Archive of Our Own

Zoro had been acting strange ever since Sanji met him again on Wano and he wanted to know what was up with him. It wasn’t something noticeable at first. Sanji thought he’d been his regular insufferable self well into their Wano plans. It was only around Luffy’s return from Udon that he realised something was up.

He could’ve dodged that kick—Sanji knew Zoro wasn’t that weak. His Observation Haki was strong and his Armament Haki, stronger. Stronger than Sanji’s, though he’d never admit it. At least Sanji was better at his Observation Haki. That still didn’t explain why Zoro had gotten so caught off guard during their fight.

They’ve fought that way thousands of times before with intent because they knew—goddamn it, they knew— no matter what, the other was experienced enough, strong enough, and they understood each other well enough that their hits never landed. Zoro could send all the slashes he wanted at Sanji and always be right about Sanji dodging them. Likewise, Sanji could throw all the kicks he wanted on Zoro and never actually injure him.

That’s what he’d thought until what happened at Amigasa anyway.

Had it really been such a shock, such a devastating thing, to learn that Luffy and Law had ended their relationship? Surely Zoro didn’t care that much about it? They hadn’t even known Law that long to feel so attached to him. They weren’t friends, as far as Sanji knew.

Then again, maybe Sanji didn’t know Zoro as well as he thought he did. The fact that he’d prided himself on knowing Zoro that well, even subconsciously, had been alarming and slightly unsettling. It made him angry in a way he’d never felt angry at Zoro before. He felt betrayed, in a way.

But that ended up with Sanji just being selfish and feeling like an asshole when he learned the real reason.

When Law told that very night why Zoro had acted the way he did, things started to clear up a little. If it was actually his heart that had been wounded in their fight then Sanji could take the blame. He understood when it came to the heart because he’d fallen in love before. Fallen in love a thousand times and would continue to fall in love.

He loved differently from others, he knew, but that did not make his love any less true. Some only loved one person for years on end and treated them worse than Sanji had to any woman he had ever given his heart to. He’d tried to be as selfless in his love as possible. He never demanded anything back, never expected anything back, never scorned them for not doing the same.

The majority of women were good; the majority of men weren’t. That had always been his true, heartfelt belief.

The image of his mother flashed into his mind, blurry, a shadow in his memories and yet, as clear as ever. Beautiful, strong, kind, fragile… dead. What might’ve happened if there had been someone who’d loved her properly? What might’ve happened had Reijuu been able to allow her kindness to shine through all the brutality she’d been forced to commit? Why had it been so easy for his father and brothers to control them and scar them like that? 

Yet, it happened more commonly than in just his family. Zeff had taught him that and finally let him question the world. Question why it was so unfair. 

So he threw around his love as much as he could, and understood if love was the reason Zoro had become weak. Loving did that to people, sometimes.

That night, Zoro hadn’t joined them at the double crew barbecue party but it didn’t matter. Sanji had kept his portion aside and even saved a bottle of sake for him. A good one, just because he felt especially sorry and didn’t want to say it.

He found Zoro sleeping near a bonfire on the beach where Kin’emon and his group had been drinking not too long ago. Now they were gone, having headed back to Amigasa by then. Zoro slept fast but he was by no means a heavy sleeper. His vigilance kept him sharp at all times and so, when he didn’t move, Sanji frowned.

“Stop ignoring me, stupid mosshead,” Sanji grumbled, sitting down next to him. “You’re just moss, what makes you think you have the authority to ignore me? You’re not even as quiet as moss is on a regular day but suddenly that’s changed—”

“Moss this, moss that, shut the fuck up,” Zoro snarled and turned onto his back, throwing a glare at Sanji. “What are you even here fo—”

He paused, voice lilting in delight. His nostrils twitched and he shot to a sitting position. “You brought sake with you.”

“You didn’t even question it. What’s with that nose of yours?” Sanji snorted and held out a basket which Zoro snatched with a scowl. His gaze held no more contempt though, which made this less awkward for Sanji. “Didn’t smell anything besides the sake though, huh?”

“I did.” Zoro took out the bottle and opened it with his teeth, spitting out the cork before taking a long swig. He sighed in contentment after swallowing his mouthful. “I smelt you as soon as you stepped off the ship. Cigarettes all the time.”

He said it right as Sanji lit one up which made him frown. “You’re a bastard. Can’t say a single agreeable thing to make this easier for me, can you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Zoro took another swig from the sake bottle, a smile on his face as he looked up at the stars. His hair almost glinted under the moonlight and his relaxed shoulders told something to Sanji. That there was a trust between them  everyone else could see, which they would deny out loud but never to themselves.

Never to their hearts.

He gazed at Zoro, having had these thoughts before but wondering why it seemed like something within him shifted for the first time, just then.

“What?” Zoro said, pulling him out of his trance. “You’re staring. It’s fucking creepy.”

Embarrassed at being caught, Sanji fell back on habit and snapped, “Who’s staring at your ugly mug? Don’t get ahead of yourself! I just got lost in thought.”

Instead of snapping back, Zoro let out a tired sigh. It was exhausting enough to even affect Sanji and all the fight left him. 

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Sanji pursed his lips. He was frustrated. Zoro was frustrating him. “There’s something up with you. I’m not one to pry about men’s affairs but in this case… well. I owe it to you. Heartbreak is not something we can control since other people are usually the ones doing the breaking.”

That caught his attention. Zoro’s neck whipped to face Sanji with a wide eye, expression contorted as if nervous. 

“What…What does that mean?”

Sanji took a drag and inhaled deeply, letting the smoke soak up his anxiety before blowing it out. The bonfire had begun to dim and the heat wasn’t as good as it was when he arrived. “It was my bad, this time. I mean—well, love isn’t easy, is it?”

He glanced at Zoro after asking that question and saw that he was still looking at Sanji, though this time it seemed to be because of distress. “Torao told you?”

“It doesn’t matter" Sanji took another drag. Released it. “I just know, that’s all.”

A silence swept over them. The night sea breeze had long been a favourite of Zoro’s. Sanji always saw him sticking his head out of the crow’s nest when he locked up the kitchen for the evening—the only person awake at that time other than himself. For some reason, it didn’t seem to calm Zoro down tonight.

“...So you have nothing to say to me?” Zoro asked, breaking the silence. Sanji turned to him and his eyebrows furrowed when he saw the expression on Zoro’s face. Not that Zoro was looking at him. He stared down at the sand, nervously. A little vulnerable.

The sight of him like that, so far from his usual self, made Sanji hesitate. It was similar to the times he found himself searching for a way to speak more delicately in front of women. As if he had to tread carefully, lest he were to break something. 

It was a ridiculous thought. Zoro was not feeble nor was he a woman. Nothing about him was breakable. He’d been through the worst of things. He’d gone through that shitshow at Thriller Bark and come out alive. 

Sanji sometimes still had nightmares about it. The next day after nights like those, Sanji would slip an extra onigiri onto Zoro’s plate or leave a jar of whiskey on the counter, knowing Zoro would pick it up without a thought. There was no need for him to know he did that on purpose. There was no reason to bring up the past anymore. He didn’t want to owe anything to Zoro.

Right then though, Sanji felt like he owed Zoro an answer. He swallowed, thoughtfully twisting his cigarette between his fingers, taking a drag just because he didn’t know what to say.

He exhaled the smoke, letting it drift along the waves. Zoro waited and Sanji scratched his head in frustration. 

“Look, if you think I’m gonna apologise for shit, you’re wrong!” Sanji bit out and Zoro blinked at him. “You like a lady, that’s fine! I take back what I said about her never liking you back, whoever she is. That’s all I’m going to do!”

