Work Text:
Summer 1937
The kitchen back-door was opened and shut in an abrupt manner as Tristan came racing through, in a panic. Audrey - folding laundry at the table - asked him: "what's up with you?!"
"Umm, Mrs Hall, Siegfried's not here, is he?"
"Why, do you want him for something?"
"No!" Tristan said abruptly.
Audrey blinked: "then why did you ask?"
"I need him to not be here for a moment. I had forgotten to get him a birthday present for tomorrow, and I've only just managed to get something...before the shops shut. I need to wrap it and hide it before he sees..." Tristan looked furtively around the kitchen.
"What are you looking for? Paper? Some ribbon?"
"How did you know, Mrs H?"
"Well, because you said you need to wrap a present!"
"Right. I don't suppose you have any, do you?"
"Sit yourself down and drink this tea", she sighed, as she pointed to the freshly brewed teapot on the table. “Pour me one while you're at it, please, and I'll fetch me paper and ribbon."
Tristan got out the brass bookend out of his satchel and placed it on the table. He looked at it, chewing his bottom lip.
Audrey walked back, brandishing a roll of brown parcel paper and tapped Tristan lightly on the head with it.
"Here you go, Tris! Oh, is this the gift?" Audrey looked at the tarnished brass bookend, and tilted her head to the side.
"It's a stupid gift isn't it?" Tristan sighed. "I ran out of time, I saw this in the junk shop down the road, saw it was a horse-and-cart and thought to myself ‘well Siegfried likes brass animal ornaments, maybe it could be useful?"’ He shrugged his shoulders and threw his arms up in resignation.
"Well, I think it's lovely idea, he is a vet after all, very fitting. But, I don’t think you can give it him like that, it needs a polish. Give it here, I'll do it, you can drink your tea, and then you can wrap it.” Audrey smirked at Tristan as she lifted the bookend to her sewing table in the corner, and fetched a cloth and some polish.
**
The next morning, after breakfast, Audrey, James and Tristan accosted Siegfried in the sitting room, as he was in there looking for his pipe. "Happy birthday!" they all cheered and Audrey advised there would be a cake ready for them all to eat that evening. James had bought Siegfried a bottle of Scotch whiskey. Audrey had bought him a new tie and matching handkerchief.
Tristan now handed his brother his gift. Siegfried took it and said "oh, that's heavy, I wonder what it could be?!" He opened it, passed the wrapping paper to Audrey and lifted the bookend up to inspect it.
"A bookend? How lovely, thank you Tristan. It will be useful to prop these books up on this shelf, here, this one keeps falling over, look!” He smiled and walked over to the bookshelf and placed the bookend to the left of a row of his books. “There! Thank you for this donkey, he looks happy there!”
"Umm, Siegfried, that's not a donkey, it's a horse and cart! Because you like horses the most! That's why I bought it..." Tristan insisted. He rolled his eyes mockingly at his 'stupid' older brother.
Siegfried bent his knees and tilted his head to the side, looking at Tristan with humorously narrowed eyes, before he looked at the ornament on the shelf.
"Hmm, no little brother, look closer! If you can't identify a horse from a donkey, then God help us all! Look, it has long donkey ears, much larger ears than a horse’s, and a shorter face! Oh and the dorsal stripe on his back, and a short tail!" He tapped the brass tail repeatedly to make his point but then caught Mrs Hall's gaze and softened. His fluttered his eyes, and said to Tristan: "well, whatever it is, Horse, Donkey, Mule, I like it, and it looks rather fine there on the shelf, thank you for thinking of me."
Tristan explained: "Ah, I panicked, and I'm terrible at gifts, and I saw this and thought you could use it to keep these books in order, this shelf is getting out of hand. Perhaps when I'm back at college and you see this…well, I suppose it will make you think of your donkey of a little brother!" He shrugged at Siegfried with a cheeky grin.
"Ah, um, yes, well perhaps I will, little brother. Thank you! Well now, today is a busy day, I'm off to Sebright-Saunders' this morning. James also has a full list. If you, Tristan, could stocktake the dispensary, I'll be grateful."
