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Crowley knew something was wrong the moment he saw the sender's name on the screen of his phone. Aziraphale almost never sent text messages, as he preferred calling to texting. He claimed that text messages felt impersonal and he used them only in exceptional cases.
Knowing all this, Crowley took a deep breath before opening the message. The moment he did, his heart shattered into pieces. The text was brief: Gabriel proposed to me. It caught him off guard. He knew that Aziraphale and Gabriel had been together in the past. However, they had ended their relationship long time ago, agreeing that they were better off as friends. Crowley was certain that there was nothing romantic between Aziraphale and Gabriel these days. He would have known that they got back together. At least he hoped he would have. Aziraphale was his best friend after all. The truth was that Aziraphale was more than that. Crowley had feelings for him but he didn't believe they could be more than friends. He didn't feel worthy of Aziraphale's affection. However, he was also certain that Gabriel wasn't worthy of it either.
Crowley knew what he had to do. He had to talk to Aziraphale as soon as possible. It was quite late. The clock showed 9:30 p.m. However, it was Saturday, so his angel didn't have to wake up early on the next day to open his bookshop. They had spent many Saturday evenings and nights drinking, dining and teasing each other. It was their thing. Aziraphale was his best friend. He could visit him unannounced right now.
The message Aziraphale sent him almost felt like an invitation. His friend didn't call him to tell him all about the proposal. Aziraphale didn't reveal if he accepted Gabriel's offer, and Crowley had to know. He wouldn't be able to fall asleep without getting the answer to that question. He knew they had to talk, but not over the phone. It had to be face to face. Crowley had to look Aziraphale in the eye and find out the whole truth.
He grabbed his coat and the car keys to his Bentley, and walked out of his flat. He tried not to think about the possibility of finding Gabriel at Aziraphale's home or worse, in his bed. The chance of that happening was small, but not non-existent. He doubted Aziraphale would have sent him such a message if Gabriel was still at his place, but half an hour ago he had no idea that the two of them were back together. Crowley felt that he couldn't trust his intuition any longer.
Aziraphale lived in a small flat above his bookshop. When Crowley arrived there, the lights in the flat were off, but there was a faint ray of light coming from the bookshop. Aziraphale must have been in the back room. It was a place where they both had spent many hours talking and drinking. It was the place where many years ago Crowley realised that he was in love with his best friend.
It started raining heavily. Crowley sighed and got out of his car, walking straight into the rain. He had no umbrella, but he didn't care. There was something soothing about the rain falling on his face. He needed that feeling.
Crowley knocked on the door of the bookshop. He couldn't have waited more than thirty seconds for Aziraphale to emerge from the back room and rush to the door, but it felt like an eternity.
“Crowley!” Aziraphale gasped at the state of his friend. “You came...”
“I came,” he whispered.
“You're all wet. Come in!” Aziraphale rushed him inside. “I need to bring you a towel. We need to get you dry...” he said, leading Crowley to the back room.
“Angel.”
“I don't want you to get sick,” he insisted.
“I don't care,” Crowley told him.
“Don't say that.”
The light in the back room was dim, but Crowley could see Aziraphale's face very clearly. His friend was pale and worried. He didn't look like a man who just got engaged.
“You sent me a text message,” said Crowley in an accusatory tone he didn't intend. He just couldn't help it. “You never text me.”
“I...” Aziraphale hesitated, completely forgetting about the towel he intended to fetch. “I didn't want to wake you up in case you were sleeping.”
Crowley snorted. That was a lie and Aziraphale was a lousy liar. “I never go to sleep that early and you know it,” he said.
Aziraphale sighed. “It was easier that way,” he admitted quietly.
“Easier?” Crowley asked in disbelief. “How...? Since when are you and Gabriel back together? I thought you two were better off as friends. I thought we were friends. Best friends! And you didn't tell me...”
Aziraphale was a little taken aback by his snarky tone. Crowley teased him all the time, but he was never cruel or bitter. “There was nothing to tell you,” he replied.
“Because I'm not worthy of the truth.”
“Because Gabriel suggested it today when I had dinner with him as a friend,” said Aziraphale firmly.
“What?”
“He surprised me too.”
“WHAT?” Crowley felt like he was about to faint. “How did you respond to... that?” he started stuttering. “T-tell me you said no.”
“Why?” Aziraphale asked him.
“Because it's nonsense. Tell me you said NO,” Crowley repeated.
Aziraphale sighed. “I didn't say no... or yes,” he added, noticing Crowley's reaction. “Gabriel gave me time to think about it. He made some valid points during his proposal...”
“How could he propose to you if you're not even together?” asked Crowley with a look of confusion and despair written all over his face.
