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When Katsuki agrees to spar with Kirishima, the last thing he expects is an intervention.
It’s supposed to just be the two of them—a chance for Katsuki to release some of the anger that’s been building up in him all summer. Instead, half of Class 2-A is waiting at the park.
Katsuki takes one look at them all and turns around to leave. Whatever the hell is going on, he’s got no interest in being a part of it.
“Woah, hold on a second, man,” Kirishima grabs his arm.
Katsuki rounds on him, “What the hell is this, Shitty Hair?”
He’s told Kirishima he’s not into these class social events, or whatever the hell this is. Katsuki’s got a limited number of people in the class that he tolerates, and a good number of people around him now are not on that list.
The half-and-half bastard, Todoroki, takes a step forward. He’s a prime example of someone Katsuki would rather avoid, “We just want to talk.”
Katsuki scoffs disdainfully, “When have I ever wanted to talk to you, Icy-Hot?”
“C’mon, don’t be like that, man,” Kirishima pats his shoulder. Katsuki immediately shrugs him off.
“We knew you wouldn’t show up unless some trickery was involved,” Ashido adds, grinning wickedly at Katsuki. “But now that you’re here, might as well hear us out, right?”
“Like hell,” Katsuki growls, tugging his arm out of Kirishima’s grip. “I’ve got better things to do than get involved in whatever you extras are up to.”
Round Face’s voice carries over the rest, “It’s about Deku.”
Katsuki freezes.
Stupid fucking Izuku. His face flashes in Katsuki’s head in nauseatingly perfect detail—the big green eyes, the wide smile, the freckles across his cheeks. The damn nerd. Katsuki hates that Izuku can be a million miles away and still have such an effect on him.
“What about him, Round Face?” Katsuki asks slowly, glaring hard at Ururaka.
She doesn’t flinch, “We were hoping you’d be able to tell us. He hasn’t been answering any of our calls. No one’s heard anything from him all summer. We just want to know that he’s okay.”
Part of Katsuki is surprised. He figured Izuku would be in touch with Round Face, if no one else. Another part of him is slightly relieved. At least he’s not the only one Izuku’s been icing out.
"I told you idiots already,” Katsuki says. “He’s on vacation. Traveling around Europe or something. Probably doesn’t have cell service.”
Todoroki frowns, tilting his head. “What do you mean by ‘probably?’”
Katsuki realizes his mistake a second too late.
“Oh my god!” Kaminari shouts. His eyes are comically large. “Holy shit. Midoriya’s not talking to you, either!”
Katsuki takes a menacing step forward, “You wanna die, Dunce Face?”
Kaminari yelps in alarm and hides behind Jirou.
“Is that true, Bakugo?” Iida questions, narrowing his eyes. “You haven’t heard from Midoriya either?”
They’re all staring at him in disbelief, like it’s Katsuki’s job to know where Izuku’s at. And yeah, maybe Katsuki and Izuku were inseparable for a while after the war. Maybe Katsuki did try to keep tabs on Izuku’s whereabouts for a little, because he’d get all anxious and stressed in a way that was totally unlike him if he wasn’t sure that the stupid nerd was safe. That didn’t mean Katsuki and Izuku were joined at the hip. That didn’t mean they told each other everything.
“Are you deaf and blind, Four-Eyes?” Katsuki narrows his eyes, speaking through clenched teeth. “I just said he probably doesn’t have service. How the hell would I be in touch with him?”
The class breaks into mutters. Ururaka looks worried as she whispers something to Four-Eyes and the frog girl, Asui. Icy-Hot is still staring at Katsuki, something unreadable in his eyes. Is it…pity? If it is, Katsuki’s going to have to blow up his face.
He raises his voice to be heard over the whispers, “Anyone want to tell me what the hell this is about?”
Asui steps forward, “We’re worried about Deku. It’s not like him to be so distant.”
“Yeah,” Ururaka agrees, her eyes on the ground. “Even when he went out on his own, he left us letters. I thought he’d at least let someone know what he was up to, even if it wasn’t me, but when I asked the class, we found out that no one’s heard anything. We all thought he’d at least be talking to you, but…”
She trails off. Clearly, Katsuki’s weak lies about phone service aren’t fooling anyone. They all know the truth—if Izuku wanted to get in touch with them, he would.
“He’s in touch with his mom,” Katsuki admits. “And All Might. So he’s not dead, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
It hurts Katsuki’s pride to admit to his lie. It hurts even more to admit that Izuku isn’t actually radio silent. He’s just not talking to Katsuki.
Katsuki would never admit it, but after Izuku first disappeared, he’d been pretty desperate. He’d looked everywhere, afraid that someone had come after Izuku. It was only when All Might was forced to stop him from filing a missing person report that he found out Izuku had gone on vacation.