He wouldn’t apologise. He and Zoro didn’t have that sort of relationship. Apologies and gratitude weren’t their thing. They always tried to get the better of one another. Their competition remained the two of them even though Sanji’s bounty had been constantly below Zoro’s ever since their pirate career started. They fought back-to-back because, annoyingly, their backs were best watched by each other. 

And it was so stupid to think—to know—that Zoro knew him best and vice-versa. So the fact that he couldn’t tell why Zoro suddenly looked like the sky shattered rattled him.

“...What the fuck?” Zoro huffed a pained laugh, silencing Sanji. “That’s what you thought, huh? Yeah… yeah, I see. ‘Course that’s what you thought.”

“What else was I supposed to think?”

Zoro sighed irritably and ran a hand through his short, grassy hair. “Nothing else, I guess. That’s it. Booze was great.”

He tossed the basket back at Sanji and a spike of annoyance flashed through him, “Hey, be careful! You don’t think I’ll let you go before you finish the food, do you?!”

It’s as if none of his words were actually getting through. Zoro had already stood up and dusted off his clothes like nothing Sanji said mattered anymore. “What food?”

During the time it took for Sanji to peek inside the basket and come to the realisation that all the food he’d brought for Zoro was already gone, Zoro himself was also gone. 

The bastard got lost. 

With Luffy and Law back together, things looked up for the crew. It wasn’t nice to see an angry Luffy. Even worse to see a depressed one. Law was like a magic cure to all of Luffy’s issues and Sanji never called men any sort of flattering words like those. Honestly though, if Luffy had to pick a partner, Law wasn’t a bad choice. In fact, he was a pretty good one, all things considered.

So whatever. Gay captains. Why not? It’s a free world when you’re pirates. Sanji belatedly considered that maybe it should become more commonplace because then, men would pair up with each other and leave all the women for him. It would be a flower-scented world. Being on a male-dominated crew was horrible with how they hardly bathed. 

Zoro and Luffy were the worst of them all. Though, Luffy’s hygiene issue seemed to be taken care of with how Law had already forced him to take a bath sooner than he normally would. Luffy grumbled about how he’d already taken a bath four days ago, but caved when he caught Law’s withering look as he started to make distance between them.

Luffy couldn’t stand not being close to Law. He’d taken a bath as soon as he realised the ‘hug rule’ was annulled if he went more than two days without bathing. 

Zoro had no such person looking after his hygiene. He just continued to sweat and never bathe. Horrid man. Sanji couldn’t imagine what the person who ended up with that would have to go through. He said as much and they’d instantly dissolved into a verbal, quickly turned physical, fight. A normal fight.

Sanji privately appreciated that normalcy more now, after the strange tension between them for the past few days. He’d naively assumed that things had returned to the way they used to be. As it turned out, it didn’t. Kicking Zoro into that boulder must’ve damaged his head somewhere because after that, instead of picking fights with Sanji, he resolved it in other, odd ways.

When Sanji goaded him about using armour to protect himself since his bounty was lower, instead of using his swords, he dragged Sanji over so that he could wear the armour for him—an endeavour Sanji fervently tried to hinder, regretting that he’d ever brought the topic up.

That had been crazy enough because how the fuck had Zoro concluded that Sanji wanted to see him wear the armour instead of taking it as the provocation it had clearly been? 

After that, everything just got worse. He began to smile more at Sanji, avoid getting into fights with him, touch his shoulder more often, and so on. It had started to drive Sanji insane but, when it came down to it, it wasn’t incredibly out of character or anything. Just slightly so. The rest of the crew hadn’t even noticed. 

Only Sanji had and subsequently, he came to a rude realisation that he noticed everything Zoro did. He did more than that. He took note of it and acted accordingly. It was ground-breaking to become aware of that fact. Worse when he became certain that he’d continue to do so, this time with an awareness of it.

Then the raid happened. 

Sanji had believed that he’d have no time to think about his strangely evolving relationship with Zoro during such an important day, but he’d been wrong and it was all because of Trafalgar fucking Law.

“Take care of him.” Law had told him after leaving Zoro to Sanji’s mercy, dripping with blood and battered raw. “Without him, Straw Hat-ya and I wouldn’t have lasted this long. He expected to die and you should know, he asked me to pass a message onto you if that had happened.”

Slightly panicked, he called out after Law who’d already started running away again. “Wait! What was the message?!”

“Ask him yourself after you patch him up!”

Motherfucker. 

When Zoro woke up, he’d almost been convinced that he’d died and gone to heaven. It was darker than he’d imagined it but Sanji was in front of him, a look of concern painting his face. It was a soft expression that Zoro wasn’t used to and he appeared nearly angelic. Being dead didn’t seem that bad anymore. 

“Fucker, stay awake!” Sanji yelled and Zoro’s eyelid snapped, blinking him awake as demanded. Sanji’s concern had hardened into exasperation and he shouted out things that Zoro couldn’t really absorb for a while before his clouded  mind sharpened.

By the time he could comprehend anything, he was already wrapped up, limbs stiffly arranged into a cross under layers and layers of bandages. Did Sanji use up all the dressing in the entire fucking castle or something? Talk about going overboard.

“You’ve never actually bandaged anyone, have you?” Zoro asked.

“It’s the same as trussing ham,” Sanji grunted and tied another knot over Zoro’s thickly plastered arm.

“Do I look like ham?”

“Not even remotely that good.”

It got a chuckle out of Zoro if nothing else. Seriously, here Sanji was again, during the worst of Zoro’s times, trying to save him again. At least this time, it wasn’t his precious life he was giving up in exchange. 

“Who could’ve hurt you this bad?” he asked, pulling out a cigarette to light up. He inhaled on it, letting the smoke waft out of his nose and mouth. Zoro tried not to let his gaze linger for too long. It wasn’t the time for that.

“Kaido,” he answered plainly. 

“Impressive that you found your way up there.” Sanji thinned his lips and looked down at Zoro, meeting his gaze with a bewildering seriousness. “What happened? Torao said that you were ready to die and you had a message to give me.”

The room got too small then, as Zoro took in the meaning of those words. Law had told Sanji that? Of course, it’d been Law. Who else meddled this much with Zoro? Who else could he have left that message with? No one else knew. Not even the man who was supposed to know. 

He tried to breathe, his injuries making it more painful than it should’ve been. He knew he probably looked really uncool, wrapped under all the bandages, laid out like a big cross, but… would he ever get another chance like this? Or would he just continue doing what he always had?

Stealing glances at Sanji on the Sunny as he brought drinks to the girls, or chatted happily with the crew or when he smiled, humming a Northern song while doing something as mundane as peeling potatoes? With Zoro constantly yearning for someone who didn’t even know he was doing it? 

Constantly stuck in this love-hate relationship with someone he just wanted to love more openly. 

He was fucking tired of it all. Tired of pretending like Sanji wasn’t someone he’d wanted for a long time. Tired of acting like an asshole to Sanji when all he wanted to do all those times he flirted with women was pull him close and kiss him in front of everyone. Zoro wanted to declare it as loud as he could and knew that, at least if he were given that freedom, he may have a chance of beating away the competition.

Even though Sanji would never see him that way. 

Sanji waited impatiently for an answer, highlighted by how much faster he took his drags, tapped his booted foot against the wooden floor and pursed his thin lips. 

“I thought I would die. That’s why I told him to tell you,” Zoro started, swallowing thickly around the words. “If I’m not dying, you could regret knowing.”

“Don’t make that decision for me!” Sanji hissed. “What the fuck could you possibly have to say to me that’s so important, it needs you dead for me to digest it? Just spit it out already!”

Zoro looked away from Sanji’s face and up to the ceiling. It seemed wrong to do it now. It seemed right. Maybe they would die today, who knew? Zoro had a brush with death once already. Twice wasn’t such an impossibility anymore, given the state he was already in.

