Chapter Text
Sometimes, Damian wonders why Richard Grayson hates the idea of people helping him.
Or better yet…
How come people haven’t noticed he needs help?
Grayson has been- actually always been the one people go to. Always was the peacemaker during fights that even Damian can acknowledge that Grayson has a good knack of stopping arguments all together, and resulting in resolutions and peace for both sides. He’s always been that person who you could just go to and do one phone call and poof, he’ll be there.
Sick?
There in 5 minutes with a bucket.
Panic attack?
There with stuffed animals, weighted blankets, you name it.
Bad day? Mentally or/and Physically?
There. With ice cream and movies.
Just need to get out of school?
There and a plan to go to your favorite place.
He’s always just been there, even when Father disappeared and people thought he died, Grayson stepped up. No one asked him to, no one forced him too, no one thought anyone would step up.
But he did.
He’s always stepped up to help people, always be there for people when they need him. He stepped up to be the father Damian never thought he needed, Grayson gave him a choice. Gave him opinions and pathways that father never gave to him, gave him a sense of belonging.
Maybe even if Damian didn't want to say it out loud…
Grayson was more of a father than his own father can be.
But that’s what worries Damian, Grayson pushes himself to the max even if he says he’s fine he’s truly not. Sometimes he even sees Grayson pull a week of all-nighters, taking only a one
hour nap, which means it’s definitely not good. He knows that even though Grayson puts on makeup to cover the eye bags, he could still see it.
Grayson tries so much to be there for not only Damian but for the rest of the bat family, and sometimes Damian sees he gets taken for granted.
It sucks.
Father does tell him to rest but then asks him for help for a long mission, patrols, or even cases that father knows Grayson already has a pile of cases. Todd always nags and teases Grayson, even though it’s all sibling fun and such, you can see Grayson taking those words into consideration, like saying “You’re so dumb and stupid for doing that” “Dick ew, why would you like that? Honestly it’s embarrassing” “Why do you have to be like this”
Truly even though Grayson won’t admit it, you can tell sometimes it gets under his skin at times, something he can’t itch yet he tries so bad, to scratch away the nagging teasing that shouldn’t even be bothering him. Both Todd and Drake even team up to nag and tease Grayson.
Honestly it’s immature and preposterous behavior on their end.
Sure maybe Damian doesn’t understand yet truly about brother bonding, and the ways of being a sibling, sometimes he even wishes there was even a book.
HOW TO BE A SIBLING (especially for those who were a child assassin and knows only to kill and to kill the unworthy.) 101.
But he learned body language and movements, knowing sudden changes of facial tone and sudden mood change, one both Cassandra and him can both have a similarity on, though Cassandra is more skilled and trained on that specific skill Damian admits.
Yet at least those skills help see what he can see Grayson’s expression turned into…
one of…
Sadness..
No, not even…
Acceptance.
Like he truly believes the words that yet are so childish on Damian’s thoughts are probably words that circle around Grayson’s mind probably almost every day, telling and making him believe he is the words that Todd and Drake tell him he are. It doesn’t also help with the amount of times when he is Nightwing he often gets heavily sexualized, even to the victims he has helped, touching him and making him truly uncomfortable, touching his chest, his ass, even going near his crotch area, like what the hell?! He saved them, and this is the thanks he gets? Damian could even see the sweat and the cry for help in Grayson’s eyes, but those eyes always have to be sparkling. So that for those victims, they can’t tell he’s scared, can’t tell when he’s highly uncomfortable and wanting to scream and run away. Even though Damian tells him to set those boundaries to himself, he tells Damian that “They are just grateful, and most likely are just scared.” He knows that even the victims are just taking advantage of Grayson, taking advantage of the hero Nightwing.
It’s not even fair, why is it always those who are kind to the world, always helping and taking it upon themselves to stand up and push themselves up when the world is just always against them.
It’s not fair.
It’s not fucking fair.
…
It’s not fair to Richard.
He just wishes Richard would see through his eyes how badly he wants him to rest, how badly he needs to set those boundaries, how badly he needs to finally tell those people who have done him wrong to fuck off.
He badly wants Richard to see how much he cares about him even if he won’t say it out loud.
He wants Richard to see how much he truly loves him…How much he truly loves him, like his own father…
Like a father actually…
But of course, Richard doesn’t see that…
Not at all.
And that’s not fair.