The news hit him harder than he expected. The fact that Izuku didn’t even bother to tell Katsuki he was leaving… Did Izuku not think he’d be worried? Did he just not care how Katsuki felt? Izuku had always told him stuff like that before, like when he’d left UA during their first year. Why did he stop now? Had Katsuki done something to make him angry?
Katsuki hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it since Izuku left, and at this point, he feels like he’s going insane. But that’s something his stupid classmates can never know.
“But don’t you think it’s weird—” Dunce Face starts.
“No,” Katsuki cuts him off. “It’s none of my business what Izuku wants to do with his life.”
He clams his mouth shut and refuses to answer any more of their questions.
Katsuki hopes the business with Izuku is over after that, but just a few days later, the half-and-half bastard is knocking at his door.
“Katsuki!” His mom shouts from downstairs, like Katsuki hasn’t already heard the knock. “You have a visitor.”
“Yeah, gimme a second,” he calls back. He’s almost beaten the boss villain in this new hero game Sero’s put him on.
“Katsuki!”
“Gimme a second, you old hag,” he screams.
“You shouldn’t talk to your mom that way, Bakugo.”
Katsuki glances up at Todoroki, who is standing in his doorway. In his half-second of distraction, his hero gets cut in half by the villain’s slashes. A big Game Over flashes across the screen.
“Goddammit,” Katsuki swears loudly. “You fucked me over, Icy-Hot.”
“Sorry,” the bastard doesn’t look very apologetic. He’s wearing that stupid blank expression he’s always got pasted across his face.
Katsuki sets aside his controller, “What the hell are you doing in my house? Don’t tell me you’re stalking me.”
“I asked Sero for the address,” Todoroki answers. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Katsuki knows what’s coming before it does. Todoroki is just too damn predictable.
“It’s about Midoriya.”
Because of course it is. Katsuki can never escape the stupid fucking nerd.
Katsuki opens his mouth to kick the half-and-half bastard out of his house, but Icy-Hot is still talking,
“I think we should go after him.”
Okay, that’s unexpected.
“Or, you should go after him,” Todoroki amends. “But I’ll come with you. As your friend.”
For a second, Katsuki’s at a loss. Because what the hell? Who does this bastard think he is, barging into Katsuki’s with such a stupid fucking plan? Does he really think Katsuki’s going to drop everything and chase Izuku across the ocean?
“We’re not friends,” Katsuki starts. “And why the hell would I go after him? Didn’t I just tell you guys he’s not in trouble? He’s on vacation, for fuck’s sake, and he’s probably just ignoring you all because you’re clingy as shit.”
“He’s ignoring you, too,” Todoroki points out. Katsuki has to resist the urge to punch him in the face. “Are you saying you’re too clingy too, Bakugo?”
Katsuki tenses, balling his hands into fists as he hisses, “What did you say to me, you bastard?!”
Todoroki just stares, “You said he’s ignoring us because we’re clingy, but he’s also ignoring you. Does that mean you’re clingy too, or is there another reason he’s refusing to speak to you?”
Katsuki’s good hand crackles with explosions, “I swear to god, Icy-Hot, I am this close to murdering you.”
Truthfully, Katsuki’s not sure about the answer to Todoroki’s question. It’s true that since they got out of the hospital, he hasn’t given Izuku much space. He’s been plagued by a constant need to see Izuku, to prove to himself that Izuku is alive and healthy and not in danger. Katsuki secretly worries that Izuku ran away because he couldn’t figure out a polite way to tell Katsuki to fuck off and give him space.
“Because we were talking,” Todoroki’s still talking, totally ignoring the fact that Katsuki has just threatened his life. “And some of us are worried Midoriya might not come back.”
Katsuki blinks, “Huh?”
“He’s been pulling away ever since he lost his quirk,” Todoroki says. “Now he’s halfway around the world.” He hesitates and Katsuki spots a troubled look in his eyes. “What if he doesn’t come back to UA next year?”
Katsuki scoffs, “That’s bullshit. He loves our stupid school. Why wouldn’t he want to come back?”
“Maybe for the same reason Aoyama decided to give up his spot,” Todoroki replies. “Midoriya might not think he deserves it.”
Katsuki stares.
“But—” Katsuki starts to protest. “He still has the embers of One For All. And he’s the world’s greatest hero now.”
His words fall flat, because honestly, Icy-Hot’s worries have been bouncing around inside of Katsuki’s head all summer. Katsuki knows Izuku. Better than anyone. And he knows Izuku’s exactly the type of self-deprecating, altruistic person to think they’d all be better off without him.
