the bus lights approaching, once it pulled up I saw the faces of about thirty children peeking out the window and two of them had faces beaming with smiles to see me. The bus driver pressed the button to open the door and a whole stampede of children emerged from the bus, most of them lived close enough to walk home alone but a few had parents waiting along with me to collect the ones who would have to walk further. In the middle of the crowd I saw Violet, she had her brother’s hand in her’s and she dragged him through the chaos to reach me.
“Let’s get out of here,” I tell them, my hands on their backs to guide them in the right direction.
As we walk back to their house in the rain which is finally calming down Violet tells me about her day, all the stuff she did in class and who she played with at break and lunch, Ben stays quiet and I don’t push him because I know school is overwhelming for the young boy who is suspected autistic. Violet is outgoing and hyperactive, she finds it easy to make friends but hard to do her schoolwork unless it’s something that involves being creative or interests her, she loves music and dressing like a princess but isn’t afraid to get dirty which I love; her brother on the other hand is quite anxious, he’s smart but the other kids in his class think he’s dumb because he doesn’t really talk and he never mastered potty training so he wears diapers almost all the time even in school, he is smart though as I see him spend ages reading books above his age group and when he does talk we can have quite mature conversations to the point I feel like I’m talking to another adult. Both kids are quite different and you would think because of that I would prefer one to the other but I love both more than their parents ever have or ever could.
We make it to their house looking like three drowned rats but it’s fine, I’ll have them dry and warm in no time. Using the key that I was gifted last year by their mother once I started watching the kids I unlock the door, inside the house is just about presentable as I tidy while I’m there and I head upstairs while Violet runs into the sitting room to watch her cartoons, Ben follows me and taps me to get my attention.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I need changed,” Ben informs me, pointing at the bulge in his trousers that is his diaper.
“Ok, just get up on the bed and I’ll grab a fresh diaper for you,” I say.
Ben climbs onto the bed and lays flat, his body is so still it’s almost lifeless as I remove his clothes. My hands quiver as I undo the tapes on his diaper that is sagging from his pee, it’s a familiar sight as Ben never realises he needs a change until he’s almost leaking but my mouth waters from the sight so I’m not complaining, something about the fact that he has no control over his bladder makes me wet and it takes everything in me to not lick at the sodden padding and it’s even harder to not clean his little cock with my thirsty tongue. Ben just lays there as I wipe him with baby wipes and sprinkle some power on him, I tape the fresh diaper around his waist and once I’m done he runs off with nothing else on, in the house it doesn’t matter if he wears nothing but a diaper and I love secretly taking photos of him in it when he isn’t looking to touch myself to later. The wet diaper he had on sits on the bed, I didn’t roll it up because I wanted to look at it more, I find it weird that I’m so fixated on such a “gross” object but I take it in my hands and inhale the smell of the golden liquid from my naughty little crush.
My waist is small, not that much bigger than Ben’s so a thought races through my head, what if I wore one of his diapers? It was definitely my most embarrassing kink but I had wanted to wear them again from practically the second I was potty trained and this was the perfect opportunity as it’s not like I had to worry about people noticing, Violet wasn’t that observant and Ben probably wouldn’t notice either so without a second thought I grabbed a clean one from the packet and started putting it on. As soon as the diaper was on I felt so unbearably horny, I stood up and looked in the mirror to see it wasn’t noticeable under my dress so I wandered into the sitting room to find both kids mindlessly staring at the tv screen, I sat on the sofa next to them and smiled at how wonderful I felt.
After about an hour of watching cartoons with Violet and Ben I felt the need to pee, I let it go immediately and the warmth of my own urine flooded the diaper, it felt amazing until to my horror I felt some on my leg and saw it drip down onto the sofa.
“Did you pee yourself?” Violet asked.
My face was white.
“It’s ok if you did, Ben does too but you know that,” Violet tried to comfort me seeing my distress.
“Yeah! You can wear one of my diapers if you need to, I don’t mind,” Ben tells me.
“I just need to go get cleaned up,” I squeak and I run out of the room, that was not how I wanted that to go but I suppose even if a diaper made for children does fit me it wouldn’t hold a full emptying of an adult’s bladder.