–
It was three am in the morning when Damian woke up with the halls echoed with a retching sound. He could hear someone gagging and then vomiting so loudly that Damian even had to contain and control his own gag reflex a little, anywho he knew that father was out and that both Todd and Drake were on patrol. Pennyworth was out on an Egland trip with his family which Damian was surprised he had one, Brown wasn’t staying over because why would she if Pennyworth wasn’t gonna make any pastries? And Cassandra (Damian refuses to use her last name due to her past) was currently in Hong-Kong with Gordon, so that just leads to…
Richard.
Damian quickly got up, even if he won’t admit it people getting sick always gets him on a high alert. It's something that he doesn’t know why but he always had a sense of just wanting to help anytime someone was sick, it was a weird thought he had always had but truly it was probably because during his time in the league he would secretly tend to those who were sick.
Even though it cost him his body to get punished.
Whatever those thoughts right now have to wait, he knew what to do since Pennyworth has always done this, so he grabbed the list of items he needed:
-Grab a bucket, because lord forbids that one time with the stomach bug…We don’t talk about that.
-A light blanket so it’s not too heavy yet not too suffocating nor too light that it wasn’t gonna snuggle you.
-A thermometer
-Some medicine, usually for this case if this is a stomach bug or such, loperamide (Imodium A-D) or bismuth subsalicylate would be the best case, over the counter medicine and also the most effective.
-Water because…It’s self explanatory
Damian went over to Richard’s room, and knocked on the door lightly. “Grayson…? Is everything alr-”
Damian was suddenly surprised with the sudden movements behind the door as Richard quickly opened the door, Damian looked at Richard up and down.
Forehead seems very sweaty, his natural tan skin now sorta pale and dull yet his cheeks super flushed, his under eyes can be seen and shows he’s exhausted. Not only that you can smell the vomit all over him, and the little speck on the corners of his mouth, his neutral wavy and semi long hair now sweaty and up in a bun.
He looked awful.
Richard smiled in his usual chirpy smile but you can already tell he was under the weather. “O-Oh..Hey Dami…What’s the occasion, is everything alright…?” Richard said, his voice however was kinda raspy and sounding heavily tired, and his breaths are really shallow, like he’s having a hard time breathing
Damian stared, he looked at Richard with just a hint of concern as he held the stuff up. “I heard your retching sound from my room, you seem to be having an adverse time breathing. Shall I also grab your inhaler?”
Richard shook his head and smiled, taking the bucket that had the equipment to make him feel better away from Damian and held it to himself. “Don’t worry baby bat, I’ll be alright! You probably- uh… heard…Titus!”
“Titus is having his slumber in my room.”
“Alfred…?”
“Also having his slumber.”
“The bir-”
“Grayson, just say you’re the one Ill.” Damian said bluntly, Richard sighed and smiled gently.
“I’m okay Dami…Are you…Worried about me…?” Richard said with a small smile and Damian couldn’t help but puff his cheeks a little and look down. “...I rather not say, but whatever in your tiny bird cage of a mind thinks then do as you think so.” Damian said, Richard was gonna say something when he felt the need to vomit and sped to his bathroom, Damian slowly walked into his room and into the bathroom where he saw Richard just retching and gagging, then emptying his stomach out.
Damian wasn’t really good at comforting like at all, truly it’s more of a boundary then more or less his ability to comfort someone. He can, but when it comes to personally comforting someone that is something he kinda has a hard time to do.
Although, this is Richard.
And Richard has comforted him more times than he can count.
So he slowly and at first hesitantly, placed his hand on Richard’s back, creating a slow and yet gentle circling motion on his back. Rubbing his back, so that Richard knows that he is being comforted.
Dick didn’t know how long they were in that position, 30 minutes or 45? He didn’t count and he didn’t care, this illness or whatever he has will be the more death of him than the many times the stupid idiots in Blüdhaven police station would overlook a case then realize their mistake when it’s too late. Dick huffed and used the toilet paper that was next to the toilet and wiped his mouth before turning to Damian and smiled gently, he was tired. No.
Exhausted.
He was in so much pain, his body screaming at him to just lay down, his muscles and the fibers that just keep his body together were just moments away from just collapsing, not only that his throat and stomach engulfed in flames, the burning sensation was just so bad even thinking about it makes his eyes water.
Smiling was exhausting, truly for Dick it had always been so exhausting, trying to pretend he is happy all the time, trying to pretend that he is the person he always says he is.
The Reliable One.
Golden Boy.
The Expectation.
The Role Model.
He HAS to smile.
He needs to smile.
