Work Text:
Husk was ever the gentleman, and it was driving Angel crazy .
His relationship with the handsome barkeep was unlike any he’d ever been in, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not in the least. Angel felt like he was glowing everytime Husk treated him like he was something special, each romantic gesture making him feel like the protagonist of some cheesy paperback.
It was only because such things came from Husk that Angel was sure they were sincere. The cat never said anything that he didn’t mean. Nothing he did was a ploy to entice him, flatter him, trap him. In fact, it was nothing like the way Valentino had drawn him in and seduced him. Everything about Valentino was overboard, fast, overwhelming.
Husk was… slow.
And it was fine. Sort of. Ugh.
Angel realized he was gripping his own hair to the point it was painful, and loosened his fingers with a sigh, wishing the hand in his hair was Husk’s instead.
Currently, he was sitting on the cold tile floor, avoiding facing a mountain of dishes in the hotel’s kitchen. Nifty was out of commission with a miserable sounding flu. Charlie had taken the opportunity to introduce a new chore system for the hotel residents, claiming it was an excellent chance to “build character”.
“With twice as many hands, I’m sure you’ll be done twice as fast!” Charlie had assured when she pushed Angel into the kitchen just ten minutes ago.
The spider hadn’t even turned on the tap yet, instead choosing to slump to the floor and mindlessly scroll his phone. While doom scrolling, he’d seen photos of some other cat-shaped sinner, which had his mind drifting to thoughts of Husk. His thoughts had started out as wholesome reminiscing of his partner, but had slowly spiraled into…
He couldn’t help it. Just thinking about him made him feel warm. Warm in knowing he had someone who cared so much about him, but also warm in the way his heart beat faster at the thought that those hands were his to hold, those lips were his to kiss, those ears were his to stroke.
…Just his ears. So far, at least.
Was Husk just an old-fashioned gentleman? It showed in the way Husk would hold the door open for him, in the way he would take the leading role when they danced, in the way he would hold the umbrella when they walked in the rain, walking closest to the road so that passing cars would splash on him and not Angel.
Angel never once felt like a gazelle in the sights of a lion when he was with Husk. He wasn’t prey to be pounced on the moment they were alone. He felt like a person. He felt like an equal. He felt respected.
Surely that was a good thing. So why was Angel feeling so conflicted?
Here alone, in the kitchen where he was avoiding his responsibilities, unwelcome thoughts were swarming in Angel’s brain.
You’re not his type.
Angel pushed himself off of the tile floor, jumping to his feet and turning to face the dishes. Maybe he’d finally found the motivation-- anything to escape his own mind.
Why would he want you that way?
Angel set his dress gloves aside, donning rubbery, garish yellow dish gloves instead.
Maybe he thinks you’re fragile. Broken after everything you’ve been through. After all, you’re the one who’s been spilling your guts to him. Why the fuck did you do that, anyway? Embarrassing.
Angel winced as the pile of dishes toppled the moment he reached for the faucet handle. The sound of the crash had him freezing up, holding his breath, until he was certain nothing had broken. He really didn’t need to be reminded of the sound of one of Valentino’s tantrums.
You’re just ungrateful. After all the kindness Husk has shown to you, you’re greedy for more than you deserve.
The warmth of the soapy water felt nice through the gloves, but the sound of the running faucet wasn’t loud enough to drown out Angel’s thoughts. He put his energy into scrubbing.
What would Husk think if he knew what kind of degenerate thoughts you had about him?
Angel held a spoon in front of his face, glaring at his warped reflection. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that much of a shock,” he mumbled. “It’s me, after all.”
Maybe he’s trying to change you. Fix you, because he doesn’t like you as you are and wishes you were someone you aren’t. Someone better.
Angel scowled deeply, fingers fumbling as he scrubbed a plate so hard it slipped out of his grip.
The things you want make you a bad person.
“Mind if I give you these?”