“You remember how you tried to stupidly give up your life to Kuma back on Thriller Bark?” Zoro asked, his mind revisiting the memory by itself. 

“...You’re the one who ended up doing it in the end. You’re stupider.” 

It could’ve made Zoro laugh, may have made him a little mad if it weren’t for where this was going. He sighed, defeatedly, “I think that was the most scared I ever got. Almost felt my fucking soul leave my body when you stood in front of me.”

He didn’t have to look at Sanji to know he was standing there, shocked into stillness at the revelation. Zoro didn’t dare to look at him, somewhat embarrassed at the words coming out of his mouth. 

“You,”—Sanji rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly—“never really...gave that impression. You care more about the crew than I thought…”

“It’s not about the damn crew,” Zoro nearly swore, eye stinging, chest aching. No tears gathered but it continued to sting anyway. “It was about you. It was the worst fucking thing, like a blow to the head with the densest goddamn hammer, when I figured out back then that I pined over a stupid, womanising idiot with a habit of sacrificing himself for other people. A real competitor for the worst day of my life.” 

He said it fast. As nonchalantly as he could. Knew he looked lame as hell giving such a soul-bearing confession during a time like now and yet, all he could think about was how freeing it was to finally share this essential part of him with the one it was meant for. 

When Sanji said nothing, Zoro finally chanced a look at him. A second later, he thought he shouldn’t have done that. He squeezed his eyelids together and tried his best to grin. 

“Idiot.” He snorted. “Why do you look so miserable? That’s my bit.”

Sanji had his head in his hands, breathing deeply. He glanced at Zoro, his visible eye red. Fuck, that was not in any of the possibilities Zoro had thought up when he imagined how this would go. 

“You…realised back then?” Sanji said after what seemed like forever. “How long have you actually…?!”

“...Who knows?” Zoro breathed deeply, the sight of Sanji losing his calm as entrancing as it was hurtful to him. But he’d asked for the truth and Zoro wasn’t about to hide it now. Not at this juncture. “Maybe since Alabasta, maybe Little Garden, maybe since our first fight… Or maybe it started as soon as I saw you. I’ll never know. I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. It just happened.”

“You think I can just accept that?!” Sanji cursed and discarded his cigarette so he could cover his head with his hands. “Shit… All this time… And when I told you that—you’d never…”

“Don’t make this a big deal,” Zoro cut him off before he could spiral. “You were right. My feelings can’t ever be reciprocated. I’ve long since made my peace with it. You just caught me off guard that day and maybe what I needed was to get the truth out. We can just go back to how we were.”

“Like hell, we can go back to normal!” Sanji yelled, his jaw tensing. His pretty eyebrow crinkled like it did when he was upset. “Do you know what an asshole I’d have to be to pretend like you said nothing to me just now??!”

How dumb. How kind. How fucking awful. Where Zoro had prepared himself for scorn or for tense awkwardness between them—for Zoro to have to offer a way out for Sanji so that he was given the option of pretending like nothing happened until he forgot about it—Sanji instead mourned for him. 

This wasn’t what he’d wanted.

“Go ahead and pretend.” Zoro huffed out. He felt a little breathless. Maybe it was the plaster or maybe it was the way Sanji’s entire focus was on him without any competitiveness, for once. “You know, curly, I never really told you before… but I think you have a pretty good smile when you aren’t flailing in front of women, so don’t you dare cry about this. There’s someone we’ve sworn our loyalty to and we need to do our part for our captain. We’ll get over it.”

It wasn’t normal for them to have such dramatic, emotional moments. That wasn't them. They were actions without words and acknowledgement despite insults. They weren't oil and water. They were two sides of the same coin. 

That’s why Zoro was sure Sanji would understand why they had to cut this off now.

“Who’s going to cry over you, dumbass? But yeah… yeah.” Sanji's throat bobbed and his mouth  quivered a little. Their eyes met one more time and Sanji looked away quickly, awkwardly, guiltily, like he’d done something wrong. He sighed, turned around and flicked the candle off with his gloved fingers. “Let's go.”

“Did I bring a fucking transponder snail with me??!”

Sanji’s lips quirked up when he heard that deep, reassuring voice filter through the speaker on the snail. Just like Zoro to never pay attention. It had been too easy to slip that snail into his belly warmer before Sanji started bandaging him up. His injuries really had been too severe. Sanji hadn’t even realised how worried Zoro made him until he’d plastered him up under several layers. 

“I slipped it in, just in case I had to find you if you died somewhere in a ditch,” Sanji said, one eye lifting up to Queen’s gigantic dinosaur Zoan form. “We’re definitely beating these bastard Beast Pirates.”

“Goes without saying!”

The sounds of metal clanking. Zoro was at a critical moment in his own fight but Sanji continued talking. He knew Zoro would listen. 

“But, after the battle, if I lose myself,” Sanji said, steeling himself to get it out, “you have to kill me.”

A grunt from the speakers—Zoro’s—and static. Sanji waited.

“Got it,” Zoro said, eventually. Sanji wondered if he’d hesitated to say that or if it was because he’d been in the middle of a fight that he hadn’t answered immediately. “Once I kill you, I’ll make Luffy the Pirate King… and I’ll follow you there eventually.”

Sanji blinked, having not expected Zoro to make this conversation turn in that manner. 

“Don’t let yourself get killed until I can keep my promise, you dumbass cook.”

There it was. 

Sanji smiled. “Thanks.”

Zoro let the cat out of the bag almost immediately after he’d woken up after having half the bones in his body broken. 

“Wait, wait, you idiot!” He slapped a hand over Zoro’s mouth, his face going bright red as he glanced around him at the occupants in the room. He couldn’t believe what Zoro would’ve just announced to a room full of people if he hadn’t shut him up. Lowering his voice, he caught Zoro by the arm, “Follow me.”

Surprisingly, Zoro let himself get pulled outside of the hall. Under his palm, the place where their skin met burned into Sanji’s memory. He’d never been so self-conscious of such minuscule physical contact nor the space between them before Zoro revealed his feelings. 

He pulled Zoro all the way into the expansive palace gardens. Here, the birds chirped and the water ran softly where the springs were designed to flow a certain way. It was large enough that people wouldn’t immediately spot them and had enough noise that no one would hear them talk but, now that Sanji took a closer look, he’d unintentionally chosen a really romantic spot to talk in. 

Fuck.

“How… How are you feeling?” Sanji asked, suddenly feeling awkward now that it was only the two of them.

Zoro’s eyebrows raised, “Uh… not bad. Have to start training again though. Spent too many days sleeping.”

“You idiot! You aren’t supposed to train as soon as you’re out of a coma! Do you have any idea how worried Chopper was? Use your moss brain a bit!”

It wasn’t what Sanji had meant to say and, of course, it was taken in the wrong way and Zoro glared at him. 

“Is that all you had to say?” He grumbled, snatching his arm out of Sanji’s grip. “What’d you pull me all the way out here for anyway?”

What for? Sanji couldn’t remember anymore. He only knew that there was too much going on between them right now for it to become the whole crew’s problem. While Zoro and Luffy had been unconscious, it wasn’t just Law who’d been constantly anxious. Sanji had wanted to be waiting by their side too.

The only reason he hadn't was because he needed time. Time to digest that, from now on, his relationship with Zoro was forever altered. He was worried that it would be for the worst even if it had never been the best to begin with.

“...Don’t go talking about what happened between us in front of everyone,” Sanji sighed, running a hand through his fine, golden hair. 

There was no reply for a few seconds but then Zoro spoke. “Got it. Guess you wouldn’t want your precious Nami and Robin to find out about this, huh?”

Sanji saw the way that Zoro’s jaw tightened, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly like he was trying to hide something. Every little action he took spoke loudly to Sanji. Every expression he wore was scrutable. There was nothing that Zoro could conceal from Sanji and yet, the only reason he had been able to hide this one, big secret about himself was because Sanji had never even thought of the possibility.