“We used to be together,” Aziraphale pointed out.
“Yeah... used to. Past tense,” Crowley replied. “You can't just marry him now after so many years. You're different people now. You weren't even together that long.”
“Our relationship lasted six months and we remained friends after it ended,” muttered Aziraphale. “We're not strangers.”
“Maybe, but you're not... lovers. You told me that there was no passion between the two of you. There was no spark!” Crowley insisted.
Aziraphale took a deep breath. “Marriage is not about feeling a spark or an insatiable passion. Marriage is about commitment and companionship, and that's what Gabriel offered.”
“Marriage is more than that. You always wanted more,” Crowley reminded him. “You hoped for more and you deserve more. At the very least you should love your spouse. Do you love Gabriel?” he asked.
“I respect him,” said Aziraphale firmly. “You're right... I used to crave for more. I hoped that I would fall in love with someone who would reciprocate my feelings. I've been waiting for a long time for that to happen, but I'm 44 and I'm done waiting for something that may never come.”
“Don't give up, angel,” Crowley asked him. “Don't settle for someone who's convenient.”
“I don't want to die alone, and neither does Gabriel,” Aziraphale said, looking him in eye. “I know that you have a different lifestyle and may not understand my point of view...”
“A different lifestyle?” Crowley was clearly confused by his words.
Aziraphale sighed. “You avoid commitment,” he clarified.
“Is that what you think of me?” asked Crowley in disbelief. His heart broke even more.
“I don't condemn you,” Aziraphale assured him.
“It sounded like you did.”
“I don't,” he said firmly. “You like adventures and that's great. You don't need to settle down if that's not your cup of tea. You don't do boyfriends or girlfriends. You just...”
“You think I'm a slut.” Crowley was wounded.
“No, Crowley! I don't!”
“Yes, you do,” his voice was clearly resigned. He sighed. “For your information, I don't sleep around. I had some one night stands in the past but I haven't had one in years. I tried dating, but none of them seemed important enough to tell you about them.”
“Crowley... I didn't know...”
“Let me finish,” he said sharply. “I went on so many first dates to find someone who would help me move on. So many... And it never worked. I tried. I really tried, Aziraphale, you have to remember that.”
“I don't understand,” whispered Aziraphale.
Crowley snorted at his words. “You will,” he promised and took a deep breath. He knew what had to be said. There was no point in backing down now. “I... I'm a mess. I used to be an even bigger mess before I met you all those years ago. Your friendship... You changed me in so many ways.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” asked Aziraphale but Crowley ignored his question and continued his monologue.
“My family was toxic. You know the story... I had no one to look up to. I had no real friends, but then I met you and you showed me kindness.” Crowley smiled slightly at the fond memories. “At first I thought you wanted something from me, because that was how it worked in my world. Everything was a transaction. No one was kind without a hidden agenda. So I waited. I kept waiting for a blow from you but it never came. Well... at least not the one I expected.”
“What do you mean?”
Crowley chuckled fondly. “You'll see,” he said. “You became my friend and I wanted to be better for you. I wanted to keep up the appearances of being heartless and cynical, but it was just an act. For the first time in my life I thought that maybe the world had more to offer. You gave me hope for a better life. You became my best friend. My only friend.”
“You have other friends,” Aziraphale cut him off.
“I do now. Not then,” Crowley pointed out. “I have friends only because you made me a better person and I'm grateful for that.”
“You don't have to thank me for that. You're my friend. My best friend...” Aziraphale assured him. “And you changed me too, but I don't understand why you're telling me all of this now.”
“I'm getting there, angel. It's just... hard,” said Crowley. “You claim I'm your best friend. I do believe you but I don't feel worthy of that title.”
“Why?”
Crowley shrugged. “I'm just not worthy of you and neither is Gabriel,” he said. “You deserve more than us. You shouldn't settle for anyone less than perfect. That's what I think. However... If it's companionship and commitment that you want, you shouldn't settle for Gabriel. Not because he proposed first.”
“You think too highly of me, Crowley,” said Aziraphale. “I'm flattered, but I'm far from perfect.”
“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” whispered Crowley.
“I could say the exact same words to you,” Aziraphale assured him.
Crowley looked at him in disbelief. “Don't marry Gabriel,” he pleaded in a very weak voice.
“I don't want to wait and hope for more,” he said. “I just want to get married.”
“But why? Don't you like your life the way it is now?” asked Crowley.
“Yes, exactly.”
Crowley gasped at his words.
Aziraphale bit his lower lip. “Its just... If I marry Gabriel, I'll stop hoping for a passionate love that may never come to me. I will finally move on.” He was on the verge of crying.