Siegfried patted Tristan on the shoulder and walked into the hallway to fetch his bag and coat.
James elbowed Tristan and asked under his breath: "you did know it wasn't a horse, right?"
"Yes, of course, I...well no, James, I bought it in a blind panic and did not look at it very closely."
"Oh well", said James, "at least he took it well".
"Right, Mrs Hall, I'm off to Rudds, and I probably won't be back until tea-time as I have other calls to make", Siegfried called out from the corridor.
"Oh and Tristan, if you think I'm an ass, please tell me to my face, next time! There's no need to go to the trouble of getting me a figurine of one to imply it instead!" Siegfried said this with mischief in his voice. He jovially pulled on his coat and walked over to the sitting room door where Tristan, James and Audrey were still stood. Siegfried laughed at his own ass joke, and patted Tristan on the shoulder again. “Thanks again, Tristan, I needed the laugh! It will do just fine on that shelf!”
With a cheeky smile to all three of them, Siegfried bade goodbye and walked out the front door.
Spring 1941
Audrey needed a break: the boys were at war, Mr Farnon was constantly in the fields, and Audrey was getting cabin fever. She had agreed with Siegfried to take the day off, she would get the bus to Brawton to browse the shops, and replenish her hosiery supply with her latest batch of coupons, and she was also on the lookout for a new wicker basket to replace her picnic one which had fallen apart.
After browsing the clothing boutiques, and having a refreshing cup of tea in the local tea room, Audrey passed a Bric-a-brac shop. She saw a pile of wicker baskets through the window, so she turned into the shop.
She selected a basket, and proceeded to walk slowly around the remaining shelves to see what treasures she might find. Something made of brass caught her eye, it looked familiar. She saw a matching bookend of the donkey that they had back in Skeldale; she wondered for a minute if Siegfried had got rid of his and donated it, but she realised it is a mirrored pair, the donkey and cart facing the other way, it would be the bookend that goes on the right of the shelf. It was a bit more tarnished than theirs, but she couldn't resist buying it. She thought for a moment, smiling. She would buy it, polish it up, place it on the other end of the row of books, and say nothing to anyone. She wanted to see how long it took to be noticed.
**
Siegfried was humming a song to himself three days later, sitting down in armchair at a ninety degree angle to the book snug. He took his time lighting his pipe, and savouring a moment to puff away as a self-given reward for a solid day of lambing. As he puffed, he talked to Mrs Hall about their days. She listened and talked as she rewound a ball of wool.
Siegfried suddenly remembered about needing to look something up: "have you seen my reference book, Mrs Hall the green one?"
"If I have, It'll be on your shelf, I assume."
"Right-o!”
Siegfried finished his pipe, set it down, and walked over to the shelf. Now he was standing on the spot and slowly twisting from side to side and rolling his shoulders to ease his back muscles, then moving onto doing strange moves that amused Audrey as he tried to shake off the aches of the day, as he faced the books on the shelves. He had stopped stretching and jiggling now, and let out a cough. Concentration now consumed his face. He looked from left to right, noting with a smile the left donkey bookend, scanning across the many green books for his refence book.
His eyes reached the right of the shelf, and he frowned and folded one arm to his stomach and the other arm pointing up to his face, where his thumb and forefinger placed in a "shhhh!" pose. He was now in deep concentration.
Audrey observed as his face drew level with the right-hand bookend. "Huh!". "Hmmmmmm!" Siegfried muttered under his breath. He stroked the donkey's head and noticed it was newly polished, and a perfect mirror for the left one. But he said nothing more. Audrey thought he must have assumed they’d always had it. She lowered her gaze to check she hadn’t just dropped a stitch from her knitting.
Unseen to Audrey, Siegfried’s eyes narrow in suspicion at the bookend; Tristan had only bought him one bookend, as the shop did not have the other in stock, it was from a junk shop after all. Plus, despite being usually chaotic and messy, Siegfried was certain that the right side of the books had been previously penned into their upright formation by a copper candlestick holder, which he was sure he saw the other day.