Angel jumped a foot into the air. “Fuck!” He spun around to see Husk, who was holding a tray with some shot glasses and a few stirring spoons. “I didn’t even hear you come in,” he accused, a hand over his heart.
Husk chuckled, gently putting the tray and its contents into the sink. “Glad to see you’re taking dish duty so seriously. Maybe I’ll hire you at the bar.”
Angel brought his hands up to frame his face, batting his eyelashes. “Aww, but I’m too pretty to work in the back!”
Husk smiled up at him, then stood up on his toes, giving Angel a chaste kiss on the lips. “Sure are. That’s why I’d keep you in the back, so I could have you all to myself.”
“Oooh, is that sooo?” Angel draped his lower arms over Husk’s hips, pulling him closer.. “And what exactly would ya do with me?”
Husk’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the gesture, before returning to their usual calm, half-lidded expression as he gazed up at Angel. “I wouldn’t let you leave until every glass was shining as brightly as your eyes.”
As his heart swelled with affection, Angel couldn’t help but throw his dish-gloved arms over Husk’s shoulders, kissing the man he found himself to be so in love with.
His heart ached only slightly when Husk slipped out of his hold. “Don’t think that I came here to distract you. I wouldn’t wanna get in trouble with Charlie. Get back to it, and maybe I’ll think about giving you a raise,” he teased, gently tapping a claw against Angel’s nose.
Angel lowered his line of sight down Husk’s body. “I’d love to raise somethin’.”
In response, Husk dipped his hand under the faucet, flicking droplets of water into Angel’s face. The spider laughed, raising his arms in weak defense.
Once Husk left the kitchen, Angel felt his shoulders droop.
Am I the problem?
***
God, Angel Dust made it difficult for Husk to behave himself.
He’d nearly given in to the temptation to ditch his duties and make out with the spider in the kitchen for anyone to walk in on. He wanted nothing more in the world than to get his hands on that pretty waist, press Angel up against the nearest wall, let his hands roam under those tight fitting clothes…
Husk shook his head, ears twitching. If he didn’t stay focused right now, he could take a rather unpleasant tumble. Charlie had decided to assign him with the chore of window washing due to his griffon-like wings. Husk didn’t get the chance to fly very often, and he found himself quickly growing tired, especially while carrying a toolbelt of various window washing accessories.
His current mental battle wasn’t just about staying focused. These sorts of thoughts always came with a hefty amount of shame.
Husk’s reflection in the window stared back at him, giving him no choice but to face exactly what he was-- an animal. But that was no excuse for him to act like one. He distorted his reflection with several hefty sprays from a bottle of chemicals, swiping a rag over the glass as if he could wash the thoughts from his mind.
Heaven (and Hell, and just about everybody) only knew that Angel had enough of that sort of treatment in his life. Husk wanted to treat Angel better, wanted to be better for Angel. He was determined to be different from Angel’s previous affairs in every way possible. Sure, maybe it was Charlie’s messages about love and kindness and yadda-yadda rubbing off on him. But it was also a matter of Husk’s dignity, as well as his genuine love for the man he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to call his boyfriend.
Once the window was clear, Husk jabbed a finger at his reflection. “It’s not about you,” he scolded himself. “This is about Angel. This is about treating him with love, patience, and respect.” Angel deserved all the most gentle affection in the world. The barkeep was diligent in treating the spider to every romantic gesture known to humanity, from kissing the back of his many hands, to letting him borrow his suit jacket on chilly evenings, to tender and innocent massages on days Angel was left sore from work.
It was simply best not to think about sinking his teeth into that slender neck, pinning him down into his mattress, raking his claws down those pretty legs, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to draw out the prettiest of sounds--
Husk let his forehead hit the window with a thunk. Great, now he’d have to wash it again.
“Maybe he deserves better than an animal like me,” he grumbled to himself, feeling a pang of remorse. It was times like these he really wanted to believe in Charlie’s “redemption” bullshit. Angel seemed to really be trying his best at it, after all, and it made Husk want to do anything just to be half the man that his boyfriend deserved.