Getting into the shower I wash myself off and toss the diaper into the bin, once I’m done I get out to go downstairs again and clean my pee off the sofa but I open the door to see Violet standing with a diaper.
“If you pee yourself you need to wear a diaper, that’s what mummy says,” Violet tells me.
“Ok,” I say, I would fight it but honestly I don’t want to.
Violet takes my hand and leads me into her mother’s room, she gets me to lie down on the bed and puts the diaper in underneath me.
“I know what to do because mummy makes me change Ben sometimes when she doesn’t want to,” Violet explains.
Ben comes into the room holding some baby powder and wipes.
“You need these remember!” He says to Violet and she takes them.
Violet begins to wipe all between my legs and I feel myself becoming more and more aroused to be touched by her in such an intimate area, she cleans far more thoroughly than she needs to as I already had a shower but I don’t stop her as the longer she touches me the better. Once Violet is satisfied with how clean I am she pours on the baby powder, probably way more than what should be used but I let her continue and then she does the tapes.
“Ok now no more accidents for you!” She tells me.
“Got it,” I reply and I reach for my dress again which I realise I never put on again after my shower but Violet stops me.
“You don’t need that, in the house all you need to wear are diapers,” Violet says.
I remove my hand from the dress and we all go downstairs, Violet still in her school uniform and Ben and I wearing only diapers. While we watch more tv downstairs I occasionally do small wettings and Violet takes it upon herself to keep checking the state of mine and Ben’s diapers.
At some point when it’s quite late and I’m thinking of sleeping Ben turns to look at me.
“What’s up?” I ask him.
“Do you know it feels really nice when you rub your diaper?” He asks me.
“No I didn’t, could you show me?” I questioned him hoping he would.
Ben starts to rub at my diaper and Violet joins in, it feels so good I start grinding into their hands and whimpering as I push my pussy deeper into the wet padding between my legs.
“So you see it really does feel good!” Ben tells me happily as they both stop before I can finish.
“I can show you something that feels good as well if you take your diaper off and Violet takes her clothes off,” I say with my heart racing praying I can get away with this.
Ben rips his diaper off and Violet’s clothes are on the floor immediately and I gesture for them to lie down.
“I’m going to do this one at a time so I’m going to start with Ben so he can get another diaper on quickly before he pees,” I say.
Leaning down I open my mouth and begin to tentatively lick at the small and undeveloped member in my mouth as Ben squirms, he becomes physically aroused almost as soon as I start and my licking becomes more eager. I think the parts of older men are repulsive but Ben’s I am as enthusiastic as I would be licking my favourite ice cream so it doesn’t take long for him to have what is probably his first ever dry cum which is the most he can do until puberty and at that point even if I’d still love him I don’t think I could bring myself to be intimate with him.
“That was the best feeling ever!” Ben gasped.
“We can do that any time you want but you can’t tell anyone because it’s a secret between friends,” I declare, I probably should have made him promise to keep it a secret before I started blowing him but it’s fine.
“I won’t tell,” Ben promised and he reached up for a hug.
“Can I have my turn now?” Violet asks making her sad pouty face.
“Of course!” I exclaim and Violet lies down again.
Once again I start gentle, like I’m approaching a wild animal that could turn on me at any moment but really I’m just scared to make her first time a bad experience like it was for me, I run my tongue along her perfectly pink lips and listen to Violet already making sounds of satisfaction so I thrust my tongue as deep as I can. I lick at her hungrily like I haven’t ate in years while Violet becomes more and more vocal as she gets closer to climaxing, it doesn’t take long just like it didn’t take long for Ben because neither of them would have done anything like this before, it’s an honour to be the first for each of them.
The door creaks and I jump like I’ve been electrocuted.
Violet and Ben are still on the floor, there’s not supposed to be anyone else here tonight.
The room is suddenly silent and the thumping of my heart in my chest is all I can feel and hear as I slowly turn my head around, scared for what I’d see because I know the sound of someone opening a door compared to just the usual weird sounds that houses make.