“Thanks baby bat…I’m fine now so you can go back to sleep okay…?” Dick said, his voice still shaky and his breaths a bit shallow, he looked even worse than before, and how is that even possible when he just spent like 45 minutes to let out the most retched sounds ever to known to man.
Damian glared, as he grabbed a water bottle and handed to Dick, his eyes filled with annoyance yet the smallest bit of concern was showing through those Jade eyes a bit. “Grayson, while I admire your independence, you are heavily ill. I shall inform Father when he gets back and-”
“NO-...I-I mean no, it’s fine Dami seriously, I can handle this myself…A little old illness doesn’t stop your flashy and amazing big brother!” Dick said, when he first said no, he almost yelled, the fear and exhaustion escaped through his vocals, was he…Scared to ask for help from Father?
“Grayson, I think it’s rather urgent we call Father on this, or Todd or even the imbecile Drake. You look even more distasteful than before, and look like you crawled from the dead. I fear you will start to get dehydrated even with the amount of water you consume, and even so might not even be able to hold down the water.” Damian said, starting to feel a bit impatient, trying his best to remain calm in a situation that he knows he can’t call Alfred for.
Dick sighed, he was staring to get a bit tired and annoyed, repeating himself to Damian that he was fine. He knows the ten year old has great intentions, but he was fine? Why doesn’t Damian see that? Sure he may be sweating like crazy in December, and sure he feels like he wants to plop on the ground and die but he’s fine?
He’s fine.
“Damian, I’m okay. Seriously, just a bit under the weath-”
“You’re literally sweating.”
“But I’m fi-”
“Grayson you look like you’re gonna pass out, at the very least you’re pale. You look exhausted, why is it so hard for your little bird cage of a mind to understand that you’re sick. You need attention, you need medical attention. Maybe I should call 911, just in case.”
“Damian let me finish, I’m oka-”
“You say you’re okay one more time. You literally were throwing up for 45 minutes, goodness Grayson, accept your defeat and let us or let me help yo-”
Dick was tired, tired of trying to keep up his cheerful act. His eyes filled with not only exhaustion but also just straight up annoyance and his whole body was done trying to pretend anymore.
“I DON’T NEED ANY HELP AND I SURE AS HELL DON’T NEED HELP FROM YOU. GOD DAMIAN TAKE THE HINT I DON’T NEED ANYONE I WAS FINE ON MY OWN AND I AM FINE NOW, YOU ARE JUST THE ONE WHOSE MAKING IT WORSE SO FOR GOD SAKES LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. BRUCE WASN’T THERE FOR ME, JASON WASN’T THERE BECAUSE HE FUCKING DIED, TIM SHOULDN’T EVEN BE NEAR ME DUE TO HIS SPLEEN AND WHY WOULD I NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE WHOSE MOOD KEEP FUCKING CHANGES, DO YOU HATE ME OR NOT? PICK ONE. I’M TIRED DAMIAN SO PLEASE, LEAVE. GET OUT OF MY ROOM. I CAN HANDLE MYSELF.”
Dick huffed, and he quickly felt the unsettling feeling of his stomach, his throat was burning and he quickly held the toilet.
“Richa-”
“Get out. Just…Get out, please.” Dick said before hurling and gagging before he started to vomit again to the toilet, he didn’t care that he had hurt his baby brother’s feelings, he didn’t care if he knew that no one really cared about him. He was used to that.
Used to being taken advantage of, mentally and sexually.
Used to being thrown around like a rag doll.
Used to being the one people would go to.
He was used to it all, he didn’t care anymore.
Damian stared, why was he feeling hot wetness coming down and trickling onto his pajamas, he quickly went out of Dick’s room and closed the door gently.
Is this what feeling guilty feels like?
Is that what it feels to fail someone?
He never knew that’s how Grayson felt, and it wasn’t what Dick said about Damian that hurt him apparently…
It was the fact of how much he was just hurting, how much he hid it from the rest of the family. How much he thinks that no one really cares of how he feels, on his well being, it hurts that no one sees how much Grayson was feeling. It hurts that no one saw his suffering, the raw pain he had been feeling as each day was passing by, the swaying motion of his guilt started to go up more.
He realized HE hadn’t realized the pain, the raw suffering, the exhaustion and the tiredness Grayson has been feeling.
He hadn’t realized the emotions of his own caused Grayson to feel this way.
This wasn’t fair to Grayson.
No.
To Richard.
This wasn’t fair, he wanted to make it fair.
Even though everyone would be away.
Damian Al Ghoul Wayne was still here.
And he’s gonna make sure Richard Grayson sees how much they truly care about him.
How he truly cares about him.