Something light bounced off of his head, startling him back into the present. He looked up, spotting the culprit: Angel, who was standing out on his balcony and aiming another crumpled piece of paper at him with a grin. It missed.
Husk lightheartedly flipped him off, hoping it wasn’t evident from this distance just how fast his pupils dilated at the sight of his loved one, drowning out his gold irises. “Can’t you see I’m working? Don’t you have shit you’re s’posed to be doing too?”
“Oh, please, I finished my job ages ago. It’s nearly sunset and you’re still out here? Damn, you’re slow.” Angel stuck out his tongue, eyes sparkling with humour.
Husk flew his way up to Angel’s balcony, appreciating the chance to let his wings rest as he stood on the outside of the railing. “I want to see you try to wash all fifty fucking million of these damn windows. ‘Cept you’d have to do it the old fashioned way, nothing but ropes and prayers between you and becoming a pancake on the pavement.”
“Ropes, you say?” Angel purred, reaching out a hand to stroke at Husk’s wing feathers. The spider always seemed fascinated by them, and Husk could see it in his eyes and feel it in his gentle touch just how much he admired them. “I got some ropes we could use, baby. Would you do the honours and get me all tied up?”
Banter. It was only banter. This was the way they talked all the time. But, of course, the mental image was as instant and vivid as a polaroid in Husks’ mind. His feathers fluffed up, out of his control, and Angel’s eyes widened as he felt it happen under his fingers.
Quick, he needed a diversion.
Husk aimed the spray bottle at Angel, getting who-knows-what cleaning chemicals in his hair.
“What the fuck?” Angel spluttered, shrinking back as if he were the cat here.
“Trying to clean that dirty mind of yours,” Husk said, hoping his joke came across as smooth instead of rushed.
Angel, while using two of his hands to fix his hair, put the other two on his hips. “Oh, I’m the dirty one? Says the guy who’s gotten me wet twice today.”
Husk snorted, poorly hiding his growing smirk behind a hand. “Shut up.”
“You know I’m not good at staying quiet, baby.”
…Did he know that? The only film (if you could even call it that) he’d ever seen of Angel was the one they were all forced to watch on “show and tell” day. On principle, he avoided anything produced by the Vees.
Instead, his mind helpfully provided him with a clipshow of every time he’d gotten a soft, genuine moan out of Angel, not one played up for an audience. And then his mind unhelpfully supplied him with the prompt of, imagine what you would get to hear if you finally went all the way.
Resting his elbows on the balcony railing, he let his face fall into his hands.
“You alright?” Angel asked, sounding sincerely worried.
Husk scrubbed at his eyes with his palms. “Yup. Just tired. Fuck it, I’ll finish the rest of the windows tomorrow. Or maybe I won’t, who gives a shit.”
“Yeah, you deserve a break, amore .” Angel cupped a hand over Husk’s cheek, thumb gently brushing over his sensitive whiskers. “You know my bed’s big enough for two. Come get some beauty sleep.”
This would really be a test of Husk’s strength. He wasn’t actually all that sleepy, he had just been using his tiredness as an excuse. However, he had never turned down Angel’s requests for companionship at night, the innocent kind that was there to listen to him ramble until he fell asleep and soothe him after any nightmares. It was the least he could do.
Husk climbed over to the other side of the railing, following Angel into his room.
Angel closed the balcony doors, then the curtains. “Y’know,” he said with his back turned to Husk, “I’m gonna have to wash my hair of whatever chemical shit you just got in it.”
“My bad, love,” Husk said, knowing how important skin and hair care was to his partner. He truly had just panicked earlier. He wished his body didn’t have such stupid tells about how exactly Angel affected him.
“And god knows you probably reek of that stuff yourself. So I was thinking…” Angel still faced away from Husk, hands gripping at the curtains. “You could wash my hair, I wash yours?”