Whoever is there definitely saw me with my face deep between Violet’s legs, Ben is still completely naked as well and I could see the looks of confusion on their faces as I stopped like a deer in headlights.
Once my eyes finally reach our unexpected guest I see it’s Violet and Ben’s mother Laura, she saw everything.
I open my mouth to try to explain my way out of this, what excuse could I possibly give? I don’t know but I start to ramble not even making coherent sentences but simply vomiting out words like “sorry” and “please” repeatedly, I notice that tears start streaming down my face and my body had moved into an almost laying position in front of the woman.
“I don’t care what you do,” she cut me off.
“Wha-,” I start to speak.
“You watched them for free, I knew there had to be some kind of catch,” Laura explained.
My tears began to slow.
“I won’t say anything, do what you want you clearly care more about them than I do,” she continued.
Sniffling and wiping the tears from my face I sigh from relief.
“You aren’t off the hook though,” Laura tells me after a pause.
My heart drops and I start to question what she could possibly want.
“I need you to take care of them full time, I don’t want any excuses or I tell everyone what I saw tonight and you know how that would end,” Laura says.
I gulp, I obviously love spending time with the siblings but what about my job? I need money to survive.
“This isn’t an excuse just a question, what about my job? I need to be able to pay for food and shit like that,” I ask her.
“I’ll buy food to keep in the house, help yourself to it because you’ll be here all day and night every day until you either finally snap and I follow through with my little threat or the kids get to an age they can completely look after themselves,” Laura explained.
With one worry out of the way and another one added now I know I can’t even leave I listen as Laura tells me all the rules she has set like I can’t go out for more than a couple hours and I always have to bring the kids, I can’t go anywhere when they’re at school and I have to stick to a strict schedule of meals and bed time with the kids unlike what I’ve been doing now which is apparently “letting them run wild”.
“And finally,” Laura began, “I don’t care if you fuck them.”
I nod and tell her I agree to the terms she set out but in my mind I’m panicking, how can I go what is probably years with basically no opportunity to leave this house and how can I explain to my mother that I’m quitting my job to basically be a parent for this woman’s neglected kids who everyone knows doesn’t care enough to pay a full time nanny rate never mind a live in one.
“You start tomorrow, I got home early tonight so I’ll be here and you pack anything you need because you wont be going home for a long time,” Laura tells me.
I get up and leave, feeling dizzy and looking like I just had the biggest shock of my life, which I had. I don’t really notice as I walk home on autopilot and once again I nearly trip over the cat I saw earlier, it looks even worse after the rain but I don’t even give a thought to the fact that was once a living creature I get so stuck in my own head.
I make it to my door and unlock it, I climb the stairs to go immediately into my room and grab the large suitcase from on top of my wardrobe which is covered in years of dust. I open the suitcase and start throwing in clothes indiscriminately, I don’t really have a particular style anyways so it doesn’t matter. I continue to put in the other essentials like deodorant and the notebook I write in sometimes but I can’t find my childhood plush dog under all the mess so I curl up in a ball on the floor and wail, I wail like the dog would even make anything better anyways but it would make me feel better at least.
I think I stayed like that all night, I don’t realise when I fell asleep but I remember flashes of my dreams that night like riding on my plush dog which has turned giant and sentient, running from the dead cat and being locked in what looked like a dog crate by Laura as Violet and Ben walk out of the room. I hate Laura even more now that I’m backed into a corner, yes what I did is technically wrong I can’t help but feel like I’m in the right because Laura saw me in a vulnerable position and blackmailed me into working for her for free, I really do feel trapped.
I wake up the next morning to find that I never took off the diaper, it hugs my waist and offers some comfort as the memory of the night before returns and I feel that it’s completely soaked, I think I had a genuine accident probably from all my stress but I don’t have time to worry about that so I throw it in a plastic bag to put in the bin on my way out. I take a final scan of my room, I look at the photos of my friends and I out partying pinned up on my notice board and almost cry again because if only I was normal I wouldn’t be in this whole mess and I know I said earlier that I don’t think normal exists but I think I’m too far away from it’s imaginary perfection, even further than everyone else in this town because at least they want normal relationships that won’t ruin their fucking lives. I’m tempted to pray, to beg some man in the clouds to get me out of this situation but I’m an atheist and I don’t think a god would help me anyways, I arguably don’t deserve it so instead I change into clean clothes and pick up my suitcase.