He’d hoped that Zoro could read his expressions just as well but Sanji lied to himself so often, not even he was able to read himself. How could he expect Zoro to do it?

“If people found out about your feelings, it’d make you look really pitiful. I don’t want to do that to you,” He settled on saying because it was true. Sanji pulled out his box of cigarettes and flicked one into his mouth. Lighting it up, he took a moment to think about what he wanted to say. “I won’t make fun of you for this and I won’t disrespect it. I’m not that sort of bastard.”

A huff brought his attention to the slight lift at the corner of Zoro’s lips. He looked at Sanji with a raised eyebrow. “I know that. It’s why I love you this damn much even though I wish I didn’t.”

His words made Sanji’s eyes widen and he almost choked on the smoke he inhaled, “You… you didn’t say ‘love’ before! What the fuck?!”

Familiar irritation sprouted on Zoro’s face and he sneered, “Huh? Of course, it’s love! You thought I’d become this pathetic over someone I just ‘like’?! I don’t do half-assed shit like that!” 

Zoro caught him by the collar of his yukata and growled low, “Listen up, shitty cook. I’m in love with you. Not some watered-down ‘like’, not some flimsy crush either. My ambition was less important to me than you so you better take me seriously.”

Women would’ve shuffled over with pink cheeks and stuttering voices if they’d wanted to confess their feelings. Women would’ve spoken in a shy voice, eyes downturned, hands fidgeting with the hems of their clothing. No woman would’ve ever growled out their love to Sanji like some animal.

But Zoro was not a woman. He was a man and men were barbaric. Zoro, perhaps the most barbaric of them all. And yet, Sanji's heart picked up pace, the rush of blood flooding into his face. His cheeks heated to such an alarming degree, that it made him light-headed. 

Zoro’s grip on Sanji’s yukata loosened, confusion bleeding into his voice. “Hey, you okay…? Your face is getting…”

What about my face? Sanji wanted to ask but the words didn’t come out. They lodged in his throat, stuck there like a dry morsel of rice. He didn’t really have to ask that question because he could feel what was going on with his face. 

He covered it up with both his hands, the heat emitting out from his skin making it feel like it was on fire. “Shut up, mosshead.” He choked out. “Stop looking at me. No one’s ever been this serious with me before, that’s all.”

Zoro fully withdrew his hand. Sanji had expected him to taunt him a little for this reaction. He’d just blushed at a man’s love declaration. Not just any man either, but Zoro’s . Maybe this was the day he’d have to bury himself alive. 

When the silence drew out for too long, Sanji lowered his hands, peeking through his fingers at Zoro hesitantly. He dropped his arms and blinked in astonishment when he saw Zoro’s expression.

If Sanji had thought that he was being dumb with all the stupid blushing then Zoro was downright embarrassing. His skin had gone red from his forehead till his neck, a hand dragging over his flushed face as he sighed into it, eyebrows drawn down like he was angry. Sanji knew he wasn’t angry though. 

He was bashful.

“You’re kidding,” He said, and a small laugh escaped him, making Zoro redden even more if that was possible. “That’s an interesting face you're pulling there.”

“Fuck off.” Zoro tried to turn around but Sanji didn’t let him.

He caught Zoro by the shoulder to get a better look. It was fascinating, how he’d even started sweating from how hard he was blushing. Zoro tried to shove him away but Sanji easily dodged with how he apparently couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.

“Are you actually being shy?” Sanji asked, gleefully, “Oh, this is rich.”

“Asshole,” Zoro cursed, “I thought you said you weren’t gonna make fun of me?!”

“I take it back, this is way too fun.” 

“Fuck off! I’m leaving!”

Ah, shit. Sanji might’ve poked the sleeping dragon a bit too much. Oh, well. He chuckled to himself and walked after Zoro, knowing he’d have to make sure the idiot didn’t get lost by accident. 

Sanji realised that he’d probably cracked the code to Zoro. Not that he’d been a complicated individual to figure out from the start but now, he was almost too easy. 

It all started when Sanji needed help stocking up on supplies. Given how everything in the palace was free for their taking, he’d started doing the inventory for how much they needed for the next few weeks. With Luffy’s large stomach, they had to make sure the pantry was full enough before setting sail—who knew when their next supply stop would be?

Having that in mind, he’d decided to go shopping but, of course, he’d need a mule. He usually lugged Zoro around for these sorts of things so, naturally, Sanji called out to him when he saw Zoro passing by. 

“Hey, mossy! Since you’re free, come shopping with me,” Sanji said, catching Zoro by the arm before he could completely pass by. 

Zoro frowned, “Go do your own damn shopping! Momo said I could take the palace sake so I’m heading to the cellars.”

“We’ll put those on the ship too. Come on,” Sanji said. Zoro always needed a bit of convincing before he agreed. Usually a bit of blackmail too. When he saw the way Zoro’s expression stayed firm, ready to turn down Sanji again, an idea popped into his head, “If you help, I’d be grateful.”

He emphasised the last part with a sly bat of his eyelashes and watched Zoro start dancing in the palm of his hand.

“Why you—” Zoro blushed, furious and affected all the same. “You can’t just—I won’t—this isn’t… Where… Where do you need to go?”

Sanji bottled the laugh in, knowing how Zoro got once he felt a little too shy. He didn’t want to lose his mule, after all. This must be what Sanji was like to women. Seemed like incentive worked better than blackmail did after all.

So Zoro went shopping with Sanji on the first spree that he’d ever gone on where everything from the shops was for free. They carried a large amount of things back to the ship on a giant cart which was easy enough to get to shore with the help of Komachiyo. As soon as everything was packed on board the Sunny, Sanji saw Zoro heading out of the kitchen to leave.

“Hey, wait right there, stupid,” Sanji called out, annoyed. “For someone who's in love with me, you sure can’t wait to be away from me, huh?”

Zoro glared at him, his face reddening again. It had never been difficult to fluster Zoro but now, it was effortless. “Just shut up! Are you going to hold this over me forever?! I said I don’t need anything from you. Just act like normal, would you?”

Normal? True, he was being a little abnormal. He should’ve been downright uncomfortable at the thought of Zoro, a man with feelings for him, sharing the same space as him. Instead, Sanji felt right at home.  

“Sit down,” Sanji told him, ignoring what he’d said. “I’ll cook something up for you as a reward for your trouble. Let’s have a drink, while we’re at it.”

Zoro’s face brightened at the mention of alcohol and he hesitated at the door before closing it and coming back to sit at the counter. Sanji chuckled and got to work, deciding to go with simple drinking foods like chicken tenders. He felt Zoro staring holes into the back of his head while he worked and it wasn’t the first time this happened anyway.

At least now, he knew why Zoro did it. All the staring he always did should’ve made it obvious earlier. 

“Order’s up,” Sanji grinned, skillfully plating up the food and sliding it to the counter in practised movements. He opened up the bottom cabinet with his foot and pulled out a sake bottle along with two sake cups. 

He poured the sake out and bowed for a flourish. Zoro snorted at him in response. Rude.

“What’s with all the fanciness?” He asked, picking up his sake cup to down the booze in one go. “All this was unnecessary. The booze would’ve been enough.”

“As if,” Sanji scowled and sat down opposite him, picking up his own cup to sip at. “Alcohol breaks muscle down. If you don’t take in proper protein, you’ll be losing all those assets that help you fight.”

He watched Zoro peer down at his broad biceps, raising an eyebrow, “Nah, doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.”

To prove his point, he flexed his arm and Sanji rolled his eyes. “Men are insufferable.”

“Then why are you here, cooking me something?” Zoro asked, indifferently. He picked up one of the chicken tenders and popped it in his mouth, He chewed, eyebrows raising in delight at the taste. Sanji tried not to smile. 