Husk’s heart raced immediately at the suggestion, which only made his anxiety grow. Showering together could be a totally romantic, sweet, innocent activity. But for god’s sake, not now . Husk wouldn’t be able to act like a normal fucking person right now, and there’s no way he could fight all of his body’s dead giveaways. This former gambling overlord may have a master poker face, but that didn’t extend below the neck.
His heart sank into his stomach as he tried to come up with a gentle way to turn down Angel’s offer. If Angel was looking for something sweet, he didn’t want to be the one to ruin it. Didn’t want to be the one that made it weird. Wanted only to be the partner Angel deserved, which meant not acting anything like his obsessive, horny fans or disrespectful, rough coworkers.
Don’t think about Angel in the shower, water running down his hair, his chest, his legs. Don’t think about running your fingers through his hair. Don’t think about how soft it would be to feel him up while washing his body. Don’t think about him getting on his knees, making eye contact with you as he—
He must have hesitated for too long, because Angel was speaking again. “Nevermind,” he said with a small laugh. “You go first. I, uh, forgot I usually take Fat Nuggets for a walk right about now. Feel free to borrow any of my sweatpants for sleeping in, bottom drawer. Uhm, see ya in a lil bit.”
“Oh, uh—” Husk couldn’t think of a response before Angel left him in the room alone.
I think there’s something seriously wrong with me.
***
When Husk left the bathroom, freshly showered and indeed wearing a comfortable (and way too long) pair of his boyfriend’s sweatpants, the first thing he saw was that Angel had returned. The spider was sitting on the edge of his bed, fingers nervously fidgeting, eyes downcast.
“How was the walk?”
Angel didn’t look up at him. “I need to talk to you.”
Husk walked over, sitting next to him, but not close enough for their legs to touch. “I’m listening.”
To Husk’s horror, tears were welling up in Angel’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he blurted, voice already choked up. “God, I’m sorry I’m like this. You deserve better.”
Husk blinked. “What in Hell are you talking about?”
“I’m too much. I’m such a perv. I feel like such a jerk for wishing—” Angel’s eyes lifted to the ceiling, as if trying to stop the tears from falling. “You’re the most wonderful boyfriend I’ve ever had and you have no idea how grateful I am for everything you do. But I can’t help but wonder if you even want to, like, touch me.”
Husk’s brow furrowed in confusion as he reached out to take one of Angel’s hands in his own. “Of course I do. What’s this about?”
Angel squeezed his hand. “I just… wish I knew whether or not you wanted me. Like, wanted me, in that way or not. Cuz you’re just— you’re always gentle. And that’s great, I’m not complaining. Or maybe I am?” Angel made a frustrated growl that seemed to be directed at himself, fingers nervously digging into his own arms. “And I feel terrible for wishing that maybe you wouldn’t be. For all I know you’re thinking you can make me into someone that isn’t me .”
“No,” Husk reassured him, “I knew what I was signing up for.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re holding back all the time?”
“I’m trying to be respectful.”
After a pause, Angel turned to face Husk, hands reaching out to grab him by the shoulders. “I want you to disrespect me.”
Husk’s cheeks burned immediately. “But… I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be another scumbag who just uses you, hurts you.”
Angel exhaled through his nose. “It’s different. It’s different because it’s you. It’s different because I want you to. I’m giving you permission.” He took his hands away from Husk. “I’m sorry if that’s, like… not what you’re into. Guess I’m also worried that—” He laughed nervously, shakily. “—that you’re not into me.”
Husk wasted no time pulling Angel into a hug so tight Angel nearly squeaked like one of Lucifer’s rubber ducks. “I’m sorry,” he said, eyes shut tight and face half buried in Angel’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way.” He loosened his grip so he wasn’t crushing the (after)life out of his partner, but still held onto him, thinking of what to say next. “To be be honest, I’ve been worried that I’m actually way too fuckin’ into you.”