Siegfried found his book on the shelf below and walked over to his armchair, leafing through to the index to find his required chapter number. He sank into his chair and smiled at Audrey before putting on his glasses and burying his nose into the book. "Aha!" he said, prodding the paragraph he needed several times and reaching for a pencil from his jacket pocket. He made some notes on a slip of paper and then decidedly folded the paper and placed it onto the side table next to his teacup.
Audrey was still knitting and listening to the wireless; gentle soothing brass music filled the air. Satisfied that he had found the information he needed, Siegfried allowed himself to sink back into the chair. He began to tap his foot to the music, his hands placed on his knees, also tapping in time to the music. His eyes lazily scanned the room, looking at the potted plant on the sideboard, looking at the pictures on the wall, and then, on the cabinet behind Audrey was the copper candlestick! His eyes narrowed with mischievous suspicion again. Recently James and Tristan were away, Carmody was always working or reading, and Helen had her arms full with Jimmy, so unlikely to have been anywhere near a shop recently. Siegfried then remembered that Audrey had run some errands a few days prior.
"Mrs Hall, I never asked you if your trip to Brawton the other day was successful, I am sorry. Did you find a replacement basket that you wanted?"
“I did, thank you, Mr Farnon. it were nice to look around and get out of Darrowby for a bit.” She carried on knitting.
"Did you...find anything else while browsing?"
"Yes, I found a nice compact mirror from a bric-a-brac store, for me handbag. Me other one broke."
"Ah!" nodded Siegfried. It's been a while since I had a good browse of a shop, Mrs Hall. Other than going to Woods to buy my usual tobacco, I don't think I can remember the last time I went to a shop.”
He paused for a moment, before a memory came flooding to his mind, and he found himself sharing it with Audrey: “Though I daresay I'm a bit of a liability, last time I was in an antique store I somehow managed to knock over a display containing ornaments, I had to pay for three of them that broke, Evelyn was embarrassed. I think the ornaments were ceramic sheep and shepherdesses, if I recall…”
He lifted his spectacles from his face, to his mouth, and rested the tip of one of the arms into his mouth, in thought.
“… and I remember joking with the shopkeeper something like "oh dear, I seem to have decapitated this sheep... don't worry, I'll buy it, and glue it back together, I'm a vet, you know! I promise I know how to look after real animals.” And then as I had paid and left the shop, I sneezed and the paper bag containing the broken pieces fell to the floor and Evelyn lost her patience with me and told me I'm a clumsy donkey, in front of passers-by. It should have been funny, but I think I embarrassed her.”
“Did you mend the sheep?”
“No, by the time I got it home it was all practically shards and dust. I've not been in such a shop since, because it's true, I am a somewhat a ‘bull in a china shop’. He cringed at the memory.
“I was always embarrassing her like that, putting my foot in it, being clumsy, unintentionally stressing her out. I think she loved me in general, but I think I was...umm...a bit hard work, clumsy with things and with remembering things, and sometimes I would put my foot in my mouth at the wrong times. It's probably why I avoid …why I haven’t let any of the women I meet...get close. I'm a liability.” He was frowning now.
Audrey didn’t know what to say.
Siegfried continued, looking at his knees rather than Audrey: “Silly really, I loved Evelyn very much, I really did, I still do, but I sometimes think what a disappointment I must have been to her.” His voice faltered suddenly, and he prodded his chin with the end of one of the arms of his spectacles, in some form of micro self-punishment.
Audrey put her knitting down and clasped her own hands in her lap, sitting opposite him.
“Mr Farnon, I'm sure while you may have had your ...moments of clumsiness...and eccentricities, I'm sure most of the time you were a lovely husband. Don't look at me like that, like you don’t believe me, because I’m telling the truth!”
She continued, desperate to make him see he was worthy and good:
“Tell me, did you love her unconditionally?”