“Yeah, but he’s also Midoriya,” Todoroki answers evenly. “He’s never going to see himself the way we do.”
Katsuki hates to admit it, but Icy-Hot might have a point.
“So…what?” He asks. “You want us to chase Izuku down and drag him home?”
“I mean, persuading would probably work better than dragging,” Todoroki says. “But yeah. That’s my plan.”
“It’s a stupid plan,” Katsuki can’t meet Todoroki’s eyes. “If Izuku wanted us to come, he would have told us where he was going.”
He can feel Todoroki’s turquoise and grey eyes studying him. Katsuki tries not to let his face betray anything besides annoyance.
“We can find out where he is from All Might,” Todoroki is still eyeing Katsuki carefully. “Is that why you haven’t gone looking already? Because you’re scared he doesn’t want to see you?”
“What the fuck?! Of course that’s not why,” Katsuki snaps at him. “Since when is it my job to chase that damn nerd across the ocean?”
There’s a silence. Finally, Todoroki lets out a sigh, “Alright, fine. It would have been better if you were there, but I get it. If you’re giving up on convincing him to stay, I’ll go by myself.”
Katsuki isn’t an idiot. He knows Icy-Hot’s trying to provoke him and he’s fully ready to beat the bastard up for daring to think it’ll work. The problem is, that would be a self-serving thing to do, and this isn’t about Katsuki.
“Like hell you will,” Katsuki says, because for Izuku, he can swallow his pride. “If anyone’s gonna get that damn nerd to see sense, it’s me.”
That’s how Katsuki finds himself back in Otheon, lugging around a backpack as he trails after the half-and-half bastard. They’re in the outskirts of the city, where the houses are beginning to get smaller.
Todoroki studies his map, “It should be just down this street, on the right.”
It hadn’t taken a ton of convincing to get All Might to share Izuku’s travel details with Katsuki. He gave Katsuki the address of the place Izuku’s staying at nearly right away. Katsuki figures it’s because All Might is worried about Izuku, too.
“Would it be helpful if I came along?” Todoroki asks, glancing at Katsuki.
Katsuki shakes his head. They’ve already decided that Katsuki’s the best person to talk to Izuku. Talking isn’t really Katsuki’s forte, but he does have the longest history with Izuku. Besides, Icy-Hot is constantly reminding Katsuki of how he was the only one who could talk Izuku down the last time he’d taken off on his own.
“Nah, I got this,” he says with more confidence than he feels. “You’d just be getting in the way.”
“Alright,” Todoroki shrugs amiably. “Good luck, then. You’ve got my number if you need anything.”
“I won’t,” Katsuki says to his back.
Todoroki heads back the way he came, leaving Katsuki alone. Katsuki walks down the block to the house Icy-Hot has directed him to. House isn’t the right word for it. It’s more like an old, broken-down trailer. Izuku’s staying here? It doesn’t seem safe, but maybe he’s trying to save money or something.
Katsuki hesitates. Now that he’s here, he can’t help but feel a little tense. He pushes the feeling away with some irritation. This is Izuku. What the hell kind of reason does he have to be on edge?
He steps closer. The door is cracked open to let in a breeze, and from inside, Katsuki hears a peal of laughter.
He knows that laugh.
Peering through the crack, Katsuki spots Izuku sitting at a table opposite that brown-haired delinquent from the Humarise attacks. He’s laughing hard enough to clutch his stomach, eyes squeezed shut and mouth open in a smile so bright Katsuki can’t look straight at him. He looks so happy. Happier than he has in months.
Reality stabs through Katsuki’s chest like a knife.
Coming here was a mistake.
Katsuki had believed he was coming to convince a lost, forlorn Izuku that he still had a place with Katsuki, with the rest of his friends. But Izuku isn’t bereft or lonely. He doesn’t need Katsuki’s rescuing. He’s happy. So much happier here than back in Japan, in the months since he lost his quirk.
So much happier without Katsuki.
Katsuki takes a step away, ignoring the ache in his chest. He’ll regroup with Icy-Hot, tell the bastard they were wrong to worry about Izuku, and then the both of them can go home. No one will ever need to know about the half-and-half bastard’s stupid, stupid plan. No one will ever find out that Todoroki actually managed to drag Katsuki along with him.
Katsuki is just about to turn away when his phone rings. He fumbles to decline the call from that Icy-Hot bastard, but it’s too late. His All Might-themed ringtone fills the air, and suddenly Izuku’s spinning around and staring right at Katsuki.
A second later, Izuku is throwing open the door, his eyes wide with surprise, “Kacchan! What are you doing here?”