“Wait… what?” Angel laughed softly, bewildered. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
Husk was grateful that they were having this conversation in a way he didn’t need to make eye contact, but could still be close and personal. He chose to stare at the photos Angel had strung up around the room alongside his fairy lights. “I’ve been battling with my own thoughts lately, and can’t help but feel all this… guilt, shame, whatever the fucking difference is. I know I’ve scoffed at Charlie’s being-a-good-person preachin’, but I find that, deep down, there are certain things about my character I need to hold true. Such as… I don’t ever wanna hurt you. I don’t wanna be that kind of partner. I don’t want to be an-- an animal.” Husk’s volume dropped so quietly it was lucky he was speaking so closely to Angel or he wouldn’t have been heard. “But what if that’s what I am? I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I hurt you and I don’t think I’d deserve forgiving.”
It took Angel a moment to respond. “I mean… what if I wanna be hurt?”
“Angel--”
The spider interrupted, “I’m not joking, Husk. You don’t gotta feel guilty for, what, wanting to be rough with me? Is that what this is?” He exhaled through his nose in amusement. “Did you grow up Catholic or something?”
“What?”
“I’m half kiddin’.” Angel no longer sounded close to tears, confidence returning to his voice. “I think I get what’s going on now. I’m not made of sugar glass, amore. Don’t you know I’d like near anythin’ you’d wanna do with me?”
“But what kind of person does that make me?” Husk asked, voice raising in volume as his despair began to overwhelm him. “Just another monster in your life? Just another rough man who can’t show you the love you deserve?”
Angel pulled away from the hug, putting his hands on either side of Husk’s face. “You’ve shown me plenty of love. Way more than I ever expected or deserve. You’re a good person, Husk. ”
Why was that so hard to believe? “You deserve everything,” he argued.
Angel rolled his eyes affectionately. “That’s beside the point. The point is, you need to come to terms with the fact that bein’ kinky doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re not a monster. You’re my partner. And you know what partners do?” Angel paused for effect, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. “Usually, if they’re the healthy kind, they fuckin’ talk. Negotiate. Not run away from things they’re scared of confronting, but work through them together.”
Husk’s gaze dropped, unable to simultaneously look into Angel’s eyes and take in his words.
“I’m sorry, too,” Angel said. “I’m sorry I’ve been stewing in my own angst myself. Real hypocritical of me, huh? Here I was worrying I was the one who was too much.” He laughed, a real laugh from deep in his chest. “Can’t believe the root of the issue is that we both love each other so much we’re terrified of scarin’ the other off.”
The corners of Husk’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, looking back up at Angel. “You could never scare me off,” he promised. “I mean, you might scare the hell out of me sometimes, but I’ve just accepted that as part of the gig.”
Angel scoffed playfully, taking away his hands to fold his arms while the other pair rested on his hips. “Whaddya mean, mister? How do I scare ya?”
Husk pretended to count on his fingers. “You run into battles with guns a-blazing way too quickly.”
“As if you don’t do the same!”
“You get yourself into all kinds-a trouble I never even thought possible.”
“I’m just that talented, baby.”
“And I’m scared you don’t think good enough of yourself.” Husk brought a hand up to Angel’s face, thumb caressing over the spider’s cheek. “I need you to know you’re worth infinitely more than you give yourself credit for.”
Angel’s expression softened. “And I need you to know that you’re no monster.” With a mischievous side glance, he added, “But feel free to be an animal any time you like.”
Husk gave into the impulse to pull his boyfriend into a kiss, one that was eagerly reciprocated and filled Husk with the kind of warmth that made his mind feel fuzzy. The fuzziness wasn’t enough to distract him from what he really wanted to do next, so he broke the kiss to ask, “Angel?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s just… talk tonight.”
“Like, talk talk?”
“Yeah.”
Angel grinned. “Tell me what’s been on your mind, baby.”