Siegfried nodded.
“Right, and did you provide her with a loving and safe home?”
Siegfried nodded and so did Audrey.
“Good, and did you give her freedom to explore her hobbies, meet up with friends, have money of her own to spend, etc?”
Siegfried nodded.
“Great! and if she needed your comfort, were you there for her?”
Siegfried nodded again.
“And did you make her laugh and feel special and cherished?”
Siegfried wordlessly exhaled: ”yes. I think I did.”
“Well there you go, you can't have been a disappointment!” Audrey’s ice blue eyes fixed a glare on Siegfried, insisting him to listen. Siegfried fixed his eyes on hers.
Audrey continued, floodgates open now: “It's not like you came home drunk and threw plates about, shouting at the young boy in the house and telling him he’s a waste of space and that you'd rather have more money in your pocket for drink than have to pay for the boy’s food. HIS own boy, might I add!”
Audrey was in a flow now, finally telling Siegfried some details of her past life: “And it's not like you isolated her from her friends, making it difficult for her friends to help her, is it, Mr Farnon? And I bet you didn't mock her for going to church, and I bet you didn't come home calling her unholy names in front of Tris, hmmm?"
Audrey was earnestly glaring at him now, arms folded across her waist.
Her voice went grave now: “and…you never hit her, I'm sure.”
“Never!” Siegfried proclaimed, his heart breaking at what he was hearing.
Softly now, Audrey concluded: "Well, there you are then, I wholeheartedly believe she must have loved you, and perhaps only got exasperated when things were busy and you'd done something daft. You're a good man, Mr Farnon, and it's about time you let yourself believe it. I understand you've had your struggles with the war, Tris, losing Evelyn, but you've come out the other end in one piece, and you make a difference to this village every day. I promise you, you're a good man!”
Silence rang for a few moments.
“Mrs Hall, I...I never wanted to pry, I know you had your completely valid reasons for leaving Mr Hall and it was not my place to press you for details, but I am truly sorry you had to experience all of that." Siegfried wrang his own hands in his lap now, unsure how to offer comfort to Audrey.
Audrey puffed out her cheeks and then took a deep breath: “It’s in the past and I try to forget it now, I've divorced him, and it's over.”
“I'm glad you came to Skeldale. I shouldn't have required someone else to lift me out of my state, but truth be told I was drinking and heading for danger, and you helped me out of it. I'm very glad you're here, but I do regret very much that you had to help another man with a drinking problem after being so utterly abused. I am ashamed, Mrs Hall. It should never have been something you had to deal with, and if I have ever made you feel unsafe, you must tell me, and I must try to make up for it."
"You’ve never made me feel unsafe, Mr Farnon. You and he are not the same, you were grieving, in pain, and yes you might have had arguments with Tris and a temper, but it was never directed at me, and you were trying to deal with it all whilst still working overtime, serving people, helping people. All Robert did were spend the day and early evening in the pub, come home for his tea which he expected me to make after my full day at work keeping house for the Parson down the road, and take his war-pain out on me and Edward, but mostly me. It were Dorothy who helped me get away.”
“I'm sorry, Mrs Hall, I really am. You really deserve to live a long and happy life, being cherished. I hope someday that will be your reality.”
“Well I am happy now, I'm happy I stayed. This is my home.” She seemed resolute.
Siegfried got up and walked back to the shelves, and pointed to the right-hand bookend: "It was you, wasn't it, Mrs Hall? This donkey, I don't recall Tristan buying its twin..." he raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"Aye, I admit, it were me. I found it in Brawton, in one of those bric-a-brac shops. At first, I thought you'd somehow got rid of it and sold it. But then I thought, you've been nowhere near the shops as you've been knees-to-the-grass on those fields with the lambing. And I realised it needed to come home to Skeldale with me.” She looked at him with a wry smile as she walked over to it and jokingly patted the donkey on the head.