Izuku is staring like he can’t believe Katsuki is really there. His eyes are so wide and green and seeing his familiar face is so much more of a relief than Katsuki thought it would be. But it wasn’t supposed to happen like this, and Katsuki doesn’t know what to do.
He panics.
“Hero work,” he lies through his teeth. “The safety commission sent Icy-Hot and I back here to make sure Humarise is really gone. I thought I’d stop by the delinquent’s house to make sure he hasn’t heard anything.”
There are several holes in his story. Humarise has been pretty thoroughly discredited, to the point where no one will have the following to start it back up. Katsuki also hadn’t known this run-down trailer is the delinquent’s house until five seconds ago. Still, it’s too late to take it back now.
Izuku shoots him an odd look, “Yeah…okay...”
Katsuki knows he doesn’t believe him.
They hover in the doorway for an awkward moment. Izuku’s staring at him with a probing expression. Katsuki’s staring back, looking for some sign that might tell him whether Izuku is happy to see him or wants him gone.
Izuku coughs awkwardly, like he’s just realized he’s been staring. Katsuki watches color fill his cheeks, “You should come in, Kacchan! I’m sure Rody will be happy to answer whatever questions you have.”
“No, I should go,” Katsuki shakes his head. “That half-and-half bastard’s been calling me. Something might have happened.”
“Wait, but—”
Katsuki turns away, calling over his shoulder as gently as he can manage, “Have a nice vacation, Izuku.”
He’s halfway down the street when Izuku comes jogging out after him.
“Kacchan, wait a second!” He exclaims, reaching for Katsuki’s arm. Katsuki lets Izuku pull him to a stop even though it would be too easy to tug away.
“You want Icy-Hot to die, you damn nerd?” Katsuki snapped irritably. “He could be in trouble and you’re slowing me down.”
Izuku ignores this, staring at Katsuki with those green eyes that sometimes seem too big and expressive to be real, “Tell me why you’re really here.”
Katsuki tenses, glancing at the scar that now marks the left side of Izuku’s face. He can’t quite bring himself to meet Izuku’s eyes. He’s afraid that if he does, Izuku will be able to see straight through him.
“I told you,” Katsuki grits his teeth. “Hero work.”
“So…” Izuku suddenly sounds hesitant. “It’s got nothing to do with me being here?”
“What the hell?! Get over yourself,” Katsuki says coldly. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Oh,” Izuku takes a step back, letting go of Katsuki’s arm. He can’t hide the hurt in his eyes. “Okay.”
“But now that you’ve brought it up,” Katsuki pauses. He tries his best to sound casual, but he can’t quite hide the sharp edge from his voice. “Disappearing like that was a pretty shitty thing to do.” He watches Izuku through narrowed eyes. “Did you even think about what it would be like for everybody you left behind?”
“Kacchan, I—” Izuku starts.
But Katsuki’s started releasing all the anger that’s been building inside him for months, and now he can’t stop. It’s pouring out of him, wild and dangerous and out-of-control.
“I looked for you everywhere. I thought maybe you’d gotten attacked, or kidnapped, or killed,” Katsuki’s voice rises. “And then I find out from All Might that you’ve just decided to go on vacation?!” He laughs incredulously. “What the hell, Izuku? You couldn’t even leave a fucking bullshit letter like last time?”
“Kacchan,” Izuku breathes. “I’m so sorry.”
Izuku looks genuinely distraught, but it’s still not an explanation.
“Why do it?” Katsuki asks. “Did I do something to hurt you again? Is it…revenge?”
The words sound wrong as soon as he says them. Izuku is not a vengeful person. Still, Katsuki can’t figure out why Izuku would leave without a word.
Izuku is silent for a long moment. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft enough to blow away in the wind. His words barely carry to Katsuki’s ears, but Katsuki hears them. And he wishes he hadn’t.
“I didn’t think you’d care.”
There’s nothing Katsuki can say to that, so he does the only thing he can. He turns and walks away.
Katsuki doesn’t want to face Icy-Hot and his questions, so he locks himself in his hotel room for the rest of the day. At lunch, he gets room service instead of accompanying Todoroki to some fancy local food place. Afterwards, he lies on his bed and scrolls through his phone, looking for the earliest flights home.
A knock startles Katsuki. He cautiously walks to the door, staring out the peephole. If it’s Icy-Hot, he’ll just have to pretend like he’s not here.
It’s not Todoroki. The boy on the other side of the door has choppy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. Izuku’s delinquent friend, Rody.
Katsuki cracks open the door, “The fuck do you want?”
“Nice to see you again, too,” Rody grins. He’s got an easygoing smile that Katsuki’s immediately suspicious of. “Deku told me you were looking for me?”
Katsuki frowns. Did that mean Izuku had actually bought his lie about hero work? Why else would he send his delinquent friend to Katsuki?