“But it's Gabriel... He's not even your best friend,” Crowley insisted.
“Well... That position is held by you,” said Aziraphale, looking him in the eye in an almost daring manner.
“Then marry me!” These words escaped Crowley's mouth before he could think about the consequences.
“What?” whispered Aziraphale.
Crowley wasn't going to back away. “Marry me,” he repeated firmly. “I can give you better companionship than Gabriel. You know that. I still think you should find someone better, but if you want to settle for a friend, choose me.”
“It's not a good idea. I...” Aziraphale hesitated.
“Just a moment ago you were ready to marry Gabriel,” Crowley pointed out. “Why not me?”
“It would be different than with Gabriel,” he replied quietly. “More complicated.”
“You mean more difficult,” said Crowley sadly. “I know I'm a mess...”
“That's not it!” Aziraphale interrupted him. “It's far from it.”
Crowley grabbed his hands and pulled him closer. “Then what is it?” he asked. “Shall I get down on my knees and beg you not to marry him?”
“God, no...”
“I could do that. I'm desperate, angel.”
Aziraphale gasped. “I... I...” he was lost for words.
The tension was high. Without thinking too much, Crowley grabbed Aziraphale by his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't a shy and gentle kiss. On the contrary, it was heated and desperate.
To Crowley's utter surprise, Aziraphale didn't push him away, but instead wrapped his arms around him and pulled him even closer. Their tongues met and began to dance together with a passion Crowley had never felt before. He never wanted to let go, but eventually they needed to pull away to breathe.
“Crowley...” Aziraphale whispered.
“I love you,” said Crowley hastily, no longer afraid of his feelings. Their lips were mere inches apart. He could feel his friend's breath on his skin.
Aziraphale's eyes widened at the confession.
“I don't expect you to love me back,” Crowley assured him. “My proposal still stands if you want to get married. I don't expect anything...”
“What?” asked Aziraphale. “How can you say that? How can you think that I...?” He closed his eyes and leaned in. Their foreheads touched. It was intimate.
“You deserve more than I can give you, but I think we can work as a couple. There's clearly some attraction...”
“Crowley,” whispered Aziraphale. “You silly man... I wanted to move on because I had lost all hope that anything even remotely romantic would ever happen between us. I never really thought it was likely to happen, but I hoped. I couldn't help it.”
“Angel...”
Aziraphale chuckled. “You calling me angel was one of the things that kept me hoping,” he said.
Suddenly Crowley pulled away to look him in the eye.
“You almost agreed to marry Gabriel,” he mumbled. “Him! Of all people!”
“I thought it was my cue to move on with my life. He just asked first,” Aziraphale reminded Crowley.
“I asked second.”
“You did,” Aziraphale admitted. “You would never ask first. Neither would I.”
For a moment they looked at each other in complete silence.
It was broken by Crowley. “Will you do it, then?” he asked.
“Will I do what?”
“Marry me?”
Aziraphale gasped. “Isn't it too early? We've never really been together...”
“We've been friends for almost twenty year, angel. I love you and I'd love to marry you. Do you feel the same way?” he insisted.
“Of course I love you, you demon!”
Aziraphale rarely called him that, but Crowley loved it when he did.
“Will you marry me then?” he asked.
“Yes!”
Crowley pulled him into another kiss. When it ended, Aziraphale grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. They had to celebrate their very sudden engagement in some way. Many firsts happened between them that night. They had years of pent-up sexual tension to release and they didn't want to waste any more time.
The next day, Aziraphale called Gabriel and informed him that he had thought about his proposal and had to decline it. He did it in a very polite way. There were no hard feelings between them.
What Aziraphale didn't know was that Gabriel answered his phone during his brunch at Nina's cafe, just across the bookshop.
“And?” Maggie asked him. She and Nina watched him with anticipation from across the table.
“I think we've succeeded,” said Gabriel with a grin. “Aziraphale rejected my proposal.”
“Crowley's car has been parked outside the bookshop since last night,” said Maggie excitedly. “I noticed it when I curtained the windows before midnight.”
“My plan has worked!” Nina declared proudly. “I told you it would.”
“I never doubted you, my love,” Maggie assured her.
Nina glanced at Gabriel. “Now we need to find you somebody to love,” she said.
“That's not necessary.”
“Yes, it is!” said Maggie cheerfully.
“You're bi, aren't you?” Nina asked him.
“Yes.”
“Excellent! I think I know just the right person for you.”
Gabriel didn't believe in love at first sight, but he certainly felt something when Nina introduced him to Bee. At the very least he would have a plus one for Aziraphale and Crowley's wedding.