He always received praise for his cooking but he’d never gotten it from Zoro. Verbally anyway. The way Sanji knew that he liked the food served up was from the small changes in his expression; a smoother brow, fast blinks and quick chewing.

“Like I said, it’s a reward.” He replied and reached out to ruffle Zoro’s short, green hair. It felt nice under his palm. Like a brush. 

“Hey, cut that out!” Zoro grumbled, ducking away from Sanji’s reach. “Seriously, what’s up with you?”

Sanji poured out another cup of sake for himself. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been acting fucking weird.”

He drank. Poured another. “Weird how?”

“You’re being nice.”

“I’m always nice.”

“You’re a stupid pushover who can’t leave people alone,” Zoro corrected, pouring out another cup for himself. “But you’re not nice. Not to guys. Not to me. You’re only nice to women like Nami and Robin—”

He paused and Sanji saw how his eye widened marginally. Zoro looked up at him incredulously and Sanji stared back, unwavering. He was slightly tipsy from downing all those cups of sake so quickly. He didn’t know why he’d done that but, seeing how much Zoro couldn’t wait to be away from him, Sanji felt somewhat offended.

He sniffed and drank another cup, pouring another one immediately. He sighed into the alcohol. 

“Is that what this is?” Zoro asked. 

“What?”

“You’re treating me like a woman.” He frowned. “It doesn’t make me more like a woman to be in love with you.”

That got a laugh out of Sanji. “You? A woman? From what angle?” He continued to chuckle over his sake cup, throwing his head back as he drank it up again. “If you were a woman, I wouldn’t be this troubled.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

He looked down into the liquid in his cup, seeing his faint reflection through it. He looked disconcerted. Why else was this such a problem? It’s because it was Zoro, someone who moved on too fast with everything. He’d almost moved on with his ambition to save Sanji’s life. 

He could one day move on from Sanji too.

It brought him to the precipice of the issue: What if Zoro’s ability to understand him had been because of his feelings for Sanji? And once he moved on from Sanji, would that mean they’d lose that understanding? It was frightening. 

“I don’t get what’s up with you but I already told you my bit. I can’t change who I am,” Zoro continued and downed another cup, reaching out for another piece of chicken. “You don’t have to change either. I’m fine with staying the way we’ve always been. We’re good like this.”

“And what if we don’t? Always stay the way we’ve been, I mean.” Sanji asked, thickly. “What if we change?”

He didn’t specify the type of change he was talking about. Whichever change it was, it could end up being catastrophic. 

“If we change then we change,” Zoro’s expression was unreadable, his severe, thin eyebrows drawn down in that perpetually fierce expression, “But I don’t see us changing anytime soon. Not for the worse and not until Luffy becomes Pirate King. I’m gonna put him on that throne, no matter what.”

Sanji stood up, ready to put away his cup. “Idiot,” He sighed, and Zoro looked up at him inquiringly. “That job’s not yours alone. We’re putting him on that throne. I won’t let you leave me behind.”

And there it was. That little, proud smile of his whenever he agreed with something Sanji said. Sanji would never admit that he made somewhat the same face when Zoro wasn’t looking. 

“That so?” He drank. “Cheers to that, then.”

Sanji turned away, hiding a smile. 

He’d definitely use his very effective charm to make Zoro do more chores again.

“Luffy, seriously? You even got your goodbye kiss!” Nami put her hands on her hips, annoyed at how Luffy lay on the lawn, crying his eyes out. It hadn’t even been half a day since they’d departed from Wano but he was missing Law already and making it everyone else’s problem. 

“Bu…” Luffy wept, his tears flowing straight onto the grass. “Buh I wanna shee him…” (tr: But I want to see him.)

“This is ridiculous!” Nami threw her hands up and walked away from him. “Sanji-kun, please tell me lunch will be ready soon. I can’t deal with this on an empty stomach.”

Sanji’s ears perked up and he flew to deck, peering down from the upper deck to look at Nami whose adorable outfit made her look even more angelic. “Of course, my love! Today’s menu is fried rice!”

“Yum!” Nami grinned. “I want some tangerines too.”

“I’ll peel them for you!!”

She smiled at him and Sanji’s heart squeezed. She was so cute, it hurt to look at. From above, Robin’s gentle giggle flew down in the wind and Sanji knew she’d heard everything from her perch near her garden. He beamed, getting back to work. 

Not before running into a moss-headed idiot glaring at him, though.

“What?” Sanji asked, frowning.

“Nothing.” Zoro rolled an eye, ready to walk past Sanji. 

Sanji caught his arm, “Hold up, there. You look free.”

“Oh fuck no. No, no. I’m not doing this—”

“It’s just setting the table.” Sanji insisted with a bright smile and pulled Zoro into the galley. “Come on.”

They walked into the dining area with Sanji practically having to haul Zoro in. It’d become easier to convince him to do things lately. Zoro had a soft spot in his heart and Sanji had memorised where it was. He didn’t poke at it; he didn’t have to. That tender area was his love, after all, and anyone Zoro loved only had to ask if they wanted something.

He hummed as he finished up the side dishes, the fried rice covered up in a giant wok on the stove, extra ingredients diced up and set on the counter for when he’d inevitably need to make a second batch. 

“Don’t you ever get annoyed that you’re the last person to eat?” Zoro asked, surprising Sanji. He rarely started a conversation.

“Worried about me?”

“Fuck off, don’t answer if you don’t want to.”

So quick to turn defensive. Sanji rarely got angry about it anymore. Nothing Zoro did seemed to irritate him like it used to. Maybe it was because he knew now, that all his harsh words and sour faces came from a place of affection. 

“I’m a cook, after all. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you guys eat my food,” Sanji grinned, plating up the stir-fried greens in a large serving bowl. Luffy wouldn’t touch those, so he didn’t need to make too much. “How about some beef and beans in rice wine sauce?”

“Anything with booze, I’m down.” 

“Thought so.”

Zoro came up to stand next to him as he cooked, peering into the pan curiously. Sanji smirked and poured in the wine. A flame burst forth from the pan, sending Zoro stumbling backwards, thoroughly startled. 

“Hahaha, chicken!” Sanji teased once the fire died down. He covered the pan with a lid and let it do its thing. “It’s just a little flambé.” 

“I don’t know what your fancy kitchen words mean.” Zoro glowered at him. “No wonder your eyebrows look so funny. The heat must be making it curl up.”

Sanji’s eyebrow twitched in offence like it had a mind of its own. Instead of taking the bait and bursting into a fight like he would’ve a few weeks ago, Sanji turned around with a cocky smile.

“Oh, please,” He scoffed, “You love my eyebrows. Admit it. Why else would you have such a fixation on them with all the name-calling and…”

He trailed off. He’d been expecting Zoro to get flustered at this, really. He’d expected him to get defensive again. What he didn’t expect was for Zoro to avert his gaze with pursed lips, chin lowered like he couldn’t face anyone at that moment, let alone Sanji.

“Seriously, what’s up with you…?” Zoro sighed into his hand, covering his expression. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah. I think your eyebrows are really goddamn pretty, just like the rest of you. S’that what you wanted to hear me say?”

Then it was Sanji’s turn to be the flustered one. Heat rushed to his face and he looked at the pan, opening up the lid to let the steam gush over his face. He could pretend this was why his skin got red. 

“Yeah, good job admitting it.” Sanji cleared his throat. “Now, go call everyone in for lunch.”

Zoro lingered for a moment before leaving the room and Sanji tried to calm his heart in the little time he had alone before he’d have to pretend like nothing was amiss.

Maybe Sanji had poked at his soft spot too much. Zoro didn’t even look at him for the next two days, despite Sanji calling out to him. It’d got to the point that the crew had started to find something off between them.