“Nah, I don’t need you anymore,” Katsuki tells him. “Go away.”
He starts to close the door, but Rody wedges his foot in the way just before it closes. Katsuki growls in irritation, resisting the urge to set off an explosion in Rody’s face.
“Hold on a second,” Rody tells him. “I already know you don’t need me, because Humarise is dead and gone and everybody knows it. The real reason I’m here is to ask why you lied to Deku.”
“Fuck off before I kill you, asshole,” Katsuki snarls dangerously, his hand around the doorframe popping with miniature explosions.
The delinquent’s eyes widen, “Dude, you gotta know you can’t talk like that if you’re gonna be a pro hero.”
“I can talk however I want to,” Katsuki retorted. “Now move your fucking foot out of the way before I crush it.”
Rody sighs, “Sure, dude. But can I tell you something first? About Deku?”
Katsuki hesitates. He shouldn’t let this idiot say a word more, but in the end, his curiosity gets the better of him. He pulls the door open slightly, so that he can glare at the delinquent’s face, “You’ve got ten seconds.”
“That’s not enough—”
“Now you’ve got eight.”
“Fine!” Rody lets out an exasperated breath. “He feels really bad about leaving the way he did.”
Katsuki narrows his eyes, “He already told me he was sorry. If that’s all—”
“And he misses you,” Rody adds quickly. “He’s always talking about how great you are. It’s a little annoying, actually.”
Katsuki’s a little touched by that, but he doesn’t let the delinquent see it.
“Yeah, whatever,” he shakes his head. “You’ve got one second—”
“And he’s scared you won’t like him now that he’s quirkless.”
Katsuki freezes. He stares at Rody. The delinquent stares back.
His heart almost feels like it’s twisting in his chest. Even after everything they’ve been through together, the scars of Katsuki’s actions have never fully faded. The things he did to Izuku back when they were kids, the way he’d treated Izuku just because he didn’t have a quirk. It was all still there, an ugly, unavoidable part of their past.
But still, Katsuki had tried so hard to show Izuku that he realized how terrible he’d been. He’d thought after the war that maybe, finally, Izuku was beginning to realize how much Katsuki cared about him.
And then, right as Katsuki started to get comfortable with Izuku’s constant presence, Izuku had disappeared.
“I would never—” Katsuki swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry. “I would never treat him that way. Never again.”
Rody looks surprisingly sympathetic, “Yeah, man. I figured, given how you chased him across the sea. It’s pretty obvious how much you care about him.”
Katsuki’s so lost in his own thoughts and regrets that he can’t even be bothered to refute the delinquent’s claims. He does care about the damn nerd. He cares so much he let the half-and-half bastard talk him into flying across an ocean. That’s a pretty undeniable fact.
“It’s just—” Rody hesitates. “I’m not sure it’s so obvious to him.”
Katsuki wants to protest, because he’s never even been half as close with anyone as he’s become with Izuku. He’s never trusted anyone as much or known anyone as well. He wants to believe that Izuku has noticed, but he also knows that Izuku doesn’t like to trust things unless they’re laid out in front of him. Especially when it comes to Katsuki.
He pulls open the door wide, reaching for his shoes. For the first time since Izuku has disappeared, he knows what he has to do.
Rody tells Katsuki where to find Izuku. Apparently, he’s off touring some park in the city. Katsuki takes a taxi there, tapping his foot anxiously at every red light. He wishes he could jump out and fly with his quirk, but for some stupid reason it’s illegal.
After what feels like forever, the cab finally pulls up in front of the city park. Katsuki jumps out and walks inside, hoping he isn’t too late.
He stares around him as soon as he’s through the gates. Shit. The park is enormous. Katsuki has no clue how he’s supposed to find Izuku in a place like this.
He checks the map, but it’s not much use. Katsuki decides to work his way from left to right. For the second time, he wishes he could use his quirk to shoot up into the sky and look for Izuku, but instead he wanders through hedged paths and twisted trails, keeping his eyes peeled for a familiar head of messy hair.
Katsuki only makes it halfway across the park before a peal of thunder cracks above his head. A minute later, the blue skies are completely covered by clouds, and water is pouring down on Katsuki’s uncovered head.
He curses under his breath as the people around him hurry for shelter. Of course it had to fucking rain. Izuku’s going to leave now and Katsuki’s going to have to wait to until tomorrow to find him.
Katsuki hangs his head, a drip of water hanging off his nose before it falls to the ground. Maybe this is the universe telling him to give up. Maybe he’s not supposed to find Izuku. Maybe he’s supposed to let Izuku go.
The rain stops falling on Katsuki.