"Yes, well thank you. I must allow myself a little pat on the back for my detection, Mrs H, you see, that copper candlestick over there, was here the other day. I know, because despite what many people think, I can...sometimes...occasionally... be perceptive!” He smirked and blushed and patted the donkey also. “He can stay! Perhaps we should name them. What do you think?”
Audrey blinked in thought: “oh I don't know, what are good names for donkeys?”
“Bernard? Reginald?” Siegfried uttered.
“Donald?” Audrey ventured.
“Oiii, Mrs H, that's my middle name, are you saying I'm a donkey?”
“Maybe! Well, let's have a think about it. Anyway, it's time I checked on that stew, it must be nearly ready to serve.”
Siegfried was still standing by the bookshelf, his fingers gently grazing the back of the new brass donkey bookend.
“You know, Mrs Hall, I think I've got it, I think this one is called Donald after all. And the one Tris bought, he can be Sebastian, his middle name. That way, these bookends can serve as a Skeldale joke, we're your two silly donkeys!” He grinned.
Audrey's blue eyes met his, with amusement. "Alright, but you said it, not me, that you two are donkeys…”
She walked away to the kitchen, Siegfried in tow, almost skipping as he said: "well, Mrs H, it's only fair, you've put up with us two donkeys butting our heads together for quite some time!"
Audrey laughed in agreement. "Siegfried?"
"Hmmm?" he asked, as they walked through the breezeway.
"Could you call me Audrey, when it's just us Skeldale folk, in the house? Now that I'm divorced I don't really wish to be referred to by me ex-husband's name. I want to detach myself from it. I know I must use it out there", she said, pointing outside, "but here, in my home, with my friends, I'd love it if you called me Audrey. This is me, trying to move forward with my life."
Siegfried blinked and smiled. "Of course, Audrey. Of course. Quite right!”
As he took his seat at the kitchen table and Audrey began decanting the steaming stew into bowls in front of him, their gaze met and both hearts were hoping that she'd soon have a new surname to cherish. After the several weeks since Christmas and the 'Remarkable' speech, it was becoming increasingly hard to hide their feelings from one another.
"And you can call me Siegfried", Siegfried offered in return. “Really, Mr Farnon was my father's name!" he blushed and fidgeted with his soup spoon on the napkin set before him.
"As you wish, Siegfried." Her smile was all consuming.
"Lovely stew!"
"Thank you!"
"Umm, Audrey, how long were you going to avoid mention of the bookend, were you waiting to see if I'd notice? Does Helen know about this? Carmody?"
"I didn't tell anyone. I polished it and placed it there three days ago, a game for myself to see how long before anyone noticed. I had bet myself you'd notice in about sixth months’ time!"
"You cheeky madam!" Siegfried joked, with a tone of mock incredulousness in his voice.
"You did better than I thought, I'll admit!"
Siegfried blew on his stew on the spoon and ate it. He murmured hearty satisfaction at the taste.
"Do you always conduct experiments on me like this?" he asked, as he eagerly placed some buttered bread into the stew bowl and lifted it to his mouth.
"Sometimes..." Audrey winked, earning her a hearty chuckle as Siegfried chewed his bread. He next reached for his glass of water and took a sip, before playfully rolling his eyes and tutting.
"Oh Audrey, as long as I provide you some modicum of amusement, I suppose I should take that as a win!"
"Ohhhh, you amuse me greatly, most of the time", she said as she lowered her spoon into her bowl to collect some stew. "You may think you're a ridiculous donkey, Siegfried Donald Farnon, but you are a loyal, lovely person and despite your bluster you are genuinely the kindest man I know."
"Well, that's very kind of you to say.” Siegfried lowered his gaze to he stew for a moment and he took a moment to summon up some courage. “You know, Mrs ...umm Audrey, I was wondering, tomorrow, after the lambing, Carmody can be on-call, I was wondering if you would like to go for a nice walk near the stream with Jess and Dash. It's been ages since I walked that route, and in truth ages since I took the dogs out properly, and I should really like some company... your company... if…that would be agreeable? We could eat when we get back, toast would be fine, rather than you making a full dinner..."