“You sure spend a lot of time with Zoro lately,” Usopp commented during breakfast, the one meal Zoro was rarely present for. “I didn’t notice until he started ignoring you.”

And that hurt a little. He’d refused to believe that Zoro was ignoring him until then. He’d gotten so used to thinking that Zoro would always be looking at him and now he wasn’t. It drove Sanji mad. Thankfully the topic quickly got diverted. 

Luffy was with the transponder snail again, trying for Law for the tenth time that morning. All he got in return was static. Not even a ring.

“Nami, I think the snail is broken!” He groused, frustrated. “I wanna talk to Torao and it won’t let me!”

“Just give it a rest, Luffy! Usopp will take a look at it later.” Nami groaned. She’d been the one to take the majority of the burden that Law’s absence left behind on Luffy. “Torao-kun is probably busy and out of signal range.”

“But I haven’t talked to him since we left Wano. I miss him.”

As Nami exasperatedly consoled Luffy while simultaneously eating her pancakes, Sanji went over his tasks mechanically. Being the cook of the ship gave him a lot of work to do, especially with how much the crew ate. 

He had no time to even think on a normal day yet he couldn’t stop thinking about Zoro. 

He spent the rest of the day puttering about the kitchen, answering Nami’s and Robin’s calls with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. They always managed to bring up his mood but this time, it didn’t work as well as it usually did. It was almost a little depressing that Usopp had noticed Zoro ignoring Sanji. He’d have liked to pretend that wasn’t what was happening.

Lunch had come and gone with Zoro just strolling in to eat before being pulled outside by Luffy. Dinner, he didn’t even show. 

It was well enough because now, Sanji had to go take dinner up to the crow’s nest so that the idiot wouldn’t starve. He packed a basket with some onigiri, fried chicken and sake. With this combination, there was no way that Zoro would be unhappy to see him.

He took the goods up to where Zoro was, prepared to wake him up with a kick so that they could act normal again but, when he reached the crow’s nest, saw that he was already awake. Going by the dumbbells placed nearby, it seemed like he’d not been sleeping to begin with.

It meant that he’d skipped dinner on purpose. 

Irked, Sanji tried to school his expression but, even then, couldn’t help throwing the basket of items at Zoro with a good amount of force. He caught it but clearly noticed Sanji's bitter mood.

“You didn’t have to come all the way up here,” He said and Sanji clenched his fists.

“Because you wanted to continue avoiding me?”

Zoro didn’t give any reaction to what Sanji said but he understood where this was going, no doubt. His lips thinned and he placed the basket on the floor, pulling out the food from within. Without a word, he started eating the chicken and onigiri.

Sanji walked to the lookout window and pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one up, several tries having been needed for the flame to catch properly. 

“What did I do?” Sanji asked, looking out to the sea. The water stretched over the horizon, their next destination still unknown. Zoro didn’t answer. “Is this how it’s gonna be now? Your love sure isn’t very strong if—”

BANG! 

Sanji turned around, coming to face Zoro who’d slammed his fisted arm against the wall. He looked upset. Not completely angry but a little. He met Sanji’s gaze and clenched his jaw.

“I get that I’m the one who wanted you to know about my feelings,” Zoro rasped, his deep voice turning gravelly, “But you’re not making this easy for me. I’m doing my best to keep things good between us.”

“When have things between us ever been good?”

“You’re just bent on annoying me today.” Zoro scratched his head frustratedly. “It’s all this shit you keep doing—What are you on? I told you we can go back to normal but you keep…”

Zoro cut himself off and Sanji pushed himself off the windowsill, walking towards him determinedly. 

“Keep what?” Sanji took his cigarette between his fingers and puffed out the smoke, watching as it dispersed over Zoro whose frown had indented into his face. “Go on.”

 “...Nothing.” 

He dusted his hands, the food all gone from the basket now. Only the sake remained. Sanji had a lot of fights to pick with Zoro ever since joining Luffy’s crew but wasted food had never been one of them. It had always been something Zoro respected, which made Sanji begrudgingly respect him in turn.

The untouched sake was new though and it set Sanji’s heart aflame.

Just as Zoro stood up to walk past him—maybe leave his lookout post to Usopp—Sanji caught him by the elbow. 

“Keep what?” Sanji repeated, a little angry, a little desperate. Part of him wanted the answer from someone else. Part of him believed that it was something he couldn’t decide himself. “Tell me what, you bloody—”

“You keep doing shit that makes me think I have a goddamn—” Zoro caught Sanji by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall roughly, crowding into his space. “A goddamn fucking… chance.”

He hung his head tiredly, his short, sweat-damp hair brushing against Sanji’s chin. Sanji had never seen Zoro look defeated before. Not in front of anyone and especially not in front of him. The realisation that he was the reason Zoro was like this made his heart and mind race.

“Let me have this,” Zoro choked out, not lifting his head. His voice had gone small. “I just needed a bit of time. When I told you how I felt… I didn’t think it would be this hard. I thought you’d put me out of my misery but…”

“But what…?” Sanji whispered, afraid to talk louder. Like every heartbeat could be easily audible if he wasn’t careful. 

Zoro finally looked up at him and his molten gaze fixed on Sanji, making him swallow, prepared to ask the question again. Then he caught the way Zoro’s eye followed the movement of his mouth. Their breaths mingled, their chests rising and falling together and Sanji’s mind fogged up.

He didn’t know who moved first—it could’ve been either of them—but the next thing he knew, his cigarette was pulled out of his mouth like it was an inconvenience and then he was pressed up against the wall. He didn’t even realise what was really happening until he found himself holding Zoro’s face, their lips crushed together hungrily. 

A firm hand gripped Sanji’s waist, pulling him closer. Their chests pressed against each other, their hearts beating in time with one another just like they did in battle. Their instincts were primitive in execution but intricate in function and no one else understood them better than they did. 

Zoro's mouth was hot and eager over his, claiming Sanji’s lips for himself. The mildly sweet flavour of rice transferred to Sanji’s tongue, muting the smoky aftertaste of his cigarette, dulling everything around him until it fell away.

It felt good. Sanji couldn’t believe how good it felt.

Just as suddenly as it started though, Zoro tore his mouth away from Sanji’s, pushing him against the wall and holding him at a distance.

“Shit!” Zoro swore, his face contorting. He looked up at Sanji, his lips shiny with saliva, looking fuller than usual. “Fuck, what did we just—no. No, I can’t deal with this. This didn’t happen.”

If anything, the one who said that line should’ve been Sanji. Instead, the one who was hurt by it was him. No words came out of his mouth. He couldn’t move, unable to think about how to proceed. His ears roared, his heart went into overdrive and every sensation against his skin intensified, making his suit feel too heavy to wear.

It looked like Zoro would’ve just left Sanji there but his silence seemed to unease both of them.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Zoro told him and Sanji wondered if he looked troubled enough to warrant that oddly gentle tone. “A kiss or two doesn’t make you gay. I know you aren’t, better than anyone.”

“I’m not,” Sanji agreed, croaking out the words. He also knew that. He loved women—worshipped them, even. Masturbated to them nearly every day. Zoro and all the other guys had seen his magazines and there was no room for doubt about his attraction to women. 

But no woman had ever made him feel the burn that Zoro did. It was familiar; a spike of adrenaline when geared up for a fight that singed his body, repeated when Zoro’s lips had pressed against his just then. 

Sanji had held a deep disgust for men but he knew it hadn’t always existed. Maybe it’d stemmed from the cruelty displayed by his father and brothers. 

Healing had come slow and hard through Zeff’s rough love. Men with kindness re-entered his life slowly. Friendship through Usopp, an older brother in Franky, a younger one in Chopper, a kinship with Brook and respect towards Jinbei. A place to belong—that was given by Luffy. But Zoro… 

He’d forced Sanji to reclaim himself. He couldn’t remember what it was like to be the person who’d give up on his dreams at the drop of a hat anymore. Zoro had shown him how to not be that person and now—

“We agree then,” Zoro said, softly, cutting into his thoughts. “This won’t repeat.”