He looks up in surprise. There’s an umbrella over his head, blocking out the rain. And holding onto it, staring at him with wide-eyed concern, is Izuku.
“Kacchan, hold this,” Izuku thrusts the handle of the umbrella into Katsuki’s hand. “I know how much you hate the rain.”
Now Katsuki is fully under the cover of the umbrella, while Izuku stands partially in the rain. Katsuki just stares, wondering for a second if he’s hallucinating, “You’re here.”
“Rody texted that you were looking for me,” Izuku tells him. “I was looking for you too. I was scared you got caught out in the storm.”
Katsuki watches raindrops fall and collect in Izuku’s hair, “You’re getting wet.”
“I don’t mind.”
Izuku doesn’t seem bothered, but Katsuki steps closer until they’re chest to chest, both fully covered by the umbrella.
“There,” he says in satisfaction. “Now we can both stay dry.”
“Uh…”
Katsuki frowns. Izuku hesitates, his cheeks tinged pink, “Are we…going to stand like this until the storm passes?”
Katsuki only then becomes aware of their proximity. They’re so close Katsuki swears he can feel the warmth of Izuku’s body. Katsuki’s not a touchy person, but it’s not entirely unpleasant.
Katsuki narrows his eyes, “You got a problem with that?”
“No,” Izuku ducks his head and Katsuki thinks he might be hiding a smile. His forehead brushes against Katsuki’s chest, making his skin tingle. “I don’t mind.”
Katsuki can’t help but smile too.
They stand like that for a minute, both of them content to just be close to each other. After a summer apart, Katsuki hadn’t realized how good it would feel to just be back in the presence of the person he knows better than anyone.
Katsuki knows the easy silence can’t last forever, but he doesn’t want to be the one to shatter it. He stays quiet until Izuku finally sucks in a breath. His voice is quiet when he speaks, “I never meant to make you worry about me.”
“I know,” Katsuki says, because he does. Izuku would never dream of causing him harm.
“I just… I really like what we are now,” Izuku says. “I didn’t want to go back to the way we used to be.”
“It won’t. We won’t,” Katsuku meets Izuku’s gaze and holds it. “I’m never going to let it be like that again, Izuku. I promise.”
Izuku lets out his breath. There’s a new kind of weariness in his eyes—something he’s picked up after the war ended. It seems out of place in someone as young as Izuku.
“I know you won’t, Kacchan,” He nods, glancing away and then back. “It’s just that after the war—after we got out of the hospital—you started acting different around me. I guess I got scared.”
After various surgeries and weeks of recovery in the hospital, Katsuki and Izuku had finally been discharged. That was when Katsuki first realized that something had changed. Whenever Izuku was out of sight, Katsuki’s mind would fill with all these terrifying scenarios where Izuku was attacked or hurt or killed. Suddenly, Katsuki needed to be around Izuku as much as he could, just to reassure himself that Izuku was still there. And maybe also because, although he’d never admit it, Katsuki realized he’s more comfortable around Izuku than anyone else.
Katsuki swallows, “The way I acted… It didn’t have anything to do with you losing One For All.”
I was just worried about you.
The words stick on Katsuki’s tongue.
“Okay,” Izuku nods, but Katsuki isn’t sure he believes him. “But Kacchan, that’s not all I’m trying to say. So much is changing for me, and you were just one more thing I didn’t know how to deal with.”
Katsuki almost flinches. Ouch. Katsuki didn’t realize his…feelings were that big of burden to Izuku. The realization stings a little.
“Oh,” Katsuki’s voice is flat. “Didn’t mean to be an inconvenience to you.”
Izuku’s eyes widen, “That’s not what I—” He swallows. “I’m not explaining myself very well.”
“No,” Katsuki agrees. “Unless you meant to lump me in with losing your quirk and not being able to save Shigaraki.”
He doesn’t like that he’s been added to the long list of inconvenient changes Izuku’s had to deal with since the war’s end. It seems harsh, especially coming from Izuku.
“I didn’t. Not at all,” Izuku rushes to clarify. “I only mean that so many things will never go back to the way they were before the war. I’ll never have One For All again, and that’s fine. But when I gave it up, I didn’t consider how it would change my life. I didn’t think about how it might also mean giving up my friends, my school, you.”
“You don’t have to give up any—"
“You said it yourself, Kacchan,” Izuku cuts Katsuki off, his expression fierce. “I can’t compete with you anymore. Not like when I had One For All.”
Katsuki really does wince, remembering his words to Izuku when he learned that Izuku had given up his quirk. I guess I thought we’d be competing for the rest of our lives. In that moment, Katsuki had been so afraid that what he’d built with Izuku would crumple away. For once, he hadn’t been able to keep his feelings locked away. He’d cried right there in the hospital room, in front of All Might and a shocked Izuku.