"I'd like that, Siegfried. Perhaps I can make us some sandwiches and bring an ale each; there's a lovely bench near the stream where I sometimes sit to think or read letters. There's a lovely view, perhaps it would be nice to sit there, for a bit?"
"Wonderful. I look forward to it!"
**
The next evening the golden-hour sunlight lit their faces as they sat on the bench by the stream, a cool breeze playing at their hair. The pair were sat happily on the bench, a wicker picnic basket between them. Siegfried swigged a little of his ale from the bottle, and then set the bottle down to his other side.
He now gratefully ate one of the sandwiches Audrey had brought, and he looked out at the view, with a satisfied mood, a mood earned from a day's job well done. Audrey was looking out to the horizon, watching birds swooping, clouds gliding, and the sky preparing for sunset. They sat for a bit in companionable silence after previously having exchanged stories about their day.
Butterflies fluttered in both their stomachs, as they each looked straight ahead at the breath-taking view. After finishing the sandwiches and finishing the ales, Audrey collected their bottles and napkins and placed them into the basket, which she then placed on the floor at her feet. She threw some remnants of bread away for the dogs to 'hunt'.
Audrey placed her hands to her sides, flat on the bench seat, her breath hitching in her chest. Siegfried did the same, their hands flat on the bench about two hands widths apart. Each could see how the other was sat. Siegfried looked down at their hands and then dared himself to look sideways at Audrey, who was still gazing at the horizon. The sun warmed her face with a peachy -gold tone, showing off her slender neck, lovely jaw line and beautiful side profile. Even her brunette curls were cherished by the sun’s warm glow. Siegfried noticed her face blush, she had sensed he was staring at her.
Barely breathing now, Audrey looked down at their separate hands, and then sideways up at him, catching him in the act of admiring her with his sincere brown eyes. She blinked slowly at him as though she was a bird hovering in the same spot in mid-air. She looked down at their parted hands again, staring at them and blushing before looking up at his eyes again. Taking the hint, Siegfried's hand trembled towards hers and gently covered it, curling over hers until she manoeuvred hers to hold his properly. He gave hers a squeeze, before he lifted their hands to his lips and rotated them so he could kiss the top of her hand. He made sure his kiss was a lingering one, his eyes shut intently. He then opened his eyes, and uttered "Oh Audrey!"
In a moment which felt like no time had passed, he had released her hand and his hand traced her cheek gently. "Audrey, may I...ki-" and before he could finish his plea, Audrey had turned in her seat to him and pressed her lips longingly to his. They kissed for several minutes whilst the dogs chased each other around the bench, encircling them with woofs of joy.
“Siegfried”, Audrey panted, after the sun had begun to set, "we missed the sunset..."
"So bloody what, I was otherwise occupied, I'm very happy to say!" he chuckled.
Audrey grinned, and playfully pushed her hand against his chest.
"Audrey, I really rather love you." he said, finally feeling brave. "And I know I can be...a bit of a ridiculous creature, a donkey perhaps, but I truly love you with all my heart. And I want to offer you everything I have. Skeldale isn't what it is without you, and I would love for it to be your home, your happy home, forever."
"Siegfried, ...I... are you asking me to..?”
"I'm asking you to marry me, Audrey!" he said, gulping in anticipation.
"I cannot think of anything I would rather do, Siegfried. I would love to marry you! I..." she burst into tears and buried her head against his shoulder.
Siegfried held her close, both still seated, and whispered into her hair: "I am so happy, Audrey. Remarkable woman!"
"Darling boy!" Audrey cried into his shoulder.
After a few moments once the crying had subsided, Siegfried whispered: "Shall we beckon the dogs and walk home? There's a sherry each at home with our names on!"
Audrey nodded and picked up the wicker basket. Siegfried wolf-whistled to the dogs, and then called to them: "Last dog home is a rotten egg!" and he chuckled as he linked arms with Audrey, to begin walking home.
The end.