If you’re so okay with that, Sanji couldn’t help thinking, taking in the pained squint of Zoro’s unscarred eye, the tremble in his voice, the flare of his nostrils, Why do you look like that?

“What… what if it does?” He asked, his voice even smaller than Zoro’s. As if there was someone else in the room to hear them talk. 

Zoro took it at face value. He did not assume that Sanji wanted to do it again like most people would have.

“It can’t. We can’t let it. Luffy is almost there,” Zoro gripped one of his swords tight. “He’s almost king… and he’s my priority.” 

Of course, this was why Sanji understood Zoro so well. He sighed through his nose, jaw tensing. “...He’s mine too.”

“I know.”

And that was where they had to end it. Talking any more would get them nowhere. Between how they had an innate understanding of each other but rarely talked, neither knew what more to say anyway.

The tea he’d brewed to perfection splashed out of the delicate porcelain tea cup as Sanji attempted to pour it in. 

“Shit,” He cursed under his breath, checking to make sure he didn’t spill any on Robin. They were on the deck and she was sitting by her garden, reading a book while taking in some morning sun. “Sorry, Robin-chan. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Robin said, her intelligent eyes roaming over him calculatingly. 

Nearby, Usopp was tinkering away with the transponder snail. He’d reset it several times but it still didn’t seem to connect to the Heart Pirates’ snail. Luffy was quickly getting impatient. 

“They definitely made it to Winner Island,” Nami said, frowning at the map in her hands. “Maybe their Log Pose already set and now they’re too deep in the sea to get a signal?”

“No way!” Luffy stomped his foot.

“Likely,” Usopp sighed, ignoring him, and gave up when the snail didn’t connect once again. “I mean, what exactly could happen to them? Torao is an actual monster in battle. Any pirate or marine wanting to attack him would be out of their minds.”

Nami nodded, “Yeah, you’re right.” 

That conclusion didn’t please Luffy. He couldn’t care less about the hows or whys. He’d wanted to talk to Law for the past several days and had gotten fidgety to the point that he had to sleep out on the figurehead to get any shut-eye. The only reason they knew that Law was fine was because Bepo’s Vivre Card still energetically twitched to their east. 

Sanji’s gaze strayed from this very obvious centre of attention to a short brush of green hair blending into the lawn where Zoro lay, snoring away. 

“You’ve been distracted lately,” Robin said, startling Sanji. She placed her chin in her hand, leaning forward on her tall tea table. “I don’t mind lending an ear if you need to talk.”

Her offer made him smile, almost stupidly happy at the kind attention she showered. “Are you worried about me?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Slightly surprised, Sanji shook his head fondly and continued cleaning up the table, “Maybe I’m losing my mind.”

“Why do you say that?” 

Sanji didn’t answer. What exactly could he tell Robin? Zoro had made it very clear how he wanted to proceed and, strictly speaking, that was the smartest move to make considering where their priorities lay. He let his eyes drift to the lithe figure in a red cardigan, his straw hat swaying as he occasionally pressed it down on his head. 

Luffy had done too much and came too far for them to selfishly risk the relationship between their crew. Zoro was indispensable to Luffy and Sanji had only just come to terms with the fact that he was the same. As close as they were to finding the One Piece, Luffy would need them stronger than ever. Not anchored down by something fleeting. 

“If you’re considering Luffy with whatever is troubling you, I’d say: don’t,” Robin remarked casually and Sanji was almost scared that her Devil Fruit let her read minds too. “After all, he and Torao are proof enough that not everything needs to follow a pattern set in stone. Don’t you think so?”

She was observant. Sanji loved that about her. Though, right then, it made him chuckle nervously. Made him feel too seen. “Luffy is our captain. He can do what he wants.”

“He’s not the type of captain who wouldn’t let you do what you want, though. Is he? Not if it’s something you truly want.” 

Sanji paused, realising he was over-cleaning the table. It had nothing left on it to wipe off. He swallowed, folding the cloth and placing it aside. 

Behind him, Luffy whined again. He was restless but it was only to be given. He heard Nami give a rundown on what they would do once they reached the next island so that they could get in touch with the Heart Pirates, purely for Luffy’s comfort. 

The freest man in the world would want his crew to be free too. Suddenly, Sanji couldn’t help but wonder what he and Zoro had been worried about all this time. 

“Sanji?” Robin’s melodious voice called and he blinked. She smiled at him. “Did you figure something out?”

“...Not really,” Sanji grinned slowly, He took her hand in his and leaned down to brush a kiss over it. “But thank you.”

She giggled softly, retrieving her hand leisurely, “My pleasure.”

He found Zoro in the crow’s nest early that morning. It was so early that it was still dark out  and Sanji had specially woken up for this because he knew that any other time was easily avoidable.  

Zoro’s green coat was bunched up at his waist as he counted his one-armed thumb push-ups. Sanji puffed out smoke from his mouth where his cigarette continued to burn itself. 

“What’re you doing up at this hour?” Zoro asked, barely glancing at him as he continued his exercise. 

“Couldn’t sleep, obviously.” Sanji bit back, examining him from the corner of his eye. 

He had a broad back, large arms and a thick neck so of course, there had never been a doubt about him being a man in every sense of the word. It was just the first time Sanji had been able to appreciate masculinity in any form. 

“I’ve been thinking,” He admitted and took a drag, releasing the smoke. Zoro had never minded it anyway. “That we’ve been dumb.”

“Speak for yourself,” Zoro replied, like the asshole he was. “What is it now?”

Sanji didn’t like how brightly lit the crow’s nest was because the rest of the ship was bathed in darkness and he wanted to make it less daunting to be there. He turned off one of the bulbs, letting the surroundings dim—an action that alerted Zoro to sit on his haunches. 

“Luffy is going to become King of the Pirates,” Sanji said abruptly, and didn’t have to look at Zoro to see him nod.

“Yeah.”

“And he’s going to do that whether or not you love me,” He met Zoro’s gaze. Steeled himself. “Whether or not I decide to accept that.”

Zoro’s brow wrinkled. “...What are you talking about?”

“I’m not going to pretend like I like men. I hate them,” Sanji bluntly stated, and Zoro’s face grew confused. Sanji could feel a blush crawl up his neck. He couldn’t believe he was doing this but it had been enough already. He’d spent enough time agonising over Zoro to realise what this meant. “But you’re like my leg.”

“Your… leg?” Zoro asked incredulously, “What.”

“Don’t look at me like that, bastard. You’re making me over explain because your gorilla brain can’t comprehend simple language,” Sanji grumbled and saw Zoro’s shoulders tense, ready to fall back into pattern and argue. Sanji didn’t let him. “I’m saying that you’re as good as a part of me. Without you, I can’t even fight like normal. Your stupid ‘love’ shit was just the cherry on top to make me confused about all this.”

“I don’t get it. What’s there to be confused about?” Zoro got to his feet and dusted his clothed knees. “You don’t like men.”

“No, I fucking hate them. Weren’t you listening to me?!” 

“I am and you’re making my head fucking spin! What does this have to do with me?!”

“Everything! Just—fucking everything! Not just you either but everyone in this crew!” Sanji clenched his fists and bit down on his cigarette. “I grew up being surrounded by the absolute worst type of men. Heartless monsters. They’d treat me like a punching bag, not like a living creature, and the only kindness I got was from my mother and sister. They saved me, do you get that?!”

He could tell Zoro was just listening to him now. He never created any conclusions, never gave any unnecessary sympathy and only nodded. “...Yeah, ‘kay.”