“That’s not what I meant—”
“Things aren’t going to be the same between us. You can’t deny that,” Izuku tells him. “And at the same time, Aoyama was giving up his spot in the class because he felt like someone else would be more deserving. I started to think maybe I should do the same thing. After all, I don’t even really have a quirk anymore. What am I doing in a hero course?”
Izuku winces, as if he realizes after speaking that his words have traces of bitterness. He looks guilty, “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I would give it all up again to save the world. It’s just… It’s changed everything for me. It’s made me doubt whether I still have a place back home, at UA, with my friends.” Izuku glances at Katsuki. “I got overwhelmed by it all. So I ran.”
Izuku’s voice wavers with remorse, but Katsuki can only stare at him indignantly, “You’re seriously asking me that?”
Izuku blinks in confusion, “What?”
“You asked what you’re doing in a hero course,” Katsuki reminds him, his expression fierce. “What kind of stupid question is that?”
“I don’t—”
“You’re a hero, Izuku,” Katsuki tells him. “You saved the world, didn’t you?
“Well, sort of, but—”
“There you go,” Katsuki says, like the matter is resolved. “The way I see it, nothing’s gonna take away from that. You’ll always be a hero, whether you’ve got a flashy quirk or not.”
Izuku stares at him. He looks like he’s not sure if he can believe Katsuki’s telling the truth. The thought makes Katsuki a little sad. A long time ago, he’d been the one to tell Izuku he’d never be a hero without a quirk. It seems like scars made by his words have lingered with Izuku for his whole life.
“I know I should’ve told you I was leaving,” Izuku finally says. It’s like he doesn’t know how to respond to Katsuki’s comment, so he’s moving on. “I should have told all of you.”
Katsuki tenses. It’s the question that’s been bouncing around his head all summer. Why did you disappear without a word? Katsuki’s always been scared to know the answer. It’s why he didn’t chase Izuku down as soon as the damn nerd disappeared. But he also hasn’t been able to live his life without thinking about it.
Now that it’s finally on the verge of being answered, Katsuki is apprehensive. He keeps his face carefully expressionless as he asks, “Why didn’t you say anything, then?”
Izuku sighs heavily, “I just didn’t want to face you. I was afraid of what I’d see in your eyes, now that I’m not a—” he cuts himself awkwardly. Katsuki knows he was about to say hero. “Now that things are different.”
So Izuku ran because he’s afraid. He’s scared that his life, his friends, and his relationship with Katsuki would go back to the way they were in middle school, before Izuku had gotten his quirk. Katsuki can understand Izuku’s fear, but it still pains him to know that he played a role in fostering it.
But things aren’t like that anymore—not between the two of them—and Katsuki will do whatever it takes to prove that to Izuku.
He stares intently at Izuku, “You said we can’t compete in the same way.”
Izuku nods, glancing away like he’s afraid of what he’ll find in Katsuki’s eyes.
“You’re right,” Katsuki admits. Disappointment flashes across Izuku’s face. “I’ve known things would change since I found out you lost your quirk. And at first, I was really upset that we wouldn’t get to keep competing with each other for the rest of our lives.”
“I know, Kacchan,” Izuku looks mournful. “And I’m sor—”
“Don’t apologize, idiot. I’m not finished,” Katsuki cuts him off before Izuku can finish. “That’s why I was upset at first, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then, and I think I got it all wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
Katsuki meets Izuku’s eyes, trying his best to find the right words, “I wasn’t upset because we weren’t going to be rivals anymore. I was just scared because I thought you might leave me behind.” He swallows hard. “You’ve always been there with me, my whole life. I guess I just…don’t want to lose you.”
“That’s—” Izuku’s eyes are wide. “I’m always gonna be your biggest fan.”
“You’d better,” Katsuki frowns. “But that’s not exactly what I mean.”
Izuku hesitates, “What do you mean, then?”
Katsuki shifts his weight awkwardly, his shoulder brushing against Izuku’s, “I, uh… I mean that all this change? Maybe it isn’t so bad.”
Izuku looks skeptical.
“Maybe it’s made me realize that I want things to change between us,” Katsuki adds before he loses his nerve. Izuku’s lips part in surprise. “Maybe I don’t want to just be rivals anymore.”
Rain pours around them, dripping from the edge of the umbrella like a waterfall. Beneath the umbrella’s cover, it feels like Katsuki and Izuku are sealed away from the rest of the world, like they’re the only ones who exist.
Izuku stares with his wide green eyes. His voice is soft and hesitant, “What do you…want to be, then?”
