Chapter Text
Aegon came to Helaena’s chamber drunken and stumbling, as she suspected he would, still dressed in the clothes he wore to their wedding ceremony. His once beautiful, painstakingly crafted tunic was now creased and stained, and his unkempt hair had grown lank. He ordered the waiting ladies from the room, his voice tripping over syllables. From her seat at the dressing table, Helaena scrutinised his reflection in the mirror before her. Her braids were only halfway through the process of being undone. Her most trusted handmaiden ceased brushing her hair out for her. She handed over a comb made of bone and allowed Helaena to glimpse a parting look of pity before leaving. If anything, the expression on the older woman’s face bestowed comfort. What Helaena was about to endure was the burden of all women. She was not truly alone.
Aegon meandered towards Helaena’s bed, a half-empty glass carafe clutched in his hand, dark liquid sloshing inside it. He collapsed back onto a pillow, allowing the decanter to settle in the crook of his arm.
“Let’s get on with it then,” he slurred into the room, barely able to keep his eyes open.
Helaena did not turn around. She continued to take down her braids, unravelling the intricate style she had chosen for her wedding. Her mother allowed her one small decision. All else had been picked for her, even the colour of her dress, with its detailed floral embroidery. Aegon had barely looked at her during the ceremony. He was seemingly no more interested in her as his bride than he had been when she was just his sister. It was Aemond whose attention Helaena appeared to hold. The stitched patterns of midnight blue on her silver bridal gown perfectly matched the jewel he wore in place of his lost eye. Helaena often felt Aemond’s gaze upon her and had wondered, in the past, if a union between them would not have better suited both her and her brothers.
Alas, the time for such thinking was now over.
Helaena watched Aegon drift off to sleep as she brushed her long, soft tresses. She could leave him be, but she knew that her mother, and most probably her grandsire, would question the events of the evening. If she and Aegon did not consummate the marriage, it would have to happen the next night or the night after that, and so on, until the family was satisfied that they had performed their necessary deed and everything was legitimate. Helaena rose and moved to the bed, reaching for the pitcher at Aegon’s side. She grasped it and took a mouthful of bitter liquor. She hated the initial taste but enjoyed the downward trail of burning heat. Her stomach felt warm as she placed the jug on a side table.
She returned to the bed. In sleep, Aegon had lost his haughty air. No longer was derision writ upon his familiar features. He looked like the boy Helaena grew up with once more. She preferred him like that and regretted having to wake him. She disliked how he looked at her now that they were no longer children. It was as if he could not fathom her, as if she was an enigma he couldn’t be bothered to unravel. She swept the hair from his cheek, causing him to stir and open his eyes a fraction.
“Sister,” Aegon mumbled, recognising her. “Is it time?”
Helaena considered him. “I think not. You seem in need of more rest, and I would rather fulfil our duty when you are free from intoxication, Brother.”
She had taken a gamble. Her rejection had the potential to anger Aegon. He was known to become volatile when things did not go his way. She had chosen to be candid with him, hopeful that her honesty would pay off. Just before she woke him, she decided she wished for more than a drunken fumble. If she convinced Aegon to wait until the drink had worn off, he may be more gentle with her.
She sat back a little, holding perfectly still, eyeing him closely and waiting for his reaction.
His frown cleared. “Yes, rest…” He trailed off, surveying her blandly and not giving anything away. “Lie with me then; let us sleep a while. Afterwards, we can finish with it all.”
His eyes closed, and he turned onto his side. Helaena waited a moment, sheer relief coursing through her. She knew she could not delay the inevitable, but at least she could exert a certain amount of control over the situation. She suspected that Aegon may have been harbouring his own feelings of trepidation, but such a thing was unlikely ever to be discussed. He would see it as admitting to weakness.
She lay down next to her brother— now her husband. The weight of her nightgown and robe hindered her movements slightly. Nevertheless, she was glad to be dressed. She observed the flickering of a candle on the nightstand beside the bed, allowing the dancing of the flame to calm her. When Aegon placed a proprietary arm across her body, she tried not to flinch. He was still slumbering, his breathing steady and deep. His touch was something she would have to become accustomed to.
Finally, Helaena fell into unconsciousness. In her dream, she mounted Dreamfyre, and they flew far away, never to return. Anguish rose inside her as she recognised that she was not awake and that what she imagined could not be reality. Often, she was lucid while asleep and able to choose the outcome of her subconscious wanderings, but that was not the case on this occasion. She was suddenly aware of a presence chasing her down amongst the heavy grey clouds. It was Aegon. He had followed her on Sunfyre, the triumphant golden presence constantly reminding her that she had become her brother’s property.
Helaena forced herself to wake. Glancing towards the window, she saw that it was still dark outside. The candles were burning low. There was enough light remaining to see that her husband continued to doze. She faced away from him again, willing herself not to drift off once more. It was too heartbreaking to dream of a freedom she would likely never experience.