“That’s changed now.”

“Because of Luffy?”

Sanji laughed wetly, and his cigarette burnt out. He pinched the tip, and let it fall. “Not just him.”

“You’re really beating around the bush here. What are you so scared of?”

Scared? Yeah, Sanji was a real coward. The only times he could pick up his courage without fail was when he wanted to catch up with this green, muscled part of him that couldn’t mind his own business. 

“Change,” Sanji admitted, looking at the ground. “I’m afraid of changing into someone I'm not. And the only one I trust enough to stop me when that happens is you.”

“I already told you I’d stop you. I’ll kill you too if you need me to,” Zoro told him and Sanji smiled crookedly up at him, meeting his stern face. “But I’ll do it broken. So, I’m begging you… don’t put me in that position.”

Sanji’s smile promptly fell. He searched for some hint of exaggeration on Zoro’s end but he was open in a way Sanji had never seen before. He was almost fragile to look at.

It kindled a spark of a dormant emotion and then, Sanji’s body moved on its own. Within three long strides, Sanji reached him and put his arms around Zoro, pulling him into a strong embrace. It was tough and perhaps slightly more bone-breaking than he’d intended it to be but this time, he didn’t have to be gentle. Zoro could handle this. Probably needed it. 

“You’ve been giving me mixed signals,” Zoro said and Sanji sighed, moving one hand to the back of Zoro’s head.

“I haven’t.”

“Then what the fuck is this?”

“A signal.”

A beat.

Zoro’s arms came around Sanji at an almost glacial pace, taking even longer to firm up their hold around him. He dropped his face on Sanji’s shoulder. “You hate men.”

“I do,” Sanji breathed, taking deep inhales, “But there are things I still have to figure out too.”

“Is this one of them?”

Chuckling, Sanji took the opportunity to ruffle Zoro’s hair. He knew how Zoro hated that but, even then, he didn’t protest. “No. This part, I’ve already figured out. Now, I need you to do it.”

Zoro pulled away from him to peer down at him questioningly. “What?”

“I come with a fuckton of baggage,” Sanji started, going over the list in his head, “And there’s stuff we won’t be able to solve with just a fistfight anymore. Not to mention…I won't change how I act with women, probably. If it comes down to whether I have to save you or a woman, I would choose the lady.” 

The fog over Zoro’s face cleared up the longer Sanji talked and colour entered his cheeks as he finally figured out what Sanji was getting at. 

“As if I’d need you to save me like I’m some fucking damsel in distress,” Zoro snorted. “And for your information, I’d choose the lady too. I know you can help yourself.”

“That’s my boy,” Sanji praised, patting his head and watching with no small amount of delight when Zoro went red. “If you ever save me over Nami-san or Robin-chan, I’ll break up with you.” 

“...Since when were we together?”

“Since just now,” Sanji answered, matter-of-factly.  

Zoro groaned, burying his face in the crook of Sanji’s neck. He stayed there for so long that Sanji would’ve pushed him away if he didn’t speak when he did. 

“I must be dreaming.” He mumbled and it amused Sanji. “This is a really good fucking dream. You smell exactly like yourself.”

“I know I’m asking for too much but stop being stupid,” Sanji teased and beat his back a few times. His face twisted when he felt the chill in the air. It was so sudden that it was jarring and Zoro lifted his head, sensing his discomfort. “Shit, it’s getting cold. The next island must be a winter one…”

“I can warm you up,” Zoro grinned, tightening his arms around Sanji. He leaned in, clearly pushing his luck and going for the kill. 

Sanji shoved him away with a hand on his face. “After you bathe and brush your teeth, maybe. Let go of me, dumbass. I need to prepare for breakfast.”

Tutting, Zoro withdrew his arms, disillusioned about the supposed intimacy he had falsely assumed would be inherently allowed. Sanji tousled his hair one last time before leaving the crow’s nest, happily ignoring the indignant yelling that followed him out.

Usopp squinted his eyes as he watched Sanji hum pleasantly, looking way too chipper for how damn cold the morning was to wake up to. He’d been cooking eggs for everyone depending on how they wanted it, serving them up as people entered the dining room.

“Huh?” Chopper said, looking around and taking a seat next to Usopp. “Where’s Luffy?”

Nami, who had bundled herself up in a coat, sipped on her hot coffee, answering, “He already ate. He’s in the usual place now. I think we’ll have to redirect the ship though. He’s been really worried about Torao-kun.”

“A wise idea, Nami-san,” Sanji sang, twirling over to place a plate of hot over-easy eggs and toast in front of her. “Would you like some stewed fruit porridge too, my dear?”

“Please,” Nami shivered and took a few more sips of coffee. “Anything hot.”

“I like this weather,” Chopper said happily. His fur had gone fluffy to retain heat and he looked extra cuddly. “It’s perfect.”

“I agree!” Brook said, eating his toast messily, dropping the crumbs on himself even with the napkin tucked into his shirt. “Though I can’t really feel anything since I don’t have skin!”

Usopp sat closer to Chopper, hoping to let some of his innate body warmth transfer to him. His teeth chattered and he drank up the tea Sanji had given him. Being near the stove all morning, he probably didn’t feel as cold as the rest of the crew. 

The door slammed open, letting another gust of cold wind flood into the mess. Zoro stepped inside, forcefully shutting it as soon as protests at the icy air filled the room. He scowled at everyone.

“It’s not that cold.” He said, and Usopp stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re kidding right?” He asked, feeling cold just by looking at Zoro who wore a warm coat but, for some godforsaken reason, kept it open and was completely shirtless.

“Of course, he’s kidding,” Sanji scoffed, pouring something into a cup. “He’s probably just doing some stupid willpower training again.”

“I can barely feel the cold,” Zoro claimed gruffly, dropping down to sit next to Nami, “I want some sake.”

Usopp waited for Sanji to yell at him for speaking impudently but, instead, he walked over and placed a cup of coffee in front of Zoro. Naturally, Zoro looked down at it in dissatisfaction and confusion.

“There’s whiskey in the coffee,” Sanji smiled at him, “You better drink something hot if you insist on walking around like that. Rolled omelettes and rice okay with you?”

Zoro, who apparently didn’t see anything off with Sanji's behaviour, just nodded his approval and obediently sipped the coffee. 

The same could not be said for Usopp whose jaw would’ve dropped to the sea floor if it’d been possible. He wanted to confirm that he wasn't the only one who just saw Sanji smile at Zoro with Zoro actually just listening to him in return, and looked around at the rest of the crew. 

Thankfully, he hadn't been hallucinating. Chopper blinked in confusion, his blue nose twitching, and Brook laughed softly, turning his skull head to them keenly as if they were new entertainment. Nami just shifted her eyes between Sanji and Zoro, completely baffled but just as hesitant as everyone else to ask any questions. 

Robin lifted her head from the book she was reading in the corner of the room, a teacup in one hand. “Oh? Did you resolve matters?”

Sanji looked over his shoulder, cheeks reddening slightly. Or maybe that was a trick of the light. “Oh, yeah. Thanks, Robin-chan. Would you like a refill?”

“Yes, please.”

Before anyone else could ask any more questions, the ship rocked a bit and Nami got up from her seat. “Ugh! Oh no… I think we’ve entered a blizzard.” She groaned, “Everyone, finish up breakfast fast. We’ll need all hands on deck as soon as possible.”

“Aye.” Was the unanimous response.

They all rushed to finish breakfast and headed out quickly, Nami leading them. Before Usopp left the dining room though, he could’ve sworn he saw Sanji yank Zoro back in with an elbow caught on his neck. 

Later, when those two emerged on deck, both their faces were red but Zoro just grumbled and sat down at the mast while Sanji grinned and followed all of Nami’s orders like nothing was amiss so Usopp decided it wasn’t any of his business.

For now.