Katsuki is uncharacteristically hesitant, because he is so scared of doing something wrong. He can’t afford to mess up, because it might mean losing Izuku. That’s a loss Katsuki could never tolerate.
“I don’t know,” he looks at his feet. He feels like a coward, but the riskier option comes with a higher chance of pushing Izuku away.
“Are you sure?” Izuku’s fingers brush against his hand. Katsuki thinks they linger for a second.
“I—” The words are stuck in Katsuki’s throat. “I don’t want to fuck things up.”
“You won’t,” Izuku says, with a lot more certainty than Katsuki feels. There’s something encouraging about the look in Izuku’s eyes as he leans closer. There’s something like a promise written across his face. “Not with me.”
If not for the look on Izuku’s face and the gentle brush of his hand against Katsuki’s, Katsuki might have stayed silent. But Katsuki’s never been a coward, and he can’t let this time be the exception. He steels himself, reaching for the truth he’s been afraid to face for god knows how long.
“I don’t want to be your rival anymore,” he whispers, his voice softer than Izuku’s ever heard it. “But I don’t think I want to just be your friend either.” He hesitates. “And I sure as hell don’t want to be nothing.”
Katsuki watches the wind and the rain as they play with the soft tips of Izuku’s hair. He watches the color rise in Izuku’s cheeks, right beneath a familiar splash of freckles. He watches Izuku’s lips part with surprise.
“What’s, uh… What’s left, then?” Izuku frowns in confusion.
Katsuki blinks. Izuku can’t be serious. Can he? Katsuki narrows his eyes, “Dumbass. You know what’s left. You trying to make fun of me or something?”
“What? No! Of course not,” Izuku stammers. “I just… I want…” He blushes, and his next words are so quiet Katsuki can’t quite hear him.
“Speak up, nerd,” Katsuki demands.
“I want to hear you say it!” Izuku exclaims. His whole face is red as he looks anywhere but Katsuki’s face. “Kacchan, I want you to tell me what you want.”
Now Katsuki’s face feels warm too. His throat feels dry as he watches a drop of rain trace a path down Izuku’s cheek. Katsuki reaches up to wipe it away. Izuku’s breath catches as Katsuki’s fingers brush against his face, and Katsuki swears he can feel Izuku’s heart beating. He lets his fingers linger for a moment against the soft skin of Izuku’s face.
“Izuku,” Katsuki breathes his name. Izuku finally looks at him and his eyes are soft and vulnerable in a way Kacchan hasn’t seen in a while. Katsuki’s afraid to blink, because he doesn’t want to miss a second of Izuku looking at him like this. “You…wanna try the fourth option?”
Izuku frowns, pouting a little, “Now you’re not saying it on purpose, Kacchan.”
Katsuki lets out a huffed breath. He’s never been great at all that awkward emotional stuff, but he knows Izuku’s hanging onto his every word. “Fine! I want to know that you’re gonna stay close to me. And I want you to know that I’m never going to leave you behind.” He swallows hard.
“Go out with me, Izuku.”
There’s a second of silence that seems to stretch a lifetime, during which time Katsuki contemplates all his life decisions and debates on whether running into the rainstorm and letting the creek wash him away is the best course of action.
And then Izuku smiles like the sun has come out, even though rain still pours around them.
“Sure, Kacchan!”
And Katsuki can’t help it. He’s grinning back, flashing a rare smile and showing his teeth like he hasn’t in a long time. Izuku just has that effect on him, and Katsuki honestly can’t remember ever being so happy.
“You mean that?” he asks, because he needs to be sure. “Because I’m serious about this, Izuku. You say yes, and I’ll always be there to chase you across the ocean.”
Izuku just laughs, and the sound is so beautiful that Katsuki wants to record it and listen to it again and again, “So you admit it, then! You did come here for me.”
“You little shit—”
Izuku silences Katsuki by reaching for his hand. Katsuki lets Izuku twine their fingers together. Izuku’s hand is warm and calloused and sends tingles of electricity across his skin.
“I mean it,” Izuku nods, his smile fading into a serious expression. “Ever since we were kids, all I wanted was to be close to you. That hasn’t changed now.”
Katsuki struggles against the lump in his throat because this? It’s all he’s wanted, long before he could admit it to himself. He never wants to let go of Izuku’s hand again.
Katsuki closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Izuku and resting his forehead against the other boy’s. Izuku lets out a breath and relaxes into his touch, and Katsuki can feel his heartbeat next to Katsuki’s own. He’s never been so close to anyone before and he can’t imagine being this close with anyone again.
Not unless it’s Izuku.
They stand with hands intertwined as the rain pours around them, waiting out the storm. And for the first time in his life, Katsuki doesn’t hate the rain.
He doesn’t mind it at all.