On the way out I find my mum asleep in front of the tv, I can call her later to tell her I won’t be back and once I’m out on the street I call Marvin.
“What’s up?” Marvin asks once the phone is answered.
“I have to quit,” I say.
“Well I’m shocked but I guess that’s fine, you can be done by the end of the month,” Marvin tells me.
“No, I mean I have to quit today,” I explain.
“That’s not what was in the contract you signed, you have to give more notice than that,” Marvin says.
“I have to quit, I’m not saying I want to but I have to and I beg that you ignore the contract as trust me I have a good reason,” I tell him, being as insistent and firm with my voice as I can but it’s hard when I’m physically shaking from anxiety.
“Fine, fine, I’ll let you quit today because despite what some people say I am reasonable,” Marvin sighs, giving up.
I thank him and by the time the call is over I’m already at the house, the house I will be living at for an unknown amount of time because some bitch blackmailed me. I stop for a second and breathe, I walk to the door and unlock it to see Laura standing waiting.
“Now that you’ve made it I’m leaving for a few days, make sure the house stays clean for when I get back and follow my rules but other than that enjoy,” Laura says with a smirk and I know exactly what she’s getting at with “enjoy” which makes my face turn slightly red.
“Oh and by the way,” Laura starts, “Violet said you pissed on the sofa so wear these the entire time you’re here,”
Laura pulls out a large pack of what from the packaging I can tell is adult sized diapers and my face turns even redder as she puts the package in my hand, after that before I can even blink Laura vanishes and I spot Violet and Ben standing at the top of the stairs.
“I had to tell her, she tells me to tell her if Ben has an accident so I thought that meant if anyone has one,” Violet tells me.
“That’s.. fine,” I say and walk up the stairs.
“Do you want me to change you again?” Violet asked.
I think about it, I definitely don’t need her help but to be touched by Violet again even if she thinks putting me in a diaper is completely innocent would be incredibly arousing so I nod and she takes my hand to lead me into the bedroom, my heart races as we walk and I have to try to not look overly excited as I hop onto the bed and pull down my jeans to reveal my plain black underwear which I slide off as well, I hope to not be wearing any more of that for a while.
Violet talks to me the whole time she puts the diaper on about what she’s going to do in school that day but I don’t even really listen, all I can think about is the soft padding beneath me that feels so much thicker than Ben’s diapers and all I want to do is wet it right there and then but I don’t just yet, I can be patient. As soon as Violet is done putting the diaper on me I pull up my jeans again and can see that there is quite a noticeable bulge and crinkling, it was far more obvious than I thought it would be and I knew Laura would probably expect me to walk the kids to the bus stop so I would have to go out like this in the small town where everyone knows everyone.
“Ok now we need to get you and your brother ready for school,” I inform Violet and she lets out an annoyed sigh.
“I don’t want to go to school, it’s so boring there,” Violet whines.
“I know, I know I hated it as well like probably more than you could even imagine but you have to go,” I tell her.
At that moment Ben comes into the room holding his crumpled up school uniform, probably the same one from yesterday because laundry was one of the few things Laura insisted on doing herself around here and she never did but it was too late to wash the uniform now when the school bus was coming in less than an hour so I just gestured for Ben to come over so I could help take off his mismatched pyjamas.
“Mummy said she was gonna wash my school clothes but she forgot again,” Ben explained.
“That’s fine, I’ll wash them once you get home but they’re not that dirty just wrinkled,” I told Ben.
“Mum already put me in a fresh diaper this morning by the way,” Ben said.
“Ok, can you lift your arms up so I can get this jumper on you?” I asked Ben.
Slipping the jumper over Ben’s head and then helping with his shoes I turned to see Violet had gotten herself dressed but her hair was still a mess so I told her to grab a brush, I gently brushed her hair until it was presentable again and then they were both ready to go, the kids got breakfast at school because Laura is poor so all that really has to be done to get them ready in the morning is to dress them.